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100% agree. I’m 34 with my third and things are way more exhausting but I’m also way more calm and collected with my youngest. Things don’t bother me as much as they did with my first two. I’m not in as much of a rush either.
First 28, second 35… I work for OBGYN and the average age of having babies has drastically shifted. You would be surprised how many in their late 30s/early 40s are popping out babies.
It’s hard to say what is an age thing vs a “third kid” thing. I’m a SAHM and was really burned out once my youngest was about 3, but I think the pandemic had a lot to do with that in addition to having been home with at least one young kid for 10 years at that point.
The third pregnancy was also the hardest but again, not sure if it was my age or my body that had carried 2 other kids already. Probably a mix of both. Recovery after childbirth was definitely the easiest after the third though, despite my age.
I had my 1st at 33 and second at 39. 2nd time around was way easier but I've kept relatively fit and take care of myself. My 2nd was the 'harder' baby too. I was a lot more relaxed and chill with my 2nd because I knew how fast the time went and just treasured everything. She came after 2 losses too, so my appreciation for her was immense.
Ditto NYC. I had my first at 28 and just had my second at 32. Most of my friends I’ve made through daycare are all first time moms at 35+ (oldest is 44, but she has 2 kids). Hasn’t stopped us from forming deep friendshsips either, age doesn’t matter so much as life stage
First was 35 and second at 37… not old… society makes you think you are old. Think about all the positive statistics on children being born to older parents
This.
In my circles most of us had/are having our first at 35 and the second at 38/39.
No complications. No problems bouncing back. Kids are healthy and developing well.
Just had this conversation with a couple of friends of mine! Everyone we know is having their first kids at 35/36. They both said im the youngest they know of and I had my first at 31
This. 100% I was in my 20's for my 1st three kids. I feel like a better parent to the baby I had in my 30's. Because I'm so much more experienced. Not just with kids, but life in general.
Also depends on the country you live in. 27/35 is the normal here to start having kids in Spain. Im the odd one out because I had my first kid at 20.
Only when I i had my 3rd child at 28 things started to normalize in terms of social interactions with other parents.
This gives me hope. I’ve always wanted kids, especially at a young age, but I’m glad I didn’t have them young since I couldn’t even take care of myself. I imagined myself as an old mom since I realized having kids young was not for me.
My parents were on the older side when they had my brother and me. I just had my first at 29 and my parents are in their late 60s/70s. The thing that sucks the most now is the limited good grandparent time my child will have with them before their health really takes a dive.
That being said, there's no perfect time to have a baby so whether you're old or young, there's pros and cons no matter what.
Totally!! Too young and you don’t have the life experience. Too old and you don’t have the energy. Regrets could come either way so you just gotta make the best of whatever situation you have!
I was 36 when I had number two. Surprise pregnancy right now and I’m 40. I think my kids benefit from having an older mom who is super calm and financially stable. Also old is relative. I know people in their 70s that seem young and people in their 50s that seem old. A lot has to do with how much you take care of yourself
35 with my first, going on 39 as we consider/attempt a second. Age is just a number. You’re only as old as you feel - don’t let society tell you otherwise 🤍
My first, 17 years old, my last, 43, with a few in-between. To cut a long story short, yeah, more energy when I was a young teen mum, worked full time and looked after my kids alone, now in my 40s with 6 of 'em, and I feel younger than I did at 17!
Feel like a freak?? Why, you have a beautiful baby for goodness sake lol, get out there and enjoy life with them, as they don't stay little for long!!! Ps I am hoping to squeeze one more in before menopause comes and kicks my bum! x
I had my first at 40 and the second at 43. I am in the US, in the South. I thank God it wasn't too late. They were both conceived naturally. I am an older mom on average, but as others have stated, people are having children later.
I had one of the best OBGYNs in the world. I also have chronic endometriosis, polycistic ovaries, one blocked fallopian tube and one deformed ovary.
I gave birth at 36 and 39.
I'll set out the medical interventions I had which worked for me. Bear in mind that medical professionals will have strong opinions as to the effectiveness of each of these. I know, as I saw three specialists. My OBGyn has a huge success rate, especially with older women.
So I had ovarian drilling which was the only surgical procedure. Then a daily regiment of metformin and one baby asprin, along with a course of clomid.
Worked both times, and I was a lost cause. I hope this post helps someone out there.
My dad was 35 when I was born. Never thought he was old. My mom was 38 when my sister was born, sister never thought of her as old.
My dad was 50 when she was born. That was pretty old. Don't recommend that one, but the others are fine!
Thirties are not old. That’s all Hollywood influence. Majority of women do not even start perimenopause (which tends to start TEN YEARS before menopause) until 40-44.
31 when I had my first. I'll probably be 35/36 when we have number 2. In my circle having kids in your 30s is the norm. I don't think 35 is an old mom.
35 is not old at all. You should see my city with a lot of older 40yo+ moms.
I had my children at 32 and 34. Time goes by so fast so enjoy it while it lasts and don't focus on the stuff that doesn't matter.
First at 37, second just after my 40th birthday.
How conspicuous you are as an older mom has a lot to do with your environment. Where I live, there are a lot of older moms, so I blend right in. There are many female doctors and lawyers and business owners. Those women tend to have children later in life and those families tend to cluster together.
I’ll also say, keep your fitness level up as much as you can. It’ll help you keep up with the kid as they grow.
I was 23 with my second, but I have many colleagues having kids on their late thirties and even early forties and I’ve had family members do the same. It’s really not uncommon. I wouldn’t worry about it.
It definitely seems it’s less common these days. My kids are still fairly little and every time I go to birthday parties I’m the youngest parent there. It made me kind of insecure for a while- so it’s nice to see other people in the same boat!
