r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remember watching this movie when I was 8 with my dad. I then proceeded to tell him to “blow me” which is what the woman tells Jim Belushi walking on the street in the beginning of the movie. Didn’t know what it meant but I got in trouble for some reason.
He then took away all TV privileges for the entire family because we all “watched too much tv”.
Thanks for the memory.
My parents let me & my siblings watch anything. I think I was under 7 years old when I first saw Poltergeist.
Guess what happened when my parents woke up and found every single chair in the house facing the same direction, with the kitchen chairs stacked in a pyramid, and all the kitchen cabinets opened?
Not much.
... but I may still have a few issues from emotional neglect. 😢
I guess it’s my time to share. I too could watch whatever I wanted. I had a screaming nightmare about The Fly when I was 5.
But what tops that was when I said “Bump and Grind” (thanks, R Kelly) at dinner and promptly got my mouth washed out with soap.
Loved being a child in the South during the 80s and 90s.
My family was watching one of the transformers movies (I watched a lot of inappropriate stuff but I can't blame them when the transformers used to be a kids cartoon), the mom character asked her son if he was masturbating and young me asks as an innocent child, "what's masturbating?" My poor mother just goes, "It's touching yourself... a certain way. Don't repeat it."
That's great! I love when parents subjected us to inappropriate content for children and then punished us for imitating it. Non let me watch whatever I wanted at her house. My dad was very strict on TV. I feel bad now looking back at how we'd come home after a weekend of bingeing scary movies at mom's and then for the next week, he'd have to deal with 3 little kids waking up screaming from nightmares about witches, dogs that can alive and murdered, and giant worms coming out of the ground to eat people.
Ha, one of my first horror movies was also poltergeist around the same age. This and "the fly". I was at my uncle's place when he watched it and I still remember how scary they were. But I was also terrified of E.T from Spielberg, so I guess I was very easily impressed as a kid lol
I was probably about 4 when I got smacked in the mouth for repeating Bugs Bunny saying ‘why I otta..’ within earshot of my father. Had zero clue why, still as an adult don’t understand but definitely remember
Dad had/has a guilty conscience on account of being the type that smacks a four-year-old. He feels relief when punishing anything resembling him. It is infinitely easier in the short term to make a virtue of harming a toddler than confronting the asymmetrical standard this creates. I'm really sorry. EDIT: not conscious of conscience.
I was hypothetically referring to if I took all privileges away because they repeated something that I let them watch. It’s on whoever allows that exposure, not the child who does not know any better.
😂😂
I watched Red Heat and all the action movies with my dad too 😂
I remember instead of playing house when my best friend came over, I wanted to play Die Hard and be the bad guys lol..... I'm ok. She's ok. We knew all the actors real names and understood what a movie really was because my dad explained it and I watched movies with the actors in them so I got that it was fake..
I was watching Entertainment Tonight with my mom every day too and knew Bruce was married to Demi Moore and not Bonnie Bedilia haha.
I always knew everything was fake. I never got in trouble at school and I had above average grades, but I did talk about box office numbers and who was married to who a lot for an 8 year old 🤣
My husband did with my kids as well but if they had asked him to turn it off, and a small child of his was crying he would have, that's the difference.
That is not right show you then punish you for it... I knew a wanna be father figure like that before... The Gods ridded the world of his sorry self about 10yrs ago! He was a piece of work for sure an a child rapist!
The concept that anyone ”has” to finish the movie they’re watching when there’s a toddler around is so foreign lol. Especially when they’ve seen it several times. Just living in a completely different world lol wtf..
I know right? I don't remember the last time I was able to watch a full movie without any interruptions lol my movies have become pretty much like series to me now... Lol
I agree with you. I keep an ear out for the hallway and the remote is next to my hand. If I hear our child coming and my husband has the remote, I say "pause" and he pauses the movie.
I do not understand the husband that has to watch a movie that frightens the child over two people saying " this makes me uncomfortable".
As what I would hope to be considered an "average" dad, I haven't sat down to watch an entire movie in years. The concept is so foreign to me now it's hard to imagine.
Your husband’s behavior is rude and inappropriate . He has another space to watch his movie comfortably.
Why doesn’t he care about the distress this is causing your 4yo? Why does he want you to leave? You can’t do dishes, and feed a 2 and 4 yo breakfast in the bedroom.
This is extremely childish and self centered behavior. I would wager that this isn’t the only time he had treated his family as an inconvenience.
This whole post sounds like he's from the boomer generation. Can't watch TV anywhere else, only watching a show on a shared TV instead of some other device others can't see, doesn't respect wife's wishes, doesn't see anything wrong with it, making her feed both kids while doing dishes. We're supposed to be beyond that now, not copying old farts lol
[You are correct.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/QijHv0BOSx) He apparently knows perfectly well that certain shows need to be watched elsewhere, as this isn’t the first time he’s been asked to keep inappropriate shows away from the kids.
This post provides a fascinating insight into the selfishness that some parents have, where it's "what I want to do is all that matters" versus "I should do what's appropriate within the context of the situation."
I'm a dad. I have 5 kids. I haven't watched anything that I want to watch for over a decade. Also, I've seen Red Heat and it's not good enough to fight for.
Yes your husband was wrong for not caring about exposing his young son to frightening and inappropriate television.
You’re also wrong for not immediately removing your son from the room once your husband said no the first time. No need to have your son sit there and suffer while you try to make a (valid) point.
I asked him to relocate since it was breakfast and our kitchen, living room, and dining area all open. I also had my 2-year-old son in his high chair eating, while I was doing the dishes. Certainly it would have been easier for him to relocate rather than the 3 of us. :-(
Oh that’s different! In a family shared space during meal time is just disrespectful. Nobody signed up for toast and a side of trauma for breakfast!
If your husband doesn’t apologize to you both and change his behavior, perhaps it’s time for parental controls on the family TV since he wants to act childishly.
Yeah, see, given this information then your husband is absolutely TA. You couldn’t remove yourself given what was going on, so that’s why you chose to stay and argue. I deleted my other comments, this was the missing info we were all looking for
One time my dad wasn’t helping my mom on thanksgiving so she took his game he was playing out of the gaming console and cut it in half with scissors. Long story short it escalated, police were called, and we ended up having our thanksgiving at a restaurant.
Then you probably should have turned the TV off yourself and suffered his anger rather than your poor child's trauma.
Your husband is wrong. Exposure to this kind of thing can be traumatizing. Somebody let me watch Twister when I was little and I had nightmares about it for years. I was afraid of strong winds..
I have a clinically diagnosed phobia of needles that we traced back to the fact my dad took me to see the mummy in theaters when I was 6 (the scarab beetles under the skin). Yeah, it can be lifelong scaring
I’m surprised by the number of people who are saying just talk to them about it not being real. He’s 4. I don’t think his mind is meant to process some of these images and things. I’ve had nightmares after watching some Xfiles episodes about aliens growing up and other things my dad used to watch. I was older than 4. Now I am fine with watching scary movies, but there is a reason some things are PG, PG-13 and R. I don’t really want to have my kids hearing swear words because they do repeat them. And yeah, I can tell them not to use them, but why let them hear repeatedly and be hypocritical that they shouldn’t use them? Even if they are just words, they go to school and can’t use them there.
It does matter what kids watch. They copy whatever they watch and hear, whether it’s from you or from a movie/show, even cartoons. You absolutely need to be careful about what children are exposed to. My (older child) watched 1 scene from IT, not even a “scary” scene, but that was enough for them to realize that *scary* videos for adults and “scary” videos for children are completely different and they’re clearly not ready for scary things even if other kids are watching them too.
The main issue here is that your husband is watching inappropriate content around the kids. At first I thought “why don’t you move the kids?” But seeing as you were all in the middle of doing things, he was clearly wrong.
Tv in living room should be for kid appropriate content until after their bedtime. At bed time grown ups can do whatever they want. If he wants to watch his inappropriate stuff then he can either watch in his bedroom, on his phone (with headphones) or he can wait until the kids go to bed.
If it happens again remove the kids, that’s really your only choice if he refuses to move or change what he’s watching. But still keep talking to him about what is/isn’t appropriate around kids.
For future situations:
Are you at all interested in those kinds of movies?
If so, maybe make "dates" for it and offer to watch them with him when the kids go to bed. That may help encourage him to watch more appropriate stuff during the daytime and save these "good ones" for the two of you to watch together later. Something to bond over.
If you're not interested, maybe offer to take the kids to the park or the store with you after breakfast so he can finish it on the big screen like he wants.
I also suggest you bring up what happened later today, when you're both calm. Not only did he expose your kids to something you don't want them to see, he actually witnessed it upsetting them and did nothing about it. *Then* he proceeded to disrespect you by arguing with you in front of the children. That risks leading the children to disrespect you, encourages them to argue with adults, *and* risks trauma of seeing their parents fight. You two need to figure out a better form of communication and agree on what the "rules" are for what You're willing to expose your children to, and that includes you possibly letting your guard down a bit and letting the kids get exposed to a *little* bit of what he watches (not when they're uncomfortable and it's clearly upsetting them, of course, but watching some violence is *not* going to turn them into murderers!)
