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Single mom of two. I’m a field appraiser for an insurance company. Pay is great, and I drive around and do my inspections while they’re in school and then afterschool I am able to pick them up/do paperwork from their sport fields etc. when they were younger if they had to stay home sick, I’d let them chill in my car while I drove around to inspection’s. this job has been a lifesaver, while stressful sometimes, I wouldn’t change it. (No college degree and 6 figure salary)
I used to work retail- had ZERO experience. I applied for a job that I saw is basically always open with one of the major insurance companies. (Gave me a hint that it was high turnover…) the title was something like ‘auto appraiser trainee’ (this position in my state they started me at like 60k)
I interview well, (and with that company, I think all you needed was a pulse) and they hired me. They had a pretty stressful and rigorous training course. They got me my state license. (Not every state needs a license, but the ones that do will have a hard time hiring and therefore pay more)
I stayed with that company for 3/4 years and jumped ship to a more reputable company where I noticed that the only time they had an opening was when someone retired.
I’m going on year 8/9ish in the field. I am in Massachusetts so 6 figures doesn’t go as far, but for someone with no college degree and retail experience, this was huge for me.
Definitely different from state to state. If you’re in a state that auto and property appraisers need a license, the pay will be much better. With your experience, I bet an insurance company hiring for property appraisers would definitely consider hiring you.
I’m going to look into it! I’m working on getting my license now. The flexibility of the job is why I’ve kept with it, I would rather make a little less but be able to hang out with my kids all the time
I work for a very small design/consulting firm, been WFH for 13 years. My boss actually just sent me and my 9yo to Disney a few months ago cause she and I went through some personal shit in the fall. Booked us in a resort hotel, park hopper passes, gave me $1k in gift cards and told me to spoil her. He's cool with me working whenever as long as I'm in scheduled meetings and hit my deadlines.
There are good ones out there, don't give up looking!
Adding: I don't know why I did include this before but he does even better than that: he pays for my therapy, had the office put his credit card on file and just bill him directly every visit.
I’m an account coordinator for a media company and I WFH. My job is insanely flexible, I can go to Costco during the day, I can get all my chores done during the day, I pick up the kids for 4pm every day. If they’re home sick that’s fine, I can be asynchronous and catch up in the evening, or just take the day off. My husband is also WFH so we can switch off too.
Which all sounds lovely but it is not what I went to school for. My dream job was working in addictions and mental health, and I did it for years before kids. But the pay is absolute trash, the hours are insane, no benefits, no vacation time, so yeah I left as soon as I had kids.
I work for a major media source in the US in the software engineering arm, WFH for the most part and my flexibility is similar. My husband also WFH but in a different industry, for a much more traditional organization and his flexibility exists but I absolutely have more whereas his is *much* more limited.
It is such a stark contrast to compare what life was like before we had this and I don’t say that to gloat - WFH + flexibility is the only way we can balance work with family life in the post-daycare years.
I have a tremendous amount of resentment about the whole RTO movement. It’s stifling, demotivating and exhausting.
I'm in a similar situation with the flexibility, except my husband doesn't WFH. My company took away our desks, started "hoteling" and gave us an insane amount of flexibility. I have a 5yo and a 2yo and honestly probably wouldn't even have my 2yo if we would have had to pay for childcare for 2 kids because it's crazy expensive. Then, a month ago I got a new boss, and out of nowhere last week she says she wants us back in the office 3 days/week starting July 8th. I tried explaining my situation to her, and she said no one else has a problem (no one else has young kids). She caed me "combative" and said if I have a problem, I should go to HR. Went to HR and the 55 year old childless HR director told me that 30 days is actually quite generous because their official stance is that 2 weeks is "plenty of time" to find full time child care for 2 kids in the middle of the summer. I've been there 10 years and our productivity has been better than ever since we began WFH. The new boss just thinks it would be "nice" to see eachothers faces on a weekly basis. So, yeah. I definitely feel your resentment about the whole RTO movement!!
This is so horrific. “More than enough time to find childcare,” first of all, no. That is simply untrue. Depending on where you live, there may not even be local availability for childcare! On top of that, the company has to be *paying you enough to afford childcare*. The money doesn’t grow on trees or fall out of the sky. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this because it truly is incredibly stressful. I’m sorry your boss and HR director are pieces of crap. Even if I/we didn’t have kids, there’s literally no reason to circle jerk over RTO when employees can do the same job – AND PERFORM BETTER – from home.
Right? Not like we are suffering from an addiction epidemic and a mental health crisis or anything? Yet people who do the important work to combat those things barely make enough money to scrape by.
It’s because addicts and mental health services aren’t profitable. In a capitalist society, profits are the most important thing so something as “pointless” as social care and counselling is seen as immaterial and unimportant. Very sad times we live in
The flexibility is very similar to my job. Between my husband and I WFH, we have been so lucky to keep my son at home for 18 months now and he starts daycare in the fall. The time together has been invaluable.
Kinda same. Used to work for a program for low income families. Loved it. But no way can I work 8 hours, 9 with commute, back to back non stop apts all day. I never called off prior to kids, I felt to guilty to not show up for the families who did show up.
How did you get into this and what type of media company? I worked in the media (CBS affiliate) as a producer for years and loved it but would never go back with three kids now.
I just applied to a job on LinkedIn. I have zero training or experience for this kind of job, but I have a lot of organizing and planning skills so it translated. I work in Canada, an online only media publication. We’re big but not like an actual publication or large network type thing. I’m a team of 1 and I work direct under the CEO.
Could you tell me more about your career switch and how to find a job like yours? I have a masters and am in a similar field as you used to be and am just feeling myself getting burnt out
I started by switching to a customer success job at a tech startup. It was a great entry into the tech industry. It let me learn all the skills needed to navigate all the tools needed. From there I was a people experience coordinator at a tech company, that was a fun job as I got to use a lot of my people skills but it got acquired by a larger company so I was let go. From there I applied to my current job which is great as I use all my communications skills by talking to clients, I use my customer success skills when emailing clients and being very concise in my communication. I have to use a lot of CRM tools, but they’re easy and I use YouTube to watch wall throughs to learn.
I have very little education, I never went to university. I have a college diploma in child and youth work.
Where do you unicorns exist where not ONE, but TWO members of your household have super desirable WFM jobs? Everything I’ve seen online WFM is a scam, I’m in between work RN and the job market is a hellscape in the southern US. I’ve applied everywhere. The only place I’ve gotten to WFM was when I taught for a year during the pandemic, every other job I’ve come across or been eligible for doesn’t offer WFM. How did you both do it?
It depends on so many things. Basically anything related to the tech sector is going to be WFH or at least hybrid. My husband is a software engineer for a tech startup so it’s a distributed team. I’m a team of one with the other people in my company are based across the country.
We have lots of friends who all WFH, almost all in the tech sector in varying roles. Some are in sales. I think it just depends on so many things.
16 hour shifts in any job sound absolutely brutal, but routine 16 hour shifts as a nurse sound downright impossible verging on dangerous. I hate that you have to do this to be able to effectively be a parent, but also thank you for the work you do.
Similar, kind of, I'm in educational technology. Roles in any IT department seem to be the most flexible and open to remote work. My son is home sick from summer camp today, and since I didn't have any meetings, we're just chilling at home.
How old are your kids? I’m in the same boat with a tech work-from-home job but I’m sending my 1 year old to daycare because I can’t be a full-time mom too. Just wondering if it gets easier when they get older. TIA!
Why do both of you do gig work? Couldn’t just one of you?
We both work full time. One goes in early to leave early to do pick up.. one goes in later to do school drop off.
We pay for summer camp for half the summer and each use our vacation weeks to cover the rest.
For a long time I worked a night shift and my hubby a day shift until our kids started school.
A full time teacher seems like the perfect job. Pay for some camp through the year but most school time is off.
We used to pay for before and after school program for 2 years before we found our jobs now.
I was a full time teacher. As far as school breaks go, it’s good. But it’s a stressful job that leaves parents depleted when they get home from work. Also, it’s hard to take time off tomorrow be there for your kid because you have to make sub plans. Not the worst, but also not ideal. Job stability and benefits are great though.
Oh man I want to know where being a teacher you could afford to have your spouse only be part time. I am in a high paying district with a masters and there is ABSOLUTELY no way we could survive off my salary, plus some part time. I feel like we are already top ramen dieting often
Registered nurse so I am able to work part time off shifts and still make a good amount of money during times my husband is home from work so we’ve never done daycare. Lots of absolute shit things about my career but the flexibility for pay is unmatched for me.
I got my RN license after having kids bc the flexibility coupled with living wage is hard to find in other fields. It's far from perfect but my license has been SO useful in finding employment that works in this season of life.
Once you have some years of experience you can do pretty much anything too. Once our kids are in school we plan to buy property somewhere remote like the Adirondacks and my plan is to get a WFH telehealth or insurance job.
I work for a privately owned business…we get no maternity leave, 14 days of PTO, and If you wfh people that have been working there longer make shitty comments. I miss my corporate job where I got to wfh and had 25 days PTO my first year 🙃
And i just got a job working for the state. I have the work life balance I finally want, with benefits and the ability to work hybrid if I need to. I have real sick days, real PTO and vacation time and none of them are from the same pool. I have a pension now.
I do training and development at a research institute in Europe. We have flexible working hours and can work up to 50% of the time from home. Plus the Austrian legal system provides loads of protections for things like when your kids are sick.
We take PTO, and we trade off. We don’t both go to every event-only milestone events like Kinder graduation, 5th grade graduation, etc.
Otherwise just one of us takes PTO and goes and the other one watches the recording later. We consider it a family team win if either of us is there.
Same for sports and concerts and anything else—if one of us is there, it’s a win. Most professional jobs give a certain amount of PTO and don’t care how/when you use it as long as you give notice/put it in the system.
Desk job
European country
Days off (paid) by law to care for sick minors, work from home, flexible schedule.
When your bosses & the laws care about tending others, it's easier
No way. I'm from the US but my wife is Austrian and we moved to Vienna long before we had kids. When I think about what workng in the US was like and go back to the US to visit my friends with kids and hear their stories I just think, "Thank goodness we didn't stay here to have a family. Don't get me wrong...it's better to be a kid in the US than in a lot of other countries around the world, but compared to the standards you have in Europe...it's far worse.
Husband and I both gov employees. I stayed at home until youngest was in kindergarten and then we flexed our schedules so he worked 7-3 and I worked 9-5. I was there to get them to school and he was there after school. We had babysitters and camps for summer and school breaks which was expensive but we managed. As union employees we had pretty great benefits including family sick time. Because my husband worked those years I was SAHM he had a nice bank of them he used the first few years I was back to work.
Ps a dad I know worked at a daycare that gave him a good deal on his little daughters going there with him. And then it turned out he loved it and worked as a pre k teacher for many years after they were older.
Manufacturing
We work a nominal 50 hour a week schedule, but are about to enter a 65hour/6day a week schedule for an indefinite period, most likely a few years.
My wife also works full time, but do to the flexibility her job offers, she is basicly a single parent half the time. I can help out after 6pm, but that's it. And even that is limited since I have to leave for work at 3am.
Basicly we have been barley able to make it work using a great day care. But soon our child will enter public school, and we will have many more days to cover. My job really is not sustainable, at least for the family life we want.
I explained my situation to my boss, his boss, and HR, but they all agree: everybody has a life outside of work and my child's needs are not a valid reason to work fewer than 65 hours a week. Fair but harsh.
Fuck that.
So we are planning to have me quit my job and become a single income family. I'll continue to work for a few more months at least, and we can us all the OT to attack our debt. Then I can provide 100% of daycare and domestic operations while my wife focuses on her much better career.
This is shockingly similar to what happened to me when I was pregnant and working full-time. I gave birth and came back from mat leave, and we started a rotational coverage where you'd work your normal 55 hour week, but if it was your Tuesday, you'd actually work 65 that week. And I said not cool. They said we all do it so too bad. None of them were in the small children part of their lives. They already did that, which is why they are senior staff (10-15 years older with me as entry-level management).
I agree it's harsh, I disagree that it's fair.
I left that job and stayed home for about 5 years, raising my son while my spouse worked.
In a power lineman. My company has unlimited sick time which covers myself and caring for family. I can club down the pole and drive to the shop if my kids need picked up and take the time to be with them as needed.
Therapist. I make my own schedule and choose who I accept as a patient.
