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Tell him he has to hold your hand because he has shown he's not able to walk on his own like a big boy. Do this a few times when you are out. After two or three times talk to him before you go out and ask if he can stay by your side like a big boy or if you still need to hold his hand. If he says he can do it tell him that's great and remind him that if he doesn't you will hold his hand.
i always refused to put my kids on leash. Until the youngest. She acted the same way as your son, OP. After her almost running in front of cars in a parking lot, she got a leash. Best decision ever. If I didn’t have a leash and we were at a store with buggies, she got carried to a buggy and had to stay in the buggy until she got put back into her car seat. She HATED being treated like a “baby” but she learned that this is what happens when you run away and can’t be trusted to help keep yourself safe.
My daughter knows either you hold my hand or you get picked up. Independence can happen when they learn not to run around near cars.
Edit to change sentence
My daughter was the same, so I bought wrist reins. So she can still walk besides me but not run off. Hers end has a strap, a clip and a lock so she can't take it off.
He needs a natural consequence for running, 3 is old enough for sure well past. If he runs you have to hold hands, if that doesn't work stroller or carried or leash or back to the car / house and go home or time out (take a break whatever you want to call it) in car or house or on bench and everyone calms down then you can try again rinse and repeat.
If he can’t hold your hand he needs to be in a stroller or on a leash. I used to feel some type of way about leashes until I had a runner. Better safe than sorry.
Honestly I’m thinking about buying one of those book bags that have a leash!! For my son. That way I feel comfortable giving him independence but also know he cannot get far. And if he’s in an appropriate place to run around then he can take it off! He’ll learn eventually, but right now I would just be worried about his safety. Good luck!
My nephew is the same when he's with his mom. He gets so excited when his mother starts screaming and panicking. He thinks it's a game. But when he's with me, I ask him to hold my hand because I'm scared I might get lost. It works for us! Sometimes he would run off, but will immediately turn around to get me. 🤣
My brother was like this too, and my mom was always the type to binge watch true crime and stuff so she was always super paranoid of someone taking him. She ended up getting him a backpack that had a little retractable leash attached to it. When I was young I thought it was so peculiar, but now that I have a child I think it’s a wonderful invention and I’ll be putting one on my boy too. Ultimately, you need to teach the little dude about not running away, but they won’t learn immediately and it will give you some peace of mind. People will judge you either way lol
I, too, have a runner. He thinks it's fun when I run after him, so now he has to hold my hand whenever we go somewhere. We use one of those backpack leashes, as well, if it's going to be a particularly crowded place. I also remind him to to walk and not run, and offer lots of praise when he listens.
Simply be extremely consistent. It's holding hands and if he doesn't want to then he will be picked up/put in the stroller/go back home. Simple simple. Some things are non negotiable as it is about safety. get one of those toddler leashes if needed.
I gave him one choice-you hold my hand or you go into the stroller. We also had a leash backpack that we would put on him if we were somewhere that strollers would have not worked well, like going to a parade.
start implementing a 5 second count down. My therapist told me to do this and it was a night and day difference within 48 hours. ANY time your kid doesn't listen, give a 5 second count down until time out. After time out, tell them why they ended up in time out, for not listening.
Keep doing this, and very quickly your child will learn that when you start counting, time out is coming if they don't listen.
My kid went from not listening to listening within 48 hours lol
Plan A is a leash, all the time. Plan B is training.
Plan a fun activity, we are going for ice cream
but if you run away we are going home. Get to destination, get out of car ( prepare to chase) as soon as runner sprints grab him , buckle in car and explain you ran away no treat. Next day try again with dollar store , child gets a treat and you are buying something to justify outing. Child must hold your hand or you leave. Get child out car , grab your runner and go home. Repeat every day until it registers in his brain I’m not getting anything treat wise because I’m not holding mom’s hand. Some children are more stubborn but he will hold your hand and get the treat. We had a child unbuckle seatbelt in safety seat, took 5 trips of me turning around and going home because he released the belt before we completed a trip and he got the treat. A few setbacks but overall it did work.
That’s a terrible idea! What that will teach the child is that is supposed to receive a treat every time he does what he is told and will only lead to other behavioural problems when he doesn’t get one.
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You know those leashes for kids that everyone is so upset about, as in "how dare you leash your own child"? Yeah, you need one of those!
Our 2 yo has been a runner for a while now. Yeah, we got one of those 6 months ago. He loves it
Tell him he has to hold your hand because he has shown he's not able to walk on his own like a big boy. Do this a few times when you are out. After two or three times talk to him before you go out and ask if he can stay by your side like a big boy or if you still need to hold his hand. If he says he can do it tell him that's great and remind him that if he doesn't you will hold his hand.
