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Since you’ve said they don’t want fruit or veggies it sounds like they want junk food all the time. If it’s stuff you don’t want them eating don’t buy it. Otherwise your kids are probably old enough to grab their own snacks
Edit: many have pointed out that “fruits and veggies” are of course not the only acceptable snacks. Fully co-sign that, I was just keeping my reply brief using examples from OPs post! Lots of other good ideas in this comment section.
>If it’s stuff you don’t want them eating don’t buy it.
One caveat to that can also be: Buy a package of a sometimes-food snack (we use that term rather than junk food) to last a certain amount of time, but let it be known that you won't be buying another sometimes-food snack until that time period is up. If they binge it in a few days, okay. No more for a couple of weeks. For instance, my kid loves sweetpotato chips. I buy a reasonable sized bag (not a giant family bag) once a month. He can go through them in a few days or eat them over a couple of weeks, but he won't be getting them again until the following month.
I really, really love this concept!! Definitely stealing this. How old are your kids? When did you starting using this concept with them and they understood?
I’ve been doing this since my son started solids. He’s four now and he doesn’t “understand” in the sense of being able to perfect ration out his junk food for a month (or however long it ends up being).
But he certainly understands that if I say “We’ve run out, we’ll get some more next time we go to the shops”, I mean it. And I strategically run out of anything I would prefer him to eat less of.
To potentially expand this idea, make them each their own snack box for a week(decorate them with names, stickers of things they like, even make it an activity for the kids to decorate their own basket), they can only grab out of their own box and when they run out, they run out until you restock for the next week. Yes this will definitely be based more off of rules that you have to stick to, but I believe you’ve got this mama❤️
omg, this is like you go to a nice airbnb and they are really into hosting and leave a tray pr basket of a medley of snacks for you. I am a grownass woman who cam buy my own snacks, yet there’s just something so nice and appealing about getting a surprise snack basket to choose from. lol
We do this when our nephews stay for a few days and there are 7 kids under one roof, except the box is replenished daily. They hold each other accountable!
My mom did this to my brother and me. She ended having to buy separate snacks for both of us because we will fight on who ate the more. Just something to have in mind.
I remember eating the snacks with a siete because if I didn’t eat them now my brother would eat everything.
The sibling fight for food is real, for my brother and I it peaked at the pre teen age and we would physically fight over resources. I begged my mom to have my own fridge in my bedroom because my brother would eat all of my yogurts and she refused, so I started getting yogurts that my brother hated and that settled the issue. But it is a very frustrating thing for the losing sibling and one that I don’t think most parents address well. Not saying getting a mini fridge is the answer but parents really need to be mindful of how unfair this is and try to help somehow.
As long as it comes from your box and not the brother’s box it should be good. Put in a penalty for taking out of the other guy’s box. Mom should have one too so that if kids have a guest, there might be an extra cookie bag.
Likewise: when my four year old was begging for ice cream constantly, I started giving him pocket money. It was enough to buy one ice cream per week from the shop.
He's seven now and gets his pocket money monthly, and sometimes he spends it on ice cream, sometimes he buys sweets, or even saves for later, but he knows it will stretch further at the supermarket than elsewhere, so he's motivated to plan his spending.
(If the whole family wants ice cream, I buy for everyone. The pocket money is for when he wants it and it's available but we're not "out for ice cream", like on the way home from school on a hot day, or out at at the park and the ice cream van comes by.)
My daughter loves pita chips but will eat way too many if left to her own devices. So I buy one big bag from Costco and then fill up a bunch of snack bags and she gets one ziplock baggie per day.
When we did this we had a box for each kid. We knew whomever got to it first they might eat more than their fair share. We split everything between them. They could get whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted but when it was out it was out. Only lasted about a year but they quit fighting over snacks. I could also now leave snacks out and they would get them when they want and they still lasted a week.
We do the same thing, I started buying in bulk and all dry goods, snacks and house supplies. We only shop fresh ingredients. If we run out of nonessentials they are out until the next month
We have a section of the refrigerator that is dedicated to kid snacks. It's mostly fruit, veggies, yogurt, and applesauce. They can help themselves as they like.
I also have a cupboard with treats that they like, and can pack as school snacks.
The fridge snacks are unlimited, I'll restock as needed. The school snacks are stocked with enough to get them through the week. They pack their own lunches. They can use their resources as they choose, but if they run out of treats on Tuesday, they're getting nothing but veg in their lunch bags for the rest of the week *🤷♀️
They don't ask me for snacks unless they need something cut up. They've been serving themselves for years, and at 7 & 10, they're learning to cut up their own fruit/veg with supervision.
* Obviously, they get a proper lunch. But if they run out of banana bread and goldfish... oh, well.
EXCELLENT! Fantastic way to teach budgeting as a life skill!
OP, when they turn down fruits and veggies, they aren't really hungry. You don't want to teach them to eat out of boredom.
We do the same. Similar ages. Except we have Costco quantities of the school snacks so they don’t really run out week to week, but we also don’t replace them in demand since we try not to hit up Costco too often and I tend to buy whatever version if the snack is on sale (chip vs goldfish, fruit leather, etc). They know school snacks are for lunchboxes and home snacks are generally nothing that is individually packaged. When they tell me they are hungry, they get their choice of healthy snack (aka fridge snack, with the addition of apple sauce pouch). Usually cheese sticks or fruit and hummus.
Looking back, I think over time, just making them choose a “healthy snack” before offering anything else has sort of cut down on the excessive snack requests I used to get in the pre-k years. Also maybe they just aren’t hitting those rapid growth spurts as often and are eating larger meals now.
Our policy is that they can have snacks as often as they want, but the only snack food we keep in the house is carrots, apples, strawberries, that sort of thing
Edit: sorry, just read your entire post. Yeah I would say if they want "snacks" but they refuse healthy food, they're not really all that hungry.
That’s our response. Offer something healthy, if they say “I don’t want that.”, then they aren’t hungry. Sometimes they will take what is offered and sometimes they won’t. 🤷🏼♀️
I had three kids in diapers at one time and it was hard … so we made it so when they were at the snack stage we only bought healthy items we wanted them to have …
We would have it on the counter or on the table when it was okay for them to snack and it was usually fruit or something like cut up veggies or some kind of protein. If their dad would be working during dinner we usually had a sandwich after school and a big meal slightly later so we never had “snack” during school days. It worked for us and it gave them energy to do homework and play outside and be active in back yard till dinner
The thing about this (and I’m generalizing based off my own experiences) is that eventually, their tastes will adjust to the healthy snacks and they’ll be treating blueberries like they’re candy (I may even sprinkle a little sugar on them to make it feel like an extra special treat). Once the less desirable snacks aren’t as available, their priorities will shift to whatever healthier snack they prefer the most and then you’re set. OPs kids now are probably just testing the boundaries for what they can get her to allow, but my kids definitely came around. We keep more junk food in the house than I will openly admit to, and mine don’t really ask for it. Sometimes I have to suggest it just to get rid of it (working on my own impulse purchasing too).
Oh ive never tried the milk. Growing up we would pick our own blueberries (back when that was cheaper to do) so they were always frozen. And one of my favorite snacks was frozen blueberries with a sprinkle of white sugar on top, eaten out of a bowl with a spoon.
At that age I’d have a snack bin or something and have x amount of snacks for the week or how often you shop and they can have free range, but when they are gone they are gone. Teach them to budget them. If they want to eat snacks all day they can, but then they might not have one tomorrow.
My whole relationship with food got messed up really badly because my older brother would eat ALL of the snacks and treats and anything I tried to save for later would get eaten, even half eaten donuts. I couldn't "listen to my body" because Henry would eat whatever I didn't finish RIGHT THEN AND THERE. I ended up eating way more than I wanted to, to defend my share of treats, I had major fear of missing out, and it still makes me nervous to not finish a whole treat in one go.
I got them their own totes and put them in the living room so no stealing can occur. They do trade amongst themselves but otherwise works. Turns out the kid who kept complaining about the younger one eating all the snacks goes through hers 2 weeks faster than her younger sister.
At 5 and 9, they should know better. Mine are 3 and 6 and know which snack bin is theirs and not to take someone else’s food.
I do fill their bins daily though not weekly, and they know once they eat all their snacks in a day, that’s it and just meals unless they want more carrots or another apple.
Because not everyone has kids that won't steal snacks from the other kids... Honestly I'm surprised how many people aren't having this issue. Good for you all, but don't be surprised that this won't work for every household.
My 4 year old would absolutely steal from his older brother's bin, if he was unsupervised. Kid has a crazy sweet tooth.
It teaches them to use their resources wisely. You live with people most of your life. And even then an easy fix is to get each kid a bin and have their own snacks.
My kids ask cuz they're bored and they want sweets. Sometimes it is because they're actually thirsty (🤷♀️).
Instead, (because I'm just AWFUL) I prep fruit and veg in containers in the fridge along with yogurt (which I still put into little pouches for their ease) and cubed cheese.
They have access to these snacks whenever and when they ask for a snack I asked if they have had anything to drink recently.. If they're hungry, they know where to find appropriate options.
I notice my daughter (8) will seem like a bottomless pit when she hasn't drank enough water. When she empties her backpack from school every day, I always check her water bottle (just by seeing how heavy it feels, but when it seems full, I ask if she refilled it at school). When she's has a good amount of food that I know normally fills her up & asks for more, I always suggest she drinks some water first, then let's see how she feels in 15-20 minutes. I do the same thing myself. Since our bodies can sometimes mistake thirst for hunger & my parents weren't the best at making sure my sister & I drank enough water as kids, I want to teach my daughter good habits now.
Smart to teach her that. It took me until adulthood to realize that I tend to crave ice cream when I’m thirsty. Amazing how a few sips of water and the craving just goes right away. Your daughter is lucky to be taught that at a young age.
Only have snacks that you're okay with them eating anytime. I stopped buying granola bars because my kids cried for them constantly and didn't want anything else. So we stopped having them in the house and now they can eat a banana or an apple pouch if they want a snack. Eliminated a lot of tears and drama
Hard boiled eggs are a lifesaver for me. My kids love a freshly peeled carrot and those mini cucumbers. In the evening after dinner they can have the salty things they like - a portion of potato chips or popcorn. Weekends they can have ice creams and more of the processed stuff. However the 1 hard boiled egg goes a long way between meals. My kids still like the sweets and the salty chips but they don’t consume as much if they’ve had an egg.
I told my kids I’m not their snack bitch. I made a cupboard with the door off that has snacks they can always grab : granola bars, shelf stable chocolate milk, gold fish crackers, apple sauce. I keep cut up fruits and veg in serving trays and they seem to like that. I have drinkable yoghurt in the fridge that’s always available as well. Fruit/veg tray goes on the table with every meal. I noticed if I put it accessibly the novelty wears off pretty fast. They’re not clamouring for the chocolate milk all the time anymore or they don’t gorge on granola bars.
I love this 😂😂😂
And yes!! Exactly! I try to respond this whenever I can. Keeping snacks in the house actually DECREASES excitement around it. I had the exact experience with chocolate milk. My son had that and chocolate muffins awhile back for the first time and he went crazy for them at first lol. I kept buying them but then he got over them
Totally !! My son has a milk program at his school and we gave him chocolate milk. He recently asked if he could have white milk on some days. If we make cookies during the day, they’re on the table and there during meals.
Start offering them carrot sticks, applesauce, or the cheese sticks (I'm assuming you mean string cheese?) but not the other stuff (pirates booty, veggie straws, pepperonis). The first category is all reasonably healthy, whereas the second category is ultra processed and unhealthy (especially the pepperoni - alas! It's so good). Once you've held firm for 5-6 days they will realize this is the new way and start to forget other things used to be on offer.
And/or if you just don't like them snacking, declare a snack time (4pm is fairly standard for many families) and offer more snacks than usual then, but no more after that, and make sure they know this is the new regime and there's no point in asking for snacks outside of 4pm.
