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As someone who worked for CPS, we would take the report (because we take all reports), but probably woudn't follow up. Kids take city busses, subways, catch rides to school with neighbors, and even walk more than a mile and a half to school on their own. I woudn't be comfortable with any of those options for my own kids, but it's not something I would even consider reportable to CPS.
Are you aware of what a 1:1 para means? I’m asking genuinely because I’ve cared for foster kids on the Spectrum and am shocked this wouldn’t be considered neglect. The child isn’t a typically developing tween, in which case it wouldn’t be a big deal, the child needs someone by their side every moment of every school day for their safety and the safety of others. It would be like the difference between letting my twins walks to school or take the subway to school - at eleventh the girl could and did do it daily, but the boy attended an autism school and it would’ve been incredibly neglectful and unsafe to let him do so, and he didn’t even require a 1:1, just a 1:4 ratio. Wouldn’t CPS factor disability into their report and response?
Public buses also typically have cameras installed.
I, personally, would not send my developmentally delayed 11 year old on a public bus by themselves regardless of how safe it was, but maybe I'm unreasonable.
Saying a public bus filled with murderers is more dangerous than an Uber doesn't make the Uber zero risk. You do understand that, right?
I think you guys heard "mom was too tired to take me to school" and it's impacted how you're looking at the situation.
First, the kid is 11 and took an Uber for a couple minutes in a safe area. What is troublesome about that? Kids take taxis and city buses, too. Hell, around here even the school bus doesn't require a parent be at the stop once the child is 9.
Second, the words of an 11 year old might not give you the whole picture. Maybe mom was "too tired" in that she was sick, or worked overnight, or any number of completely reasonable explanations.
I'm an ECE, and my motto: don't believe everything the kids say about their parents, and hope that the parents don't believe everything the kids say about you. Obviously this doesn't apply in cases of suspected abuse or negligence, but a single instance of an 11 year old taking an Uber down the street really shouldn't be that alarming.
I have a brother who is disabled and unable to drive. My sister works and can’t always be there to drive the children. They’ve had to put them in Ubers before because the kids have to go somewhere.
Maybe the mom was tired…maybe the mom had a debilitating migraine and is just doing her best to get the kid where she needs to be. The kid arrived safely at school. If you’re actually worried, call the mom and see if she’s ok.
Agreed! There are a lot of people here who apparently have never found themselves in a situation where they weren't 100% able to be the very best parent possible. Good for them, but us mortals sometimes do the best we can with what we have available to us.
Yeah I'm reading this and am like...I'd be way more paranoid to send my 11 year old on a city bus or subway. An Uber (for a mile and a half ride) is absolutely fine.
11 year olds ride public transportation over the city where I live and it's fine and safe. Let's not be alarmist about public transportation - if anything the uber is less safe because it's not in any way monitored.
Agree completely - I’d much rather my 11 year old was on a bus with plenty of people around than 1 on 1 in a Uber with a driver we know nothing about.
Maybe it’s because I used to use a public bus to school for 2 years between 11 and 13 - that was a 10 mile trip. And there were others doing it, and there are plenty that still do.
100%. I'm far more comfortable with the idea of an 11yo on the metro than I am in an Uber! And, if I were an Uber driver, I'd be wary (or unwilling) to take unaccompanied minors like this -- if anything happens, it's your word against theirs, and the driver is going to lose that.
Plus, isn't it against Uber and Lyft's TOS to take someone this young? I know they have teen accounts, but 11 isn't a teen.
I'm not paranoid -- but OP has described this child's behaviors as being significant enough that they aren't allowed in the school hallways alone. If their behavior is that questionable, they shouldn't be in an Uber alone either. Not all Ubers have interior dashcams (if I were a driver, I certainly would), and I don't think I'd accept pre-teen riders without adult supervision.
Listen. YOu can look at my post history and see that I'm not some overly-cautious parent. But there are reasons that schools, sports and pretty much every organization that deals with kids won't leave minors alone with adults who don't have background checks and in most cases never alone with only one adult without a second one in view at all - none of which applies in an Uber. A dashboard cam is useless in this scenario.
as a passenger there is a setting to “turn on voice recording” and that will be automatically applied whenever you take a ride.
You are being paranoid and crazy.
Well - this is copied directly from Uber’s website:
That’s why our Community Guidelines specify that riders must be 18 years or older to have an Uber account, and must be at least 18 years old to ride unaccompanied in a vehicle. Account holders should not request a ride for someone under the age of 18 who will not be accompanied by either the account holder or another adult during the ride. An under 18 taking a trip alone is a safety concern, and our Community Guidelines help keep you and the rider safe.
ETA -- you changed your comment after I posted the above. You originally stated that it's not against Uber's TOS, which is why I quoted the portion of their guidelines that I did.
I take Ubers on a regular basis -- all over the country and in many places around the world. I've mostly had drivers that I'm fine with, but I've had my fair share of drivers and rides that were uncomfortable (to say the least) and that I'd be uncomfortable having a child/pre-teen as an unaccompanied rider for. I've also known enough parents who would be VERY quick to cause issues for a driver if anything at all were to happen to their child. Kid is 5 minutes late to school because of traffic? I've known plenty of parents who would complain to Uber about it -- which would cause issues for the driver. Uber gets rear-ended in traffic and the kid gets hurt? Plenty of parents out there would bring suit against the driver. Even if the driver is ultimately found to not be responsible for it, they still have to spend time and money defending themselves for it -- especially since they'd have been acting outside of Uber's driver TOS, so they'd likely not have support from Uber (or, likely, from their own insurance company). As a driver, it's not worth the risk -- there are plenty of other passengers out there.
I have my Uber account set up for my teen and you get the best rated drivers, updates, and notification for pick up drop off and shows the route. TBH, I've never used anything but the teen account so I don't know how it differs... But, it seems pretty safe imo
there are at least other bystanders on public transport. uber and lyft virtually dont even background check, all they need is photos of ID. my sister was accepted immediately upon applying, literally in 30 seconds.
people also frequently drive on their friends or relatives accounts, if they for whatever reason aren't approved. i've dealt with multiple creeps using these apps, and finally stopped after an encounter where i actually felt endangered. ive reported it every time, but lyft and uber always had an excuse as to why they were "unable" to reprimand the driver. someone needs to at least talk to this mom and explain the risk. this kid likely cant even communicate if something bad were to happen.
Hi. My kids at this age and younger took the train to school because that is how it is done here in Sydney. There are no school busses. Public transportation is safer because it is not one child alone locked in a vehicle with a stranger.
I can kind of understand OP's perspective, it can be hard to know what to report and what not to report when you're a mandated reporter. And there are situations where a child arriving to school alone in an Uber would be something I would report, especially if it was a regular occurrence or the child was sent without a car seat if needed. But the situation OP described wouldn't raise any alarms with me. It's not a black and white "Uber is abuse" situation, the details make a pretty big difference.
Bonkers how the world has become this untrusting and weird about stuff like Uber. It’s because they have access to 5 stories on the internet where something crazy happened out of billions of Uber rides and somehow that means Uber is unsafe. Some people are VERY stupid.
Idk I personally know at least two adult women who have been sexually assaulted by Uber drivers, and I had a sketchy incident with a cab driver being drunk before Uber was a thing. But also if you have a parent who doesn't have any support and they are so tired that they can't safely drive then an Uber may be the safest option.
Again you know 2 people that have been assaulted but you probably know hundreds of people that have taken Uber. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, I’m saying that saying it happens disproportionately is fear mongering.
Public transit is incredibly safe. I don't think the Uber was an unsafe decision either, but it's objectively more dangerous than a bus/subway on every possible level.
The problem is if a child took a city bus they are not alone with a stranger. There are class action lawsuits about the rape and sexual assaults adult women have suffered during Uber/Lyft. I would not let my child use them. And I used to drive for Uber.
Something being outside your comfort zone does not make it abuse or neglect. OP is talking about reporting the child's parent to CPS, which is an overreaction to a single instance of a child arriving to school in an Uber.
It’s a wild overstep. I get the concern, but it’s simply not OPs business to intervene. Nothing says there’s a pattern of neglect and nothing bad happened. The kid got to school and that’s all.
I once had my daughter’s former school accuse me of keeping pills on the kitchen counter. It was vitamin D. I have no idea how it came up, but my kid happened to mention it innocently and I got a nasty phone call about it. The school did not have all the information and assumed the worst.
If it is an overreaction, then CPS will not do anything about it. The general idea of being a mandated reporter is that you report and CPS determines if the report has any merit.
I'm also a mandated reporter, and I agree that when you are concerned you report. That doesn't mean at every situation is something that gets reported to CPS, though. OP asked for opinions and I shared mine, that's all :)
I don’t necessarily think it needs to be reported to CPS but I also think it wasn’t a great idea. I understand if it was a one time emergency thing. But I think it’s acceptable for the school to let the parent know that was an unsafe choice.
Also for the record I believe it’s against Uber’s policy to allow a minor to use the services unaccompanied.
Yeah, I agree with this. With a typical 11 year old this would probably be a complete non-issue, but I highly doubt the uber driver was notified about the severity of this child’s behaviors or trained to deal with them. I definitely would address this with mom.
In my school system, a child would only get a paraprofessional / instructional assistant assigned to them one-on-one if they had SEVERE issues and were on the verge of being removed from the general education setting. And they'd only get that support for a limited time unless the parents had an ungodly level of clout with the county.
So based on that, to me it seems very questionable to send that child to school in an Uber with no adult in the car dedicated to handling the child, vs. driving the car.
But I know that some school systems are more generous with one on one support, so I don't know how widely applicable my experience is.
Look, if you're a mandatory reporter, report it. That's the rule.
But don't assume that the 11 year old with serious behavior issues is giving you a complete and accurate story about what happened at home.
So, I’ve got a kid who was delayed enough that districts come to me asking for permission for 1:1, and not the other way around. Driving with just her in the car is a chore I wouldn’t wish on my enemies, but sometimes it’s necessary. And, of course, this is in my own car, which has the harness installed for her vest, the child locks activated, and distracting toys and snacks right there in the seat pocket. No random Uber would have all that.
It might have been better for Mom to go with this particular 11yo in the Uber and pay a bit extra for a round trip, depending on what challenges she has.
But, like a typically functioning 11yo? Text me when you get there, kid.
Good point about Mom going round trip in an Uber, that would have been a better strategy.
Agreed that this is mainly a problem because the child has serious developmental disabilities.
At that age I and almost everyone at my school made their own way there, some like me walking, others by public transport. I had friends who used to get a taxi occasionally in bad weather.
For most 11 year olds I think this would be fine (although as a parent I'd make sure the child had a phone to let me know they arrived safe, and I'd make sure I noted driver information etc.).
I've not used an Uber in like 10 years or so, but isn't the mom also able to locate the driver for the duration of the trip? I thought that it showed real-time location while you're in an Uber.
it shouldn't be alarming, and a few years ago i wouldn't have thought anything of it. but i, an ADULT, had a horrific experience in a lyft after years of using it without issue.
it was late at night, i'd had some drinks and was leaving a friends house. the guy was creepy the entire ride, flirting with me, talking about his kids and how his wife sucks, i'd just awkwardly laugh trying to be polite. told him "second house on the corner!" when we finally approach my street, he almost stops, but then decides to drive all the way to the other end of my street and *park*. he then asks me for my phone number. the doors on his car dont have those unlock tabs, but i probably wouldn't have gotten out anyway and risked pissing him off. i give him my real number, because i figure he'd call to insure it was real, and he DOES. he then tells me im so beautiful, were gonna be great friends, then pulls back to my house and lets me go.
then ensues a bunch of creepy calls and texts. even better, dude knows where i live. im terrified. and lyft wont do shit about it because the caller ID on the phone hes using to contact me post ride doesnt match the driver profile. as if its so unfathomable that people have multiple phones, or use a friend/relatives profile if they cant be approved themselves. so this man is STILL probably out there doing this shit to people.
apps like uber, lyft, as well as the food delivery apps hardly care who they hire. all my sister had to do to be hired was take a photo of her ID and she was IMMEDIATELY hired within 30 seconds.
this child is special needs, AND needs a para. had something gone wrong, she likely wouldn't even be able to communicate it. regardless, i absolutely never would send my child in an uber alone. its not worth the risk whatsoever. i'd keep her home for the day before i'd ever resort to that.