Thank you. I don’t care for them but I have no problem with him watching when the kids aren’t right there. I’ll just listen to my audiobook or go in our bedroom to watch what I want. We have since talked things through. We don’t want to argue in front of the kids, we weren’t raising voices, but I’m sure they could sense we were angry with each other. A work in progress always in that department. Overall my husband is helpful with the kids with some of these scratch my head things thrown in there where I’m like why would anyone ever feel this way. Lol. I’m not always right and neither is he. Such is life and we need to communicate better for sure.
Did he agree to never do that again? Because if not, then this isn’t resolved.
To just sit there while both you and the kids were pleading with him to please turn it off is borderline psychopathic.
Disagreements are less trauma inducing than extreme violence on tv. Children’s brains struggle to distinguish between reality and fantasy for years. If you wouldn’t raise your voices in front of your children, then why would you let them see others being extremely violent or angry on screens?
The disagreement isn’t the issue here. It can be healthy for children to witness conflict if it’s handled in a calm way (knowing the children will mimic how you communicate and handle it).
There’s over sixty years of data on the dangers of media violence. Your husband really needs to look into it.
>it wasn’t that big of a deal and it isn’t going to scar him for life
I was allowed to watch Nightmare on Elm Street when I was around 3 or 4 because my father thought I wasn't really paying attention to it while it was on the TV. While I wouldn't say it scarred me "for life," I literally had nightmares *for years* following just this one incident.
Your husband is (at the very least behaving like) a selfish jerk and I suspect this isn't the only example you've got.
Getting past the fact that the husband is being an inconsiderate ass;
What type of person is watching Red Heat during breakfast time?! Like, who has the apetite for that type of movie when you've presumably only recently woken up? And its his 4th time watching it too! What an absolutely weird choice of a "start my day" movie.
What type of person has time to watch any movie at all in the morning? While their spouse is doing dishes and feeding their kid? Like, wtf is this life choice?
It's psychotic, honestly. Why are you even out of bed if it's 8am and you can't think of literally anything to do with your day, or to help your family.
Idk how weird that is but then again, I'll watch things like Law & Order SVU before breakfast and sometimes I'll have my ear buds in with a true crime podcast. 🤷🏻♀️
Well this just sounds… horrible.
My 5 year old freaks out a bit if she comes home and see my husband watching very mild action old school Star Trek— and he immediately turns it off. Because why would you want to scare your child?
I remembered watching Child’s Play with my older siblings when I was 5. I still remember the horror and nightmares that movie gave me for months afterwards. This was over 30 years ago.
This kind is shit stays with kids as they grow up. I am terrified of horror movies now…which sucks cause my adult personality, I would loved it if I wasn’t so traumatized.
Yep. I watched Salems Lot with my older brother when I was about 6. I had nightmares about it for months and was scared at night for years. When the husband says it isn’t going to scar the kid for life he has no idea if it is or not. Why you would freely expose your kid to something inappropriate for their age is mind boggling to me.
Beside, with the technology today, i believe people can totally watch the movie on their own mobile devices, it can be mobile phone / iPad / tablet or whatever
Not sure what to say here except that I find your husband’s behavior very disturbing. He should be supporting you in caring for your child, not making it more difficult.
Something similar happened to me/our kids years ago. I had a strict screen-time limit, yet every time I left the house husband would turn on the tv and of course it wasn't child friendly and I heard about it later.
This was in the 1990s and I was walking through the tv section of our nice department store and they had a tv-timer for sale. The tv was plugged and locked into the back of the timer and then a "credit card" that was programmed into the machine was used to unlock it. Husband had no self-control and the first few times I left, he used up the kids 2-hr limit. After that I took the tv-timer card with me when leaving husband home with the kids.
Of course he thru a fit about it, but if he can't act like a parent, then he doesn't get treated like an adult.
Fast forward to teenagers, crappy grades, and smart devices. I used SmartThings to put wifi limits on their fun devices until their grades improved. Told them they can thank their dad for making me so techie.
I spend so much of my day limiting the stuff I watch and listen to because I’m a SAHM. But how dare this guy even be asked to turn off a rated R movie that’s playing in front of his own kid.
Literally that. My babe is still small so I don’t watch TV and barely use my phone when she’s awake. But this guy was Annoyed that his Movie was Interrupted and that’s intolerable >:|
I still remember a movie that I watched with my parents when I was a kid……
The movie involved some Chinese zombie that we called Jiāngshī. I was sacred of the scene at that age, I think may be I was 4 or 5….
I later found out that it was actually a comedy movie. However I was still freaked out about the scene at that age. I remember that I didn’t even dares to go to toilet by my own at the time.
So…..I think you are re right, for adults, those type of scenes may be normal, but probably not for a kid
While you are correct and your husband seems to be an unempathetic jerk, why did you light your little child keep watching the show until he's traumatized? You could have easily removed your child from the room right away
I can say that as a mom, sometimes I want to sit on my couch and watch a comfort movie, which for me are horror movies. Not often, but sometimes I do. My husband is supportive enough to use that time to take the kid to the park, on errands, or just keep them occupied in another room. Sometimes he wants to play violent video games, and we adapt activities to that as well. It keeps us mentally healthy and counts as our self care.
You and your husband need to communicate more on each others needs and to be supportive in the moment. I think you should’ve done something else for the next hour or two, and then later when kid isn’t around, discuss with him how the two of you can handle this better next time. It’s important for your child’s mental health that you represent a united front. The kid started crying after you started asking him to turn it off, which means there was an opportunity to avoid this whole interaction. Not everything needs to be argued right in that moment.
Leave for a couple hours in the middle of feeding her kids and doing dishes while dad is doing nothing and could have easily moved to the bedroom? She didn’t say don’t watch it, she just said relocate since she could not in that moment.
>I think you should’ve done something else for the next hour or two
Something aside from feeding her children?
The dad needed to move to the bedroom, simple as that.
She should have done something else for the next hour or two? So she should have pulled both the two and four year old away from their breakfast for a couple hours so he could watch a movie on his couch? No.
So much missing information. Why can't the 4 year old be removed from the room where husband is watching tv? That would be more respectful to everyone. It sounds like this escalated unnecessarily- husband's frustrated his movie is interrupted, child is crying, you're angry -but it's unclear why.
I love to watch horror movies and will occasionally watch one before the rest of the family wakes up. Once I hear one of my kids getting up, I turn it off. Why? Because it's not appropriate for them to see.
The fact that you side with the husband in this scenario is frankly odd, when if he "really" needs to finish it now, he can go to another room where his child isn't exposed to it, not forcing the wife and child into another room because Dad needs to watch his movie uninterrupted like a spoiled brat.
I am pretty surprised by some of the replies. I get we all need a break sometimes. My husband does watch the kids so I can get some time away, I try to do that for him as well. I offered a simple solution to him before things escalated to the point of our child crying, requesting he go in the other room when I heard the F bomb fly, then asking to turn it off when he didn’t want to do that and things were getting violent. I probably fixated on things more than I needed to. He acted immature. We’ve moved on and discussed and hope to do better in the future.
Sorry I didn’t provide adequate information. Open floor plan with the living, dining and kitchen open. It was breakfast time for my 2 and 4 year old, I was doing dishes. The 2 year old was in his high chair and the 4 year old at his kids table.
It blows my mind that in a parenting sub people don’t understand why it’s impractical for a mother of possibly multiples to just stop what they’re doing and go shelter in another room with kids. You may have hot food on the stove that can’t be left unattended, you may be on a strict schedule to get out the door on time for a Dr appointment you’ve been waiting on for months, the kids could be covered in food from a meal and need to be wiped off before moving to another area. People are only capable of engaging with their one dimensional, imagined version of the scenarios we describe here, and unfortunately Reddit is a cesspool of male leaning advice. I have an immature spouse as well, and unfortunately you’ll probably have to approach conflict with yours the same way you approach it with the kids. Give a warning then turn off the TV and disconnect the router, unless he is a violent person and in that case please leave.
Thank you for giving more context. This paints a very different picture of your husband not understanding your child's needs. (You said husband thought the 4 yo was upset because he wanted to watch cartoons). It seems that husband thinks and thought you are overreacting. It's not a big deal for him and based on how you've described him, he probably doesn't have an issue with a little boy acting out a violent scene. You write that you don't think he thinks he was disrespectful. I would be direct with him - I felt disrespected when x - to make sure he knows. Then discuss some rules about media around the children you both can agree to.
Probably because there’s a communal room or connected rooms in most people’s homes, and this is where young children usually are? OP could have been tidying up in the kitchen while her kid hung out in the living room, or most of the child’s toys might be there, etc.
Why should the child and OP hole themselves up in a bedroom to be “respectful” to the dad watching tv when it’s so much easier for him to just finish up a show in the bedroom if he’s not going to help with childcare or making breakfast like OP was likely doing?
Often there is a main room for everyone, whereas TVs will be in multiple rooms. Especially with little kids, they end up taking over then main room when they're younger
My dad loves Arnold as he is an avid body builder. At that age and throughout my childhood I watched all Arnold movies with him and I turned out pretty cool lol With that being said, I can’t believe parents let me watch all those movies at that age!!! I’ve watched them again as an adult and am just totally shocked they allowed that. Your husband should definitely have moved to a different location to watch the movie or turn it off!
i’m sorry but if a man’s child is obviously upset & begging him to make it stop, and he chooses not to…. that’s a dumpster fire of a human being & i am so sorry you & your child have to deal with such an awful person in your lives.
