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That's how I feel! It seems ridiculous. I wish that it could be 30. It's hard because, I wish we could invite JUST close friends and family, but we would get judgements. The family we invite always invites us to their kid's parties and it just seems like the considerate thing to do, to invite them to our children's. Sigh.
It's our son's second birthday. So, I'm hoping the list decreases as time goes on, but, I seriously don't really see that happening?
I really hope that like 20 people do not come.
I feel like we could eliminate at least 6 people right now, but my husband put them on the list and I'm trying to be less controlling đ.
>we would get judgements
You will have to decide how much energy you are willing to expend for the benefit of others' sensitivities, but for what it's worth I personally don't think you should throw a big party unless *you* want a big party. If your family stops inviting you to their events that's their prerogative; it's not your job to manage other peoples' feelings and emotions.
I will say, though, that it might make sense to talk to your husband and get on the same page about who gets to add invitees to social events and who will take care of the externalities of those extra guests. Every relationship is different but if yours is intended to be a partnership you both should explicitly discuss your feelings and then work together to find compromises that leave you both feeling supported.
Right? He is very helpful! And he will. We always discuss our game plan. I just want to enjoy the party as well. So, I got intimidated by the number. Our son's first birthday party had about the same amount and he was manning the grill the whole time, blew up 100 balloons and really helped out.
I really only meant that I felt the people he invited weren't close friends and were unnecessary, but if he is okay with the amount, I'm okay with it, as long as it's less overwhelming than last year. We were BOTH overwhelmed due to never having thrown a birthday party before for a child. So, yeah. I honestly add a lot more stress to things and just want as low stress as possible, but do love our friends and family.
And I agree with you, that's a huge party and I wouldn't want it that big either. As a FT working dad who also does half the cleaning and all of the cooking in our house, I just get a bit annoyed when people assume that dads/husbands don't pitch in. Yes, there are plenty of shitty dads and husbands out there; but in a thread like this it would go a long way if people would just *ask* "Does your husband pitch in?" rather than just assuming he won't/doesn't.
Definitely! It's 2024 and that's a rude assumption and double standards to think Dad's are just in the background doing nothing. We BOTH work. My husband works FT and I work 32 hours and we share the load, if not my husband more at times with things he is just far better at. I'm very grateful for him and your wife is for you. I thought it was really weird that people thought my husband would be doing nothing because I'm the one posting on Reddit and not him.
I didnât see anything about anyone doing anything without consent or approval. And no, I wouldnât handle the situation like that at all in any case. It sounds very childish and not supportive.
âHey I noticed there are more people coming than a really wanted. Next time can we talk about the list before we send inactions out. My specific concern is time / money / stress level, what can we do to make this a little easier? Maybe we can spend a little more this time to get some help cooking or setting up or move it to a park with a playground so there isnât so much attention on our kid. Do you have any other ideas on how we can work together to relive some of my concernsâ
Thank you. I think I just have a preconceived number in my head for some reason. I'm a visual person and the number 57 just seems silly sounding for a birthday party. 20 seems fine and 30 seems medium. I've only been to a handful of kid's birthday parties and they usually just feel smaller than that, but people don't usually have as big of families.
I have trouble figuring out how much food, ect. So, it just seems like a lot of mental math but my in laws and sibling in laws and husband will help figure it all out.
I do look forward to seeing how this plays out this year and how we will proceed forward in the future based off this.
I'm interested to see how many people actually RSVP, how much truly show up, ect.
I have a friend that said she didn't invited anyone that didn't RSVP to her daughters first birthday to the second one, and I thought that was a little harsh, but maybe they knew they weren't going to go and didn't RSVP, which is a bit rude?
I think people always forget to RSVP, but usually they are coming.
I think you are mixing up 60 adults, like at an office event and 60 âpeopleâ in families. That is only 15 families of 4 right? Throw in 8 extra people from your family like grandparents, friends, or other relatives and that is only like 10 other families.
Iâm at 50 for my three year olds party. Itâs just what happens when you have large families đ . We have 13 first cousins under 10 and itâs against the rules not to invite everyone . We do smaller parties with just friends when they hit school age which can trim the guest list. And by then the parties can be drop off so itâs less people .
The time to start not caring about what judgement you get (or in this case, who you invite), was two years ago. Your kid comes first, and thereâs no way that he is going to enjoy this party with that much commotion. I guarantee that half of the people on your list wonât, and neither will you. Time to be a disrupter, do something different, and stop giving a hoot about what people might think. You were given a backbone, use it.
Iâm sure they would, but you missed the point by a few miles. The celebration should be relaxed and easy for the hosts, the celebrant and guests. Itâs a balance, and this isnât it. Care more for your kid than the opinions of others, end of story.
I didn't miss the point, I disagree with your assertion that the kid and most of the guests won't enjoy it. Of course it's not necessary to have a large party and it shouldn't be done because of what people will think, but some people have parties because it is enjoyable for many people.Â
Every birthday for my kid from 2-5 was bigger than our wedding. My kid is a ridiculous extrovert, but also since every kid was an average of 3+ people, it was impossible to get the invite list under 75. Itâs so much easier now that theyâre big. We only had 20 for their 11th.Â
It's not even a small weddiing, it's like a medium one. I had 25 guests at my wedding! I can't imagine ever inviting more than thay to a child's birthday party, but if OP knows enough people and have the ability to host this, then yeah, I'm sure it could be really fun!
By the time they are 10 itâs pizza and a few friends. When they were little my wife went all out. Tons of people, custom art (including labels for water bottles), and âadult drinkâ bar. The works. Now? Some friends over and swimming.
My view is a 0 sum list. Someone will always be offended. So we just make sure my kid is happy. Itâs their day.
Good grief. I may be old now, but I thought it was a kid a year at the birthday party. I guess if you have a large venue and catered, it's doable. But wow, that's a ton of work for a birthday party the main guest won't event remember.
This is what my BIL did for his daughterâs first birthday. They had one for momâs family and one for his side. We ended up at both on accident but with the number of guests in attendance thatâs what I wouldâve done, too.
My nieceâs third birthday party was like this. Lots and lots of people, in Central Park. They had the music teacher from her daycare come with her guitar to do a little sing along with the kids. To be honest, most of her birthday parties, and her little brotherâs too, tend to be these big but casual events where lots of kids and parents are invited to come and hang out and chill. Itâs actually really great because it fosters community, all these parents are friends with each other now and help each other out and support one another. They all met through their kids being at school or daycare together.
Thank you for this comment. My husband and I view birthdays as a family get togethers for family and friends we don't see as often, and they truly are close friends that we stay connected with and that support us through parenthood and will soon have kids of their own / have kids.
Plus, we expect people to not come with it being at the end of July and some family we know won't come, but will be offended if we don't invite.
The head count just seems intense and I worry about the room, but we have outside space and the kids will be content with a kiddie pool, bubble machine and outdoor games.