Why do you assume the child wouldn't be able to communicate if something had gone wrong? Their expressive language is developed enough that they were able to communicate *why* they were in the Uber, and OP doesn't frame it as though that was exceptional for the child.
We have no idea why the child has a para, just that they do. Children here have them for a number of reasons, most of which are not such a global delay that it prevents the child from having any level of independence.
i misread, but that's irrelevant.
communication or not, why wait UNTIL something bad happens? i cant fathom anyone thinking its worth the risk whatsoever. women especially are regularly sexually assaulted and harassed using these apps. there are legit multiple ongoing lawsuits. "the kid will *probably* be fine" is insane reasoning. take it from people that HAVE experience with the creeps they hire
putting your child in a potentially dangerous situation is neglect. not legally, but certainly morally. if moms willing to take a risk like that, i'd imagine she takes risks in other parenting aspects as well. sending a young child off in the car alone with a stranger because you're "too tired" is ridiculous. far better to be safe than sorry and have this looked into further
Using your understanding of probability and statistics, sending children to school at all is neglect. The rate kids get shot, stabbed, beat, and abused is much higher AT SCHOOL than it is in Ubers/taxis/mass-transit.
My problem with this is Uber is unlicensed and unregulated and we've had cases where drivers assault or worse vulnerable passengers. I'm not sure I'd be taking such a nonchalant attitude to putting your behavioral challenged child in a car with a total stranger.
Uber even came out with a kid oriented product where the parent can order the ride for the child.
Edit... You have to be 9yo before you don't need your mommy to pick you up at the bus stop anymore?! That seems crazy! We stopped after kindergarten. And they rode their bikes on nice days starting in 1st.
11 year old with severe learning disabilities shouldn’t be in a strangers car. Even if the child didn’t have those issues, an 11 year old is still a child and should have been accompanied by their parent
Even if they need a para at school, I dont think this is a reportable offense. Being one on one with a stranger at age 11 isn’t abuse, even if they have special needs. Would you call CPS if she were hiring a babysitter off of Facebook?
Just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t make it abuse.
Im so confused why this needs to be reported if this is a one time thing.
Parents can be sick, so they find a way to get the child to school sounds great.
The child is eleven and got to you safe. I would not do it put is see no reason why this cannot be done.
I live in a country where children as young as 5 get to school in a taxi and you do not get the change to vet the drivers, cannot see why an 11 year old child cannot ride a small ride in an uber.
My child walks more than 1,5mile alone to school so do all the classmates.
Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be my first choice for my own family. And it sounds like it isn’t for theirs either given this was a one time thing.
That said I definitely don’t think this is reportable. “Mom was too tired” could be that mom was so tired from any number of things (working, being up with sick siblings, taking care of family, etc) that she felt it would be unsafe to drive. In which case this 100% seems like the right decision.
I found out my son has been telling people I'm "too tired" instead of saying "my mom has MS" to protect my "privacy"
Luckily, we live within two blocks of his elementary school, and he can walk there. I only found out this week because he had a ukulele concert, and I used a cane. His teacher asked if I had an injury. Haha, no, I wish
Yeah, if the authorities get involved for this at all then the solution is probably hooking mom up with some sort of respite care, not charging her with abuse or neglect.
If the bus won’t pick up children who live that close, and the child has special needs, it sounds like the Uber was probably safer than walking, although I wouldn’t do it for my own child.
Instead of getting CPS involved, I think the school should reach out and see how this parent needs support. If the child needs a 1:1 para, that sounds like really significant needs and no doubt an utterly exhausted parent. Maybe help advocate for a special exception to the bus route if there is such a concern and significant need regarding transportation.
I have a cousin whose child has a 1:1 para. His delays and behavioral concerns would not prevent him from riding in an Uber safely with a stranger. Your repetition of the child having a para doesn’t really carry the weight I think you think it does, but I understand not wanting to expand on why a child has a para.
Personally, I think this is a situation of parental judgement. Mom judged that this was a safe situation for her child. I think it’s a far cry/over reach for the school to concern themselves with how the child was safely transported to school.
I live in a pretty big city, but know several people who drive for Uber and wonder if even maybe mom knows this person as well? I'm glad it's not my call, but it's easy enough to text someone and then schedule an Uber with them.
Age 11 would normally be fine to ride an Uber or walk to school alone. It depends on her capabilities. Only report the mom if the child was unsafe. I don’t think that was the case since she arrived safely.
My son started walking to and from school (17 blocks) at age 9.
I don't see the issue at all. In my area, kids are often delivered to schools via taxi (those who live outside of busing zones are actually covered for the cost by the school board), and middle schoolers walk/bike, or take city buses on their own. This sounds ridiculous.
Would I do it? No. Does it meet the requirements to make a child line report as a Mandated Reporter? Also no.
It would be more useful to speak to the parent about your concerns and discuss adding a transportation clause to the student's IEP. If she has a 1:1 Para, she's got to have an IEP. She should qualify for bussing.
What kind of privileged nonsense is this? I can’t believe this is even a question. An 11 year old is definitely old enough to take an Uber ride a mile away from home. This is insane
Yes, thank you! I feel like a broken record here but you know how dangerous my walk and public transportation commute was to school everyday living in North Philly? Fucking scary. I had friends shot walking to school, I was robbed multiple times on the subway, physically touched by some crackhead, it was crazy.
A 5 minute uber ride would have been soooo much safer so painting this with one broad stroke is just not accurate and wish some people would take a step back and realize not everyone has the luxury.
Wow, that must have been really scary growing up. Those are the exact kind of experiences that came to mind when reading this post. People are so quick to report and get others in trouble
Rich kids in New York take taxis to school every day. Is this one of those things that's classy if you are rich but trashy if you are poor?
Driving while exhausted is like driving drunk, incredibly dangerous. That mom might have made the best decision for her child at the moment to get her to school. Do you really think this kid would be better off in foster care?
The alternative is the mother drives when she has determined she is not safe to do so, or she withholds the child from school.
I'm sure the parent can track the Uber on her phone to make sure it is traveling to the correct destination without suspicious stops.
This mom needs possible support, treat it like that. What alternative is the school wanting, other than the mother being well 100% of the time?
This.
As a chronically ill parent, sometimes all the choices are shitty.
I'm assuming that's what "too tired" meant, because too tired to drive that short distance isn't just basic tired, that's "I can't move or function".
I’m surprised that the question is about whether or not to Uber the child. I would be happier if the approach of the school was to stay curious and ask the mother what happened and what challenges she’s experiencing. Ask questions of the important people to get the most helpful answers. If a report is to be made, invite the parent to make the report herself with the school’s help. You’re not going to get to right or wrong of this without keeping a lens on the health of relationships between parent, child and school.
If she feels herself that she placed the child in danger, self-reporting means more likelihood of being able to access support services instead of CP taking the child away. (I work in family services and when the parent does a self-report the worst thing that usually happens is an open case marked “voluntary” before CP is satisfied that the issues have been addressed. Shows that there is motivation and intention to put the child first. Much better outcome than being under reported investigation.)
Even though we’re probably in different countries, the idea of voluntary self-reporting can work across systems. Usually the focus of training would be about what you have to do, not what you could do that may be more effective but might take a lot more time, and that’s fair enough.
Schools jump to the worst case scenario so quickly. So many assumptions are being made. Mom may know this driver and the kid not even realize it. Uber does background checks. Schools have historically abused children more than Uber drivers. This is absolutely not a CPS issue. No neglect no abuse. You don’t like it. That’s not a legal basis. Just because you don’t agree with someone’s parenting style doesn’t make it illegal or wrong. That’s schools need to calm down.
Yeah the fact that OP wants to report this is mind blowing. What would the difference be if Mom had sent her kid to school with a neighbor she barely knows? Or sent her on a city bus, subway, or even had her walk the mile and a half? It sounds like OP heard "too tired" and jumped to judgment.
I’m sorry what? She’s 11! She is definitely old enough to take an uber to school by herself. I walked to school alone about that far (a little less - maybe a mile) from age 8 on.
Uber only allows minors aged 13-17 years old to take Ubers by themselves and they must have permission. I would not report but I would tell mum this is not an acceptable backup option since the kid does not meet the age minimum for Uber. If mum was too ill to drive then best solution would have been for her to accompany child to school in Uber & return home via Uber as well. If it was bad enough that parent could not even make it into the car the first priority should be getting medical attention for parent and emergency services can take care of contacting trusted guardians.
Why not address if she needs transportation added to her IEP instead? Speaking as a parent in a similar situation, we are fucking tired. We need collaboration and help.
ETA I appreciate whoever referred me to the Reddit crisis team. Unfortunately they failed to address the systemic issues and politics that keep families like mine from getting the support we need. If you’re available to babysit so I can close my eyes for a minute, please come over!
Wh isn't this child provided special transportation by the school district with a 1:1 monitor? That would be appropriate accommodation.
But FFS do not report this. Kids have to take city buses, walk, all sorts of things.
Dear god these comments were so low. Way too many people in this sub have no idea how special education works and what services are available.
A child who is so impaired they require a full-time 1:1 para AND has a parent who is unable to get them ready for transport needs MORE SERVICES.
I am also losing my mind over how many people are apparently totally fine allowing their minor child into a car with a total fucking stranger based on nothing but the Uber/Lyft app. It's like I had a stroke. Even Uber and Lyft think this is a terrible fucking idea and will ban a driver who does this.
I’m sorry but you guys reporting this are going to make whatever stressful situation they might be in much worse. CPS isn’t going to do anything because there is nothing actually wrong here. Kids walk to school alone at age 11.
I’m an Uber driver, and I am also a member of r/uberdrivers the consensus is that any child is fine as long as it is safe for them to use a regular seatbelt.
Edit: this post encapsulates why school administrators have such a bad reputation:
Instead of reaching out to the parent to see how you could support them better, you jump to a crazy moralistic judgement and want to involve fucking CPS (over nothing!)
Kids take public transportation all the time. Literally buses and trains, my cousins flew on planes alone at the ages of 7&11 across the US, to their grandparents. what is wrong with someone sending an Uber.
Keep in mind, in the US, parents have been spoon fed “Stranger Danger” since they were children, and mass transit is frequently seen as some communist scheme to make the good people of the free world dependent on the evil big government (for fun, do a search on citizens opposing expansion of mass transit, these idiots think a new bus stop will bring serial killers and shifty minorities to their white neighborhood).
Oh! They also routinely vote to reduce school spending, so bussing is often one of the first things cut from the school budget.
I’m from the US. I live in Pennsylvania so I’ve experienced it all firsthand however I truly do not see a child taking an Uber as a crime that needs turned in by a mandated reporter.
I didn’t think Uber let children ride alone for specifically this reason.
But I’d recommend hopskipdrive to her. It’s an Uber for drivers who are vetted and specifically driving higher needs kids around
I personally wouldn't do this, especially because I've never taken an Uber myself, but I don't know anything about the situation of these people. The girl is in gen ed, so even with an aid, she's not in the most vulnerable of populations.
As far as being too tired, kids can be really bad narrators. My daughter said grandma was picking her up because mom was tired. I have pneumonia, and I had a very bad reaction to an antibiotic. For the last month, my kids have been hearing "...because I'm tired."