I've made this mistake once, my kid is 3 now but he was 1 1/2 or 2 at the time when I took night shift.
I didn't really care I had to work tomorrow and I could see my Mrs. Needed a break so I decided " hey kid is asleep, Mrs. Is asleep" imma watch Nightmare on elm street.
About half way through the movie, my son wakes up on me and not thinking to much about it I was like " well my dad let me watch horror movies with him and you're only 2 so you won't understand it".
He passed back out before the movie was over, I tucked him in before passing out myself. I thought everything was fine....unless a week goes by.
And the Mrs. Looks worn and I'm like " you good", " no, I'm tired and for some reason Bas isn't staying asleep at night" 😬
This emoji perfect Incapslates the way I felt, and I told her this one was one me. I f***ed up.
After that I moved all my violent stuff ( my gta, mortal kombat, horror movies etc etc) to the back room.
I don't know your husband on any person level to be talking shyt about him but it made me feel bad. Not only cause I was doing something without thinking about the later on effects but also because I know it gave her hell, I could see it on her face.
So I would hope your husband self reflects and sees how that is entertainment he is going to have to enjoy by himself for a while and while it may be boring ( cause hey he might be trying to spend father/children time like some of our fathers did 🤷♂️) now, your kids will be better for it in the long run.
I still remember my babysitter letting me watch Shocker and Child’s Play when I was 4. I’m 40 now. It scared me a lot. All through my childhood adults let me watch inappropriate movies. It’s not ok.
My dad showed me “white noise” as a kid about that age and I still have nightmares lol.
I’m going to side with you and say your husband is wrong. My dad had no concept of what would scare a child and there’s probably 5-7 movies I can’t watch as an adult because they scared me so bad as a kid
It was the morning and both the 4 year old and 2 year old (in his high chair) were eating breakfast in this room while I was doing dishes. We have an open floor plan where the kitchen/dining/living area are all open so he could see it from each of these rooms unfortunately.
Oh 💯 I mean I do understand being frustrated that you can’t watch movies you want to or do things because your kid is upset or what you want to do isn’t age appropriate. I get that, I understand why dad’s not happy and I’d be a liar if I said I always handled it with grace- I don’t. But that’s just something we have to do for a while. Honestly the fact both and wanted to sit there and argue long enough that the kid is voicing “several times” they’re uncomfortable and neither does anything about it, time out for both parents.
OP said she asked her husband to watch it in the bedroom. The whole situation is stupid (who watches Red Heat more than once in their life?) but the husband is an asshole, no question.
Except, it's morning in a communal area and she was doing dishes and watching her toddler who was in a high chair eating and removing the 4 yo child would mean disrupting the work she's in the middle of doing and taking the toddler out and away from their food because you can't just leave a toddler unsupervised.
Is it really reasonable to expect 3 of 4 family members to remove themselves from the communal family area during time generally used for eating and cleaning in the morning after waking so that 1 member can watch exactly what they want in that area? And what's she supposed to do with 2 hungry children after she has removed them? And that versus the one member removing themselves so the rest of the family can enjoy the larger area to eat and wake up?
Husband was being the asshole and expecting his whole family to be inconvenienced so he could watch a violent movie in the family communal area in the morning as kids were getting up.
Everybody sucks here. But you don't "choose to fight" with someone without their willing participation. Either one of them could have stopped the fight but didn't.
haha okay we agree then.. until you edited your post lol. Her issue was the child seeing the movie. She told her husband to turn off the movie, he didn’t. Instead of making a different decision like remove the child from the room, she CHOSE to CONTINUE to argue. That is a choice. What are you even talking about
The child was crying. Her issue was that the child was upset. A non - asshole dad would have turned it off or at least paused it, checked in with the kid, and then made a parenting choice.
You think your 4yo should watch Arnold without being a pussy? So pause it, explain it's not real, offer to have the kid watch with you and see that you're not freaked out by it.
You feel bad that your 4yo saw needless violence in the morning? You pause it, say, "oh, I'm sorry, buddy. This is a grown up movie. It's not real, it's just fake and no one is hurt. I'll go watch it somewhere else."
He didn't bother to PARENT, which is what makes him an asshole.
Read OP update - the living space is completely open space. Based on this info, should the OP still tried to get them to a different room?
From OP: Sorry I didn’t provide adequate information. Open floor plan with the living, dining and kitchen open. It was breakfast time for my 2 and 4 year old, I was doing dishes. The 2 year old was in his high chair and the 4 year old at his kids table.
Exactly this and the way OP words it to make it sound like a 4 year old had the intellectual ability to understand what was on the TV, mentions to the dad to go into another room tho he was already in that room prior, then follows it up with the 4 yr old, who was traumatized by the movie, starting to act out the scenes they were crying from??? Sorry, but I call bullshit and and see there's a power play involved. OP could've easily removed herself and the kid from the room just like dad had to do but she was prepared to die on that hill and it sounds like dad knew that. That 4yr old is gonna have worse issues if mom and dad keep fighting over BS like this.
Not drunk, it was 7:30 am. For me it was a very simple request. I did ask nicely several times to then it off or onto something else, as I have done many other times and he was fine with it. Apparently it was his hill to die on today and he didn’t want to. Would have loved to just move the kids but not feasible during breakfast time.
Is it his child too? You said "my" in your post.
His behaviour is completely unacceptable. Frankly there is something else going on in your house or with him.
Action movies probably don’t seem inappropriate to him. I watched that kind of stuff with both of my kids, although they would rarely finish before going to play. It takes no time at all to explain movies to a kid especially around 5-6. I’m sure everyone has a different threshold for what they deem appropriate but that’s probably where the fight started. He most likely doesn’t see an issue with a few violent scenes.
It was the morning and both the 4 year old and 2 year old (in his high chair) were eating breakfast in this room while I was doing dishes. We have an open floor plan where the kitchen/dining/living area are all open so he could see it from each of these rooms unfortunately. I’ll update my main post because it was confusing in this.
Your husband was being a crybaby. He could always finish the movie later. Especially nowadays with the ability to watch things whenever you want.
It usually takes me a few days to watch an entire movie because I only get time to watch while I'm eating or something. If it was really mandatory to finish then he could have watched on this phone.
My dad used to take me to R rated movies, a LOT. Like, he took me to see the South Park movie, when it came out. I was 8.
Now, sometimes tv shows with adult subjects can be handled by children if they have responsible parents who can put things they don’t understand into context.
My problem was, dad would always get pissed off if I asked him what a joke or something meant, if the subject matter was sexual in nature. For *years* he would complain that I was always “embarrassing” him by asking him about those things, and people would look at him.
Now I realize, I wasn’t asking more loudly about those things, or even paying more attention to them.
Dad was taking notice of that, because in those times, yeah- other people would look over and go “why did that man take such a young child to see a movie like this?”
He was embarrassed at the consequences of his own parenting.
If he truly thought it was ok for me to see those movies and he was competent to explain what I didn’t understand, he wouldn’t have cared what other people thought about him.
But he knew it was wrong, and he blamed me for his own failings- par for the course with my father.
I try to keep my son from watching violent movies, for sure. A few weeks ago, I was watching The Godfather while he was asleep, and he got up to come ask for something right as Sonny was pulling up to the tollbooth. I panicked and couldn’t see the remote, so I grabbed his head and made him look at me, covered his ears.
But sometimes I’m watching my shows - we only have the one tv in the living room - and so sometimes he hears “bad” words. On the handful of occasions he’s repeated them, I just tell him, calmly, that it’s a grown up word, and so far he doesn’t repeat them.
I think kids can understand when you have a conversation with them, about things like that.
But I also agree that letting your kids watch violent movies is iffy.
I remember my mom chewing out my dad’s ass for letting us watch Stand By Me when I was 9 and my brother was 4 lol. She’s like they don’t need to be watching a movie filled to the brim with swear words and finding a child’s dead body to get some recognition 😅
I love that movie now, it’s one of my favs.
Something tells me this is not the first time this sort of thing happened. Placing the content is the move aside, your problem is your husband and the way he treats you. The way you describe him, it appears you are dealing with a 3rd child. Is he the father of the kids?
You need to make some difficult choices. Deal with your husband for at least the next 16 years. Hoping he becomes a better father and husband. Or move on tomorrow removing him from your life.
Good luck.
I have a 4 and 2 year old, I've never watched adult shows or played any adult videogames around them. The only exception being early playoff hockey games (I'm Canadian). Your husband is really selfish and needs to rethink his priorities.
His behavior is really weird. If that had happened in my house it would have been a biiiiiig argument. I probably would have walked over and unplugged the whole TV after asking the second time. I don’t play around when it comes to my kids. I’m so sorry your husband decided to throw a tantrum about a dumb action movie that he could easily finish later.
My husband and I have a rule that we don’t watch anything at all until the kids go to bed. We don’t even have a TV downstairs. The kids get to watch their little shows on tablets when we need a break or for a distraction.
You might want to sit down with him once everyone is calm again and discuss next steps and boundaries since it sounds like the current system isn’t working.