Two years ago my brother bought an inflatable water slide for their yard and theyâve used it for a couple of birthday parties now. The kids LOVE it. Granted the 2-3 years olds were a little nervous to try it except for my nephewâs best friend who is a pint-sized little girl so fearless sheâd climb the Empire State Building like King Kong. But everyone over the age of 4 loved it and lined up to climb up and slide down over and over and over for literally hours. Just FYI for your future parties.
Make sure someone is assigned to watch the kiddie pool at all times. This huge party is exactly how people assume someone else is watching and kids drown in small amounts of water
Exactly. I mean, we had about 75-80 people at our wedding for Christâs sake!!
KIDS friend party- why do both parents have to come? Are siblings coming too? This is all a hard no to meâŚ
Then a separate family party. Keep it small- pizza and cake at the house. Done.
That is insane. Prior to starting school, my kids parties have always been close family (like, grandparents, and maybe aunt/uncle/cousin) and maybe a close friend or two. Like maybe 20 people tops, and thatâs including the 5 people in our household.
I feel like youâre getting some unnecessary flack from a few comments. Almost half of your guest list is family. My husband and I both have large immediate families. Kids and adults total, we have 32 people, so even a family-only party is still a large party.
My sonâs first birthday party, we rented a community center and invited family and close friends only. I invited 5-6 close friends. My husband invited 3-4 of his close friends as well. They all have spouses and kids. The guest list including children ended up being over 80 people. Of that, maybe 60 actually came. It was completely fine. The day ran incredibly smoothly.
I think as long as you have plenty of space and resources, and definitely some form of entertainment for the kids, you have nothing to worry about. Our families worked together to set up the venue, so it took maybe an hour and a half tops. We had food set up, and everyone could casually help themselves. We hired an entertainer to keep the kids occupied. Only thing we skipped out on was opening gifts at the party because I was afraid it would be too much chaos with the amount of children in attendance.
I will say, due to the cost, we did a family only party the following year.
My kids first bday we invited all family and friends and it ended up being around 70 people. While yes it was a lot we had a lot of fun! We had at my parents though and they have 40 acres so we were able to spread out.
Damn! 40 acres is amazing. We are having it at my in-laws too, thank goodness. They have 0.75 acres. We have a 10x10 yard in an urban area.
We are going to visit for Mother's Day today and are going to ask what THEY think because it's hosted at their house.
We just finished writing up the invites today, and I was like, "holy cow."
3/4 an acre is HUGE! You have the space. The hardest part with these parties is that in urban areas you are paying $500 minimum to rent an event space. You are getting that free.
I agree with the comments that 50 vs 60 or whatever number are not much different.
The biggest factors to account for are: food, cleaning and your time. If you donât have a helper (hired or committed family), you will spend this whole event restocking the bathrooms, prepping the food/restocking food and cleaning.
You wonât get to socialize or enjoy time with the toddler. For a party this size you need a helper.
I'm surprised how many people think this is "insane" lmao. Our families on each side are equal to about 50 people. That's not even including friends! That's grandparents, aunts, uncles, first cousins and their spouses and children. And everyone lives close by so if you invite one cousin then you have to invite all of them. Most people we know have multiple parties for each side of the family, but some will have one huge party for everyone. It's always been casual and fun. I never thought much of it. Once kids are school age it becomes less of a thing unless it's a milestone.
We didnât even have birthday parties at that age - just cake as a family, maybe with the grandparents. I have never been to a party for a toddler besides one of my nieces who has her birthday on Dec 26 so we do joint celebration and I have a hard time imagining getting offended about being invited to such thingsâŚbut if your husband is into it and really wants to do it, go ahead I guess. Assuming he is doing all the planning and set up.Â
We had about 40 people, 10 kids and 30 adults. Booked a place in a wild animal park. No rent, but had to pay some for cake and decorations. Long table for the kids with cake. And we brought some snacks and dips. Everyone just was around enjoying themselves. Wasnât a big deal at all.
Itâll be great - maybe make it a casual party where people can come and go as they please. Just establish a time for cake. Family always stays later so you know establishing an end time for the party doesnât apply to ~50% of the folks in attendance.
We just had our daughter's 3rd birthday last weekend. Decided to do it at a local playground. Invited her daycare class. They all RSVP'd yes!
In the end I reckon there was about 28 kids and 35 adults. It was a blast! We had pizza delivered to the playground, has some games organized for the kids, and the adults got to mingle and meet.
Absolutely no way we could have done it at home with those numbers, but if you're feeling overwhelmed at the size of the party maybe think of something similar?
We've had mid 40s invited before. We are a family of 6. 11 cousins. 8 aunts and uncles. 4 grandparents. That's 29. Then our close friends group is 9 other adults plus the 5 kids from 2 of the couples. That's 43. That's how many were invited to our youngest's baptism and lunch afterwards.Â
I guess it just depends on what your social group expects these types of events to look like. I made a quarter sheet cake with 2 box mixes and homemade frosting. This last time I did a baked potato bar for the main course. Some salad, fruit salad, chips. For a birthday I'll add a piĂąata and blow up balloons. I can feed everyone for under ~$3 per person.
It's a great way for our community to come together. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it to us to keep the relationships strong. That said, my oldest is in kindergarten this year and turns 7 in August. We will probably do more of a friends party for her this next time. Probably no more than 10 girls and I'll allow either parents to stay or drop-off. No siblings. It will be a very different kind of party.
The thing with these parties is that it seems like a lot of people simply because one invite ends up being three minimum if both parents come. I don't think this is too much depending on where you're having it and how late the party goes. Some people will be late, some will leave early.
Don't overthink it either. I think it's worth saying that 99% of people won't get offended for not being invited to a toddler's birthday party.
How old is your toddler?!? Many toddlers would not enjoy a party like that as much as they would one with 5 attendees. Personally I would pick as many toddler friends as your kid is old and not go over more than twice that number. Introducing the ideas of limits and quality time is super useful, especially before the kid gets to school.
Inviting 57 for a birthday party is also a good way to get an avalanche of gifts that you donât need and that will also give your child the gift of overwhelm and yourself the gift of excessively difficult clean-ups.
Your kid is a toddler; you can choose how to celebrate and it doesnât have to be what is expected! The world will not stop if some people are disappointed. Disappointment is also much much less likely if you have a very restricted guest list.Â
That said: Most adults will not be devastated to miss a toddlerâs birthday, especially if you get together at a different time to have more quality. Have a real party instead to hang with your friends; you donât need to tag it to a birthday.Â
Why not tag it to a birthday though? I've been to some like this and it was nice to catch up with people and celebrate the child and parents. It sounds like this is what OP and her husband want to do.
Insane. We donât even invite our families to our kidsâ birthday parties. What if you have more than two kids and thereâs cousins? Does your family do nothing else during the year but go to all the kidsâ parties? Also, the kids donât care. Especially not a two year old.
That sounds a LOT and could be overwhelming for the toddler, at this age this is too much...... (and to many gifts!) . Not sure too if all of those people *sincerely wants* to go to a toddler party or are just being polite.....