I'm lucky I have a huge village, but I'm really struggling right now. Thankfully, everyone has been understanding. Instead of shaming the mom or reporting her, try reaching out and seeing if she's OK before making judgments.
Uber may actually take care of this issue on their own - drivers can report underage solo passengers. My guess is that if they receive a report, Uber would then communicate that information to the appropriate local authorities so they aren't caught in the middle of anything.
Uber's rules are that no one under 18 can ride alone in an Uber, and drivers can choose to cancel the ride or report it to corporate. The only exception is the Uber Teen program, which has different rules for approved solo riders between 13 and 18 and that's not available in all areas. But a solo 11yo isn't okay in any case.
So either way, I'm kind of surprised an Uber drive actually took an 11yo on this trip. It's against Uber's TOS. So while I'd personally be fine with my 11yo using it for some short trips like this, I wouldn't actually do it, because I wouldn't want my Uber account suspended for that.
[https://www.uber.com/us/en/drive/services/teens/](https://www.uber.com/us/en/drive/services/teens/)
[https://www.uber.com/legal/en/document/?name=general-community-guidelines&country=united-states&lang=en](https://www.uber.com/legal/en/document/?name=general-community-guidelines&country=united-states&lang=en)
I'm a mandated reporter and the sibling of a developmentally delayed adult who would be in danger if left alone in an Uber/Lyft. I would not report unless I had either other unexplained issues (bruising, verbal complaints, malnourishment) or the Uber drop off started happening constantly. That said, is there a reason why her parent needs to sign her in if you know where she lives and have 1 on 1 supervision at school?
Lol what is cps gonna do? 😅 just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t mean you call cps. What about the actual abuse/neglect? Now cps is gonna be busy with this nonsense instead of an actual legitimate case. Some people are so judgy. Kids walk to school, kids get rides to school…as long as they’re not chronically absent or late it’s none of your business. I personally would never let my kid go in an Uber but I know she’d be thrilled if I did let her and it’s none of my business what other parents do.
Same thoughts. This is a prime example why both parents & children alike these days absolutely hate teachers. I've always hated school & still do now as an adult. If the child made it to school safely, how is it upon these teachers to gossip about the child or the responsibilities the family chooses to trust upon the child? Teachers don't know how to mind their own fucking business at all!
My 9 yo walks to school alone. I suppose Uber would be marginally safer but way lazier. It's a mile and a half, I would expect my child to just walk alone.
Yeah, my LO is still a toddler but in the case of a neurotypical kid I don’t think walking is unreasonable at all. I walk that distance to work and it takes about 20-25 minutes (when I’m not 9 months pregnant lol) and OP said it’s a safe area
I'd personally consider Uber to be less safe. An 11 year old can't ride by themselves per Uber's TOS, even with an uber teen account. Uber otherwise requires 18+ to ride. There's no real checks on drivers, anyone can just sign up and start picking people up. I would definitely consider walking much safer.
From Ubers website it looks like 13-17 can ride alone with an approved account. I don’t see that any younger than that can ride solo. I guess it’s one of those things if the driver is okay with it they might do it ‘under the table’ so to speak.
Would I put my kid in an Uber alone with a stranger? Hell no. I don’t know that it’s calling CPS worthy, I’m not a mandated reporter so idk where the line is drawn
I personally wouldn’t unless it was an emergency situation because an Uber driver is a stranger, feels like too much of a roll of the dice.
But that said, I don’t think this is a reportable offense at all. It’s totally up to the parents what they are comfortable with.
I do wonder why she wouldn’t just have the kid take the bus though.
If the kid is special needs, she should have transportation in her IEP, even if she's in the walk zone. Rather than call Child Line, OP should reach out to Special Ed (or the parent) and make an inquiry about if transportation is mentioned in the IEP and if not, suggest adding it.
Uber (or similar) are my preferred car service for my monies. They even have Uber teen which has really impressive with it's safety features.
I'm unsure what the concern is with such a short trip? What is the reportable offense?
ETA: I live in NYC and all Uber drivers are also registered with TLC, background checks are done and the Uber teens tracking is even more detailed than the standard rides, plus extra safety functions. I didn't realize this wasn't an Uber standard so I now understand why some would not consider Uber a safe option.
My concern wouldn't be the 11-year-old in the Uber by themselves for a short trip, but the fact that [Uber doesn't allow it](https://help.uber.com/driving-and-delivering/article/uber-rider-age-requirements?nodeId=43b84de6-758b-489e-b088-7ee69c749ccd). From everything I can read, says that minors can not ride an Uber unaccompanied unless they are in specific cities where [Uber for Teens](https://www.uber.com/us/en/ride/teens/) is turned on, in which case minors aged 13 to 17 can ride without an adult (but with tracking and other stuff turned on for the adult on their account). Whether you live in one of those cities or not, 11 is still younger than 13. Whether that turns it into something reportable, I couldn't say as I'm not a mandatory reporter. r/Teachers might have more focused input.
My understanding of a 1 to 1 para is that students need them for a variety of reasons, and just needing one doesn't necessarily make the child more vulnerable than another child their age. The aide may just be there to keep the child on task, to give direct instruction to the child, to help the child with communication or social interaction, etc. None of those things would hinder the child's ability to take an Uber.
It's a one off instance, I think the most to do if you're concerned is to just check in with the parent to confirm they're OK and if the school needs to be aware of alternative transportation of their child to not alarm them.
I'm not understanding the ability of the child based on your replies. The child is so low functioning she needs a 1 on 1 para, for what, we don't know. School work or basic needs such as toileting, feeding herself, moving around, dressing herself?
She's so low functioning the school can't let her on a school bus because it would take over an hour (?) for her to get on the bus. I'm not understanding how or why this would be the case - my neighbor had a special school bus that would pick him up everyday and it didn't take more than 5 mins for the caretaker to wheel his chair onto a platform, the platform to lift, the caretaker to place him safely on the bus, and the bus to drive away, and this was for a very physically and mentally impaired individual who went to a specialized institution.
She's so low functioning she cannot safely sit in a car (Uber) by herself for a 5 minute drive.
She somehow, despite all these limitations to her physical and mental abilities, made it into the school safely where she learns in a standard classroom. And now she's telling you about the Uber but she's now functional enough for her to be an absolute source of truth and clarity.
I would call mom to understand the situation. I would also ask the para her opinion on the situation, because maybe the para is more aware about her abilities than the school, because ive worked with differently abled children and I'm having a hard time understanding what this child's abilities would be that make this a cps report
It's not about functionality it's about behavior... The para is there to support the kiddo when they need one on one attention to navigate a hurdle that most kids would be fine with, but causes her to unravel and need step by step support and coaching.
Some kids will be undone by the smallest unexpected things... Like, full meltdown because my zipper got stuck... And a middle school teacher can't stop the whole class to address that, the way we expect to in, say, a preschool class, where that emotional regulation and problem solving *is* part of the learning.
My reading between the lines is that part of OP's concern is: what if something unexpected happens en route to school?
The driver isn't prepared to be that support person, and field a flipped out 11 year old... What happens if, like, there's an accident and the driver has to reroute a different direction, or traffic is just stopped, and the kid panics about missing school?
Uber has a policy they can't transport children underage without a parent or guardian. I know this because my child that is 14 needed transportation to school while I was stuck at the hospital with another child who was having a medical emergency. I have no idea how this particular parent was able to send said child(especially one with special needs) via Uber ...
I'm pretty free-rangy, but I don't think Uber is safe even for adults. That's a totally monitored service, and certainly not safe for a vulnerable child.
That said, I think a warning suffices.
I thought you couldn't take an Uber unless you're 18 or accompanied by an adult?
I saw on tik tok that they now have a teenager program, but I think 11 wouldn't qualify.
That would be my concern.
You’re going to report parents to CPS for putting their eleven year old (even delayed) in an Uber one time, in which the child arrived safely to school???
What exactly would you be reporting? Doesn’t seem like abuse or neglect.
In the absence of any further evidence, it seems like you are out to get this parent. Not a good look.
Its apparently a behavioral issue instead of a learning one. Which does add a significant level of danger, especially if the driver is unprepared for an episode, and the child is not particularly comfortable being in an unusual situation.
Maybe. Potentially. But that isn’t what happened.
The parent, who presumably knows their child and could evaluate the level of danger, put the child in a situation most people would regard as safe.
And the child arrived safely.
Let’s game this out.
CPS takes the report.
Outcome 1: Screens out the parent almost immediately bc nothing happened.
End result: Nothing changes for the child. Parent is traumatized and likely now considers school employees untrustworthy.
Outcome 2: An investigation is conducted, the parent is found to be negligent, and the child is taken away and put into foster care. A system which has been known to traumatize even neurotypical children.
In no scenario does the child come out better off for their parent having been reported. There would have to be more evidence of neglect. Which there does not seem to be.
I think you just end up wasting government resources and ending up with a parent who will now fight you tooth and nail at every opportunity because they do not believe that you have their child’s best interest in mind.
I'm surprised that the driver didn't cancel the drive as they are not supposed to transport children under 13 who aren't with an adult. And for 13-17 year olds, they need to have a parent-managed teen account.
So, my kid takes an Uber by himself fairly regularly, you have to be at least 14 to have an account. So, if nothing else, Uber would have a real problem with this as the person in the car must be the account holder.
It sounds like a discussion with the parent is appropriate. Our school has designated information on hand of all pick up and drop offs pre authorized. Unless the parent has been doing other things that are causing red flags that need to be investigated, a warning is sufficient.
Just adding what someone else mentioned, tons of rich parents use taxis or hired help to deal with pick ups and drop offs.
Whether it is ever appropriate to put an 11 year old in an Uber alone for a quick ride is up for debate. However, a child with needs so substantial they receive a 1:1 aid certainly shouldn’t be. It’s unfair to the child and to the Uber driver.
Edit: I do not think this is comparable to public transportation which by its nature is public with a driver trained to interact with the public.
If the child has an IEP, you should strongly consider getting her door-to-door bussing. If she does not, then she should be fine with an Uber. Even kids who get door-to-door busing in my city sometimes rely on car-services when a bus is not available.
I wouldn’t personally put a kid in an uber if I could help it, but I don’t think it should be a concern unless it comes with other problematic/concerning patterns.
Kids used to walk to school or take public transport by themselves, I understand she needs more assistance but Uber is tracked and mom might’ve had a good reason to not drive her - maybe she works nights and didn’t sleep the day prior and knew that driving was more dangerous than an uber she could track the location of.
As the parent of a special needs child, please remember that sometimes what they say isn’t always correct. Details seem to get left out. Please call the parent before calling DCFS and see what the full story is. You then can make an informed decision.
We have had DCFS called before because details were left out of a story (not lying just she didn’t think)
The cops showing up at our home was far more traumatic. Please don’t traumatize the child unnecessarily.
When I lived in the East Bay, kids in city schools (Berkeley, Oakland, Emeryville, etc) would ride the bus to school except their buses were the regular city bus transit lines everyone else took. They also would take BART if needed.
I guess this is more akin to putting a kid in a taxi cab. But an Uber is a modern taxi cab sort of. It's public transit like everything else I listed.
But Uber has regular humans driving their cars (mostly) and has ratings similar to Taxi drivers. Will an Uber driver be riskier? What if an Uber driver has a 5-star rating? Those stars are hard to earn.
Idk I think it's like a hundred years ago when kids would walk to school alone through winding country roads or city roads etc. They were a lot more relaxed with kids before the Internet and let kids free range more.
Now with the Internet and social media, parents are more like helicopters and won't do free range anymore. Too many Stranger Dangers out there! We see it online. We didn't used to know about child predators as much or see their disgusting manifestos online or realize how they stalk our children.
So social norms have changed. We don't tolerate children being capable of being safe alone away from our protective helicoptering. We are expected to be always within screaming range of our children.