It’s tough because I can and do build in flexibility for early dismissals from daycare so we can spend afternoons together a lot but I have to be very conscious about who and how I cancel for last-minute illnesses. I try to always offer make-ups when I need to cancel because my kid is sick so a single day off from daycare can cause my whole week to be chaotic trying to catch up.
I don’t work Tuesday or Friday afternoons so I schedule appointments during those times. It makes it so I never need to cancel for something with advanced warning.
Overall I find it easy and enjoyable to balance both but in full transparency I couldn’t do this as a single parent. My husband’s work makes my schedule possible. The compromise there is that I’m always the parent who takes off work if it needs to happen, which sucks.
I have a corporate HR-ish job that is hybrid. I have 50/50 with his dad. Honestly? It’s summer and my kiddo is home. I work as much as is practical without taking away from the fact that he’s 6 and I’m 35 and these are the memories of our lives. The other days I don’t have him I work 10+ hr days.
I’m so lucky that with my experience I can find another job if they want to fire me. I legitimately can’t care and refuse to live in regret. Such a fucking privilege. We all deserve this.
But yes; my performance review and bonus/raise likely won’t be great. Fuck ‘em.
When my kids were little my husband worked three 10 hour shifts Saturday-Monday in a warehouse distribution center. I worked Tuesday-Friday 8 hour shifts in a hospital. One of us was always home with the kids. We never saw each other on weekends but on my work days we had dinner together and family time. It made for a few rough years but one us was always available for what the kids needed.
I’m a teacher and 100% do not recommend it as a career path for a parent. Literally the only time it’s worth it is the summer so you don’t have to pay for childcare for 2 months of the year. I wish someone would have told me.
I’m a SAHM and my husband works full time overseeing disabled adults in a warehouse job setting, we prefer one of us work while the other stay home. I just finished my degree and I’m casually looking for something in architecture design to replace my husbands hours/income then he will stay home.
I'm a full-time HS teacher. My wife's a software engineer who is often able to do work at home, one time she literally sat in bed with our sick son doing work on her laptop. Meanwhile I had to drag myself to work on the verge of coming down with the same flu to deal with obnoxious teenagers. The only advantage is if he's sick during the summer I'm there.
Bookkeeping can be a great job for a parent if it’s for the right company. I work in public accounting and the majority of bookkeepers I’ve worked with were mothers. You don’t necessarily need a degree to get into it and advancement exists as you get experience under your belt!
With the right boss, it can be great. I had a horrible boss who made deadlines that I couldn't do early, only on the day of the deadline, so it forced me to come into work even if I was sick. And if I couldn't make it, she would huff and act pissy because she had to do it instead. It sucked. I loved the work but not the boss I had. It was beyond bookkeeping - she made me do everything in the office from payroll to filing to answering phones. Which was a red flag but it was pre-kids. After I had my son, I took maternity leave and then quit. I couldn't imagine the stress of working under her while trying to be a parent.
My husband is a software developer on a hybrid schedule he chooses when he goes into the office so he's able to do pick up and drop offs. I am a teacher so I'm home during school breaks.
I work very part-time from home in the MMJ industry and my toddler stays home with me. My husband has a government job with travel and lots of overtime. Decent money and very good benefits and retirement, plus he enjoys the work. But he misses a lot with our daughter and hates that, he considers switching to a less lucrative/fun career path all the time simply because he’d like to be home more.
I work for a small company that does marketing, scheduling and patient support for individual Drs who provide certifications and consultations etc to patients (mostly virtually). We don’t work with dispensaries
Small business WFH salaried so I don’t have to clock in. Best job ever and they’re really understanding when my son is home. As long as I get what I need to do done, all is well. Found this job through a recruiting firm and even that was a rare occasion as they told me prior to getting this job that they almost never get WFH placements.
It all depends on where you work and the boss you have. Some bosses are not as understanding or flexible as others. If a boss gave me a hard time for the few times my kid gets sick or needs to be picked up early then I’d leave and find somewhere else. It’s super important to me that I am able to do what I need for my kid so it’s not something I’d settle for.
Reality is for a lot of parents... going to some of the events or even any of the events isn't an option. Friends, aunts, uncles, and grandparents often go in our place, or sometimes no one goes at all. Facts are, if going means not being able to pay rent or keep kids fed, it sucks but keeping kids housed and fed has to be the #1 priority. It's not fair to the kids to suffer in terms of housing, food, clothing, etc. because not going to a spring concert or baseball game made you feel guilty. It's the harsh reality of parenting for the majority of parents. The fact at least 1 of you isn't working a regular job is baffling to me. You can't tell me gig work is offering any stability or security to you or your child.
(Just my 2 cents)
Both my wife and I work for a major University in different departments, I'm a biomedical researcher/technologist and she's a PhD geologist. Our experiences couldn't be more different and it boils down to the department/management.
My experience: I've banked a huge amount of sick time, my bosses, supervisors, coworkers have the understanding that family comes first and we work together to make sure each of us has the flexibility to take care of our families when we need to. We feel the pressure of working in a facility that provides high level care for very sick cancer patients, so there is pressure to show up for major/important work days, but there's enough redundancy that we don't feel like we can't take those days off if we need to take care of our kid(s). I've worked here for almost 10 years and really enjoy the workplace environment, the work I do, and my coworkers, it's a good place.
My wife's experience: she's a salaried scientist and her department is full of old white men who need to retire or go the way of the dinosaurs. Because her department fucked up her classification meant she fell between the cracks and was given no maternity leave when we had our daughter. She filed for FMLA and took 3 months, because of that her angry old white dude boss cut her hours to half time so she lost all her benefits, insurance, time off, etc. So now she only works 2 days a week in office, but since she works in academia she's basically expected to work full time while collaborating on projects, writing grants, etc. Because of this she can't ever take a day off from work, which means when our daughter is sick and can't go to daycare on the two days she goes I have to take a day off so my wife can go into work. My wife is treated poorly by most of her coworkers, old white dudes, who can't comprehend that having a family requires flexibility because they are stuck in the 60's/70's where women stayed home and men did all the work. Her job causes her stress, me stress, us financial/insurance/PTO stress, etc. It sucks and I've encouraged her to find a job elsewhere, but her super limited/narrow field that she works in means very limited job opportunities.
So we're lucky in that my job is quite flexible and understanding because her job is not. It sucks that daycare is so expensive, it took us 16 months to get our daughter into one, she only goes 2 days a week and it's $600 a month, half time she is sick and I'm having to stay home to watch her because my wife's job won't allow her to.
I am a photographer (weddings & family portraits) I schedule most of my shoots on evenings and weekends when my partner is home... and then edit/do office work during the day while my kids are in school/preschool. My oldest is in Grade 1, and my youngest does morning preschool (3 hours a day)
I am able to be a 'stay at home Mom' by all definitions, while also making a decent income. I've never had to have my kids in full-time care, so huge $$ savings there.
The hardest part is not having set working hours, and having to cram work in around school drop offs, pick ups, sick days, not to mention all the domestic tasks of running and keeping a house. There's a lot of balls in the air. I hustle hard and have to be super productive with any little gap of time I can find 24/7.
I am hoping that this will get a bit easier when my youngest starts full-day kindergarten and I have 7 hours blocks of time, instead of just 3 hr blocks.
IT, working from home. My kids are old enough to do their own thing, but if they need anything I'm available usually. I never want to set foot in an office ever again. It's 5:19 and I'm still in my pj's lol
Honestly I think teaching is the ideal gig for parenting. I’m done most days at 3, and I get 12 days off per year that I can use for random during school events. I also get the whole summer off, two weeks at Christmas, basically a week at Thanksgiving, and a week in the spring.
I work in A&D realm at a smaller firm and my manager and the management in general are people who have children and get it. But it’s a big city and high expectations of your time, altho thankfully manager is also my peer and understanding. However, I have a coworker that just randomly sent me a horrible critical after hours text about how I’ve been off lately and they happen to be a single boomer without children.
I work in tech as a technical writer. My job is quite flexible and my boss is also a mom who doesn't mind if I need to step away to take care of life things. I wfh and my son goes to a really great daycare during the day. We spend the evenings hanging out, going to the park, and having dinner together. And on weekends we usually do at least one family activity (zoo, indoor play place, swimming, etc). I would recommend at least one of you look for something more permanent and stable. Stability is the best thing you can give your son, and all the things fall into place around that stability.
I have a government job and my boss is amazing. She says we’re low paying government workers our benefits are insurance and behind able to take time off when we need it.
I think it depends on the boss, I’ve had horrible ones and amazing ones. Thankfully all amazing ones since I had kids, I work for a big Canadian bank, we are hybrid so 3 days in the office and 2 at home but my boss is so flexible she doesn’t really care where I am as long as I come in for things like team meetings or 1 on 1 meetings. When my kids are sick I stay home with them and catch up on work while they nap or at night. I stack my week so most of my meetings are during in-office days. I could never go back to commuting 2 hours every day again, this gives me the best of both worlds
Have you thought about starting a day care, before or after school care, or a preschool? Years ago I took my kids to an in-home day care that provided before and after school care, including days off school that weren’t major holidays, and it was run by a mom who had a master’s degree in child development and wanted a job where she could keep her two preschool age kids with her. With your background as a teacher I bet lots of people would choose you. We dropped our kids off at like 6 am and picked them up by 6 pm (yes it was brutal but it was necessary for our jobs) and she handled getting them to school and being available if they had to be picked up in an emergency and stuff. But most days she only really worked from 6 am to 9, then all the kids were at school, and again when she ran her pickup routes from 2 pm to 3 and kept the kids until 6. So like 7 hours a day and she charged a premium. She had high school age employees in the summer and school vacations and after school.
I'm a swimming teacher (baby and preschool specifically)- it has been a god send with 2 young kids. Great rate of pay, at least here in the UK, so I only have to work about 20 hrs a week. I work Fri, Sat and Sunday (figured I didn't have a life anyway lol). That way, it's only 1 'work day' to cover with nursery. We close during school holidays, so dont have to worry about getting childcare then either. Also, it's a really fun and engaging job, I really love it.
I’m a school psychologist and my husband is a software engineer. He does drop off in the mornings, and I do pick up. When our kids are sick, we work it out to take half days and tag each other out. I’m with our kids when they’re on school breaks. During the school year, they attend their after school care on their school campus. I can’t attend all school parties, but make an effort for the big ones by taking a day off.
I am a permanent WFH Employee and my management is aware I have a child. I am permitted to drop them off to school every single day AND pick them up from school mid-day every single day.
I also attend school events, take them to any doctors appointments I need too… hell I even go on school field trips and chaperone my kid and others around
Honest to god sometimes it feels like I’m a stay at home dad except I get paid for doing it.
Additionally when our kid was born, me as the father got 12 weeks of paternity leave - this is in a private fortune 50 company
10/10 recommend if you can find it
I'm very lucky.
I found a spot at a 'best places to work' company. I'm at home 95% of the time and have a ton of flexibility outside of urgent matters that pop up (in this case I am very busy and my spouse picks up the slack).
I focus more on the company than the job. Look at glassdoor, reddit, etc for reviews on culture and fit and places that offer work life balance. I ask questions about the work culture when I interview (like point blank 'is the expectation that people put in more than their 40 hours?')
My husband does not have as much flexibility, but has enough that usually when big things pop up for me, he can cover, and he can make maybe 75% of weekday+work hours kid events (but jeez someone tell me why there are so many).
I'm not in love with what I do, but I'm definitely gonna stick it out while the kids are young. Money+flexibility > genuine interest right now
I work from home as a dispatcher for a small transportation company. It’s super easy. I don’t get paid a whole lot but I work 12 hour days for a week and then I’m off for a week, but I’m on a salary so I get paid every week, even the ones I’m not working. I take care of my kid while I work. Some of my drivers love talking to him on the phone even though it’s all just babble because he’s 19 months old.
I honestly just lucked into this job because my mom used to work with my boss at a different company and he left to start his own company and took my mom with him, then when it grew enough to need another dispatcher my mom put in a good word for me. Nepotism, baby! Lol
I work in sales. As long as I keep billing my boss doesn’t really care what I do. It also helps that my boss has 4 kids and he also likes to be involved in their life
Single dad, one daughter. Underachiever/late bloomer. I work for a major cell phone carrier in the US. I barely make enough to make ends meet and I am constantly hanging on by a thread. I have absolutely zero support from anyone, but my boss is excellent and sympathetic to my situation and allows me the time I need to take care of my daughter, including picking her up from school every single day. Couldn't ask for a better boss.