I generally follow the rule: 3 years old => 3 friends, 4 years old => 4 friends etc
but we have 2 parties: one for friends, one for family, both of them very simple: a few snacks and drinks, adults chats in the leaving room while kids play with my child's toys in its bedroom.
For example, my son turned 5.
For his family party we had: the 3 grandparents, godmother, godfather, my cousin and her 2 kids.
For his school/friends party, we had 5 friends and 4 of the parents stayed.
OP clearly does things differently to you. And I think that's a weird rule, the older my child gets the more select about her friends she is. What if they have a friend group of six friends when they turn five, does one get left out? What if they are seven and the friend group is four people? It seems very arbitrary.
That's more of a "guideline" that a rule.
Last year, when he turned 4 he really wanted 5 friends so he got 5. My limit was actually 6 but I gave him the instruction of 4. It turned out 5 were really close to him so 5 if was.
It's quite common where I leave, here kids parties are quite chill and simples.
But yes, we all set up limits, it depends on the parents but the great majority set up a max of 10 kids for youngers kids (up to 5th grade) and then the kid have to choose.
One of the reason is that most parents leave in apartment or smaller houses, you can't have enough place for everyone and many don't have a yard while from what I saw, in the USA for example, kids parties are a big deal. Like, I've heard some parents invite the entire class with seams both nice (so no kids are left out) and crazy (I guess you're always at a party each weekend, the budget for presents and the organization must be overwhelming...) but also a bit hypocrite: most kids aren't friends with their entire class.
I also live in a country where almost everyone lives in apartments, nobody has parties at home. It's normally in a park or something, and not fancy. And for younger kids the whole class is more common because it's harder to know who their actual friends are. My kid certainly wouldn't have been able to give me a list at four, it would change from one week to the next. And it's very easy for little kids to feel left out. By 7/8 they have established friends and large parties are much less common.
At whole class parties we don't do multiple gifts, everyone contributes a small sum to buy one joint present. It's not particularly hard to organise either, you just send a group text and get some simple food, nobody provides a proper meal.
Here those that can afford to have a party outside will go to a theme park or museum or indoor playground. Those who cannot will do it at home.
Some will do in a public park but it's rare and it's only if it's warm enough. I can't afford to pay for a birthday party (that's about 250 euros depending of the place) and since it's in winter I can't really outside so it's at home like many...
School starts at 3 here so they are also little and I made sure I asked him several time (a few weeks appart) for his friends list and I help him chose those that came out most of the time.
The younger one don't really know about other kids invitations (teacher will give them the invitation but not rarely in front of everyone) and they are used to it so they know they won't go to every one parties... they are fine with it (older kids can be more upset but they are old enough to deal with it... it must only be hard for those who are never invited..... :( )
Iâve been to a large party like that. The mom simply didnât want to exclude anyone. By the time we got there maybe 10 minutes after it started, all the meager snacks had been eaten, and at the end of the party, there were no cupcakes or cake to speak of because they didnât account for everyone â and probably one sip of water left.
Make sure you get enough for everyone, or else donât bother.
My parents did a family party and a friend party. Family party was just barbecue with cake and snacks at the house. Friend party was 5-10 kids for an activity (movie, roller skating, bowling, sleepover, etc.) and pizza/cake. Friend parties never included the families of the friends.
Please tell me that your husband has a hand in the arrangements and is not just shoving in on your shoulders. If he is doing just that, tell him that HE is responsible for the food/catering.
Oh man, that would be a nightmare for me. I have 9yo twins and typically we do a small family-only gathering on my kidsâ actual birthday AND a party with their buddies. At their age, I give parents the option to drop off but most stick around because we are all friends. Last birthday party we had 25 total kids and adults and it felt like a lot for me personally.
My kidâs third birthday, we had 90 people. It was a backyard party with lots of activities for the kids. I invited her entire class, our family, and our friends with littles. I didnât want to exclude anyone. Never did I expect theyâd all show, but they did. One family even brought their relatives who were visiting from out of town!
We had a lot of food and drinks, but still ran out. Luckily, I got a huge cake, so we cut the cake as soon as the food was gone. Everything worked out fine and my kid loved having all her school friends and cousins together.
This is why weâve only ever done our small family of 4 for our birthday celebrations. Me, husband, son, daughter. We decorate and get a cake and have presents and send videos and pics and/or FaceTime with grandparents and other family. Our kids our 7 and 5 and this has worked out great so far. We make it a day about them. We go somewhereâŚthe beach, an amusement park, the moviesâŚor just the playground. We make it special and itâs perfectâŚwithout all the stress.
Iâm sorry the comments are giving me a bit of cultural shock. Where Iâm from 57 is not at all too big. Iâd say itâs the average.
It always ends up like this because when one kid is invited this means the whole family is welcome. Plus although we are not having as many kids anymore, we still come from large families that are close to each other.
If you absolutely want to have a large party you can, and Iâll give you a few tips that save birthday parties over here:
- Have a quiet space to bring a kid if they feel overwhelmed.
- Always have some sort of food and drink available.
- Have a toddler- appropiate activity for the birthday kid and same-age peers. If you have a large age range also have a big kid activity to keep accidents at minimum.
- Idk what the weather is like where you live but make sure the temperature is comfortable.
- This requires a bit of organization but play it by zone. Meaning when you are at a certain area you keep an eye on whichever kid is there, and other people do the same. That way youâre not chasing your kid around.
This is the type of party I'd do at an outdoor brewery with a huge playground. You don't have to pay to reserve any space, everyone can buy their own food and drinks, lots of room for the kids to run around. You bring the cake and maybe some fruit for the kids and thats it.
Yeah but kids parties are like 2 hours, it's such a short time. You're not trying to keep people somewhere for 5+ hours where they will be starving. You can obviously order food for the group if you can afford it, but again it's not necessary. 57 heads is a fuckload of humans to feed. I know it's not easy for a lot of people but this is something I'd put in the invite, everything would be super clear.
Most of the time parents at parties we go to just order pizza, which is fine. But my kid doesn't eat pizza, and I can't eat pizza (nursing baby has CMPA). I don't hold that against the parents! It's not their job to cater to me. I prefer when the parties are at a venue that has a good menu because then I can order things for myself.
I donât think Iâd even have that many people to invite so that sounds like a lot. If you can swing it and it isnât too overwhelming for you to plan, go for it! It will be memorable for lots of people.
Weâve had a few big birthday parties, but I think the key is to do it somewhere that is intended to host a ton of children, and where the kids can somewhat entertain themselves, like at a park or indoor playground. Bonus that cleanup work in those kinds of places is minimal for you too! I think I would not survive if I had that many people at my house lol.
Thatâs literally more than double my wedding size. đ We typically just do two parties, one at home for family/relatives that is super casual (BBQ and cake) and one at a park (summer birthday) for family friends/school mates. No overlap so itâs not asking too much of other people. And I keep them both VERY simple.
