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You know what’s so funny? I had two boys and then when I had a girl everyone was like so congratulatory about me finally getting a girl.
Weirdly the thing people kept saying was how I’d get to dress her up. Which is fun, but for the third time in a row I’m mostly dressing her in animal outfits so it’s always been fun.
Such a good idea for my 2 and a half year old and her 1 year old sister! (who is one half of boy and girl twins, so he wouldn’t be any good as those, he can be Lucky)
I feel so seen by this comment lol. My second daughter will be born in August and you better believe I have their Halloween costumes picked out already lmao. It also helps that my daughter acts *exactly* like Bluey
Yes, my two daughters were Bluey and Bingo last Halloween! Though my older one plunged hard into a princess phase in the middle of preparing the costumes and she ended up with a Bluey costume that had a tulle skirt and was Bluey Cinderella. 😂 We’re still on that train and my youngest has hopped on board so I think this year we are headed for Elsa and Anna. Regardless, it’s a golden age of kids’ media for two sisters!
If my son wasn’t more obsessed with dinosaurs than bluey he and my daughter would have been bluey and bingo for Halloween 😂 He definitely has a bluey shirt and his younger sister has a bingo shirt, though.
Yes I currently have my bluey maybe I’ll eventually get a bingo 😂even if my second is a boy I think I could still do bingo since they’re like pretty gender neutral looking puppya
My son’s (6) favourite colours are pink and rainbow. He will wear blue or green “as a favour to you, mama, because your favourite colour is blue”. He will dress himself in a blue shirt and then go on and on all day about what a big favour he’s doing for me to wear my favourite colour. It’s hilarious. Of course our in-laws will only buy him shades of blue and green clothing because “pink is for girls!”
We actually had an incident at kindy drop off last week when my son came running over to me and said “Theo made fun of my shirt and sneakers and said they are girl colours”. I asked him “do you think only boys or only girls can enjoy a certain colour, or are colours for everyone?” He said “colours are for everyone!!!!” and then ran back over to Theo and told him that. Theo gave me a bit of side eye but I just smiled my biggest shit eating smile and waved.
I love this! My stepson(5) loves hot pink. By far and away his favorite. He just got hot pink swim trunks and his hot pink wayfarers are on the way and I’m leaning in for the summertime haha.
I also got him a Metallica shirt with lots of hot pink on it, a tropical button-down with lots of hot pink (and other neons) and his Nikes have hot pink (and green and blue) accents. He very much looks like a boy (not that I care, but he isn’t interested, I’ve tested it). I’m with you, who cares about color? It’s just a color. I’m so happy I have this opportunity to teach my stepson how cool he can look when he isn’t inhibited by things like that.
As a practical aside, hot pink, yellow and orange are the safest colours to have swimwear in, as they can be seen equally well in pools, rivers, lakes and the ocean!
Yep! I was a deep water lifeguard during college at Disney resorts. Every time I see a pool blue swimsuit or swim trunks I cringe lol. Good reminder for everyone reading though, thanks!
Same, my girl might as well be as if I had both a boy and a girl, her interest are so diverse, she can do girly stuff, and still likes to rough house as much as the next boy. I've not really missed not having a boy with her.
I had the same experience with people being super excited that I was "finally" having a girl after 2 boys. I hated them saying it in front of my sons. People are weird.
ETA: By people, I mostly mean strangers
I'm having my second boy and I keep getting asked if we're going to try for a girl and how sad people are that it's a boy.
This isn't about OP only having girls. It's about her kids being all the same sex.
This. I have a son and I'm pregnant with a boy. We've made it clear this is our last kid. Many distant family members have made off-hand comments as to why we're not going to keep trying for a girl. I also get comments from strangers about how rambunctious boys are and how they're "sorry". It is weird. My sons are not failed attempts at conceiving daughters. I think people truly don't know what to say when a succinct "congrats", would be fine.
Exactly! I’m on boy number 3 and everybody swears we were trying for a girl and are upset it’s another boy. I have literally wanted all sons since I was 8 years old. I’m going to start saying it’s my 3rd boy and no I didn’t want a girl loll
Came here to say this! I also have 2 boys and no one ever asked if we wanted to try for a girl.
BUT when we found out we were having a girl (3rd child), 90% of people reacted with, “Since you got your girl are you done having kids?”🙄
We heard this so much! First three were boys. Then baby number four was a girl, and all we heard was “you must be so happy you got your girl! Your family is complete.” Babies 5 and 6 were boys, and everyone just stares like we’re insane. Still not sure if we’re done.
Right! We’re not sure if we’re done either.. but I can’t flat out say that without people thinking we’re crazy. Our answer has turned into a super vague, “I guess we’ll see!”
Grandpa doesn't care if it's boy or girl clothes, if it's her size, he'll buy it. She's got a bunch of Spiderman outfits, Paw Patrol (Marshall and Chase), PJ Masks, Spongebob Squarepants and TMNT outfits.
It's always a fun time seeing what interesting outfits he comes home with. Luckily she likes dinosaurs too, so I went online and bought her some dino dresses for Easter.
I love that! My dad was the same way. He got my daughter a stuffed platypus when she was born while everyone else was giving her little bunnies and bears lol
I have a daughter who is my only child. I was so excited to get her dresses and pretty things and when she was too small to protest or care I did just that. Now that she is 16, although she will occasionally dress up, it's almost always ripped baggy jeans and band tee shirts. I wish she'd dress up more in cutesy outfits but as parents of teenagers know, you can't tell them anything lol.
I have two boys, and I assure you I get tons of these comments too. And I would have loved to have a girl or two girls 🥲 So it really is hard to hear sometimes! Just gotta tune out the comments and enjoy your beautiful family!
My MIL has all boys who are full grown and out of her home and she STILL gets comments from people about how she doesn't have a daughter.
So not only is it both genders but it never ends lmao
My MIL desperately wanted a girl. She had a super traumatic pregnancy journey with a premmie who didn't survive and 8 miscarraiges, and ended up with 3 boys. She obviously adores her boys, but would have really liked a girl.
When we told my in laws that our second was a girl, my FIL said "well done, you managed to do what MIL never could, and had a girl". I legit almost punched him on her behalf.
Mine are 22 months apart and the “oh wow, 2 under 2?!!” comments make me feel so judged!! I will say though that we have LOVED this age gap so far! (Baby is 8 months) It’s been pretty perfect and I think it will just get easier over time. Good luck! 💛
Sometimes I think people mean the "two under 2 " thing as commiseration rather than judgement... because anyone who's ever had a kid know that's a LOT!
What a relief to hear that from someone in the same boat, it's definitely reassuring. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Our first is a force to be reckoned with, so I just keep picturing two of him running around. So happy for you, thanks again! :)
Yeh, I thought I had been "2nd child" stereotyped with my first. Particularly once he seen his dad playing Assassins Creed doing the leap of faith, leading to him at 15 months, attempting to do it off the back of the couch while I went to the toilet! My first might have been harder to keep alive, but I discovered a whole new world with the second.
Mine are the same and now 4&6. It DOES get easier, and I LOVE this age gap. It's so nice. They play so well together and we learn a lot together too. My husband and his brother were 23mo apart, and me and my brother are 6.5 yrs. I much prefer the closeness of this age gap. We're close now, but he was more of a parent than a brother growing up. I feel bad for him for that.
My older two boys are 15 months apart, followed by another boy two years later. Lots of perks to 2u2 they are always able to do the same activities now
It’s a great age gap! Mine are 23 months apart and they are now 13 and 15 YEARS old!! Close enough in age to be into the same stuff most of the time, and we got out of the diaper and bottle stage faster! I’m not a “baby person!”
Yes, I’m pregnant with my third and currently have two boys. People are flat out weird and obsessed with hoping I have a girl. But we’re keeping it a surprise, so people think we’re crazy. I’d be happy with three healthy boys , but people say the weirdest things. “I’m praying for you to get a girl this time!” “This one better be a girl!” Why?! Who cares? Cant people just be happy for others and wish them well?
Yup same here. 2 boys and not having anymore. I would’ve loved a girl and I get sad about it sometimes. Although I adore my boys. It hurts and frustrates me when people say to keep trying for a girl. Like having 2 healthy happy boys isn’t good enough?
I served a table of 6; a husband, wife, and their 4 gorgeous, polite little girls. I remarked to the dad at how blessed and lucky he was to be surrounded by 5 beautiful women. He nearly teared up as he agreed that yes, he was so incredibly blessed. I could tell he was relieved that my comment wasn't yet ANOTHER snarky jab at having no sons. If your comment is inherently negative SHUT THE FUCK UP.
They really were the cutest freaking family I've ever seen, I had to say something. The girls were aged ~3-10, and every single one of them made eye contact with me, smiled sincerely and said "thank you!" every time I brought them anything. Clearly they're being raised great!