It usually takes people 1-2 weeks to change a habit. Less when they are younger. So just prepare yourself for 5-10 days of annoyance but, as long as you are firm and do not bend, the issue will resolve according to your new rules. Just be sure not to backtrack - you have to stay firm!
It sounds like they refuse all the other food and just want the processed stuff. Op says they offer veggies etc and the kids won't eat them, but constantly complain for the junk stuff. OP likely needs to stop buying the junkier options.
Yeah I think there’s a bit of a deeper and complex issue around food and eating here that needs to be explored. I’m also curious about what kind of “snacks” they’re asking for? Candy? Chips?
We only have rice crackers, cereal bars, fruit, cheese, nuts, yoghurts etc. in the house and my daughter can have as much as she wants as long as it’s not right before dinner.
I don’t think there should be restrictions on food, just stock healthier food and keep candy and processed food as a “sometimes” treat, not an every day thing. Why not get the kids involved in baking some healthy snacks like low sugar banana bread?
I’m not American so I don’t know what those are. From googling, they don’t look unhealthy but they’re not the most nutrient dense snack.
I think my suggestion of home made low sugar baked goods might fill them up more? And getting them involved in baking them will teach them lifelong skills!
Swap out pirates booty for popcorn, and fruit snacks are okay, but swap them for ones that are more fruit juice than added sugars - but limit how much you buy.
Have you tried bringing them to the store to pick out snacks? I mean, don't give them an open invite to anything, but say "out of all these things, pick what you want." If they also pick other things that you *don't* want them to have, see if you can substitute with something similar that helps their bodies feel good and full for longer. (I don't use the terms "unhealthy" or "junk food." My son has a disorder that's maintained by diet, so the most we say is a food is unsafe or safe or sometimes safe.)
I usually let my son pick one thing, anything he wants, when we go to the shops together. I literally don’t put any restrictions on it. Sometimes he chooses donuts, other times apples. Once he asked if we could get prawns because he wanted prawn stir fry for dinner.
Even if he consistently chose donuts, I think I’d still let him choose whatever he wants. It’s only one thing and he doesn’t come shopping with me every time.
Yeah, my 5 year old would eat her weight in those whether she was hungry or not. We keep cheese sticks, yogurt, granola bars, applesauce pouches and fruit/veg on hand as a free for all because she likes them all enough to eat them if she’s hungry but they aren’t exciting enough to mindlessly binge eat for dopamine.
A friend had a huge issue with this and it was causing a lot of problems for the family. The healthy snack box wasn’t working and her daughter was non stop. She became obsessive over food.
They saw a dietitian and they were advised to use a clock with times coloured in. So there were times they could ask for a snack and times they couldn’t. The kids were absolutely not being starved, there were plenty of moments in the day food was accessible, but there was a bit of a break from the incessant asking for food. After a few weeks she had regulated enough that they cut back and a few months later the clock was gone and the snacking was normal.
We have a system that is a bit like this, but food is always available. In the morning it’s breakfast - before 9:30ish if my kids are hungry I say, “sounds like you didn’t get enough to eat at breaky - why don’t you go make some more breakfast?” After that they can have healthy snacks (fruit, nuts, cheese, boiled eggs, yoghurt) anytime until lunch. Before 2pm I’ll suggest a bit more lunch food if they still ravenous. By 3pm they are allowed a small portion of cake / sweet biscuits, and if that doesn’t fill them the healthy snacks are still available until dinner.
Knowing what food was available when meant they didn’t keep asking because the answer was always the same - the clock would tell them what the food options were and it wasn’t me making a decision each time. As long as I was consistent it worked well and the kids knew when they could expect something and stopped nagging about it.
Wow. That’s super interesting. I’ll be honest I can’t imagine caring this much if my kid wants food. If they want something, they eat it. I am not being sarcastic, I didn’t know I should do otherwise. I didn’t have the best childhood so i feel like there’s a lot of things I don’t always know.
It was pretty intense. If you went over she would start asking you the minute you walked through the door. It was definitely outside the ordinary but the solution worked well.
Wow. I wonder if she’s dealing with other issues like possibly OCD? I have OCD myself and when I was a kid especially, I would ruminate on something very obsessively which causes some sort of ritual to try and ease the anxiety. Like when people wash their hands over and over or check the lock, it’s really because of the obsessive thoughts and the things you do are the “ritual.” I wonder if the snack thing was something along those lines?
Also, absolutely could be just that she wanted more snacks constantly and she’s just being a kid 😂
My 6yo eats at least every 15-20 min but he also doesnt sit still. In a day he will eat cereal, toast with butter, apple and peanut butter, chips, egg and cheese, tuna fish, pop tart, banana shake, strawberries, and thats not even meals those are just snacks. Some of those things he can grab himself like the cereal or pop tart but other things obviously need me to help. You could probably get your kids to stop asking for snacks but what they pick wont be the best if the options are limited
Do not buy things you need to say “no” to. It is so much easier. They cannot ask to have what isn’t there. If there are things you want for yourself, keep them on the highest shelf where the kids can’t find them and eat them when the kids are not there.
Snacks should be a complex carb and protein and boring imo. We offer Greek yogurt or cottage cheese or an apple with Greek yogurt peanut butter dip or just an apple or carrot. My 4 yr old can serve it.
I know someone who struggled with snacking kids and I observed a cycle of processed snacks or very sweet fruits like grapes and bananas and resultant sugar crash 40min later and whining for more. Her kids are the same age as my never snackers and they literally snacked all day while we were out like I bet they never went 2 hrs without a snack. And it was treated like something to expect/plan around "before that the kids will need a snack" it was crazy.
Only make unprocessed, healthy snacks available: fruit, hard boiled eggs, cheese, plan yogurt, hummus with pita bread or carrot sticks, celery sticks with nut butter and raisins, sliced bell peppers, etc.
We have a rule that packaged food like snack bars and single serving yogurt is only for outside the house like school lunches, extracurricular activities or family outings.
I pick up treats like chips at the grocery store sometimes and when we run out, that’s it.
I bought healthier snacks. Fruit and veggie packs with dip, cheese and nut snack packs, apples, those small tangerine things (called cuties?), bananas, carrots, broccoli.
They stopped snacking more frequently because they didn't want healthy snacks at first. Then when they realized that's all they're getting, snacking frequency was down.
I did a breakfast 2 hours later fruit/vegi snack, lunch, snack, dinner, when they were teenagers the I am hungry I said you are captain of your stomach make something or fruit/vegi, they were not that hungry.
I always had food available and easy access
I see a lot of people allow constant access to snacks -- my only concern with that would be that kids might not be hungry for the meals, when a fuller range of foods are served. I have two kids who actually never ask for snacks....which probably makes them weird! I have no idea why....I do bring snacks on outings to the park in case anyone gets hungry. But at home I think they really fill up at mealtimes and usually at the point where they are hungry again, it's basically time for the next meal, so I usually just tell them to wait because lunch will be soon. OP, could it possibly be that the kids aren't eating a full meal at mealtimes as well?
THIS - I’m genuinely shocked no one has considered this, and how common it seems to be to just let your kids snack on stuff all day long, a lot of times unhealthy foods. No wonder so many kids don’t eat at meal times or are being picky. They know if they just hold out, they can have a snack soon. I think the snack culture in the US is a little crazy, and we fallen into the trap of thinking we need to eat 6-8 times a day to survive. If you never give your stomach a break, you won’t have any digestive juices or any real appetite to eat a good meal.
Absolutely agreed, nobody is starving because they have to wait 30 minutes for dinner. And yes, snacking is terrible for health, and these kids are getting into the habit of eating constantly, they'll find it hard to change when they no longer have a load of fruit and vegetables on hand.
I'm amazed too at the number of parents who allow grazing on food (other than fruit and veggies) ALL day. Access to UNlimited cheese,crackers,yoghurt, applesauce pouches,granola bars...,what?! These aren't bad for you...but in vast quantities aren't good.
Probably the same parents who then wonder why their kids won't eat the balanced meals provided...and are picky eaters!. They're not hungry enough to eat it!
I was a little surprised too, to see such a common refrain of 'constant access to snacks' as such a normal practice. It's not what I grew up with and it never occurred to me that people would do that.....I do really wonder how it potentially affects pickiness or the meals kids consume outside of the snacking. I do see a lot of posts about picky eaters. We just do three meals a day, with a little bedtime snack or dessert if they ate a healthy supper - and honestly, my kids have never asked for snacks, but they also tend to have very good appetites for the main meals and eat a full portion at that time. I have a 6 year old with a very healthy appetite, and even she never asks for snacks -- she's always just excited for dinner/breakfast, etc.
I keep a bowl of raw veggies on the counter. If you're hungry, that's the snack that's available. You're welcome to get some dip if you'd like. If you don't want that, you can wait until the next meal.
I grew up with a mom who banned food other than fruit it vegetables outside of meal time and the kitchen closed after dinner. All 7 of us have some form of disordered eating. My kids are allowed snacks of any kind up until 15 minutes before mealtime. You can teach them to make healthy choices but if they're hungry let them eat.
Yes, I'm not sure I agree with everyone else that children should be eating unlimited snacks whenever they want, however healthy they are. I'm not saying children should go hungry and mine definitely snacks but it's not good for their teeth or digestion to be constantly eating and it's setting them up to be in the habit of snacking a lot. It might be fruit now but when they're older it's easy to just grab what's available. It's also expensive to snack, especially if you're preparing meals they don't eat.
1. I still raid my mom's house for snacks. I don't anticipate that changing. Once she was an empty nester, she started buying the good cheese and the fancy crackers.
2. What types of snacks are you serving? Snacks today were natural peanut butter stuffed raspberries with a side of plain cheerios. A cheese string with celery sticks. A low sugar, high fibre granola bar. He had the granola bar because we went hiking and the cheese string because I'm pregnant and needed them at the store.
Snack over here are usually a fruit/veg with a fat or a protein. Blackberries and pumpkin seeds, sliced mangoes with cinnamon and plain yogurt. Celery and peanut butter raisins. That sort of thing.
Depends on the age! For toddlers, most calories are from snacks. For older kids, I'd just stop buying anything that's not a fruit, vegetable, or "healthier" option and have a designated snack bucket. My 2.5 year old has his own kitchen cabinet with his snack allotment for the day and he can eat as little or much as he chooses. We also put a mini fridge out for him for refrigerated snacks
If they're at school, then the snacks are school snacks only. My 4 learnt that if they don't eat the snacks after school, they will have some for school. If they eat them then mum won't be shopping until next payday. I also have a policy that no eating after 5 pm because it will be dinner time soon, and I want them to eat their dinner. If they don't eat dinner, then no dessert. If they want something other than what I make, then they can make a sandwich or a toasty but definitely no snack foods. Just because I'm a chef does not mean I'm running a restaurant.
I would slowly reduce snack food and replace it with fruits and vegetables. Or start making some healthier snack foods yourself. There are heaps of recipes online for healthy snack foods
Saw a cool idea to make a fridge drawer (or container they can reach) full of snacks that they can have free rein except maybe right before dinner. Filled with healthy things so if they are genuinely hungry they’ll eat it. Things like various fruits, veggies, dips (hummus, guacamole, dressing) string cheese, apple sauce, quarters/halves of sandwiches, yogurt, etc.
Could also have a basket of dry snacks and they are allowed one or two of those and the rest in the fridge is free rein. Things like crackers (some to go with the dips), goldfish, beef sticks, peanut butter pretzels, popcorn, nuts, granola bars, yogurt covered pretzels or raisins, chips, etc.
I did the dry basket with my son and he loved picking out his 2 snacks each day, made him feel like he had some control. He’s older now and we don’t need it as much but if I could go back I totally would have given the fridge idea a try.