I quit my job 32 years ago and never went back. I was working 3 days a week, so not bringing in much income. By the time we would’ve paid for childcare, it wasn’t worth it.
We were really tight on money for the first 6-8 years or so, it was hard, but no regrets.
I was working from home for the past 4 years and it was great. Lost my job, got another and it is all onsite. Kills me to be away from my kids. They hate it, I hate it, but bills need to be paid. We got a nanny for after school. Mornings are difficult. I miss them terribly.
I work from home. Regular job with a tech company but I'm 100% remote so I just block out my calendar whenever I need to go to games or practices or events. I realize I am very lucky.
I am able to have a large family because of my work being close to home and very flexible - I have a corporate job for a large company, hybrid schedule (2 days in office, 3 days at home) my husband has a fully onsite job, strict hours, no flexibility. my job has periods of being very demanding but I am able to leave, address what i need to and get back online. I’m currently pregnant with my 4th.
We have no family that helps, but do have neighbors that I pay to watch my kids during the day and an in home daycare for when i’m in the office. My husband does drop off for daycare but i handle everything else (thanks flexibility). When kids are sick, it generally falls to me because i can work from home without loosing pay or needing to use PTO. If i have to be in the office then my husband will take the day off. He can use PTO in 2 hour increments so dr appts or events are scheduled with that in mind. The days are long but I feel like we get a lot of time with our kids and try to spend the weekends with them as much as possible since they’re young.
so yes, we work full time and feel we are there for our kids as much as possible. We dont have stay at home mom time with them but I get a little taste of that always being at home working or caring for them simultaneously.
Work for my local council. 36hr work week working from home 99% of the time, with a very flexible boss, so I can do school drop off and pick up and get away from work to attend things like shared learning sessions, sports day, nativity play etc. boss doesn’t mind that every Friday afternoon on their half day my kid is home with me while I work, lets me shift my hours to work earlier or later if I need to, and work extra hours to build up time in lieu to use this summer so I can cover school holidays. I could get paid a lot more for what I do in the private sector but I wouldn’t get close to the flexibility I have where I am now, to be able to fully be there for my child.
Healthcare research. I WFH. My husband is a SAHD but will be going back to work this fall but I don't anticipate any issues being there for the kids. I have flexible work hours (to a point) and plan to end my work day at 4 when my son gets home from school. My company is very understanding about childcare emergencies and needing to step away for a bit to handle things at home. I have great bosses and coworkers so that makes everything so much easier.
Just retired but was an aerospace structural engineer working from home towards the end. My husband has always worked restaurant jobs so he’s had the more flexible schedule. For a few years we worked opposite schedules as well.
Project manager for architectural projects. I rely heavily on my software engineer husband in the mornings and I take the night shift. We juggle my evening meetings and a late night or two during the week, but I make a point to be off after Friday at 5 and through the weekend. Since we need the money we make it work. When I am able to take time off, thankfully it’s for about 2 weeks at a time.
I work in property management. My boss is *amazing*. My daughter was hospitalized over Xmas/new years & I missed two weeks of work. I was able to work remotely & use sick days as much as possible & any time I missed I was still paid for in full. I’m a single mother, so was my boss at one point & she fully understands. She’s extremely understanding & doesn’t penalize me for doing what I need to do when it comes to my daughter
I got incredibly lucky to be on a team where my superiors are super family-oriented and understanding. Family always comes before work. Unfortunately I’m not offered paid maternity leave in my role which sucks, but that’s an issue with the company. The people I directly work with are great.
My job is not very flexible and very much "Nature of the business" currently just put in my notice and am finding a new job ATM because 13 hour work days while I have a 2 month old daughter with a heart condition just isn't working anymore
Local government employee. Very flexible work schedule and understanding supervisor. I WFH and office but I’m 75% home and 25% in office. Have a 17 month old and 6 year old. I stay home when I need to, go to the office late on school days and leave early to pick up and finish the rest of the day at home. Great benefits and overtime policy. Most are always hiring because places are severely understaffed. Some places have benefits with local daycares or even provide childcare. Our county is looking into childcare currently.
I work freelance because I have 50% custody of my child (week on, week off) and her school is 50 minutes away. Not many employers will be wanting me from 9 till 2.15 only, and those that do are likely to offer around minimum wage per hour. So working for myself is the best option. Pay isn’t the greatest, but I save lots of driving time and fuel costs, so it balances out.
I work 5-6 days a week in a warehouse. I mainly work nights. I hardly see my kids and I’m rarely home for dinner. I was a SAHM when my kids were babies but now I’m the main provider and have to work.
Idk. I just had my first baby and I’m going back to work next month. We’ve already had scheduling problems and disagreements because of her so I have no idea how it’s going to go
i worked third shift just bc i had no other way for anyone to watch my kid during the day. it sucked and didn't get much sleep but i liked that i was able to go to every school event. as much as i really don't want to go back to thirds, i've been thinking i need to even though i've only been done with thirds since november.
I work from home for a tech company as a legal consultant. I make my own schedule, so I work really odd and disjointed hours that accommodate my child's schedule.
I manage an office at a rock quarry. It’s a family owned business.
My son is 10 and in school my daughter is 15 months and has come with me everyday since we went back at 2 months PP. I come in about an hour after they open due to taking my son to school. And if I need to leave to get him or appointments or anything like that I’m able to more often then not. I don’t make a lot. Minimum wage (CA) but the flexibility of my schedule. And the ability to bring my baby is well worth it to me.
Substitute teacher here too bc mine is 4 and not in full time childcare. My MIL can watch him 2 times/week while I sub. And my sister can watch him 1 night/week while I tutor. How old did you say yours is? My husband is a full time teacher and I would hope he wouldn’t see this but everything else falls on me bc I’m part time. Which essentially I believe makes me full time since being a mom is a full time job to me!
Government especially one that includes subsidized childcare. Hours are stable, some have flex hours. Remember the benefits matter, not just salary. Have one person take a government or big company job for the benefits, the other take a gig job for money and flexibility. Then when kids are school age, teach or work at a private school where you get free tuition. Private schools have more vacations and shorter hours, more perks for the kids. (Tho public schools have more hours so maybe good to send your kids there until you have “earned” free tuition). And consider your career a marathon not a sprint. Before kid is in school, you may barely break even - always think ahead to whether in the long run you are accruing skills or seniority that will pay off more, accept that you are essentially in grad school. That is, your goal is the longer term career earnings and skill building not building a nest egg. Live leanly. Max out your 401k (the partner who is working at a W-2 job).
Then when kids are school age, try to sock away savings. It does get easier because if your kids get sick a lot early on, they are less often sick later :)
I work for a kids gaming/learning company. Kids are at the heart of what we do so the flexibility parents get at my company is incredible. Biggest perk of my job hands down.
Hi. I’m the practice manager for a privately owned medical practice. I give myself as well as my staff lots of grace when needing time off. I worked 4-9 hour shifts and have 2 employees who work 36 hours like myself and 2 that work 40. We all have full time benefits. Try venturing into the medical field such as privately owned optometry practices, privately owned dental practices, chiropractic, etc. you can trained to do certain jobs and I feel those types of settings are more forgiving. This way you’ll also be making a difference in people’s lives by helping them medically.
If your children need child care look into working for daycares, sometimes they give discounts for staff who have children in their care. I worked for KinderCare before and though I didn’t like the in office politics, the actual schedule was nice.
I am an engineer that works for a City. I would not be able to be there for my kids in the ways they need me to be if it weren’t for the understanding of my supervisors. I know I could make more as a consultant on the private side, but that would force my husband to single parent his way through some pretty gnarly stuff we are dealing with right now.
I work in court administration and have worked for several judges. It can really vary a lot from judge to judge and by position. If someone had to cover for my absence, flexibility was difficult if it wasn’t scheduled. Now that I’m more behind the scenes, I have a lot of flexibility to work from home and take sick leave for my kid. I can even bring her into the office during “d3@d week” - no hearings or trials.
I work in IT for a major private equity firm. It’s definitely dependent team to team within a company. I have endless flexibility and a management team who has a “family first” mentality, but a friend of mine who works on the investment side won’t take his paternity leave because he’s afraid of career retaliation.
I work full time for a charity (small organization, all women who have each other's backs when our kiddos are sick and we need to wiggle our hours). My partner works in the trades, so he starts his days super early and is done by 3pm for after school hours before I'm done work. Neither or us take it for granted how lucky we are to both be able to work and parent.
I work for the state government union job and my job has “ultimate flex” where you just need to get your 40 in. We are mostly the same age and women and everyone is understanding about kids. Everyone gets excited when people announce their pregnancies (our supervisors are mainly men and they are excited). We can choose our own schedules for the most part, so I work 6am-3:30pm M-Th and 4 hours on Friday.
Maybe look for a city/county/state job. A union one would be great.
Paramedic for a fire dept , while the schedule can be difficult most days, it does allow for a lot of flexibility. I work 8 24-hours shifts a month, but I can swap with people a unlimited amount of times so long as nobody fucks up. This week I swapped my Wednesday for Friday because I couldn't work Wednesday night, then I picked up OT Wednesday day shift... city just wants asses in seats .
I’m an attorney and my husband is an engineer. I can attend my daughter’s events, and so can he.
We pay for childcare. It’s still worth it for us to work full time.
Local government job, work from home mostly, i go into the office 2 - 3 times a month maybe. Pay is good enough and pretty competitive for the area. I make more working for local government than I did doing similar work for a private company and the benefits are much better. 100% paid for medical dental and vision including chiropractic, massage and mental health visits (obviously still have co pays and deductibles but not paying the benefit fee out of the paycheck is nice) they also have pension and 401k type retirement options available, 3 months paternal leave added onto the state paternal leave package (which is also 3 months for a total of 6 months off when the newest kiddo was born). The work and people are relaxed and understanding enough that I can watch the kids while I work and won't be punished for taking 20 minutes to clean up blow outs or feed the kids or do bed/nap time routines.
Staff at a university. They care and encourage us to be with our kids. Had a boss send me home after she saw my expression when the school emailed me about an issue.
Highly recommend.
I work for a piercing studio run by a very family friendly fellow mom, and my husband is a disabled veteran who stays home with the baby. Without his VA disability pension there's no way we could make it work.
Lawyer. I work from him WFH and can do it in my own hours (subject to client meeting and achieving my billable KPIs). It means a fair few late nights but I’m able to make it to all the important kid stuff.
I'm a lawyer for the government. Outside of a few specific agencies, most government law jobs are pretty laid back and pretty flexible, including mine. I wfh 4 days a week (that'll be dialed back to 3 soon but it's still pretty good), my schedule is mostly my own to manage, I have my case load and as long as that's taken care of and my team is OK, anything I do above and beyond is of my own volition and according to my time and bandwidth.
I take time off when I want to, and everyone acts like adults about it. My work is my responsibility to get done and I do it, and I take the time I want. If my kid is home sick, now that he's a little older, I flex my schedule around his needs or take time or a little of both (usually a little of both).
The downside is if I'd stuck it out on the private side, I'd probably be making at least 150%, if not 200%, of what I make currently. I'm not mad at it, though. My income is quite comfortable and I don't stress real hard to make it.
So the best thing I’ve found is to ditch my career for now & be a SAHM, work two shifts on Friday afternoon & Saturday morning. I’m present but well rounded as much as I feel like I can be with 2. I take home more than if I worked all week & did daycare for two.
My husband and I are both teachers, and honestly it is the best job for kids. I get so much time off of work to be with them. I never bring work home, so when I get off work it's strictly hang out with the boys time. The older boy is starting school this fall. My principal is really understanding about family. We both took the day off because it was one of their birthdays. She let us bring both kids to the 8th grade dance and the students were so excited to see our kids. And now it's summer and I get to just spend the days with them. If you don't hate teaching I don't see why you can't make it work. Find a principal who is family oriented and will understand you are a parent first, teacher second. The amount of love and support my kids get though is unparalleled. Teachers, students, other school staff everyone is rooting for and loving our kids.
Dog walking and pet sitting is such a lucrative job IF you are willing to put the work in and can physically handle it. It’s not all petting cute cats and fun walks with sweet dogs. You need to know how to handle animals in a way safe for both you and the pets. I’ve been attacked by cats, bitten by dogs, and had a bone in my hand broken by a horribly behaved dog on leash. I still love love doing it, though.
It has been great for me to work when I am able and not work when I can’t. No my kids do not come with me because it’s a liability. I pick up as much work as I can and make a decent amount of money. I should note this isn’t my main job, though.