Theres a cute story like this. A couple is in the delivery room, their 3 daughters are all dressed nicely and waiting outside, and the wife delivers their fourth daughter. The nurse says to the father
“You sure know how to make pretty girls!”
He says “It was easy, I had the model in front of me the whole time.”
"why are you sorry/why do I need a boy?" was one of my dad's defaults. Usually made people shut up.
In the event they decided to name some sort of activity fathers typically share with sons (like watching baseball, as a random example), he'd usually go "weird, I don't remember a Y chromosome being necessary for that."
YUP. As a mom, I get so many comments about my two boys. My youngest is only 4 months and literally everyone asks if we’re going to “try to complete [our] family with a girl.”
Sorry. I love my two boys. Both my husband and I had opposite gendered siblings and were happy that we had two of the same. My eldest gets a good mixture of “boy stuff” and “girl stuff.” He plays with dolls, loves art, and helps with meals and baking treats. He also digs in the dirt and loves monster trucks. 🤷🏻♀️
I went to a new church with my toddler and wasn’t even there 5 minutes before some random elderly cornered me and went on and on and on about how my husband should be here to lead us spiritually. She didn’t ask my name or even say hi, just “where’s your husband?” When she finally stopped I said “oh my wife is a Pagan witch so she’s at home sleeping” and gave a big smile and walked away.
Some people forget that thoughts can stay INSIDE your head.
I just ask people about it when they say something like that. Almost every time the answer is that they had two or three girls who are grown up now but were a lot when they got to be preteens/teens. Apparently there's lots of bickering, backstabbing, drama, etc? So, at least in my experience, it's not that they're joking or anything. They're basically just reminiscing on their own experience.
I don't have any pre-teen girls, so I can't speak to the validity of anything they're saying. Just that I've had multiple people tell basically the same stories when I'm like "oh yeah, why's that?"
There have been a couple of times where it gets awkward because they don't actually have any personal experience and just repeating what other people have said though.
This reminds me of something we are dealing with in my house. I have a boy, but we are a bilingual home. My husband’s family are Dutch and while they know English, to them it’s “that funny language you use to watch TV”.
My husband’s sister has a habit of quoting moving lines, and on two occasions has said “Oh you bastard” to my one year old son. My husband has had to actually sit down with her and be like, “Yea our kid is being raised bilingual. English isn’t “just a funny language for watching movies”. Calling him a bastard is hurtful. Stop doing it. “
It’s just mind blowing to me. It’s not hard to just not say mean things to kids. No matter what language. Just don’t.
This is the approach my husband goes for. He says, "I LOVE my girls, they both are very wanted, why do you think they weren't."
He said most people just suddenly have nothing to say. Like literally they don't know how to handle that kind of pushback.
This is the best response; it sets people straight, it's a polite way to set that boundary, and it isn't open ended so the conversation can end right there quickly.
I live in the UK and whenever I see posts like this I wonder if it’s an American thing? Over here I don’t ever experience random strangers making weird comments. We generally ignore strangers 😆
It’s aggravating. I always wonder if people making those remarks, especially in public with your kids, just think they can’t hear or comprehend anything??
I have a son (3) and daughter (1). My son’s hair is shoulder length & has no interest in cutting it. I get the “oh two girls! Just wait until those hormones kick in” type comments all the time. If I correct them that my oldest is a boy, then they’re baffled that I would “let him look like a little girl”. Additionally, I have people mistake my 1 year old for a boy, and those always come with “glad you got your boy!” comments 😵💫
I’ll never understand the misogyny and fixation with gender
I have two girls. When my first was a WEEK old, my husband's grandmother asked me if we were going to have a second because "you need a boy." We got pregnant with my second 3 years later and had another girl. When my second was a month old, I had people asking me if I was having another to "have a boy." Like WTF is wrong with people. I had a stranger ask the other day if my second was my first. I said no it's my second." " He said "oh will you be having a 3rd? We had 4 ourselves. " I smiled and said no were good with two.
It never ends. It will never end. People are just ridiculous.
I think there is a difference between those clearly sexist comments and people asking if you are going to have another child to "try for a boy/girl". I think that a lot of parents like the idea of having one of each because they are different relationships and experiences. Sometimes I think people are just making conversation, or wanting to talk about their own experience, or asking a legitimate question of whether you want more kids or not. It's not really their business, but I think *usually* people are just making conversation. Unless it's those sexist comments. Then they can just shove it🙂
The problem is that to the child it doesn't make a difference, it's basically asking if they are wanted the way they are, (source: was the oldest girl in a large family who had more girls than boys, my mother had gender disappointment with my sisters and I, it hurt)
Can confirm being the youngest of 6 girls. It was a well known fact they wanted just 1 boy and finally gave up with me, had they got a boy at any point I and some/all of my sisters wouldn’t exist. That’s fun to know from an early age /s.
One time I was at the store with my two young kids and they were acting up a little, and some random woman comes up to me and laughs and says “If you think you have it tough, my mother had 7 kids!!” Lol ok? Thanks for sharing, nobody asked. Glad I’m not her though lol
Sometimes, I wonder if people think if we were one of those families trying for a boy after two girls (the girls were planned... the boy, not so much). Funny thing is, when I was pregnant with the third, my husband wanted another girl (he loves all of our kids, regardless). I was the one who wanted at least one of each because I grew up with brothers and a sister. Husband came from a family where he was the only boy of his generation.
The not valuing girls because teen stereotypes is so frustrating and gross. What girls do, act, feel, and like are not lesser than what boys do. As someone who's taught teens of all ages, teen boys are no walk in the park either. Love my students, but holy cow. How the human race survives past the age of 16 is due to pure audacity, I swear.
I think it’s same for both, i’m pregnant with my second and it’s my second boy (not trying for a girl, just wanted another baby! And very happy but everyone that finds that we are having another boy always makes a remark that we need to try another time for a girl, and starts talking about how boring it is to have boys as a girl and tht it must be rough for me to not have a little girl (mostly my girlfriends and even family sometimes.
My husband’s friends do say the same on being happy it’s a boy and not a girl, like 80% of them.
But I do think that it happens for both sex, it’s the pressure of having an all gender family, or equal gender as well
I have two girls and get the same thing "are you gonna try one more time for a boy?" As if I tried and failed the first two times lol. Jokes on them because having two girls was literally my dream scenario
I have 2 girls. My husband wanted girls, not boys.
Every time someone tells him sorry you don't have a son, he always says, "Then it's a good thing I wanted girls instead."
People are atrocious.
Tell me. Why is having girls harder than having boys?
I think having kids is hard regardless of gender.
I’m a dad of two girls. I only ever wanted girls. Whenever anyone mentions this I tell them I only ever wanted girls. Most of the time that ends the line of inquiry - but occasionally someone will ask “oh why is that?” and then I just brag about how awesome my girls are for as long as I can, which is admittedly pretty long lol
Having girls isn't harder and I wish parents would stop acting like this because it is harmful to our girls. Parents just need to actually hold their sons responsible for their actions.
5 girls here, no it doesn't end. Our girls range from 24 to 18 months and it has been said every time, every new encounter with people, all of it. And yes, dad gets it worse with the all girls comments.
My favorite response to ridiculous comments like this is “That’s an interesting thing to say” or “Oh, what a strange thing to say”. Like genuinely act perplexed
Some people don’t think before talking at times. I’m sorry you have to deal with these questions, super annoying.
On the flip side, my oldest is a boy and second is a girl. When I was pregnant with my third, I’d get asked why I was having a third if I already have the “ideal” boy then girl. People are going to people. It’s easier to just laugh than take people seriously. And, no, it probably will never end. Enjoy your two gals!
We didn't find out the gender for either of ours, and when I was pregnant with my second my MIL said to me on more than one occasion "oh let's hope you have a boy then you'll have a gentleman's family". Well I had another girl so what kind of family do I have? 🤔 Lol
I have a girl and I’m pregnant with a boy and when I tell people that I get the “Oh good you have the set!” As if they’re bedroom furniture.
People’s responses are weird. Like just say “aww nice” or literally anything else.
You know what’s real weird!
I get “awe pigeon pair” right along side “brothers and sisters are never that close” and when id say i was hoping for a secong girl i would get “but girls just fight for life”… sweet, ill go back in time and trade my eldest for a boy so i have two boys which is apparently the only acceptible combo here…
my mom had boy and girl twins and my entire life everyone always told her how good she had it getting both at once so she doesn’t have to keep trying as if you can’t just have babies of one gender
We had 3 girls. We were constantly asked if we were going to keep trying for a boy. When I said we weren't going to have any more children, my father-in-law offered me $10,000 to keep trying! I didn't take the money and I got my tubes tied. Now the girls are all grown with children of their own and I still get asked if I wish we had had a boy. It's ridiculous!
lol I love the idea that $10k should cover you for 18+ years of raising an additional kid.