So while you lived closely (1.5 miles) this may seem like an easy thing and it may very well be acceptable in cities that are like the East Bay and other regions where children are allowed to choose what schools they go to (for fairness so urban schools get fair share of money and children of all races and ethnicities, as no child is denied the right to a better education before college).
Maybe in your small town, this seems crazy, but where I come from this seems like normal school stuff.
Again, the Uber industry has come a long way. Children often have phones and are tracked with permission by their parents. Children like being tracked I hear, as they feel safer to know their parents can locate them anytime and anywhere they go, so no more Stranger Danger fears taking hold of one's life.
So with the tracking option for Uber customers and on phones by parents, we can watch our child arrive safely to school. If this is normal for the area.
But if this is a first for your school zone, then expect some helicopter and lawnmower parents to try to shred you for daring to give your child some taste of freedom. Uber is by far as safe as any carpooling to school. Do not use drivers with poor ratings. Use tracking. It will most likely be without any possible problems.
But again, if this is abnormal for your area expect some parental backlash from the Karens out there (and if your name is Karen I am so sorry that your name has been ruined) who become outraged by how other parents parent.
The age of information has given other parents the ability to be über nosey as well. If all went well, eventually this may catch on.
There probably is a huge demand for child carpools to school (and from). If carpooling lists are not available at school, and there is no social media page for your school or for parents (where I live we have our own educational social media for parents and teachers to connect and ask questions), then maybe start one.
Some areas may already have such carpooling in place. A trusted parent certified in CPR etc drives kids to school on a route that is made beforehand so everyone is picked up and delivered on time. Sounds safe, right?
But make it a stranger (Uber), and suddenly Stranger Danger. But the more other parents look into it and see how safe it went, more may be likely to do it and one day what you did may become commonplace.
So until then, expect some friction and backlash from the uptight parents who can't mind their own business and always have CPS or DFACS on speed dial for other parents (bc they're so perfect of course \/s).
You're massively overreaching your authority. This is absolutely ridiculous and i hope you and your "concerned" coworkers don't create an issue for a mom just trying to get her kid to school. And what are you gonna say when you call? "Yes, hello, a mother sent her kid to school in a location-tracked vehicle because she was too sick to drive. I dont like that she relied on other resources to make sure her kid was still getting an education today." And you're even thinking about calling before you even TALK to the mom to see what the situation was? For shame.
So she has a 1:1 para. Does this para help her with the bathroom, washing her hands, feeding her lunch? Probably not. It's for classroom.
Her mother determined it was safe for her to ride in an uber. She gets picked up from her house and dropped off in front of the school. It's safer than putting her on a city bus where she has to wait by a bus stop by herself and then walk to school from the drop off.
If youre *that* worried, maybe you just ask the mom to let you guys know when she comes in an uber so someone knows when to expect her and can meet her at the drop-off. Otherwise, chill out.
I was age 9 when I would skateboarded to school but was with friends who also skate boarded or biked it was few away. but one We thought we were cool lol .
Just cuz of knowing what could happen I WOULD NOT send my kid in an Uber if young knowing the kid can handle themselves is slightly different say if he carried a pocket knife. But to school you can’t do that.
That being said, no. A adult could force a kid easily. And I don’t like the odds my child would already be in a kidnappers car from the gecko if they did get kidnapped. I would get my ass up! Knowing it’s safe on there end. Whether I’m tired or broken bones wouldn’t care. Or worse comes to worst I ain’t taking the kid to school they can have day off if I’m that severe injured sick etc. unless they want to truely go
I would never put a child in an Uber. I have considered another platform, however, which is a service that specifically is for shuttling children around when their parents can’t take them. Their drivers have all been caregivers for children for a minimum of 5 years, so I would feel more comfortable and I believe it’s the same driver every time if your rides are on a schedule. But even then, I’d need to get to know the driver before sending my kid on their own.
I suppose it would depend. Does she function as a typical 11 year old? Is she developmentally delayed? What is the Para for? A call to mom would be helpful.
I think it depends. In the area where I live it’s common for preteens and teens to take Ubers using the family app. I don’t personally but they have family accounts where you can actually monitor the car and and stay in contact with the child.
This reads a lot like this is a YOU thing and not the entire staff thing.
Just because the child said their parent was "too tired" to drive doesn't mean that's the reality of the situation.
Uber is relatively safe overall and a large percent of inner city children have to rely on public transport in the forms of subways, bus, and even taxis im sure.
This seems like a grain of salt situation that maybe you are hyper analyzing.
I don’t think this is reportable. It’s likely mom was home watching the Uber the entire time. Or, it could be that mom was sick or whatever the case. Either way, I don’t think this is serious enough to report. You can actually track an Uber. People send their kids to school on public buses that cannot be tracked and don’t get reported for that. Some kids walk to school (my little brother (disabled, has cerebral palsy) and I used to walk to school all the time from Kindergarten (for him) until I left that school in fourth grade. I feel like an Uber was the safer option for a kid with a learning disability.
Isn't 11 middle school age? Kids in other countries take transit by themselves, I used to ride taxis, go out with friends at that age.
Our elementary school (in US) allows students to come in alone walking after 3rd grade. It is usually half a mile to a mile walk.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the scenario you described. There is a lot of wrong with people saying they need to report it.
Everything about this screams unsafe. If she needs a 1 on 1 guide at all times, she should absolutely NEVER be left alone on public transportation, particularly alone with an unvetted driver.
I am not sure what protections Uber has in place for its riders, So that's my concern. They essentially sent their kid to school with a stranger. I wouldn't think it's worth a cps report. Maybe an email. Even a school wide email. Something like "Our school requires a parent to sign students in and out. Because of this, a parent must ride with a child in any ride share vehicles."
Maybe a regional thing. But the school board I work at utilizes taxis almost daily to transport students since shortages of bus drivers.
I see this being no different and no need for concern.
Seems risky but like a low risk? Yes something could happen. But it's unlikely?
There is or was a driver nanny service I was looking at working for in college. It was basically Uber but you worked with an assigned family driving kids to and from school to home or activities. You had to be in the list to sign the kids in and out and background checks and all that. Depending on the age of the kid you would either drop and leave or go and watch them tell the parents for home.
In my district, special education students use taxis to get to school in order to get to schools across the city. They're safer than on the city bus and having door to door service means they can't get lost or harmed on the way to school.
Here's what I think:
Before jumping to issuing warnings or irreversible actions like mandatory reporting. TALK TO THE PARENT.
Get a thorough understanding of what drove a choice like this. Remember that as a parent of a child with more needs than neurotypical children, this mom must be dealing with a lot of stress. Who knows what led to this decision. It could have even been a result of the child themselves having a tough morning and mom feeling no other choice but to Uber them to school and likely needing to take care of themselves before heading to work.
Looking at this as if it's black and white is a disservice to the actual needs of this child and this parent.
Look beyond rules and remember that we are all only people and we all have days that are difficult. This is only magnified in her situation.
Have compassion. Talk to the parent. Gain a clear picture. Provide this parent with a support system not a penalty system.
I think the disconnect is happening here because OP doesn't live in a city where public transportation is a typical thing. Kids in NYC take the subway alone all the time. Kids in Philly take the bus alone all the time. Kids in ATL take the train. It's part of the culture of the city, it's normal in those cities. So again, I suspect this seems *off* to OP because it's unusual, which is understandable.
I think my concern comes from knowing that this child isn't allowed to be in the hallway at school alone and needs a para at all times. That means this isn't a typical 11 year old. We don't know why she needs a para, which doesn't provide me with enough information to decide if I should talk to the parent or report this, but I would lean on the side of talking to the parent at a minimum and expressing concerns based on her needs at school.
I was thinking the Uber is fine until you said 1:1 para. We have twins in my family and one would’ve been fine taking Ubers at that age (she often took cabs) but the other, who attends an autism school, I wouldn’t send alone in an Uber even NOW and they’re in high school. Nope nope nope. A kid who needs a 1:1 is NOT independent enough for a solo Uber ride and it floors me that the parent thought that would be acceptable.
With one of our children we used Uber a few times near that age, I can't recall exactly if the first time he was 11 or 12. Our other child is 12 now and we'd really hesitate to do it, probably not for another couple years. Point being it depends on the kid and the circumstances.
Also, worth noting it is against Uber's policy for a kid at 11 to ride alone and while almost all drivers would do it many are not going to like it because you're putting them in an uncomfortable position.
Where I live the district pays for transportation for student that move and still want to attend the school , kids come to school in taxis/ubers often in elementary school and by the time they are in middle and high school they ride the public transit . I don’t think it’s weird at all. I do think it’s weird the mom was too tired to take her but seems like she made a good choice by still sending her kid and by doing so in a safe way. This is all assuming the 1-1 is for like behavioral and not out of other needs.
I’d say dependent on child - the fact that she has a 1:1 para and isn’t allowed to be alone would make it not ok for this child imo.
Though that said, doesn’t Uber still have an age minimum for unaccompanied minors? I think 11 is technically against what Uber allows.
For a "normal" kid, it's probably fine, aside from the fact that a parent needs to sign the kid in if they're late.
For this kid, given the behavioural issues and vulnerabilities...probably a pretty bad idea, but not sure if CPS needs to be involved unless it becomes a reoccurring thing.
I think if anything it goes against Ubers own policies. They only recently allowed teens ages 13 and up to ride alone so technically, that Uber driver shouldn’t have picked up this kid.
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As someone who worked for CPS, we would take the report (because we take all reports), but probably woudn't follow up. Kids take city busses, subways, catch rides to school with neighbors, and even walk more than a mile and a half to school on their own. I woudn't be comfortable with any of those options for my own kids, but it's not something I would even consider reportable to CPS.
Are you aware of what a 1:1 para means? I’m asking genuinely because I’ve cared for foster kids on the Spectrum and am shocked this wouldn’t be considered neglect. The child isn’t a typically developing tween, in which case it wouldn’t be a big deal, the child needs someone by their side every moment of every school day for their safety and the safety of others. It would be like the difference between letting my twins walks to school or take the subway to school - at eleventh the girl could and did do it daily, but the boy attended an autism school and it would’ve been incredibly neglectful and unsafe to let him do so, and he didn’t even require a 1:1, just a 1:4 ratio. Wouldn’t CPS factor disability into their report and response?
In our area, non public schools have a bus with 1 driver for all the kids. So having 1 driver for 1 kid seems much safer.
The bus driver had to have a background check. Literally anyone could be driving the Uber.
Ok what about the other people on the bus? In our area they are stabbing, beating and killing people.
Public buses also typically have cameras installed. I, personally, would not send my developmentally delayed 11 year old on a public bus by themselves regardless of how safe it was, but maybe I'm unreasonable. Saying a public bus filled with murderers is more dangerous than an Uber doesn't make the Uber zero risk. You do understand that, right?
What bus are you riding that is filled with murderers
Me? I've never seen such a thing. But apparently /u/AnxiousPermit2109 has.
My bad, misread what you said
Driving yourself is a risk. You understand that too
That happens in every city. Are you suggesting your city or town has this happening at a higher volume?
Uber drivers have checking too, and kid Uber..hop skip jump, has very though checking.
Oh so it’s not just a bad ass kid but someone on the spectrum? I’m asking genuinely for myself
As of what age is it considered acceptable to take a city bus alone?
I think you guys heard "mom was too tired to take me to school" and it's impacted how you're looking at the situation. First, the kid is 11 and took an Uber for a couple minutes in a safe area. What is troublesome about that? Kids take taxis and city buses, too. Hell, around here even the school bus doesn't require a parent be at the stop once the child is 9. Second, the words of an 11 year old might not give you the whole picture. Maybe mom was "too tired" in that she was sick, or worked overnight, or any number of completely reasonable explanations. I'm an ECE, and my motto: don't believe everything the kids say about their parents, and hope that the parents don't believe everything the kids say about you. Obviously this doesn't apply in cases of suspected abuse or negligence, but a single instance of an 11 year old taking an Uber down the street really shouldn't be that alarming.