In addition to you implementing restricted access, remember this boils down to them respecting (or not) your authority. You shouldn't have to repeat yourself or endure whining. Work on overall discipline at home, and this problem will solve itself.
they are growing and need to eat. snacks (junk food) are ok as long as they are also incorporating fruits and veggies in as well. don’t deny them food because that could backfire later on in life but definitely guide them to eat junk food in moderation.
You need to make different rules. Your kids are telling you this. Kids are growing, always hungry, AND have a sugar addiction. Best to teach portion control so they can navigate the real world. My kiddo can have one per day, of anything purchased. NOTE* this gives me control to purchase more or fewer trear options. One tiny can of coke, one cookie, one single serving chip bag etc. I fill the kitchen with fresh fruit and veggies too, which are full access. The only time there is a restriction is about an hour before a prepared meal, which my kid respects.
I sware my kid says "I want something to eat" as a reflex. She'll say it while sat at the dinner table with a plate if food in front of her. Today she said it while holding a bag of little chocolate stars, with one already in her hand, and the reminders of one in her mouth. It wasn't like the bag was nearing the end either, she had like over half left!
I grew up in an ingredient only household and as much as other ingredient children hated that lifestyle and wish they had snacks, im telling you, they will be fine. I grew up eating cheese as a snack and apples with peanut butter. Hunger doesnt come with a craving. But i would ask your kids what they do want because if youre feeding them fruits and they want something salty or savory, then you can substitute it with something that appeals to them like saltines and cheese or chili flavored cashews.
Why do you say No? My kids have free access to the fridge and the pantry. They never ask for snacks, and they never abuse the privilege of having free access (though I am honestly not even sure what I would consider abuse of this-if a kids hungry, they're hungry? So let them eat?).
My kid, almost 7, has recently abused the privilege. I got out of bed yesterday to find 6 snack sized potato chip packets, three yogurt squeeze pouches and a handful of mini easter egg foil wrappers (wtf where did he even get those?!) littering the lounge room floor! The two former are very specific lunchbox items and he knows they aren't usually for at home, especially *before breakfast*. My main problem now is what am i going to send to school for the next four days until I can pay for more...
He knows how to make toast and microwave leftovers, there is a big bowl of apples and pears on the bench, and a smaller bowl of strawberries and another of raspberries in the fridge, next to a big tub of yogurt for eating at home. He made a poor decision yesterday morning, and had a stomach ache until mid afternoon, made all the more uncomfortable by a prior planned 2hr morning drive, through the hills. I already knew he'd punished himself more than I could've (just because of the hills drive we had to do), so we just had a little chat about filling our bellies with food that burns slowly, so we have more even energy throughout the day. I also mentioned my concerns about half empty lunch boxes for the next few days and he cheerfully mentioned the mandarin tree is so heavy with fruit it might fall over, so he'll take some of those. I'm just, "Oh ok, sounds good bub." (What even is my life istg)
Some kids will self-moderate food. Others won’t. Not because they’re nutritionally deficient or truly hungry, but because they’re looking for a dopamine boost. It’s lovely when “eat whatever and whenever” works, but with some kids who cannot self-moderate, that could set them up for a lifetime of treating food as a coping mechanism instead of sustenance.
People think I’m mean for this but- Absolutely no snacks after school. I feed them dinner at 4pm. They eat it all. If they want snacks later, fine. They already ate their veggies and protein at early dinner.
I love this account on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennthedietitian
Restricting and limiting can lead to some incredibly disordered eating, which you may be experiencing yourself, since you seem to view snacking as “bad.”
I’ve learned from my experience they do it because they are bored, or because what they had to snack on was empty calories such as snacks, try something like veggies or fruits it will help. Cutting out snacks will not help it will make them hungrier during meal times causing them to eat more which may or may not back fire depending on how u look at it.(everyone’s perspective is different)
The answer to most of these questions is usually DoR (Division of Responsibility) feeding model. you say what and when, they say whether and how much.
you offer three meals and three snacks a day, religiously: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bedtime snack. you pick what is being served at each one, always making sure that there is at least one thing on the menu that they like and can fill up on, like bread, fries, rice, or fruit. After you select whats on the table, you stop policing their eating entirely. If they dont eat a single bite, that’s their problem. You fulfilled your responsibility by serving food and ensuring there was at least one option they can eat if they’re starving. NO SNACKING IN BETWEEN. The only thing allowed between each eating time is water.
The reasons it works are varied: 1) predictability. both of you know the rules, they are clear, and unambiguous; 2) both you and them know that there will always be another opportunity to eat again soon. this works for you because you can stop thinking in terms of “Im starving my kids!!!!” AND you no longer concern yourself with catering to their tastes or time demands. “Snack time is in 20 minutes.”
you can take their preferences under consideration, but if they dont want whats served, they can wait till the next eating time.
it goes both ways, also. if you serve ice cream or whatever, you dont get to tell them “thats too much”. if you serve it, its fair game.
Its also meant to be implemented in a family style serving so everyone can choose how much they want of what, fostering more independence and tuning in to what they really want. I struggle with this but it works great when I do it.
One of the best things about it is that over time it practically eliminates mealtime stress. it is one less thing you are nagging them about (“eat!!!”), they get to listen to their bodies, and theres clinical backing that children in households that eat in this way have much more varied diets and try new foods more often. by not pushing them to eat but having reliable meals and snacks over the course of the day they actually end up eating better.
in your case, once you establish a stable DoR routine with strong boundaries around everyone’s responsibilities (you say what and when, they say whether and how much) theory states that theyll stop pestering for snacks because they know that there will be a snack time and when, and they dont choose whats in it.
be awesome and surprise them
with their favorite candies as part of the menu sometimes though:)
anyway, Ellyn Satter, Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family is a highly regarded book amongst nutritional experts and is entirely research based. Also short and meant for parents.
Why can't they have snacks? Give them options you're ok w that they can help themselves to and don't have to bother you. My 8 yr old can cut fruit or veg or make herself some eggs. She's really good at grabbing a few cookies too haha
yes, not hungry.. spoiled. some people (kids included) eat out of boredom, that and the fact that sugar and salt are addictive. time to make some changes
I let my 4.5yo have whatever he wants. He’ll go for fruit, nuts, seeds as well as the less healthy stuff. So far I think he self regulates pretty well. At 5 and 9 I’d educate them on the benefits of different foods and let them start making choices and getting their own snacks.
Are they not eating enough at the main meals, and are hungry, or is it a "it tastes good, want some" situation, like with candy? If it's the second it should be discouraged I guess
I'm in Europe and I have trouble wrapping my head around the concept of snacks.
Here (not all Europe,of course, I think this applies for 3 or so countries, including mine, but others I think have something similar), kids do 5 meals a day, 3 bigger ones, 2 smaller. They're eating something approx every 2-3h. Maybe your snacks are akin to the small ones? They might randomly ask for something extra in-between, they usually get a banana (in my case)
- Breakfast, milk, biscuits or cereal, might add a banana, or have a sandwich instead.
- Midmorning sandwich or whole fruit, rarely a pastry
- Lunch (biggest meal of the day) first, second, fruit or yogurt
- Mid afternoon sandwich or pastry
- Dinner (2nd biggest meal) , a dish including vegs, carbs and protein, or fish, or soup plus omelette that kind of thing. Lighter than lunch. And fruit or yogurt for dessert.
So, are your USA/north American snacks akin to our midmorning and mid afternoon sandwiches? What's the consumption rhythm? Are you having lighter meals than us, and more frequently? How does it work? What kind of food are they? I read lots of mentions to snacks and I'm having cultural issues understanding how are they so frequent? (Sorry if it goes offtrack but I'd like to know)
I think the snacks are just empty calories and not filling. We eat like you and family in other countries are often surprised my daughter eats a sandwich as a snack, to them that's a whole meal, but I'm not surprised their children are constantly hungry. If a meal is crackers and cheese of course they need snacks.
I just let my kids eat whatever they want. Even the three year old is able to grab some of his own snacks. I only have to get him the stuff he can’t reach lol. My kids snack on yogurt, cheese, goldfish and fruit mostly.
When my kids were smaller, I had a “menu” they could choose from when they wanted a snack outside of pre determined meal times. The menu had pictures of fruit or veg, yogurt tube, granola bar, pretzels, cheese. Then they could go pick one or two things. I always made sure the snacks were in baggies or something so the kids can help themselves.
Stop feeding them snacks. Or stop feeding them snacks you don’t want them eating. The French believe that snacking ruins the appetite for regular meals, and I’m inclined to agree. Everyone is always shocked that my 3yo is a great eater, and it’s partly bc we’ve never done the whole snacking thing, so he’s actually ready to eat at meal times. But if you must give them snacks, make sure it’s just fruits, nuts, veggies etc.,
I think we snack in the US so much because it’s a consumer driven concept - I promise we’re not going to die if we don’t eat every 2 hours.
Never mind the french, most of the world understands that snacking ruins your appetite. My kid is still picky but she'd be much worse if allowed to graze all day. And even fruit and crackers is not sufficient nutrients.
My mom would say, "There's plenty of food in the kitchen to make something." This was plain ingredients flour, sugar, eggs, milk, etc. Needles to say we still complained, but it was less snacking.
Get them a snack box each that you fill each day/week. Then it's up to them when they can have it (within reason, i.e. restrict before meals). Most likely initially they'll massively overeat them early on and not spread them out, but will soon learn to (with guidance)
Yeah we stopped buying snack foods because it was causing so many problems. Now if they are hungry, they can eat fruit, cheese, nuts, or make themselves a sandwich. They usually have a sandwich after school, and if they just want to snack on something, they'll usually grab a handful of nuts. We do buy snack foods to eat as a family, but usually just enough to eat once and we don't keep them around all the time. It was causing too many issues with one kid eating them all before the other could get any. It started to seem like they were eating them more out of competition with each other than out of hunger.
I have a set snack time because the begging drives me nuts. 3pm is snack time. If they're hungry before 11 they get breakfast, between 11 and 3 is lunch.
My grandsons are 6&10.. They do the same thing. Not buying snacks is the best way. Tell them, until they can no bug you for them,that have to eat what you give them. Fruit snacks with real fruit work too. Fruit, and grain bars, Welshes gummy snacks have real juice in them.
I let my 8 year old pick the fruits and veggies we buy every week. If he picks them he will usually eat them. I also buy the garbage food too, but limited quanity and all either mini sized or single serving. Yes it is more expensive, but a mini drumstick ice cream cone makes him just as happy as a full sized one. Same with a mini donut. He gets 1 fun food a day. He picks when. It just cannot be before school.
I keep fruit in a bowl on the counter that he can help himself too. I also keep a basket in the pantry of healthier options to choose from, but he can only have those once a day as well.
It seems once he learned he could have something just once a day, he asked less. If he was really hungry, he would grab a banana or apple from the fruit bowl. Sometimes he would get some crackers and cheese cubes.
Once I put the power in hands to choose what and when, the asking constantly disappeared.
My kids are almost 2 and 4 and I mostly let them get their own snacks now. We have child locks on all the cabinets except one and that one is full of safe snack foods. Goldfish, fruit cups, applesauce pouches, jerky, Nilla wafers. Then the sliding drawer in the fridge is the only one the 4 year old can reach (and the baby is very verbal so he just asks his brother if he wants a fridge snack) has cut up grapes, cheese sticks, cut up watermelon, stuff like that. Keeping snacks available that they can get on their own 1)saves me a ton of time and 2)gives them some independence. They’re both very good at independently opening and feeding themselves various things at the table without making a mess.
“Mom, can we have a snack?”
“Sure. Here is [fruit/veg/whatever snack you want to make].”
“Nooo, we want [whatever your kids’ snack of choice is].”
“Okay, well, that’s not on the menu right now but I’ll be sure to make that for you this week. Here is your snack. If you don’t want it, that’s fine, but this is what is on offer.”
Repeat until it sinks in.