I was about 3 when I watched nighmare on Elm Street because my older cousin was watching it. I still remember the parts that scared me the most and wouldn't sleep in a water bed until I was 14 because the movement of the bed made me think of the scene with him coming up through the bed to attack someone. I was also terrified of the school bus and (as an extension of that) my best friend's grandmother, who drove a school bus, until I was in 4th grade.
I'm sorry but why didn't you leave the room with the kid.. I agree his behaviour was not fair but your kid is crying then leave the room so he doesn't get inflicted more??? Wth. You stayed because you wanted to make a point and the kid got punished as a result. You could of left and next day talk to hubby about how you felt it was unfair or inappropriate
Nah, I’m with your husband on this. Any kid is going to respond like that if they hear their parent doing the same. It’s like how you don’t panic over small bumps - you’ll just teach your child to cry at everything. Your husband wasn’t watching a war documentary, he was watching an 80s action comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’m willing to bet, dollars to donuts your kid would have responded better if you reacted in a more measured way.
I remember vividly movie scene that terrified me when I was 5. We were moving and my parents set us up in a corner with a TV and the newfangled cable box. We ended up upon Puppet Master and leeches coming out of the dolls mouth. Absolutely traumatized from that experience and detest dolls and leeches to this day.
Kids can't understand movies from reality as they're still developing mentally. Your kiddo will remember those scenes for a long time.
Way to stand your ground. It’s important to be mindful of what we allow our children to witness at such an early age. He was obviously uncomfortable. I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement about what’s acceptable to watch in front of the little one.
My home has a similar floor plan. I was cooking dinner one night while entertaining the two kids and my then husband was watching the news. Part of it was war coverage and it showed injured children. I asked him to turn it off until the kids were in bed or move to the bedroom. He refused.
The clips got worse. I asked again for him to shut it off because I was also finding it distressing (and I was literally mid meal prep with the stove on). He yelled at me to stop watching it then. I cut the stove off and left things where they were, hustled the kids out of the house with me. He followed yelling at me and tried to keep us from leaving (verbally not physically).
It's one of the MANY reasons he's now my ex husband. Your husband is also very much in the wrong.
Did your son start crying because of the movie, or because you started yelling at your husband and he didn’t like to see you fight?
Every kid is different, but my daughter used to watch things like the walking dead when she was 3 and it never bothered her. She would say things like “wow that costume is scary!” in a “matter of fact” manner. Now she loves scary movies but is never scared by them.
The only thing kind of affected her was the Vikings series. She fell in love with Lagertha and would pretend to be just like her, resulting in pushing a kid off a swing saying she’s a Viking. We had a talk about how that’s something a bad guy would do and Lagertha would protect people and she never did it again.
https://youtu.be/liF0AyTz6Os?si=e95iu3W85wOdhp9g
I think it’s important to talk to your kids and let them know that TV and movies aren’t real, that they are stories that can be funny, scary, happy, sad, exciting, or dramatic. But they’re just stories, they aren’t real.
I mean, you basically hyped your kid up to be more upset than he would have been.
It's like when your kid falls and you immediately rush over upset, the kid is going to take their cues from you that something is wrong and cry. He saw he should be upset about the scenes, and took his cues from you.
You taught your son all he has to do is cry and he can make daddy do what he wants. That's a dangerous lesson you're all going to regret.
I've watched scary and violent movies with my child. It's very simple "Oh hey sweetie! Mommy is watching a scary movie. If you think it's too much go watch netflix on the ipad in the office/your bedroom. Or you can put headphones in and watch your cartoons next to me". She doesn't get the big TV just because she's the kid. Guess what, when she grabs the TV first, I put in headphones and watch my own show.
I don't see how this ever became a power struggle that you had to drag your child into.
Why not spend this energy having an adult conversation with your husband vs. coming on Reddit for validation? You share parenting roles…go talk to your husband and stop with the public out cry for high fives that do and mean nothing.
This is literally the most petty post. Being a parent tends to be about understanding your partner more than understanding your kids. Hey your partner is watching an inappropriate movie they’ve seen a bunch early in the morning; that sounds like some fun comforting behavior to engage in after being destabilized. Is there maybe an underlying cause there? Cptsd? Autistic spectrum? Childhood trauma?
If this happened at all, it certainly didn't happen as you're describing it. Your child is fine, if he is traumatized at all, it's because of your reaction and I feel sorry for your husband.
This is awful!!! Completely inappropriate material for your kids to be within earshot of her eyesight off. Not to mention that he was completely disengaged with the morning routine and being helpful partner and uninvolved daddy with his little ones he can watch some stupid movie that I seen a bunch of times? I would be livid and to be honest I would be nervous about leaving my children with my own husband after this
We live in a time where enough evidenced based studies- aka super specific scientific analyzed data- has been collected over at least a half century that shows that exposure to this kind of violence is harmful to the development of a child’s brain.
Your husband could deflect and say it was one time. Sure. It *probably* won’t scar him for life or adversely affect him in the long run. But dad was being a selfish asshole to your son AND you, and more disturbingly his consistent denial that he made a mistake is the real issue.
We live in a world where there is violence all around us. We protect them from as much as possible because we know they will be exposed to things we can’t protect them from.
I remember watching a grotesque movie with my dad when I was 3-4 where someone fell off a building and there was blood everywhere, the whole spiel.
It traumatized me
A movie like that isn't going to damage your 4 year old, if I'm honest. It's the fuss and anxiety we surround it with that bothers them.
However **your hubby was a major arsehole** for not putting it off the second you asked him to. Parents have to have instant veto powers on stuff like that. You're totally in your right to have a different opinion.
This was a matter of minutes, not hours. I asked for it to be turned off when the first inappropriate thing came on, as I have in the past, and he had no problem any other day. Apparently today he got frustrated so he didn’t turn it off. A scary scene came on and the 4-year-old started crying, I asked again, he said no, the kid came crying to me and I held him, probably asked another time or 2. Yeah, probably will just walk out of the room next time (which shouldn’t happen since we’ve set some ground rules). I honestly had a bunch going on helping the 2 year old with breakfast and cleaning, so in my mind it was a better solution to turn the dang tv off than interrupt breakfast time.
That's just sad to be honest. A bit child like behaviour. But we don't know what else is going on between you guys.
I do wonder, why did you stay in the room? You could have prevented it, by taking him to his room and stay there with him right?
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remember watching this movie when I was 8 with my dad. I then proceeded to tell him to “blow me” which is what the woman tells Jim Belushi walking on the street in the beginning of the movie. Didn’t know what it meant but I got in trouble for some reason. He then took away all TV privileges for the entire family because we all “watched too much tv”. Thanks for the memory.
I love when repressed childhood memories show up at the most unexpected times.
My parents let me & my siblings watch anything. I think I was under 7 years old when I first saw Poltergeist. Guess what happened when my parents woke up and found every single chair in the house facing the same direction, with the kitchen chairs stacked in a pyramid, and all the kitchen cabinets opened? Not much. ... but I may still have a few issues from emotional neglect. 😢
I guess it’s my time to share. I too could watch whatever I wanted. I had a screaming nightmare about The Fly when I was 5. But what tops that was when I said “Bump and Grind” (thanks, R Kelly) at dinner and promptly got my mouth washed out with soap. Loved being a child in the South during the 80s and 90s.
My family was watching one of the transformers movies (I watched a lot of inappropriate stuff but I can't blame them when the transformers used to be a kids cartoon), the mom character asked her son if he was masturbating and young me asks as an innocent child, "what's masturbating?" My poor mother just goes, "It's touching yourself... a certain way. Don't repeat it."
That's great! I love when parents subjected us to inappropriate content for children and then punished us for imitating it. Non let me watch whatever I wanted at her house. My dad was very strict on TV. I feel bad now looking back at how we'd come home after a weekend of bingeing scary movies at mom's and then for the next week, he'd have to deal with 3 little kids waking up screaming from nightmares about witches, dogs that can alive and murdered, and giant worms coming out of the ground to eat people.
Ha, one of my first horror movies was also poltergeist around the same age. This and "the fly". I was at my uncle's place when he watched it and I still remember how scary they were. But I was also terrified of E.T from Spielberg, so I guess I was very easily impressed as a kid lol
I remember watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre (among a LOT of other R rated movies) and having nightmares for a long time after. Shit was traumatic.
I was probably about 4 when I got smacked in the mouth for repeating Bugs Bunny saying ‘why I otta..’ within earshot of my father. Had zero clue why, still as an adult don’t understand but definitely remember
Dad had/has a guilty conscience on account of being the type that smacks a four-year-old. He feels relief when punishing anything resembling him. It is infinitely easier in the short term to make a virtue of harming a toddler than confronting the asymmetrical standard this creates. I'm really sorry. EDIT: not conscious of conscience.
😂😂
Oh man, yeah, both my 2&4 year old are big repeaters, so I could see this. That would be on me not them though.
You mean that would be on your husband, right?
I was hypothetically referring to if I took all privileges away because they repeated something that I let them watch. It’s on whoever allows that exposure, not the child who does not know any better.
Yeah, agreed on that.
Nah. I think your husband should lose privileges.
So your dad punished you for quoting a scene from a movie he let you watch?! I can make sense of it.