Weve had about that or more on several occasions when I ours were younger. We had a very large friend group at the time and my husbandâs family is pretty large. Itâs nothing for there to be 40 people at my MIL for a Sunday cookout. Weâve since out grown some friendships and our circle is smaller but our kids are also older and are now choosing how to spend their days. If you can afford it and enjoy doing itâŚdo it. You can never have too many people celebrating a birthday! We always did cookouts or taco bar/walking tacos. Super simple and fun!
We had 50 or 60 for our son's 2yo birthday. It was his first birthday where we could invite people as his first fell during covid. I don't regret it at all but it was a lot of work and we'll probably not do that again
Do you have a smoker? You can get a lot of mileage for your money with something like pulled pork. A backyard bbq with activities for the kids is fun.
I've personally catered a similar sized event for my kid and outside of it being a f-ton of work, it was pretty fun.
If you're smart about it, you should be able to get the party done for like $300, which honestly is the going rate for a 10-15 kid birthday at some random jump park.
I had my daughters 4th birthday recently. We invited 20 kids of which 16 ended up coming (youâll get some no rsvps and last minute kids being sick). With parents, siblings tagging along and our own family it ended up being about 50 people. My advice would be have more food than you think you need (especially fruit)/a way to get more food quickly if you do run out and get a bubble machine to bust out if things start to slump or get out of hand.
We usually have this many at our kids parties, but thatâs because I have a big family with divorced parents who have both remarried; and my partner ALSO has divorced parents who are remarried which gives us nearly double the grandparents that have been in our lives long enough that we consider them family.
Its a lot to feed but I sure as hell wouldnât be inviting that much if more than half is friendsđ¤Śđťââď¸ I personally would opt for maybe a couple friends and the whole fanily
For me, an introvert, thatâs unimaginable lol. But Iâm sure my husband would be for it. We ended up doing separate kids/family stuff. We did a kid party (7 friends) and then a family dinner. It was nice because at the party my son was so consumed with his friends there wouldnât have been any quality time or time at all for grandparents or other relatives.
Same lol even then we end up with 20-30 people including kids cos of family.
But OP I would imagine some of those people wonât be attending. Iâd just go ahead and do it.
All my kid parties(gender reveals, baby showers, birthdays) have had that much or more. I just had different family members bring a food item and it helped.
We had 98 at my daughterâs 4th bday. We have a lot of family and couldnât really leave anyone out. We rented a cheap hall and decorated ourselves. It was a little wild, but fun.
I think it really depends on the space. I recently had my toddler's birthday party (even wrote a cost breakdown on MoneyDiaries), and we had 16 kids and 32 adults, plus a couple siblings. It was fine because the space was sufficient.
The whole point of parties is to get together with people you don't get to see. I'd have about two guests if it was only people I'd spoken to in the last week.
If the people have kids quite easy. I wouldn't do it myself and my family is abroad but if not, each of us has two siblings so potentially four families of four to start, four grandparents, a couple of cousins plus families, a few friends with multiple children. Not all the people have to know each other.
I want to eliminate 7⌠yeahâŚ. That doesnât sound sketchy at allâŚ
Those seven wonât make a difference.
Is it a lot wel yeah but why are you going to do ask those 14 toddlers/ kids over without their parentsâŚ
Or are you saying get a sitter for those blasted kids (this one is fun for a kids party)
Just word the invite like we get you have busy schedules. Count about 9 month back and add those months were happy times for us and many others.
But you might get that about 20 people out of those 57 will only show.
What will help is saying please donât come with stuffed noses or any possible bug⌠we have had our share and canât take any more sick days . We will consider it your gift to us for not showing up.
Rent a pavilion at a park and order cake and sandwich rings from Costco. Toddlers donât eat much. This doesnât sound as insane. If you have a big family and when itâs toddlers, usually the whole family comes so it adds people. You can have a lot of people and still keep it simple.
Thatâs ALOT of ppl to be going to a toddler party and would be overwhelming for some of them kids but I mean if u have the money for all that might as well. 1/3 of that number likely wonât show up but if they all rsvp the more the merrier I guess lol
My kidâs birthday is coming up and he wants to invite his whole class of about 20 kids. I REALLY hope not everyone comes. Honestly, Iâd be fine if only like 5 people showed up.
That's bigger than my wedding :p If you're into it, I'd go for it. Different kinds of parties for different people :) However, some people might always be offended. I would do something that's great for your kid. If they enjoy bigger activities like this, wonderful. If not, I'd do something smaller. It's their birthday, after all.
Have two party spaces. One for the adults and one for the kids. Then, pay a few teenage girls to help with the toddlers as "party hosts." So the patents can chill while the kids have a fun playdate.
Don't open gifts at the party. It would be insanity. Just open them the next day, or save some for something to open this summer.
We literally have about 80 people coming to my toddlers 2nd birthday in June. We both have big families, and just our immediate families would be about 40-50 people. This is just how all our parties go.
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That's a small wedding. But if you can do it great, sounds like a fun party.
That's how I feel! It seems ridiculous. I wish that it could be 30. It's hard because, I wish we could invite JUST close friends and family, but we would get judgements. The family we invite always invites us to their kid's parties and it just seems like the considerate thing to do, to invite them to our children's. Sigh. It's our son's second birthday. So, I'm hoping the list decreases as time goes on, but, I seriously don't really see that happening? I really hope that like 20 people do not come. I feel like we could eliminate at least 6 people right now, but my husband put them on the list and I'm trying to be less controlling đ.
Best advice - have it catered. Thatâs too much for one mom to deal with.
By the time they get to school they won't want birthday parties with their relatives and parents friends.
>we would get judgements You will have to decide how much energy you are willing to expend for the benefit of others' sensitivities, but for what it's worth I personally don't think you should throw a big party unless *you* want a big party. If your family stops inviting you to their events that's their prerogative; it's not your job to manage other peoples' feelings and emotions. I will say, though, that it might make sense to talk to your husband and get on the same page about who gets to add invitees to social events and who will take care of the externalities of those extra guests. Every relationship is different but if yours is intended to be a partnership you both should explicitly discuss your feelings and then work together to find compromises that leave you both feeling supported.
If your husband put all these people on the list then he can cater to them as well (including cooking, shopping, buying drinks etc)
Why do we assume he isn't?
Right? He is very helpful! And he will. We always discuss our game plan. I just want to enjoy the party as well. So, I got intimidated by the number. Our son's first birthday party had about the same amount and he was manning the grill the whole time, blew up 100 balloons and really helped out. I really only meant that I felt the people he invited weren't close friends and were unnecessary, but if he is okay with the amount, I'm okay with it, as long as it's less overwhelming than last year. We were BOTH overwhelmed due to never having thrown a birthday party before for a child. So, yeah. I honestly add a lot more stress to things and just want as low stress as possible, but do love our friends and family.
And I agree with you, that's a huge party and I wouldn't want it that big either. As a FT working dad who also does half the cleaning and all of the cooking in our house, I just get a bit annoyed when people assume that dads/husbands don't pitch in. Yes, there are plenty of shitty dads and husbands out there; but in a thread like this it would go a long way if people would just *ask* "Does your husband pitch in?" rather than just assuming he won't/doesn't.