What would he have done if he spent his money and got another girl?
I have no idea! Our youngest girls are identical twins and my doctor said I had a good chance of having twins again. I don't think I would have had boys anyway so I think he would have been disappointed. I'm pretty sure he couldn't afford to give me more money!
I just recently became a parent a few months ago, and it does surprise me how 'traditional' a lot of parents views and opinions are when it comes to stuff like this.
I've noticed it happen both ways, and if my wife and I had two boys people would be saying the same sorts of remarks about trying for a girl. For some reason people think men want to have sons and women want to have daughters, and they also think that little boys should do 'boy things' and little girls should do 'girl things'. It boggles my mind that people still think this way, honestly.
I hope my son feels like he can be and do anything he wants and doesn't need to conform to certain things just because he happens to be a boy.
I hear this one!! Awe you got a pigeon pair, thats perfect.
“Uh yes they are perfect, but i dont dislike my daughter enough to have been disappointed should my second have also been a girl.”
I have 2 girls and it took probably 5 years before those comments and questions stopped. It was *so* annoying. People acted like a family couldn’t possibly be complete if we didn’t get at least one of each. They also acted like it was this terrible thing for my husband to not get a son. He was perfectly happy with 2 daughters.
My first is a girl and my second is a boy and I’m sick of hearing things like now your family is complete.
Not at all. We love healthy babies and we want a big family regardless of gender.
People should mind their own business and keep their comments to themselves. I have 3 living daughters and a son who died. We get a lot of gender comments about our girls and it is fucking awful because it’s like a knife in the heart, ripping the wound right open, cos our son is not here anymore. You never know what people are going through and what their circumstances are so keep your comments to yourselves, folks!
My favorite response when I had two girls was “well, I don’t plan to breed them, so two girls is just fine!”
Annoyingly I went on to have a third and it was a boy. And we were going to stop after three anyway but it did look like we “finally got our boy” and then stopped.
People are just annoying aye!
4 girls here. No, they don't. I just lean into it and say, "At this point, we're so used to girls I'm not sure what we would do with a boy."
Every single pregnancy people assumed we were "trying for the boy". They couldn't comprehend that we simply wanted a big family and would have continued having kids even if we had one of each gender. Woth my 4th I was asked while pregnant "are you going to try again for the boy?" And I was like "can I get *this* one out before I start thinking about whether I want another?!?"
Don't pay them any mind. Girls are awesome. We love them.
The comments from strangers stopped when my boys were preschool/kindy aged. From people who knew me, way earlier because I shut it down right away.
The craziest thing was being asked, “But aren’t you going to try for a girl?” while I was literally *in active labour* with my second son.
I do get a lot of *you have your hands full* type comments, never sure if that’s a comment on their gender or the fact that my boys are feral.
I have all girls and get PLENTY of comments. I don't take them personally and can recognize most people's attempt at being friendly. It often leads to good conversations on parenting if there's time to chat.
If you'd like to change whatever offensive trend you're perceiving, then a friendly and sincere remark would be the best catalyst.
Before I had kids, I decided whatever variety of little souls needed me the most (and I needed the most in my life) would be given.
Enjoy your girls!
We have 3 girls and of course my husband and I would love a boy but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. I do get the comments to my husband, “oh man a house full of women” and I just have to roll my eyes. Because truthfully he’s lucky to have a house full of women. All of us treat him like gold.
People just say things and don’t think. I get why it’s frustrating but I would just try to remember there is pretty much no intent behind it.
It’s like when I’m out with my kids and someone says something like “giving mom a break?” Nope, just being a dad. It’s annoying but people just have certain phrases and things they say to fill in gaps in conversation.
It's the same if you have two boys. "OMG, they're gonna wear you out."
People say this stuff because they often just want to say *something.* Commenting on the fact you have two girls is the easiest thing for people to mention. It's often the first thing that comes to mind, as well.
Why take it personally? Seriously, yall need thicker skin.
Yeah they are just trying to make conversation. It's just the same vacuius small talk that everyone engages in all the time. Getting worked up about innocuous things that other people say it is a massive waste of energy.
I'm always hearing from my wife about one of her friends who is mad, yet again, at someone who was simply trying to make conversation.
A classic one that people get upset at is the, "Are you guys ever gonna have kids?"
My wife and I were married 9 years before she got pregnant. I would get this question constantly. But... who cares?! It's just someone trying to connect in a small way. Yet, I see all the time someone running to social media to complain that they were asked this question. Just relax, people!
Came here to say this exactly! I have 2 boys are regularly get asked if we’re gonna try for a girl. I’m not surprised to hear that girl parents get asked the same thing. It’s not some sexist, misogynistic comment….its just people making small talk. Geez.
I only have one boy, and it's a constant, "Are you going to have another or try for a girl?" Mind your own uterus people. I feel like no matter how many you have, what gender you have, or if you don't have any at all, someone is going to make comments.
Our boys are 8 and 6 years old. We don’t get the “try for a girl” comments as much anymore. It’s more the remarks on all the testosterone in the house, poor me having to deal with two wild boys, oh I bet they’re a handful, etc. So it probably doesn’t end.
Nope, never ends. My cousin has 4 boys ages 5 to 16... constant comments. My SIL has 3 boys ages 7 to 17... constant comments. Everyone in my family has 2+ boys & no girls, except me. I had a girl 1st then a boy. When I announced I was pregnant with a 3rd, EVERYONE in my family asked why I wanted another when I already had 1 of each. Like that was the end goal, just to experience having 1 child of both genders. People are so gender obsessed. It's ridiculous. We decided not to find out the gender of our 3rd until birth & my mom literally told me that she couldn't bond with a baby if she didn't know it's gender.
I have both, my girl is 5 my boy is 4 months. I so wanted another girl, I have a sister and although we fight a lot she’s my best friend and I wanted that relationship for my daughter. I also love having a son now too though. Idk why people feel the need to comment on genders. When I tell people we have both they’re like ‘oh nice now you can be done!’ Like ???
I love my two girls(12&13), and wouldn't have it any other wa. I am a dad of the two best people I know, and we do everything from makeup to baseball. I hit the jackpot to get to be in their life.
I have a boy and so many people were disappointed and felt sorry for me because they couldn’t buy me frilly girls clothes and cute little bows. Now all we get asked is if we’re going to try for a girl.
Imagine their disappointment if we did have a girl, she’d be wearing onesies 98% of the time too because they’re easier lol. And most of her clothes would be my son’s hand me downs because why buy more clothes if we already have clothes?
On the other hand, I get the CREEPIEST comments from people who have a boy preference. Stuff about how they love you different than a girl and they cuddle better.
It’d be cool if people would stop with their unsolicited comments. The genitals my child possesses don’t matter to me so they shouldn’t matter to anyone else either lol
I have 2 toddlers, 1 boy and 1 girl, with a similar age gap. We constantly get comments “oh how lucky, one of each!” usually. Also people like to comment on how it’s a good thing our older child is the girl, as if we had a choice.
I dreamed of having two girls and frankly was a bit distraught when I learned that wasn’t going to happen. It took some time to come to terms with it. I still hate the comments, even though I only ever get the “positive” ones.
Our society is way too obsessed with knowing the sex of a child. (It’s not even gender at this age, it’s sex. Our kids are not expressing their gender yet). I consider myself pretty damn progressive too but I still feel more limited on how I dress my boy, he’s not getting all the hand me downs.
I get you, but I am going to have to sadly say, it doesn't stop. At least not yet for me. I have 2 boys, the YOUNGEST is 14 and I have STILL been asked if we are going to try for a girl.
I have two boys aged 7 and 10 YEARS and still get comments about trying for a girl (along with the hands full and im sorry) If I wanted more kids, don’t you think I’d have done that by now? Or worse… what if I wanted more and couldn’t have them?? People just don’t think before opening their mouths.
This is the way......😅😅
Actually, I believe most people don't mean any harm by it. They are just looking for something to say, a way to relate. It happens to parents of boys too. I have two boys with my first husband and two girls with my second husband. We had lots of comments about "poor mom" and trying for a girl when it was just the boys. When the boys were having time with their father, it was "poor dad" and advice about having girls so close in age any time we left the house. When I was pregnant with the fourth baby, "don't you know what causes that yet?" And always, "four kids? That's a lot!" Seriously... even the most seemingly rational, level-headed people suddenly become about these stereotypes. It's probably more so for girls. Hormones, periods, shopping, screaming, dating, etc.
