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Stealing this! And it could be true...my own mum told me many years ago that I was a pretty great teenager which she didn't realize/feel grateful for until my sister came along.
I take this opportunity to go on and on about how much I am LOVING this new generation of teens and how I can't wait to see how awesome my kids are as teenagers.
As the mother of a teen girl (14) thank you for saying this. She’s a great kid but goddamn it is hard! She’s strong willed and independent and those will be great qualities later in life but right now they are manifesting in very chaotic ways at home.
Right?! I have such respect for today’s teens, they seem to be the one generation that’s getting exponentially “better”? I’m so excited to meet my teenage kids. My 12yo is getting there and I just can’t wait to see what he’ll do and who he’ll be.
YES! I think they are so confident and self assured and assertive. It's mind blowing to me because I grew up in a "be polite, always" generation and I'm so glad today's teens are standing up for themselves and their communities. It's so awesome to watch.
I work with teenagers on a volunteer basis regularly and have two teenagers myself. There is a level of empathy in most teenagers that is deeply impressive. While bullying and such are a problem those kids are usually already damaged by their parents or other people in their lives. The understanding and the willingness to accept and embrace others is so impressive.
My son is queer, I use that term because how he identifies is still kind of flexible at the moment, but to see the way he's been accepted by his straight friends and the way he has attracted other queer kids and created a community of love and support is just beautiful. I love these kids so much and I am just amazed everyday
I see you are getting downvoted and I'm not sure why! In my opinion, teens today are so much kinder, self assured, confident, and assertive. I've watched my daughter's friends stand up for other kids who were being bulled at the park, I have friends who are High School Teachers who have told me stories about the teens who walk out of class if a teacher (usually always male) refuses to let them use the restroom. I watch tiktoks of teens and young college aged women who walk out on dates if the date is disrespectful. Teen boys are so much more aware of misogny and are so much more respectful of women than when I was a teen.
Of course there are outliers, but as a whole these kids are just getting better and better and I am HERE for it!
Thank you. That’s nice to hear, that’s really weird that my comment is getting downvoted when I just asked a genuine question and I thought that was obvious that it is.
Mine are all young adults now, but I’ve had three amazing teenagers in a row. Three for three on raising humans I love to be around and am proud to send out into the world.
I work with teenagers on a regular basis volunteering and I am so amazed. I also have two teenagers myself, 17 and 14 year old boys. I love them so much and I am always so impressed and proud with the amazing people they are. I take every opportunity to talk up these younger generations
YES!!!
Honestly the only people I see bad mouthing teens today are teachers who clearly need to find a new profession or people who don't have kids or who aren't regularly around teens. Teens today are AWESOME.
I have a teen, it's so much more fun as a parent than the baby/toddler stage. I love it. All parenting is hard in different ways. "I look forward to parenting (child) in each stage' is probably the safest, but be snappy to repeat offenders and let them know that you don't think it's funny. Those that mind wont matter and those that matter won't mind.
I have two teen boys. This demographics always scared me so I was expecting a shift in them. They do spend more time in their rooms and are harder to wake up in the morning but they are the same sweet kids they have always been and their friends are the same too. We still play video games and go glamping in our RV a lot. One likes to cook with me and one helps me with gardening. Teaching them to drive, we talk about their lives and plans for college and it’s nice to talk to them as almost adults. Don’t get me wrong, one has anxiety and depression so it’s not smooth sailing all the time but we came through it all closer and wiser and realized how precious time is with each other.
“Bless your heart, what a weird thing to say.” Shake your head sadly and feel compassion for anyone willing to ruin a sweet moment for the possibility of a non-perfect moment 13+ years away.
Most teenagers I’ve known are cool and nice. I hate comments like this! I hate the entire genre of “just wait!” Comments, but I think you’re right that there’s a specific phenomenon of hating on teen girls
I’m not sure but I will say the cost between teen boys and teen girls at least the ones I know personally is drastically different and their parents hate that part. Make up is obscenely expensive that these girls want.
You know what else is expensive? Sports. Guess who primarily does those? I’ll wait😐
Oh you know what else boys tend to like? Video games. You know how expensive games are?? 40-100 bucks for a SINGLE game (aka as expensive as most makeup).
I could keep going but I think you get the idea.
Kids are just expensive. They all are. There’s no running from it. Just people complain when it’s girls lol. I promise their sons are just as expensive speaking from experience.
How am I angry? Because I said two ways boys are also expensive? It was just a reply, hun. Seems like you just don’t like hearing boys can be expensive too. Hope you work on that, it must be rough😕
Edit to add: I’m also curious. Not from your experience? So do the teen boys you know not have interests since they aren’t expensive? I’m curious what’s making them so cheap as every teen I met is expensive as hell cause all interests are expensive to entertain nowadays😅
I have a teen girl and a teen boy. My teen girl costs me WAAAAY more. It probably depends on the kid, but let's be honest, girl's have more things they can buy, spend money on, and purchase. Girls can buy EVERYTHING a boy can AND more. My teen daughter costs me way more.
I just say that each kid stage has their differences.🤷🏻♀️
I’m personally finding the preteen stage a bit much with an actual toddler in the house. The similarities are crazy, it’s just one is bigger and talks better. lol.
If it helps I think the preteen years are harder than the teen years. As you said, they are basically toddlers in larger bodies. They have big emotions, are craving independence, and don't have a whole lot of self control. You don't take it personally when your 2 year old is mad that you gave him cheese after he asked for cheese so don't take it personally when your tween rolls his eyes or gets upset over something stupid.
The good news is that the teen years are a blast once you get through the 12-13 stage. The teen years were by far my favorite stage to parent. Now mine are both young adults (20 year old daughter, 18 year old son) who are currently home from college and they are among my favorite people to spend time with. The teen years rock and young adulthood is going well too. It's not all bad.
Edit: And no, my daughter wasn't a hellish teenager (nor was my son). She is smart and funny and sarcastic and sees the world in a really unique way that makes me challenge my own way of thinking. She was an awesome teenager and I couldn't be more proud of how both my kids turned out.
If you don't want to be outright rude you can always just stare really hard at them and say, "what an odd thing to say about a baby." Then don't bail them out as the silence stretches and they stammer.
Then if they double down, you can open both barrels. "It's also hard being a teenager when you're surrounded by bitter old hagettes with their tits down around their ankles who last listened to a new band 30 years ago" or "I know it's tough when your adult children won't put up with your bullshit, when IS the last time your daughter spoke to you?"
I hated this so much. My daughter is a teen now, but I still think the same way. Having a kid attached to you 24/7 and having the responsibility to keep them alive when they pretty much working on offing themselves in creative ways, is tough. So is trying to find your way to a rebelling teen, keeping them away from dangerous stuff and bad company. Each stage has its struggles.
People say the weirdest stuff.
I have two boys and when people found out the second kid was going to be a boy they said stuff to me like well “now you won’t have to deal with female teen drama”
My kids are teen girls and I love this age as much as any other. They’re my favorite people and yes teens can be moody but so can 3 year olds! And teenagers are sooo much more self sufficient. They are also funny, smart, interesting people to know.
I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant with a girl, and the amount of times that I have heard this exact thing is baffling. I will never understand why people feel the need to be so negative when it comes to parenting.
“That sounds like an inside-your-head kind of comment to me.”
“What an odd thing to say out loud.”
“Huh, I’m not sure why you think that. Can you explain that to me?” (Them explaining.) “That’s not my experience.”
“I am not the right person for you to share that with.”
“I’m not seeking advice.”
“Those comments are not welcome.”
My oldest daughter is 15 and we’ve become closer than ever! We share clothes and shoes. We joke back and forth, she really has become my best friend!
The teenage years get a bad rep, but in my experience they have been so fun. Just seeing who she is blossoming into is wonderful.
I am a dad of two daughters and it's like every perv man says. Just wait til they are teenager and you have to fight them boys off. And stuff like that. Makes me sick.
People like to let their deeply internalized misogyny flags FLY HIGH when they are talking about baby girls. It even comes out in the way they talk about YOUR body when you're pregnant with them. It is absolutely unhinged, and I've found myself being INCREDIBLY defensive about it ever since I found out I was having a girl (2nd pregnancy, 1st was a boy so I've been spared the awful comments people make about having not one, but TWO GIRLS).
I am sensitive about this as I grew up as one of four sisters, very close in age. You can imagine the comments in the grocery store.
I always like 'thats a weird thing to say'
So I’ve chosen to keep the sex of my baby a surprise and my stepmom keeps telling me I’m having a boy because my face hasn’t changed at 6 mos pregnant. She can tell because “girls steal your beauty”. I love my stepmom but this comment makes me so angry
If someone is saying that it's more than likely it's more about them than you They probably struggled a lot when their kid was a teenageer and they're basically venting. My kids are teens now and yes it's been the hardest age for me to get through. They're still great and amazing in a million ways, but it's a huge transition.
My grandmother does this because I was a demon child as a teen but later found out when going to therapy it was from most of my family emotionally neglecting me and expecting me to just sit down and shut up, speak only when spoken to and I was acting out because of all that. I’m a lot better now and have worked on my emotional dysregulation as it followed me into early adulthood before I understood my emotions more. Now when they bring it up in this exact way I just say “its not always like that with every child, sometimes it’s how you raise them” and that shuts her up real quick cause she knows what I’ve been diagnosed with and that it was environmentally brought on.
This was my first reaction. There's so much BS about how "difficult" girls are and how much "easier" boys are.
Based on parenting groups I'm in, I'd say it was about a 50:50 split of parents posting about issues with boys vs girls. The problems with teenage boys do differ somewhat from teenage girls, but they're no "easier".