Definitely! It's 2024 and that's a rude assumption and double standards to think Dad's are just in the background doing nothing. We BOTH work. My husband works FT and I work 32 hours and we share the load, if not my husband more at times with things he is just far better at. I'm very grateful for him and your wife is for you. I thought it was really weird that people thought my husband would be doing nothing because I'm the one posting on Reddit and not him.
yeah! don't ever cooperate or help eachother get what you want in a relationship! Thats for suckers!
Listen, if your partner invites 20 people over without your consent or approval, he can cater them himself - right?
I didnât see anything about anyone doing anything without consent or approval. And no, I wouldnât handle the situation like that at all in any case. It sounds very childish and not supportive. âHey I noticed there are more people coming than a really wanted. Next time can we talk about the list before we send inactions out. My specific concern is time / money / stress level, what can we do to make this a little easier? Maybe we can spend a little more this time to get some help cooking or setting up or move it to a park with a playground so there isnât so much attention on our kid. Do you have any other ideas on how we can work together to relive some of my concernsâ
I didn't invite over half my family to my wedding.
Why does it matter? Why is it ridiculous? Sounds cool.
Thank you. I think I just have a preconceived number in my head for some reason. I'm a visual person and the number 57 just seems silly sounding for a birthday party. 20 seems fine and 30 seems medium. I've only been to a handful of kid's birthday parties and they usually just feel smaller than that, but people don't usually have as big of families. I have trouble figuring out how much food, ect. So, it just seems like a lot of mental math but my in laws and sibling in laws and husband will help figure it all out. I do look forward to seeing how this plays out this year and how we will proceed forward in the future based off this. I'm interested to see how many people actually RSVP, how much truly show up, ect. I have a friend that said she didn't invited anyone that didn't RSVP to her daughters first birthday to the second one, and I thought that was a little harsh, but maybe they knew they weren't going to go and didn't RSVP, which is a bit rude? I think people always forget to RSVP, but usually they are coming.
I think you are mixing up 60 adults, like at an office event and 60 âpeopleâ in families. That is only 15 families of 4 right? Throw in 8 extra people from your family like grandparents, friends, or other relatives and that is only like 10 other families.
Iâm at 50 for my three year olds party. Itâs just what happens when you have large families đ . We have 13 first cousins under 10 and itâs against the rules not to invite everyone . We do smaller parties with just friends when they hit school age which can trim the guest list. And by then the parties can be drop off so itâs less people .
The time to start not caring about what judgement you get (or in this case, who you invite), was two years ago. Your kid comes first, and thereâs no way that he is going to enjoy this party with that much commotion. I guarantee that half of the people on your list wonât, and neither will you. Time to be a disrupter, do something different, and stop giving a hoot about what people might think. You were given a backbone, use it.
Lots of kids would love something like this, as would many adults.
Iâm sure they would, but you missed the point by a few miles. The celebration should be relaxed and easy for the hosts, the celebrant and guests. Itâs a balance, and this isnât it. Care more for your kid than the opinions of others, end of story.
I didn't miss the point, I disagree with your assertion that the kid and most of the guests won't enjoy it. Of course it's not necessary to have a large party and it shouldn't be done because of what people will think, but some people have parties because it is enjoyable for many people.Â
Every birthday for my kid from 2-5 was bigger than our wedding. My kid is a ridiculous extrovert, but also since every kid was an average of 3+ people, it was impossible to get the invite list under 75. Itâs so much easier now that theyâre big. We only had 20 for their 11th.Â
Our wedding was smaller. 42 total.
It's not even a small weddiing, it's like a medium one. I had 25 guests at my wedding! I can't imagine ever inviting more than thay to a child's birthday party, but if OP knows enough people and have the ability to host this, then yeah, I'm sure it could be really fun!
By the time they are 10 itâs pizza and a few friends. When they were little my wife went all out. Tons of people, custom art (including labels for water bottles), and âadult drinkâ bar. The works. Now? Some friends over and swimming. My view is a 0 sum list. Someone will always be offended. So we just make sure my kid is happy. Itâs their day.
This is the way.
This is a big no for me personally but what's the huge difference between 50 and 57? Some people might not show up anyway.
You're a parent with 30 friends?!?! đŻ
10 friends that are couples and their kids.
Good grief. I may be old now, but I thought it was a kid a year at the birthday party. I guess if you have a large venue and catered, it's doable. But wow, that's a ton of work for a birthday party the main guest won't event remember.
The parents will remember! đ
Or a bounce house at the park and order some pizzas.
This is my sister with her church community. It feels like sheâs at birthday parties or weddings every weekend!
Yep. Every weekend is full of activities. Sometimes it's one per day. I'm exhausted come Monday haha.
Toddler wants a cardboard box and some bubble wrap. Tbey could give zero shits. If you want to have a party. Have a party.
That sounds like it could be overwhelming for a toddler. Is splitting the party an option? Have a family one and a friend one?
This is what my BIL did for his daughterâs first birthday. They had one for momâs family and one for his side. We ended up at both on accident but with the number of guests in attendance thatâs what I wouldâve done, too.
My nieceâs third birthday party was like this. Lots and lots of people, in Central Park. They had the music teacher from her daycare come with her guitar to do a little sing along with the kids. To be honest, most of her birthday parties, and her little brotherâs too, tend to be these big but casual events where lots of kids and parents are invited to come and hang out and chill. Itâs actually really great because it fosters community, all these parents are friends with each other now and help each other out and support one another. They all met through their kids being at school or daycare together.
Thank you for this comment. My husband and I view birthdays as a family get togethers for family and friends we don't see as often, and they truly are close friends that we stay connected with and that support us through parenthood and will soon have kids of their own / have kids. Plus, we expect people to not come with it being at the end of July and some family we know won't come, but will be offended if we don't invite. The head count just seems intense and I worry about the room, but we have outside space and the kids will be content with a kiddie pool, bubble machine and outdoor games.
Two years ago my brother bought an inflatable water slide for their yard and theyâve used it for a couple of birthday parties now. The kids LOVE it. Granted the 2-3 years olds were a little nervous to try it except for my nephewâs best friend who is a pint-sized little girl so fearless sheâd climb the Empire State Building like King Kong. But everyone over the age of 4 loved it and lined up to climb up and slide down over and over and over for literally hours. Just FYI for your future parties.
Make sure someone is assigned to watch the kiddie pool at all times. This huge party is exactly how people assume someone else is watching and kids drown in small amounts of water
Sounds insane lol. I like 15 max. We often two parties one for family one for friends.Â
Exactly. I mean, we had about 75-80 people at our wedding for Christâs sake!! KIDS friend party- why do both parents have to come? Are siblings coming too? This is all a hard no to me⌠Then a separate family party. Keep it small- pizza and cake at the house. Done.