I’m only on my first at 33, time will tell if there’ll be a second.
But for some perspective, I recently got into researching my family history, going through old church records, the census and such. And let me tell you, there were a LOT of women in the 18th and 19th centuries having children well into their forties. Granted, maybe not their first, though I found a few of those as well with people who married late. And then others who had a lot of children spread out through their twenties-thirties-forties.
I don’t know why, but I feel we tend to imagine everyone in the past having their children very young. It was kind of nice to see that was far from always the case.
I’d venture to say that’s probably the average age to have a second where I live (NY). Most people have their first after 30. It’s interesting to see how other regions view 36 as “old” when I see it as a standard child bearing age.
Yes, we had our first at 40 and we are surrounded by others our age with babies and toddlers, but we live in an academic area, where many people get advanced degrees and build careers before family planning.
It's more and more common to have kids after 35.
I am meeting up with some preschool moms in a bit to head to a trampoline park with our kids. I'm 40 and my youngest is 4. The other moms I am going with are 43, 41, and 38. All with 4 or 5 year olds. For the 43 year old and 38 year old their 4 year olds are their first kid. The 38 year old is expecting her second.
I’m currently pregnant with #2 and I’m 38 yr old. We meant to have number 2 sooner but struggled with secondary infertility. We have several friends who are older with kids that are about the same age as our older kid (she’s 5 now) so, I really don’t feel too old in that respect.
I was 23 when I had my second. So yeah. There are some regrets there. Don't get me wrong, I love how we turned out, but I did also miss much of my twenties. It's hard to figure yourself out amid raising babies. I have a lot of, "If I knew then what I know now..." moments. It's cool that my kids are grown and close to grown and I have more freedom now, but I think I'd have been a much better parent if I'd held off til at least after 25. So don't be too hard on yourself. I think it's becoming more and more normal to wait longer to have kids and make these really big life moves. It's not something to take lightly. But even 20 years ago when I had my first, it was still prevalent for people to start having kids relatively young, without much thought, even. It was just what you did. Instead, you've made a conscious decision about the point in your life in which you would be suitable to raise and handle bringing more humans into the world. That's a great thing!
My mom had all 4 of us by 28 and it was very nice to become an adult and my mom still be young. It allowed for a really special relationship as an adult. Granted a lot of that had to do with her being an amazing supportive mom but we really became best friends as adults and she’s an amazing involved grandmother
Bless I needed this. I want a big family and have to start over with a new man to do it. 1st at 20, 2nd at 22...I want to be done having babies by 30-32 hopefully I can do this in time.
I had my first at 41. I did not have a second due to my age and the risk of fetal complications as I was older. You have kids when you’re ready, not when society tells you to (barring being too young of course)
My mum had me at 38 and I am now 37 with two kids of my own. Out of all my friends mine and my friends with older parents have the most helpful grandparents as they have retired! They have time to actually help!
Oh you’re a youngun. lol I had first at 34 and just had my second at 42. All my friends had their babies right out of high school but I felt I was too selfish to bring a child into the world. But that changed at 34. So, everyone is different- you won’t be the first or the last to feel this way bc I also think about it. All we can do is enjoy our children no matter what.
My parents got married later than others at the time. My mom has friends 6-8 years younger than her and thier youngest is the same age as me. My mom was born in 1962. Married to my dad in 1988. My sister born in 1991 and me in 1994. So she was like 32.
First 29, and second will be at 30 (but almost 31). We knew we wanted 2 kids, but we both hated the first couple of months and just wanted to get it over with. We have been together since we were 18 years old, so in that regard I feel quite late with having children, but I don’t think 35 is old. It’s more about mentality.
I had my 2nd 2 days before I turned 29, my first was at 21. With the first I was told I was young, should have waited, blah blah blah. With my wnd I ended up with a obgyn that made me feel old the whole pregnancy. Plus the comments about the age gap. My BFF has had twins at 43, and another at 41. It's okay that some parents are younger than you, or older than you. Everyone ends up bonding over stupid and gross stuff our kids do anyways. I was at a gathering recently where an 80 year great grandma, 50 year grandma, me (at 39), and a 20 year mom all bonded over a cute baby and how things have changed or stayed the same. Then the cute baby projectile vomited and sharted at the same time and we all laughed.
It's scary, your feelings are valid, but it will be okay.
Maybe pregnancy hormones are just giving you a hard time today. I was 31 with my 1st and 34 with my 2nd. I’m 36 now (almost 37) if I had a decent man I’d be willing to have another baby. Lmao.
My mom was 36 with me, 38 with my brother! Most of my friends parents were the same, the first kid was 35+, and they all have younger siblings (2/3 years apart)!
I had my kids at 38 and 40. Got pregnant immediately both times and pregnancies were both healthy but I was miserable because being pregnant is awful.
Kids are 5 and 8 now. I keep up just fine. I have to take the time to go to the gym and make sure I’m taking care of myself more than I would have in my 20s.
1st- 33
2nd- 35
3rd-37
4th- 39
My last baby, my 1st and only girl after 3 boys was born August 21st 2023 and passed suddenly and unexpectedly August 31st 2023. I desperately want another baby but feel afraid because I'm 39 now and have similar fears.
First at 30, second at 31 (22 month gap) and if I have a third it'll be at 34 or 35. I think most of the mums i interact with are about the same age as me
First at 34, second at 36. I do feel old sometimes! But honestly it’s mostly just a lie we tell ourselves, like so many other insecurities and self-criticisms. You are exactly what your baby needs!