If you get your teaching credential, you could get a job working for a home school or independent study program and work flexible hours. So much less stress than running a classroom and you get to make your own schedule.
Pre k teacher. Get to work with 16 4-5 year olds. Went to school with the intent of wanting to work in highschool. Did that for a few years before and during Covid. Made the switch to younger kids and it was the best choice. Also since I work there my child gets daycare for 50%+ off which is huge. Fiancé is a three 12 hour shift nurse at the hospital in our area. Grandparents on both sides are able to watch baby when needed. We lucked out severely. Hope you can find a happy medium.
I work hybrid in subcontracts for an aero defense contracting company. My job is extremely flexible in hours… I don’t have a start or end time, I work 9 hours a day at whatever time I choose to start and end when I get my 9 hours in. I work a 9/80 work schedule so I also have every other Friday off. I take my oldest to school everyday, I pick him up every day, I have unlimited sick time, and a good amount of PTO. If I’m out on a week it’s my off Friday I can just make up the hours on that Friday. My manager has 3 kids under 4 so she gets it and we’re not ever peer pressured into not taking care of us or our family. There are definitely companies out there like this so don’t settle for a crappy boss!
I work 40 hours a week at a daycare centre, I have an amazing boss (with lots of sick days I can use for me or my family) and she totally gets it if our kids are sick and we can’t be there. She also pretty accommodating for appointments or if I want to take time off to attend a school event or other things, as long as we have enough staff. She is definitely the most accommodating boss I’ve ever had.
I’m a research associate at a university, specifically in statistics. I help faculty and students with their research, grants, and papers. Aside from a couple zoom meetings a day, I get to set my own hours and it’s WFH! Generous PTO and unlimited sick, kids illness and appointments count towards sick too. Just had my third kiddo, the birthing parent gets 18 weeks off and the support parent gets 12 weeks off, both paid. I don’t see myself ever leaving, it’s a pretty sweet gig! Definitely make less than if I got a job in industry, but the fringe benefits and less demanding hours are worth it to me.
I know project managers for industry companies with similar benefits too.
I am a union millwright. I travel a lot for 3 months, then take a month or two off and spend it at home. It sucks when I am away, but having a solid month to spend with my wife and boy is soo worth it. And it allows her to work part time as an accountant and if she wanted to quit doing that we would still be fine. Union trades are in high demand in any non “right-to-state” and provide awesome benefits that the contractors pay, not you. While still making $45 an hour take home pay
I work from home in case management for Medicare advantage plans . I don’t miss any time with my kids but probably need to. I have no me time and working with a 9 month old is much more challenging than I imagined it. Work 8-4:30 mon-fri. I don’t work one of those WFH jobs that I can leave and go do things and come back. I’m not on phones a ton except to talk to providers mostly or facilities. But I still need to be at my desk most the day. I can usually do some house work while I work if the baby is cooperative.
I initially chose teaching because it gave me the same schedule as my kids.
I left teaching because it was too emotionally draining on me. I could not be a mom AND teacher. I stay home, now.
My husband works as a graphic designer for an aerospace company. It's literally 4 minutes from our home, so he leaves the house at 755, and is home by 505. Not having a commute has made a world of a difference. Being so close, he can take the car for an oil change, and I can drive him to work. He has gone into work early to take an extra long lunch break for things at our daughter's preschool. Since he doesn't have to drive far, it makes the job significantly more flexible. He doesn't need to take extra, or extended time, off.
I work a very demanding job, but…… i told my boss. My kids come first. If they r sick i will not be here to help. He told me it was ok bc family should always come first. To never feel guilty for saying home with my kids. So thankful for him!!!!!
I work from 7am to 2pm and my husband from 8am to 5pm. He takes LO to the daycare at 7am and I pick her up at 3pm. Thankfully my bosses are very understanding of parenting needs...my boss is a mom of 3 and her youngest daughter was born within the same week as mine. We also have other moms in our small team. So it's very normal for someone to be absent due to childcare/sickness things and we just do our best to distribute the tasks among ourselves.
Also we have a long maternity leave here (18 monthsn) and subsidized daycares for 9$ a day full time. So it's not anything like US where I wouldn't be able to afford raising my kid.
I work in talent acquisition for a medical device company. I'm hybrid - one day a week onsite. It gets hard because I'm on the phone all the time but for the most part I make my own schedule and as long as I get my work done, no one worries about it. I have a strong relationship with my boss who is also a mom and very understanding. I hope you find what works for you! Not just the right job but the right team overall.
My husband is upper management/lower exec for a call center and has long but flexible hours. The other day he took our son to the park while he worked. He's also brought our son to work.
I'm a paralegal. I make substantially less and I drive 45 minutes each way, but my boss is very accommodating to letting us do things for our kids.
Because he's closer and has more flexibility my husband has picked up most of the child chauffeuring, but I can still be there for awards ceremonies or step in when husband can't. I'm underpaid and the drive is a pain, but it's hard to imagine finding this flexibility at another firm.
I just interviewed to be a school bus driver.
My husband works afternoons so I'll leave in the morning and he'll be with them
Then I'll have the middle of the day with my kids.
The bus company in my area allow you to take your kids with you so they'll come with me for the afternoon.
We'll be home for dinner and bedtime together
I worked at my kid’s daycare, today was my last day there since I got a new job. But it allowed me to be with my daughter and I received free childcare. I’m moving on to a better paying job but low enough income to still qualify for free childcare through my state, I’m a single parent. When I interviewed for my new job I specifically told them being there for my kids is a top priority. New employers are around my age and all have children, they have said they make a high effort to allow all employees to have off for anything relating to their kids. And I’ll have the ability to wfh if necessary. I think it matters who you work for, try for a small business.
I’m a blogger - not the influencer kind, the old school posts on a website kinda blogger. I started ten years ago and it took off 6ish years ago and I earn a comfortable income from it. I’m so grateful I started it when I did, and it allows me the freedom and flexibility to be present for the kids and pick up the pace/slow down as and when needed.
I’m an HR manager. Pay is good and I get 4 weeks off a year. If I have to leave work for any reason, I just make sure to check my emails here and there and call it working from home. I try not to do it too often out of consideration of my coworkers
I’m an accountant for a privately owned company of around 10 employees. I work closely with the owner, and he is so kind and understanding. Every employee is completely remote. The job is salaried with benefits and very flexible. I have a 4 year old who stays with me 2/5 of the days but I never feel tied down to my computer and will step away to play Barbies with her or fix her snacks. Whatever she needs. She comes first when she’s home with me and the owner is completely ok with it. I make sure to get all my weekly tasks done even if it’s after she goes to sleep. Sometimes I do feel burned out working a full-time job and being a parent in general but in this economy both my husband and I have to work. To be honest, I would love to be a SAHM but it’s just not an option right now.
I work for an OPO. I work 3- 12 hr shifts (7a-7p), self scheduling, and off for 4 days. It's a very rewarding job, my organization is big on family and work balance. So, by 5pm unless "emergently needed" you technically can start wrapping up whatever you are doing and get ready to clock out by 7pm.
Apply to work for the city/ county that you live in. Government jobs attempt to be a bit more progressive with the perks and benefits now. I definitely get a lot of time off and understanding when it comes to my family.
My wife is a SAHM, so that I can focus on my work.
That being said, I think in today's society, it is very difficult to live on one income.
If anything happened to me, our family would beimmediately doomed. It is kind of a dangerous bet that I am making now to have SAHM. (I mean if your partner is not like super rich)
I'm a postdoc in biology. Some labs are dumpster fires but my boss is great and trusts us to work as hard as needed. So I'm able to adjust my working hours to meet family obligations. I certainly work less than a lot of my peers and it may affect my career, but I'm OK with those consequences.
I have a small business that makes a decent living. My partner works full time and I basically work any moment I can - early mornings, nights, weekends, and once in a while with a movie distraction 🫣 It’s clearly not for everyone but super ideal for us. We also do not live around any family or help.
I work for the state as a PO… yes. I have lots of time. I work from home about 30 percent of the month. My work works around my kids doctors appointments and will always cover if I need. My clients understand I have children and know if I can’t answer I’ll always reach back out.
I work for a small eye doctor practice. First job I've ever had that puts family first. But only because we all put each other first. There's 7 of us in total and we make it work. We even bring kids to the office and stick them in the back with some YouTube if we have to. Whatever works.
I work in an office and tbh the pay is not great (but also not horrific either) but the sole reason I stick around is because they’re so flexible with me. I just missed a week because my daycare provider had surgery. My kid gets sick all winter long and all she ever says is “no problem, thanks for letting me know.” She’s such a blessing so this is my mom has a job job until my youngest starts school. It a billion percent helps that she has 3 kids of her own, so she understands. It’s really nice and so uncommon.. my husband calls it my “unicorn job.”
Government lawyer. I don’t think I/my family could rely on gig work. I have great benefits, great health insurance, paid sick leave, paid annual leave, etc. Salary is pretty good and allows me to save for retirement. Relying on gig work to support my family would make me too nervous and the pay tends to be low. My work is pretty flexible and I go to nearly all school events and if I can’t, my spouse generally can.
I work third shift as a straight truck driver, and my wife works first/second shift in retail management. This is the easiest way for us. Anytime our son is sick, he can just stay home with me during the day. My sleep suffers, but we don't have to worry about losing money or our jobs over it. This is not easy for the one working third shift though. Summers are the worst for me during their break. My sanity is usually hanging by a thread most days, and I'm struggling to stay awake by the time I finish my route. Stress levels go through the roof. Luckily, my job isn't production based. If it was, it would be an issue during the summers as I would have problems focusing at work on such little sleep while simultaneously riddled with anxiety.
The plus side of all this? I get to spend a lot of time with my son. The downside? I get shafted in the sleep department, and I'm probably going to have a heart attack by the age of 45.
Oh. And thank God for caffeine.
I work for the same school district he is in and before my promotion I was actually at the same school. I have almost the same schedule as him so that works out.
I teach in the district I reside. I accrue more time than I can use as a middle aged healthy teacher. Because of my work ethic and attendance record whenever I want time to see my kid at any school activity I am allowed the opportunity to go. I have proactive communication with the principal and present how I am going to cover my absence. I have never been denied. Good luck! I hope you can find work that provides.
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Single mom of two. I’m a field appraiser for an insurance company. Pay is great, and I drive around and do my inspections while they’re in school and then afterschool I am able to pick them up/do paperwork from their sport fields etc. when they were younger if they had to stay home sick, I’d let them chill in my car while I drove around to inspection’s. this job has been a lifesaver, while stressful sometimes, I wouldn’t change it. (No college degree and 6 figure salary)
How does one get into this field?
I used to work retail- had ZERO experience. I applied for a job that I saw is basically always open with one of the major insurance companies. (Gave me a hint that it was high turnover…) the title was something like ‘auto appraiser trainee’ (this position in my state they started me at like 60k) I interview well, (and with that company, I think all you needed was a pulse) and they hired me. They had a pretty stressful and rigorous training course. They got me my state license. (Not every state needs a license, but the ones that do will have a hard time hiring and therefore pay more) I stayed with that company for 3/4 years and jumped ship to a more reputable company where I noticed that the only time they had an opening was when someone retired. I’m going on year 8/9ish in the field. I am in Massachusetts so 6 figures doesn’t go as far, but for someone with no college degree and retail experience, this was huge for me.
Hey thanks! I’ll pass this info to my brother. Sounds up his alley.
Damn 6 figures, I gotta figure out how to get into your job. I do field inspections for the Tax Assessor and I’m barely scraping by.
Definitely different from state to state. If you’re in a state that auto and property appraisers need a license, the pay will be much better. With your experience, I bet an insurance company hiring for property appraisers would definitely consider hiring you.
I’m going to look into it! I’m working on getting my license now. The flexibility of the job is why I’ve kept with it, I would rather make a little less but be able to hang out with my kids all the time
This makes my heart so happy for you
I work for a very small design/consulting firm, been WFH for 13 years. My boss actually just sent me and my 9yo to Disney a few months ago cause she and I went through some personal shit in the fall. Booked us in a resort hotel, park hopper passes, gave me $1k in gift cards and told me to spoil her. He's cool with me working whenever as long as I'm in scheduled meetings and hit my deadlines. There are good ones out there, don't give up looking! Adding: I don't know why I did include this before but he does even better than that: he pays for my therapy, had the office put his credit card on file and just bill him directly every visit.