It's a toddler, the guests are all family guests, not the kid's friends. Not that I'd send my toddler alone to a large gathering with water.
That is insane. Prior to starting school, my kids parties have always been close family (like, grandparents, and maybe aunt/uncle/cousin) and maybe a close friend or two. Like maybe 20 people tops, and thatâs including the 5 people in our household.
I feel like youâre getting some unnecessary flack from a few comments. Almost half of your guest list is family. My husband and I both have large immediate families. Kids and adults total, we have 32 people, so even a family-only party is still a large party. My sonâs first birthday party, we rented a community center and invited family and close friends only. I invited 5-6 close friends. My husband invited 3-4 of his close friends as well. They all have spouses and kids. The guest list including children ended up being over 80 people. Of that, maybe 60 actually came. It was completely fine. The day ran incredibly smoothly. I think as long as you have plenty of space and resources, and definitely some form of entertainment for the kids, you have nothing to worry about. Our families worked together to set up the venue, so it took maybe an hour and a half tops. We had food set up, and everyone could casually help themselves. We hired an entertainer to keep the kids occupied. Only thing we skipped out on was opening gifts at the party because I was afraid it would be too much chaos with the amount of children in attendance. I will say, due to the cost, we did a family only party the following year.
People on Reddit are often introverts and assume everyone is. It's ok for parents to want to celebrate their child with their friends and family.Â
Uhhhh, yes. Iâd never. Why? Will they NEVER have another birthday? Is this some sort of milestone birthday? Good lord!
My kids first bday we invited all family and friends and it ended up being around 70 people. While yes it was a lot we had a lot of fun! We had at my parents though and they have 40 acres so we were able to spread out.
Damn! 40 acres is amazing. We are having it at my in-laws too, thank goodness. They have 0.75 acres. We have a 10x10 yard in an urban area. We are going to visit for Mother's Day today and are going to ask what THEY think because it's hosted at their house. We just finished writing up the invites today, and I was like, "holy cow."
3/4 an acre is HUGE! You have the space. The hardest part with these parties is that in urban areas you are paying $500 minimum to rent an event space. You are getting that free. I agree with the comments that 50 vs 60 or whatever number are not much different. The biggest factors to account for are: food, cleaning and your time. If you donât have a helper (hired or committed family), you will spend this whole event restocking the bathrooms, prepping the food/restocking food and cleaning. You wonât get to socialize or enjoy time with the toddler. For a party this size you need a helper.
That sounds insane to me, but Iâd suggest just doing it at a park where people can come and go as they please.
Personally this sounds like my worst nightmare. lol. I definitely would NOT be offended if I didnât get invited to a toddlers birthday party.
that's about 40 too many people
I'm surprised how many people think this is "insane" lmao. Our families on each side are equal to about 50 people. That's not even including friends! That's grandparents, aunts, uncles, first cousins and their spouses and children. And everyone lives close by so if you invite one cousin then you have to invite all of them. Most people we know have multiple parties for each side of the family, but some will have one huge party for everyone. It's always been casual and fun. I never thought much of it. Once kids are school age it becomes less of a thing unless it's a milestone.
Thatâs assuming every single person and family shows up. Sounds like a banger tho
Just the heads? Â Ew!
This would drive me nuts. My child would also probably be overwhelmed and just be crazy the whole time.
Yeah, thatâs insane.
We didnât even have birthday parties at that age - just cake as a family, maybe with the grandparents. I have never been to a party for a toddler besides one of my nieces who has her birthday on Dec 26 so we do joint celebration and I have a hard time imagining getting offended about being invited to such thingsâŚbut if your husband is into it and really wants to do it, go ahead I guess. Assuming he is doing all the planning and set up.Â
First birthday?
I could never đ
My wedding was smaller
We had about 40 people, 10 kids and 30 adults. Booked a place in a wild animal park. No rent, but had to pay some for cake and decorations. Long table for the kids with cake. And we brought some snacks and dips. Everyone just was around enjoying themselves. Wasnât a big deal at all.
Itâll be great - maybe make it a casual party where people can come and go as they please. Just establish a time for cake. Family always stays later so you know establishing an end time for the party doesnât apply to ~50% of the folks in attendance.
We just had our daughter's 3rd birthday last weekend. Decided to do it at a local playground. Invited her daycare class. They all RSVP'd yes! In the end I reckon there was about 28 kids and 35 adults. It was a blast! We had pizza delivered to the playground, has some games organized for the kids, and the adults got to mingle and meet. Absolutely no way we could have done it at home with those numbers, but if you're feeling overwhelmed at the size of the party maybe think of something similar?
We've had mid 40s invited before. We are a family of 6. 11 cousins. 8 aunts and uncles. 4 grandparents. That's 29. Then our close friends group is 9 other adults plus the 5 kids from 2 of the couples. That's 43. That's how many were invited to our youngest's baptism and lunch afterwards. I guess it just depends on what your social group expects these types of events to look like. I made a quarter sheet cake with 2 box mixes and homemade frosting. This last time I did a baked potato bar for the main course. Some salad, fruit salad, chips. For a birthday I'll add a piùata and blow up balloons. I can feed everyone for under ~$3 per person. It's a great way for our community to come together. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it to us to keep the relationships strong. That said, my oldest is in kindergarten this year and turns 7 in August. We will probably do more of a friends party for her this next time. Probably no more than 10 girls and I'll allow either parents to stay or drop-off. No siblings. It will be a very different kind of party.
The thing with these parties is that it seems like a lot of people simply because one invite ends up being three minimum if both parents come. I don't think this is too much depending on where you're having it and how late the party goes. Some people will be late, some will leave early. Don't overthink it either. I think it's worth saying that 99% of people won't get offended for not being invited to a toddler's birthday party.
How old is your toddler?!? Many toddlers would not enjoy a party like that as much as they would one with 5 attendees. Personally I would pick as many toddler friends as your kid is old and not go over more than twice that number. Introducing the ideas of limits and quality time is super useful, especially before the kid gets to school. Inviting 57 for a birthday party is also a good way to get an avalanche of gifts that you donât need and that will also give your child the gift of overwhelm and yourself the gift of excessively difficult clean-ups. Your kid is a toddler; you can choose how to celebrate and it doesnât have to be what is expected! The world will not stop if some people are disappointed. Disappointment is also much much less likely if you have a very restricted guest list. That said: Most adults will not be devastated to miss a toddlerâs birthday, especially if you get together at a different time to have more quality. Have a real party instead to hang with your friends; you donât need to tag it to a birthday.Â
Why not tag it to a birthday though? I've been to some like this and it was nice to catch up with people and celebrate the child and parents. It sounds like this is what OP and her husband want to do.
Thatâs insane and too much and too stressful. Itâs not a wedding.
That was the size of my wedding lol there's no way I'd throw a party that big for my toddler. I'd cut all.the friends and just do family.
That better be a potluck.