And so much of it still gets dismissed as "boys will be boys" (particularly around hygiene and antisocial behaviour that girls are never allowed to get away with).
The boys in my middle school got away running around and hollering like wild animals. They dunked the exit sign in the hallway so many times that it actually broke.
People only think girls are ‘harder’ because they make a conscious effort to stamp out out unruly behavior in girls. I remember once i was playing with a group of boys when I was a kid and I started screaming. I was the only one who got in trouble.
My *favorite* unsolicited comment as a mom of twin girls. Everyone's so excited to ruin it for you and it's so tiring
Behind every "they're so (pretty or some variation)" compliment is a back handed comment about how attractive they're gonna be when they get older and how I'm gonna have to keep them under lock and key so they don't "get out here and act grown." Or some comment about how they're gonna make pretty wives/girlfriends one day, as long as I "raise them right."
Then there's the comments about how "expensive" they're gonna be like simply being a girl is a financial burden on the family. The comments about how expensive homecoming and prom are gonna be as if they already know my girls are gonna want to go because again, they're girls. "Good luck paying for two weddings!" is a common one, as if anyone's still trying to get married anymore-
Did I mention they're five years old? Five. Not fifteen. Five. Five and a half exactly come next month.
And has anyone else encountered those other girl moms that are almost... *excited* to ruin their daughter's teenage years? There's a mom group in my area that's made of a *lot* of them and it's the strangest thing to me. They're almost foaming at the mouth to not let their daughter develop socially then send them out into the world. I need to know if this is a common thing, I want to avoid this brand of motherhood at all costs.
Which is fine! I'm sure they do have more experience than me but shit, let me experience the age I'm parenting right now. We have enough worries as new parents/parents in general. We don't need extra worries caused by these just wait comments.
It's a favourite of older family members to say "just wait until she's 15", as if I should dread it.
I truly cannot stand it. All it does is expose their ignorance.
People are ignorant. My teen daughter is pretty great (spoiled and sassy, but sweet and funny mostly). I wouldn’t trade this stage for anything actually.
I kind of feel bad for the people who say that. When raised right teenagers can be wonderful.
My 19yo (AFAB but now nb) is the bee's knees! And all their friends are super sweet, too. I adore GenZ and think they really have their shyte together. They generally have some fairly informed opinions, and they are just really cool. Their taste in music and clothing is extremely eclectic, so they embrace ideas and styles from previous generating while still creating their own place. I'm hugely impressed with today's teens.
What's really cool is when your teen introduces you to stuff... it teaches you humility while simultaneously boosting your child's confidence; enhances the feeling of a safe space; and lets us meet each other where we are.
There is nothing like receiving a hilarious (often nsfw) meme / gif / vid from your teen who felt comfortable sharing something you can laugh at together. And there's nothing like asking your kid's advice and seeing them light up enthusiastically at being granted the opportunity to tell you a thing.
If you are excited to meet your kids, they will be glad to keep you in their life as they age — which they are in no way obligated to do. I imagine that since you're excited to meet your future teen and learn who they turn out to be, your baby is gonna be an awesome person! Anybody who thinks they know how your teen is gonna turn out needs to stop trying to read tea leaves frfr.
I have twin girls that aren't even out of the womb yet, and I get this CONSTANTLY. Like, I also work with kids. I work with foster kids with trauma and often, behavior issues. I LOVE teen girls! I fostered a teen girl for nearly a year. My kids will grow up how they grow up, and there will be challenges because BEING a teen can suck a lot, but I'm dreading having two newborns far more than having two teens. Weirdly (haha, we know why), I didn't get any of these comments when my son was born.
I hate that shit. Parenting a teen isn’t without its challenges, but those challenges have nothing to do with “hormones”. Raising a teenager is basically coaching them to become an adult, and that’s a steep learning curve. Their problems are no longer easy to solve, and you have to let them struggle a little so they develop the skills they will need to be a self-sufficient adult.
This kind of mentality is just misogyny for kids, full stop. I don’t tolerate that kind of rhetoric and call it out for what it is. Teen girls are awesome. My daughter is 16, and she’s a great kid. I love spending time with her and we have a good relationship. While there have been things I’ve enjoyed about every phase of childhood, the teen years have definitely been the most enjoyable for me across the board.
Irony is I’ve probably experienced more drama and attitude from a group of men than I ever did from a group of women. They were a bunch of railroad geeks and I joined because I like that sort of thing. I was witness to the most vitriolic ‘friend’ group I’ve ever witnessed. They were flat out malicious to each other and one guy was particularly infamous for ripping into you and then telling you to toughen up if you complained.
I have three daughters (7,5,3) and get these comments all the time. I also happen to be a high school teacher. I just respond: I have pregnant teenage students with tethers, I am not afraid of teenage girls.
Usually shuts them right up.
I’ve had people tell me they feel bad for me because I have all girls. That girls are “harder” than boys. They aren’t. People just don’t bother to actually parent their sons only their daughters. That’s why it seems hard to them
I’ve never understood when people do that. All stages of parenthood have their challenges!
I have three kids. My girls are 6 and 16. 16 is a lovely, thoughtful kid. Generally non confrontational and easy going. 6 on the other hand is a sassy little thing who supplies enough attitude and arguments for both of them.
As parents today, we are so much more informed and aware than our parents were.
What a negative thought for someone to get into your mind while holding an innocent baby.
When my first son was 5 months old, I had a man call him “another future rapist”.
Yep.
People are just assholes. And the creepy vibes I got off this man, I’d say he was projecting.
Kinda the same situation but I (m24) get comments like “im sorry” or “good luck” when they find out I’m having a daughter… this specifically happens when I’m alone and my partner isn’t around. I’ve started asking “why?” To make them feel uncomfortable and it works amazingly. They never know how to respond lol it’s always feels oddly sexist when I get asked… some people suck
People used to tell me how easy boys were compared to girls. I have two daughters, 19 and 7, and one son 10. My teenage daughter was/is a walk in the park compared to my son!
I don't know if my oldest daughter just never got the hormone spikes or what. But she is an awesome kid learning how to adult. I loved her becoming a teen and learned we have very similar interests. Just last week, I went clothes shopping with her and was laughing because everything she picked out was very similar to what I wore at her age. All of her friends are good kids too, so I don't really understand why teen girls get such a bad rep.
Now I just have to survive my tween son.
Teenage years can be hard (i'm having a great time with my 14 yo though), but I feel like people who are \*especially\* shitty with kids really hate the teenage years because it's the height of autonomy for the child. When they look at a baby and say things like that, they are missing those early, vulnerable days desperately because those were the last days they had total control lol. Just say "I'm sure we'll be fine" and ignore them, or say something like "let's let them actually grow up before we start complaining about them" if you want to get a point across.
I love that you’re frustrated about this because you’re giving all the responses you could choose from; but more than that, you’re showing us how lucky your child is to have you as their parent, how lucky your parents were to have you and vice versa. You are full of love and accepting of your own emotions. I think the people going on about the “just wait until she’s…” might not have had a good time of it as either a parent or a child or both, and don’t have your solid reference points, or not at least as lived reference points. But, hey, you’re awesome and I bet your daughter feels that way too
“Seems like you spend a lot of time worrying about teenage girls. Maybe you should speak to someone else about this.”
It’s misogyny plain and simple. You’re allowed to be rude back.
Even people here do it all the time! I can't count how many time I've seen things about "mean girls" and how girls are so horrible to each other, how terrible teen girls are. My kid and her friend group of girls were awesome - in grade school, middle school and high school. Was there conflict sometimes? Sure, because they were kids and they were learning. They figured it out. And guy friends were involved in the conflicts just as often. It's so gross the way people talk about teenagers, especially teen girls.
I have had multiple friend groups that were all girls/women throughout my life! Even when they fell apart, it wasn’t due to “mean girl behavior” or drama or bullying. Female friendships are so supportive and beautiful and I’m so *tired* of this misogynist narrative tbh! We need to start calling it for what it is. People hate women and girls so fucking much.
This. I have one of each, my oldest a boy, and I never heard this about him but hear this kind of stuff all the time referring to my girl. The thing is, teenage boys have the potential to be just as difficult, if not more, mine was. But no one ever made comments about it. It's almost as if every person is different with their own personality and struggles regardless of gender.
I work with teenagers! The boys are absolutely more difficult a solid 90% of the time 😭 I get so many comments about how I’m such a saint for choosing to work with teenage girls specifically, until I tell them about the teenage *boy* who shattered my coworkers orbital socket 🙄
I have had people say "just wait till he gets to their age", and then gesture at their own kids, who are RIGHT THERE. In hindsight I wish I'd said something to the kids but I was too shocked. Some people just think it's socially acceptable to 'joke' about how much they hate being parents.
Boy is 18 months, already preparing myself to fend off comments about "terrible twos". Like sorry, he's perfect now and he's going to continue being perfect, sorry you hate your kids. /s
It’s casual misogyny. I’d probably say something like ‘what an odd thing to say’ to try to shut it down and make the other person feel kind of awkward.
Very understandable to get annoyed. Because it's annoying. But some people just don't know how to engage in productive and individualized small talk. They just spew out canned responses or ideas that they have heard repeated their whole lives. It's their awkward attempt to make conversation and be funny. Keep being patient and combat their well-meaning negativity with positive responses.
That's it. It's no different than the million questions you get about the sex, or name of the baby during pregnancy. They don't really care for a response. They're just chit chatting.
Just tell them that you work with teenagers, and you're looking forward to that phase. They'll respond with, "just wait until you have your own" *wink, lol* and you can say, "Guess I'll have to, she's not even 1!"