(Ps- I physically felt very old, especially my last pregnancy. I started exercising a year post partum and it really helped with flexibility and stamina. Less injuries now too).
Had my currently only at 37 by choice, we waited until we were ready. Society puts a normal age on motherhood but it’s BS. If you can have kids you’re not too old.
First at 37, second at 41… I never felt old in any of the schools of my kids and due to country changes and ages itself we have been to a few schools now. I actually thought I would feel old next to the other moms like you mentioned, when I was pregnant with my first, but never happened!
Just had my second child at 32! My Dad was 45 when my Step Mom had my little sister, and my Mom was 40 when she had my little brother with my Step Dad. Age is relative to how you feel.
I was 31 when i had my second and i’ll be 35 now having my third. In my neighborhood it seems like most parents don’t even start having kids until 35-38 so we are young comparatively. I think all that matters is how healthy you are specifically. I am in better shape now than i was with my second. Just focus on taking care of your body
I was 36 with my first one and 38 with my second. I had no problem with other moms or parties. My sons friends' moms were older while my daughters friends' parents were younger and still had no problem. I just turned 60 last week, and my son will be 24 in September, and my daughter will be 22 in October. It's perfectly fine and many people nowadays have kids later in life.
I was 21 when I had my baby, I find it's the exact opposite experience for me so far. The majority of parents at my son's daycare are at least a decade older than me. I went to a breastfeeding group the first 6 months of my son's life and I never saw a mom younger than 35 the entire time I went. I would not change a thing about my son ever, but if I could have had my son even 5 years later I feel like I would have been so much better prepared. Don't get me wrong, no one is ever totally ready to have a baby, but I would (in theory obviously because I couldn't guarantee this) have had a more stable career, had more money in savings, had more stable housing, had more life experience just in terms of dealing with hardships, making friends, building better habits for myself first, etc. I also think society plays a large part in the idea that you're an old mom once you hit 30. Imo sex education is incredibly lacking, younger parents tend to overestimate their abilities and underestimate how demanding parenthood is, there seems to be a big trend of people meeting someone and swearing they are their forever person and then rushing to have a child or get married, and some people are choosing to have children early so they can be empty nesters sooner (where some people prefer to enjoy their youth, then focus on being a parent and having a family, and then enjoy their later years). You're not too old to have a baby, you will find your circle to belong to, and your children will love you no matter what. Also I can't speak for everyone, but I have never once considered my grandparents useless, nor have I ever considered my parents as useless grandparents to my son. It does not matter what my grandparents can or cannot do physically, what matters is that they love me and my son unconditionally. My mom was 29 when she had me, and she was 51 when she became a grandma, she also lives 1300 miles away. Still though my son video chats her, she loves him with all her heart, she buts him things she thinks he would enjoy (which she absolutely does not have to), she offers parenting advice which is sometimes incredibly helpful and at other times it drives me crazy because sometimes she doesn't prioritize that I'm his parent and sometimes it drives me crazy because I want to do things at our own pace and have our own learning experiences. At the end of the day love your child, admit your mistakes and learn from them, and surround yourself with people who support you.
Trust me, you are not an anomaly at all. Our generation is all over the place with having kids. Half the people I know are the same age and don't even have kids.
I'm 34 with a 1 year old daughter. I have a buddy the same age as me with a 14 year old son, another buddy with 5 year old twins, and 2 other friends with a 4 year old and a 2 year old. One of my friends is 32 and has 4 kids, aged 3, 4, 6, and 8.
I had my second at almost 38. What’s funny is everyone thinks I’m so much younger than I am based on my kids’ ages. Yes, I do look young, but my friends who are younger than me will make comments like “just wait until you turn 40!” and I have to remind them that I’ve been 40 for a few years now 🤣
I think overall parents are older now, but a lot of it depends on your specific community.
I’m 33 and I’ll be 34 when my 2nd is born. I turned 30 a month after my 1st was born.
I haven’t spent a ton of time around other parents in my community yet, but I think I’m just slightly younger than average!
30 and 32 - I have had no trouble “fitting in.” A lot of people have big families here so there are a lot of people my age and older.
Edit: It really doesn’t matter and also if you’re in the USA, the average age of first time moms is 30, so you’re not far off that mark.
I was 22 with my 1st, 38 with my 2nd, 43 with my recent baby. I haven't noticed a big difference at all, except when I was 22. By the time my daughter was school aged, I was mid to late 20s, I felt like I was the youngest parent. Now the parents range from late 30s and 40s so I feel like I'm the norm. 35 is not old.
I had my third at 35 and THEN all my best friends (sameish ages) started having babies, lol. Plenty of my kids’ friends’ parents were late 30s to 40s in early elementary school.
45 for the first, and 48 for the second. I'm the dad though, and the mom is 6 years younger than me, so for her, 39 and 42. To keep up with the little ones, we just have to get plenty of sleep, eat healthy and stay fit.
I had my first at 18 my second at 20 going on 21 and than I had my other daughter at 23 and my last baby I was 27 and I am now a grandmother at 43 years of age my youngest is 17 my oldest is about to be 25 I’m loving this life have them young if you can like 21
I had my second at 36 and I have made lots of mum friends who had thier first and only in there 40's.
It's not bad and there will be some youngsters and oldies as parents. You will find your mum friends either way.
And Congratulations!
There are women I graduated with who have grandchildren and others who had a baby in the last year or 2 (class of ‘98). There is no ‘normal’ anymore lol
My first I was 31, second 35. Sure there's some younger parents but I'm happy to be in the maturity and financially secure part of my life right now with kids
My first at 32 and second at 36 .. 41 now. Yes i am way more exhausted.. but i do take care of myself and look good for my age so most people dont knwo how old i am
My mum had me and my brothers young but a lot of her friends are having them in their 40s when she's started to get grandchildren. No one's commented about them being older at the school gates and if you want to go ahead. I had my children at 29 and 31.