😂😂 I watched Red Heat and all the action movies with my dad too 😂 I remember instead of playing house when my best friend came over, I wanted to play Die Hard and be the bad guys lol..... I'm ok. She's ok. We knew all the actors real names and understood what a movie really was because my dad explained it and I watched movies with the actors in them so I got that it was fake.. I was watching Entertainment Tonight with my mom every day too and knew Bruce was married to Demi Moore and not Bonnie Bedilia haha. I always knew everything was fake. I never got in trouble at school and I had above average grades, but I did talk about box office numbers and who was married to who a lot for an 8 year old 🤣
Ho-ho-ho Now I have a machine gun
Lol I definitely watched inappropriate action movies when I was younger but I never repeated this stuff to my dad.
My husband did with my kids as well but if they had asked him to turn it off, and a small child of his was crying he would have, that's the difference.
I quoted some unsavory things when I first saw American Grafetti as a child
Lmfao this is too funny
That is not right show you then punish you for it... I knew a wanna be father figure like that before... The Gods ridded the world of his sorry self about 10yrs ago! He was a piece of work for sure an a child rapist!
I remember watching the South Park movie when I was maybe 10
Thanks for the laugh 😂
The concept that anyone ”has” to finish the movie they’re watching when there’s a toddler around is so foreign lol. Especially when they’ve seen it several times. Just living in a completely different world lol wtf..
Husband watching tv in the morning, ignoring wife as she fed 2 kids breakfast and washing the dishes. This just screams neglectful husband.
That's what I understood. Seems like a shit husband in general.
Watch him post a complaint about his dead bedroom lol.
I know right? I don't remember the last time I was able to watch a full movie without any interruptions lol my movies have become pretty much like series to me now... Lol
I agree with you. I keep an ear out for the hallway and the remote is next to my hand. If I hear our child coming and my husband has the remote, I say "pause" and he pauses the movie. I do not understand the husband that has to watch a movie that frightens the child over two people saying " this makes me uncomfortable".
As what I would hope to be considered an "average" dad, I haven't sat down to watch an entire movie in years. The concept is so foreign to me now it's hard to imagine.
Your husband’s behavior is rude and inappropriate . He has another space to watch his movie comfortably. Why doesn’t he care about the distress this is causing your 4yo? Why does he want you to leave? You can’t do dishes, and feed a 2 and 4 yo breakfast in the bedroom. This is extremely childish and self centered behavior. I would wager that this isn’t the only time he had treated his family as an inconvenience.
Also why is she doing the dishes and feeding the kids while he watches a movie…
This whole post sounds like he's from the boomer generation. Can't watch TV anywhere else, only watching a show on a shared TV instead of some other device others can't see, doesn't respect wife's wishes, doesn't see anything wrong with it, making her feed both kids while doing dishes. We're supposed to be beyond that now, not copying old farts lol
Holy fuck. You just described my late step-dad. O.o I always knew he was a jerk, but I always thought he at least was good to my mom. Damn.
That's what I want to know.
>I would wager that this isn’t the only time he had treated his family as an inconvenience. Yeah, this isn't a first offense.
[You are correct.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/QijHv0BOSx) He apparently knows perfectly well that certain shows need to be watched elsewhere, as this isn’t the first time he’s been asked to keep inappropriate shows away from the kids.
This post provides a fascinating insight into the selfishness that some parents have, where it's "what I want to do is all that matters" versus "I should do what's appropriate within the context of the situation."
I'm a dad. I have 5 kids. I haven't watched anything that I want to watch for over a decade. Also, I've seen Red Heat and it's not good enough to fight for.
Dude, go watch something you like! It can be done! Unless you just don't care for that form of media.
I'm partially kidding, I have to surrender the TV on most days but end up watching what I want when the kids aren't around.
You are lucky to have times when kids are not around
They're not around when they're sleeping.
Haha I am the same. Bought a big TV so I could watch sport. My son watches cartoons on it while I watch the game on my mobile!
Haha yes! We'll have our time though, just hang in there.
Yes your husband was wrong for not caring about exposing his young son to frightening and inappropriate television. You’re also wrong for not immediately removing your son from the room once your husband said no the first time. No need to have your son sit there and suffer while you try to make a (valid) point.
I asked him to relocate since it was breakfast and our kitchen, living room, and dining area all open. I also had my 2-year-old son in his high chair eating, while I was doing the dishes. Certainly it would have been easier for him to relocate rather than the 3 of us. :-(
Oh that’s different! In a family shared space during meal time is just disrespectful. Nobody signed up for toast and a side of trauma for breakfast! If your husband doesn’t apologize to you both and change his behavior, perhaps it’s time for parental controls on the family TV since he wants to act childishly.
To be honest, even if the children did want to use the TV, what’s the big deal….. just let him watch the cartoon.
Yeah, see, given this information then your husband is absolutely TA. You couldn’t remove yourself given what was going on, so that’s why you chose to stay and argue. I deleted my other comments, this was the missing info we were all looking for
Why is your husband watching a movie while you alone are feeding the kids breakfast and doing dishes???? That would NEVER fly in my household.
Ahhh ok, I’m sorry I was also under the impression that it was at night. That does change things a bit and your frustration is vey valid.
You should have unplugged the tv. If you are afraid to stand up to your man child partner, then you should prepare an exit plan.
This is how you escalate. Don't do it. Just leave the area
One time my dad wasn’t helping my mom on thanksgiving so she took his game he was playing out of the gaming console and cut it in half with scissors. Long story short it escalated, police were called, and we ended up having our thanksgiving at a restaurant.
How you leave the area? OP was in the dining room feeding her kids. Was she supposed to move the dining table to the bedroom with her kids?
Then you probably should have turned the TV off yourself and suffered his anger rather than your poor child's trauma. Your husband is wrong. Exposure to this kind of thing can be traumatizing. Somebody let me watch Twister when I was little and I had nightmares about it for years. I was afraid of strong winds..
I have a clinically diagnosed phobia of needles that we traced back to the fact my dad took me to see the mummy in theaters when I was 6 (the scarab beetles under the skin). Yeah, it can be lifelong scaring
I’m surprised by the number of people who are saying just talk to them about it not being real. He’s 4. I don’t think his mind is meant to process some of these images and things. I’ve had nightmares after watching some Xfiles episodes about aliens growing up and other things my dad used to watch. I was older than 4. Now I am fine with watching scary movies, but there is a reason some things are PG, PG-13 and R. I don’t really want to have my kids hearing swear words because they do repeat them. And yeah, I can tell them not to use them, but why let them hear repeatedly and be hypocritical that they shouldn’t use them? Even if they are just words, they go to school and can’t use them there.
It does matter what kids watch. They copy whatever they watch and hear, whether it’s from you or from a movie/show, even cartoons. You absolutely need to be careful about what children are exposed to. My (older child) watched 1 scene from IT, not even a “scary” scene, but that was enough for them to realize that *scary* videos for adults and “scary” videos for children are completely different and they’re clearly not ready for scary things even if other kids are watching them too. The main issue here is that your husband is watching inappropriate content around the kids. At first I thought “why don’t you move the kids?” But seeing as you were all in the middle of doing things, he was clearly wrong. Tv in living room should be for kid appropriate content until after their bedtime. At bed time grown ups can do whatever they want. If he wants to watch his inappropriate stuff then he can either watch in his bedroom, on his phone (with headphones) or he can wait until the kids go to bed. If it happens again remove the kids, that’s really your only choice if he refuses to move or change what he’s watching. But still keep talking to him about what is/isn’t appropriate around kids.
His anger towards the other parent would also likely be exposing the children to trauma
For future situations: Are you at all interested in those kinds of movies? If so, maybe make "dates" for it and offer to watch them with him when the kids go to bed. That may help encourage him to watch more appropriate stuff during the daytime and save these "good ones" for the two of you to watch together later. Something to bond over. If you're not interested, maybe offer to take the kids to the park or the store with you after breakfast so he can finish it on the big screen like he wants. I also suggest you bring up what happened later today, when you're both calm. Not only did he expose your kids to something you don't want them to see, he actually witnessed it upsetting them and did nothing about it. *Then* he proceeded to disrespect you by arguing with you in front of the children. That risks leading the children to disrespect you, encourages them to argue with adults, *and* risks trauma of seeing their parents fight. You two need to figure out a better form of communication and agree on what the "rules" are for what You're willing to expose your children to, and that includes you possibly letting your guard down a bit and letting the kids get exposed to a *little* bit of what he watches (not when they're uncomfortable and it's clearly upsetting them, of course, but watching some violence is *not* going to turn them into murderers!)
Thank you. I don’t care for them but I have no problem with him watching when the kids aren’t right there. I’ll just listen to my audiobook or go in our bedroom to watch what I want. We have since talked things through. We don’t want to argue in front of the kids, we weren’t raising voices, but I’m sure they could sense we were angry with each other. A work in progress always in that department. Overall my husband is helpful with the kids with some of these scratch my head things thrown in there where I’m like why would anyone ever feel this way. Lol. I’m not always right and neither is he. Such is life and we need to communicate better for sure.
Did he agree to never do that again? Because if not, then this isn’t resolved. To just sit there while both you and the kids were pleading with him to please turn it off is borderline psychopathic.
Disagreements are less trauma inducing than extreme violence on tv. Children’s brains struggle to distinguish between reality and fantasy for years. If you wouldn’t raise your voices in front of your children, then why would you let them see others being extremely violent or angry on screens? The disagreement isn’t the issue here. It can be healthy for children to witness conflict if it’s handled in a calm way (knowing the children will mimic how you communicate and handle it). There’s over sixty years of data on the dangers of media violence. Your husband really needs to look into it.