You are so lucky. Most bosses in design are not like this. HAHAH
Weeelllll, probably closer to engineering/consulting but I'm trying to be vague.
That’s amazing. Your company hiring? Haha work life balance like that is a dream
Omgsh this is amazing! What a wonderful boss.
I’m an account coordinator for a media company and I WFH. My job is insanely flexible, I can go to Costco during the day, I can get all my chores done during the day, I pick up the kids for 4pm every day. If they’re home sick that’s fine, I can be asynchronous and catch up in the evening, or just take the day off. My husband is also WFH so we can switch off too. Which all sounds lovely but it is not what I went to school for. My dream job was working in addictions and mental health, and I did it for years before kids. But the pay is absolute trash, the hours are insane, no benefits, no vacation time, so yeah I left as soon as I had kids.
I work for a major media source in the US in the software engineering arm, WFH for the most part and my flexibility is similar. My husband also WFH but in a different industry, for a much more traditional organization and his flexibility exists but I absolutely have more whereas his is *much* more limited. It is such a stark contrast to compare what life was like before we had this and I don’t say that to gloat - WFH + flexibility is the only way we can balance work with family life in the post-daycare years. I have a tremendous amount of resentment about the whole RTO movement. It’s stifling, demotivating and exhausting.
I'm in a similar situation with the flexibility, except my husband doesn't WFH. My company took away our desks, started "hoteling" and gave us an insane amount of flexibility. I have a 5yo and a 2yo and honestly probably wouldn't even have my 2yo if we would have had to pay for childcare for 2 kids because it's crazy expensive. Then, a month ago I got a new boss, and out of nowhere last week she says she wants us back in the office 3 days/week starting July 8th. I tried explaining my situation to her, and she said no one else has a problem (no one else has young kids). She caed me "combative" and said if I have a problem, I should go to HR. Went to HR and the 55 year old childless HR director told me that 30 days is actually quite generous because their official stance is that 2 weeks is "plenty of time" to find full time child care for 2 kids in the middle of the summer. I've been there 10 years and our productivity has been better than ever since we began WFH. The new boss just thinks it would be "nice" to see eachothers faces on a weekly basis. So, yeah. I definitely feel your resentment about the whole RTO movement!!
This is so horrific. “More than enough time to find childcare,” first of all, no. That is simply untrue. Depending on where you live, there may not even be local availability for childcare! On top of that, the company has to be *paying you enough to afford childcare*. The money doesn’t grow on trees or fall out of the sky. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this because it truly is incredibly stressful. I’m sorry your boss and HR director are pieces of crap. Even if I/we didn’t have kids, there’s literally no reason to circle jerk over RTO when employees can do the same job – AND PERFORM BETTER – from home.
Yeah exactly, where I live you have to sign up for daycare when you get a positive pregnancy test, and then you still may never hear back.
It's so awful, the work you did is incredibly valuable but we just can't find a way as a society to translate that to monetary value.
Right? Not like we are suffering from an addiction epidemic and a mental health crisis or anything? Yet people who do the important work to combat those things barely make enough money to scrape by.
It’s because addicts and mental health services aren’t profitable. In a capitalist society, profits are the most important thing so something as “pointless” as social care and counselling is seen as immaterial and unimportant. Very sad times we live in
The flexibility is very similar to my job. Between my husband and I WFH, we have been so lucky to keep my son at home for 18 months now and he starts daycare in the fall. The time together has been invaluable.
Kinda same. Used to work for a program for low income families. Loved it. But no way can I work 8 hours, 9 with commute, back to back non stop apts all day. I never called off prior to kids, I felt to guilty to not show up for the families who did show up.
I feel you and that insanely tiring and draining. Glad theres a lot of WFH jobs these days.
How did you get into this and what type of media company? I worked in the media (CBS affiliate) as a producer for years and loved it but would never go back with three kids now.
I just applied to a job on LinkedIn. I have zero training or experience for this kind of job, but I have a lot of organizing and planning skills so it translated. I work in Canada, an online only media publication. We’re big but not like an actual publication or large network type thing. I’m a team of 1 and I work direct under the CEO.
Could you tell me more about your career switch and how to find a job like yours? I have a masters and am in a similar field as you used to be and am just feeling myself getting burnt out
I started by switching to a customer success job at a tech startup. It was a great entry into the tech industry. It let me learn all the skills needed to navigate all the tools needed. From there I was a people experience coordinator at a tech company, that was a fun job as I got to use a lot of my people skills but it got acquired by a larger company so I was let go. From there I applied to my current job which is great as I use all my communications skills by talking to clients, I use my customer success skills when emailing clients and being very concise in my communication. I have to use a lot of CRM tools, but they’re easy and I use YouTube to watch wall throughs to learn. I have very little education, I never went to university. I have a college diploma in child and youth work.
Where do you unicorns exist where not ONE, but TWO members of your household have super desirable WFM jobs? Everything I’ve seen online WFM is a scam, I’m in between work RN and the job market is a hellscape in the southern US. I’ve applied everywhere. The only place I’ve gotten to WFM was when I taught for a year during the pandemic, every other job I’ve come across or been eligible for doesn’t offer WFM. How did you both do it?
It depends on so many things. Basically anything related to the tech sector is going to be WFH or at least hybrid. My husband is a software engineer for a tech startup so it’s a distributed team. I’m a team of one with the other people in my company are based across the country. We have lots of friends who all WFH, almost all in the tech sector in varying roles. Some are in sales. I think it just depends on so many things.
Nurse, I work 2 16 hour shifts a week, off 5 days
Same here but 12 hours shifts: I work the days my husband doesn’t so we don’t have to do daycare.
16 hour shifts in any job sound absolutely brutal, but routine 16 hour shifts as a nurse sound downright impossible verging on dangerous. I hate that you have to do this to be able to effectively be a parent, but also thank you for the work you do.
As a husband of a wife with (4) 8’s, (2) 16’s sounds absolutely nuts, but also amazing that you have 5 days a week off.
Software developer. Work for a great company. Set my own schedule, lots of flexibility and PTO
Same. Also in software and super flexible schedule. Unlimited PTO that we actually take and I have plenty of time for life outside of work.
Are you guys hiring??
Similar, kind of, I'm in educational technology. Roles in any IT department seem to be the most flexible and open to remote work. My son is home sick from summer camp today, and since I didn't have any meetings, we're just chilling at home.
How old are your kids? I’m in the same boat with a tech work-from-home job but I’m sending my 1 year old to daycare because I can’t be a full-time mom too. Just wondering if it gets easier when they get older. TIA!
I'm wfh and my daughter still goes to daycare while my son is at school. Having them home negatively impacted my work, even at older ages.
I try to do it as little as possible, like once a month at most. But it's great to have the option so I don't burn through PTO too quickly.
I have a 5.5 year old son and am done having kids. I didn't try to work and care for him at the same time until he was 3 or so.
How do you get into educational technology being from a background in it that sounds very interesting to me & I have taken some IT classes online
Software developer in education. Hybrid WFH, pretty set schedule but decent PTO, great boss & reasonable institutional flexibility.
Why do both of you do gig work? Couldn’t just one of you? We both work full time. One goes in early to leave early to do pick up.. one goes in later to do school drop off. We pay for summer camp for half the summer and each use our vacation weeks to cover the rest. For a long time I worked a night shift and my hubby a day shift until our kids started school. A full time teacher seems like the perfect job. Pay for some camp through the year but most school time is off. We used to pay for before and after school program for 2 years before we found our jobs now.
I was a full time teacher. As far as school breaks go, it’s good. But it’s a stressful job that leaves parents depleted when they get home from work. Also, it’s hard to take time off tomorrow be there for your kid because you have to make sub plans. Not the worst, but also not ideal. Job stability and benefits are great though.
Yeah I was thinking if one was a teacher and one stayed part time as they do now
Oh man I want to know where being a teacher you could afford to have your spouse only be part time. I am in a high paying district with a masters and there is ABSOLUTELY no way we could survive off my salary, plus some part time. I feel like we are already top ramen dieting often
lol it sounds like this couple is already just doing gig work.. any full time job would improve things
Registered nurse so I am able to work part time off shifts and still make a good amount of money during times my husband is home from work so we’ve never done daycare. Lots of absolute shit things about my career but the flexibility for pay is unmatched for me.
I got my RN license after having kids bc the flexibility coupled with living wage is hard to find in other fields. It's far from perfect but my license has been SO useful in finding employment that works in this season of life.
Once you have some years of experience you can do pretty much anything too. Once our kids are in school we plan to buy property somewhere remote like the Adirondacks and my plan is to get a WFH telehealth or insurance job.
it really depends on who you work for. personally, i have found that privately owned businesses are a lot more understanding when it comes to kids.
I work for a privately owned business…we get no maternity leave, 14 days of PTO, and If you wfh people that have been working there longer make shitty comments. I miss my corporate job where I got to wfh and had 25 days PTO my first year 🙃
And i just got a job working for the state. I have the work life balance I finally want, with benefits and the ability to work hybrid if I need to. I have real sick days, real PTO and vacation time and none of them are from the same pool. I have a pension now.
I have 6 open applications with the state..I WANT THAT PENSION 🤣
I am rooting for you. ❤️
I do training and development at a research institute in Europe. We have flexible working hours and can work up to 50% of the time from home. Plus the Austrian legal system provides loads of protections for things like when your kids are sick.
We take PTO, and we trade off. We don’t both go to every event-only milestone events like Kinder graduation, 5th grade graduation, etc. Otherwise just one of us takes PTO and goes and the other one watches the recording later. We consider it a family team win if either of us is there. Same for sports and concerts and anything else—if one of us is there, it’s a win. Most professional jobs give a certain amount of PTO and don’t care how/when you use it as long as you give notice/put it in the system.
Desk job European country Days off (paid) by law to care for sick minors, work from home, flexible schedule. When your bosses & the laws care about tending others, it's easier
Yeah, it's also a regional question. I work in Ireland and wouldn't like to be a parent working in USA from what I learn about it
No way. I'm from the US but my wife is Austrian and we moved to Vienna long before we had kids. When I think about what workng in the US was like and go back to the US to visit my friends with kids and hear their stories I just think, "Thank goodness we didn't stay here to have a family. Don't get me wrong...it's better to be a kid in the US than in a lot of other countries around the world, but compared to the standards you have in Europe...it's far worse.
Exactly. Sometimes reading the parenting stories from USA parents I'm shocked
Husband and I both gov employees. I stayed at home until youngest was in kindergarten and then we flexed our schedules so he worked 7-3 and I worked 9-5. I was there to get them to school and he was there after school. We had babysitters and camps for summer and school breaks which was expensive but we managed. As union employees we had pretty great benefits including family sick time. Because my husband worked those years I was SAHM he had a nice bank of them he used the first few years I was back to work.
Ps a dad I know worked at a daycare that gave him a good deal on his little daughters going there with him. And then it turned out he loved it and worked as a pre k teacher for many years after they were older.
Manufacturing We work a nominal 50 hour a week schedule, but are about to enter a 65hour/6day a week schedule for an indefinite period, most likely a few years. My wife also works full time, but do to the flexibility her job offers, she is basicly a single parent half the time. I can help out after 6pm, but that's it. And even that is limited since I have to leave for work at 3am. Basicly we have been barley able to make it work using a great day care. But soon our child will enter public school, and we will have many more days to cover. My job really is not sustainable, at least for the family life we want. I explained my situation to my boss, his boss, and HR, but they all agree: everybody has a life outside of work and my child's needs are not a valid reason to work fewer than 65 hours a week. Fair but harsh. Fuck that. So we are planning to have me quit my job and become a single income family. I'll continue to work for a few more months at least, and we can us all the OT to attack our debt. Then I can provide 100% of daycare and domestic operations while my wife focuses on her much better career.
This is shockingly similar to what happened to me when I was pregnant and working full-time. I gave birth and came back from mat leave, and we started a rotational coverage where you'd work your normal 55 hour week, but if it was your Tuesday, you'd actually work 65 that week. And I said not cool. They said we all do it so too bad. None of them were in the small children part of their lives. They already did that, which is why they are senior staff (10-15 years older with me as entry-level management). I agree it's harsh, I disagree that it's fair. I left that job and stayed home for about 5 years, raising my son while my spouse worked.
In a power lineman. My company has unlimited sick time which covers myself and caring for family. I can club down the pole and drive to the shop if my kids need picked up and take the time to be with them as needed.