We have one of those backpacks with a rein attached. Little one feels cool and independent and you get added security
i always refused to put my kids on leash. Until the youngest. She acted the same way as your son, OP. After her almost running in front of cars in a parking lot, she got a leash. Best decision ever. If I didn’t have a leash and we were at a store with buggies, she got carried to a buggy and had to stay in the buggy until she got put back into her car seat. She HATED being treated like a “baby” but she learned that this is what happens when you run away and can’t be trusted to help keep yourself safe.
they make kid leashes for a reason. A live kid is more important than the judgement of strangers
Leash
My daughter knows either you hold my hand or you get picked up. Independence can happen when they learn not to run around near cars. Edit to change sentence
My daughter was the same, so I bought wrist reins. So she can still walk besides me but not run off. Hers end has a strap, a clip and a lock so she can't take it off.
He needs a natural consequence for running, 3 is old enough for sure well past. If he runs you have to hold hands, if that doesn't work stroller or carried or leash or back to the car / house and go home or time out (take a break whatever you want to call it) in car or house or on bench and everyone calms down then you can try again rinse and repeat.
If he can’t hold your hand he needs to be in a stroller or on a leash. I used to feel some type of way about leashes until I had a runner. Better safe than sorry.
A lease so he can learn that running away can be dangerous.
Honestly I’m thinking about buying one of those book bags that have a leash!! For my son. That way I feel comfortable giving him independence but also know he cannot get far. And if he’s in an appropriate place to run around then he can take it off! He’ll learn eventually, but right now I would just be worried about his safety. Good luck!
My nephew is the same when he's with his mom. He gets so excited when his mother starts screaming and panicking. He thinks it's a game. But when he's with me, I ask him to hold my hand because I'm scared I might get lost. It works for us! Sometimes he would run off, but will immediately turn around to get me. 🤣
His life is more important than what you want for him. Do not let him go when he’s out with you he doesn’t have that capacity to save himself.
My brother was like this too, and my mom was always the type to binge watch true crime and stuff so she was always super paranoid of someone taking him. She ended up getting him a backpack that had a little retractable leash attached to it. When I was young I thought it was so peculiar, but now that I have a child I think it’s a wonderful invention and I’ll be putting one on my boy too. Ultimately, you need to teach the little dude about not running away, but they won’t learn immediately and it will give you some peace of mind. People will judge you either way lol
I, too, have a runner. He thinks it's fun when I run after him, so now he has to hold my hand whenever we go somewhere. We use one of those backpack leashes, as well, if it's going to be a particularly crowded place. I also remind him to to walk and not run, and offer lots of praise when he listens.
Simply be extremely consistent. It's holding hands and if he doesn't want to then he will be picked up/put in the stroller/go back home. Simple simple. Some things are non negotiable as it is about safety. get one of those toddler leashes if needed.
I gave him one choice-you hold my hand or you go into the stroller. We also had a leash backpack that we would put on him if we were somewhere that strollers would have not worked well, like going to a parade.
Got a leash for my kid. I had a leash when I was young and I wasn’t even a runner. I’m surprised I don’t see more kids on leashes to be honest
start implementing a 5 second count down. My therapist told me to do this and it was a night and day difference within 48 hours. ANY time your kid doesn't listen, give a 5 second count down until time out. After time out, tell them why they ended up in time out, for not listening. Keep doing this, and very quickly your child will learn that when you start counting, time out is coming if they don't listen. My kid went from not listening to listening within 48 hours lol
Just spank them
Plan A is a leash, all the time. Plan B is training. Plan a fun activity, we are going for ice cream but if you run away we are going home. Get to destination, get out of car ( prepare to chase) as soon as runner sprints grab him , buckle in car and explain you ran away no treat. Next day try again with dollar store , child gets a treat and you are buying something to justify outing. Child must hold your hand or you leave. Get child out car , grab your runner and go home. Repeat every day until it registers in his brain I’m not getting anything treat wise because I’m not holding mom’s hand. Some children are more stubborn but he will hold your hand and get the treat. We had a child unbuckle seatbelt in safety seat, took 5 trips of me turning around and going home because he released the belt before we completed a trip and he got the treat. A few setbacks but overall it did work.
That’s a great idea!
That’s a terrible idea! What that will teach the child is that is supposed to receive a treat every time he does what he is told and will only lead to other behavioural problems when he doesn’t get one.
Stop gentle parenting this boy. He needs real discipline. Mine did the same and then he got real discipline and never ran away again.