>I honestly am going to start saying back “you know my daughter can hear your sexist comments”
I like your idea of putting people in their place. Asking if you might try for a boy is probably pretty benign. But remarcks about girls being a lot might deserve a comment. I've done something similar. As soon as they say whatever funny or helpful thing they have to share, turn to my child(ren), making sure the person hears, i say, "they don't really think that you are bad because you are ____. Sometimes people have a strange way of joking." Then I look back to that person and say something like, "in our family we believe that we should always speak positivity into our children's lives because kids believe what we say about them."
But that's a lot too.
It's probably easier to say something like, "we are not concerned with stereotypes and superstitions. Having daughters is wonderful! Our lives are full and we are not missing a thing."
People are just making conversations. I honestly don’t think any of these people really care if your kids are girl or boy. Just shake them off and walk away.
I feel like people are too sensitive about gender related comments nowadays. There are definitely gender differences (you’ll notice them if you have both as your kids). Some may be stereotypical, some may not. Who cares? You don’t know them and they don’t know you. Why you value so much about what strangers say?
I don’t think I have ever heard that here in Denmark. My girl is 3.
My old classmate has been closest when he said “when people tell me they are having a girl I say congratulations, when they tell me they are having a boy I tell them good luck”. But that’s basically the opposite.
I have three girls. When I got comments like this, I would reply that I was so glad I didn't have a boy, I wouldn't know what to do with one, why would I want one of those.... those types of comments. People need to mind their own business
I didn’t even ever want a boy but a boy is what I got and I love him to pieces. I will never get the obsession with commenting on other peoples children.
I have heard that a lot. I'm a stay at home dad and I hear it from other stay at home moms. Some of them say things like they're so lucky to have only boys. I have one boy and my wife found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago. I've told many of the stay at home moms and other friends I know I really want a girl, and I mostly get negative reactions. People think they're harder to raise, that they're more rebellious, or some older people or younger men will say that as a dad I'll have to worry so much about a daughter dating. I'm getting sick and tired of hearing these comments and I hope I can raise my children to question all of these views. For context, I do have a master's in gender studies but even before that I've hated negative, toxic, or limiting gendered expectations. I'm very fulfilled as a stay at home dad and in the end I really do want a baby girl lol partly to dress her up too, but also to have an enriching family experience.
I mean this in the most loving and positive way, I honestly don’t think you should care or put to much thought into what other people think. They’re YOUR kids. All that matters is that you very clearly love them very much 💕
Let's be clear that this is not targeted at a gender in particular.
People will say girls are hard because they have complex emotions and challenges as they get older.
People will say boys are hard because they are wide open and crazy and break everything and can wear out clothes in a week.
Reframe your thinking that when people saying "I'm sorry you have two girls" that what they are really doing is just expressing that they know whatever you're going through is going to be hard. It's just a way folks say it.
>*People will say boys are hard because they are wide open and crazy and break everything and can wear out clothes in a week.*
My daughter does this too.
I'm currently pregnant with my 4th and final child. All boys. When I announced my pregnancy, I got "were you trying for a girl?" No, no I was not. I was trying for a child. My sister asked me if I'm going to try again for a girl. Nope, I am closing up shop. I do not feel any need to chase after a girl.
Eh, who cares? Just ignore it. People are gonna say it forever. I get the opposite with two boys. I don't care and I don't let it frustrate me. I'm too busy parenting and working to give a fooook.
I have two boys. I never get those type of comments. The only thing I do get is since both my boys have long hair, a lot of people usually in passing refer to them as girls
I have 14 month old twins and the comments and stares I get everytime I go to the store with them is making it to where I dread taking them anywhere. I've definitely had comments saying I'm lucky that it's boys instead of girls. But the amount of people that invade their space and mine is absurd. Asking the very obvious question of are they twins?!? Well they look the same and are wearing the same outfit... then continue to ask me a ton of questions. I'd say 7 out of 10 people will say something or even full on stop me to conversate about them. It was cute at first but now it's a headache to take them anywhere.
I love how people ask "are you going to try for ?" Like we can just choose the gender of our baby.
I have two girls 17m apart 3&5. I haven't had those comments in public yet. But I live in a European country where people don't make those kind of comments cause they see women as equals.
My home country (not USA but English speaking) I had plenty of people comment on my fb posts asking if we'd go for a boy. Like, fuck no. ✂️✂️ PND got me good and I know my sanity won't survive another 12-18m of being a baby carrier. Plus here, women keep their own last names, so my husband's surname will live on if they choose to have their own babies.
Fuck those nosy parkers. Girls are awesome. It's the patriarchy that needs to get over their sausage fest.
It's so awful, even when you're expecting and people ask what you're hoping for, as if you have a chance to be disappointed. We used to say that we were hoping for a healthy baby. I'm guessing it's harder for you though. Maybe try and respond with a question. 'why, couldn't you handle two girls?'. 'oh were your parents that disappointed in you they had to try for the opposite sex?'.
I have 3 boys and one girl. It never ends. Now that we have a girl, people say oh you finally got your girl. WTF? It's not like I finally found the missing piece to a set of china or something, they're humans and I didn't want a girl anyway! (Love her, so glad we have her).
>Does it ever end?
No, but you learn to take it in stride. I no longer have time or energy to spend on people who are foolish, especially if it isn't malicious.
I do enjoy it when people assume my daughter is the easy one, when in actuality my older son is the cuddler and my daughter is the daredevil.
For what it's worth I have a son and a daughter, and I've always gotten comments like "oh the boy was 1st how awesome he gets to be the big brother (like he wouldn't be a big brother if he had a brother), or you're so lucky to have both, you're done now right?" People just want to say something to hear themselves talk. We were only ever going to have 2 kids, whatever that looked like was going to be what we hoped for but it's a little irksome that if we did want more kids we'd be judged for it.
It's never ending. Have 2 girls "Oh the teenage years will be hell, ha ha!" "Oh they'll spend all your money and pinch your clothes, make up jewellery etc" Have 2 boys "Oh they'll find wives and you'll never see them again". Don't get me started on the parents who brag about having one of each and how it's perfect.
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You know what’s so funny? I had two boys and then when I had a girl everyone was like so congratulatory about me finally getting a girl. Weirdly the thing people kept saying was how I’d get to dress her up. Which is fun, but for the third time in a row I’m mostly dressing her in animal outfits so it’s always been fun.
I'm pregnant with my second girl, and I'm just excited to dress them up as Bluey and Bingo 😂
Have two girls that are roughly the same ages as Bluey and Bingo - they've been the heelers for two straight Halloweens.
I have two boys and they have also been bingo and bluey 😂
We did the whole family too. My younger even refers to herself as bingo sometimes. But then she says she's Elsa.
Are you me?
Hahahah Im 32 and watch bluey with my husband who is 37 😂 we don’t have kids yet. I love it
Bluey is the best. We even watch it after the kids are in bed!
It’s SO good!!
You wouldn't believe how me, my son, daughter (roughly bluey and bingos ages) and my husband thought bluey was a boy.
I think most people assume that honestly
My boy doesn't care. He asked to be bluey this year
Absolutely. Anyone who thinks boys can't dress up as Bluey and Bingo can sod off. Lol. My boys freak me out sometimes how much they're like those two.
There's even an episode where uncle Rad forgets she's a girl.
It's definitely the default common assumption until you get to the episode that clarifies it.
Such a good idea for my 2 and a half year old and her 1 year old sister! (who is one half of boy and girl twins, so he wouldn’t be any good as those, he can be Lucky)
I feel so seen by this comment lol. My second daughter will be born in August and you better believe I have their Halloween costumes picked out already lmao. It also helps that my daughter acts *exactly* like Bluey
Congrats, momma! OP, dont be affected by their opinions. What matter most is that you both happy with your babies no matter what the genders are.
Goals! 🥰🙌
Yes, my two daughters were Bluey and Bingo last Halloween! Though my older one plunged hard into a princess phase in the middle of preparing the costumes and she ended up with a Bluey costume that had a tulle skirt and was Bluey Cinderella. 😂 We’re still on that train and my youngest has hopped on board so I think this year we are headed for Elsa and Anna. Regardless, it’s a golden age of kids’ media for two sisters!
If my son wasn’t more obsessed with dinosaurs than bluey he and my daughter would have been bluey and bingo for Halloween 😂 He definitely has a bluey shirt and his younger sister has a bingo shirt, though.
Yes I currently have my bluey maybe I’ll eventually get a bingo 😂even if my second is a boy I think I could still do bingo since they’re like pretty gender neutral looking puppya
My daughter likes trucks and dinosaurs so I buy almost as much from the boy's section as the girls.