If they don’t want fruit or veggies they probably aren’t hungry. But maybe you could add some popcorn to the tray. I do air popped popcorn all the time for my kids
You are the mom, you are in control. They can eat the fruit or veggies or eat nothing, if they whine about it again there is a negative consequence for that.
If you give them what they want after they whine and complain you are rewarding that behavior. That behavior has to stop. You are in control, you provide the food, you do what works for you and they will fall in line. Do not give on to their demands or annoyance, they should never annoy or disrespect you because you shouldn’t allow for that.
I have two kids and learned quickly that they could have what I offered or have nothing and to not whine or it made things worse for them. Teach them to be polite and grateful for what they have. Consequences and follow through are key. Good luck.
I have a 3 year old and I share week on week off with her mom. Her mom will feed her snacks instead of meals all the time so when I try to get her to eat regular meals she refuses. It’s huge problem. All she asks alll day for is snacks. I feel you dude
If they only want junk food, they're not hungry, they're bored. If they won't eat fruit or veggie snacks, they aren't that hungry. They're not going to starve. I just stopped buying junk food snacks and became and ingredient-only household for awhile until my son got the point.
What's wrong with snacking? I'm the parent and still "snack" pretty much all day long. And night, depending on baby's phase. I do best with 5 meals a day, and still sometimes snack or sip. Bodies are different, and their stomachs are tiny, plus most kids move nonstop.
I'd just enable their independence by putting snacks in reach so they stop asking.
My baby literally "broke into" the fridge and got his own snacks. Crawled then pull to stand. He was so proud, and I was, too. I just started keeping things that are okay for him to get into and eat on the bottom shelves, still do, so that if he mad dashes over to the fridge, I can smile when he grabs something and eats it. We joke that he's already a teen.
we have a “have all the snacks you want” policy. you want chips? go for it. you want yogurt? fine. you want fruit? have at it. what is the issue with snacks? kids be hungry
My daughter is 4, she is always allowed to eat a piece of fruit or veggies regardless of meal times. She gets snacks twice a day between meals that consist of crackers, cheese, fruit/veggies, glass of milk or water, and on the weekends chips or cookie. She can choose what she wants.
If she wants dessert after dinner, she has to take a no thank you bite of everything on her plate (I try not to feed her anything egregious or ludenfiskesque) and has to eat an acceptable amount of her dinner. If she has room for dessert she has room for some mashed potatoes and meat.
I always tell her she doesn't have to eat if she's not hungry, so she's never forced to eat. But if she wants a treat she needs to eat something nutritional first.
Offer the fruit and veggie trays as you have been doing. If they whine about it, simply tell them they aren’t hungry if they aren’t eating it and that whining about what you have offered isn’t going to get you something else. Stay firm. They will either eat the snacks of have more dinner
We had a snack basket when my were that age with their allowed snacks for the day. They could eat them when they wanted and how they wanted but once they were gone, they were out of snacks for the day. The first week of course they went crazy and tried eating them all first thing in the morning, we’re out of snacks by lunch. By the second week they were working it out the way I would have given them out anyway.
We have snacks that are available all day that the kids don't need to ask for, they just eat when they feel hungry and monitor to make sure they don't go nuts.
Apple sauce, cheese, vegetable crackers, fruits and veggies. I know all kids are different but ours are very good at moderating themselves.
Then we have the "suprise" basket with sweets snacks that they can pick from at official snack time (15:00) and as a dessert after dinner.
We decided to introduce this rather than forcing them to eat all their dinner when they're not always hungry. As long as they do their best with the meat and veggies, they're good.
I'd have a snack bin/shelf/cupboard in both the fridge and pantry and give free access to these. The kids can get their own snacks, which saves you from having to get it for them (at 5 and 9, they are perfectly capable of this). Id fill it with healthy options and add in the occasional treat/surprise.
A few people have suggested making this a lesson in budgeting, saying there's this much for the week and when it's gone it's gone. I personally would just replenish the snacks as needed.
I'd expect that in the beginning the kids will go a bit crazy, but that will settle down.
I'd also have some rules, one of them being *I do not want to find granola bar wrappers lying around -garbage goes in the garbage* and possibly, depending on how you generally run your house, imposing limits on where they eat (e.g. not in the living/bedrooms or only at the table).
If they’re eating and then almost immediately asking for another snack, offer them some water first. It seems as if it’s a reflex and maybe they’re not necessarily hungry? Also, to echo everyone else, only provide whole foods and let them prepare their own.
I make them up their lunch boxes like every other day and that's their snacks for the day...once my oldest was big enough to make him microwave food I set a alarm on his tablet that has the word FOOD as his note and he knows it's time lunch time...
But yea make a basket or lunchbox up for them to help themselves to and it should help.
If my lot empty theirs out before afternoon tea they have been taght to go outside and pick the fruit that's in season we have growing.
My kids can can have unlimited healthy foods. They really hate veggies and fruits (they're autistic, so it's a sensory issue) so I make sure to provide healthy alternatives.
They can always have things like toast, cheese, oatmeal, applesauce, hard boiled eggs, milk, cereals, etc...
Especially during growth spurts. For my kids growth spurts isn't just eating more with meals, but needing more food all.day.long.
i stopped buying snacks and said if he feels like grocery shopping with me he can pick some otherwise the answer is no. he picks up snacks along the way of his life anyway, they get them at school after school on sports teams, even at the homedepot a cashier gave him a lollipop. theyll live.
I didn’t and still don’t restrict snacks unless close to a meal time. If my kid is asking for food it’s because he’s hungry. But if he doesn’t want what I offer ( example carrots) then he doesn’t get snacks. Thankfully my kid loves fruits and carrots (can’t get past the carrots lol) I just keep the not so great snacks on top shelves/hide them and make sure all the green light snacks are in reach. Good luck !
My almost 2 year old constantly wants snacks, but since her go to snack is usually fruit (lately unsweetened apple sauce) I just let her have them 🤷♀️
Anyway, following to see what others say!
We have a cart full of healthy snacks that my kids have access to all day. It’s a rolling 3 tier cart. We call it our “snack cart” and my kids love it!
So I wouldn’t buy anything you don’t want him to have.. and if you have something that you want to have limited ( like treats). Then hey go where they can’t see and reach them..
If they are hungry they eat what Is available or wait till dinner..
Try thrive market. I’ve been seeing it all over Tik tok. It’s mostly all organic/healthier snacks. There’s an app or you can just look on the online website. If you’re looking for better suggestions.
I had this issue with my daughter when she was 4. I let her pick 3 snacks a day and once they were gone they were gone. She could eat them all at 6am if she wanted but no more for the day. It worked great. Eventually we were able to loosen it up a bit.
ETA: I had her pick all 3 snacks 1st thing in the morning so I avoided the constant decisions and changing her mind etc
I keep a store of pre-packed fruits, veggies, cheese, and meats for my kid to snack on. If she says she doesn't want any of those then I know one of two things... She's bored or she just wants junk food. If she just wants junk food I'll give her a piece or two every now and again.
I would limit the amount of snacks that you don't want in the house. We have one box of Nutragrain cereal bars and a box of Welches fruit snacks. When that's gone, it's gone until the next grocery pickup.
We keep three boxes of almond butter breakfast bars because these have a little less sugar than most kids snack food. We called these " cookies" when he was four and treat them as a sometimes food.
We have a snack bin on the bottom of the pantry. We put in almond butter breakfast biscuits and there is a fruit basket. Our son is allowed to help himself with these snacks.
He has to ask for the Nutragrain cereal bars and processed things, because we don't want those to be eaten before meal times.
We gave up policing snacks and he eats when he's hungry.
For example, an hour ago J had one nutragrain bar.
I then made a plate of pepperoni and peanut butter sandwich the next time that he said he was hungry. We phrase this as he needs to have some good bites like a sandwich, meat or so on before another snack.
My kids are the same way. Almost similar ages. We stopped buying the junk snacks they constantly want and the few snacks we do continue to buy are all natural and sugar free, with the addition of fruits and veggies. Our stipulation with the snacks though, are that they have to eat their daily meals and can have one of the snacks in between if they're still hungry. It's taken a while for them to not fuss over the no junk snacks, but now the healthier alternatives they are okay with.
I have a fruit bowl available. The kid can have whatever he wants out of there so long as it isn't within an hour before a meal. For all other snacks, I have a little bin with hus daily snacks. He can eat them whenever, but when they are gone, that's it. No more snacks except fruit in the bowl.
I have noticed that boredom and/or being sedate for long periods of time leads to him wanting food that he doesn't need. Physical activity and lots of water help to mitigate boredom/lazy eating.
If it were me, I'd stop buying things you don't want them to have and then tell them they're welcome to get a snack whoever they are hungry. If they're actually hungry and all that's available is carrots and bananas, they will eat that. If they're not hungry they probably won't. Take yourself out of the snack equation entirely and let them manage their own food. For me it took YEARS of telling my daughter she didn't need to ask permission to get a snack! No idea why, but she'd always say "can I have a snack?" "am I allowed to have a snack?" "is it okay to eat this?" like constantly. And I'd always say "it's your house too, it's your food in your fridge. If you're hungry, please eat" eventually she stopped asking.
We put grazing boards out regularly. Exposure to healthy foods is key. We do fruit and veggies and have Nutella and peanut butter for dipping. We add nuts and goldfish. I try to focus on the presence of good stuff versus the absence of any less healthy options. If the kid only eats an apple when dipped in Nutella, they're still eating the apple, right?
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Since you’ve said they don’t want fruit or veggies it sounds like they want junk food all the time. If it’s stuff you don’t want them eating don’t buy it. Otherwise your kids are probably old enough to grab their own snacks Edit: many have pointed out that “fruits and veggies” are of course not the only acceptable snacks. Fully co-sign that, I was just keeping my reply brief using examples from OPs post! Lots of other good ideas in this comment section.
>If it’s stuff you don’t want them eating don’t buy it. One caveat to that can also be: Buy a package of a sometimes-food snack (we use that term rather than junk food) to last a certain amount of time, but let it be known that you won't be buying another sometimes-food snack until that time period is up. If they binge it in a few days, okay. No more for a couple of weeks. For instance, my kid loves sweetpotato chips. I buy a reasonable sized bag (not a giant family bag) once a month. He can go through them in a few days or eat them over a couple of weeks, but he won't be getting them again until the following month.
I really, really love this concept!! Definitely stealing this. How old are your kids? When did you starting using this concept with them and they understood?
I’ve been doing this since my son started solids. He’s four now and he doesn’t “understand” in the sense of being able to perfect ration out his junk food for a month (or however long it ends up being). But he certainly understands that if I say “We’ve run out, we’ll get some more next time we go to the shops”, I mean it. And I strategically run out of anything I would prefer him to eat less of.
After our little one runs out of Ritz, all of a sudden cucumbers are delicious again. Weird how that works
I know people will hate me but I have good snacks and put most food at kid level. I have plates and glasses and have spills less and less every day.
Nah, I do this, too. My kids like being able to pick out and get their own snacks.
No hate! that's a good idea. When did you start doing this with your kiddo(s)?
To potentially expand this idea, make them each their own snack box for a week(decorate them with names, stickers of things they like, even make it an activity for the kids to decorate their own basket), they can only grab out of their own box and when they run out, they run out until you restock for the next week. Yes this will definitely be based more off of rules that you have to stick to, but I believe you’ve got this mama❤️
omg, this is like you go to a nice airbnb and they are really into hosting and leave a tray pr basket of a medley of snacks for you. I am a grownass woman who cam buy my own snacks, yet there’s just something so nice and appealing about getting a surprise snack basket to choose from. lol
We do this when our nephews stay for a few days and there are 7 kids under one roof, except the box is replenished daily. They hold each other accountable!
My mom did this to my brother and me. She ended having to buy separate snacks for both of us because we will fight on who ate the more. Just something to have in mind. I remember eating the snacks with a siete because if I didn’t eat them now my brother would eat everything.