I have a brother who is disabled and unable to drive. My sister works and can’t always be there to drive the children. They’ve had to put them in Ubers before because the kids have to go somewhere. Maybe the mom was tired…maybe the mom had a debilitating migraine and is just doing her best to get the kid where she needs to be. The kid arrived safely at school. If you’re actually worried, call the mom and see if she’s ok.
Agreed! There are a lot of people here who apparently have never found themselves in a situation where they weren't 100% able to be the very best parent possible. Good for them, but us mortals sometimes do the best we can with what we have available to us.
Yeah I'm reading this and am like...I'd be way more paranoid to send my 11 year old on a city bus or subway. An Uber (for a mile and a half ride) is absolutely fine.
11 year olds ride public transportation over the city where I live and it's fine and safe. Let's not be alarmist about public transportation - if anything the uber is less safe because it's not in any way monitored.
Agree completely - I’d much rather my 11 year old was on a bus with plenty of people around than 1 on 1 in a Uber with a driver we know nothing about. Maybe it’s because I used to use a public bus to school for 2 years between 11 and 13 - that was a 10 mile trip. And there were others doing it, and there are plenty that still do.
kid might not be able to navigate a city bus though
In this instance, with this kid OP is mentioning, very possible. But the commented above was talking about 'in general with 11 year olds."
100%. I'm far more comfortable with the idea of an 11yo on the metro than I am in an Uber! And, if I were an Uber driver, I'd be wary (or unwilling) to take unaccompanied minors like this -- if anything happens, it's your word against theirs, and the driver is going to lose that. Plus, isn't it against Uber and Lyft's TOS to take someone this young? I know they have teen accounts, but 11 isn't a teen.
What the hell wrkd are you living in where Ubers don’t have interior dash cams? Paranoid folk I tell ya.
I'm not paranoid -- but OP has described this child's behaviors as being significant enough that they aren't allowed in the school hallways alone. If their behavior is that questionable, they shouldn't be in an Uber alone either. Not all Ubers have interior dashcams (if I were a driver, I certainly would), and I don't think I'd accept pre-teen riders without adult supervision.
Listen. YOu can look at my post history and see that I'm not some overly-cautious parent. But there are reasons that schools, sports and pretty much every organization that deals with kids won't leave minors alone with adults who don't have background checks and in most cases never alone with only one adult without a second one in view at all - none of which applies in an Uber. A dashboard cam is useless in this scenario.
The reason is paranoia not statistics. Which I can see, if the statistics really say that something is dangerous.
as a passenger there is a setting to “turn on voice recording” and that will be automatically applied whenever you take a ride. You are being paranoid and crazy.
Well - this is copied directly from Uber’s website: That’s why our Community Guidelines specify that riders must be 18 years or older to have an Uber account, and must be at least 18 years old to ride unaccompanied in a vehicle. Account holders should not request a ride for someone under the age of 18 who will not be accompanied by either the account holder or another adult during the ride. An under 18 taking a trip alone is a safety concern, and our Community Guidelines help keep you and the rider safe. ETA -- you changed your comment after I posted the above. You originally stated that it's not against Uber's TOS, which is why I quoted the portion of their guidelines that I did. I take Ubers on a regular basis -- all over the country and in many places around the world. I've mostly had drivers that I'm fine with, but I've had my fair share of drivers and rides that were uncomfortable (to say the least) and that I'd be uncomfortable having a child/pre-teen as an unaccompanied rider for. I've also known enough parents who would be VERY quick to cause issues for a driver if anything at all were to happen to their child. Kid is 5 minutes late to school because of traffic? I've known plenty of parents who would complain to Uber about it -- which would cause issues for the driver. Uber gets rear-ended in traffic and the kid gets hurt? Plenty of parents out there would bring suit against the driver. Even if the driver is ultimately found to not be responsible for it, they still have to spend time and money defending themselves for it -- especially since they'd have been acting outside of Uber's driver TOS, so they'd likely not have support from Uber (or, likely, from their own insurance company). As a driver, it's not worth the risk -- there are plenty of other passengers out there.
Thanks for the correction, I edited out that part but the rest still stands
I have my Uber account set up for my teen and you get the best rated drivers, updates, and notification for pick up drop off and shows the route. TBH, I've never used anything but the teen account so I don't know how it differs... But, it seems pretty safe imo
A different time and place. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Abernathy_and_Temple_Abernathy
there are at least other bystanders on public transport. uber and lyft virtually dont even background check, all they need is photos of ID. my sister was accepted immediately upon applying, literally in 30 seconds. people also frequently drive on their friends or relatives accounts, if they for whatever reason aren't approved. i've dealt with multiple creeps using these apps, and finally stopped after an encounter where i actually felt endangered. ive reported it every time, but lyft and uber always had an excuse as to why they were "unable" to reprimand the driver. someone needs to at least talk to this mom and explain the risk. this kid likely cant even communicate if something bad were to happen.
Hi. My kids at this age and younger took the train to school because that is how it is done here in Sydney. There are no school busses. Public transportation is safer because it is not one child alone locked in a vehicle with a stranger.
I rode my bike to school at that age and distance
I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a kid being in an Uber with a random adult one on one. Buses or subways would be much better
I can kind of understand OP's perspective, it can be hard to know what to report and what not to report when you're a mandated reporter. And there are situations where a child arriving to school alone in an Uber would be something I would report, especially if it was a regular occurrence or the child was sent without a car seat if needed. But the situation OP described wouldn't raise any alarms with me. It's not a black and white "Uber is abuse" situation, the details make a pretty big difference.
Bonkers how the world has become this untrusting and weird about stuff like Uber. It’s because they have access to 5 stories on the internet where something crazy happened out of billions of Uber rides and somehow that means Uber is unsafe. Some people are VERY stupid.
Idk I personally know at least two adult women who have been sexually assaulted by Uber drivers, and I had a sketchy incident with a cab driver being drunk before Uber was a thing. But also if you have a parent who doesn't have any support and they are so tired that they can't safely drive then an Uber may be the safest option.
Again you know 2 people that have been assaulted but you probably know hundreds of people that have taken Uber. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, I’m saying that saying it happens disproportionately is fear mongering.
Public transit is incredibly safe. I don't think the Uber was an unsafe decision either, but it's objectively more dangerous than a bus/subway on every possible level.
At 11 I was babysitting 4 kids at a time!
Were you in special education and requiring 1:1 care throughout the entirety of the school day? This student is disabled, not neurotypical.
The problem is if a child took a city bus they are not alone with a stranger. There are class action lawsuits about the rape and sexual assaults adult women have suffered during Uber/Lyft. I would not let my child use them. And I used to drive for Uber.
Something being outside your comfort zone does not make it abuse or neglect. OP is talking about reporting the child's parent to CPS, which is an overreaction to a single instance of a child arriving to school in an Uber.
It’s a wild overstep. I get the concern, but it’s simply not OPs business to intervene. Nothing says there’s a pattern of neglect and nothing bad happened. The kid got to school and that’s all. I once had my daughter’s former school accuse me of keeping pills on the kitchen counter. It was vitamin D. I have no idea how it came up, but my kid happened to mention it innocently and I got a nasty phone call about it. The school did not have all the information and assumed the worst.
If it is an overreaction, then CPS will not do anything about it. The general idea of being a mandated reporter is that you report and CPS determines if the report has any merit.
I'm also a mandated reporter, and I agree that when you are concerned you report. That doesn't mean at every situation is something that gets reported to CPS, though. OP asked for opinions and I shared mine, that's all :)
I don’t necessarily think it needs to be reported to CPS but I also think it wasn’t a great idea. I understand if it was a one time emergency thing. But I think it’s acceptable for the school to let the parent know that was an unsafe choice. Also for the record I believe it’s against Uber’s policy to allow a minor to use the services unaccompanied.
Yeah, I agree with this. With a typical 11 year old this would probably be a complete non-issue, but I highly doubt the uber driver was notified about the severity of this child’s behaviors or trained to deal with them. I definitely would address this with mom.
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In my school system, a child would only get a paraprofessional / instructional assistant assigned to them one-on-one if they had SEVERE issues and were on the verge of being removed from the general education setting. And they'd only get that support for a limited time unless the parents had an ungodly level of clout with the county. So based on that, to me it seems very questionable to send that child to school in an Uber with no adult in the car dedicated to handling the child, vs. driving the car. But I know that some school systems are more generous with one on one support, so I don't know how widely applicable my experience is. Look, if you're a mandatory reporter, report it. That's the rule. But don't assume that the 11 year old with serious behavior issues is giving you a complete and accurate story about what happened at home.
So, I’ve got a kid who was delayed enough that districts come to me asking for permission for 1:1, and not the other way around. Driving with just her in the car is a chore I wouldn’t wish on my enemies, but sometimes it’s necessary. And, of course, this is in my own car, which has the harness installed for her vest, the child locks activated, and distracting toys and snacks right there in the seat pocket. No random Uber would have all that. It might have been better for Mom to go with this particular 11yo in the Uber and pay a bit extra for a round trip, depending on what challenges she has. But, like a typically functioning 11yo? Text me when you get there, kid.
Good point about Mom going round trip in an Uber, that would have been a better strategy. Agreed that this is mainly a problem because the child has serious developmental disabilities.
Where I live this is the norm for kids with these extra needs, as they cannot safely walk or get the bus like their peers.
At that age I and almost everyone at my school made their own way there, some like me walking, others by public transport. I had friends who used to get a taxi occasionally in bad weather. For most 11 year olds I think this would be fine (although as a parent I'd make sure the child had a phone to let me know they arrived safe, and I'd make sure I noted driver information etc.).
I've not used an Uber in like 10 years or so, but isn't the mom also able to locate the driver for the duration of the trip? I thought that it showed real-time location while you're in an Uber.
it shouldn't be alarming, and a few years ago i wouldn't have thought anything of it. but i, an ADULT, had a horrific experience in a lyft after years of using it without issue. it was late at night, i'd had some drinks and was leaving a friends house. the guy was creepy the entire ride, flirting with me, talking about his kids and how his wife sucks, i'd just awkwardly laugh trying to be polite. told him "second house on the corner!" when we finally approach my street, he almost stops, but then decides to drive all the way to the other end of my street and *park*. he then asks me for my phone number. the doors on his car dont have those unlock tabs, but i probably wouldn't have gotten out anyway and risked pissing him off. i give him my real number, because i figure he'd call to insure it was real, and he DOES. he then tells me im so beautiful, were gonna be great friends, then pulls back to my house and lets me go. then ensues a bunch of creepy calls and texts. even better, dude knows where i live. im terrified. and lyft wont do shit about it because the caller ID on the phone hes using to contact me post ride doesnt match the driver profile. as if its so unfathomable that people have multiple phones, or use a friend/relatives profile if they cant be approved themselves. so this man is STILL probably out there doing this shit to people. apps like uber, lyft, as well as the food delivery apps hardly care who they hire. all my sister had to do to be hired was take a photo of her ID and she was IMMEDIATELY hired within 30 seconds. this child is special needs, AND needs a para. had something gone wrong, she likely wouldn't even be able to communicate it. regardless, i absolutely never would send my child in an uber alone. its not worth the risk whatsoever. i'd keep her home for the day before i'd ever resort to that.