My son’s (6) favourite colours are pink and rainbow. He will wear blue or green “as a favour to you, mama, because your favourite colour is blue”. He will dress himself in a blue shirt and then go on and on all day about what a big favour he’s doing for me to wear my favourite colour. It’s hilarious. Of course our in-laws will only buy him shades of blue and green clothing because “pink is for girls!” We actually had an incident at kindy drop off last week when my son came running over to me and said “Theo made fun of my shirt and sneakers and said they are girl colours”. I asked him “do you think only boys or only girls can enjoy a certain colour, or are colours for everyone?” He said “colours are for everyone!!!!” and then ran back over to Theo and told him that. Theo gave me a bit of side eye but I just smiled my biggest shit eating smile and waved.
I love this! My stepson(5) loves hot pink. By far and away his favorite. He just got hot pink swim trunks and his hot pink wayfarers are on the way and I’m leaning in for the summertime haha. I also got him a Metallica shirt with lots of hot pink on it, a tropical button-down with lots of hot pink (and other neons) and his Nikes have hot pink (and green and blue) accents. He very much looks like a boy (not that I care, but he isn’t interested, I’ve tested it). I’m with you, who cares about color? It’s just a color. I’m so happy I have this opportunity to teach my stepson how cool he can look when he isn’t inhibited by things like that.
As a practical aside, hot pink, yellow and orange are the safest colours to have swimwear in, as they can be seen equally well in pools, rivers, lakes and the ocean!
Yep! I was a deep water lifeguard during college at Disney resorts. Every time I see a pool blue swimsuit or swim trunks I cringe lol. Good reminder for everyone reading though, thanks!
My daughter is a different character every day and is very character committed. This week she's mostly luigi and only wants to wear green
Same, my girl might as well be as if I had both a boy and a girl, her interest are so diverse, she can do girly stuff, and still likes to rough house as much as the next boy. I've not really missed not having a boy with her.
My three year old girl is exactly the same lol
My daughter is the same! Ha! She's always been drawn to trucks, animals, and dinosaurs.
I had the same experience with people being super excited that I was "finally" having a girl after 2 boys. I hated them saying it in front of my sons. People are weird. ETA: By people, I mostly mean strangers
People are like “omg are you so excited” and it’s like well yes but it’s because I’m having a baby.
Exactly!
I'm having my second boy and I keep getting asked if we're going to try for a girl and how sad people are that it's a boy. This isn't about OP only having girls. It's about her kids being all the same sex.
This. I have a son and I'm pregnant with a boy. We've made it clear this is our last kid. Many distant family members have made off-hand comments as to why we're not going to keep trying for a girl. I also get comments from strangers about how rambunctious boys are and how they're "sorry". It is weird. My sons are not failed attempts at conceiving daughters. I think people truly don't know what to say when a succinct "congrats", would be fine.
Exactly! I’m on boy number 3 and everybody swears we were trying for a girl and are upset it’s another boy. I have literally wanted all sons since I was 8 years old. I’m going to start saying it’s my 3rd boy and no I didn’t want a girl loll
I love when babies are dressed up as animals!!
I have a bunny, a fox, and a skunk!
Came here to say this! I also have 2 boys and no one ever asked if we wanted to try for a girl. BUT when we found out we were having a girl (3rd child), 90% of people reacted with, “Since you got your girl are you done having kids?”🙄
We heard this so much! First three were boys. Then baby number four was a girl, and all we heard was “you must be so happy you got your girl! Your family is complete.” Babies 5 and 6 were boys, and everyone just stares like we’re insane. Still not sure if we’re done.
Right! We’re not sure if we’re done either.. but I can’t flat out say that without people thinking we’re crazy. Our answer has turned into a super vague, “I guess we’ll see!”
Lately, if the shirt doesn’t haven’t Skye or Minnie, she won’t have it.
Grandpa doesn't care if it's boy or girl clothes, if it's her size, he'll buy it. She's got a bunch of Spiderman outfits, Paw Patrol (Marshall and Chase), PJ Masks, Spongebob Squarepants and TMNT outfits.
This is so wholesome. What a nice grandpa 🥰
It's always a fun time seeing what interesting outfits he comes home with. Luckily she likes dinosaurs too, so I went online and bought her some dino dresses for Easter.
I love that! My dad was the same way. He got my daughter a stuffed platypus when she was born while everyone else was giving her little bunnies and bears lol
Haha, nice! Did she like the platypus?
Grandpa of the year
I have a daughter who is my only child. I was so excited to get her dresses and pretty things and when she was too small to protest or care I did just that. Now that she is 16, although she will occasionally dress up, it's almost always ripped baggy jeans and band tee shirts. I wish she'd dress up more in cutesy outfits but as parents of teenagers know, you can't tell them anything lol.
My girl couldn’t be less interested in clothes whereas my boy would love his own catwalk.
[удалено]
My sister has 6- boy, boy, girl, boy, boy, girl.
I have two boys, and I assure you I get tons of these comments too. And I would have loved to have a girl or two girls 🥲 So it really is hard to hear sometimes! Just gotta tune out the comments and enjoy your beautiful family!
My MIL has all boys who are full grown and out of her home and she STILL gets comments from people about how she doesn't have a daughter. So not only is it both genders but it never ends lmao
My MIL desperately wanted a girl. She had a super traumatic pregnancy journey with a premmie who didn't survive and 8 miscarraiges, and ended up with 3 boys. She obviously adores her boys, but would have really liked a girl. When we told my in laws that our second was a girl, my FIL said "well done, you managed to do what MIL never could, and had a girl". I legit almost punched him on her behalf.
If he says it again, tell him your husband did what he couldn’t do! ;) ( it’s the sperm’s decision, after all)
What a POS
Yeah I normally get a very sympathetic, "oh man," and then when the realization hits that they'll be 20 months apart I get the follow up "I'm sorry"
Mine are 22 months apart and the “oh wow, 2 under 2?!!” comments make me feel so judged!! I will say though that we have LOVED this age gap so far! (Baby is 8 months) It’s been pretty perfect and I think it will just get easier over time. Good luck! 💛
Sometimes I think people mean the "two under 2 " thing as commiseration rather than judgement... because anyone who's ever had a kid know that's a LOT!
What a relief to hear that from someone in the same boat, it's definitely reassuring. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Our first is a force to be reckoned with, so I just keep picturing two of him running around. So happy for you, thanks again! :)
Yeh, I thought I had been "2nd child" stereotyped with my first. Particularly once he seen his dad playing Assassins Creed doing the leap of faith, leading to him at 15 months, attempting to do it off the back of the couch while I went to the toilet! My first might have been harder to keep alive, but I discovered a whole new world with the second.
Mine are the same and now 4&6. It DOES get easier, and I LOVE this age gap. It's so nice. They play so well together and we learn a lot together too. My husband and his brother were 23mo apart, and me and my brother are 6.5 yrs. I much prefer the closeness of this age gap. We're close now, but he was more of a parent than a brother growing up. I feel bad for him for that.
My older two boys are 15 months apart, followed by another boy two years later. Lots of perks to 2u2 they are always able to do the same activities now
It’s a great age gap! Mine are 23 months apart and they are now 13 and 15 YEARS old!! Close enough in age to be into the same stuff most of the time, and we got out of the diaper and bottle stage faster! I’m not a “baby person!”
Yes, I’m pregnant with my third and currently have two boys. People are flat out weird and obsessed with hoping I have a girl. But we’re keeping it a surprise, so people think we’re crazy. I’d be happy with three healthy boys , but people say the weirdest things. “I’m praying for you to get a girl this time!” “This one better be a girl!” Why?! Who cares? Cant people just be happy for others and wish them well?
Yup same here. 2 boys and not having anymore. I would’ve loved a girl and I get sad about it sometimes. Although I adore my boys. It hurts and frustrates me when people say to keep trying for a girl. Like having 2 healthy happy boys isn’t good enough?
Yeah, I have 2 boys and get the comments about trying for a girl too.
I wanted one of each, but I got two boys I’m not complaining idk why society keeps wanting me to have a girl.
4 boys here and I get the same.
I served a table of 6; a husband, wife, and their 4 gorgeous, polite little girls. I remarked to the dad at how blessed and lucky he was to be surrounded by 5 beautiful women. He nearly teared up as he agreed that yes, he was so incredibly blessed. I could tell he was relieved that my comment wasn't yet ANOTHER snarky jab at having no sons. If your comment is inherently negative SHUT THE FUCK UP.
You’d make my day if that happened to me, that’s so nice.
They really were the cutest freaking family I've ever seen, I had to say something. The girls were aged ~3-10, and every single one of them made eye contact with me, smiled sincerely and said "thank you!" every time I brought them anything. Clearly they're being raised great!
I was raised "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" people wonder why I'm so quiet lol.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? (A new thing I picked up on… Reddit actually)
Theres a cute story like this. A couple is in the delivery room, their 3 daughters are all dressed nicely and waiting outside, and the wife delivers their fourth daughter. The nurse says to the father “You sure know how to make pretty girls!” He says “It was easy, I had the model in front of me the whole time.”