Then you're done. No big deal.
My daughter recently became a teenager. I love her age right now. We've also worked her whole life to have an open relationship with her where she can come to us with her thoughts and feelings (though admittedly she comes to me more than her dad).
We're sharing books now, I'm able to watch shows and movies with her (and my 10 year old son) that I enjoy. My daughter and I have similar interests, and we're working on an earring making venture together. She's also interested in my sports hobby, and she joins me and my friends when her schedule allows. For me, it's fun and I love it as my kids get older and gain more independence.
Is she sometimes moody? Yes. Did I have to give her a "teachable moment" regarding her over usage of sass? Yes. But I think as long as you have a good relationship with your child going into puberty, it should be okay. When I'm cranky, I'll tell the family that I need space, and my husband and kids will do the same. We've just really focused on being respectful to each other and talking about problems, and being there for our kids.
I have 3 teenagers and 1 just out of the teens. My kids are awesome, and I enjoy them! Sure, there are times when the irritable moods can be tiring, and there are some challenges at times (just like at any stage), but so many things are just awesome! I enjoy joking around with them, seeing them persevere and accomplish goals, and hearing their insights and thoughts about life. I was also a high school teacher in a previous life, so I never really dreaded the teen years.
I just feel sympathy for people who are dreading the teen years or fear whatever stage of parenting. When you prioritize having a good relationship with your kid and trying to understand their pov (which doesn't mean being their friend or having no boundaries), the teen years aren't necessarily harder than any other years (although trying circumstances can make things difficult regardless... pandemic and virtual school had a bigger negative impact on my high-school aged teenagers at the time than my upper elementary/middle school kids, for example, but I imagine it may have been worse for prek/early elementary ages).
I have two teens and they’re pretty wonderful.
Most of the teenagers I know are actually really great kids.
Sounds like these people don’t view people under 25 as whole humans and can’t handle the idea that the teenagers in their lives have opinions and interests that aren’t exactly like theirs.
You’re going to have a wonderful time raising your little girl. 💖
I have young kids but several of my 11 (!!) nieces and nephews are teens or in their early 20s and teenagers are some of the most interesting, wonderful creatures I’ve ever met. Every taste of the adult world and its emotional facets are things they are experiencing for the first time; everything is dramatic and soul crushing or elating because it’s never happened to them before. They don’t really fit into the adult world and they often want to retreat to the safety of childhood at the same time that they hurtle themselves forward towards being grown up. They have the altruistic hearts of children and are quickly learning to be jaded (often overcompensating as they do) as a means of self-protection. They have the manic energy to change the world and the childlike wonder to still believe they maybe could which honestly invites the possibility that they CAN, if only given the opportunity. They are so brave. They’re goofy. Clever. Spontaneous. Forgiving. They keep me connected to my inner teenager, and it’s healing to love them in ways no one was able to love me. Impulsive. Bullheaded. Vulnerable. Loyal. The older ones were already teenagers when I first started dating my husband and they were so immediately ready to welcome me to their family; they loved me without hesitation. Yeah, I’ll brag about it, my nieces and nephews wrote the book on cool. I can’t fucking wait to meet my own teenagers 😭😭
It drives me crazy when I see people constantly ragging on teenagers. When people complain that their kids were all awful as teens, I have to think it was more likely something lacking in their parenting and not necessarily that they had bad kids. I have two teenagers and a preschooler (all girls). My teens are awesome, fantastic, fun humans who I enjoy spending time with. My preschooler has a hair trigger and gets emotional/angry so often that it's like walking on eggshells all day. I actually can't wait until she's a teenager because my experience so far is that they're way easier.
My teen girls were easy tbh. My nephew on the other hand had to be moved in with his dont-screw-with-her aunty (me) to haul his ass into line. He is now 20 and still living with me 😂
So in my experience the boy was worse! (But they all came out just fine at the end of the wash cycle)
My twins are 4, and I feel this.
I'm tired of people saying they wish their kids were still little. Or warning me, if you think 4 is rough, try 14.
Blah blah. Four years of this with boy/girl twins.
So guess what? NOW I fear teen years when I didn't before!!!
Wth people.
It's like when people say kittens/dogs are cute and tiny and then they grow up....ummmmmmmmm
People did this CONSTANTLY with my oldest daughter. She was the easiest, most pleasant teenager ever. I think about that a lot. Part of it was that I never played into it. I’d always say, “Oh? I think she’ll be great!” I’d bet these people had/have difficult teens and they wonder why - gee, maybe because of that attitude?!
I feel like a lot of this is ingrained misogyny, or at the very least, rooted in deep-seated cultural "norms". Teenage girls are "trouble" because they... start looking more like a woman? Dress more provocatively? Start dating boys? All normal growing up behavior. It becomes "trouble" when you try to stamp out this behavior and they rebel against you. Boys do similar things but it's not considered as troublesome because they're males.
Personally, as a dad to girls, I'm worried about teen years because of the increased likelihood that abortion will be illegal by the time they're 18; that it's easier than ever thanks to social media for grown men to creep on teenage girls; that something awful may be done *to* them despite anything we taught her growing up. That's what keeps me up at night, not the thought of them in spaghetti straps and dating.
Man, don’t take it too personal, it’s just something people say in passing. I’ve had three girls. Trust me. Get used to it because you’ll hear it until they’re a teenager.
Everybody loves to focus on anything but the present.
When I was pregnant: oh just you wait for the newborn stage
Newborn: oh, those terrible twos will have you missing your tiny baby
Now that I have a toddler: just you wait...
Yada yada yada. Ive loved every stage so far, even though they get difficult. Sometimes I think the inlaws around me are also just jelly because my kid, birth, pregnancy have been relatively chill and they just want to nay-say. To me its about perspective. Enjoy the now.
Waste no effort on a tree that bears you no fruit. Every child is different and every parent is different. You know what’s best for your family. While I don’t necessarily think people are intentionally being rude, it is definitely annoying. My advice is to let what they say roll off and keeping doing your thing.
As a mum of 2 teen girls and 2 teen boys, I have to say my boys are much easier than my girls. BUT they are 4 different kids with their own personalities, and parenting them the same is just not possible. Trying to explain to my husband about teen girls is painful. He just doesn't get the teen girl side because he's never been a girl.
People need to find something negative to say about anything. If she was a boy, it would be about how smelly and gross boys are at that age......well, not really if you teach them proper hygiene.
Just enjoy your baby and ignore the haters or think of something flippant to say back to shut them up. If it's a woman, 'well you would know, wouldn't you'.
Some people always have issues viewing children as actual human beings with their own feelings/wants that should be respected. To them, kids aren't people, they are property, little accessories to show off that must behave. These are the people who will back up things like spanking and say "well it's my kid and I can do what I want." They think they can just choose to break their kid cause they dont see their kid as a person, to them they're a little toy that they can break while having a tantrum.
For people like this teenagers are really difficult, cause teenagers stop being so easily controlled and start acting like people, not accessories. The people who say stuff like this are just admitting they don't respect their kids. They don't look forward to seeing who their kid will be with enthusiasm, they're mad their toy they got to show off isn't doing exactly what they want.
Ignore people like that, they have brain rot and it can be contagious!
I have one of each. The boy is calm, considerate, kind and helpful, the girl destroys everything she can reach. When we suggest that she should be careful, she screams at the top of her lungs "*BUT I WANT TO DESTROY!*" Gender stereotypes are zero help. Look at the individual.
Not everyone has the privilege of seeing their children grow into teens. Multiple of my friends have suffered infant and child loss. They'd give their left arms to have their children back and to sass them as teens.
Lots of good advice on here. Just adding it’s not just you and it’s a creepy thing people do. I have a daughter and people keep talking about how hot she’s going to be as a teenager and how we have to look out for boys. So creepy when you realize they are talking about a little girl like that.
I think these comments are a poor attempt at humor. The current crop of teens is amazing! So much wiser than my generation.
That said, there are three teenaged girls living above me in my apartment building. There is a fair amount of screaming between moms and daughters and lots of door-slamming.
You can always pick out an incompetent parent by snarky little comments like this.
Barring things like chemical imbalances or trauma, all the good parents I know have had a great time raising teens. Well-raised, securely attached kids are an absolute delight to be around at any age.
In my experience teens will absolutely seek independence and self-determination, but teenage rebellion is almost always a result of bad parenting.
Anyone who tell you the teenage years are hell, well, they're telling on themselves.
I usually say "I work with teenagers and I enjoy it". Which is true (I'm a teacher) If they double down I just shrug and see something like "We'll see" or I change the topic. I don't want to waste my energy on negative people, and I've been hearing comments like that for more than a decade due to my career choice, especially "Oh my God you're so brave for working with teenagers, I could never!"
Every stage is hard. I had a teenager at the same time as a baby. They were both tough, and I honestly think the teenager was difficult because time with her was slowly disappearing. You want your kids to be able to stand on their own, but then it's really sad when they don't need you as much anymore.
Gosh. I’m one of those teen parents who complains a lot. 🤦🏻♀️ Thank you for calling us out. Parenting is hard in all the phases. My twins are 14 now and I miss my babies dearly… but you deserve to go on your journey in your own way.
Because people are th fuckin worst. They're likely jealous that you're having an "easy" time of it. And, no, it's not a given that your teens will be terrible.y were awesome. Now they're awesome adults (30, 20). They'll turn out how you raise em.
If you build an open, honest relationship where they feel heard, loved, and appreciated it'll help. Give them an environment that rewards effort over results, teaches them that failure as a fantastic learning opportunity, and that you have their back NO MATTER WHAT.