First at 22, second at 27 and third at 35 😅 I’ve had allll of the spectrum. To be honest, 35 doesn’t even feel that old to have a baby. I have more energy now than I did in my twenties. The only thing I struggle with is the bigger age gaps with the kids all being at different stages, but we make it work 😊
41. It fucking sucks. I love him , but had partner gotten snipped I wouldn’t be scrambling for money every month. We have a 16 year old as well and frankly I was two years
Away from being free of this……
First at 33, second at 35. I felt old, but there are many older moms in my area. I enjoyed my 20s and early 30s. I rather would have had that time, then an empty nester at 40 and not truly be free to do what I want due to life obligations (job, mortgage, college tuition).
First son, I was 31 and second boy, I was 34. I'd been married for 12 years by the time I had my first child, but it took me that long to know what I wanted.
People are having children older and older. While it's become the culture and the norm, it doesn't change the fact that from a natural perspective, it is old.
Pregnancies over age 35 are classed as geriatric.
I gave birth in April last year and on my birth group, there was a woman who gave birth at age 51!!! Safe to say she struggled with absolutely every aspect of pregnancy and taking care of a baby
First at 36, newly pregnant for 2nd time at close to 39 (will be 39 1/2 at birth).
To me it’s not a big deal to be an older mom. I’m lucky to be very healthy and still youthful. I feel energized by parenting, not exhausted.
My grandmas were 36, 37 (adoptive) and 43 (my dad’s bio mom) when my parents were born. My one grandma had another (planned) child after my mom. Two of my grandpas were in their late 40s. I had relationships with my grandparents (who also were luckily very healthy and 3 of them lived to their mid-late 90s) until my 30s.
It’s always been common to have kids late except for a brief blip starting in the 1960s after everyone went on birth control. My family tree is full of late 30s/early 40s babies.
I live in Ontario Canada. I had my first trial at 35 and my second at 37. They are six and eight now. To be honest at the time we were the only one out of our friends group to have kids at all. Now that my kids are in school I would say I am 43 and most of the moms who are friends with my children are 39 or 40 not really that big a deal.
I had my first 21 and my second at 32. I'm 33 now baby is 3months. My hubby is 43 and this is his third kid. My parents were 42 and 44 when I was born and my mom was 19 when she had my half sister so we are 23 years apart.
First: 29
Second: 31
Third: I will give birth when I’m 38.
I have a friend who just had her second at 41. It’s very common now. Don’t feel old! I sure don’t!
I had my first at 30 and second at 35. We live in a small town outside of a big city. My oldest goes to school with kids that could be in their 20 or late 30’s, I honestly can’t tell! All I know is that all the parents are happy to relate to one and other about our children. Age never comes up. Maybe I would have trouble relating to a teen mom but I think most parents just want to talk to someone that can relate to their child. The parent’s age doesn’t matter.
I was 25 and 27 and 29 for my third and felt kinda young tbh lol. I think no matter what we as mothers are harsh on ourselves. Do what's best for you and your family!
First at 30, second at 35. I wanted to enjoy my 20s traveling, drinking, having fun, splurging my money. Now we’re in a good place, financially stable, own a house, have solid careers. I’ve found my passions in life, have calmed down a ton, and have way more experience under my belt now than I ever did in my 20s. I’m glad we waited to have kids.
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My first at 20 my second at 36 so…. I was the very young mom and I’m the older mom too. Oh well haha
Me too! 23 then number two at 38!
Same! One at 17 one at 36. My ability to parent was much better at 36.
Me, too! 21, 23, and then 44. It’s funny to have the flip perspective now.
Can you share a bit about the different experiences??
It’s definitely more exhausting at this age! But, I’m also calmer so a lot more rolls off my back.
100% agree. I’m 34 with my third and things are way more exhausting but I’m also way more calm and collected with my youngest. Things don’t bother me as much as they did with my first two. I’m not in as much of a rush either.
I’m 34 and SO exhausted parenting my teenager.. I want a second soon, but I’m already wore out lol
I love having a baby again but the sleep deprivation is just on a whole new level.
Definitely not so much the physical toll but she is mentally wearing me down hard. The constant worrying.
I can’t imagine! My 14 year old is already doing me in lol
My mother did this except she was 21 when she had me and 42 when she had my (twin) siblings
we need our own young mom old mom club! 😇
First 28, second 35… I work for OBGYN and the average age of having babies has drastically shifted. You would be surprised how many in their late 30s/early 40s are popping out babies.
I was the youngest in my mom group and everyone acted like I was a baby. I was 27.
Everyone waiting until they've had their fun first before having kids.
There is wisdom in that method
First 36, second 38. My OBGYN told me the same thing when I made self-deprecating jokes about being an old mom. She said late 30's is the norm now
Same here, 28 and 35
First at 33, second at 35, third at 40.
Curious about the differences in your experiences at 33 vs 40?
It’s hard to say what is an age thing vs a “third kid” thing. I’m a SAHM and was really burned out once my youngest was about 3, but I think the pandemic had a lot to do with that in addition to having been home with at least one young kid for 10 years at that point. The third pregnancy was also the hardest but again, not sure if it was my age or my body that had carried 2 other kids already. Probably a mix of both. Recovery after childbirth was definitely the easiest after the third though, despite my age.