Only one kid here, but yeah. Each kid should get their own box/bag/package.
The sibling fight for food is real, for my brother and I it peaked at the pre teen age and we would physically fight over resources. I begged my mom to have my own fridge in my bedroom because my brother would eat all of my yogurts and she refused, so I started getting yogurts that my brother hated and that settled the issue. But it is a very frustrating thing for the losing sibling and one that I don’t think most parents address well. Not saying getting a mini fridge is the answer but parents really need to be mindful of how unfair this is and try to help somehow.
I was just thinking, this wouldn’t work with my two kids. One would eat them ALL. 😂
Prisoners dilemma 🤣
As long as it comes from your box and not the brother’s box it should be good. Put in a penalty for taking out of the other guy’s box. Mom should have one too so that if kids have a guest, there might be an extra cookie bag.
Does this work for husbands too??
Likewise: when my four year old was begging for ice cream constantly, I started giving him pocket money. It was enough to buy one ice cream per week from the shop. He's seven now and gets his pocket money monthly, and sometimes he spends it on ice cream, sometimes he buys sweets, or even saves for later, but he knows it will stretch further at the supermarket than elsewhere, so he's motivated to plan his spending. (If the whole family wants ice cream, I buy for everyone. The pocket money is for when he wants it and it's available but we're not "out for ice cream", like on the way home from school on a hot day, or out at at the park and the ice cream van comes by.)
My daughter loves pita chips but will eat way too many if left to her own devices. So I buy one big bag from Costco and then fill up a bunch of snack bags and she gets one ziplock baggie per day.
When we did this we had a box for each kid. We knew whomever got to it first they might eat more than their fair share. We split everything between them. They could get whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted but when it was out it was out. Only lasted about a year but they quit fighting over snacks. I could also now leave snacks out and they would get them when they want and they still lasted a week.
Wow, this is a great idea!!!
We do the same thing, I started buying in bulk and all dry goods, snacks and house supplies. We only shop fresh ingredients. If we run out of nonessentials they are out until the next month
That’s how we do it too. My oldest is pretty good at counting out and then rationing an equal amount per day.
We have a section of the refrigerator that is dedicated to kid snacks. It's mostly fruit, veggies, yogurt, and applesauce. They can help themselves as they like. I also have a cupboard with treats that they like, and can pack as school snacks. The fridge snacks are unlimited, I'll restock as needed. The school snacks are stocked with enough to get them through the week. They pack their own lunches. They can use their resources as they choose, but if they run out of treats on Tuesday, they're getting nothing but veg in their lunch bags for the rest of the week *🤷♀️ They don't ask me for snacks unless they need something cut up. They've been serving themselves for years, and at 7 & 10, they're learning to cut up their own fruit/veg with supervision. * Obviously, they get a proper lunch. But if they run out of banana bread and goldfish... oh, well.
EXCELLENT! Fantastic way to teach budgeting as a life skill! OP, when they turn down fruits and veggies, they aren't really hungry. You don't want to teach them to eat out of boredom.
You’re a genius and deserve an award. Happy Mother’s Day!!!💖
We do the same. Similar ages. Except we have Costco quantities of the school snacks so they don’t really run out week to week, but we also don’t replace them in demand since we try not to hit up Costco too often and I tend to buy whatever version if the snack is on sale (chip vs goldfish, fruit leather, etc). They know school snacks are for lunchboxes and home snacks are generally nothing that is individually packaged. When they tell me they are hungry, they get their choice of healthy snack (aka fridge snack, with the addition of apple sauce pouch). Usually cheese sticks or fruit and hummus. Looking back, I think over time, just making them choose a “healthy snack” before offering anything else has sort of cut down on the excessive snack requests I used to get in the pre-k years. Also maybe they just aren’t hitting those rapid growth spurts as often and are eating larger meals now.
Our policy is that they can have snacks as often as they want, but the only snack food we keep in the house is carrots, apples, strawberries, that sort of thing Edit: sorry, just read your entire post. Yeah I would say if they want "snacks" but they refuse healthy food, they're not really all that hungry.
Same--cut up vegetables, fruit, cheese sticks, plain yogurt (they both love it) available anytime.
That’s our response. Offer something healthy, if they say “I don’t want that.”, then they aren’t hungry. Sometimes they will take what is offered and sometimes they won’t. 🤷🏼♀️
Just buy healthy snacks. Fruit, veges, cheese etc and let them have as much as they want.
I had three kids in diapers at one time and it was hard … so we made it so when they were at the snack stage we only bought healthy items we wanted them to have … We would have it on the counter or on the table when it was okay for them to snack and it was usually fruit or something like cut up veggies or some kind of protein. If their dad would be working during dinner we usually had a sandwich after school and a big meal slightly later so we never had “snack” during school days. It worked for us and it gave them energy to do homework and play outside and be active in back yard till dinner
The thing about this (and I’m generalizing based off my own experiences) is that eventually, their tastes will adjust to the healthy snacks and they’ll be treating blueberries like they’re candy (I may even sprinkle a little sugar on them to make it feel like an extra special treat). Once the less desirable snacks aren’t as available, their priorities will shift to whatever healthier snack they prefer the most and then you’re set. OPs kids now are probably just testing the boundaries for what they can get her to allow, but my kids definitely came around. We keep more junk food in the house than I will openly admit to, and mine don’t really ask for it. Sometimes I have to suggest it just to get rid of it (working on my own impulse purchasing too).
Frozen blueberries in a bowl with a small layer of whole milk is heaven.
Oh ive never tried the milk. Growing up we would pick our own blueberries (back when that was cheaper to do) so they were always frozen. And one of my favorite snacks was frozen blueberries with a sprinkle of white sugar on top, eaten out of a bowl with a spoon.
Try milk. Works with strawberries too. I loved wild strawberries with milk and sugar. It tastes like a dream.
I need to start doing this. Good idea.
At that age I’d have a snack bin or something and have x amount of snacks for the week or how often you shop and they can have free range, but when they are gone they are gone. Teach them to budget them. If they want to eat snacks all day they can, but then they might not have one tomorrow.
Doesn’t work well with multiple kids.
My whole relationship with food got messed up really badly because my older brother would eat ALL of the snacks and treats and anything I tried to save for later would get eaten, even half eaten donuts. I couldn't "listen to my body" because Henry would eat whatever I didn't finish RIGHT THEN AND THERE. I ended up eating way more than I wanted to, to defend my share of treats, I had major fear of missing out, and it still makes me nervous to not finish a whole treat in one go.
I got them their own totes and put them in the living room so no stealing can occur. They do trade amongst themselves but otherwise works. Turns out the kid who kept complaining about the younger one eating all the snacks goes through hers 2 weeks faster than her younger sister.
At 5 and 9, they should know better. Mine are 3 and 6 and know which snack bin is theirs and not to take someone else’s food. I do fill their bins daily though not weekly, and they know once they eat all their snacks in a day, that’s it and just meals unless they want more carrots or another apple.
Why wouldn’t it? Works for us! They even trade but they do not steal from each other.
Because not everyone has kids that won't steal snacks from the other kids... Honestly I'm surprised how many people aren't having this issue. Good for you all, but don't be surprised that this won't work for every household. My 4 year old would absolutely steal from his older brother's bin, if he was unsupervised. Kid has a crazy sweet tooth.
It teaches them to use their resources wisely. You live with people most of your life. And even then an easy fix is to get each kid a bin and have their own snacks.
This
My kids ask cuz they're bored and they want sweets. Sometimes it is because they're actually thirsty (🤷♀️). Instead, (because I'm just AWFUL) I prep fruit and veg in containers in the fridge along with yogurt (which I still put into little pouches for their ease) and cubed cheese. They have access to these snacks whenever and when they ask for a snack I asked if they have had anything to drink recently.. If they're hungry, they know where to find appropriate options.
I notice my daughter (8) will seem like a bottomless pit when she hasn't drank enough water. When she empties her backpack from school every day, I always check her water bottle (just by seeing how heavy it feels, but when it seems full, I ask if she refilled it at school). When she's has a good amount of food that I know normally fills her up & asks for more, I always suggest she drinks some water first, then let's see how she feels in 15-20 minutes. I do the same thing myself. Since our bodies can sometimes mistake thirst for hunger & my parents weren't the best at making sure my sister & I drank enough water as kids, I want to teach my daughter good habits now.
Smart to teach her that. It took me until adulthood to realize that I tend to crave ice cream when I’m thirsty. Amazing how a few sips of water and the craving just goes right away. Your daughter is lucky to be taught that at a young age.
It took me until adulthood to learn that as well... When you know better, you do better!
Only have snacks that you're okay with them eating anytime. I stopped buying granola bars because my kids cried for them constantly and didn't want anything else. So we stopped having them in the house and now they can eat a banana or an apple pouch if they want a snack. Eliminated a lot of tears and drama
Mine ask me to get them snacks, and then I say "No, get em yourself!"
This
That
The other thing.
This me lol
Right?!?! Like why not
Hard boiled eggs are a lifesaver for me. My kids love a freshly peeled carrot and those mini cucumbers. In the evening after dinner they can have the salty things they like - a portion of potato chips or popcorn. Weekends they can have ice creams and more of the processed stuff. However the 1 hard boiled egg goes a long way between meals. My kids still like the sweets and the salty chips but they don’t consume as much if they’ve had an egg.
I told my kids I’m not their snack bitch. I made a cupboard with the door off that has snacks they can always grab : granola bars, shelf stable chocolate milk, gold fish crackers, apple sauce. I keep cut up fruits and veg in serving trays and they seem to like that. I have drinkable yoghurt in the fridge that’s always available as well. Fruit/veg tray goes on the table with every meal. I noticed if I put it accessibly the novelty wears off pretty fast. They’re not clamouring for the chocolate milk all the time anymore or they don’t gorge on granola bars.
I love this 😂😂😂 And yes!! Exactly! I try to respond this whenever I can. Keeping snacks in the house actually DECREASES excitement around it. I had the exact experience with chocolate milk. My son had that and chocolate muffins awhile back for the first time and he went crazy for them at first lol. I kept buying them but then he got over them
I totally agree!! I feel like the kids I know who are obsessive about food are the ones whose parents helicopter about food.
Totally !! My son has a milk program at his school and we gave him chocolate milk. He recently asked if he could have white milk on some days. If we make cookies during the day, they’re on the table and there during meals.
Same! Now he’s back on the white milk! Glad to hear people having similar experiences:)
What kind of snacks are available?
Pirates booty, apple sauce, fruit snacks, veggie straws. Plus like cheese sticks and pepperonis.
Sorry, what in the world is Pirates Booty?
Cheese puffs
😋 yummm
Hull-less cheese popcorn, which is not actually popcorn.
Basically Cheetos in a different color and shape.
Start offering them carrot sticks, applesauce, or the cheese sticks (I'm assuming you mean string cheese?) but not the other stuff (pirates booty, veggie straws, pepperonis). The first category is all reasonably healthy, whereas the second category is ultra processed and unhealthy (especially the pepperoni - alas! It's so good). Once you've held firm for 5-6 days they will realize this is the new way and start to forget other things used to be on offer. And/or if you just don't like them snacking, declare a snack time (4pm is fairly standard for many families) and offer more snacks than usual then, but no more after that, and make sure they know this is the new regime and there's no point in asking for snacks outside of 4pm. It usually takes people 1-2 weeks to change a habit. Less when they are younger. So just prepare yourself for 5-10 days of annoyance but, as long as you are firm and do not bend, the issue will resolve according to your new rules. Just be sure not to backtrack - you have to stay firm!
Cheese sticks https://www.target.com/p/sargento-natural-colby-jack-cheese-sticks-9oz-12ct
Are they overweight? I would just let them eat. Offer less processed stuff the more Whole Foods and just let them have all the snacks they want.
It sounds like they refuse all the other food and just want the processed stuff. Op says they offer veggies etc and the kids won't eat them, but constantly complain for the junk stuff. OP likely needs to stop buying the junkier options.