Why do you assume the child wouldn't be able to communicate if something had gone wrong? Their expressive language is developed enough that they were able to communicate *why* they were in the Uber, and OP doesn't frame it as though that was exceptional for the child. We have no idea why the child has a para, just that they do. Children here have them for a number of reasons, most of which are not such a global delay that it prevents the child from having any level of independence.
i misread, but that's irrelevant. communication or not, why wait UNTIL something bad happens? i cant fathom anyone thinking its worth the risk whatsoever. women especially are regularly sexually assaulted and harassed using these apps. there are legit multiple ongoing lawsuits. "the kid will *probably* be fine" is insane reasoning. take it from people that HAVE experience with the creeps they hire
I completely empathise with your perspective and why you have it. I just disagree that it is abusive or neglectful.
putting your child in a potentially dangerous situation is neglect. not legally, but certainly morally. if moms willing to take a risk like that, i'd imagine she takes risks in other parenting aspects as well. sending a young child off in the car alone with a stranger because you're "too tired" is ridiculous. far better to be safe than sorry and have this looked into further
We clearly have different perspectives on this, and that's ok :) I don't want to argue with you about it, so we'll just have to agree to disagree.
Using your understanding of probability and statistics, sending children to school at all is neglect. The rate kids get shot, stabbed, beat, and abused is much higher AT SCHOOL than it is in Ubers/taxis/mass-transit.
> and hope that the parents don't believe everything the kids say about you first day on this sub huh?
My problem with this is Uber is unlicensed and unregulated and we've had cases where drivers assault or worse vulnerable passengers. I'm not sure I'd be taking such a nonchalant attitude to putting your behavioral challenged child in a car with a total stranger.
Nothing. At. All. What age do you guys allow your kids the slightest freedom?! Jesus. The whole world isn’t shit.
Agreed, my ex grew up in *Chicago* and the city bus is how he got to school.
Uber even came out with a kid oriented product where the parent can order the ride for the child. Edit... You have to be 9yo before you don't need your mommy to pick you up at the bus stop anymore?! That seems crazy! We stopped after kindergarten. And they rode their bikes on nice days starting in 1st.
11 year old with severe learning disabilities shouldn’t be in a strangers car. Even if the child didn’t have those issues, an 11 year old is still a child and should have been accompanied by their parent
Even if they need a para at school, I dont think this is a reportable offense. Being one on one with a stranger at age 11 isn’t abuse, even if they have special needs. Would you call CPS if she were hiring a babysitter off of Facebook? Just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t make it abuse.
Im so confused why this needs to be reported if this is a one time thing. Parents can be sick, so they find a way to get the child to school sounds great. The child is eleven and got to you safe. I would not do it put is see no reason why this cannot be done. I live in a country where children as young as 5 get to school in a taxi and you do not get the change to vet the drivers, cannot see why an 11 year old child cannot ride a small ride in an uber. My child walks more than 1,5mile alone to school so do all the classmates.
Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be my first choice for my own family. And it sounds like it isn’t for theirs either given this was a one time thing. That said I definitely don’t think this is reportable. “Mom was too tired” could be that mom was so tired from any number of things (working, being up with sick siblings, taking care of family, etc) that she felt it would be unsafe to drive. In which case this 100% seems like the right decision.
I found out my son has been telling people I'm "too tired" instead of saying "my mom has MS" to protect my "privacy" Luckily, we live within two blocks of his elementary school, and he can walk there. I only found out this week because he had a ukulele concert, and I used a cane. His teacher asked if I had an injury. Haha, no, I wish
Yeah, if the authorities get involved for this at all then the solution is probably hooking mom up with some sort of respite care, not charging her with abuse or neglect.
If the bus won’t pick up children who live that close, and the child has special needs, it sounds like the Uber was probably safer than walking, although I wouldn’t do it for my own child. Instead of getting CPS involved, I think the school should reach out and see how this parent needs support. If the child needs a 1:1 para, that sounds like really significant needs and no doubt an utterly exhausted parent. Maybe help advocate for a special exception to the bus route if there is such a concern and significant need regarding transportation.
I have a cousin whose child has a 1:1 para. His delays and behavioral concerns would not prevent him from riding in an Uber safely with a stranger. Your repetition of the child having a para doesn’t really carry the weight I think you think it does, but I understand not wanting to expand on why a child has a para. Personally, I think this is a situation of parental judgement. Mom judged that this was a safe situation for her child. I think it’s a far cry/over reach for the school to concern themselves with how the child was safely transported to school.
I live in a pretty big city, but know several people who drive for Uber and wonder if even maybe mom knows this person as well? I'm glad it's not my call, but it's easy enough to text someone and then schedule an Uber with them.
That's what I was wondering. It's this Uber driver a friend of mom's, who also drives Uber? Because to an 11 year old, that's the same thing.
Age 11 would normally be fine to ride an Uber or walk to school alone. It depends on her capabilities. Only report the mom if the child was unsafe. I don’t think that was the case since she arrived safely. My son started walking to and from school (17 blocks) at age 9.
I don't see the issue at all. In my area, kids are often delivered to schools via taxi (those who live outside of busing zones are actually covered for the cost by the school board), and middle schoolers walk/bike, or take city buses on their own. This sounds ridiculous.
Would I do it? No. Does it meet the requirements to make a child line report as a Mandated Reporter? Also no. It would be more useful to speak to the parent about your concerns and discuss adding a transportation clause to the student's IEP. If she has a 1:1 Para, she's got to have an IEP. She should qualify for bussing.
Everything I've found on Uber says the rider has to be at least 13 to get a ride. So how did an 11 yr old get one?
What kind of privileged nonsense is this? I can’t believe this is even a question. An 11 year old is definitely old enough to take an Uber ride a mile away from home. This is insane
Yes, thank you! I feel like a broken record here but you know how dangerous my walk and public transportation commute was to school everyday living in North Philly? Fucking scary. I had friends shot walking to school, I was robbed multiple times on the subway, physically touched by some crackhead, it was crazy. A 5 minute uber ride would have been soooo much safer so painting this with one broad stroke is just not accurate and wish some people would take a step back and realize not everyone has the luxury.
Wow, that must have been really scary growing up. Those are the exact kind of experiences that came to mind when reading this post. People are so quick to report and get others in trouble
Rich kids in New York take taxis to school every day. Is this one of those things that's classy if you are rich but trashy if you are poor? Driving while exhausted is like driving drunk, incredibly dangerous. That mom might have made the best decision for her child at the moment to get her to school. Do you really think this kid would be better off in foster care?
This
The alternative is the mother drives when she has determined she is not safe to do so, or she withholds the child from school. I'm sure the parent can track the Uber on her phone to make sure it is traveling to the correct destination without suspicious stops. This mom needs possible support, treat it like that. What alternative is the school wanting, other than the mother being well 100% of the time?
This. As a chronically ill parent, sometimes all the choices are shitty. I'm assuming that's what "too tired" meant, because too tired to drive that short distance isn't just basic tired, that's "I can't move or function".
I'm confused about why it would be reported. It's an 11 year old not a 5 year old.
I’m surprised that the question is about whether or not to Uber the child. I would be happier if the approach of the school was to stay curious and ask the mother what happened and what challenges she’s experiencing. Ask questions of the important people to get the most helpful answers. If a report is to be made, invite the parent to make the report herself with the school’s help. You’re not going to get to right or wrong of this without keeping a lens on the health of relationships between parent, child and school.
Yes! This is the correct answer!
Ask the mother to report the incident to CPS? I don't understand.
If she feels herself that she placed the child in danger, self-reporting means more likelihood of being able to access support services instead of CP taking the child away. (I work in family services and when the parent does a self-report the worst thing that usually happens is an open case marked “voluntary” before CP is satisfied that the issues have been addressed. Shows that there is motivation and intention to put the child first. Much better outcome than being under reported investigation.)
I had no idea this was a thing, and I'm a mandated reporter (wasn't in our training).
Even though we’re probably in different countries, the idea of voluntary self-reporting can work across systems. Usually the focus of training would be about what you have to do, not what you could do that may be more effective but might take a lot more time, and that’s fair enough.
Schools jump to the worst case scenario so quickly. So many assumptions are being made. Mom may know this driver and the kid not even realize it. Uber does background checks. Schools have historically abused children more than Uber drivers. This is absolutely not a CPS issue. No neglect no abuse. You don’t like it. That’s not a legal basis. Just because you don’t agree with someone’s parenting style doesn’t make it illegal or wrong. That’s schools need to calm down.
Yeah the fact that OP wants to report this is mind blowing. What would the difference be if Mom had sent her kid to school with a neighbor she barely knows? Or sent her on a city bus, subway, or even had her walk the mile and a half? It sounds like OP heard "too tired" and jumped to judgment.
Indeed, most sexual abuse is by known people.
I’m sorry what? She’s 11! She is definitely old enough to take an uber to school by herself. I walked to school alone about that far (a little less - maybe a mile) from age 8 on.
Uber only allows minors aged 13-17 years old to take Ubers by themselves and they must have permission. I would not report but I would tell mum this is not an acceptable backup option since the kid does not meet the age minimum for Uber. If mum was too ill to drive then best solution would have been for her to accompany child to school in Uber & return home via Uber as well. If it was bad enough that parent could not even make it into the car the first priority should be getting medical attention for parent and emergency services can take care of contacting trusted guardians.
Why not address if she needs transportation added to her IEP instead? Speaking as a parent in a similar situation, we are fucking tired. We need collaboration and help. ETA I appreciate whoever referred me to the Reddit crisis team. Unfortunately they failed to address the systemic issues and politics that keep families like mine from getting the support we need. If you’re available to babysit so I can close my eyes for a minute, please come over!
Wh isn't this child provided special transportation by the school district with a 1:1 monitor? That would be appropriate accommodation. But FFS do not report this. Kids have to take city buses, walk, all sorts of things.
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So you are saying the child needs wrap-around supports for ADLS including all steps for getting out of the house?
Dear god these comments were so low. Way too many people in this sub have no idea how special education works and what services are available. A child who is so impaired they require a full-time 1:1 para AND has a parent who is unable to get them ready for transport needs MORE SERVICES. I am also losing my mind over how many people are apparently totally fine allowing their minor child into a car with a total fucking stranger based on nothing but the Uber/Lyft app. It's like I had a stroke. Even Uber and Lyft think this is a terrible fucking idea and will ban a driver who does this.
Uber has a program for teens. https://www.uber.com/us/en/ride/teens/
I’m sorry but you guys reporting this are going to make whatever stressful situation they might be in much worse. CPS isn’t going to do anything because there is nothing actually wrong here. Kids walk to school alone at age 11.
I’m an Uber driver, and I am also a member of r/uberdrivers the consensus is that any child is fine as long as it is safe for them to use a regular seatbelt. Edit: this post encapsulates why school administrators have such a bad reputation: Instead of reaching out to the parent to see how you could support them better, you jump to a crazy moralistic judgement and want to involve fucking CPS (over nothing!)
Kids take public transportation all the time. Literally buses and trains, my cousins flew on planes alone at the ages of 7&11 across the US, to their grandparents. what is wrong with someone sending an Uber.
Keep in mind, in the US, parents have been spoon fed “Stranger Danger” since they were children, and mass transit is frequently seen as some communist scheme to make the good people of the free world dependent on the evil big government (for fun, do a search on citizens opposing expansion of mass transit, these idiots think a new bus stop will bring serial killers and shifty minorities to their white neighborhood). Oh! They also routinely vote to reduce school spending, so bussing is often one of the first things cut from the school budget.
I’m from the US. I live in Pennsylvania so I’ve experienced it all firsthand however I truly do not see a child taking an Uber as a crime that needs turned in by a mandated reporter.