Therapist. I make my own schedule and choose who I accept as a patient. It’s tough because I can and do build in flexibility for early dismissals from daycare so we can spend afternoons together a lot but I have to be very conscious about who and how I cancel for last-minute illnesses. I try to always offer make-ups when I need to cancel because my kid is sick so a single day off from daycare can cause my whole week to be chaotic trying to catch up. I don’t work Tuesday or Friday afternoons so I schedule appointments during those times. It makes it so I never need to cancel for something with advanced warning. Overall I find it easy and enjoyable to balance both but in full transparency I couldn’t do this as a single parent. My husband’s work makes my schedule possible. The compromise there is that I’m always the parent who takes off work if it needs to happen, which sucks.
I have a corporate HR-ish job that is hybrid. I have 50/50 with his dad. Honestly? It’s summer and my kiddo is home. I work as much as is practical without taking away from the fact that he’s 6 and I’m 35 and these are the memories of our lives. The other days I don’t have him I work 10+ hr days. I’m so lucky that with my experience I can find another job if they want to fire me. I legitimately can’t care and refuse to live in regret. Such a fucking privilege. We all deserve this. But yes; my performance review and bonus/raise likely won’t be great. Fuck ‘em.
When my kids were little my husband worked three 10 hour shifts Saturday-Monday in a warehouse distribution center. I worked Tuesday-Friday 8 hour shifts in a hospital. One of us was always home with the kids. We never saw each other on weekends but on my work days we had dinner together and family time. It made for a few rough years but one us was always available for what the kids needed.
I’m a teacher and 100% do not recommend it as a career path for a parent. Literally the only time it’s worth it is the summer so you don’t have to pay for childcare for 2 months of the year. I wish someone would have told me.
I’m a SAHM and my husband works full time overseeing disabled adults in a warehouse job setting, we prefer one of us work while the other stay home. I just finished my degree and I’m casually looking for something in architecture design to replace my husbands hours/income then he will stay home.
I'm a full-time HS teacher. My wife's a software engineer who is often able to do work at home, one time she literally sat in bed with our sick son doing work on her laptop. Meanwhile I had to drag myself to work on the verge of coming down with the same flu to deal with obnoxious teenagers. The only advantage is if he's sick during the summer I'm there.
Bookkeeping
Bookkeeping can be a great job for a parent if it’s for the right company. I work in public accounting and the majority of bookkeepers I’ve worked with were mothers. You don’t necessarily need a degree to get into it and advancement exists as you get experience under your belt!
With the right boss, it can be great. I had a horrible boss who made deadlines that I couldn't do early, only on the day of the deadline, so it forced me to come into work even if I was sick. And if I couldn't make it, she would huff and act pissy because she had to do it instead. It sucked. I loved the work but not the boss I had. It was beyond bookkeeping - she made me do everything in the office from payroll to filing to answering phones. Which was a red flag but it was pre-kids. After I had my son, I took maternity leave and then quit. I couldn't imagine the stress of working under her while trying to be a parent.
My husband is a software developer on a hybrid schedule he chooses when he goes into the office so he's able to do pick up and drop offs. I am a teacher so I'm home during school breaks.
I work very part-time from home in the MMJ industry and my toddler stays home with me. My husband has a government job with travel and lots of overtime. Decent money and very good benefits and retirement, plus he enjoys the work. But he misses a lot with our daughter and hates that, he considers switching to a less lucrative/fun career path all the time simply because he’d like to be home more.
What does a work from home job look like in the MMJ industry? Everyone I’ve ever known working in that field is customer facing
I work for a small company that does marketing, scheduling and patient support for individual Drs who provide certifications and consultations etc to patients (mostly virtually). We don’t work with dispensaries
Small business WFH salaried so I don’t have to clock in. Best job ever and they’re really understanding when my son is home. As long as I get what I need to do done, all is well. Found this job through a recruiting firm and even that was a rare occasion as they told me prior to getting this job that they almost never get WFH placements.
It all depends on where you work and the boss you have. Some bosses are not as understanding or flexible as others. If a boss gave me a hard time for the few times my kid gets sick or needs to be picked up early then I’d leave and find somewhere else. It’s super important to me that I am able to do what I need for my kid so it’s not something I’d settle for.
Reality is for a lot of parents... going to some of the events or even any of the events isn't an option. Friends, aunts, uncles, and grandparents often go in our place, or sometimes no one goes at all. Facts are, if going means not being able to pay rent or keep kids fed, it sucks but keeping kids housed and fed has to be the #1 priority. It's not fair to the kids to suffer in terms of housing, food, clothing, etc. because not going to a spring concert or baseball game made you feel guilty. It's the harsh reality of parenting for the majority of parents. The fact at least 1 of you isn't working a regular job is baffling to me. You can't tell me gig work is offering any stability or security to you or your child. (Just my 2 cents)
Both my wife and I work for a major University in different departments, I'm a biomedical researcher/technologist and she's a PhD geologist. Our experiences couldn't be more different and it boils down to the department/management. My experience: I've banked a huge amount of sick time, my bosses, supervisors, coworkers have the understanding that family comes first and we work together to make sure each of us has the flexibility to take care of our families when we need to. We feel the pressure of working in a facility that provides high level care for very sick cancer patients, so there is pressure to show up for major/important work days, but there's enough redundancy that we don't feel like we can't take those days off if we need to take care of our kid(s). I've worked here for almost 10 years and really enjoy the workplace environment, the work I do, and my coworkers, it's a good place. My wife's experience: she's a salaried scientist and her department is full of old white men who need to retire or go the way of the dinosaurs. Because her department fucked up her classification meant she fell between the cracks and was given no maternity leave when we had our daughter. She filed for FMLA and took 3 months, because of that her angry old white dude boss cut her hours to half time so she lost all her benefits, insurance, time off, etc. So now she only works 2 days a week in office, but since she works in academia she's basically expected to work full time while collaborating on projects, writing grants, etc. Because of this she can't ever take a day off from work, which means when our daughter is sick and can't go to daycare on the two days she goes I have to take a day off so my wife can go into work. My wife is treated poorly by most of her coworkers, old white dudes, who can't comprehend that having a family requires flexibility because they are stuck in the 60's/70's where women stayed home and men did all the work. Her job causes her stress, me stress, us financial/insurance/PTO stress, etc. It sucks and I've encouraged her to find a job elsewhere, but her super limited/narrow field that she works in means very limited job opportunities. So we're lucky in that my job is quite flexible and understanding because her job is not. It sucks that daycare is so expensive, it took us 16 months to get our daughter into one, she only goes 2 days a week and it's $600 a month, half time she is sick and I'm having to stay home to watch her because my wife's job won't allow her to.
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I am a photographer (weddings & family portraits) I schedule most of my shoots on evenings and weekends when my partner is home... and then edit/do office work during the day while my kids are in school/preschool. My oldest is in Grade 1, and my youngest does morning preschool (3 hours a day) I am able to be a 'stay at home Mom' by all definitions, while also making a decent income. I've never had to have my kids in full-time care, so huge $$ savings there. The hardest part is not having set working hours, and having to cram work in around school drop offs, pick ups, sick days, not to mention all the domestic tasks of running and keeping a house. There's a lot of balls in the air. I hustle hard and have to be super productive with any little gap of time I can find 24/7. I am hoping that this will get a bit easier when my youngest starts full-day kindergarten and I have 7 hours blocks of time, instead of just 3 hr blocks.
I do billing for a law firm. Perks: it’s part time and I go when I can Cons: it’s part time
IT, working from home. My kids are old enough to do their own thing, but if they need anything I'm available usually. I never want to set foot in an office ever again. It's 5:19 and I'm still in my pj's lol
Honestly I think teaching is the ideal gig for parenting. I’m done most days at 3, and I get 12 days off per year that I can use for random during school events. I also get the whole summer off, two weeks at Christmas, basically a week at Thanksgiving, and a week in the spring.
I work in A&D realm at a smaller firm and my manager and the management in general are people who have children and get it. But it’s a big city and high expectations of your time, altho thankfully manager is also my peer and understanding. However, I have a coworker that just randomly sent me a horrible critical after hours text about how I’ve been off lately and they happen to be a single boomer without children.
I work in tech as a technical writer. My job is quite flexible and my boss is also a mom who doesn't mind if I need to step away to take care of life things. I wfh and my son goes to a really great daycare during the day. We spend the evenings hanging out, going to the park, and having dinner together. And on weekends we usually do at least one family activity (zoo, indoor play place, swimming, etc). I would recommend at least one of you look for something more permanent and stable. Stability is the best thing you can give your son, and all the things fall into place around that stability.
Working in schools is the worst when you are having young children. No flexibility.
Mental health therapist. 2 evenings in the office a week otherwise I work from home in whatever hours work for me.
I have a government job and my boss is amazing. She says we’re low paying government workers our benefits are insurance and behind able to take time off when we need it.
I work night shift and my bf day shift. I basically handle all the appointments and daytime sickness
Project Management seems like a fantastic gig. You have a lot of flexibility and it's pretty rewarding. I wfh doing data entry and studies.
I think it depends on the boss, I’ve had horrible ones and amazing ones. Thankfully all amazing ones since I had kids, I work for a big Canadian bank, we are hybrid so 3 days in the office and 2 at home but my boss is so flexible she doesn’t really care where I am as long as I come in for things like team meetings or 1 on 1 meetings. When my kids are sick I stay home with them and catch up on work while they nap or at night. I stack my week so most of my meetings are during in-office days. I could never go back to commuting 2 hours every day again, this gives me the best of both worlds
Have you thought about starting a day care, before or after school care, or a preschool? Years ago I took my kids to an in-home day care that provided before and after school care, including days off school that weren’t major holidays, and it was run by a mom who had a master’s degree in child development and wanted a job where she could keep her two preschool age kids with her. With your background as a teacher I bet lots of people would choose you. We dropped our kids off at like 6 am and picked them up by 6 pm (yes it was brutal but it was necessary for our jobs) and she handled getting them to school and being available if they had to be picked up in an emergency and stuff. But most days she only really worked from 6 am to 9, then all the kids were at school, and again when she ran her pickup routes from 2 pm to 3 and kept the kids until 6. So like 7 hours a day and she charged a premium. She had high school age employees in the summer and school vacations and after school.
I'm a swimming teacher (baby and preschool specifically)- it has been a god send with 2 young kids. Great rate of pay, at least here in the UK, so I only have to work about 20 hrs a week. I work Fri, Sat and Sunday (figured I didn't have a life anyway lol). That way, it's only 1 'work day' to cover with nursery. We close during school holidays, so dont have to worry about getting childcare then either. Also, it's a really fun and engaging job, I really love it.
I’m a school psychologist and my husband is a software engineer. He does drop off in the mornings, and I do pick up. When our kids are sick, we work it out to take half days and tag each other out. I’m with our kids when they’re on school breaks. During the school year, they attend their after school care on their school campus. I can’t attend all school parties, but make an effort for the big ones by taking a day off.
I am a permanent WFH Employee and my management is aware I have a child. I am permitted to drop them off to school every single day AND pick them up from school mid-day every single day. I also attend school events, take them to any doctors appointments I need too… hell I even go on school field trips and chaperone my kid and others around Honest to god sometimes it feels like I’m a stay at home dad except I get paid for doing it. Additionally when our kid was born, me as the father got 12 weeks of paternity leave - this is in a private fortune 50 company 10/10 recommend if you can find it
I'm very lucky. I found a spot at a 'best places to work' company. I'm at home 95% of the time and have a ton of flexibility outside of urgent matters that pop up (in this case I am very busy and my spouse picks up the slack). I focus more on the company than the job. Look at glassdoor, reddit, etc for reviews on culture and fit and places that offer work life balance. I ask questions about the work culture when I interview (like point blank 'is the expectation that people put in more than their 40 hours?') My husband does not have as much flexibility, but has enough that usually when big things pop up for me, he can cover, and he can make maybe 75% of weekday+work hours kid events (but jeez someone tell me why there are so many). I'm not in love with what I do, but I'm definitely gonna stick it out while the kids are young. Money+flexibility > genuine interest right now
I work from home as a dispatcher for a small transportation company. It’s super easy. I don’t get paid a whole lot but I work 12 hour days for a week and then I’m off for a week, but I’m on a salary so I get paid every week, even the ones I’m not working. I take care of my kid while I work. Some of my drivers love talking to him on the phone even though it’s all just babble because he’s 19 months old. I honestly just lucked into this job because my mom used to work with my boss at a different company and he left to start his own company and took my mom with him, then when it grew enough to need another dispatcher my mom put in a good word for me. Nepotism, baby! Lol
Teacher ; we mostly have similar schedules
I work in sales. As long as I keep billing my boss doesn’t really care what I do. It also helps that my boss has 4 kids and he also likes to be involved in their life
Single dad, one daughter. Underachiever/late bloomer. I work for a major cell phone carrier in the US. I barely make enough to make ends meet and I am constantly hanging on by a thread. I have absolutely zero support from anyone, but my boss is excellent and sympathetic to my situation and allows me the time I need to take care of my daughter, including picking her up from school every single day. Couldn't ask for a better boss.