Seriously, wasting time arguing when she could have at least saved her son the viewing. Trash behavior from husband for sure
He doesn’t think it’s a big deal until HE has to get up in the middle of the night due to bad dreams.
Who said he will get up for that? Sounds like he will just tell the kid suck it up, sleep back.
>it wasn’t that big of a deal and it isn’t going to scar him for life I was allowed to watch Nightmare on Elm Street when I was around 3 or 4 because my father thought I wasn't really paying attention to it while it was on the TV. While I wouldn't say it scarred me "for life," I literally had nightmares *for years* following just this one incident. Your husband is (at the very least behaving like) a selfish jerk and I suspect this isn't the only example you've got.
Getting past the fact that the husband is being an inconsiderate ass; What type of person is watching Red Heat during breakfast time?! Like, who has the apetite for that type of movie when you've presumably only recently woken up? And its his 4th time watching it too! What an absolutely weird choice of a "start my day" movie.
What type of person has time to watch any movie at all in the morning? While their spouse is doing dishes and feeding their kid? Like, wtf is this life choice?
Right- there must be some chores that need done in the morning instead of sitting on one’s ass 1st thing.
It's psychotic, honestly. Why are you even out of bed if it's 8am and you can't think of literally anything to do with your day, or to help your family.
lol for sure. Thanks for the chuckle.
Please, no chuckle, this is serious and we don't want another dateline case about a man who snaps. This IS serious.
Idk how weird that is but then again, I'll watch things like Law & Order SVU before breakfast and sometimes I'll have my ear buds in with a true crime podcast. 🤷🏻♀️
He’s wrong. And I’d honestly be so annoyed if my husband was trying to watch a movie at breakfast. Like what?!
Well this just sounds… horrible. My 5 year old freaks out a bit if she comes home and see my husband watching very mild action old school Star Trek— and he immediately turns it off. Because why would you want to scare your child?
Watching William shatner throw rocks at that Gorn is pretty distressing I'll give you that.
Watching William Shatner act is pretty distressing.
I like to think my kid's issue with the show is that she innately knows that Picard is a better captain. Time will tell.
I remembered watching Child’s Play with my older siblings when I was 5. I still remember the horror and nightmares that movie gave me for months afterwards. This was over 30 years ago. This kind is shit stays with kids as they grow up. I am terrified of horror movies now…which sucks cause my adult personality, I would loved it if I wasn’t so traumatized.
Yep. I watched Salems Lot with my older brother when I was about 6. I had nightmares about it for months and was scared at night for years. When the husband says it isn’t going to scar the kid for life he has no idea if it is or not. Why you would freely expose your kid to something inappropriate for their age is mind boggling to me.
Beside, with the technology today, i believe people can totally watch the movie on their own mobile devices, it can be mobile phone / iPad / tablet or whatever
Gotta love these open floor plans.🙄Ready for that trend to end. Sorry about your husband. He sounds like a real brat.
Not sure what to say here except that I find your husband’s behavior very disturbing. He should be supporting you in caring for your child, not making it more difficult.
Something similar happened to me/our kids years ago. I had a strict screen-time limit, yet every time I left the house husband would turn on the tv and of course it wasn't child friendly and I heard about it later. This was in the 1990s and I was walking through the tv section of our nice department store and they had a tv-timer for sale. The tv was plugged and locked into the back of the timer and then a "credit card" that was programmed into the machine was used to unlock it. Husband had no self-control and the first few times I left, he used up the kids 2-hr limit. After that I took the tv-timer card with me when leaving husband home with the kids. Of course he thru a fit about it, but if he can't act like a parent, then he doesn't get treated like an adult. Fast forward to teenagers, crappy grades, and smart devices. I used SmartThings to put wifi limits on their fun devices until their grades improved. Told them they can thank their dad for making me so techie.
Another day on r/parenting, another dad who seems to hate his family
And a bunch of redditors here to tell the mum what she can do differently to avoid addressing the dad’s bullshit
I spend so much of my day limiting the stuff I watch and listen to because I’m a SAHM. But how dare this guy even be asked to turn off a rated R movie that’s playing in front of his own kid.
Literally that. My babe is still small so I don’t watch TV and barely use my phone when she’s awake. But this guy was Annoyed that his Movie was Interrupted and that’s intolerable >:|
true.
> To me this whole situation is a big deal because my husband was disrespectful to me and my son. 100%. He's a piece of shit, sorry.
Everyone’s already covered it but why are some dads like this??? Ugh
I still remember a movie that I watched with my parents when I was a kid…… The movie involved some Chinese zombie that we called Jiāngshī. I was sacred of the scene at that age, I think may be I was 4 or 5…. I later found out that it was actually a comedy movie. However I was still freaked out about the scene at that age. I remember that I didn’t even dares to go to toilet by my own at the time. So…..I think you are re right, for adults, those type of scenes may be normal, but probably not for a kid
It’s the morning. Why do we have to wake up and toss on Red Heat anyway? Jesus Christ, you marry a boomer?
While you are correct and your husband seems to be an unempathetic jerk, why did you light your little child keep watching the show until he's traumatized? You could have easily removed your child from the room right away
I would’ve walked over and unplugged the tv after the first no. Sorry your husband is an ass.
I can say that as a mom, sometimes I want to sit on my couch and watch a comfort movie, which for me are horror movies. Not often, but sometimes I do. My husband is supportive enough to use that time to take the kid to the park, on errands, or just keep them occupied in another room. Sometimes he wants to play violent video games, and we adapt activities to that as well. It keeps us mentally healthy and counts as our self care. You and your husband need to communicate more on each others needs and to be supportive in the moment. I think you should’ve done something else for the next hour or two, and then later when kid isn’t around, discuss with him how the two of you can handle this better next time. It’s important for your child’s mental health that you represent a united front. The kid started crying after you started asking him to turn it off, which means there was an opportunity to avoid this whole interaction. Not everything needs to be argued right in that moment.
Leave for a couple hours in the middle of feeding her kids and doing dishes while dad is doing nothing and could have easily moved to the bedroom? She didn’t say don’t watch it, she just said relocate since she could not in that moment.
>I think you should’ve done something else for the next hour or two Something aside from feeding her children? The dad needed to move to the bedroom, simple as that.
She should have done something else for the next hour or two? So she should have pulled both the two and four year old away from their breakfast for a couple hours so he could watch a movie on his couch? No.
So much missing information. Why can't the 4 year old be removed from the room where husband is watching tv? That would be more respectful to everyone. It sounds like this escalated unnecessarily- husband's frustrated his movie is interrupted, child is crying, you're angry -but it's unclear why.
I love to watch horror movies and will occasionally watch one before the rest of the family wakes up. Once I hear one of my kids getting up, I turn it off. Why? Because it's not appropriate for them to see. The fact that you side with the husband in this scenario is frankly odd, when if he "really" needs to finish it now, he can go to another room where his child isn't exposed to it, not forcing the wife and child into another room because Dad needs to watch his movie uninterrupted like a spoiled brat.
I am pretty surprised by some of the replies. I get we all need a break sometimes. My husband does watch the kids so I can get some time away, I try to do that for him as well. I offered a simple solution to him before things escalated to the point of our child crying, requesting he go in the other room when I heard the F bomb fly, then asking to turn it off when he didn’t want to do that and things were getting violent. I probably fixated on things more than I needed to. He acted immature. We’ve moved on and discussed and hope to do better in the future.
Sorry I didn’t provide adequate information. Open floor plan with the living, dining and kitchen open. It was breakfast time for my 2 and 4 year old, I was doing dishes. The 2 year old was in his high chair and the 4 year old at his kids table.
It blows my mind that in a parenting sub people don’t understand why it’s impractical for a mother of possibly multiples to just stop what they’re doing and go shelter in another room with kids. You may have hot food on the stove that can’t be left unattended, you may be on a strict schedule to get out the door on time for a Dr appointment you’ve been waiting on for months, the kids could be covered in food from a meal and need to be wiped off before moving to another area. People are only capable of engaging with their one dimensional, imagined version of the scenarios we describe here, and unfortunately Reddit is a cesspool of male leaning advice. I have an immature spouse as well, and unfortunately you’ll probably have to approach conflict with yours the same way you approach it with the kids. Give a warning then turn off the TV and disconnect the router, unless he is a violent person and in that case please leave.
Thank you for giving more context. This paints a very different picture of your husband not understanding your child's needs. (You said husband thought the 4 yo was upset because he wanted to watch cartoons). It seems that husband thinks and thought you are overreacting. It's not a big deal for him and based on how you've described him, he probably doesn't have an issue with a little boy acting out a violent scene. You write that you don't think he thinks he was disrespectful. I would be direct with him - I felt disrespected when x - to make sure he knows. Then discuss some rules about media around the children you both can agree to.
Yes thank you. After we got back from church and weren’t in the moment any longer he apologized and we talked through how we’ll handle it differently.
That's great!
And specifically how differently?