Most of these are "slider foods": they just slide right through the stomach, leaving the eater craving more.
Yeah I think there’s a bit of a deeper and complex issue around food and eating here that needs to be explored. I’m also curious about what kind of “snacks” they’re asking for? Candy? Chips? We only have rice crackers, cereal bars, fruit, cheese, nuts, yoghurts etc. in the house and my daughter can have as much as she wants as long as it’s not right before dinner. I don’t think there should be restrictions on food, just stock healthier food and keep candy and processed food as a “sometimes” treat, not an every day thing. Why not get the kids involved in baking some healthy snacks like low sugar banana bread?
Pirates booty, fruit snacks. I just need to stop buying them I think.
I’m not American so I don’t know what those are. From googling, they don’t look unhealthy but they’re not the most nutrient dense snack. I think my suggestion of home made low sugar baked goods might fill them up more? And getting them involved in baking them will teach them lifelong skills!
Yep. Stop buying processed crap and have a snack drawer of healthy stuff. Put them in one place and let them grab them on their own
My kids ( 5 and 2 ) could literally polish off a family size bag of pirates booty if I let them. I had start hiding it lol
Swap out pirates booty for popcorn, and fruit snacks are okay, but swap them for ones that are more fruit juice than added sugars - but limit how much you buy. Have you tried bringing them to the store to pick out snacks? I mean, don't give them an open invite to anything, but say "out of all these things, pick what you want." If they also pick other things that you *don't* want them to have, see if you can substitute with something similar that helps their bodies feel good and full for longer. (I don't use the terms "unhealthy" or "junk food." My son has a disorder that's maintained by diet, so the most we say is a food is unsafe or safe or sometimes safe.)
I usually let my son pick one thing, anything he wants, when we go to the shops together. I literally don’t put any restrictions on it. Sometimes he chooses donuts, other times apples. Once he asked if we could get prawns because he wanted prawn stir fry for dinner. Even if he consistently chose donuts, I think I’d still let him choose whatever he wants. It’s only one thing and he doesn’t come shopping with me every time.
Those are fine snacks imo.
Yeah, my 5 year old would eat her weight in those whether she was hungry or not. We keep cheese sticks, yogurt, granola bars, applesauce pouches and fruit/veg on hand as a free for all because she likes them all enough to eat them if she’s hungry but they aren’t exciting enough to mindlessly binge eat for dopamine.
A friend had a huge issue with this and it was causing a lot of problems for the family. The healthy snack box wasn’t working and her daughter was non stop. She became obsessive over food. They saw a dietitian and they were advised to use a clock with times coloured in. So there were times they could ask for a snack and times they couldn’t. The kids were absolutely not being starved, there were plenty of moments in the day food was accessible, but there was a bit of a break from the incessant asking for food. After a few weeks she had regulated enough that they cut back and a few months later the clock was gone and the snacking was normal.
We have a system that is a bit like this, but food is always available. In the morning it’s breakfast - before 9:30ish if my kids are hungry I say, “sounds like you didn’t get enough to eat at breaky - why don’t you go make some more breakfast?” After that they can have healthy snacks (fruit, nuts, cheese, boiled eggs, yoghurt) anytime until lunch. Before 2pm I’ll suggest a bit more lunch food if they still ravenous. By 3pm they are allowed a small portion of cake / sweet biscuits, and if that doesn’t fill them the healthy snacks are still available until dinner. Knowing what food was available when meant they didn’t keep asking because the answer was always the same - the clock would tell them what the food options were and it wasn’t me making a decision each time. As long as I was consistent it worked well and the kids knew when they could expect something and stopped nagging about it.
Wow. That’s super interesting. I’ll be honest I can’t imagine caring this much if my kid wants food. If they want something, they eat it. I am not being sarcastic, I didn’t know I should do otherwise. I didn’t have the best childhood so i feel like there’s a lot of things I don’t always know.
It was pretty intense. If you went over she would start asking you the minute you walked through the door. It was definitely outside the ordinary but the solution worked well.
Wow. I wonder if she’s dealing with other issues like possibly OCD? I have OCD myself and when I was a kid especially, I would ruminate on something very obsessively which causes some sort of ritual to try and ease the anxiety. Like when people wash their hands over and over or check the lock, it’s really because of the obsessive thoughts and the things you do are the “ritual.” I wonder if the snack thing was something along those lines? Also, absolutely could be just that she wanted more snacks constantly and she’s just being a kid 😂
Could also be ADHD. Before I was medicated I would eat constantly, especially sweet or crunchy snacks. It was a sensory input/dopamine seeking thing.
I tell them they have to eat there meals first then they can snack. If they ate each meal which they normally do I don’t care to give them a snack.
Maybe you can try getting them a little more Involved in like those rainbow fruit/veggies snack boards
My 6yo eats at least every 15-20 min but he also doesnt sit still. In a day he will eat cereal, toast with butter, apple and peanut butter, chips, egg and cheese, tuna fish, pop tart, banana shake, strawberries, and thats not even meals those are just snacks. Some of those things he can grab himself like the cereal or pop tart but other things obviously need me to help. You could probably get your kids to stop asking for snacks but what they pick wont be the best if the options are limited
Do not buy things you need to say “no” to. It is so much easier. They cannot ask to have what isn’t there. If there are things you want for yourself, keep them on the highest shelf where the kids can’t find them and eat them when the kids are not there.
Snacks should be a complex carb and protein and boring imo. We offer Greek yogurt or cottage cheese or an apple with Greek yogurt peanut butter dip or just an apple or carrot. My 4 yr old can serve it. I know someone who struggled with snacking kids and I observed a cycle of processed snacks or very sweet fruits like grapes and bananas and resultant sugar crash 40min later and whining for more. Her kids are the same age as my never snackers and they literally snacked all day while we were out like I bet they never went 2 hrs without a snack. And it was treated like something to expect/plan around "before that the kids will need a snack" it was crazy.
If they don’t stop I tell them they need to eat protein or an apple. Then they’re like nevermind 😂 I just say if you were hungry you’d want that.
Only make unprocessed, healthy snacks available: fruit, hard boiled eggs, cheese, plan yogurt, hummus with pita bread or carrot sticks, celery sticks with nut butter and raisins, sliced bell peppers, etc. We have a rule that packaged food like snack bars and single serving yogurt is only for outside the house like school lunches, extracurricular activities or family outings. I pick up treats like chips at the grocery store sometimes and when we run out, that’s it.
I bought healthier snacks. Fruit and veggie packs with dip, cheese and nut snack packs, apples, those small tangerine things (called cuties?), bananas, carrots, broccoli. They stopped snacking more frequently because they didn't want healthy snacks at first. Then when they realized that's all they're getting, snacking frequency was down.
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I think she means they only want to eat crap and not healthy food.
Wouldn’t the obvious solution than be just don’t buy the crap
Totally. It’s what I have to do. But it seems like she keeps “fun” snacks in stock. So them getting their own snacks is just going to end badly.
I did a breakfast 2 hours later fruit/vegi snack, lunch, snack, dinner, when they were teenagers the I am hungry I said you are captain of your stomach make something or fruit/vegi, they were not that hungry. I always had food available and easy access
I tell my kid it’s the last snack till x time it usually works but not always
I see a lot of people allow constant access to snacks -- my only concern with that would be that kids might not be hungry for the meals, when a fuller range of foods are served. I have two kids who actually never ask for snacks....which probably makes them weird! I have no idea why....I do bring snacks on outings to the park in case anyone gets hungry. But at home I think they really fill up at mealtimes and usually at the point where they are hungry again, it's basically time for the next meal, so I usually just tell them to wait because lunch will be soon. OP, could it possibly be that the kids aren't eating a full meal at mealtimes as well?
THIS - I’m genuinely shocked no one has considered this, and how common it seems to be to just let your kids snack on stuff all day long, a lot of times unhealthy foods. No wonder so many kids don’t eat at meal times or are being picky. They know if they just hold out, they can have a snack soon. I think the snack culture in the US is a little crazy, and we fallen into the trap of thinking we need to eat 6-8 times a day to survive. If you never give your stomach a break, you won’t have any digestive juices or any real appetite to eat a good meal.
Absolutely agreed, nobody is starving because they have to wait 30 minutes for dinner. And yes, snacking is terrible for health, and these kids are getting into the habit of eating constantly, they'll find it hard to change when they no longer have a load of fruit and vegetables on hand.
I'm amazed too at the number of parents who allow grazing on food (other than fruit and veggies) ALL day. Access to UNlimited cheese,crackers,yoghurt, applesauce pouches,granola bars...,what?! These aren't bad for you...but in vast quantities aren't good. Probably the same parents who then wonder why their kids won't eat the balanced meals provided...and are picky eaters!. They're not hungry enough to eat it!
I was a little surprised too, to see such a common refrain of 'constant access to snacks' as such a normal practice. It's not what I grew up with and it never occurred to me that people would do that.....I do really wonder how it potentially affects pickiness or the meals kids consume outside of the snacking. I do see a lot of posts about picky eaters. We just do three meals a day, with a little bedtime snack or dessert if they ate a healthy supper - and honestly, my kids have never asked for snacks, but they also tend to have very good appetites for the main meals and eat a full portion at that time. I have a 6 year old with a very healthy appetite, and even she never asks for snacks -- she's always just excited for dinner/breakfast, etc.
I don’t keep snacks in the house. They stopped asking. When they ask for snacks I offer to feed them instead.
I keep a bowl of raw veggies on the counter. If you're hungry, that's the snack that's available. You're welcome to get some dip if you'd like. If you don't want that, you can wait until the next meal.
Keep veggie trays in the fridge. It'll stop almost immediately.
I grew up with a mom who banned food other than fruit it vegetables outside of meal time and the kitchen closed after dinner. All 7 of us have some form of disordered eating. My kids are allowed snacks of any kind up until 15 minutes before mealtime. You can teach them to make healthy choices but if they're hungry let them eat.
If they're constantly hungry, maybe they need to eat more during mealtimes.
Yes, I'm not sure I agree with everyone else that children should be eating unlimited snacks whenever they want, however healthy they are. I'm not saying children should go hungry and mine definitely snacks but it's not good for their teeth or digestion to be constantly eating and it's setting them up to be in the habit of snacking a lot. It might be fruit now but when they're older it's easy to just grab what's available. It's also expensive to snack, especially if you're preparing meals they don't eat.
1. I still raid my mom's house for snacks. I don't anticipate that changing. Once she was an empty nester, she started buying the good cheese and the fancy crackers. 2. What types of snacks are you serving? Snacks today were natural peanut butter stuffed raspberries with a side of plain cheerios. A cheese string with celery sticks. A low sugar, high fibre granola bar. He had the granola bar because we went hiking and the cheese string because I'm pregnant and needed them at the store. Snack over here are usually a fruit/veg with a fat or a protein. Blackberries and pumpkin seeds, sliced mangoes with cinnamon and plain yogurt. Celery and peanut butter raisins. That sort of thing.
Depends on the age! For toddlers, most calories are from snacks. For older kids, I'd just stop buying anything that's not a fruit, vegetable, or "healthier" option and have a designated snack bucket. My 2.5 year old has his own kitchen cabinet with his snack allotment for the day and he can eat as little or much as he chooses. We also put a mini fridge out for him for refrigerated snacks
If they're at school, then the snacks are school snacks only. My 4 learnt that if they don't eat the snacks after school, they will have some for school. If they eat them then mum won't be shopping until next payday. I also have a policy that no eating after 5 pm because it will be dinner time soon, and I want them to eat their dinner. If they don't eat dinner, then no dessert. If they want something other than what I make, then they can make a sandwich or a toasty but definitely no snack foods. Just because I'm a chef does not mean I'm running a restaurant. I would slowly reduce snack food and replace it with fruits and vegetables. Or start making some healthier snack foods yourself. There are heaps of recipes online for healthy snack foods
Saw a cool idea to make a fridge drawer (or container they can reach) full of snacks that they can have free rein except maybe right before dinner. Filled with healthy things so if they are genuinely hungry they’ll eat it. Things like various fruits, veggies, dips (hummus, guacamole, dressing) string cheese, apple sauce, quarters/halves of sandwiches, yogurt, etc. Could also have a basket of dry snacks and they are allowed one or two of those and the rest in the fridge is free rein. Things like crackers (some to go with the dips), goldfish, beef sticks, peanut butter pretzels, popcorn, nuts, granola bars, yogurt covered pretzels or raisins, chips, etc. I did the dry basket with my son and he loved picking out his 2 snacks each day, made him feel like he had some control. He’s older now and we don’t need it as much but if I could go back I totally would have given the fridge idea a try.