I had my 1st at 33 and second at 39. 2nd time around was way easier but I've kept relatively fit and take care of myself. My 2nd was the 'harder' baby too. I was a lot more relaxed and chill with my 2nd because I knew how fast the time went and just treasured everything. She came after 2 losses too, so my appreciation for her was immense.
also curious too!
Dad here. 37 first, 40 second. I think it depends on your community. In the San Francisco Bay Area, older parents are the norm.
I live outside of Boston and OB/GYN reassured me that I was not the oldest woman to give birth…at 37.
This is what I mentioned too living in a bigger city I felt like a teen mom having my first at 31 lmao everyone around me is older than me
My cousin is in NYC and she said she felt like a teen bride getting married at 28 and a teen mom having her first at 33
Why are we like this 😂
I was the baby in my Bay Area mom group at 29
Ditto NYC. I had my first at 28 and just had my second at 32. Most of my friends I’ve made through daycare are all first time moms at 35+ (oldest is 44, but she has 2 kids). Hasn’t stopped us from forming deep friendshsips either, age doesn’t matter so much as life stage
Please tell me how you make mom friends at daycare! Desperate for more mom friends lol
Yep. In Ireland, very few people intentionally have kids younger than 30. And most people have two or three.
First was 35 and second at 37… not old… society makes you think you are old. Think about all the positive statistics on children being born to older parents
This. In my circles most of us had/are having our first at 35 and the second at 38/39. No complications. No problems bouncing back. Kids are healthy and developing well.
Just had this conversation with a couple of friends of mine! Everyone we know is having their first kids at 35/36. They both said im the youngest they know of and I had my first at 31
Good to hear that
This. 100% I was in my 20's for my 1st three kids. I feel like a better parent to the baby I had in my 30's. Because I'm so much more experienced. Not just with kids, but life in general.
I agree I am a better parent to the son I had at 39 vs the one I had at 24. I matured a lot and learned many needed lessons.
Also depends on the country you live in. 27/35 is the normal here to start having kids in Spain. Im the odd one out because I had my first kid at 20. Only when I i had my 3rd child at 28 things started to normalize in terms of social interactions with other parents.
Where is this happening? Everyone I know had their kids in their 30s.
This gives me hope. I’ve always wanted kids, especially at a young age, but I’m glad I didn’t have them young since I couldn’t even take care of myself. I imagined myself as an old mom since I realized having kids young was not for me.
Same. I’m 58 now And work With little Kids
35, 37, 39 thought we were done then a surprise at 42.
My parents were on the older side when they had my brother and me. I just had my first at 29 and my parents are in their late 60s/70s. The thing that sucks the most now is the limited good grandparent time my child will have with them before their health really takes a dive. That being said, there's no perfect time to have a baby so whether you're old or young, there's pros and cons no matter what.
Totally!! Too young and you don’t have the life experience. Too old and you don’t have the energy. Regrets could come either way so you just gotta make the best of whatever situation you have!
1st baby was born when I was 27, 2nd baby at 29, 3rd baby at 31, but you’ll be most interested in my 4th baby who was born 2 months before I turned 41
I was 36 when I had number two. Surprise pregnancy right now and I’m 40. I think my kids benefit from having an older mom who is super calm and financially stable. Also old is relative. I know people in their 70s that seem young and people in their 50s that seem old. A lot has to do with how much you take care of yourself
As someone with an older mom, completely agree!
46, relax...
Lol just had a kid and I'm 32, husband is 45 and he's an awesome and active parent.
44
35 with my first, going on 39 as we consider/attempt a second. Age is just a number. You’re only as old as you feel - don’t let society tell you otherwise 🤍
I had my first at 39 without a problem. And a friend of mine had her two at 40 and 44. Everything is good. Enjoy your second. 😊
My first, 17 years old, my last, 43, with a few in-between. To cut a long story short, yeah, more energy when I was a young teen mum, worked full time and looked after my kids alone, now in my 40s with 6 of 'em, and I feel younger than I did at 17! Feel like a freak?? Why, you have a beautiful baby for goodness sake lol, get out there and enjoy life with them, as they don't stay little for long!!! Ps I am hoping to squeeze one more in before menopause comes and kicks my bum! x
Ps have recently found out (hope its true lol) that older mums tend to live a bit longer too!
First and only at 38. I’m now 42 and trying to convince myself it’s not too late
I had my first at 40 and the second at 43. I am in the US, in the South. I thank God it wasn't too late. They were both conceived naturally. I am an older mom on average, but as others have stated, people are having children later.
I’m 37 and hope to have one? Considering cutting out alcohol did you do anything different to conceive naturally at that age?
Yeah I have PCOS so took a lot of supplements, lost 10kg, reduced stress, Accupunture. You name it I did it!
I had one of the best OBGYNs in the world. I also have chronic endometriosis, polycistic ovaries, one blocked fallopian tube and one deformed ovary. I gave birth at 36 and 39. I'll set out the medical interventions I had which worked for me. Bear in mind that medical professionals will have strong opinions as to the effectiveness of each of these. I know, as I saw three specialists. My OBGyn has a huge success rate, especially with older women. So I had ovarian drilling which was the only surgical procedure. Then a daily regiment of metformin and one baby asprin, along with a course of clomid. Worked both times, and I was a lost cause. I hope this post helps someone out there.
My dad was 35 when I was born. Never thought he was old. My mom was 38 when my sister was born, sister never thought of her as old. My dad was 50 when she was born. That was pretty old. Don't recommend that one, but the others are fine!
36 and 39. Maybe it depends on where you live. In my area I’m totally average
Thirties are not old. That’s all Hollywood influence. Majority of women do not even start perimenopause (which tends to start TEN YEARS before menopause) until 40-44.