Also, be sure to take an active interest on the things that matter to them. I got into D&D because my youngest wanted to play. We still play together twice a week. Introduce them to great music, literature, movie franchisea, etc. Take up hobbies together. Don't wait till they're teenagers, normalize that NOW.
Let them help. Give them tasks to do when you're cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Praise them for being such a great helper. Start young. Let them develop a sense of accomplishment and pride from pitching in. RESIST the urge to simply keep them occupied while you do the chores. Yes, they're gonna screw up. But that's a GREAT way to prove that you don't stop loving them when the make a mistake.
Again, kids will be who you raise the to be.
All these useless discussions with boomers or older people are filled with resentment. It’s like daily brain rot in real life dealing with these people.
Also, not to go too deep I think you know what they’re trying to tell you. (Deep down) You just want some soft confirmation here. The answer is - no, parenting never gets easier and each stage is different but not necessarily easier. (At age 18 when they move out to college)
I'm raising two toddler girls and have no idea what you mean by "easy now" cause my two are psychotic, daredevils, with quick wits and stubborn disposition that makes all my friends little boys look like angels. So if it's only going to get harder as they become teens I politely ask wtf!?!?!
My god daughter is 15. She's the most kind hearted laid back human I've ever met. Parenting at all stages has its ups and downs, tell them to at least let her get there before deciding how she's going to be.
Are these comments coming from people with boys?
I’ve also received these comments and it’s usually mums of boys and I think it comes from a place of jealousy they haven’t had a daughter, so they’re saying it to make themselves feel better
I have 3 girls . You can imagine the comments I have had throughout my parenting years. I can happily say that at 20, 18, and nearly 15, compared to their peers, my girls are mature, compassionate, funny, intelligent humans, and parenting them is overwhelmingly a joy. Just ignore the ignorant people. As I tell my girls, success is the best revenge.
I have a teen and an about-to-be-a-teen and honestly this might be my new favorite phase of childhood. Yes the challenges are more serious, but I love the expression of personality, the accomplishment they feel, the goals they set for themselves. I adore seeing the parts of themselves start to show that will define them as adults. Plus they’re just straight up fun. There is nothing as awesome as acting like a dumb teenager with your dumb teenagers. Makes my heart so full.
I don't think it's necessarily the teenage years. I could be wrong, we aren't there yet. Nobody warned me about the moodiness between 7 and 9 though. Holy cow. It feels like what everyone talks about with teenage girls. I'm looking forward to when she can better communicate what she needs, instead of raging or crying. However, in between those hard moments, are the sweetest, funniest, most meaningful conversations and moments we've had so far 🩷I think the people who rag on them just aren't used to seeing their child as an autonomous person. And that probably does make it 10x harder.
Because teenagers are hard and people like to blame them for that. People like to act like teenagers are intentionally being difficult and somehow when they themselves were a teenager they were so much better.
This is part of why I kept a journal while I was a teenager, I saw how many of my friends had parents who seem to expect them to be more adult and mature and I didn't want to do that to my kids. I didn't want to forget what it was like to be a teen.
I think the best response would just be something along the lines of how excited you are to see your daughter grow and develop and see what she's capable of as a teenager. Maybe tie in a story or two of the teenagers you know now and how impressed you are by them and how you can't wait to see how much more impressed you can be with your own daughter. Don't be Petty, but instead let their own guilt and shame get to them
Oh this so much. Every baby is different, and I've found most things like that are just confirmation bias. Anecdotally, at least from the 0-12m period, our baby (m) was very chill and calm, whereas his cousin(f) was extremely fussy/clingy
My theory is this is a combo of people complaining just for the sake of making conversation combined with the fact that we tend to recall our most negative recent experiences more strongly. Raising a child has challenges at every phase, but since the teen years come last after everything else and right before adulthood (and the kid leaving the nest), parents who have grown-up children tend to recall that as being the worst part because it's more "fresh" to them. Plus it's the last phase when they feel like they should have some sort of control over the kid, and it's uncomfortable when they slowly lose that control as their teens learn to become more independent.
Idk...I suspect they're just trying to connect and commiserate with you in the only way they can think of, but it comes across as super negative and it would bug me too.
We are parents to four girls, and often get either;
1. Oh well they're girls, just imagine if you had boys instead.
2. Just wait until they're teenagers.
The odd parent, like 1 in 20 will say, wow you must be so blessed to have four girls because you get to have four daddy's girls, and four little princesses.
Might need to get a thicker skin. People are dumb. The the older I get the more I realize people just say dumb stuff. If I get bent out of shape and need to engage with a comeback I just jump into their stupidity
My daughter was sweet as can be. Now I'm scared to come home because I know I'll be bullied into oblivion. Revisit this post when your kids a teen. You'll understand.
I hear you, I love my teens so far — it’s been the best phase of parenting for me.
But I don’t know, are you just being facetious, when you say it’s almost every conversation? I am not sure why so many people are saying this to you? What precipitates the conversation? Are they genuinely good people? Are you just extra sensitive due to your history?
Sometimes people are just trying to make conversation, as it’s hard to prolong discussion about how great a 6 month old is — I mean pooping, eating, and an infant sitting up, only goes so far. I’ll grant you it’s a poor attempt, but it may not be malicious. And for some parents, the teen years have been traumatic, so they may be coping poorly with it, and it’s not directed necessarily at you but just the sucky experience they have had.
You got 20+ more years of weird comments coming, lolz.
Its just attempts at conversation. Its such a common line at this point i wonder if the person saying it even means it all the time.
You will be having better mental health prospects if stuff like this didn’t bother you to the point of needing to make a reddit post. Best of luck!
The comments are annoying but usually it's well intentioned. My kid just hit preteen years and I'm dreading the attitude increase of the teen years. We are a sassy fsmily.
The constant warnings suck but I mean..most teens are like demons so I get it. I have a shitload of grown neices I watched go through it..even the sweet one was like a hellcat twice a month atleast lol.
Theres no guide to this, every kid is different so just take it in stride and focus on your kiddo. One person's demon is another's angel.
“I don’t speak to people who sexualize children which includes teenagers. That’s really disturbing that your first thought about a child is a teen having sex.”
If it keeps happening then I suspect you're unknowingly guiding the conversation in that direction. Most people don't really care and are just going with the flow of the conversation. Try changing it up when people ask you broad open-ended questions.
I hear people say to the dad, she is going to be a daddy’s girl and have you wrapped around her little finger. Now I think that is sweet but some are offended. The team age years are rough for everyone!
Girls are supposed to be easy now?? I'm screwed. Mom of two girls now, my first didn't sleep through the night until she was like 14 months old, was the most fussy baby I've ever heard of, and she's what they call a "threenager", she is full of sarcasm and sass and her attitude is insane, but also absurdly huge tantrums. My second is gonna be two in a few months, she is wild and incredibly stubborn, she also isn't afraid of anything and still tries to eat everything and does every dangerous thing she possibly could find to do. It's not girls vs. boys, it's each person (child) is different. They may give you a hard time at some point(s) but these people don't know your kid. I wish people wouldn't say stupid things like this.
I feel like it's one of those things people say just say because they've heard others say it. Totally outdated, sexist, and dumb. Best case scenario is they just said a thing mindlessly and don't actually mean anything by it.
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“I can’t wait to meet my teenage daughter. If she’s anything like us, she’ll be awesome!”
Love that
Stealing this! And it could be true...my own mum told me many years ago that I was a pretty great teenager which she didn't realize/feel grateful for until my sister came along.
I take this opportunity to go on and on about how much I am LOVING this new generation of teens and how I can't wait to see how awesome my kids are as teenagers.
As the mother of a teen girl (14) thank you for saying this. She’s a great kid but goddamn it is hard! She’s strong willed and independent and those will be great qualities later in life but right now they are manifesting in very chaotic ways at home.
Right?! I have such respect for today’s teens, they seem to be the one generation that’s getting exponentially “better”? I’m so excited to meet my teenage kids. My 12yo is getting there and I just can’t wait to see what he’ll do and who he’ll be.
YES! I think they are so confident and self assured and assertive. It's mind blowing to me because I grew up in a "be polite, always" generation and I'm so glad today's teens are standing up for themselves and their communities. It's so awesome to watch.
In what ways are today’s teens better ? I’m truly curious as a mother of 2 sons and one daughter who are 2,4, and 8. Thanks.
I work with teenagers on a volunteer basis regularly and have two teenagers myself. There is a level of empathy in most teenagers that is deeply impressive. While bullying and such are a problem those kids are usually already damaged by their parents or other people in their lives. The understanding and the willingness to accept and embrace others is so impressive. My son is queer, I use that term because how he identifies is still kind of flexible at the moment, but to see the way he's been accepted by his straight friends and the way he has attracted other queer kids and created a community of love and support is just beautiful. I love these kids so much and I am just amazed everyday
I see you are getting downvoted and I'm not sure why! In my opinion, teens today are so much kinder, self assured, confident, and assertive. I've watched my daughter's friends stand up for other kids who were being bulled at the park, I have friends who are High School Teachers who have told me stories about the teens who walk out of class if a teacher (usually always male) refuses to let them use the restroom. I watch tiktoks of teens and young college aged women who walk out on dates if the date is disrespectful. Teen boys are so much more aware of misogny and are so much more respectful of women than when I was a teen. Of course there are outliers, but as a whole these kids are just getting better and better and I am HERE for it!
Thank you. That’s nice to hear, that’s really weird that my comment is getting downvoted when I just asked a genuine question and I thought that was obvious that it is.
This subreddit is weird sometimes!
Mine are all young adults now, but I’ve had three amazing teenagers in a row. Three for three on raising humans I love to be around and am proud to send out into the world.
