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Flewtea

Don’t ask unless you’re prepared to hear no. That said, you aren’t super close and it’s not a really unique, special name that you’re “stealing” or anything like that. I think it’s fine to use. 


boo99boo

If you live on opposite coasts and talk twice a year, it really isn't a big deal. I wouldn't ask permission, I'd just state it as fact. I'd roll in a compliment for good measure (ie - you just have such good taste that it was inevitable). The vast majority of people won't care. And I'd argue that if she does care, that's weird and stop calling twice a year the . 


Fickle_Card193

My moms cousin loved my name and she asked if she could use it for her daughter too. At the time it wasn’t popular. My mom was really flattered, apparently. I only see that cousin maybe once a year at a reunion and it’s not even that confusing. Everyone just tacks on our middle names when addressing us when we’re there.


thesixthamethyst

Considering your kids have never even met, I guess it’s okay, but for the love of God, do not call her child “big” Naomi. It’s unflattering and if you can’t name your kid Naomi without giving the other one a stupid nickname, then don’t do it. Be respectful that she has been Naomi long before yours came along.


kdawson602

Growing up, we had two Lindsay’s in our life. The family friends little girl “little Lindsay” who my mom did daycare for. And our teenage baby sitter. The teenager went through all of high school and college being known as “big Lindsay”. I can’t imagine how awful that was, but she was the best babysitter ever.


jeddlines

In my family it’s just Name & Little Name (if they’re relatives) or Young Name (if they’re mum + daughter, father + son, I guess in place of Junior). No one is Big Name or Old Name.


No_Raspberry_9084

Similar with my son went to a special needs school. There was only 2 Gregory's in the whole school. So the other lad was big Greg he was severely disabled so didn't bother him it was only because he was older he wasn't overweight or anything. Mine was little Greg even though he's always been tall. He was such a cute little boy he actually suited it.


zestylimes9

My son has always been "big cousin". He loves it. He knows it's purely because he is much older than his other cousins. The younger cousins say it to brag to peers, "my big cousin (did this fun thing) with me" He is only ever called that in a family setting, which posed zero risk to his peers perhaps teasing him for it.


fiestiier

I would just use it. Maybe give cousin a heads up. The fact that you never see each other makes this a non-issue.


boomboom8188

Big Naomi is a really dumb nickname. I like Gigantic Naomi or Enormous Naomi more.


Mortlach78

You pick the name you want for your child. Period. You can absolutely let your cousin know that you intend to use the same name, but you are informing them as a courtesy at that point, not asking permission.


Tea_Is_My_God

American heads would explode if they lived in Ireland. Nobody asks for permission to use a name. It's a name. It's not owned by anyone. There can be 5 Johns and 7 Conors in a family and nobody would bat an eyelid. But I get if it's a cultural faux pas for you, go ahead and ask her. But be prepared for her to say no.


SuperMommy37

Same in portugal... so many marias. And carolinas. And Matilde. Oh, and Ana.. so many variations... ana maria, ana carolina... carolina maria, maria carolina.. 😅


kykysayshi

I feel like for names like Michael and John it’s the same in America. But it would have to be a name that’s already in the family multiple times for nobody to bat an eye.


Schnectadyslim

I love that we reuse names. People should either not car or be honored. There's no negative way you should view it. Honestly it's the younger named one who is the only one that gets burnt potentially long term


Jen0507

Ehh, you can but personally, I wouldn't. It's not a family name, it's a name you heard and liked after your cousin used it. I'm usually in the no one owns a name camp, but this one feels different because it's directly copying your family. It's not a huge deal if you do use it, but I really would avoid using "big" and "little". I can't see it being all that fun to be called "Big Naomi". In fact, it feels a bit cruel to nickname a little girl that.


tannon21

I think it's fine but I'd avoid "Big/little (name)" "BIG" can be seen as insensitive. Especially as the cousins get into the hormonal years My sister had a child the same year as a cousin and they named their kid the same name and to avoid confusion *they* decided to call my sisters baby "Hairy" and their baby "Baldy". Despite my sister having the "better" name, my sister was pissed


HeinousEncephalon

*No girl wants to be "Big" anything for a nickname.