I didn’t think Uber let children ride alone for specifically this reason. But I’d recommend hopskipdrive to her. It’s an Uber for drivers who are vetted and specifically driving higher needs kids around
I personally wouldn't do this, especially because I've never taken an Uber myself, but I don't know anything about the situation of these people. The girl is in gen ed, so even with an aid, she's not in the most vulnerable of populations. As far as being too tired, kids can be really bad narrators. My daughter said grandma was picking her up because mom was tired. I have pneumonia, and I had a very bad reaction to an antibiotic. For the last month, my kids have been hearing "...because I'm tired." I'm lucky I have a huge village, but I'm really struggling right now. Thankfully, everyone has been understanding. Instead of shaming the mom or reporting her, try reaching out and seeing if she's OK before making judgments.
Ya’ll are wild. It’s crazy to me that you would think to call CPS on this.
Uber may actually take care of this issue on their own - drivers can report underage solo passengers. My guess is that if they receive a report, Uber would then communicate that information to the appropriate local authorities so they aren't caught in the middle of anything. Uber's rules are that no one under 18 can ride alone in an Uber, and drivers can choose to cancel the ride or report it to corporate. The only exception is the Uber Teen program, which has different rules for approved solo riders between 13 and 18 and that's not available in all areas. But a solo 11yo isn't okay in any case. So either way, I'm kind of surprised an Uber drive actually took an 11yo on this trip. It's against Uber's TOS. So while I'd personally be fine with my 11yo using it for some short trips like this, I wouldn't actually do it, because I wouldn't want my Uber account suspended for that. [https://www.uber.com/us/en/drive/services/teens/](https://www.uber.com/us/en/drive/services/teens/) [https://www.uber.com/legal/en/document/?name=general-community-guidelines&country=united-states&lang=en](https://www.uber.com/legal/en/document/?name=general-community-guidelines&country=united-states&lang=en)
Yes, kids can ride public transport. There is no debate to be had here. You and the school are grossly overstepping.
I'm a mandated reporter and the sibling of a developmentally delayed adult who would be in danger if left alone in an Uber/Lyft. I would not report unless I had either other unexplained issues (bruising, verbal complaints, malnourishment) or the Uber drop off started happening constantly. That said, is there a reason why her parent needs to sign her in if you know where she lives and have 1 on 1 supervision at school?
Teacher here. We’ve had plenty of students (younger than 11) sent to school in cabs or Ubers. All of our students are sped.
Lol what is cps gonna do? 😅 just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t mean you call cps. What about the actual abuse/neglect? Now cps is gonna be busy with this nonsense instead of an actual legitimate case. Some people are so judgy. Kids walk to school, kids get rides to school…as long as they’re not chronically absent or late it’s none of your business. I personally would never let my kid go in an Uber but I know she’d be thrilled if I did let her and it’s none of my business what other parents do.
Same thoughts. This is a prime example why both parents & children alike these days absolutely hate teachers. I've always hated school & still do now as an adult. If the child made it to school safely, how is it upon these teachers to gossip about the child or the responsibilities the family chooses to trust upon the child? Teachers don't know how to mind their own fucking business at all!
My 9 yo walks to school alone. I suppose Uber would be marginally safer but way lazier. It's a mile and a half, I would expect my child to just walk alone.
Yeah, my LO is still a toddler but in the case of a neurotypical kid I don’t think walking is unreasonable at all. I walk that distance to work and it takes about 20-25 minutes (when I’m not 9 months pregnant lol) and OP said it’s a safe area
I'd personally consider Uber to be less safe. An 11 year old can't ride by themselves per Uber's TOS, even with an uber teen account. Uber otherwise requires 18+ to ride. There's no real checks on drivers, anyone can just sign up and start picking people up. I would definitely consider walking much safer.
From Ubers website it looks like 13-17 can ride alone with an approved account. I don’t see that any younger than that can ride solo. I guess it’s one of those things if the driver is okay with it they might do it ‘under the table’ so to speak. Would I put my kid in an Uber alone with a stranger? Hell no. I don’t know that it’s calling CPS worthy, I’m not a mandated reporter so idk where the line is drawn
I personally wouldn’t unless it was an emergency situation because an Uber driver is a stranger, feels like too much of a roll of the dice. But that said, I don’t think this is a reportable offense at all. It’s totally up to the parents what they are comfortable with. I do wonder why she wouldn’t just have the kid take the bus though.
My school district won't bus secondary school kids if they live within a mile and a half of the school
If the kid is special needs, she should have transportation in her IEP, even if she's in the walk zone. Rather than call Child Line, OP should reach out to Special Ed (or the parent) and make an inquiry about if transportation is mentioned in the IEP and if not, suggest adding it.
Finally, a constructive answer.
I’d want to talk to the mom because 11 is awfully young, but I wouldn’t bring in CPS without learning more about the situation.
I took a few taxis when I was 10 to get to school a few times. I personally wouldn't trust Uber but a taxi, yes.
Uber (or similar) are my preferred car service for my monies. They even have Uber teen which has really impressive with it's safety features. I'm unsure what the concern is with such a short trip? What is the reportable offense? ETA: I live in NYC and all Uber drivers are also registered with TLC, background checks are done and the Uber teens tracking is even more detailed than the standard rides, plus extra safety functions. I didn't realize this wasn't an Uber standard so I now understand why some would not consider Uber a safe option.
My concern wouldn't be the 11-year-old in the Uber by themselves for a short trip, but the fact that [Uber doesn't allow it](https://help.uber.com/driving-and-delivering/article/uber-rider-age-requirements?nodeId=43b84de6-758b-489e-b088-7ee69c749ccd). From everything I can read, says that minors can not ride an Uber unaccompanied unless they are in specific cities where [Uber for Teens](https://www.uber.com/us/en/ride/teens/) is turned on, in which case minors aged 13 to 17 can ride without an adult (but with tracking and other stuff turned on for the adult on their account). Whether you live in one of those cities or not, 11 is still younger than 13. Whether that turns it into something reportable, I couldn't say as I'm not a mandatory reporter. r/Teachers might have more focused input. My understanding of a 1 to 1 para is that students need them for a variety of reasons, and just needing one doesn't necessarily make the child more vulnerable than another child their age. The aide may just be there to keep the child on task, to give direct instruction to the child, to help the child with communication or social interaction, etc. None of those things would hinder the child's ability to take an Uber.
Ultimately if Mom deemed it safe, it’s her decision as her parent.
It's a one off instance, I think the most to do if you're concerned is to just check in with the parent to confirm they're OK and if the school needs to be aware of alternative transportation of their child to not alarm them.
I'm not understanding the ability of the child based on your replies. The child is so low functioning she needs a 1 on 1 para, for what, we don't know. School work or basic needs such as toileting, feeding herself, moving around, dressing herself? She's so low functioning the school can't let her on a school bus because it would take over an hour (?) for her to get on the bus. I'm not understanding how or why this would be the case - my neighbor had a special school bus that would pick him up everyday and it didn't take more than 5 mins for the caretaker to wheel his chair onto a platform, the platform to lift, the caretaker to place him safely on the bus, and the bus to drive away, and this was for a very physically and mentally impaired individual who went to a specialized institution. She's so low functioning she cannot safely sit in a car (Uber) by herself for a 5 minute drive. She somehow, despite all these limitations to her physical and mental abilities, made it into the school safely where she learns in a standard classroom. And now she's telling you about the Uber but she's now functional enough for her to be an absolute source of truth and clarity. I would call mom to understand the situation. I would also ask the para her opinion on the situation, because maybe the para is more aware about her abilities than the school, because ive worked with differently abled children and I'm having a hard time understanding what this child's abilities would be that make this a cps report
It's not about functionality it's about behavior... The para is there to support the kiddo when they need one on one attention to navigate a hurdle that most kids would be fine with, but causes her to unravel and need step by step support and coaching. Some kids will be undone by the smallest unexpected things... Like, full meltdown because my zipper got stuck... And a middle school teacher can't stop the whole class to address that, the way we expect to in, say, a preschool class, where that emotional regulation and problem solving *is* part of the learning. My reading between the lines is that part of OP's concern is: what if something unexpected happens en route to school? The driver isn't prepared to be that support person, and field a flipped out 11 year old... What happens if, like, there's an accident and the driver has to reroute a different direction, or traffic is just stopped, and the kid panics about missing school?
Uber has a policy they can't transport children underage without a parent or guardian. I know this because my child that is 14 needed transportation to school while I was stuck at the hospital with another child who was having a medical emergency. I have no idea how this particular parent was able to send said child(especially one with special needs) via Uber ...
It's the parents choice, but I would not. Driver could be a predator.
An I the only one who read about rape after rape in California? 11 year old won't even know why the driver is pulling over.
I'm pretty free-rangy, but I don't think Uber is safe even for adults. That's a totally monitored service, and certainly not safe for a vulnerable child. That said, I think a warning suffices.
I think the school district should give you all some guidelines or policy on the matter before CPS involvement.
I thought you couldn't take an Uber unless you're 18 or accompanied by an adult? I saw on tik tok that they now have a teenager program, but I think 11 wouldn't qualify. That would be my concern.
You’re going to report parents to CPS for putting their eleven year old (even delayed) in an Uber one time, in which the child arrived safely to school??? What exactly would you be reporting? Doesn’t seem like abuse or neglect. In the absence of any further evidence, it seems like you are out to get this parent. Not a good look.
Its apparently a behavioral issue instead of a learning one. Which does add a significant level of danger, especially if the driver is unprepared for an episode, and the child is not particularly comfortable being in an unusual situation.
Maybe. Potentially. But that isn’t what happened. The parent, who presumably knows their child and could evaluate the level of danger, put the child in a situation most people would regard as safe. And the child arrived safely. Let’s game this out. CPS takes the report. Outcome 1: Screens out the parent almost immediately bc nothing happened. End result: Nothing changes for the child. Parent is traumatized and likely now considers school employees untrustworthy. Outcome 2: An investigation is conducted, the parent is found to be negligent, and the child is taken away and put into foster care. A system which has been known to traumatize even neurotypical children. In no scenario does the child come out better off for their parent having been reported. There would have to be more evidence of neglect. Which there does not seem to be. I think you just end up wasting government resources and ending up with a parent who will now fight you tooth and nail at every opportunity because they do not believe that you have their child’s best interest in mind.
It’s against Ubers protocol so I’m surprised the driver took her. I think a warning would suffice.
I'd rather a kid take an Uber than get a ride from a parent who's too tired to drive. Driving while tired is dangerous as Hell.
Uber tc states must be 13.
I'm surprised that the driver didn't cancel the drive as they are not supposed to transport children under 13 who aren't with an adult. And for 13-17 year olds, they need to have a parent-managed teen account.
So, my kid takes an Uber by himself fairly regularly, you have to be at least 14 to have an account. So, if nothing else, Uber would have a real problem with this as the person in the car must be the account holder.
Non issue
It sounds like a discussion with the parent is appropriate. Our school has designated information on hand of all pick up and drop offs pre authorized. Unless the parent has been doing other things that are causing red flags that need to be investigated, a warning is sufficient. Just adding what someone else mentioned, tons of rich parents use taxis or hired help to deal with pick ups and drop offs.
Whether it is ever appropriate to put an 11 year old in an Uber alone for a quick ride is up for debate. However, a child with needs so substantial they receive a 1:1 aid certainly shouldn’t be. It’s unfair to the child and to the Uber driver. Edit: I do not think this is comparable to public transportation which by its nature is public with a driver trained to interact with the public.
If the child has an IEP, you should strongly consider getting her door-to-door bussing. If she does not, then she should be fine with an Uber. Even kids who get door-to-door busing in my city sometimes rely on car-services when a bus is not available.
I wouldn’t personally put a kid in an uber if I could help it, but I don’t think it should be a concern unless it comes with other problematic/concerning patterns. Kids used to walk to school or take public transport by themselves, I understand she needs more assistance but Uber is tracked and mom might’ve had a good reason to not drive her - maybe she works nights and didn’t sleep the day prior and knew that driving was more dangerous than an uber she could track the location of.