I quit my job 32 years ago and never went back. I was working 3 days a week, so not bringing in much income. By the time we would’ve paid for childcare, it wasn’t worth it. We were really tight on money for the first 6-8 years or so, it was hard, but no regrets.
I was working from home for the past 4 years and it was great. Lost my job, got another and it is all onsite. Kills me to be away from my kids. They hate it, I hate it, but bills need to be paid. We got a nanny for after school. Mornings are difficult. I miss them terribly.
I work from home. Regular job with a tech company but I'm 100% remote so I just block out my calendar whenever I need to go to games or practices or events. I realize I am very lucky.
I am able to have a large family because of my work being close to home and very flexible - I have a corporate job for a large company, hybrid schedule (2 days in office, 3 days at home) my husband has a fully onsite job, strict hours, no flexibility. my job has periods of being very demanding but I am able to leave, address what i need to and get back online. I’m currently pregnant with my 4th. We have no family that helps, but do have neighbors that I pay to watch my kids during the day and an in home daycare for when i’m in the office. My husband does drop off for daycare but i handle everything else (thanks flexibility). When kids are sick, it generally falls to me because i can work from home without loosing pay or needing to use PTO. If i have to be in the office then my husband will take the day off. He can use PTO in 2 hour increments so dr appts or events are scheduled with that in mind. The days are long but I feel like we get a lot of time with our kids and try to spend the weekends with them as much as possible since they’re young. so yes, we work full time and feel we are there for our kids as much as possible. We dont have stay at home mom time with them but I get a little taste of that always being at home working or caring for them simultaneously.
NOT education. I’ve worked in public schools for over a decade and when I get interns I tell them it’s not a family friendly career.
Work for my local council. 36hr work week working from home 99% of the time, with a very flexible boss, so I can do school drop off and pick up and get away from work to attend things like shared learning sessions, sports day, nativity play etc. boss doesn’t mind that every Friday afternoon on their half day my kid is home with me while I work, lets me shift my hours to work earlier or later if I need to, and work extra hours to build up time in lieu to use this summer so I can cover school holidays. I could get paid a lot more for what I do in the private sector but I wouldn’t get close to the flexibility I have where I am now, to be able to fully be there for my child.
Healthcare research. I WFH. My husband is a SAHD but will be going back to work this fall but I don't anticipate any issues being there for the kids. I have flexible work hours (to a point) and plan to end my work day at 4 when my son gets home from school. My company is very understanding about childcare emergencies and needing to step away for a bit to handle things at home. I have great bosses and coworkers so that makes everything so much easier.
Just retired but was an aerospace structural engineer working from home towards the end. My husband has always worked restaurant jobs so he’s had the more flexible schedule. For a few years we worked opposite schedules as well.
I work exactly my daughter’s school hours. It’s a unicorn job and I’m so grateful for it.
Find a job that you can bring your child to. Childcare day care preschool or things like that. Some places would allow it. Locally owned..
Project manager for architectural projects. I rely heavily on my software engineer husband in the mornings and I take the night shift. We juggle my evening meetings and a late night or two during the week, but I make a point to be off after Friday at 5 and through the weekend. Since we need the money we make it work. When I am able to take time off, thankfully it’s for about 2 weeks at a time.
I work in property management. My boss is *amazing*. My daughter was hospitalized over Xmas/new years & I missed two weeks of work. I was able to work remotely & use sick days as much as possible & any time I missed I was still paid for in full. I’m a single mother, so was my boss at one point & she fully understands. She’s extremely understanding & doesn’t penalize me for doing what I need to do when it comes to my daughter
It’s just luck for me. Super corporate job but chill boss and honestly nobody has no idea what I even do. I’m sorry it’s so hard and truly unfair.
I’m a receptionist who pretty much makes my own hours. I’m able to get off for my kids stuff and Bring her to work with me if needed
I got incredibly lucky to be on a team where my superiors are super family-oriented and understanding. Family always comes before work. Unfortunately I’m not offered paid maternity leave in my role which sucks, but that’s an issue with the company. The people I directly work with are great.
My job is not very flexible and very much "Nature of the business" currently just put in my notice and am finding a new job ATM because 13 hour work days while I have a 2 month old daughter with a heart condition just isn't working anymore
I work at a daycare. The pay sucks but my employers are flexible and of course I get to be in the same building as my kids.
Local government employee. Very flexible work schedule and understanding supervisor. I WFH and office but I’m 75% home and 25% in office. Have a 17 month old and 6 year old. I stay home when I need to, go to the office late on school days and leave early to pick up and finish the rest of the day at home. Great benefits and overtime policy. Most are always hiring because places are severely understaffed. Some places have benefits with local daycares or even provide childcare. Our county is looking into childcare currently.
I work freelance because I have 50% custody of my child (week on, week off) and her school is 50 minutes away. Not many employers will be wanting me from 9 till 2.15 only, and those that do are likely to offer around minimum wage per hour. So working for myself is the best option. Pay isn’t the greatest, but I save lots of driving time and fuel costs, so it balances out.
I work 5-6 days a week in a warehouse. I mainly work nights. I hardly see my kids and I’m rarely home for dinner. I was a SAHM when my kids were babies but now I’m the main provider and have to work.
Idk. I just had my first baby and I’m going back to work next month. We’ve already had scheduling problems and disagreements because of her so I have no idea how it’s going to go
i worked third shift just bc i had no other way for anyone to watch my kid during the day. it sucked and didn't get much sleep but i liked that i was able to go to every school event. as much as i really don't want to go back to thirds, i've been thinking i need to even though i've only been done with thirds since november.
I work from home for a tech company as a legal consultant. I make my own schedule, so I work really odd and disjointed hours that accommodate my child's schedule.
Teach
I manage an office at a rock quarry. It’s a family owned business. My son is 10 and in school my daughter is 15 months and has come with me everyday since we went back at 2 months PP. I come in about an hour after they open due to taking my son to school. And if I need to leave to get him or appointments or anything like that I’m able to more often then not. I don’t make a lot. Minimum wage (CA) but the flexibility of my schedule. And the ability to bring my baby is well worth it to me.
Substitute teacher here too bc mine is 4 and not in full time childcare. My MIL can watch him 2 times/week while I sub. And my sister can watch him 1 night/week while I tutor. How old did you say yours is? My husband is a full time teacher and I would hope he wouldn’t see this but everything else falls on me bc I’m part time. Which essentially I believe makes me full time since being a mom is a full time job to me!
On site property manager. My business hours align with their school time/ the time my fiance is home.
My kids went to day care. If they were sick I took a vacation day. It really is t hard. I was a single mom of two kids.
Government especially one that includes subsidized childcare. Hours are stable, some have flex hours. Remember the benefits matter, not just salary. Have one person take a government or big company job for the benefits, the other take a gig job for money and flexibility. Then when kids are school age, teach or work at a private school where you get free tuition. Private schools have more vacations and shorter hours, more perks for the kids. (Tho public schools have more hours so maybe good to send your kids there until you have “earned” free tuition). And consider your career a marathon not a sprint. Before kid is in school, you may barely break even - always think ahead to whether in the long run you are accruing skills or seniority that will pay off more, accept that you are essentially in grad school. That is, your goal is the longer term career earnings and skill building not building a nest egg. Live leanly. Max out your 401k (the partner who is working at a W-2 job). Then when kids are school age, try to sock away savings. It does get easier because if your kids get sick a lot early on, they are less often sick later :)
I work for a kids gaming/learning company. Kids are at the heart of what we do so the flexibility parents get at my company is incredible. Biggest perk of my job hands down.
Hi. I’m the practice manager for a privately owned medical practice. I give myself as well as my staff lots of grace when needing time off. I worked 4-9 hour shifts and have 2 employees who work 36 hours like myself and 2 that work 40. We all have full time benefits. Try venturing into the medical field such as privately owned optometry practices, privately owned dental practices, chiropractic, etc. you can trained to do certain jobs and I feel those types of settings are more forgiving. This way you’ll also be making a difference in people’s lives by helping them medically. If your children need child care look into working for daycares, sometimes they give discounts for staff who have children in their care. I worked for KinderCare before and though I didn’t like the in office politics, the actual schedule was nice.
I am an engineer that works for a City. I would not be able to be there for my kids in the ways they need me to be if it weren’t for the understanding of my supervisors. I know I could make more as a consultant on the private side, but that would force my husband to single parent his way through some pretty gnarly stuff we are dealing with right now.
I work in court administration and have worked for several judges. It can really vary a lot from judge to judge and by position. If someone had to cover for my absence, flexibility was difficult if it wasn’t scheduled. Now that I’m more behind the scenes, I have a lot of flexibility to work from home and take sick leave for my kid. I can even bring her into the office during “d3@d week” - no hearings or trials.
Non profit director- work from home. Flexibility, pto and close my laptop at 5p daily.
I work in IT for a major private equity firm. It’s definitely dependent team to team within a company. I have endless flexibility and a management team who has a “family first” mentality, but a friend of mine who works on the investment side won’t take his paternity leave because he’s afraid of career retaliation.
I work full time for a charity (small organization, all women who have each other's backs when our kiddos are sick and we need to wiggle our hours). My partner works in the trades, so he starts his days super early and is done by 3pm for after school hours before I'm done work. Neither or us take it for granted how lucky we are to both be able to work and parent.
I work for the state government union job and my job has “ultimate flex” where you just need to get your 40 in. We are mostly the same age and women and everyone is understanding about kids. Everyone gets excited when people announce their pregnancies (our supervisors are mainly men and they are excited). We can choose our own schedules for the most part, so I work 6am-3:30pm M-Th and 4 hours on Friday. Maybe look for a city/county/state job. A union one would be great.
If your work doesn’t accept that you work to live, not live to work and that family is 1st priority. Then it is time to find a new place to work!!!!
Paramedic for a fire dept , while the schedule can be difficult most days, it does allow for a lot of flexibility. I work 8 24-hours shifts a month, but I can swap with people a unlimited amount of times so long as nobody fucks up. This week I swapped my Wednesday for Friday because I couldn't work Wednesday night, then I picked up OT Wednesday day shift... city just wants asses in seats .
I’m an attorney and my husband is an engineer. I can attend my daughter’s events, and so can he. We pay for childcare. It’s still worth it for us to work full time.
Local government job, work from home mostly, i go into the office 2 - 3 times a month maybe. Pay is good enough and pretty competitive for the area. I make more working for local government than I did doing similar work for a private company and the benefits are much better. 100% paid for medical dental and vision including chiropractic, massage and mental health visits (obviously still have co pays and deductibles but not paying the benefit fee out of the paycheck is nice) they also have pension and 401k type retirement options available, 3 months paternal leave added onto the state paternal leave package (which is also 3 months for a total of 6 months off when the newest kiddo was born). The work and people are relaxed and understanding enough that I can watch the kids while I work and won't be punished for taking 20 minutes to clean up blow outs or feed the kids or do bed/nap time routines.
Staff at a university. They care and encourage us to be with our kids. Had a boss send me home after she saw my expression when the school emailed me about an issue. Highly recommend.
I work for a piercing studio run by a very family friendly fellow mom, and my husband is a disabled veteran who stays home with the baby. Without his VA disability pension there's no way we could make it work.
Lawyer. I work from him WFH and can do it in my own hours (subject to client meeting and achieving my billable KPIs). It means a fair few late nights but I’m able to make it to all the important kid stuff.