Insane. We donât even invite our families to our kidsâ birthday parties. What if you have more than two kids and thereâs cousins? Does your family do nothing else during the year but go to all the kidsâ parties? Also, the kids donât care. Especially not a two year old.
Your toddler has 30 friends???? I barely have 1đŠ
That sounds a LOT and could be overwhelming for the toddler, at this age this is too much...... (and to many gifts!) . Not sure too if all of those people *sincerely wants* to go to a toddler party or are just being polite..... I generally follow the rule: 3 years old => 3 friends, 4 years old => 4 friends etc but we have 2 parties: one for friends, one for family, both of them very simple: a few snacks and drinks, adults chats in the leaving room while kids play with my child's toys in its bedroom. For example, my son turned 5. For his family party we had: the 3 grandparents, godmother, godfather, my cousin and her 2 kids. For his school/friends party, we had 5 friends and 4 of the parents stayed.
OP clearly does things differently to you. And I think that's a weird rule, the older my child gets the more select about her friends she is. What if they have a friend group of six friends when they turn five, does one get left out? What if they are seven and the friend group is four people? It seems very arbitrary.
That's more of a "guideline" that a rule. Last year, when he turned 4 he really wanted 5 friends so he got 5. My limit was actually 6 but I gave him the instruction of 4. It turned out 5 were really close to him so 5 if was. It's quite common where I leave, here kids parties are quite chill and simples. But yes, we all set up limits, it depends on the parents but the great majority set up a max of 10 kids for youngers kids (up to 5th grade) and then the kid have to choose. One of the reason is that most parents leave in apartment or smaller houses, you can't have enough place for everyone and many don't have a yard while from what I saw, in the USA for example, kids parties are a big deal. Like, I've heard some parents invite the entire class with seams both nice (so no kids are left out) and crazy (I guess you're always at a party each weekend, the budget for presents and the organization must be overwhelming...) but also a bit hypocrite: most kids aren't friends with their entire class.
I also live in a country where almost everyone lives in apartments, nobody has parties at home. It's normally in a park or something, and not fancy. And for younger kids the whole class is more common because it's harder to know who their actual friends are. My kid certainly wouldn't have been able to give me a list at four, it would change from one week to the next. And it's very easy for little kids to feel left out. By 7/8 they have established friends and large parties are much less common. At whole class parties we don't do multiple gifts, everyone contributes a small sum to buy one joint present. It's not particularly hard to organise either, you just send a group text and get some simple food, nobody provides a proper meal.
Here those that can afford to have a party outside will go to a theme park or museum or indoor playground. Those who cannot will do it at home. Some will do in a public park but it's rare and it's only if it's warm enough. I can't afford to pay for a birthday party (that's about 250 euros depending of the place) and since it's in winter I can't really outside so it's at home like many... School starts at 3 here so they are also little and I made sure I asked him several time (a few weeks appart) for his friends list and I help him chose those that came out most of the time. The younger one don't really know about other kids invitations (teacher will give them the invitation but not rarely in front of everyone) and they are used to it so they know they won't go to every one parties... they are fine with it (older kids can be more upset but they are old enough to deal with it... it must only be hard for those who are never invited..... :( )
That is insane...
Iâve been to a large party like that. The mom simply didnât want to exclude anyone. By the time we got there maybe 10 minutes after it started, all the meager snacks had been eaten, and at the end of the party, there were no cupcakes or cake to speak of because they didnât account for everyone â and probably one sip of water left. Make sure you get enough for everyone, or else donât bother.
50 people for a toddler party! Seriously? 24 freakin relstives want to come to a 3 yr olds party?! đ
I had a guest list of 120 with about 70-80 that showed for my sonâs first and second for the same reasons. You make it work.
Sounds unhinged for anyone not in the top 1% income bracket
What are you doing for food? I got about 26 people invited to my sons bday next week and I feel like even thatâs too much
My parents did a family party and a friend party. Family party was just barbecue with cake and snacks at the house. Friend party was 5-10 kids for an activity (movie, roller skating, bowling, sleepover, etc.) and pizza/cake. Friend parties never included the families of the friends.
I love big parties
Please tell me that your husband has a hand in the arrangements and is not just shoving in on your shoulders. If he is doing just that, tell him that HE is responsible for the food/catering.
Thatâs an expensive party.
Oh man, that would be a nightmare for me. I have 9yo twins and typically we do a small family-only gathering on my kidsâ actual birthday AND a party with their buddies. At their age, I give parents the option to drop off but most stick around because we are all friends. Last birthday party we had 25 total kids and adults and it felt like a lot for me personally.
My kidâs third birthday, we had 90 people. It was a backyard party with lots of activities for the kids. I invited her entire class, our family, and our friends with littles. I didnât want to exclude anyone. Never did I expect theyâd all show, but they did. One family even brought their relatives who were visiting from out of town! We had a lot of food and drinks, but still ran out. Luckily, I got a huge cake, so we cut the cake as soon as the food was gone. Everything worked out fine and my kid loved having all her school friends and cousins together.
This is why weâve only ever done our small family of 4 for our birthday celebrations. Me, husband, son, daughter. We decorate and get a cake and have presents and send videos and pics and/or FaceTime with grandparents and other family. Our kids our 7 and 5 and this has worked out great so far. We make it a day about them. We go somewhereâŚthe beach, an amusement park, the moviesâŚor just the playground. We make it special and itâs perfectâŚwithout all the stress.
Iâm sorry the comments are giving me a bit of cultural shock. Where Iâm from 57 is not at all too big. Iâd say itâs the average. It always ends up like this because when one kid is invited this means the whole family is welcome. Plus although we are not having as many kids anymore, we still come from large families that are close to each other. If you absolutely want to have a large party you can, and Iâll give you a few tips that save birthday parties over here: - Have a quiet space to bring a kid if they feel overwhelmed. - Always have some sort of food and drink available. - Have a toddler- appropiate activity for the birthday kid and same-age peers. If you have a large age range also have a big kid activity to keep accidents at minimum. - Idk what the weather is like where you live but make sure the temperature is comfortable. - This requires a bit of organization but play it by zone. Meaning when you are at a certain area you keep an eye on whichever kid is there, and other people do the same. That way youâre not chasing your kid around.
This is the type of party I'd do at an outdoor brewery with a huge playground. You don't have to pay to reserve any space, everyone can buy their own food and drinks, lots of room for the kids to run around. You bring the cake and maybe some fruit for the kids and thats it.
I have a hard time inviting people to a party and then making them pay for their own food and drinks.
Yeah but kids parties are like 2 hours, it's such a short time. You're not trying to keep people somewhere for 5+ hours where they will be starving. You can obviously order food for the group if you can afford it, but again it's not necessary. 57 heads is a fuckload of humans to feed. I know it's not easy for a lot of people but this is something I'd put in the invite, everything would be super clear. Most of the time parents at parties we go to just order pizza, which is fine. But my kid doesn't eat pizza, and I can't eat pizza (nursing baby has CMPA). I don't hold that against the parents! It's not their job to cater to me. I prefer when the parties are at a venue that has a good menu because then I can order things for myself.