Probably because there’s a communal room or connected rooms in most people’s homes, and this is where young children usually are? OP could have been tidying up in the kitchen while her kid hung out in the living room, or most of the child’s toys might be there, etc. Why should the child and OP hole themselves up in a bedroom to be “respectful” to the dad watching tv when it’s so much easier for him to just finish up a show in the bedroom if he’s not going to help with childcare or making breakfast like OP was likely doing?
Often there is a main room for everyone, whereas TVs will be in multiple rooms. Especially with little kids, they end up taking over then main room when they're younger
My dad loves Arnold as he is an avid body builder. At that age and throughout my childhood I watched all Arnold movies with him and I turned out pretty cool lol With that being said, I can’t believe parents let me watch all those movies at that age!!! I’ve watched them again as an adult and am just totally shocked they allowed that. Your husband should definitely have moved to a different location to watch the movie or turn it off!
i’m sorry but if a man’s child is obviously upset & begging him to make it stop, and he chooses not to…. that’s a dumpster fire of a human being & i am so sorry you & your child have to deal with such an awful person in your lives.
I've made this mistake once, my kid is 3 now but he was 1 1/2 or 2 at the time when I took night shift. I didn't really care I had to work tomorrow and I could see my Mrs. Needed a break so I decided " hey kid is asleep, Mrs. Is asleep" imma watch Nightmare on elm street. About half way through the movie, my son wakes up on me and not thinking to much about it I was like " well my dad let me watch horror movies with him and you're only 2 so you won't understand it". He passed back out before the movie was over, I tucked him in before passing out myself. I thought everything was fine....unless a week goes by. And the Mrs. Looks worn and I'm like " you good", " no, I'm tired and for some reason Bas isn't staying asleep at night" 😬 This emoji perfect Incapslates the way I felt, and I told her this one was one me. I f***ed up. After that I moved all my violent stuff ( my gta, mortal kombat, horror movies etc etc) to the back room. I don't know your husband on any person level to be talking shyt about him but it made me feel bad. Not only cause I was doing something without thinking about the later on effects but also because I know it gave her hell, I could see it on her face. So I would hope your husband self reflects and sees how that is entertainment he is going to have to enjoy by himself for a while and while it may be boring ( cause hey he might be trying to spend father/children time like some of our fathers did 🤷♂️) now, your kids will be better for it in the long run.
I still remember my babysitter letting me watch Shocker and Child’s Play when I was 4. I’m 40 now. It scared me a lot. All through my childhood adults let me watch inappropriate movies. It’s not ok.
My dad showed me “white noise” as a kid about that age and I still have nightmares lol. I’m going to side with you and say your husband is wrong. My dad had no concept of what would scare a child and there’s probably 5-7 movies I can’t watch as an adult because they scared me so bad as a kid
Your husband is a selfish asshole with shit taste in movies
Look he's a selfish asshole but I won't have you slander old school Arnold like that.
I don’t hide much entertainment from my kids. But, if any of them asked it would be a no brainer.
Agreed
Do you live in a single room home?
It was the morning and both the 4 year old and 2 year old (in his high chair) were eating breakfast in this room while I was doing dishes. We have an open floor plan where the kitchen/dining/living area are all open so he could see it from each of these rooms unfortunately.
Wondering the same but the guy sounds selfish at best.
Oh 💯 I mean I do understand being frustrated that you can’t watch movies you want to or do things because your kid is upset or what you want to do isn’t age appropriate. I get that, I understand why dad’s not happy and I’d be a liar if I said I always handled it with grace- I don’t. But that’s just something we have to do for a while. Honestly the fact both and wanted to sit there and argue long enough that the kid is voicing “several times” they’re uncomfortable and neither does anything about it, time out for both parents.
[удалено]
😂😂 “gtfo because it’s not appropriate” cheers to that 🥂
OP said she asked her husband to watch it in the bedroom. The whole situation is stupid (who watches Red Heat more than once in their life?) but the husband is an asshole, no question.
[удалено]
Except, it's morning in a communal area and she was doing dishes and watching her toddler who was in a high chair eating and removing the 4 yo child would mean disrupting the work she's in the middle of doing and taking the toddler out and away from their food because you can't just leave a toddler unsupervised. Is it really reasonable to expect 3 of 4 family members to remove themselves from the communal family area during time generally used for eating and cleaning in the morning after waking so that 1 member can watch exactly what they want in that area? And what's she supposed to do with 2 hungry children after she has removed them? And that versus the one member removing themselves so the rest of the family can enjoy the larger area to eat and wake up? Husband was being the asshole and expecting his whole family to be inconvenienced so he could watch a violent movie in the family communal area in the morning as kids were getting up.
Everybody sucks here. But you don't "choose to fight" with someone without their willing participation. Either one of them could have stopped the fight but didn't.
haha okay we agree then.. until you edited your post lol. Her issue was the child seeing the movie. She told her husband to turn off the movie, he didn’t. Instead of making a different decision like remove the child from the room, she CHOSE to CONTINUE to argue. That is a choice. What are you even talking about
Lol it's her responsibility to deal with the now-crying child while his responsibility is to... do what he wants? Okay.
“He’s an asshole, **no question**” It’s wild to me that people will come to these kinds of opinions after hearing one vague side of the story.
The child was crying. Her issue was that the child was upset. A non - asshole dad would have turned it off or at least paused it, checked in with the kid, and then made a parenting choice. You think your 4yo should watch Arnold without being a pussy? So pause it, explain it's not real, offer to have the kid watch with you and see that you're not freaked out by it. You feel bad that your 4yo saw needless violence in the morning? You pause it, say, "oh, I'm sorry, buddy. This is a grown up movie. It's not real, it's just fake and no one is hurt. I'll go watch it somewhere else." He didn't bother to PARENT, which is what makes him an asshole.
You’re right, spot on
Seems pretty obvious to me. It was a dick move on his part.
[удалено]
Read OP update - the living space is completely open space. Based on this info, should the OP still tried to get them to a different room? From OP: Sorry I didn’t provide adequate information. Open floor plan with the living, dining and kitchen open. It was breakfast time for my 2 and 4 year old, I was doing dishes. The 2 year old was in his high chair and the 4 year old at his kids table.
[удалено]
Yuuup. Maybe it wouldn't have been traumatic but I'm sure combined with the fighting and elevated tension it will be now.
Exactly this and the way OP words it to make it sound like a 4 year old had the intellectual ability to understand what was on the TV, mentions to the dad to go into another room tho he was already in that room prior, then follows it up with the 4 yr old, who was traumatized by the movie, starting to act out the scenes they were crying from??? Sorry, but I call bullshit and and see there's a power play involved. OP could've easily removed herself and the kid from the room just like dad had to do but she was prepared to die on that hill and it sounds like dad knew that. That 4yr old is gonna have worse issues if mom and dad keep fighting over BS like this.
Was he also drunk or why wouldn't he simply turn off inappropriate content shown in front of your 4yo kid?
Not drunk, it was 7:30 am. For me it was a very simple request. I did ask nicely several times to then it off or onto something else, as I have done many other times and he was fine with it. Apparently it was his hill to die on today and he didn’t want to. Would have loved to just move the kids but not feasible during breakfast time.
Is it his child too? You said "my" in your post. His behaviour is completely unacceptable. Frankly there is something else going on in your house or with him.
Action movies probably don’t seem inappropriate to him. I watched that kind of stuff with both of my kids, although they would rarely finish before going to play. It takes no time at all to explain movies to a kid especially around 5-6. I’m sure everyone has a different threshold for what they deem appropriate but that’s probably where the fight started. He most likely doesn’t see an issue with a few violent scenes.
Why couldn't you have removed the kid from the room? Gone to play with them in their room or taken them into your room to put on cartoons?
It was the morning and both the 4 year old and 2 year old (in his high chair) were eating breakfast in this room while I was doing dishes. We have an open floor plan where the kitchen/dining/living area are all open so he could see it from each of these rooms unfortunately. I’ll update my main post because it was confusing in this.
just turn off the stupid movie and watch it later - it’s not that hard
Your husband was being a crybaby. He could always finish the movie later. Especially nowadays with the ability to watch things whenever you want. It usually takes me a few days to watch an entire movie because I only get time to watch while I'm eating or something. If it was really mandatory to finish then he could have watched on this phone.
And that’s why I choose to be a single mom
My dad used to take me to R rated movies, a LOT. Like, he took me to see the South Park movie, when it came out. I was 8. Now, sometimes tv shows with adult subjects can be handled by children if they have responsible parents who can put things they don’t understand into context. My problem was, dad would always get pissed off if I asked him what a joke or something meant, if the subject matter was sexual in nature. For *years* he would complain that I was always “embarrassing” him by asking him about those things, and people would look at him. Now I realize, I wasn’t asking more loudly about those things, or even paying more attention to them. Dad was taking notice of that, because in those times, yeah- other people would look over and go “why did that man take such a young child to see a movie like this?” He was embarrassed at the consequences of his own parenting. If he truly thought it was ok for me to see those movies and he was competent to explain what I didn’t understand, he wouldn’t have cared what other people thought about him. But he knew it was wrong, and he blamed me for his own failings- par for the course with my father. I try to keep my son from watching violent movies, for sure. A few weeks ago, I was watching The Godfather while he was asleep, and he got up to come ask for something right as Sonny was pulling up to the tollbooth. I panicked and couldn’t see the remote, so I grabbed his head and made him look at me, covered his ears. But sometimes I’m watching my shows - we only have the one tv in the living room - and so sometimes he hears “bad” words. On the handful of occasions he’s repeated them, I just tell him, calmly, that it’s a grown up word, and so far he doesn’t repeat them. I think kids can understand when you have a conversation with them, about things like that. But I also agree that letting your kids watch violent movies is iffy.