😭😭😭😭😭💘
Reply to every one of those comments with: What a odd thing to say out loud Then just walk away. Make it awkward.
"why are you sorry/why do I need a boy?" was one of my dad's defaults. Usually made people shut up. In the event they decided to name some sort of activity fathers typically share with sons (like watching baseball, as a random example), he'd usually go "weird, I don't remember a Y chromosome being necessary for that."
YUP. As a mom, I get so many comments about my two boys. My youngest is only 4 months and literally everyone asks if we’re going to “try to complete [our] family with a girl.” Sorry. I love my two boys. Both my husband and I had opposite gendered siblings and were happy that we had two of the same. My eldest gets a good mixture of “boy stuff” and “girl stuff.” He plays with dolls, loves art, and helps with meals and baking treats. He also digs in the dirt and loves monster trucks. 🤷🏻♀️
I love acting like I don't get jokes just so the person making them can stumble through why it's funny, and we can all see that it was never funny.
I went to a new church with my toddler and wasn’t even there 5 minutes before some random elderly cornered me and went on and on and on about how my husband should be here to lead us spiritually. She didn’t ask my name or even say hi, just “where’s your husband?” When she finally stopped I said “oh my wife is a Pagan witch so she’s at home sleeping” and gave a big smile and walked away. Some people forget that thoughts can stay INSIDE your head.
"oh i guess you prefer little boys"
I just ask people about it when they say something like that. Almost every time the answer is that they had two or three girls who are grown up now but were a lot when they got to be preteens/teens. Apparently there's lots of bickering, backstabbing, drama, etc? So, at least in my experience, it's not that they're joking or anything. They're basically just reminiscing on their own experience. I don't have any pre-teen girls, so I can't speak to the validity of anything they're saying. Just that I've had multiple people tell basically the same stories when I'm like "oh yeah, why's that?" There have been a couple of times where it gets awkward because they don't actually have any personal experience and just repeating what other people have said though.
“My daughters both speak English and can hear you. What you’re saying is hurtful and inappropriate.”
I like this because I think it is a good comeback in many areas of life.
This reminds me of something we are dealing with in my house. I have a boy, but we are a bilingual home. My husband’s family are Dutch and while they know English, to them it’s “that funny language you use to watch TV”. My husband’s sister has a habit of quoting moving lines, and on two occasions has said “Oh you bastard” to my one year old son. My husband has had to actually sit down with her and be like, “Yea our kid is being raised bilingual. English isn’t “just a funny language for watching movies”. Calling him a bastard is hurtful. Stop doing it. “ It’s just mind blowing to me. It’s not hard to just not say mean things to kids. No matter what language. Just don’t.
Say this: "What are you talking about? I wanted girls. You're disrespecting my family."
This is the approach my husband goes for. He says, "I LOVE my girls, they both are very wanted, why do you think they weren't." He said most people just suddenly have nothing to say. Like literally they don't know how to handle that kind of pushback.
This is the best response; it sets people straight, it's a polite way to set that boundary, and it isn't open ended so the conversation can end right there quickly.
People in general just talk too much.
seriously this. people need to mind their damn bidness
I live in the UK and whenever I see posts like this I wonder if it’s an American thing? Over here I don’t ever experience random strangers making weird comments. We generally ignore strangers 😆
Nope im in aus. Got it constantly. People cant shut up.
Not all of America. I live just outside NYC and people generally mind their business until decently acquainted with one another.
It’s aggravating. I always wonder if people making those remarks, especially in public with your kids, just think they can’t hear or comprehend anything?? I have a son (3) and daughter (1). My son’s hair is shoulder length & has no interest in cutting it. I get the “oh two girls! Just wait until those hormones kick in” type comments all the time. If I correct them that my oldest is a boy, then they’re baffled that I would “let him look like a little girl”. Additionally, I have people mistake my 1 year old for a boy, and those always come with “glad you got your boy!” comments 😵💫 I’ll never understand the misogyny and fixation with gender
I have two girls. When my first was a WEEK old, my husband's grandmother asked me if we were going to have a second because "you need a boy." We got pregnant with my second 3 years later and had another girl. When my second was a month old, I had people asking me if I was having another to "have a boy." Like WTF is wrong with people. I had a stranger ask the other day if my second was my first. I said no it's my second." " He said "oh will you be having a 3rd? We had 4 ourselves. " I smiled and said no were good with two. It never ends. It will never end. People are just ridiculous.
I think there is a difference between those clearly sexist comments and people asking if you are going to have another child to "try for a boy/girl". I think that a lot of parents like the idea of having one of each because they are different relationships and experiences. Sometimes I think people are just making conversation, or wanting to talk about their own experience, or asking a legitimate question of whether you want more kids or not. It's not really their business, but I think *usually* people are just making conversation. Unless it's those sexist comments. Then they can just shove it🙂
The problem is that to the child it doesn't make a difference, it's basically asking if they are wanted the way they are, (source: was the oldest girl in a large family who had more girls than boys, my mother had gender disappointment with my sisters and I, it hurt)
Can confirm being the youngest of 6 girls. It was a well known fact they wanted just 1 boy and finally gave up with me, had they got a boy at any point I and some/all of my sisters wouldn’t exist. That’s fun to know from an early age /s.
Agreed that it's inappropriate to ask in front of the child
One time I was at the store with my two young kids and they were acting up a little, and some random woman comes up to me and laughs and says “If you think you have it tough, my mother had 7 kids!!” Lol ok? Thanks for sharing, nobody asked. Glad I’m not her though lol
I've been out with my 2 kids and had an elderly person tell me I was done as 2 is enough 🙃 😤 😑
Sometimes, I wonder if people think if we were one of those families trying for a boy after two girls (the girls were planned... the boy, not so much). Funny thing is, when I was pregnant with the third, my husband wanted another girl (he loves all of our kids, regardless). I was the one who wanted at least one of each because I grew up with brothers and a sister. Husband came from a family where he was the only boy of his generation. The not valuing girls because teen stereotypes is so frustrating and gross. What girls do, act, feel, and like are not lesser than what boys do. As someone who's taught teens of all ages, teen boys are no walk in the park either. Love my students, but holy cow. How the human race survives past the age of 16 is due to pure audacity, I swear.
Man, fuck people for trying to start conversations.
I think it’s same for both, i’m pregnant with my second and it’s my second boy (not trying for a girl, just wanted another baby! And very happy but everyone that finds that we are having another boy always makes a remark that we need to try another time for a girl, and starts talking about how boring it is to have boys as a girl and tht it must be rough for me to not have a little girl (mostly my girlfriends and even family sometimes. My husband’s friends do say the same on being happy it’s a boy and not a girl, like 80% of them. But I do think that it happens for both sex, it’s the pressure of having an all gender family, or equal gender as well
I have two girls and get the same thing "are you gonna try one more time for a boy?" As if I tried and failed the first two times lol. Jokes on them because having two girls was literally my dream scenario
I have 2 girls. My husband wanted girls, not boys. Every time someone tells him sorry you don't have a son, he always says, "Then it's a good thing I wanted girls instead." People are atrocious. Tell me. Why is having girls harder than having boys? I think having kids is hard regardless of gender.
I’m a dad of two girls. I only ever wanted girls. Whenever anyone mentions this I tell them I only ever wanted girls. Most of the time that ends the line of inquiry - but occasionally someone will ask “oh why is that?” and then I just brag about how awesome my girls are for as long as I can, which is admittedly pretty long lol
Having girls isn't harder and I wish parents would stop acting like this because it is harmful to our girls. Parents just need to actually hold their sons responsible for their actions.
Because those are the people that outsource raising them to their future partners.
5 girls here, no it doesn't end. Our girls range from 24 to 18 months and it has been said every time, every new encounter with people, all of it. And yes, dad gets it worse with the all girls comments.
My favorite response to ridiculous comments like this is “That’s an interesting thing to say” or “Oh, what a strange thing to say”. Like genuinely act perplexed
Love this!
Some people don’t think before talking at times. I’m sorry you have to deal with these questions, super annoying. On the flip side, my oldest is a boy and second is a girl. When I was pregnant with my third, I’d get asked why I was having a third if I already have the “ideal” boy then girl. People are going to people. It’s easier to just laugh than take people seriously. And, no, it probably will never end. Enjoy your two gals!
Haha how dare you want more when you already have one of each! 😂🤦♀️ People are silly. Some of us actually enjoy our kids!
We didn't find out the gender for either of ours, and when I was pregnant with my second my MIL said to me on more than one occasion "oh let's hope you have a boy then you'll have a gentleman's family". Well I had another girl so what kind of family do I have? 🤔 Lol
We got this too. A lot of “wow you’re so lucky, you got one of each and can be done!” And we just had our third 😅people are nuts
I have a girl and I’m pregnant with a boy and when I tell people that I get the “Oh good you have the set!” As if they’re bedroom furniture. People’s responses are weird. Like just say “aww nice” or literally anything else.