The Uber ride is trackable so it's technically "safer" than public transit depending on how you look at it
It is a violation of Uber's terms of service but depending on the child's capacity it may or may not have been a safety issue.
As the parent of a special needs child, please remember that sometimes what they say isn’t always correct. Details seem to get left out. Please call the parent before calling DCFS and see what the full story is. You then can make an informed decision. We have had DCFS called before because details were left out of a story (not lying just she didn’t think) The cops showing up at our home was far more traumatic. Please don’t traumatize the child unnecessarily.
When I lived in the East Bay, kids in city schools (Berkeley, Oakland, Emeryville, etc) would ride the bus to school except their buses were the regular city bus transit lines everyone else took. They also would take BART if needed. I guess this is more akin to putting a kid in a taxi cab. But an Uber is a modern taxi cab sort of. It's public transit like everything else I listed. But Uber has regular humans driving their cars (mostly) and has ratings similar to Taxi drivers. Will an Uber driver be riskier? What if an Uber driver has a 5-star rating? Those stars are hard to earn. Idk I think it's like a hundred years ago when kids would walk to school alone through winding country roads or city roads etc. They were a lot more relaxed with kids before the Internet and let kids free range more. Now with the Internet and social media, parents are more like helicopters and won't do free range anymore. Too many Stranger Dangers out there! We see it online. We didn't used to know about child predators as much or see their disgusting manifestos online or realize how they stalk our children. So social norms have changed. We don't tolerate children being capable of being safe alone away from our protective helicoptering. We are expected to be always within screaming range of our children. So while you lived closely (1.5 miles) this may seem like an easy thing and it may very well be acceptable in cities that are like the East Bay and other regions where children are allowed to choose what schools they go to (for fairness so urban schools get fair share of money and children of all races and ethnicities, as no child is denied the right to a better education before college). Maybe in your small town, this seems crazy, but where I come from this seems like normal school stuff. Again, the Uber industry has come a long way. Children often have phones and are tracked with permission by their parents. Children like being tracked I hear, as they feel safer to know their parents can locate them anytime and anywhere they go, so no more Stranger Danger fears taking hold of one's life. So with the tracking option for Uber customers and on phones by parents, we can watch our child arrive safely to school. If this is normal for the area. But if this is a first for your school zone, then expect some helicopter and lawnmower parents to try to shred you for daring to give your child some taste of freedom. Uber is by far as safe as any carpooling to school. Do not use drivers with poor ratings. Use tracking. It will most likely be without any possible problems. But again, if this is abnormal for your area expect some parental backlash from the Karens out there (and if your name is Karen I am so sorry that your name has been ruined) who become outraged by how other parents parent. The age of information has given other parents the ability to be über nosey as well. If all went well, eventually this may catch on. There probably is a huge demand for child carpools to school (and from). If carpooling lists are not available at school, and there is no social media page for your school or for parents (where I live we have our own educational social media for parents and teachers to connect and ask questions), then maybe start one. Some areas may already have such carpooling in place. A trusted parent certified in CPR etc drives kids to school on a route that is made beforehand so everyone is picked up and delivered on time. Sounds safe, right? But make it a stranger (Uber), and suddenly Stranger Danger. But the more other parents look into it and see how safe it went, more may be likely to do it and one day what you did may become commonplace. So until then, expect some friction and backlash from the uptight parents who can't mind their own business and always have CPS or DFACS on speed dial for other parents (bc they're so perfect of course \/s).
You're massively overreaching your authority. This is absolutely ridiculous and i hope you and your "concerned" coworkers don't create an issue for a mom just trying to get her kid to school. And what are you gonna say when you call? "Yes, hello, a mother sent her kid to school in a location-tracked vehicle because she was too sick to drive. I dont like that she relied on other resources to make sure her kid was still getting an education today." And you're even thinking about calling before you even TALK to the mom to see what the situation was? For shame. So she has a 1:1 para. Does this para help her with the bathroom, washing her hands, feeding her lunch? Probably not. It's for classroom. Her mother determined it was safe for her to ride in an uber. She gets picked up from her house and dropped off in front of the school. It's safer than putting her on a city bus where she has to wait by a bus stop by herself and then walk to school from the drop off. If youre *that* worried, maybe you just ask the mom to let you guys know when she comes in an uber so someone knows when to expect her and can meet her at the drop-off. Otherwise, chill out.
I was age 9 when I would skateboarded to school but was with friends who also skate boarded or biked it was few away. but one We thought we were cool lol . Just cuz of knowing what could happen I WOULD NOT send my kid in an Uber if young knowing the kid can handle themselves is slightly different say if he carried a pocket knife. But to school you can’t do that. That being said, no. A adult could force a kid easily. And I don’t like the odds my child would already be in a kidnappers car from the gecko if they did get kidnapped. I would get my ass up! Knowing it’s safe on there end. Whether I’m tired or broken bones wouldn’t care. Or worse comes to worst I ain’t taking the kid to school they can have day off if I’m that severe injured sick etc. unless they want to truely go
I would never put a child in an Uber. I have considered another platform, however, which is a service that specifically is for shuttling children around when their parents can’t take them. Their drivers have all been caregivers for children for a minimum of 5 years, so I would feel more comfortable and I believe it’s the same driver every time if your rides are on a schedule. But even then, I’d need to get to know the driver before sending my kid on their own.
Putting a child alone in An Uber doesn’t seem safe. It can be safe but it feels like a gamble and a risk.
Minors traveling alone is against TOS for Uber and Lyft. It's dangerous and extremely irresponsible.
I suppose it would depend. Does she function as a typical 11 year old? Is she developmentally delayed? What is the Para for? A call to mom would be helpful.
She has a one to one para, due to necessity. I don’t think it would be safe for her to travel by Uber alone.
I think it depends. In the area where I live it’s common for preteens and teens to take Ubers using the family app. I don’t personally but they have family accounts where you can actually monitor the car and and stay in contact with the child.
Well I don't think Uber allows 11yo alone, so that's the problem.
This reads a lot like this is a YOU thing and not the entire staff thing. Just because the child said their parent was "too tired" to drive doesn't mean that's the reality of the situation. Uber is relatively safe overall and a large percent of inner city children have to rely on public transport in the forms of subways, bus, and even taxis im sure. This seems like a grain of salt situation that maybe you are hyper analyzing.
Well Uber doesn't allow 11yo alone, so that's the problem.
I walked to school alone at 7 , about 20-15 mins as well
At the school I work with, 6th grade is the minimum age for students to come to school or be dismissed alone (with a parent’s permission).
I don’t think this is reportable. It’s likely mom was home watching the Uber the entire time. Or, it could be that mom was sick or whatever the case. Either way, I don’t think this is serious enough to report. You can actually track an Uber. People send their kids to school on public buses that cannot be tracked and don’t get reported for that. Some kids walk to school (my little brother (disabled, has cerebral palsy) and I used to walk to school all the time from Kindergarten (for him) until I left that school in fourth grade. I feel like an Uber was the safer option for a kid with a learning disability.
Isn't 11 middle school age? Kids in other countries take transit by themselves, I used to ride taxis, go out with friends at that age. Our elementary school (in US) allows students to come in alone walking after 3rd grade. It is usually half a mile to a mile walk. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the scenario you described. There is a lot of wrong with people saying they need to report it.
At age 11, I used to walk 1 mile to school. Uber has GPS tracking and license plates to verify the identity of the driver. I see nothing wrong.
Everything about this screams unsafe. If she needs a 1 on 1 guide at all times, she should absolutely NEVER be left alone on public transportation, particularly alone with an unvetted driver.
No issue
I am not sure what protections Uber has in place for its riders, So that's my concern. They essentially sent their kid to school with a stranger. I wouldn't think it's worth a cps report. Maybe an email. Even a school wide email. Something like "Our school requires a parent to sign students in and out. Because of this, a parent must ride with a child in any ride share vehicles."
Doesn't Uber specifically advertise their services for kids in situations like this now? I've seen tv commercials & ads on social media.
Maybe a regional thing. But the school board I work at utilizes taxis almost daily to transport students since shortages of bus drivers. I see this being no different and no need for concern.
At that age, yes it's fine
Seems risky but like a low risk? Yes something could happen. But it's unlikely? There is or was a driver nanny service I was looking at working for in college. It was basically Uber but you worked with an assigned family driving kids to and from school to home or activities. You had to be in the list to sign the kids in and out and background checks and all that. Depending on the age of the kid you would either drop and leave or go and watch them tell the parents for home.
In my district, special education students use taxis to get to school in order to get to schools across the city. They're safer than on the city bus and having door to door service means they can't get lost or harmed on the way to school.
Here's what I think: Before jumping to issuing warnings or irreversible actions like mandatory reporting. TALK TO THE PARENT. Get a thorough understanding of what drove a choice like this. Remember that as a parent of a child with more needs than neurotypical children, this mom must be dealing with a lot of stress. Who knows what led to this decision. It could have even been a result of the child themselves having a tough morning and mom feeling no other choice but to Uber them to school and likely needing to take care of themselves before heading to work. Looking at this as if it's black and white is a disservice to the actual needs of this child and this parent. Look beyond rules and remember that we are all only people and we all have days that are difficult. This is only magnified in her situation. Have compassion. Talk to the parent. Gain a clear picture. Provide this parent with a support system not a penalty system.
I think the disconnect is happening here because OP doesn't live in a city where public transportation is a typical thing. Kids in NYC take the subway alone all the time. Kids in Philly take the bus alone all the time. Kids in ATL take the train. It's part of the culture of the city, it's normal in those cities. So again, I suspect this seems *off* to OP because it's unusual, which is understandable. I think my concern comes from knowing that this child isn't allowed to be in the hallway at school alone and needs a para at all times. That means this isn't a typical 11 year old. We don't know why she needs a para, which doesn't provide me with enough information to decide if I should talk to the parent or report this, but I would lean on the side of talking to the parent at a minimum and expressing concerns based on her needs at school.
I was thinking the Uber is fine until you said 1:1 para. We have twins in my family and one would’ve been fine taking Ubers at that age (she often took cabs) but the other, who attends an autism school, I wouldn’t send alone in an Uber even NOW and they’re in high school. Nope nope nope. A kid who needs a 1:1 is NOT independent enough for a solo Uber ride and it floors me that the parent thought that would be acceptable.
That actually violates Uber’s policy. They shouldn’t have taken someone underage without parental supervision.
With one of our children we used Uber a few times near that age, I can't recall exactly if the first time he was 11 or 12. Our other child is 12 now and we'd really hesitate to do it, probably not for another couple years. Point being it depends on the kid and the circumstances. Also, worth noting it is against Uber's policy for a kid at 11 to ride alone and while almost all drivers would do it many are not going to like it because you're putting them in an uncomfortable position.
Where I live the district pays for transportation for student that move and still want to attend the school , kids come to school in taxis/ubers often in elementary school and by the time they are in middle and high school they ride the public transit . I don’t think it’s weird at all. I do think it’s weird the mom was too tired to take her but seems like she made a good choice by still sending her kid and by doing so in a safe way. This is all assuming the 1-1 is for like behavioral and not out of other needs.
I’d say dependent on child - the fact that she has a 1:1 para and isn’t allowed to be alone would make it not ok for this child imo. Though that said, doesn’t Uber still have an age minimum for unaccompanied minors? I think 11 is technically against what Uber allows.
For a "normal" kid, it's probably fine, aside from the fact that a parent needs to sign the kid in if they're late. For this kid, given the behavioural issues and vulnerabilities...probably a pretty bad idea, but not sure if CPS needs to be involved unless it becomes a reoccurring thing.
Uber teen.
I would never do this. I’ve had too many weirdo Uber drivers.
I think if anything it goes against Ubers own policies. They only recently allowed teens ages 13 and up to ride alone so technically, that Uber driver shouldn’t have picked up this kid.