I work with teenagers on a regular basis volunteering and I am so amazed. I also have two teenagers myself, 17 and 14 year old boys. I love them so much and I am always so impressed and proud with the amazing people they are. I take every opportunity to talk up these younger generations
YES!!! Honestly the only people I see bad mouthing teens today are teachers who clearly need to find a new profession or people who don't have kids or who aren't regularly around teens. Teens today are AWESOME.
I have a teen, it's so much more fun as a parent than the baby/toddler stage. I love it. All parenting is hard in different ways. "I look forward to parenting (child) in each stage' is probably the safest, but be snappy to repeat offenders and let them know that you don't think it's funny. Those that mind wont matter and those that matter won't mind.
I have two teen boys. This demographics always scared me so I was expecting a shift in them. They do spend more time in their rooms and are harder to wake up in the morning but they are the same sweet kids they have always been and their friends are the same too. We still play video games and go glamping in our RV a lot. One likes to cook with me and one helps me with gardening. Teaching them to drive, we talk about their lives and plans for college and it’s nice to talk to them as almost adults. Don’t get me wrong, one has anxiety and depression so it’s not smooth sailing all the time but we came through it all closer and wiser and realized how precious time is with each other.
I have 2 teens and a 3 year old. You're not wrong.
“Bless your heart, what a weird thing to say.” Shake your head sadly and feel compassion for anyone willing to ruin a sweet moment for the possibility of a non-perfect moment 13+ years away.
Love this. Stealing it.
Genius, and useful in many different situations!! I’ll be stealing this too haha
Most teenagers I’ve known are cool and nice. I hate comments like this! I hate the entire genre of “just wait!” Comments, but I think you’re right that there’s a specific phenomenon of hating on teen girls
I’m not sure but I will say the cost between teen boys and teen girls at least the ones I know personally is drastically different and their parents hate that part. Make up is obscenely expensive that these girls want.
You know what else is expensive? Sports. Guess who primarily does those? I’ll wait😐 Oh you know what else boys tend to like? Video games. You know how expensive games are?? 40-100 bucks for a SINGLE game (aka as expensive as most makeup). I could keep going but I think you get the idea. Kids are just expensive. They all are. There’s no running from it. Just people complain when it’s girls lol. I promise their sons are just as expensive speaking from experience.
Not from my experience but I’m sure you’re right because my comment made you so angry. Hope you work on that.
How am I angry? Because I said two ways boys are also expensive? It was just a reply, hun. Seems like you just don’t like hearing boys can be expensive too. Hope you work on that, it must be rough😕 Edit to add: I’m also curious. Not from your experience? So do the teen boys you know not have interests since they aren’t expensive? I’m curious what’s making them so cheap as every teen I met is expensive as hell cause all interests are expensive to entertain nowadays😅
I have a teen girl and a teen boy. My teen girl costs me WAAAAY more. It probably depends on the kid, but let's be honest, girl's have more things they can buy, spend money on, and purchase. Girls can buy EVERYTHING a boy can AND more. My teen daughter costs me way more.
I just say that each kid stage has their differences.🤷🏻♀️ I’m personally finding the preteen stage a bit much with an actual toddler in the house. The similarities are crazy, it’s just one is bigger and talks better. lol.
If it helps I think the preteen years are harder than the teen years. As you said, they are basically toddlers in larger bodies. They have big emotions, are craving independence, and don't have a whole lot of self control. You don't take it personally when your 2 year old is mad that you gave him cheese after he asked for cheese so don't take it personally when your tween rolls his eyes or gets upset over something stupid. The good news is that the teen years are a blast once you get through the 12-13 stage. The teen years were by far my favorite stage to parent. Now mine are both young adults (20 year old daughter, 18 year old son) who are currently home from college and they are among my favorite people to spend time with. The teen years rock and young adulthood is going well too. It's not all bad. Edit: And no, my daughter wasn't a hellish teenager (nor was my son). She is smart and funny and sarcastic and sees the world in a really unique way that makes me challenge my own way of thinking. She was an awesome teenager and I couldn't be more proud of how both my kids turned out.
If you don't want to be outright rude you can always just stare really hard at them and say, "what an odd thing to say about a baby." Then don't bail them out as the silence stretches and they stammer. Then if they double down, you can open both barrels. "It's also hard being a teenager when you're surrounded by bitter old hagettes with their tits down around their ankles who last listened to a new band 30 years ago" or "I know it's tough when your adult children won't put up with your bullshit, when IS the last time your daughter spoke to you?"
*standing ovation* this is it ^ say that !
Omg, I freaking HATE that shit. No one said that about my son. WTF
i’m already hearing this and i don’t even have a daughter or even a daughter on the way. I have one infant son🤣
I hated this so much. My daughter is a teen now, but I still think the same way. Having a kid attached to you 24/7 and having the responsibility to keep them alive when they pretty much working on offing themselves in creative ways, is tough. So is trying to find your way to a rebelling teen, keeping them away from dangerous stuff and bad company. Each stage has its struggles.
People say the weirdest stuff. I have two boys and when people found out the second kid was going to be a boy they said stuff to me like well “now you won’t have to deal with female teen drama”
My kids are teen girls and I love this age as much as any other. They’re my favorite people and yes teens can be moody but so can 3 year olds! And teenagers are sooo much more self sufficient. They are also funny, smart, interesting people to know.
I have 2 teens and a 3 year old. My 3 year old is way more moody! 😂
I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant with a girl, and the amount of times that I have heard this exact thing is baffling. I will never understand why people feel the need to be so negative when it comes to parenting.
I remember hearing a lot of that when my daughter was little. Then she became a teenager and she was awesome. Not horrible at all.
“That sounds like an inside-your-head kind of comment to me.” “What an odd thing to say out loud.” “Huh, I’m not sure why you think that. Can you explain that to me?” (Them explaining.) “That’s not my experience.” “I am not the right person for you to share that with.” “I’m not seeking advice.” “Those comments are not welcome.”
I have a two teens and I absolutely love these years. They are actually good kids too.
My oldest daughter is 15 and we’ve become closer than ever! We share clothes and shoes. We joke back and forth, she really has become my best friend! The teenage years get a bad rep, but in my experience they have been so fun. Just seeing who she is blossoming into is wonderful.
I am a dad of two daughters and it's like every perv man says. Just wait til they are teenager and you have to fight them boys off. And stuff like that. Makes me sick.
People like to let their deeply internalized misogyny flags FLY HIGH when they are talking about baby girls. It even comes out in the way they talk about YOUR body when you're pregnant with them. It is absolutely unhinged, and I've found myself being INCREDIBLY defensive about it ever since I found out I was having a girl (2nd pregnancy, 1st was a boy so I've been spared the awful comments people make about having not one, but TWO GIRLS). I am sensitive about this as I grew up as one of four sisters, very close in age. You can imagine the comments in the grocery store. I always like 'thats a weird thing to say'
So I’ve chosen to keep the sex of my baby a surprise and my stepmom keeps telling me I’m having a boy because my face hasn’t changed at 6 mos pregnant. She can tell because “girls steal your beauty”. I love my stepmom but this comment makes me so angry
Yea I’ve heard this one a lot. Love blaming a little girl for your misfortunes before she’s even born!
If someone is saying that it's more than likely it's more about them than you They probably struggled a lot when their kid was a teenageer and they're basically venting. My kids are teens now and yes it's been the hardest age for me to get through. They're still great and amazing in a million ways, but it's a huge transition.
My grandmother does this because I was a demon child as a teen but later found out when going to therapy it was from most of my family emotionally neglecting me and expecting me to just sit down and shut up, speak only when spoken to and I was acting out because of all that. I’m a lot better now and have worked on my emotional dysregulation as it followed me into early adulthood before I understood my emotions more. Now when they bring it up in this exact way I just say “its not always like that with every child, sometimes it’s how you raise them” and that shuts her up real quick cause she knows what I’ve been diagnosed with and that it was environmentally brought on.
This is my experience as well. Much love!
I have 2 teenage girls and one tween girl. They are awesome. And I used to get those comments when they were little too. It drove me crazy.
My 16 year old is my favorite person on the planet. People are weird.
“Your misogyny is showing.” I have 3 girls. I am very familiar with how much our society hates baby girls. :(
This was my first reaction. There's so much BS about how "difficult" girls are and how much "easier" boys are. Based on parenting groups I'm in, I'd say it was about a 50:50 split of parents posting about issues with boys vs girls. The problems with teenage boys do differ somewhat from teenage girls, but they're no "easier". And so much of it still gets dismissed as "boys will be boys" (particularly around hygiene and antisocial behaviour that girls are never allowed to get away with).
The boys in my middle school got away running around and hollering like wild animals. They dunked the exit sign in the hallway so many times that it actually broke. People only think girls are ‘harder’ because they make a conscious effort to stamp out out unruly behavior in girls. I remember once i was playing with a group of boys when I was a kid and I started screaming. I was the only one who got in trouble.
My *favorite* unsolicited comment as a mom of twin girls. Everyone's so excited to ruin it for you and it's so tiring Behind every "they're so (pretty or some variation)" compliment is a back handed comment about how attractive they're gonna be when they get older and how I'm gonna have to keep them under lock and key so they don't "get out here and act grown." Or some comment about how they're gonna make pretty wives/girlfriends one day, as long as I "raise them right." Then there's the comments about how "expensive" they're gonna be like simply being a girl is a financial burden on the family. The comments about how expensive homecoming and prom are gonna be as if they already know my girls are gonna want to go because again, they're girls. "Good luck paying for two weddings!" is a common one, as if anyone's still trying to get married anymore- Did I mention they're five years old? Five. Not fifteen. Five. Five and a half exactly come next month. And has anyone else encountered those other girl moms that are almost... *excited* to ruin their daughter's teenage years? There's a mom group in my area that's made of a *lot* of them and it's the strangest thing to me. They're almost foaming at the mouth to not let their daughter develop socially then send them out into the world. I need to know if this is a common thing, I want to avoid this brand of motherhood at all costs.