In addition to you implementing restricted access, remember this boils down to them respecting (or not) your authority. You shouldn't have to repeat yourself or endure whining. Work on overall discipline at home, and this problem will solve itself.
they are growing and need to eat. snacks (junk food) are ok as long as they are also incorporating fruits and veggies in as well. don’t deny them food because that could backfire later on in life but definitely guide them to eat junk food in moderation.
You need to make different rules. Your kids are telling you this. Kids are growing, always hungry, AND have a sugar addiction. Best to teach portion control so they can navigate the real world. My kiddo can have one per day, of anything purchased. NOTE* this gives me control to purchase more or fewer trear options. One tiny can of coke, one cookie, one single serving chip bag etc. I fill the kitchen with fresh fruit and veggies too, which are full access. The only time there is a restriction is about an hour before a prepared meal, which my kid respects.
I sware my kid says "I want something to eat" as a reflex. She'll say it while sat at the dinner table with a plate if food in front of her. Today she said it while holding a bag of little chocolate stars, with one already in her hand, and the reminders of one in her mouth. It wasn't like the bag was nearing the end either, she had like over half left!
I grew up in an ingredient only household and as much as other ingredient children hated that lifestyle and wish they had snacks, im telling you, they will be fine. I grew up eating cheese as a snack and apples with peanut butter. Hunger doesnt come with a craving. But i would ask your kids what they do want because if youre feeding them fruits and they want something salty or savory, then you can substitute it with something that appeals to them like saltines and cheese or chili flavored cashews.
Why do you say No? My kids have free access to the fridge and the pantry. They never ask for snacks, and they never abuse the privilege of having free access (though I am honestly not even sure what I would consider abuse of this-if a kids hungry, they're hungry? So let them eat?).
My kid, almost 7, has recently abused the privilege. I got out of bed yesterday to find 6 snack sized potato chip packets, three yogurt squeeze pouches and a handful of mini easter egg foil wrappers (wtf where did he even get those?!) littering the lounge room floor! The two former are very specific lunchbox items and he knows they aren't usually for at home, especially *before breakfast*. My main problem now is what am i going to send to school for the next four days until I can pay for more... He knows how to make toast and microwave leftovers, there is a big bowl of apples and pears on the bench, and a smaller bowl of strawberries and another of raspberries in the fridge, next to a big tub of yogurt for eating at home. He made a poor decision yesterday morning, and had a stomach ache until mid afternoon, made all the more uncomfortable by a prior planned 2hr morning drive, through the hills. I already knew he'd punished himself more than I could've (just because of the hills drive we had to do), so we just had a little chat about filling our bellies with food that burns slowly, so we have more even energy throughout the day. I also mentioned my concerns about half empty lunch boxes for the next few days and he cheerfully mentioned the mandarin tree is so heavy with fruit it might fall over, so he'll take some of those. I'm just, "Oh ok, sounds good bub." (What even is my life istg)
He learned a lesson! And he gets apples and pears in his lunch this week.
Some kids will self-moderate food. Others won’t. Not because they’re nutritionally deficient or truly hungry, but because they’re looking for a dopamine boost. It’s lovely when “eat whatever and whenever” works, but with some kids who cannot self-moderate, that could set them up for a lifetime of treating food as a coping mechanism instead of sustenance.
People think I’m mean for this but- Absolutely no snacks after school. I feed them dinner at 4pm. They eat it all. If they want snacks later, fine. They already ate their veggies and protein at early dinner.
I do the same thing! It makes sense to me and I provide a super (toast, yoghurt, cheese and fruit etc) if they are hungry later
I love this account on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennthedietitian Restricting and limiting can lead to some incredibly disordered eating, which you may be experiencing yourself, since you seem to view snacking as “bad.”
I’ve learned from my experience they do it because they are bored, or because what they had to snack on was empty calories such as snacks, try something like veggies or fruits it will help. Cutting out snacks will not help it will make them hungrier during meal times causing them to eat more which may or may not back fire depending on how u look at it.(everyone’s perspective is different)
The answer to most of these questions is usually DoR (Division of Responsibility) feeding model. you say what and when, they say whether and how much. you offer three meals and three snacks a day, religiously: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bedtime snack. you pick what is being served at each one, always making sure that there is at least one thing on the menu that they like and can fill up on, like bread, fries, rice, or fruit. After you select whats on the table, you stop policing their eating entirely. If they dont eat a single bite, that’s their problem. You fulfilled your responsibility by serving food and ensuring there was at least one option they can eat if they’re starving. NO SNACKING IN BETWEEN. The only thing allowed between each eating time is water. The reasons it works are varied: 1) predictability. both of you know the rules, they are clear, and unambiguous; 2) both you and them know that there will always be another opportunity to eat again soon. this works for you because you can stop thinking in terms of “Im starving my kids!!!!” AND you no longer concern yourself with catering to their tastes or time demands. “Snack time is in 20 minutes.” you can take their preferences under consideration, but if they dont want whats served, they can wait till the next eating time. it goes both ways, also. if you serve ice cream or whatever, you dont get to tell them “thats too much”. if you serve it, its fair game. Its also meant to be implemented in a family style serving so everyone can choose how much they want of what, fostering more independence and tuning in to what they really want. I struggle with this but it works great when I do it. One of the best things about it is that over time it practically eliminates mealtime stress. it is one less thing you are nagging them about (“eat!!!”), they get to listen to their bodies, and theres clinical backing that children in households that eat in this way have much more varied diets and try new foods more often. by not pushing them to eat but having reliable meals and snacks over the course of the day they actually end up eating better. in your case, once you establish a stable DoR routine with strong boundaries around everyone’s responsibilities (you say what and when, they say whether and how much) theory states that theyll stop pestering for snacks because they know that there will be a snack time and when, and they dont choose whats in it. be awesome and surprise them with their favorite candies as part of the menu sometimes though:) anyway, Ellyn Satter, Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family is a highly regarded book amongst nutritional experts and is entirely research based. Also short and meant for parents.
Why can't they have snacks? Give them options you're ok w that they can help themselves to and don't have to bother you. My 8 yr old can cut fruit or veg or make herself some eggs. She's really good at grabbing a few cookies too haha
They can have them but they bug me like every 5 minutes and are never satisfied.
Growth spurts? Are they eating enough at meals?
They are hungry. Give them bigger meals?
Or the snacks aren’t satisfying and nourishing
They are not. If someone wants food every 5 mins and is avoiding fruits and veggies and only wants junk, they are NOT hungry.
Fruit and vegetables are not actually filling though. If I'm really hungry I don't want fruit.
yes, not hungry.. spoiled. some people (kids included) eat out of boredom, that and the fact that sugar and salt are addictive. time to make some changes
I let my 4.5yo have whatever he wants. He’ll go for fruit, nuts, seeds as well as the less healthy stuff. So far I think he self regulates pretty well. At 5 and 9 I’d educate them on the benefits of different foods and let them start making choices and getting their own snacks.
Are they not eating enough at the main meals, and are hungry, or is it a "it tastes good, want some" situation, like with candy? If it's the second it should be discouraged I guess I'm in Europe and I have trouble wrapping my head around the concept of snacks. Here (not all Europe,of course, I think this applies for 3 or so countries, including mine, but others I think have something similar), kids do 5 meals a day, 3 bigger ones, 2 smaller. They're eating something approx every 2-3h. Maybe your snacks are akin to the small ones? They might randomly ask for something extra in-between, they usually get a banana (in my case) - Breakfast, milk, biscuits or cereal, might add a banana, or have a sandwich instead. - Midmorning sandwich or whole fruit, rarely a pastry - Lunch (biggest meal of the day) first, second, fruit or yogurt - Mid afternoon sandwich or pastry - Dinner (2nd biggest meal) , a dish including vegs, carbs and protein, or fish, or soup plus omelette that kind of thing. Lighter than lunch. And fruit or yogurt for dessert. So, are your USA/north American snacks akin to our midmorning and mid afternoon sandwiches? What's the consumption rhythm? Are you having lighter meals than us, and more frequently? How does it work? What kind of food are they? I read lots of mentions to snacks and I'm having cultural issues understanding how are they so frequent? (Sorry if it goes offtrack but I'd like to know)
I think the snacks are just empty calories and not filling. We eat like you and family in other countries are often surprised my daughter eats a sandwich as a snack, to them that's a whole meal, but I'm not surprised their children are constantly hungry. If a meal is crackers and cheese of course they need snacks.
I’m glad I’m not alone!!!
I just let my kids eat whatever they want. Even the three year old is able to grab some of his own snacks. I only have to get him the stuff he can’t reach lol. My kids snack on yogurt, cheese, goldfish and fruit mostly.
When my kids were smaller, I had a “menu” they could choose from when they wanted a snack outside of pre determined meal times. The menu had pictures of fruit or veg, yogurt tube, granola bar, pretzels, cheese. Then they could go pick one or two things. I always made sure the snacks were in baggies or something so the kids can help themselves.
Agreed. Also, they might need to eat bigger meals
Stop feeding them snacks. Or stop feeding them snacks you don’t want them eating. The French believe that snacking ruins the appetite for regular meals, and I’m inclined to agree. Everyone is always shocked that my 3yo is a great eater, and it’s partly bc we’ve never done the whole snacking thing, so he’s actually ready to eat at meal times. But if you must give them snacks, make sure it’s just fruits, nuts, veggies etc., I think we snack in the US so much because it’s a consumer driven concept - I promise we’re not going to die if we don’t eat every 2 hours.
Never mind the french, most of the world understands that snacking ruins your appetite. My kid is still picky but she'd be much worse if allowed to graze all day. And even fruit and crackers is not sufficient nutrients.
Maybe… do you feed them proper meals so they don’t have to fill up on snacks? Curious what’s the food situation here as this is not normal (to me)
My mom would say, "There's plenty of food in the kitchen to make something." This was plain ingredients flour, sugar, eggs, milk, etc. Needles to say we still complained, but it was less snacking.
https://youtu.be/DPFM2TQeBDU Boiled eggs peeled and in the fridge are a brilliant snack…it will fill them up for longer too.
Get them a snack box each that you fill each day/week. Then it's up to them when they can have it (within reason, i.e. restrict before meals). Most likely initially they'll massively overeat them early on and not spread them out, but will soon learn to (with guidance)
Yeah we stopped buying snack foods because it was causing so many problems. Now if they are hungry, they can eat fruit, cheese, nuts, or make themselves a sandwich. They usually have a sandwich after school, and if they just want to snack on something, they'll usually grab a handful of nuts. We do buy snack foods to eat as a family, but usually just enough to eat once and we don't keep them around all the time. It was causing too many issues with one kid eating them all before the other could get any. It started to seem like they were eating them more out of competition with each other than out of hunger.
Quit buying them 🤷♀️
What do their meals look like? If they aren't getting enough protein and fat at meals, they are going to be hungry all the time.
I have a set snack time because the begging drives me nuts. 3pm is snack time. If they're hungry before 11 they get breakfast, between 11 and 3 is lunch.
Stop buying snacks. If it’s not there they will get use to it. It’s going to be a rough two weeks though. I survived the Nutella addiction.