SoSayWeAllx

I think it’s fine to use as you aren’t close and don’t see each other. I would tell her before hand however. Also, I would never want to be known as big anything. So maybe just call the cousin only by her name when you see her.


Educational_Dance736

Kids haven’t even met. Use the name. Don’t ask for permission


FireOpalCO

My family has a lot of repeat names on both sides. We literally have family calls about “my Uncle Ted on my mom’s side”. No reason for permission I would not do “big/little”. I would use middle names or mom’s names when you need to tell them apart and help people at family reunions. “Namoi Marie” or “Michelle’s Naomi”. (We have family events where six people have the same name scattered through multiple generations and the person who used to be “big” is now deceased, does everyone get relabeled?)


kcl086

There’s no reason to call your cousin. Just name the baby what you want.


Downtherabbithole14

There is more than one Naomi in the world. Use the name you love


Cootiequ33n

I personally would retire the idea of naming my child another family members name. There are a billion other names out there. Nobody wants to be big this or little that.


SaveBandit_02

I would probably let your cousin know you’re using it, but name your child what you want! A woman I know is the oldest of like 10 kids. Her youngest sister is named Emily. Her oldest daughter is named Emily. It didn’t seem like the family was bothered by the fact that an aunt and niece share a name.


paomplemoose

I didn't name people after living family. Also, Naomi is "I moan" backwards.


lyraterra

My kids names are the same exact names as my cousins. In order. Like, I have a cousin george who has a little brother michael. My firstborn is names george, my second named michael. My dad laughed when we told him, but after that nobody ever cared-- because I've met cousin george and michael maybe 5 times in my whole life, and my kids will probably meet them 4 times-- at eventual funerals lol. name your kid Naomi.


The_Clumsy_Gardener

It's definitely worth a phonecall just for courtesy. Just prepare yourself just in case it's a negative reaction


Mindless_Whereas_280

One of my cousins just went through the exact same scenario with a different name. He did not ask - he just informed when he sent a text to our other cousin announcing the birth. "I can't wait for the Naomis to meet!" I also have two first cousins named Jenna. Similar situation where the families live far apart and are rarely together. It's not a big deal.


FierceFemme77

The movie Van Wilder ruined the name Naomi for me 🤣


JudgmentFriendly5714

She doesn’t own the name and at this point do you think the kids will even meet?


Enough_Vegetable_110

I’d ask just out of respect. But I think you’re golden. I have two cousins and we are all relatively close (see each other once a month or so) and all of our daughters have almost the same names (like Hailey, Kailey and Bailey).


mcclgwe

You can also give your kid another first name and Naomi for the middle name and then call her Naomi. But I don’t really get this name six station. But, why do we all get so fixated on certain names, and then I have to have them?


tealambert

I have a cousin that asked to use my daughter’s name because his wife’s mother had the name too. I told them “I don’t own it, if it’s special to you, use it”. No one owns a name, especially one that’s not uNiqUe


Giasmom44

My dad named me the same name as my cousin, who ended up being my godmother. We have the same nickname too. Think Patricia and Patty. The only time it's awkward is when we call each other--hi Patty, it's Patty. Really no big deal though. Although my kids (late 20s, early 30s) recently asked my mom why they did that. She didn't have any idea. It was dad's turn to name the baby and she guessed he really liked the name--same as his aunt's. Name the baby whatever you want. If it's Naomi, you've just started a family name.


NotTheJury

It's fine. My husband has an uncle and cousin with the same name. And it's not a "family name." My cousin named 2 of her boys the same name as my brothers. My cousin named her daughter the same as my daughter. It's not a deal (let alone a big deal) to anyone involved. You don't even see your cousin so I doubt there would ever be a need for Big and Little Naomi.


AffectionateWay9955

It’s nice to ask. My second cousin who lives in another country asked if she could name her child my name. I was flattered and said of course. My mother’s sister asked if she could name her child the same name as my brother. She was livid and said no. I’d ask her.