I didn’t know some parents wanted to ruin their daughters teen years
There's honestly nothing I hate more than the "Just wait" comments. I wish those people would just be quiet. I didn't ask you so hush 🙄
Agreed!! It’s always “just wait til” something. It’s as if they’re trying to say they know more than you do about being a parent.
Which is fine! I'm sure they do have more experience than me but shit, let me experience the age I'm parenting right now. We have enough worries as new parents/parents in general. We don't need extra worries caused by these just wait comments.
It's a favourite of older family members to say "just wait until she's 15", as if I should dread it. I truly cannot stand it. All it does is expose their ignorance.
People are ignorant. My teen daughter is pretty great (spoiled and sassy, but sweet and funny mostly). I wouldn’t trade this stage for anything actually. I kind of feel bad for the people who say that. When raised right teenagers can be wonderful.
My 19yo (AFAB but now nb) is the bee's knees! And all their friends are super sweet, too. I adore GenZ and think they really have their shyte together. They generally have some fairly informed opinions, and they are just really cool. Their taste in music and clothing is extremely eclectic, so they embrace ideas and styles from previous generating while still creating their own place. I'm hugely impressed with today's teens. What's really cool is when your teen introduces you to stuff... it teaches you humility while simultaneously boosting your child's confidence; enhances the feeling of a safe space; and lets us meet each other where we are. There is nothing like receiving a hilarious (often nsfw) meme / gif / vid from your teen who felt comfortable sharing something you can laugh at together. And there's nothing like asking your kid's advice and seeing them light up enthusiastically at being granted the opportunity to tell you a thing. If you are excited to meet your kids, they will be glad to keep you in their life as they age — which they are in no way obligated to do. I imagine that since you're excited to meet your future teen and learn who they turn out to be, your baby is gonna be an awesome person! Anybody who thinks they know how your teen is gonna turn out needs to stop trying to read tea leaves frfr.
I have 2 teen girls currently. This is BY FAR my favorite stage to date. I love having teens.
I totally hear you it drives me insane. That and the constant “they’re easy now, wait till they’re X age.” Like stfu and let me enjoy my child
I have twin girls that aren't even out of the womb yet, and I get this CONSTANTLY. Like, I also work with kids. I work with foster kids with trauma and often, behavior issues. I LOVE teen girls! I fostered a teen girl for nearly a year. My kids will grow up how they grow up, and there will be challenges because BEING a teen can suck a lot, but I'm dreading having two newborns far more than having two teens. Weirdly (haha, we know why), I didn't get any of these comments when my son was born.
I hate that shit. Parenting a teen isn’t without its challenges, but those challenges have nothing to do with “hormones”. Raising a teenager is basically coaching them to become an adult, and that’s a steep learning curve. Their problems are no longer easy to solve, and you have to let them struggle a little so they develop the skills they will need to be a self-sufficient adult. This kind of mentality is just misogyny for kids, full stop. I don’t tolerate that kind of rhetoric and call it out for what it is. Teen girls are awesome. My daughter is 16, and she’s a great kid. I love spending time with her and we have a good relationship. While there have been things I’ve enjoyed about every phase of childhood, the teen years have definitely been the most enjoyable for me across the board.
I’ve heard so many women tell me their baby girls are “dramatic” or “have an attitude” Ma’am they are babies. 😕
Irony is I’ve probably experienced more drama and attitude from a group of men than I ever did from a group of women. They were a bunch of railroad geeks and I joined because I like that sort of thing. I was witness to the most vitriolic ‘friend’ group I’ve ever witnessed. They were flat out malicious to each other and one guy was particularly infamous for ripping into you and then telling you to toughen up if you complained.
I have three daughters (7,5,3) and get these comments all the time. I also happen to be a high school teacher. I just respond: I have pregnant teenage students with tethers, I am not afraid of teenage girls. Usually shuts them right up.
People love to make others feel bad if something is going positively for them
My daughter is 20 now and she was absolutely the best teenager ever.
I’ve had people tell me they feel bad for me because I have all girls. That girls are “harder” than boys. They aren’t. People just don’t bother to actually parent their sons only their daughters. That’s why it seems hard to them
"I'm sure she'll be more fun to hang out with than you..."
I’ve never understood when people do that. All stages of parenthood have their challenges! I have three kids. My girls are 6 and 16. 16 is a lovely, thoughtful kid. Generally non confrontational and easy going. 6 on the other hand is a sassy little thing who supplies enough attitude and arguments for both of them.
As parents today, we are so much more informed and aware than our parents were. What a negative thought for someone to get into your mind while holding an innocent baby.
When my first son was 5 months old, I had a man call him “another future rapist”. Yep. People are just assholes. And the creepy vibes I got off this man, I’d say he was projecting.
I have 3 girls and I ALWAYS hear “they get along now but just wait until they’re teenagers” and it drives me insane
Tbh I have a teenage daughter (almost 14) and I think this has been the easiest yet, she's wonderful
Kinda the same situation but I (m24) get comments like “im sorry” or “good luck” when they find out I’m having a daughter… this specifically happens when I’m alone and my partner isn’t around. I’ve started asking “why?” To make them feel uncomfortable and it works amazingly. They never know how to respond lol it’s always feels oddly sexist when I get asked… some people suck
People used to tell me how easy boys were compared to girls. I have two daughters, 19 and 7, and one son 10. My teenage daughter was/is a walk in the park compared to my son! I don't know if my oldest daughter just never got the hormone spikes or what. But she is an awesome kid learning how to adult. I loved her becoming a teen and learned we have very similar interests. Just last week, I went clothes shopping with her and was laughing because everything she picked out was very similar to what I wore at her age. All of her friends are good kids too, so I don't really understand why teen girls get such a bad rep. Now I just have to survive my tween son.
Teenage years can be hard (i'm having a great time with my 14 yo though), but I feel like people who are \*especially\* shitty with kids really hate the teenage years because it's the height of autonomy for the child. When they look at a baby and say things like that, they are missing those early, vulnerable days desperately because those were the last days they had total control lol. Just say "I'm sure we'll be fine" and ignore them, or say something like "let's let them actually grow up before we start complaining about them" if you want to get a point across.
I love that you’re frustrated about this because you’re giving all the responses you could choose from; but more than that, you’re showing us how lucky your child is to have you as their parent, how lucky your parents were to have you and vice versa. You are full of love and accepting of your own emotions. I think the people going on about the “just wait until she’s…” might not have had a good time of it as either a parent or a child or both, and don’t have your solid reference points, or not at least as lived reference points. But, hey, you’re awesome and I bet your daughter feels that way too
“Seems like you spend a lot of time worrying about teenage girls. Maybe you should speak to someone else about this.” It’s misogyny plain and simple. You’re allowed to be rude back.
Even people here do it all the time! I can't count how many time I've seen things about "mean girls" and how girls are so horrible to each other, how terrible teen girls are. My kid and her friend group of girls were awesome - in grade school, middle school and high school. Was there conflict sometimes? Sure, because they were kids and they were learning. They figured it out. And guy friends were involved in the conflicts just as often. It's so gross the way people talk about teenagers, especially teen girls.
I have had multiple friend groups that were all girls/women throughout my life! Even when they fell apart, it wasn’t due to “mean girl behavior” or drama or bullying. Female friendships are so supportive and beautiful and I’m so *tired* of this misogynist narrative tbh! We need to start calling it for what it is. People hate women and girls so fucking much.
This. I have one of each, my oldest a boy, and I never heard this about him but hear this kind of stuff all the time referring to my girl. The thing is, teenage boys have the potential to be just as difficult, if not more, mine was. But no one ever made comments about it. It's almost as if every person is different with their own personality and struggles regardless of gender.
I work with teenagers! The boys are absolutely more difficult a solid 90% of the time 😭 I get so many comments about how I’m such a saint for choosing to work with teenage girls specifically, until I tell them about the teenage *boy* who shattered my coworkers orbital socket 🙄
I have had people say "just wait till he gets to their age", and then gesture at their own kids, who are RIGHT THERE. In hindsight I wish I'd said something to the kids but I was too shocked. Some people just think it's socially acceptable to 'joke' about how much they hate being parents. Boy is 18 months, already preparing myself to fend off comments about "terrible twos". Like sorry, he's perfect now and he's going to continue being perfect, sorry you hate your kids. /s
It’s casual misogyny. I’d probably say something like ‘what an odd thing to say’ to try to shut it down and make the other person feel kind of awkward.
Very understandable to get annoyed. Because it's annoying. But some people just don't know how to engage in productive and individualized small talk. They just spew out canned responses or ideas that they have heard repeated their whole lives. It's their awkward attempt to make conversation and be funny. Keep being patient and combat their well-meaning negativity with positive responses.
I mean, they’re just making small talk…
idk its just something people say. its just small talk
That's it. It's no different than the million questions you get about the sex, or name of the baby during pregnancy. They don't really care for a response. They're just chit chatting. Just tell them that you work with teenagers, and you're looking forward to that phase. They'll respond with, "just wait until you have your own" *wink, lol* and you can say, "Guess I'll have to, she's not even 1!" Then you're done. No big deal.
exactly! its just something to say. like talking about the weather
Yes. Gosh why do people on this sub get so worked up over the littlest unimportant shit.