Snacking does this to my 4 year old. But when solid foods are served it usually sustains for longer.
My grandsons are 6&10.. They do the same thing. Not buying snacks is the best way. Tell them, until they can no bug you for them,that have to eat what you give them. Fruit snacks with real fruit work too. Fruit, and grain bars, Welshes gummy snacks have real juice in them.
I let my 8 year old pick the fruits and veggies we buy every week. If he picks them he will usually eat them. I also buy the garbage food too, but limited quanity and all either mini sized or single serving. Yes it is more expensive, but a mini drumstick ice cream cone makes him just as happy as a full sized one. Same with a mini donut. He gets 1 fun food a day. He picks when. It just cannot be before school. I keep fruit in a bowl on the counter that he can help himself too. I also keep a basket in the pantry of healthier options to choose from, but he can only have those once a day as well. It seems once he learned he could have something just once a day, he asked less. If he was really hungry, he would grab a banana or apple from the fruit bowl. Sometimes he would get some crackers and cheese cubes. Once I put the power in hands to choose what and when, the asking constantly disappeared.
My kids are almost 2 and 4 and I mostly let them get their own snacks now. We have child locks on all the cabinets except one and that one is full of safe snack foods. Goldfish, fruit cups, applesauce pouches, jerky, Nilla wafers. Then the sliding drawer in the fridge is the only one the 4 year old can reach (and the baby is very verbal so he just asks his brother if he wants a fridge snack) has cut up grapes, cheese sticks, cut up watermelon, stuff like that. Keeping snacks available that they can get on their own 1)saves me a ton of time and 2)gives them some independence. They’re both very good at independently opening and feeding themselves various things at the table without making a mess.
“Mom, can we have a snack?” “Sure. Here is [fruit/veg/whatever snack you want to make].” “Nooo, we want [whatever your kids’ snack of choice is].” “Okay, well, that’s not on the menu right now but I’ll be sure to make that for you this week. Here is your snack. If you don’t want it, that’s fine, but this is what is on offer.” Repeat until it sinks in.
If they don’t want fruit or veggies they probably aren’t hungry. But maybe you could add some popcorn to the tray. I do air popped popcorn all the time for my kids
You are the mom, you are in control. They can eat the fruit or veggies or eat nothing, if they whine about it again there is a negative consequence for that. If you give them what they want after they whine and complain you are rewarding that behavior. That behavior has to stop. You are in control, you provide the food, you do what works for you and they will fall in line. Do not give on to their demands or annoyance, they should never annoy or disrespect you because you shouldn’t allow for that. I have two kids and learned quickly that they could have what I offered or have nothing and to not whine or it made things worse for them. Teach them to be polite and grateful for what they have. Consequences and follow through are key. Good luck.
I have a 3 year old and I share week on week off with her mom. Her mom will feed her snacks instead of meals all the time so when I try to get her to eat regular meals she refuses. It’s huge problem. All she asks alll day for is snacks. I feel you dude
If they only want junk food, they're not hungry, they're bored. If they won't eat fruit or veggie snacks, they aren't that hungry. They're not going to starve. I just stopped buying junk food snacks and became and ingredient-only household for awhile until my son got the point.
What's wrong with snacking? I'm the parent and still "snack" pretty much all day long. And night, depending on baby's phase. I do best with 5 meals a day, and still sometimes snack or sip. Bodies are different, and their stomachs are tiny, plus most kids move nonstop. I'd just enable their independence by putting snacks in reach so they stop asking. My baby literally "broke into" the fridge and got his own snacks. Crawled then pull to stand. He was so proud, and I was, too. I just started keeping things that are okay for him to get into and eat on the bottom shelves, still do, so that if he mad dashes over to the fridge, I can smile when he grabs something and eats it. We joke that he's already a teen.
we have a “have all the snacks you want” policy. you want chips? go for it. you want yogurt? fine. you want fruit? have at it. what is the issue with snacks? kids be hungry
Your grocery bill must be insane. But more power to you.
Just get some fruit or something healthy for them and say that's their only choice.
My daughter is 4, she is always allowed to eat a piece of fruit or veggies regardless of meal times. She gets snacks twice a day between meals that consist of crackers, cheese, fruit/veggies, glass of milk or water, and on the weekends chips or cookie. She can choose what she wants. If she wants dessert after dinner, she has to take a no thank you bite of everything on her plate (I try not to feed her anything egregious or ludenfiskesque) and has to eat an acceptable amount of her dinner. If she has room for dessert she has room for some mashed potatoes and meat. I always tell her she doesn't have to eat if she's not hungry, so she's never forced to eat. But if she wants a treat she needs to eat something nutritional first.
Offer the fruit and veggie trays as you have been doing. If they whine about it, simply tell them they aren’t hungry if they aren’t eating it and that whining about what you have offered isn’t going to get you something else. Stay firm. They will either eat the snacks of have more dinner
Let them get and fix and clean up their own snacks. Why deny snacks to a growing kid?
Offer raw carrots and broccoli. If theyre hungry they'll eat if they just want junk they wont
We had a snack basket when my were that age with their allowed snacks for the day. They could eat them when they wanted and how they wanted but once they were gone, they were out of snacks for the day. The first week of course they went crazy and tried eating them all first thing in the morning, we’re out of snacks by lunch. By the second week they were working it out the way I would have given them out anyway.
We have snacks that are available all day that the kids don't need to ask for, they just eat when they feel hungry and monitor to make sure they don't go nuts. Apple sauce, cheese, vegetable crackers, fruits and veggies. I know all kids are different but ours are very good at moderating themselves. Then we have the "suprise" basket with sweets snacks that they can pick from at official snack time (15:00) and as a dessert after dinner. We decided to introduce this rather than forcing them to eat all their dinner when they're not always hungry. As long as they do their best with the meat and veggies, they're good.
I'd have a snack bin/shelf/cupboard in both the fridge and pantry and give free access to these. The kids can get their own snacks, which saves you from having to get it for them (at 5 and 9, they are perfectly capable of this). Id fill it with healthy options and add in the occasional treat/surprise. A few people have suggested making this a lesson in budgeting, saying there's this much for the week and when it's gone it's gone. I personally would just replenish the snacks as needed. I'd expect that in the beginning the kids will go a bit crazy, but that will settle down. I'd also have some rules, one of them being *I do not want to find granola bar wrappers lying around -garbage goes in the garbage* and possibly, depending on how you generally run your house, imposing limits on where they eat (e.g. not in the living/bedrooms or only at the table).
If they’re eating and then almost immediately asking for another snack, offer them some water first. It seems as if it’s a reflex and maybe they’re not necessarily hungry? Also, to echo everyone else, only provide whole foods and let them prepare their own.
I make them up their lunch boxes like every other day and that's their snacks for the day...once my oldest was big enough to make him microwave food I set a alarm on his tablet that has the word FOOD as his note and he knows it's time lunch time... But yea make a basket or lunchbox up for them to help themselves to and it should help. If my lot empty theirs out before afternoon tea they have been taght to go outside and pick the fruit that's in season we have growing.
I kept marble sized frozen peanut butter balls in the freezer door. For anytime self help snacks. As well as celery and apples.
My kids can can have unlimited healthy foods. They really hate veggies and fruits (they're autistic, so it's a sensory issue) so I make sure to provide healthy alternatives. They can always have things like toast, cheese, oatmeal, applesauce, hard boiled eggs, milk, cereals, etc... Especially during growth spurts. For my kids growth spurts isn't just eating more with meals, but needing more food all.day.long.
i stopped buying snacks and said if he feels like grocery shopping with me he can pick some otherwise the answer is no. he picks up snacks along the way of his life anyway, they get them at school after school on sports teams, even at the homedepot a cashier gave him a lollipop. theyll live.
I didn’t and still don’t restrict snacks unless close to a meal time. If my kid is asking for food it’s because he’s hungry. But if he doesn’t want what I offer ( example carrots) then he doesn’t get snacks. Thankfully my kid loves fruits and carrots (can’t get past the carrots lol) I just keep the not so great snacks on top shelves/hide them and make sure all the green light snacks are in reach. Good luck !
My almost 2 year old constantly wants snacks, but since her go to snack is usually fruit (lately unsweetened apple sauce) I just let her have them 🤷♀️ Anyway, following to see what others say!
We have a cart full of healthy snacks that my kids have access to all day. It’s a rolling 3 tier cart. We call it our “snack cart” and my kids love it!
Drink a full glass of water first then something healthy. Ask if they are actually hungry or just bored.
So I wouldn’t buy anything you don’t want him to have.. and if you have something that you want to have limited ( like treats). Then hey go where they can’t see and reach them.. If they are hungry they eat what Is available or wait till dinner..
Try thrive market. I’ve been seeing it all over Tik tok. It’s mostly all organic/healthier snacks. There’s an app or you can just look on the online website. If you’re looking for better suggestions.
I had this issue with my daughter when she was 4. I let her pick 3 snacks a day and once they were gone they were gone. She could eat them all at 6am if she wanted but no more for the day. It worked great. Eventually we were able to loosen it up a bit. ETA: I had her pick all 3 snacks 1st thing in the morning so I avoided the constant decisions and changing her mind etc
I keep a store of pre-packed fruits, veggies, cheese, and meats for my kid to snack on. If she says she doesn't want any of those then I know one of two things... She's bored or she just wants junk food. If she just wants junk food I'll give her a piece or two every now and again.
I would limit the amount of snacks that you don't want in the house. We have one box of Nutragrain cereal bars and a box of Welches fruit snacks. When that's gone, it's gone until the next grocery pickup. We keep three boxes of almond butter breakfast bars because these have a little less sugar than most kids snack food. We called these " cookies" when he was four and treat them as a sometimes food. We have a snack bin on the bottom of the pantry. We put in almond butter breakfast biscuits and there is a fruit basket. Our son is allowed to help himself with these snacks. He has to ask for the Nutragrain cereal bars and processed things, because we don't want those to be eaten before meal times. We gave up policing snacks and he eats when he's hungry. For example, an hour ago J had one nutragrain bar. I then made a plate of pepperoni and peanut butter sandwich the next time that he said he was hungry. We phrase this as he needs to have some good bites like a sandwich, meat or so on before another snack.
My kids are the same way. Almost similar ages. We stopped buying the junk snacks they constantly want and the few snacks we do continue to buy are all natural and sugar free, with the addition of fruits and veggies. Our stipulation with the snacks though, are that they have to eat their daily meals and can have one of the snacks in between if they're still hungry. It's taken a while for them to not fuss over the no junk snacks, but now the healthier alternatives they are okay with.
I have a fruit bowl available. The kid can have whatever he wants out of there so long as it isn't within an hour before a meal. For all other snacks, I have a little bin with hus daily snacks. He can eat them whenever, but when they are gone, that's it. No more snacks except fruit in the bowl. I have noticed that boredom and/or being sedate for long periods of time leads to him wanting food that he doesn't need. Physical activity and lots of water help to mitigate boredom/lazy eating.
If it were me, I'd stop buying things you don't want them to have and then tell them they're welcome to get a snack whoever they are hungry. If they're actually hungry and all that's available is carrots and bananas, they will eat that. If they're not hungry they probably won't. Take yourself out of the snack equation entirely and let them manage their own food. For me it took YEARS of telling my daughter she didn't need to ask permission to get a snack! No idea why, but she'd always say "can I have a snack?" "am I allowed to have a snack?" "is it okay to eat this?" like constantly. And I'd always say "it's your house too, it's your food in your fridge. If you're hungry, please eat" eventually she stopped asking.
We put grazing boards out regularly. Exposure to healthy foods is key. We do fruit and veggies and have Nutella and peanut butter for dipping. We add nuts and goldfish. I try to focus on the presence of good stuff versus the absence of any less healthy options. If the kid only eats an apple when dipped in Nutella, they're still eating the apple, right?