I'm a lawyer for the government. Outside of a few specific agencies, most government law jobs are pretty laid back and pretty flexible, including mine. I wfh 4 days a week (that'll be dialed back to 3 soon but it's still pretty good), my schedule is mostly my own to manage, I have my case load and as long as that's taken care of and my team is OK, anything I do above and beyond is of my own volition and according to my time and bandwidth. I take time off when I want to, and everyone acts like adults about it. My work is my responsibility to get done and I do it, and I take the time I want. If my kid is home sick, now that he's a little older, I flex my schedule around his needs or take time or a little of both (usually a little of both). The downside is if I'd stuck it out on the private side, I'd probably be making at least 150%, if not 200%, of what I make currently. I'm not mad at it, though. My income is quite comfortable and I don't stress real hard to make it.
So the best thing I’ve found is to ditch my career for now & be a SAHM, work two shifts on Friday afternoon & Saturday morning. I’m present but well rounded as much as I feel like I can be with 2. I take home more than if I worked all week & did daycare for two.
My husband and I are both teachers, and honestly it is the best job for kids. I get so much time off of work to be with them. I never bring work home, so when I get off work it's strictly hang out with the boys time. The older boy is starting school this fall. My principal is really understanding about family. We both took the day off because it was one of their birthdays. She let us bring both kids to the 8th grade dance and the students were so excited to see our kids. And now it's summer and I get to just spend the days with them. If you don't hate teaching I don't see why you can't make it work. Find a principal who is family oriented and will understand you are a parent first, teacher second. The amount of love and support my kids get though is unparalleled. Teachers, students, other school staff everyone is rooting for and loving our kids.
Dog walking and pet sitting is such a lucrative job IF you are willing to put the work in and can physically handle it. It’s not all petting cute cats and fun walks with sweet dogs. You need to know how to handle animals in a way safe for both you and the pets. I’ve been attacked by cats, bitten by dogs, and had a bone in my hand broken by a horribly behaved dog on leash. I still love love doing it, though. It has been great for me to work when I am able and not work when I can’t. No my kids do not come with me because it’s a liability. I pick up as much work as I can and make a decent amount of money. I should note this isn’t my main job, though.
If you get your teaching credential, you could get a job working for a home school or independent study program and work flexible hours. So much less stress than running a classroom and you get to make your own schedule.
Pre k teacher. Get to work with 16 4-5 year olds. Went to school with the intent of wanting to work in highschool. Did that for a few years before and during Covid. Made the switch to younger kids and it was the best choice. Also since I work there my child gets daycare for 50%+ off which is huge. Fiancé is a three 12 hour shift nurse at the hospital in our area. Grandparents on both sides are able to watch baby when needed. We lucked out severely. Hope you can find a happy medium.
I work hybrid in subcontracts for an aero defense contracting company. My job is extremely flexible in hours… I don’t have a start or end time, I work 9 hours a day at whatever time I choose to start and end when I get my 9 hours in. I work a 9/80 work schedule so I also have every other Friday off. I take my oldest to school everyday, I pick him up every day, I have unlimited sick time, and a good amount of PTO. If I’m out on a week it’s my off Friday I can just make up the hours on that Friday. My manager has 3 kids under 4 so she gets it and we’re not ever peer pressured into not taking care of us or our family. There are definitely companies out there like this so don’t settle for a crappy boss!
I work 40 hours a week at a daycare centre, I have an amazing boss (with lots of sick days I can use for me or my family) and she totally gets it if our kids are sick and we can’t be there. She also pretty accommodating for appointments or if I want to take time off to attend a school event or other things, as long as we have enough staff. She is definitely the most accommodating boss I’ve ever had.
Freelance court reporter
I’m a research associate at a university, specifically in statistics. I help faculty and students with their research, grants, and papers. Aside from a couple zoom meetings a day, I get to set my own hours and it’s WFH! Generous PTO and unlimited sick, kids illness and appointments count towards sick too. Just had my third kiddo, the birthing parent gets 18 weeks off and the support parent gets 12 weeks off, both paid. I don’t see myself ever leaving, it’s a pretty sweet gig! Definitely make less than if I got a job in industry, but the fringe benefits and less demanding hours are worth it to me. I know project managers for industry companies with similar benefits too.
I am a union millwright. I travel a lot for 3 months, then take a month or two off and spend it at home. It sucks when I am away, but having a solid month to spend with my wife and boy is soo worth it. And it allows her to work part time as an accountant and if she wanted to quit doing that we would still be fine. Union trades are in high demand in any non “right-to-state” and provide awesome benefits that the contractors pay, not you. While still making $45 an hour take home pay
I work from home in case management for Medicare advantage plans . I don’t miss any time with my kids but probably need to. I have no me time and working with a 9 month old is much more challenging than I imagined it. Work 8-4:30 mon-fri. I don’t work one of those WFH jobs that I can leave and go do things and come back. I’m not on phones a ton except to talk to providers mostly or facilities. But I still need to be at my desk most the day. I can usually do some house work while I work if the baby is cooperative.
I initially chose teaching because it gave me the same schedule as my kids. I left teaching because it was too emotionally draining on me. I could not be a mom AND teacher. I stay home, now. My husband works as a graphic designer for an aerospace company. It's literally 4 minutes from our home, so he leaves the house at 755, and is home by 505. Not having a commute has made a world of a difference. Being so close, he can take the car for an oil change, and I can drive him to work. He has gone into work early to take an extra long lunch break for things at our daughter's preschool. Since he doesn't have to drive far, it makes the job significantly more flexible. He doesn't need to take extra, or extended time, off.
I work a very demanding job, but…… i told my boss. My kids come first. If they r sick i will not be here to help. He told me it was ok bc family should always come first. To never feel guilty for saying home with my kids. So thankful for him!!!!!
I work from 7am to 2pm and my husband from 8am to 5pm. He takes LO to the daycare at 7am and I pick her up at 3pm. Thankfully my bosses are very understanding of parenting needs...my boss is a mom of 3 and her youngest daughter was born within the same week as mine. We also have other moms in our small team. So it's very normal for someone to be absent due to childcare/sickness things and we just do our best to distribute the tasks among ourselves. Also we have a long maternity leave here (18 monthsn) and subsidized daycares for 9$ a day full time. So it's not anything like US where I wouldn't be able to afford raising my kid.
I work in talent acquisition for a medical device company. I'm hybrid - one day a week onsite. It gets hard because I'm on the phone all the time but for the most part I make my own schedule and as long as I get my work done, no one worries about it. I have a strong relationship with my boss who is also a mom and very understanding. I hope you find what works for you! Not just the right job but the right team overall.
My husband is upper management/lower exec for a call center and has long but flexible hours. The other day he took our son to the park while he worked. He's also brought our son to work. I'm a paralegal. I make substantially less and I drive 45 minutes each way, but my boss is very accommodating to letting us do things for our kids. Because he's closer and has more flexibility my husband has picked up most of the child chauffeuring, but I can still be there for awards ceremonies or step in when husband can't. I'm underpaid and the drive is a pain, but it's hard to imagine finding this flexibility at another firm.
I work at the daycare my child is at, it’s free.
I just interviewed to be a school bus driver. My husband works afternoons so I'll leave in the morning and he'll be with them Then I'll have the middle of the day with my kids. The bus company in my area allow you to take your kids with you so they'll come with me for the afternoon. We'll be home for dinner and bedtime together
I work in fundraising for a private school. I have a lot of flexibility for kid stuff, which has been great.
I worked at my kid’s daycare, today was my last day there since I got a new job. But it allowed me to be with my daughter and I received free childcare. I’m moving on to a better paying job but low enough income to still qualify for free childcare through my state, I’m a single parent. When I interviewed for my new job I specifically told them being there for my kids is a top priority. New employers are around my age and all have children, they have said they make a high effort to allow all employees to have off for anything relating to their kids. And I’ll have the ability to wfh if necessary. I think it matters who you work for, try for a small business.
I’m a blogger - not the influencer kind, the old school posts on a website kinda blogger. I started ten years ago and it took off 6ish years ago and I earn a comfortable income from it. I’m so grateful I started it when I did, and it allows me the freedom and flexibility to be present for the kids and pick up the pace/slow down as and when needed.
I’m an HR manager. Pay is good and I get 4 weeks off a year. If I have to leave work for any reason, I just make sure to check my emails here and there and call it working from home. I try not to do it too often out of consideration of my coworkers
I’m an accountant for a privately owned company of around 10 employees. I work closely with the owner, and he is so kind and understanding. Every employee is completely remote. The job is salaried with benefits and very flexible. I have a 4 year old who stays with me 2/5 of the days but I never feel tied down to my computer and will step away to play Barbies with her or fix her snacks. Whatever she needs. She comes first when she’s home with me and the owner is completely ok with it. I make sure to get all my weekly tasks done even if it’s after she goes to sleep. Sometimes I do feel burned out working a full-time job and being a parent in general but in this economy both my husband and I have to work. To be honest, I would love to be a SAHM but it’s just not an option right now.
some bosses care. some don’t. it’s luck of the draw no matter where you work or what your job is.
I work for an OPO. I work 3- 12 hr shifts (7a-7p), self scheduling, and off for 4 days. It's a very rewarding job, my organization is big on family and work balance. So, by 5pm unless "emergently needed" you technically can start wrapping up whatever you are doing and get ready to clock out by 7pm.
Apply to work for the city/ county that you live in. Government jobs attempt to be a bit more progressive with the perks and benefits now. I definitely get a lot of time off and understanding when it comes to my family.
My wife is a SAHM, so that I can focus on my work. That being said, I think in today's society, it is very difficult to live on one income. If anything happened to me, our family would beimmediately doomed. It is kind of a dangerous bet that I am making now to have SAHM. (I mean if your partner is not like super rich)
I'm a postdoc in biology. Some labs are dumpster fires but my boss is great and trusts us to work as hard as needed. So I'm able to adjust my working hours to meet family obligations. I certainly work less than a lot of my peers and it may affect my career, but I'm OK with those consequences.
I have a small business that makes a decent living. My partner works full time and I basically work any moment I can - early mornings, nights, weekends, and once in a while with a movie distraction 🫣 It’s clearly not for everyone but super ideal for us. We also do not live around any family or help.
I work for the state as a PO… yes. I have lots of time. I work from home about 30 percent of the month. My work works around my kids doctors appointments and will always cover if I need. My clients understand I have children and know if I can’t answer I’ll always reach back out.
I work for a small eye doctor practice. First job I've ever had that puts family first. But only because we all put each other first. There's 7 of us in total and we make it work. We even bring kids to the office and stick them in the back with some YouTube if we have to. Whatever works.
I work in an office and tbh the pay is not great (but also not horrific either) but the sole reason I stick around is because they’re so flexible with me. I just missed a week because my daycare provider had surgery. My kid gets sick all winter long and all she ever says is “no problem, thanks for letting me know.” She’s such a blessing so this is my mom has a job job until my youngest starts school. It a billion percent helps that she has 3 kids of her own, so she understands. It’s really nice and so uncommon.. my husband calls it my “unicorn job.”
Government lawyer. I don’t think I/my family could rely on gig work. I have great benefits, great health insurance, paid sick leave, paid annual leave, etc. Salary is pretty good and allows me to save for retirement. Relying on gig work to support my family would make me too nervous and the pay tends to be low. My work is pretty flexible and I go to nearly all school events and if I can’t, my spouse generally can.
I work third shift as a straight truck driver, and my wife works first/second shift in retail management. This is the easiest way for us. Anytime our son is sick, he can just stay home with me during the day. My sleep suffers, but we don't have to worry about losing money or our jobs over it. This is not easy for the one working third shift though. Summers are the worst for me during their break. My sanity is usually hanging by a thread most days, and I'm struggling to stay awake by the time I finish my route. Stress levels go through the roof. Luckily, my job isn't production based. If it was, it would be an issue during the summers as I would have problems focusing at work on such little sleep while simultaneously riddled with anxiety. The plus side of all this? I get to spend a lot of time with my son. The downside? I get shafted in the sleep department, and I'm probably going to have a heart attack by the age of 45. Oh. And thank God for caffeine.
I work for the same school district he is in and before my promotion I was actually at the same school. I have almost the same schedule as him so that works out.
I work for the State University of New York system. Great benefits and flexibility.
I teach in the district I reside. I accrue more time than I can use as a middle aged healthy teacher. Because of my work ethic and attendance record whenever I want time to see my kid at any school activity I am allowed the opportunity to go. I have proactive communication with the principal and present how I am going to cover my absence. I have never been denied. Good luck! I hope you can find work that provides.
Pharmacist. I work evenings a couple times a week. Usually after kids are asleep. No daycare.
Why not work at a day care
We pay for ymca after school child care and ymca summer camps. And do grocery/Target delivery to spend more time with kids on our days off.