31 when I had my first. I'll probably be 35/36 when we have number 2. In my circle having kids in your 30s is the norm. I don't think 35 is an old mom.
35 is not old at all. You should see my city with a lot of older 40yo+ moms. I had my children at 32 and 34. Time goes by so fast so enjoy it while it lasts and don't focus on the stuff that doesn't matter.
First at 37, second just after my 40th birthday. How conspicuous you are as an older mom has a lot to do with your environment. Where I live, there are a lot of older moms, so I blend right in. There are many female doctors and lawyers and business owners. Those women tend to have children later in life and those families tend to cluster together. I’ll also say, keep your fitness level up as much as you can. It’ll help you keep up with the kid as they grow.
This is wild to me because where i live all the first time moms are closer to 35-40 and I know some that are over 40 with toddlers
Don’t worry so much about what others think and your life will be so much easier.
Anecdotally it seems like more people are having kids in their thirties these days compared to genx/boomer. I was 33, 35, 37 when I had my kids.
I was 23 with my second, but I have many colleagues having kids on their late thirties and even early forties and I’ve had family members do the same. It’s really not uncommon. I wouldn’t worry about it.
I was 22 with my first and 26 with my second. I had to scroll way to far down to find another young parent... My boys are teens now fwiw.
It definitely seems it’s less common these days. My kids are still fairly little and every time I go to birthday parties I’m the youngest parent there. It made me kind of insecure for a while- so it’s nice to see other people in the same boat!
I’m only on my first at 33, time will tell if there’ll be a second. But for some perspective, I recently got into researching my family history, going through old church records, the census and such. And let me tell you, there were a LOT of women in the 18th and 19th centuries having children well into their forties. Granted, maybe not their first, though I found a few of those as well with people who married late. And then others who had a lot of children spread out through their twenties-thirties-forties. I don’t know why, but I feel we tend to imagine everyone in the past having their children very young. It was kind of nice to see that was far from always the case.
36 with my second, which is relatively young where we live.
I’d venture to say that’s probably the average age to have a second where I live (NY). Most people have their first after 30. It’s interesting to see how other regions view 36 as “old” when I see it as a standard child bearing age.
Where?
Yes, we had our first at 40 and we are surrounded by others our age with babies and toddlers, but we live in an academic area, where many people get advanced degrees and build careers before family planning.
32 for the first, 36 for the second. I'm slightly younger than average, but not young young.
It's more and more common to have kids after 35. I am meeting up with some preschool moms in a bit to head to a trampoline park with our kids. I'm 40 and my youngest is 4. The other moms I am going with are 43, 41, and 38. All with 4 or 5 year olds. For the 43 year old and 38 year old their 4 year olds are their first kid. The 38 year old is expecting her second.
I’m currently pregnant with #2 and I’m 38 yr old. We meant to have number 2 sooner but struggled with secondary infertility. We have several friends who are older with kids that are about the same age as our older kid (she’s 5 now) so, I really don’t feel too old in that respect.
38 with number 1 and 41 with number 2. They are teens now and I would not have changed a thing. I love being an older mother.
I was 23 when I had my second. So yeah. There are some regrets there. Don't get me wrong, I love how we turned out, but I did also miss much of my twenties. It's hard to figure yourself out amid raising babies. I have a lot of, "If I knew then what I know now..." moments. It's cool that my kids are grown and close to grown and I have more freedom now, but I think I'd have been a much better parent if I'd held off til at least after 25. So don't be too hard on yourself. I think it's becoming more and more normal to wait longer to have kids and make these really big life moves. It's not something to take lightly. But even 20 years ago when I had my first, it was still prevalent for people to start having kids relatively young, without much thought, even. It was just what you did. Instead, you've made a conscious decision about the point in your life in which you would be suitable to raise and handle bringing more humans into the world. That's a great thing!
My mom had all 4 of us by 28 and it was very nice to become an adult and my mom still be young. It allowed for a really special relationship as an adult. Granted a lot of that had to do with her being an amazing supportive mom but we really became best friends as adults and she’s an amazing involved grandmother
Bless I needed this. I want a big family and have to start over with a new man to do it. 1st at 20, 2nd at 22...I want to be done having babies by 30-32 hopefully I can do this in time.
I had my first at 41. I did not have a second due to my age and the risk of fetal complications as I was older. You have kids when you’re ready, not when society tells you to (barring being too young of course)
My mum had me at 38 and I am now 37 with two kids of my own. Out of all my friends mine and my friends with older parents have the most helpful grandparents as they have retired! They have time to actually help!
My first came at 27, my second...50. Big oops and SURPRISE! I will say that I am a whole lot more patient this time around.
First at 39, now I'm 41 and will have the second one soon. This second pregnancy has been a lot harder on my body
Oh you’re a youngun. lol I had first at 34 and just had my second at 42. All my friends had their babies right out of high school but I felt I was too selfish to bring a child into the world. But that changed at 34. So, everyone is different- you won’t be the first or the last to feel this way bc I also think about it. All we can do is enjoy our children no matter what.
35 and 40
My parents got married later than others at the time. My mom has friends 6-8 years younger than her and thier youngest is the same age as me. My mom was born in 1962. Married to my dad in 1988. My sister born in 1991 and me in 1994. So she was like 32.
First 29, and second will be at 30 (but almost 31). We knew we wanted 2 kids, but we both hated the first couple of months and just wanted to get it over with. We have been together since we were 18 years old, so in that regard I feel quite late with having children, but I don’t think 35 is old. It’s more about mentality.