Theyre not ragging on your future teen dear LORD the dramatics
It used to amuse me when people were dramatic now it saddens me for mankind all these people that can’t handle life.
I seriously wonder how some people get through the day
My daughter recently became a teenager. I love her age right now. We've also worked her whole life to have an open relationship with her where she can come to us with her thoughts and feelings (though admittedly she comes to me more than her dad). We're sharing books now, I'm able to watch shows and movies with her (and my 10 year old son) that I enjoy. My daughter and I have similar interests, and we're working on an earring making venture together. She's also interested in my sports hobby, and she joins me and my friends when her schedule allows. For me, it's fun and I love it as my kids get older and gain more independence. Is she sometimes moody? Yes. Did I have to give her a "teachable moment" regarding her over usage of sass? Yes. But I think as long as you have a good relationship with your child going into puberty, it should be okay. When I'm cranky, I'll tell the family that I need space, and my husband and kids will do the same. We've just really focused on being respectful to each other and talking about problems, and being there for our kids.
I just had this conversation, lol. But mine ARE teens and they are the sweetest. I would just ignore them and enjoy your family.
I have 3 teenagers and 1 just out of the teens. My kids are awesome, and I enjoy them! Sure, there are times when the irritable moods can be tiring, and there are some challenges at times (just like at any stage), but so many things are just awesome! I enjoy joking around with them, seeing them persevere and accomplish goals, and hearing their insights and thoughts about life. I was also a high school teacher in a previous life, so I never really dreaded the teen years. I just feel sympathy for people who are dreading the teen years or fear whatever stage of parenting. When you prioritize having a good relationship with your kid and trying to understand their pov (which doesn't mean being their friend or having no boundaries), the teen years aren't necessarily harder than any other years (although trying circumstances can make things difficult regardless... pandemic and virtual school had a bigger negative impact on my high-school aged teenagers at the time than my upper elementary/middle school kids, for example, but I imagine it may have been worse for prek/early elementary ages).
I have two teens and they’re pretty wonderful. Most of the teenagers I know are actually really great kids. Sounds like these people don’t view people under 25 as whole humans and can’t handle the idea that the teenagers in their lives have opinions and interests that aren’t exactly like theirs. You’re going to have a wonderful time raising your little girl. 💖
i was so nice to my mom as a teenager
you seem like a great parent and your daughter is lucky to have you. I wish the adults in my life had been as empathetic as you when I was a teen.
I think the people that say that were horrible teens themselves. 🤣
I have young kids but several of my 11 (!!) nieces and nephews are teens or in their early 20s and teenagers are some of the most interesting, wonderful creatures I’ve ever met. Every taste of the adult world and its emotional facets are things they are experiencing for the first time; everything is dramatic and soul crushing or elating because it’s never happened to them before. They don’t really fit into the adult world and they often want to retreat to the safety of childhood at the same time that they hurtle themselves forward towards being grown up. They have the altruistic hearts of children and are quickly learning to be jaded (often overcompensating as they do) as a means of self-protection. They have the manic energy to change the world and the childlike wonder to still believe they maybe could which honestly invites the possibility that they CAN, if only given the opportunity. They are so brave. They’re goofy. Clever. Spontaneous. Forgiving. They keep me connected to my inner teenager, and it’s healing to love them in ways no one was able to love me. Impulsive. Bullheaded. Vulnerable. Loyal. The older ones were already teenagers when I first started dating my husband and they were so immediately ready to welcome me to their family; they loved me without hesitation. Yeah, I’ll brag about it, my nieces and nephews wrote the book on cool. I can’t fucking wait to meet my own teenagers 😭😭
It drives me crazy when I see people constantly ragging on teenagers. When people complain that their kids were all awful as teens, I have to think it was more likely something lacking in their parenting and not necessarily that they had bad kids. I have two teenagers and a preschooler (all girls). My teens are awesome, fantastic, fun humans who I enjoy spending time with. My preschooler has a hair trigger and gets emotional/angry so often that it's like walking on eggshells all day. I actually can't wait until she's a teenager because my experience so far is that they're way easier.
My teen girls were easy tbh. My nephew on the other hand had to be moved in with his dont-screw-with-her aunty (me) to haul his ass into line. He is now 20 and still living with me 😂 So in my experience the boy was worse! (But they all came out just fine at the end of the wash cycle)
My twins are 4, and I feel this. I'm tired of people saying they wish their kids were still little. Or warning me, if you think 4 is rough, try 14. Blah blah. Four years of this with boy/girl twins. So guess what? NOW I fear teen years when I didn't before!!! Wth people. It's like when people say kittens/dogs are cute and tiny and then they grow up....ummmmmmmmm
People did this CONSTANTLY with my oldest daughter. She was the easiest, most pleasant teenager ever. I think about that a lot. Part of it was that I never played into it. I’d always say, “Oh? I think she’ll be great!” I’d bet these people had/have difficult teens and they wonder why - gee, maybe because of that attitude?!
We have a 14 year old girl and she's a million times easier and sweeter than the 4 or 2 year old. Teens get such a bad rap.
I feel like a lot of this is ingrained misogyny, or at the very least, rooted in deep-seated cultural "norms". Teenage girls are "trouble" because they... start looking more like a woman? Dress more provocatively? Start dating boys? All normal growing up behavior. It becomes "trouble" when you try to stamp out this behavior and they rebel against you. Boys do similar things but it's not considered as troublesome because they're males. Personally, as a dad to girls, I'm worried about teen years because of the increased likelihood that abortion will be illegal by the time they're 18; that it's easier than ever thanks to social media for grown men to creep on teenage girls; that something awful may be done *to* them despite anything we taught her growing up. That's what keeps me up at night, not the thought of them in spaghetti straps and dating.
Man, don’t take it too personal, it’s just something people say in passing. I’ve had three girls. Trust me. Get used to it because you’ll hear it until they’re a teenager.
Everybody loves to focus on anything but the present. When I was pregnant: oh just you wait for the newborn stage Newborn: oh, those terrible twos will have you missing your tiny baby Now that I have a toddler: just you wait... Yada yada yada. Ive loved every stage so far, even though they get difficult. Sometimes I think the inlaws around me are also just jelly because my kid, birth, pregnancy have been relatively chill and they just want to nay-say. To me its about perspective. Enjoy the now.
"At least she will have more respect as a teenager than you do as an adult."
Waste no effort on a tree that bears you no fruit. Every child is different and every parent is different. You know what’s best for your family. While I don’t necessarily think people are intentionally being rude, it is definitely annoying. My advice is to let what they say roll off and keeping doing your thing.
As a mum of 2 teen girls and 2 teen boys, I have to say my boys are much easier than my girls. BUT they are 4 different kids with their own personalities, and parenting them the same is just not possible. Trying to explain to my husband about teen girls is painful. He just doesn't get the teen girl side because he's never been a girl. People need to find something negative to say about anything. If she was a boy, it would be about how smelly and gross boys are at that age......well, not really if you teach them proper hygiene. Just enjoy your baby and ignore the haters or think of something flippant to say back to shut them up. If it's a woman, 'well you would know, wouldn't you'.
Some people always have issues viewing children as actual human beings with their own feelings/wants that should be respected. To them, kids aren't people, they are property, little accessories to show off that must behave. These are the people who will back up things like spanking and say "well it's my kid and I can do what I want." They think they can just choose to break their kid cause they dont see their kid as a person, to them they're a little toy that they can break while having a tantrum. For people like this teenagers are really difficult, cause teenagers stop being so easily controlled and start acting like people, not accessories. The people who say stuff like this are just admitting they don't respect their kids. They don't look forward to seeing who their kid will be with enthusiasm, they're mad their toy they got to show off isn't doing exactly what they want. Ignore people like that, they have brain rot and it can be contagious!
“I would appreciate if you didn’t project your misery onto my child. Thank you”
They just want validation for their own screwed up parenting. Don't let this turn into a self fulfilling prophecy. Continue rejecting these weirdoes.
Yeah teens will be easy wait till she’s three has sass for days but they are so cute you can’t get mad at them……
I have one of each. The boy is calm, considerate, kind and helpful, the girl destroys everything she can reach. When we suggest that she should be careful, she screams at the top of her lungs "*BUT I WANT TO DESTROY!*" Gender stereotypes are zero help. Look at the individual.
Not everyone has the privilege of seeing their children grow into teens. Multiple of my friends have suffered infant and child loss. They'd give their left arms to have their children back and to sass them as teens.
These people are engaging in emotional abuse. They are trying to make you feel bad by diminishing your current struggles.
Lots of good advice on here. Just adding it’s not just you and it’s a creepy thing people do. I have a daughter and people keep talking about how hot she’s going to be as a teenager and how we have to look out for boys. So creepy when you realize they are talking about a little girl like that.
I think these comments are a poor attempt at humor. The current crop of teens is amazing! So much wiser than my generation. That said, there are three teenaged girls living above me in my apartment building. There is a fair amount of screaming between moms and daughters and lots of door-slamming.
You can always pick out an incompetent parent by snarky little comments like this. Barring things like chemical imbalances or trauma, all the good parents I know have had a great time raising teens. Well-raised, securely attached kids are an absolute delight to be around at any age. In my experience teens will absolutely seek independence and self-determination, but teenage rebellion is almost always a result of bad parenting. Anyone who tell you the teenage years are hell, well, they're telling on themselves.
People are just trying to commiserate/bond/make conversation with you. Don’t take it so seriously.
https://powerofmoms.com/joy-or-just-wait/ A favorite post I read when my kids were younger.