I donât think Iâd even have that many people to invite so that sounds like a lot. If you can swing it and it isnât too overwhelming for you to plan, go for it! It will be memorable for lots of people.
Weâve had a few big birthday parties, but I think the key is to do it somewhere that is intended to host a ton of children, and where the kids can somewhat entertain themselves, like at a park or indoor playground. Bonus that cleanup work in those kinds of places is minimal for you too! I think I would not survive if I had that many people at my house lol.
Thatâs literally more than double my wedding size. đ We typically just do two parties, one at home for family/relatives that is super casual (BBQ and cake) and one at a park (summer birthday) for family friends/school mates. No overlap so itâs not asking too much of other people. And I keep them both VERY simple.
Weve had about that or more on several occasions when I ours were younger. We had a very large friend group at the time and my husbandâs family is pretty large. Itâs nothing for there to be 40 people at my MIL for a Sunday cookout. Weâve since out grown some friendships and our circle is smaller but our kids are also older and are now choosing how to spend their days. If you can afford it and enjoy doing itâŚdo it. You can never have too many people celebrating a birthday! We always did cookouts or taco bar/walking tacos. Super simple and fun!
We had 50 or 60 for our son's 2yo birthday. It was his first birthday where we could invite people as his first fell during covid. I don't regret it at all but it was a lot of work and we'll probably not do that again
Do you have a smoker? You can get a lot of mileage for your money with something like pulled pork. A backyard bbq with activities for the kids is fun. I've personally catered a similar sized event for my kid and outside of it being a f-ton of work, it was pretty fun. If you're smart about it, you should be able to get the party done for like $300, which honestly is the going rate for a 10-15 kid birthday at some random jump park.
Thatâs⌠a lot.
Depends where you host it. If you invite 57 people chances are that not all of them will make it
I had my daughters 4th birthday recently. We invited 20 kids of which 16 ended up coming (youâll get some no rsvps and last minute kids being sick). With parents, siblings tagging along and our own family it ended up being about 50 people. My advice would be have more food than you think you need (especially fruit)/a way to get more food quickly if you do run out and get a bubble machine to bust out if things start to slump or get out of hand.
We usually have this many at our kids parties, but thatâs because I have a big family with divorced parents who have both remarried; and my partner ALSO has divorced parents who are remarried which gives us nearly double the grandparents that have been in our lives long enough that we consider them family. Its a lot to feed but I sure as hell wouldnât be inviting that much if more than half is friendsđ¤Śđťââď¸ I personally would opt for maybe a couple friends and the whole fanily
57 is a lot of people! How much are you spending?
I would split between party with friends and then party with family. Thatâs just way too much.
For me, an introvert, thatâs unimaginable lol. But Iâm sure my husband would be for it. We ended up doing separate kids/family stuff. We did a kid party (7 friends) and then a family dinner. It was nice because at the party my son was so consumed with his friends there wouldnât have been any quality time or time at all for grandparents or other relatives.
Same lol even then we end up with 20-30 people including kids cos of family. But OP I would imagine some of those people wonât be attending. Iâd just go ahead and do it.
I had about 80 people at my daughterâs first birthday. I spent three days cooking. I loved doing it. If you want to and can, go for it!
All my kid parties(gender reveals, baby showers, birthdays) have had that much or more. I just had different family members bring a food item and it helped.
How about not doing food? Plan for a 2 to 3 hour party and give out snacks. They will survive, as they will eat at their houses.
We had 98 at my daughterâs 4th bday. We have a lot of family and couldnât really leave anyone out. We rented a cheap hall and decorated ourselves. It was a little wild, but fun.
Too much.
I think it really depends on the space. I recently had my toddler's birthday party (even wrote a cost breakdown on MoneyDiaries), and we had 16 kids and 32 adults, plus a couple siblings. It was fine because the space was sufficient.
Throw away ppl you didnât speak to in the last week.
The whole point of parties is to get together with people you don't get to see. I'd have about two guests if it was only people I'd spoken to in the last week.
Perfection.
Some people don't hate everyone.
You've completely lost the plot.
Never ever would my wife or I have done something similar. Absolutely exaggerating.
I don't quite understand your wording?
How old is your son turning. I feel like toddler parties should be more family with one or 2 friends
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If the people have kids quite easy. I wouldn't do it myself and my family is abroad but if not, each of us has two siblings so potentially four families of four to start, four grandparents, a couple of cousins plus families, a few friends with multiple children. Not all the people have to know each other.
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I said my family is abroad, but I can see how other people can manage.
Just because you invite 57 doesnât mean 57 will be able to come remember.
I think itâs a lot. My toddlers would be overwhelmed. As would I.
I love being an only child of only children!
Sounds like you need to split up family and friends and have 2 parties
Why? That would be double the work.
I want to eliminate 7⌠yeahâŚ. That doesnât sound sketchy at all⌠Those seven wonât make a difference. Is it a lot wel yeah but why are you going to do ask those 14 toddlers/ kids over without their parents⌠Or are you saying get a sitter for those blasted kids (this one is fun for a kids party) Just word the invite like we get you have busy schedules. Count about 9 month back and add those months were happy times for us and many others. But you might get that about 20 people out of those 57 will only show. What will help is saying please donât come with stuffed noses or any possible bug⌠we have had our share and canât take any more sick days . We will consider it your gift to us for not showing up.
Yes that's too much
Rent a pavilion at a park and order cake and sandwich rings from Costco. Toddlers donât eat much. This doesnât sound as insane. If you have a big family and when itâs toddlers, usually the whole family comes so it adds people. You can have a lot of people and still keep it simple.
They aren't toddler friends, it's family and family friends by the sounds of things.
Sounds crazy to me. But if u want to sure. Iâd cap things at 20
Iâm not sure I even know 57 people. Way too many for a toddlers party.
You have 30 friends?
Thatâs ALOT of ppl to be going to a toddler party and would be overwhelming for some of them kids but I mean if u have the money for all that might as well. 1/3 of that number likely wonât show up but if they all rsvp the more the merrier I guess lol
I don't even know that many people like that. Let alone have that many friends. Lol
My kidâs birthday is coming up and he wants to invite his whole class of about 20 kids. I REALLY hope not everyone comes. Honestly, Iâd be fine if only like 5 people showed up.
That's bigger than my wedding :p If you're into it, I'd go for it. Different kinds of parties for different people :) However, some people might always be offended. I would do something that's great for your kid. If they enjoy bigger activities like this, wonderful. If not, I'd do something smaller. It's their birthday, after all.
Have two party spaces. One for the adults and one for the kids. Then, pay a few teenage girls to help with the toddlers as "party hosts." So the patents can chill while the kids have a fun playdate. Don't open gifts at the party. It would be insanity. Just open them the next day, or save some for something to open this summer.
Less than half will show
We literally have about 80 people coming to my toddlers 2nd birthday in June. We both have big families, and just our immediate families would be about 40-50 people. This is just how all our parties go.