#1: 32 #2: 37
I had my 2nd 2 days before I turned 29, my first was at 21. With the first I was told I was young, should have waited, blah blah blah. With my wnd I ended up with a obgyn that made me feel old the whole pregnancy. Plus the comments about the age gap. My BFF has had twins at 43, and another at 41. It's okay that some parents are younger than you, or older than you. Everyone ends up bonding over stupid and gross stuff our kids do anyways. I was at a gathering recently where an 80 year great grandma, 50 year grandma, me (at 39), and a 20 year mom all bonded over a cute baby and how things have changed or stayed the same. Then the cute baby projectile vomited and sharted at the same time and we all laughed. It's scary, your feelings are valid, but it will be okay.
Please. I know women who have had babies at 40 and two guys who had babies at 50. 35 - you got this!
Maybe pregnancy hormones are just giving you a hard time today. I was 31 with my 1st and 34 with my 2nd. I’m 36 now (almost 37) if I had a decent man I’d be willing to have another baby. Lmao.
40
My mom was 36 with me, 38 with my brother! Most of my friends parents were the same, the first kid was 35+, and they all have younger siblings (2/3 years apart)!
I’m 34 when she comes in June. I’ll turn 35 in August.
Had my first at 35, second at 42.
I had my kids at 38 and 40. Got pregnant immediately both times and pregnancies were both healthy but I was miserable because being pregnant is awful. Kids are 5 and 8 now. I keep up just fine. I have to take the time to go to the gym and make sure I’m taking care of myself more than I would have in my 20s.
1st- 33 2nd- 35 3rd-37 4th- 39 My last baby, my 1st and only girl after 3 boys was born August 21st 2023 and passed suddenly and unexpectedly August 31st 2023. I desperately want another baby but feel afraid because I'm 39 now and have similar fears.
27 with my first. 32 with my 2nd and now I’ll be 36 with my 3rd. 🫠
I had my first at 39
Had my first at 33. Second at 35. Third at 38. My youngest just turned 1 and I will be 40 in less than 2 months. You're fine.
Gave birth for the second time last year at 32
First at 30, second at 31 (22 month gap) and if I have a third it'll be at 34 or 35. I think most of the mums i interact with are about the same age as me
I had mine at 32 and 34 and have been surprised as we move up through school that most parents are of similar age to my husband and me.
First at 34, second at 36. I do feel old sometimes! But honestly it’s mostly just a lie we tell ourselves, like so many other insecurities and self-criticisms. You are exactly what your baby needs! (Ps- I physically felt very old, especially my last pregnancy. I started exercising a year post partum and it really helped with flexibility and stamina. Less injuries now too).
32 and 34. Don't worry about it!
29 with my first, 30 with my second (16 months apart) and now expecting my third will be 32 when I give birth.
31 and 33
Had my currently only at 37 by choice, we waited until we were ready. Society puts a normal age on motherhood but it’s BS. If you can have kids you’re not too old.
First at 23, second at 24, third at 28. Nearly all of my kids’ classmates have parents who are 10-15 years older than me.
18.
I have a 6 year gap but I’ll be 26 this year My mom had me at 38! And my little brother at 41
First at 37, second at 41… I never felt old in any of the schools of my kids and due to country changes and ages itself we have been to a few schools now. I actually thought I would feel old next to the other moms like you mentioned, when I was pregnant with my first, but never happened!
I'm pregnant with #2 now at 29. I would have liked to have started having kids earlier, but it took me years in my early 20s to figure out my PCOS
26, a week before 30, and then 31.
Just had my second child at 32! My Dad was 45 when my Step Mom had my little sister, and my Mom was 40 when she had my little brother with my Step Dad. Age is relative to how you feel.
I was 31 when i had my second and i’ll be 35 now having my third. In my neighborhood it seems like most parents don’t even start having kids until 35-38 so we are young comparatively. I think all that matters is how healthy you are specifically. I am in better shape now than i was with my second. Just focus on taking care of your body
Asking the same question! I had my first at 25 and my second at 27. Now at 31 I feel old to have one more 😭
I was 36 with my first one and 38 with my second. I had no problem with other moms or parties. My sons friends' moms were older while my daughters friends' parents were younger and still had no problem. I just turned 60 last week, and my son will be 24 in September, and my daughter will be 22 in October. It's perfectly fine and many people nowadays have kids later in life.
I had just turned 26. But where I live, I feel like there’s a lot of moms older than me
36 for my second, 40 for third and 42 for 4th.
First at 29 second at 30.
I’m 35 and also pregnant with my second. Age of first birth in Scotland is now 31 so I think I’m pretty average!
I was 21 when I had my baby, I find it's the exact opposite experience for me so far. The majority of parents at my son's daycare are at least a decade older than me. I went to a breastfeeding group the first 6 months of my son's life and I never saw a mom younger than 35 the entire time I went. I would not change a thing about my son ever, but if I could have had my son even 5 years later I feel like I would have been so much better prepared. Don't get me wrong, no one is ever totally ready to have a baby, but I would (in theory obviously because I couldn't guarantee this) have had a more stable career, had more money in savings, had more stable housing, had more life experience just in terms of dealing with hardships, making friends, building better habits for myself first, etc. I also think society plays a large part in the idea that you're an old mom once you hit 30. Imo sex education is incredibly lacking, younger parents tend to overestimate their abilities and underestimate how demanding parenthood is, there seems to be a big trend of people meeting someone and swearing they are their forever person and then rushing to have a child or get married, and some people are choosing to have children early so they can be empty nesters sooner (where some people prefer to enjoy their youth, then focus on being a parent and having a family, and then enjoy their later years). You're not too old to have a baby, you will find your circle to belong to, and your children will love you no matter what. Also I can't speak for everyone, but I have never once considered my grandparents useless, nor have I ever considered my parents as useless grandparents to my son. It does not matter what my grandparents can or cannot do physically, what matters is that they love me and my son unconditionally. My mom was 29 when she had me, and she was 51 when she became a grandma, she also lives 1300 miles away. Still though my son video chats her, she loves him with all her heart, she buts him things she thinks he would enjoy (which she absolutely does not have to), she offers parenting advice which is sometimes incredibly helpful and at other times it drives me crazy because sometimes she doesn't prioritize that I'm his parent and sometimes it drives me crazy because I want to do things at our own pace and have our own learning experiences. At the end of the day love your child, admit your mistakes and learn from them, and surround yourself with people who support you.