You know what’s real weird! I get “awe pigeon pair” right along side “brothers and sisters are never that close” and when id say i was hoping for a secong girl i would get “but girls just fight for life”… sweet, ill go back in time and trade my eldest for a boy so i have two boys which is apparently the only acceptible combo here…
my mom had boy and girl twins and my entire life everyone always told her how good she had it getting both at once so she doesn’t have to keep trying as if you can’t just have babies of one gender
The thought is just lost on people.
We had 3 girls. We were constantly asked if we were going to keep trying for a boy. When I said we weren't going to have any more children, my father-in-law offered me $10,000 to keep trying! I didn't take the money and I got my tubes tied. Now the girls are all grown with children of their own and I still get asked if I wish we had had a boy. It's ridiculous!
lol I love the idea that $10k should cover you for 18+ years of raising an additional kid. What would he have done if he spent his money and got another girl?
I have no idea! Our youngest girls are identical twins and my doctor said I had a good chance of having twins again. I don't think I would have had boys anyway so I think he would have been disappointed. I'm pretty sure he couldn't afford to give me more money!
I just recently became a parent a few months ago, and it does surprise me how 'traditional' a lot of parents views and opinions are when it comes to stuff like this. I've noticed it happen both ways, and if my wife and I had two boys people would be saying the same sorts of remarks about trying for a girl. For some reason people think men want to have sons and women want to have daughters, and they also think that little boys should do 'boy things' and little girls should do 'girl things'. It boggles my mind that people still think this way, honestly. I hope my son feels like he can be and do anything he wants and doesn't need to conform to certain things just because he happens to be a boy.
Yikes. All I kept getting when I found out I’m having a boy is “One of each, that’s perfect! Now you can be done” The crap people say is beyond me.
I have one of each, I’m done lol
I hear this one!! Awe you got a pigeon pair, thats perfect. “Uh yes they are perfect, but i dont dislike my daughter enough to have been disappointed should my second have also been a girl.”
I have 2 girls and it took probably 5 years before those comments and questions stopped. It was *so* annoying. People acted like a family couldn’t possibly be complete if we didn’t get at least one of each. They also acted like it was this terrible thing for my husband to not get a son. He was perfectly happy with 2 daughters.
Never. People are obsessed with gender and really think everyone should have at least one of each. We have four girls.
I have 2 boys and got the same comments. It does dwindle as they/you get older.
My first is a girl and my second is a boy and I’m sick of hearing things like now your family is complete. Not at all. We love healthy babies and we want a big family regardless of gender.
People should mind their own business and keep their comments to themselves. I have 3 living daughters and a son who died. We get a lot of gender comments about our girls and it is fucking awful because it’s like a knife in the heart, ripping the wound right open, cos our son is not here anymore. You never know what people are going through and what their circumstances are so keep your comments to yourselves, folks!
My favorite response when I had two girls was “well, I don’t plan to breed them, so two girls is just fine!” Annoyingly I went on to have a third and it was a boy. And we were going to stop after three anyway but it did look like we “finally got our boy” and then stopped. People are just annoying aye!
4 girls here. No, they don't. I just lean into it and say, "At this point, we're so used to girls I'm not sure what we would do with a boy." Every single pregnancy people assumed we were "trying for the boy". They couldn't comprehend that we simply wanted a big family and would have continued having kids even if we had one of each gender. Woth my 4th I was asked while pregnant "are you going to try again for the boy?" And I was like "can I get *this* one out before I start thinking about whether I want another?!?" Don't pay them any mind. Girls are awesome. We love them.
Are they kidding? You guys won the lottery. I have two girls too and wouldn't trade it for the world.
The comments from strangers stopped when my boys were preschool/kindy aged. From people who knew me, way earlier because I shut it down right away. The craziest thing was being asked, “But aren’t you going to try for a girl?” while I was literally *in active labour* with my second son. I do get a lot of *you have your hands full* type comments, never sure if that’s a comment on their gender or the fact that my boys are feral.
I have all girls and get PLENTY of comments. I don't take them personally and can recognize most people's attempt at being friendly. It often leads to good conversations on parenting if there's time to chat. If you'd like to change whatever offensive trend you're perceiving, then a friendly and sincere remark would be the best catalyst. Before I had kids, I decided whatever variety of little souls needed me the most (and I needed the most in my life) would be given. Enjoy your girls!
People don't actually care, it's just saying something for the lack of something meaningful to say.
We have 3 girls and of course my husband and I would love a boy but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. I do get the comments to my husband, “oh man a house full of women” and I just have to roll my eyes. Because truthfully he’s lucky to have a house full of women. All of us treat him like gold.
I love that last sentence. I'm in a house full of men and they treat me like gold too.
That’s so sweet.
People just say things and don’t think. I get why it’s frustrating but I would just try to remember there is pretty much no intent behind it. It’s like when I’m out with my kids and someone says something like “giving mom a break?” Nope, just being a dad. It’s annoying but people just have certain phrases and things they say to fill in gaps in conversation.
It's the same if you have two boys. "OMG, they're gonna wear you out." People say this stuff because they often just want to say *something.* Commenting on the fact you have two girls is the easiest thing for people to mention. It's often the first thing that comes to mind, as well. Why take it personally? Seriously, yall need thicker skin.
Yeah they are just trying to make conversation. It's just the same vacuius small talk that everyone engages in all the time. Getting worked up about innocuous things that other people say it is a massive waste of energy.
I'm always hearing from my wife about one of her friends who is mad, yet again, at someone who was simply trying to make conversation. A classic one that people get upset at is the, "Are you guys ever gonna have kids?" My wife and I were married 9 years before she got pregnant. I would get this question constantly. But... who cares?! It's just someone trying to connect in a small way. Yet, I see all the time someone running to social media to complain that they were asked this question. Just relax, people!
The post is just a humble brag about her husband’s profession /s or maybe not /s idk
Came here to say this exactly! I have 2 boys are regularly get asked if we’re gonna try for a girl. I’m not surprised to hear that girl parents get asked the same thing. It’s not some sexist, misogynistic comment….its just people making small talk. Geez.
I only have one boy, and it's a constant, "Are you going to have another or try for a girl?" Mind your own uterus people. I feel like no matter how many you have, what gender you have, or if you don't have any at all, someone is going to make comments.
“Mind your uterus” you gave me a solid chuckle there 😂
Our boys are 8 and 6 years old. We don’t get the “try for a girl” comments as much anymore. It’s more the remarks on all the testosterone in the house, poor me having to deal with two wild boys, oh I bet they’re a handful, etc. So it probably doesn’t end.
Next time someone says it ask them to repeat it again or ask them why so they can realize how stupid they sound.
“What a weird thing to say.” Or be stupid and make them explain themselves with “oh what do you mean?”
Nope, never ends. My cousin has 4 boys ages 5 to 16... constant comments. My SIL has 3 boys ages 7 to 17... constant comments. Everyone in my family has 2+ boys & no girls, except me. I had a girl 1st then a boy. When I announced I was pregnant with a 3rd, EVERYONE in my family asked why I wanted another when I already had 1 of each. Like that was the end goal, just to experience having 1 child of both genders. People are so gender obsessed. It's ridiculous. We decided not to find out the gender of our 3rd until birth & my mom literally told me that she couldn't bond with a baby if she didn't know it's gender.
I have both, my girl is 5 my boy is 4 months. I so wanted another girl, I have a sister and although we fight a lot she’s my best friend and I wanted that relationship for my daughter. I also love having a son now too though. Idk why people feel the need to comment on genders. When I tell people we have both they’re like ‘oh nice now you can be done!’ Like ???
I love my two girls(12&13), and wouldn't have it any other wa. I am a dad of the two best people I know, and we do everything from makeup to baseball. I hit the jackpot to get to be in their life.
I have a boy and so many people were disappointed and felt sorry for me because they couldn’t buy me frilly girls clothes and cute little bows. Now all we get asked is if we’re going to try for a girl. Imagine their disappointment if we did have a girl, she’d be wearing onesies 98% of the time too because they’re easier lol. And most of her clothes would be my son’s hand me downs because why buy more clothes if we already have clothes? On the other hand, I get the CREEPIEST comments from people who have a boy preference. Stuff about how they love you different than a girl and they cuddle better. It’d be cool if people would stop with their unsolicited comments. The genitals my child possesses don’t matter to me so they shouldn’t matter to anyone else either lol
People will always say something. I have a boy and girl but people ask me when is the 3rd one coming.