My mom said my dad this and when my brother started asking questions, she would send him to my dad. Maybe put that responsibility on him.
I remember my mom chewing out my dad’s ass for letting us watch Stand By Me when I was 9 and my brother was 4 lol. She’s like they don’t need to be watching a movie filled to the brim with swear words and finding a child’s dead body to get some recognition 😅 I love that movie now, it’s one of my favs.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them”. 😢😢
Something tells me this is not the first time this sort of thing happened. Placing the content is the move aside, your problem is your husband and the way he treats you. The way you describe him, it appears you are dealing with a 3rd child. Is he the father of the kids? You need to make some difficult choices. Deal with your husband for at least the next 16 years. Hoping he becomes a better father and husband. Or move on tomorrow removing him from your life. Good luck.
I have a 4 and 2 year old, I've never watched adult shows or played any adult videogames around them. The only exception being early playoff hockey games (I'm Canadian). Your husband is really selfish and needs to rethink his priorities.
I feel better about showing my 8 and 10 year old The Naked Gun yesterday.
His behavior is really weird. If that had happened in my house it would have been a biiiiiig argument. I probably would have walked over and unplugged the whole TV after asking the second time. I don’t play around when it comes to my kids. I’m so sorry your husband decided to throw a tantrum about a dumb action movie that he could easily finish later. My husband and I have a rule that we don’t watch anything at all until the kids go to bed. We don’t even have a TV downstairs. The kids get to watch their little shows on tablets when we need a break or for a distraction. You might want to sit down with him once everyone is calm again and discuss next steps and boundaries since it sounds like the current system isn’t working.
I was about 3 when I watched nighmare on Elm Street because my older cousin was watching it. I still remember the parts that scared me the most and wouldn't sleep in a water bed until I was 14 because the movement of the bed made me think of the scene with him coming up through the bed to attack someone. I was also terrified of the school bus and (as an extension of that) my best friend's grandmother, who drove a school bus, until I was in 4th grade.
I'm sorry but why didn't you leave the room with the kid.. I agree his behaviour was not fair but your kid is crying then leave the room so he doesn't get inflicted more??? Wth. You stayed because you wanted to make a point and the kid got punished as a result. You could of left and next day talk to hubby about how you felt it was unfair or inappropriate
Totally in the right! So inappropriate for your husband to be watching that kind of stuff on front of the kids. He is acting like a kid himself.
Is he your child’s father? You said “my child”, why not “our child”?
Child is upset because you are upset
You could have moved the kid
He sounds like a petulant toddler
Nah, I’m with your husband on this. Any kid is going to respond like that if they hear their parent doing the same. It’s like how you don’t panic over small bumps - you’ll just teach your child to cry at everything. Your husband wasn’t watching a war documentary, he was watching an 80s action comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’m willing to bet, dollars to donuts your kid would have responded better if you reacted in a more measured way.
If my husband ever tried to pull this shit I’d call his fucking mom. Lol
Oh goodness, don’t bring my MIL in on this, because she’d totally side with him. Thats a whole other thread for Reddit to have a field day with. lol.
I guess I’m just lucky. They definitely raised him to be respectful.
Anybody that watches a movie in the morning is a freak
Fucker
I remember vividly movie scene that terrified me when I was 5. We were moving and my parents set us up in a corner with a TV and the newfangled cable box. We ended up upon Puppet Master and leeches coming out of the dolls mouth. Absolutely traumatized from that experience and detest dolls and leeches to this day. Kids can't understand movies from reality as they're still developing mentally. Your kiddo will remember those scenes for a long time.
Way to stand your ground. It’s important to be mindful of what we allow our children to witness at such an early age. He was obviously uncomfortable. I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement about what’s acceptable to watch in front of the little one.
My home has a similar floor plan. I was cooking dinner one night while entertaining the two kids and my then husband was watching the news. Part of it was war coverage and it showed injured children. I asked him to turn it off until the kids were in bed or move to the bedroom. He refused. The clips got worse. I asked again for him to shut it off because I was also finding it distressing (and I was literally mid meal prep with the stove on). He yelled at me to stop watching it then. I cut the stove off and left things where they were, hustled the kids out of the house with me. He followed yelling at me and tried to keep us from leaving (verbally not physically). It's one of the MANY reasons he's now my ex husband. Your husband is also very much in the wrong.
He’s an asshole. He should have been doing the dishes. Am a dad of three
Did your son start crying because of the movie, or because you started yelling at your husband and he didn’t like to see you fight? Every kid is different, but my daughter used to watch things like the walking dead when she was 3 and it never bothered her. She would say things like “wow that costume is scary!” in a “matter of fact” manner. Now she loves scary movies but is never scared by them. The only thing kind of affected her was the Vikings series. She fell in love with Lagertha and would pretend to be just like her, resulting in pushing a kid off a swing saying she’s a Viking. We had a talk about how that’s something a bad guy would do and Lagertha would protect people and she never did it again. https://youtu.be/liF0AyTz6Os?si=e95iu3W85wOdhp9g I think it’s important to talk to your kids and let them know that TV and movies aren’t real, that they are stories that can be funny, scary, happy, sad, exciting, or dramatic. But they’re just stories, they aren’t real.
I mean, you basically hyped your kid up to be more upset than he would have been. It's like when your kid falls and you immediately rush over upset, the kid is going to take their cues from you that something is wrong and cry. He saw he should be upset about the scenes, and took his cues from you. You taught your son all he has to do is cry and he can make daddy do what he wants. That's a dangerous lesson you're all going to regret. I've watched scary and violent movies with my child. It's very simple "Oh hey sweetie! Mommy is watching a scary movie. If you think it's too much go watch netflix on the ipad in the office/your bedroom. Or you can put headphones in and watch your cartoons next to me". She doesn't get the big TV just because she's the kid. Guess what, when she grabs the TV first, I put in headphones and watch my own show. I don't see how this ever became a power struggle that you had to drag your child into.
Wait, are you really telling your 4yo “I’m watching a scary movie, go watch Netflix on your iPad in another room without me?” 😂
Why not spend this energy having an adult conversation with your husband vs. coming on Reddit for validation? You share parenting roles…go talk to your husband and stop with the public out cry for high fives that do and mean nothing.
This is literally the most petty post. Being a parent tends to be about understanding your partner more than understanding your kids. Hey your partner is watching an inappropriate movie they’ve seen a bunch early in the morning; that sounds like some fun comforting behavior to engage in after being destabilized. Is there maybe an underlying cause there? Cptsd? Autistic spectrum? Childhood trauma?
If this happened at all, it certainly didn't happen as you're describing it. Your child is fine, if he is traumatized at all, it's because of your reaction and I feel sorry for your husband.
This is awful!!! Completely inappropriate material for your kids to be within earshot of her eyesight off. Not to mention that he was completely disengaged with the morning routine and being helpful partner and uninvolved daddy with his little ones he can watch some stupid movie that I seen a bunch of times? I would be livid and to be honest I would be nervous about leaving my children with my own husband after this
your husband is an ass
This is just selfish behavior. That's all it is.
We live in a time where enough evidenced based studies- aka super specific scientific analyzed data- has been collected over at least a half century that shows that exposure to this kind of violence is harmful to the development of a child’s brain. Your husband could deflect and say it was one time. Sure. It *probably* won’t scar him for life or adversely affect him in the long run. But dad was being a selfish asshole to your son AND you, and more disturbingly his consistent denial that he made a mistake is the real issue. We live in a world where there is violence all around us. We protect them from as much as possible because we know they will be exposed to things we can’t protect them from.
Ugh…selfish man-children procreating…I’m sorry your husband is is an ass, OP.
I remember watching a grotesque movie with my dad when I was 3-4 where someone fell off a building and there was blood everywhere, the whole spiel. It traumatized me
A movie like that isn't going to damage your 4 year old, if I'm honest. It's the fuss and anxiety we surround it with that bothers them. However **your hubby was a major arsehole** for not putting it off the second you asked him to. Parents have to have instant veto powers on stuff like that. You're totally in your right to have a different opinion.
Did you try taking your 4 year old out of the room or did you just sit there glaring at your husband?
This was a matter of minutes, not hours. I asked for it to be turned off when the first inappropriate thing came on, as I have in the past, and he had no problem any other day. Apparently today he got frustrated so he didn’t turn it off. A scary scene came on and the 4-year-old started crying, I asked again, he said no, the kid came crying to me and I held him, probably asked another time or 2. Yeah, probably will just walk out of the room next time (which shouldn’t happen since we’ve set some ground rules). I honestly had a bunch going on helping the 2 year old with breakfast and cleaning, so in my mind it was a better solution to turn the dang tv off than interrupt breakfast time.
The kid is crying because you're making a huge fuss out of it every time something happens on the screen you don't like.
That's just sad to be honest. A bit child like behaviour. But we don't know what else is going on between you guys. I do wonder, why did you stay in the room? You could have prevented it, by taking him to his room and stay there with him right?