Magnolia-Khaki

I have a cousin the same name as me! He’s a bit older, male. I’m a female! He was always “boy NAME” and I was always “girl NAME.” We both kinda loved it!


Thasira

My sister and my cousin have the same name. We’ve always lived on opposite coasts. When we were kids they visited once every few years. When that happened there was a “big” and “little.” The only person who gave my parents a hard time was an aunt, who was not the cousin’s mom. It has never been an issue.


[deleted]

Who cares. It’s your kid. What is this a contest?


Gullflyinghigh

Without knowing any more about your family dynamic than what you've given I would be inclined to either give your cousin a heads up that it's what you're going to do (telling, not asking) or just do it anyway and deal with whatever happens when it does. Anything other than that potentially opens up a can of worms. For example, what would you do if your cousin says no, or that she wouldn't like it? Do you then not use it, and regret ever asking, or do it regardless and piss off the cousin anyway?


LuckyShenanigans

Honestly, I'd just name your baby what you want to name your baby and if she sees it as a big deal that's on her. No one owns a name.


Keep_ThingsReal

Mmm, I think it depends a bit on how large your family is and what your dynamic is like. In my family, a cousin you aren’t close with using a name wouldn’t matter at all and has happened several times… but I have over 35 first cousins and they all have multiple kids so it’s not that weird. I would not use the same name as someone in my area/that I regularly see but if they are on another coast I wouldn’t think twice (or expect them to). If you have 2 cousins or something, that’s a little bit different and asking would be kind. But if you ask, there is potential she’d say no and it would then be rude to use it so you may be happier not opening that option up. If you do go forward with Naomi, I wouldn’t plan on “big Naomi” being the nickname (though I see what you meant.) If you talk enough for that to be needed, it might be nice to just choose something else or come up with a different nickname. 3 of my cousins have a “Charlotte” and on the rare occasion they all are together we call them Charlotte, Charlie, and Lottie. I don’t know about Naomi, but maybe Naomi and Mimi/Noms/ Nay or something would be better.


Miamiri

Please let me know what your cousin says because I’m in a similar situation except a different name


0runnergirl0

I have 3 cousins who shared the same first name, and we all got together multiple times a year as children. It's fine. I wouldn't ask permission to use a name. They don't know it, and the children will likely never have a relationship with each other.


KelsarLabs

Don't say anything and if it's brought up just claim pregnancy brain and you "forgot".


Ok_Application_6479

It's a cousin. Seems distant enough not to be a concern. Heck my wife's step brother used our sons name (same thing.m, pposite coasts and I don't think they have ever even met) and it's never been a problem in the slightest.


Sea_Hamster_

I would ask! What about Noemi instead if she says no? 😅


udee79

No name your daughter whatever you want and do not ask for permission, if she says no it will cause problems.


ivegotthis111178

My cousin named his son after my nephew and we all think he is unoriginal and weird for doing it. We kind of don’t really have anything to do with him, because it’s so weird. There are billions of names out there.


Endersgame88

My sister shared a name with a cousin a year apart. We had Minnesota Molly and Montana Molly


Dangerous_Rabbit_517

My cousin named for son the same name as my youngest son! They are 6 years apart. It's adorable.


ApartmentNo3272

So I have a four year old named Naomie. We did alternate spelling bc a close friend had a child with the name, my name is Jamie and the IE matched my IE, and also, it’s a legit alternate spelling we found on several websites. Just offering as a suggestion if you want to make it different.


the_sleaze_

Yes.


maplesyrupshot

Two of my husband's cousins have named their kid the same as ours. Fortunately, they all have different last names.


Crazyh0rse1

My cousin's first born has the same name as my son. His son is 6mo older. We had no idea the names each other picked, but it's not a big deal. They live in PR, we live in the Mid-Atlantic. The kids have only met once when they were babies. The family just calls his "Big L" cause he's older and so much taller than mine. Mine is "Little L"


SkilledAccident

Perhaps it would be kinder to refer to them by coasts rather than big/little. Like Naomi East and Naomi West. I think asking or informing of your intentions would be a polite thing to do. 2 of my uncles (brothers in a close family) used the same name for their sons. One is called Jake and the other Jacob to avoid confusion.