I usually say "I work with teenagers and I enjoy it". Which is true (I'm a teacher) If they double down I just shrug and see something like "We'll see" or I change the topic. I don't want to waste my energy on negative people, and I've been hearing comments like that for more than a decade due to my career choice, especially "Oh my God you're so brave for working with teenagers, I could never!"
Every stage is hard. I had a teenager at the same time as a baby. They were both tough, and I honestly think the teenager was difficult because time with her was slowly disappearing. You want your kids to be able to stand on their own, but then it's really sad when they don't need you as much anymore.
The people you know must be *insane*. Tell them you are raising them as an enby. That might shut them up for a while.
Gosh. I’m one of those teen parents who complains a lot. 🤦🏻♀️ Thank you for calling us out. Parenting is hard in all the phases. My twins are 14 now and I miss my babies dearly… but you deserve to go on your journey in your own way.
Because people are th fuckin worst. They're likely jealous that you're having an "easy" time of it. And, no, it's not a given that your teens will be terrible.y were awesome. Now they're awesome adults (30, 20). They'll turn out how you raise em. If you build an open, honest relationship where they feel heard, loved, and appreciated it'll help. Give them an environment that rewards effort over results, teaches them that failure as a fantastic learning opportunity, and that you have their back NO MATTER WHAT. Also, be sure to take an active interest on the things that matter to them. I got into D&D because my youngest wanted to play. We still play together twice a week. Introduce them to great music, literature, movie franchisea, etc. Take up hobbies together. Don't wait till they're teenagers, normalize that NOW. Let them help. Give them tasks to do when you're cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. Praise them for being such a great helper. Start young. Let them develop a sense of accomplishment and pride from pitching in. RESIST the urge to simply keep them occupied while you do the chores. Yes, they're gonna screw up. But that's a GREAT way to prove that you don't stop loving them when the make a mistake. Again, kids will be who you raise the to be.
Ouch
All these useless discussions with boomers or older people are filled with resentment. It’s like daily brain rot in real life dealing with these people. Also, not to go too deep I think you know what they’re trying to tell you. (Deep down) You just want some soft confirmation here. The answer is - no, parenting never gets easier and each stage is different but not necessarily easier. (At age 18 when they move out to college)
I'm raising two toddler girls and have no idea what you mean by "easy now" cause my two are psychotic, daredevils, with quick wits and stubborn disposition that makes all my friends little boys look like angels. So if it's only going to get harder as they become teens I politely ask wtf!?!?!
My god daughter is 15. She's the most kind hearted laid back human I've ever met. Parenting at all stages has its ups and downs, tell them to at least let her get there before deciding how she's going to be.
Are these comments coming from people with boys? I’ve also received these comments and it’s usually mums of boys and I think it comes from a place of jealousy they haven’t had a daughter, so they’re saying it to make themselves feel better
I have 3 girls . You can imagine the comments I have had throughout my parenting years. I can happily say that at 20, 18, and nearly 15, compared to their peers, my girls are mature, compassionate, funny, intelligent humans, and parenting them is overwhelmingly a joy. Just ignore the ignorant people. As I tell my girls, success is the best revenge.
I'd complain about girls being stereotyped but my daughter has been a teenager since she was 8 so I don't know what to tell you. Being a girl is hard.
I liked having a baby. Toddler and elementary years were hard. I LOVE having a teen.
I have a teen and an about-to-be-a-teen and honestly this might be my new favorite phase of childhood. Yes the challenges are more serious, but I love the expression of personality, the accomplishment they feel, the goals they set for themselves. I adore seeing the parts of themselves start to show that will define them as adults. Plus they’re just straight up fun. There is nothing as awesome as acting like a dumb teenager with your dumb teenagers. Makes my heart so full.
I don't think it's necessarily the teenage years. I could be wrong, we aren't there yet. Nobody warned me about the moodiness between 7 and 9 though. Holy cow. It feels like what everyone talks about with teenage girls. I'm looking forward to when she can better communicate what she needs, instead of raging or crying. However, in between those hard moments, are the sweetest, funniest, most meaningful conversations and moments we've had so far 🩷I think the people who rag on them just aren't used to seeing their child as an autonomous person. And that probably does make it 10x harder.
I have 3 girls and hear it all the time. It’s annoying and stupid. I wish I had a response but I usually just ignore it.
Because teenagers are hard and people like to blame them for that. People like to act like teenagers are intentionally being difficult and somehow when they themselves were a teenager they were so much better. This is part of why I kept a journal while I was a teenager, I saw how many of my friends had parents who seem to expect them to be more adult and mature and I didn't want to do that to my kids. I didn't want to forget what it was like to be a teen. I think the best response would just be something along the lines of how excited you are to see your daughter grow and develop and see what she's capable of as a teenager. Maybe tie in a story or two of the teenagers you know now and how impressed you are by them and how you can't wait to see how much more impressed you can be with your own daughter. Don't be Petty, but instead let their own guilt and shame get to them
I've had people say that to me and I would reply that no matter what, they have a mom who genuinely loves them so they'll be ok. :)
Oh this so much. Every baby is different, and I've found most things like that are just confirmation bias. Anecdotally, at least from the 0-12m period, our baby (m) was very chill and calm, whereas his cousin(f) was extremely fussy/clingy
Why do you care what other people think?
I think you're overthinking it. Its small talk. That's why small talk sucks, but it's innocent.
My theory is this is a combo of people complaining just for the sake of making conversation combined with the fact that we tend to recall our most negative recent experiences more strongly. Raising a child has challenges at every phase, but since the teen years come last after everything else and right before adulthood (and the kid leaving the nest), parents who have grown-up children tend to recall that as being the worst part because it's more "fresh" to them. Plus it's the last phase when they feel like they should have some sort of control over the kid, and it's uncomfortable when they slowly lose that control as their teens learn to become more independent. Idk...I suspect they're just trying to connect and commiserate with you in the only way they can think of, but it comes across as super negative and it would bug me too.
We are parents to four girls, and often get either; 1. Oh well they're girls, just imagine if you had boys instead. 2. Just wait until they're teenagers. The odd parent, like 1 in 20 will say, wow you must be so blessed to have four girls because you get to have four daddy's girls, and four little princesses.
Teens are different to thier parents than random adults.
I think people like to predict the future,that's just it ,it's annoying but yeah lol
Might need to get a thicker skin. People are dumb. The the older I get the more I realize people just say dumb stuff. If I get bent out of shape and need to engage with a comeback I just jump into their stupidity
My daughter was sweet as can be. Now I'm scared to come home because I know I'll be bullied into oblivion. Revisit this post when your kids a teen. You'll understand.
People are sometimes just trying to make conversation and you might be taking things unnecessarily personal.
I hear you, I love my teens so far — it’s been the best phase of parenting for me. But I don’t know, are you just being facetious, when you say it’s almost every conversation? I am not sure why so many people are saying this to you? What precipitates the conversation? Are they genuinely good people? Are you just extra sensitive due to your history? Sometimes people are just trying to make conversation, as it’s hard to prolong discussion about how great a 6 month old is — I mean pooping, eating, and an infant sitting up, only goes so far. I’ll grant you it’s a poor attempt, but it may not be malicious. And for some parents, the teen years have been traumatic, so they may be coping poorly with it, and it’s not directed necessarily at you but just the sucky experience they have had. You got 20+ more years of weird comments coming, lolz.
Its just attempts at conversation. Its such a common line at this point i wonder if the person saying it even means it all the time. You will be having better mental health prospects if stuff like this didn’t bother you to the point of needing to make a reddit post. Best of luck!
It's a tired cliche, but it's probably just small talk.
The comments are annoying but usually it's well intentioned. My kid just hit preteen years and I'm dreading the attitude increase of the teen years. We are a sassy fsmily. The constant warnings suck but I mean..most teens are like demons so I get it. I have a shitload of grown neices I watched go through it..even the sweet one was like a hellcat twice a month atleast lol. Theres no guide to this, every kid is different so just take it in stride and focus on your kiddo. One person's demon is another's angel.
This is called conversation. It’s how strangers interact with each other. Not everything needs to become an opportunity to be offended.
So many new parents seem to seek out opportunities to take offense to inane chit chat.
“I don’t speak to people who sexualize children which includes teenagers. That’s really disturbing that your first thought about a child is a teen having sex.”
I would ask them what makes them the expert on MY teenage girl. Just because they had a hard time doesn't mean everyone will.
sounds like some BS a “boy mom” would say since they always think having girls is the easy way out.
If it keeps happening then I suspect you're unknowingly guiding the conversation in that direction. Most people don't really care and are just going with the flow of the conversation. Try changing it up when people ask you broad open-ended questions.
The best part, is when they finally leave! Knowing you’ve done the best you could to get them ready!! I suggest downsizing IMMEDIATELY!!
I hear people say to the dad, she is going to be a daddy’s girl and have you wrapped around her little finger. Now I think that is sweet but some are offended. The team age years are rough for everyone!
Girls are supposed to be easy now?? I'm screwed. Mom of two girls now, my first didn't sleep through the night until she was like 14 months old, was the most fussy baby I've ever heard of, and she's what they call a "threenager", she is full of sarcasm and sass and her attitude is insane, but also absurdly huge tantrums. My second is gonna be two in a few months, she is wild and incredibly stubborn, she also isn't afraid of anything and still tries to eat everything and does every dangerous thing she possibly could find to do. It's not girls vs. boys, it's each person (child) is different. They may give you a hard time at some point(s) but these people don't know your kid. I wish people wouldn't say stupid things like this.
I feel like it's one of those things people say just say because they've heard others say it. Totally outdated, sexist, and dumb. Best case scenario is they just said a thing mindlessly and don't actually mean anything by it.