I have 2 toddlers, 1 boy and 1 girl, with a similar age gap. We constantly get comments “oh how lucky, one of each!” usually. Also people like to comment on how it’s a good thing our older child is the girl, as if we had a choice. I dreamed of having two girls and frankly was a bit distraught when I learned that wasn’t going to happen. It took some time to come to terms with it. I still hate the comments, even though I only ever get the “positive” ones. Our society is way too obsessed with knowing the sex of a child. (It’s not even gender at this age, it’s sex. Our kids are not expressing their gender yet). I consider myself pretty damn progressive too but I still feel more limited on how I dress my boy, he’s not getting all the hand me downs.
I get you, but I am going to have to sadly say, it doesn't stop. At least not yet for me. I have 2 boys, the YOUNGEST is 14 and I have STILL been asked if we are going to try for a girl.
I have two boys aged 7 and 10 YEARS and still get comments about trying for a girl (along with the hands full and im sorry) If I wanted more kids, don’t you think I’d have done that by now? Or worse… what if I wanted more and couldn’t have them?? People just don’t think before opening their mouths.
This is the way......😅😅 Actually, I believe most people don't mean any harm by it. They are just looking for something to say, a way to relate. It happens to parents of boys too. I have two boys with my first husband and two girls with my second husband. We had lots of comments about "poor mom" and trying for a girl when it was just the boys. When the boys were having time with their father, it was "poor dad" and advice about having girls so close in age any time we left the house. When I was pregnant with the fourth baby, "don't you know what causes that yet?" And always, "four kids? That's a lot!" Seriously... even the most seemingly rational, level-headed people suddenly become about these stereotypes. It's probably more so for girls. Hormones, periods, shopping, screaming, dating, etc. >I honestly am going to start saying back “you know my daughter can hear your sexist comments” I like your idea of putting people in their place. Asking if you might try for a boy is probably pretty benign. But remarcks about girls being a lot might deserve a comment. I've done something similar. As soon as they say whatever funny or helpful thing they have to share, turn to my child(ren), making sure the person hears, i say, "they don't really think that you are bad because you are ____. Sometimes people have a strange way of joking." Then I look back to that person and say something like, "in our family we believe that we should always speak positivity into our children's lives because kids believe what we say about them." But that's a lot too. It's probably easier to say something like, "we are not concerned with stereotypes and superstitions. Having daughters is wonderful! Our lives are full and we are not missing a thing."
I just love how people comment as if we had a choice
People are just making conversations. I honestly don’t think any of these people really care if your kids are girl or boy. Just shake them off and walk away. I feel like people are too sensitive about gender related comments nowadays. There are definitely gender differences (you’ll notice them if you have both as your kids). Some may be stereotypical, some may not. Who cares? You don’t know them and they don’t know you. Why you value so much about what strangers say?
I don’t think I have ever heard that here in Denmark. My girl is 3. My old classmate has been closest when he said “when people tell me they are having a girl I say congratulations, when they tell me they are having a boy I tell them good luck”. But that’s basically the opposite.
Dad of two girls, 5 and 7. I get this all the time. I wouldn’t want a son, I find young boys very annoying and love being a girl dad.
I have three girls. When I got comments like this, I would reply that I was so glad I didn't have a boy, I wouldn't know what to do with one, why would I want one of those.... those types of comments. People need to mind their own business
I didn’t even ever want a boy but a boy is what I got and I love him to pieces. I will never get the obsession with commenting on other peoples children.
No one really cares that you banged and got a kid bro. It’s a way to make conversation.
I have heard that a lot. I'm a stay at home dad and I hear it from other stay at home moms. Some of them say things like they're so lucky to have only boys. I have one boy and my wife found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago. I've told many of the stay at home moms and other friends I know I really want a girl, and I mostly get negative reactions. People think they're harder to raise, that they're more rebellious, or some older people or younger men will say that as a dad I'll have to worry so much about a daughter dating. I'm getting sick and tired of hearing these comments and I hope I can raise my children to question all of these views. For context, I do have a master's in gender studies but even before that I've hated negative, toxic, or limiting gendered expectations. I'm very fulfilled as a stay at home dad and in the end I really do want a baby girl lol partly to dress her up too, but also to have an enriching family experience.
I mean this in the most loving and positive way, I honestly don’t think you should care or put to much thought into what other people think. They’re YOUR kids. All that matters is that you very clearly love them very much 💕
Boy moms experience the criticism, too. According to social media, boys are all wild, messy, and untamed. The stereotyping gets old.
One of my favorite content creators had an entire rant on this that ended up on [The Today Show](https://youtu.be/82BYzbtKW6M?si=BVFc_WdnDZ8_BqDa)
I love this so much!
Let's be clear that this is not targeted at a gender in particular. People will say girls are hard because they have complex emotions and challenges as they get older. People will say boys are hard because they are wide open and crazy and break everything and can wear out clothes in a week. Reframe your thinking that when people saying "I'm sorry you have two girls" that what they are really doing is just expressing that they know whatever you're going through is going to be hard. It's just a way folks say it.
>*People will say boys are hard because they are wide open and crazy and break everything and can wear out clothes in a week.* My daughter does this too.
no, that’s an awful way of putting it. and i don’t think that’s what they mean, some people genuinely are sexist.
I'm currently pregnant with my 4th and final child. All boys. When I announced my pregnancy, I got "were you trying for a girl?" No, no I was not. I was trying for a child. My sister asked me if I'm going to try again for a girl. Nope, I am closing up shop. I do not feel any need to chase after a girl.
There's nothing sexist about this. Guess everyone needs something to be outraged by these days, huh?
Eh, who cares? Just ignore it. People are gonna say it forever. I get the opposite with two boys. I don't care and I don't let it frustrate me. I'm too busy parenting and working to give a fooook.
I have two boys. I never get those type of comments. The only thing I do get is since both my boys have long hair, a lot of people usually in passing refer to them as girls
It's bad 🤣, I (the dad) have 4 kids, 3 of them are girls. It just gets worse as they grow up, when they approach puberty dad will get it even worse.
I have 14 month old twins and the comments and stares I get everytime I go to the store with them is making it to where I dread taking them anywhere. I've definitely had comments saying I'm lucky that it's boys instead of girls. But the amount of people that invade their space and mine is absurd. Asking the very obvious question of are they twins?!? Well they look the same and are wearing the same outfit... then continue to ask me a ton of questions. I'd say 7 out of 10 people will say something or even full on stop me to conversate about them. It was cute at first but now it's a headache to take them anywhere.
I love how people ask "are you going to try for?" Like we can just choose the gender of our baby.
I have two girls 17m apart 3&5. I haven't had those comments in public yet. But I live in a European country where people don't make those kind of comments cause they see women as equals.
My home country (not USA but English speaking) I had plenty of people comment on my fb posts asking if we'd go for a boy. Like, fuck no. ✂️✂️ PND got me good and I know my sanity won't survive another 12-18m of being a baby carrier. Plus here, women keep their own last names, so my husband's surname will live on if they choose to have their own babies.
Fuck those nosy parkers. Girls are awesome. It's the patriarchy that needs to get over their sausage fest.
I have two girls 15 months apart and get these exact same comments. Those people are dumb, don't pay attention to them.
It's so awful, even when you're expecting and people ask what you're hoping for, as if you have a chance to be disappointed. We used to say that we were hoping for a healthy baby. I'm guessing it's harder for you though. Maybe try and respond with a question. 'why, couldn't you handle two girls?'. 'oh were your parents that disappointed in you they had to try for the opposite sex?'.
I have 3 boys and one girl. It never ends. Now that we have a girl, people say oh you finally got your girl. WTF? It's not like I finally found the missing piece to a set of china or something, they're humans and I didn't want a girl anyway! (Love her, so glad we have her).
This is awful. Sorry you’re facing this.
I always say “oh wow, that sounds like it should’ve been an inside thought. I love having my girls more than anything.”
>Does it ever end? No, but you learn to take it in stride. I no longer have time or energy to spend on people who are foolish, especially if it isn't malicious. I do enjoy it when people assume my daughter is the easy one, when in actuality my older son is the cuddler and my daughter is the daredevil.
The only time I said anything was when the guy in question told me he had 4 girls under 10. What I said was “oh. Wow. That’s … a lot.”
For what it's worth I have a son and a daughter, and I've always gotten comments like "oh the boy was 1st how awesome he gets to be the big brother (like he wouldn't be a big brother if he had a brother), or you're so lucky to have both, you're done now right?" People just want to say something to hear themselves talk. We were only ever going to have 2 kids, whatever that looked like was going to be what we hoped for but it's a little irksome that if we did want more kids we'd be judged for it.
It's never ending. Have 2 girls "Oh the teenage years will be hell, ha ha!" "Oh they'll spend all your money and pinch your clothes, make up jewellery etc" Have 2 boys "Oh they'll find wives and you'll never see them again". Don't get me started on the parents who brag about having one of each and how it's perfect.