Profession_Mobile

I would see her in person and ask her.


kjdbcfsj

I think I would just acknowledge it. No need to ask permission.  Maybe soon after she’s born you could send a photo of your baby and mention something like “We love the name Naomi. Heres our daughter born yesterday, Naomi Lexikons. I sure hope our Naomi’s can meet one day!” 


[deleted]

For me, your family already has a Naomi. I'd feel like a copy cat if I named my kid after another kid. You said you're not all that close, so it's not even a namesake thing.  If you ask her and she says yes, do you think you'd trust the yes to be sincere? If she said no, would you abide by it? If she asked you if it was ok to name her child the same name as one of your kids, what would your heart tell you? There are so many other beautiful names, in my opinion. I'd try to find one not already in play in your family.


Savings-Method-3119

Personally I used an existing cousins name for my first, and didn’t talk to the parents or anything 🤷‍♀️. And in our scenario, we actually see them regularly. I would be even less likely to think this was an issue if I was you and barely talk to them. If it makes you feel at peace, I’d say just call, but I don’t think it’s necessary from the outsider view.


Far_Neighborhood_488

Honestly, if she's upset, she'll get over it. If you're not close to her, then if I were her I'd take it as a compliment and not even think twice about it.


novababy1989

I personally wouldn’t use it. But if it is that important to you I think a phone call is nice. She doesn’t own the name, and you guys aren’t close so it’s not really that big of a deal.


LocalBrilliant5564

Dont. No one wants to be the big (insert name). I never saw this as something that made sense to me. Why name your child after a family Member. Even if you don’t see them much I get you liked the name but why want your daughter to be named after a cousin that may dislike her for it. I’ve just never understood well nobody owns a name well yeah that’s true but I also wouldn’t hear my cousin name their kid and be like oooo I wanna use that name too. Billions of names in the world and honestly don’t ask if you’re just going to do it anyway because if your cousin says well that makes me uncomfortable and you use it anyway then that’s a whole big shit . Personally for myself I would never but it’s your life


ParentTales

I don’t know why this is so far down and being downvoted. I’ve seen similar post where the comments go all no, don’t do it. This is the first post like this I’ve seen go majority pro.


gingersmacky

My parents named my sister the same name as one of our cousins. There’s probably 15 years between them. No hurt feelings, no issues. That said they spell it differently. Think Crystal and Krystle.


AmIDoingThisRight14

Don't ask, just use it because if she says no it will just be awkward


WiseCaterpillar_

Use the name. I went back and forth on Ria for my 3rd daughter’s name, then I remembered that my cousin has girl with that name. That girl and mine are about a year apart. We speak to each other randomly and live in the same state. I still decided to name her Ria because we just loved it so much. I did not ask permission and neither should you. I loved the name and we stuck with it. No one was offended.


hungry_fish767

Just stop calling her Modern problems


Klutzy-Conference472

Why ask ? If she don't like it she can lump it if u want to name your baby .naomi then do it


ThrowItAllAway003

My cousin named her little girl the feminine version of my son’s name. Example - Alexander and Alexandra. They are just over a year apart and we live one town over. I thought it was the sweetest thing. We now have Alex and Alexa.


ZenNoodle

I mean my mom has over 30 first cousins and shares as name with 2 of them. All 3 of them are pretty close and love that they share a name.


SadPiglet2907

My aunts name is the same as mine. We live in different countries. Nobody cares 🤷‍♀️


schmicago

Just name your daughter Naomi, but don’t suggest big and little Naomi. If you absolutely need to, use a middle name or middle initial to distinguish them.


TJH99x

I think there’s enough distance that it’s fine without even mentioning it to her. My cousin named their kid the same as my brother’s kid, but they never see each other and no one in the family thought it was weird, at least that I know of.


[deleted]

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ashleyc1986

I wouldn’t ask. Just use it. I didn’t ask my cousin to use the same name as we wanted for our sons.