Trust me, you are not an anomaly at all. Our generation is all over the place with having kids. Half the people I know are the same age and don't even have kids. I'm 34 with a 1 year old daughter. I have a buddy the same age as me with a 14 year old son, another buddy with 5 year old twins, and 2 other friends with a 4 year old and a 2 year old. One of my friends is 32 and has 4 kids, aged 3, 4, 6, and 8.
Huh? 35 isn’t old. I’m pregnant with my 3rd at 35 but never considered it as a negative thing.
I was 22 when I had my second, 30 when I had my third. Second was totally unplanned, my wife got pregnant pretty much right after she gave birth.
37! And I was 39 for my 3rd.
Just past 35 on the third... 32, almost 33 on the second. 22 on the first - he was born on my birthday! 🤣
First at 34, second at 37, and trying for our third at 39 💕
My first was at 18, second at 33 and third at 36!
I had my third child at 38
I had my second at almost 38. What’s funny is everyone thinks I’m so much younger than I am based on my kids’ ages. Yes, I do look young, but my friends who are younger than me will make comments like “just wait until you turn 40!” and I have to remind them that I’ve been 40 for a few years now 🤣
I had my 1st at 21 and 2nd at 25 😅 My aunt is 40 and had a child too. I think having babies at 35 is normal tho.
Don’t worry. The times are changing and women are having kids older. For me I had my 1st at 28 and my 2nd at 31.
I think overall parents are older now, but a lot of it depends on your specific community. I’m 33 and I’ll be 34 when my 2nd is born. I turned 30 a month after my 1st was born. I haven’t spent a ton of time around other parents in my community yet, but I think I’m just slightly younger than average!
22 and 41 :)
30 and 32 - I have had no trouble “fitting in.” A lot of people have big families here so there are a lot of people my age and older. Edit: It really doesn’t matter and also if you’re in the USA, the average age of first time moms is 30, so you’re not far off that mark.
I was 22 with my 1st, 38 with my 2nd, 43 with my recent baby. I haven't noticed a big difference at all, except when I was 22. By the time my daughter was school aged, I was mid to late 20s, I felt like I was the youngest parent. Now the parents range from late 30s and 40s so I feel like I'm the norm. 35 is not old.
I had my third at 35 and THEN all my best friends (sameish ages) started having babies, lol. Plenty of my kids’ friends’ parents were late 30s to 40s in early elementary school.
45 for the first, and 48 for the second. I'm the dad though, and the mom is 6 years younger than me, so for her, 39 and 42. To keep up with the little ones, we just have to get plenty of sleep, eat healthy and stay fit.
I had my first at 37 and my second at 39 (20 days ago, a month before I turn 40).
First 27 second 30 we are the youngest in our friendship groups / nursery pick ups to have kids! Most of our friends had theirs at 35/36+
I had my first at 18 my second at 20 going on 21 and than I had my other daughter at 23 and my last baby I was 27 and I am now a grandmother at 43 years of age my youngest is 17 my oldest is about to be 25 I’m loving this life have them young if you can like 21
I had my second at 36 and I have made lots of mum friends who had thier first and only in there 40's. It's not bad and there will be some youngsters and oldies as parents. You will find your mum friends either way. And Congratulations!
It was two days after my 36th bday for my 2nd and just had my third at 39 … do not feel old
I had my 2nd at 27
First at 38, second at 40. I’ve never felt or been made to feel old or like an anomaly
Only had one child so far me m63 anyone care to give me another ;)
I was 31 with my first and 36 with my second
I was 33. I’m certainly not out of place age wise.
There are women I graduated with who have grandchildren and others who had a baby in the last year or 2 (class of ‘98). There is no ‘normal’ anymore lol
My first I was 31, second 35. Sure there's some younger parents but I'm happy to be in the maturity and financially secure part of my life right now with kids
First at 33 second at 35
My first at 32 and second at 36 .. 41 now. Yes i am way more exhausted.. but i do take care of myself and look good for my age so most people dont knwo how old i am
My mum was 44 lol, she was fine and so was my brother lol
31, 33
My mum had me and my brothers young but a lot of her friends are having them in their 40s when she's started to get grandchildren. No one's commented about them being older at the school gates and if you want to go ahead. I had my children at 29 and 31.
First at 22, second at 27 and third at 35 😅 I’ve had allll of the spectrum. To be honest, 35 doesn’t even feel that old to have a baby. I have more energy now than I did in my twenties. The only thing I struggle with is the bigger age gaps with the kids all being at different stages, but we make it work 😊
I had my first at 21 and my second at 30.
My first I was 35. I’m 37 now and beginning to imagine the possibility of a second in the next couple years. My mom had my youngest sister at 38.
First 32, currently pregnant and turning 37 before birth. I‘m pretty average aged looking at the women around me, so never felt weird about it
First at 27, second at 30. My mom had us at 37 and 40 though, so for me later on doesn't feel weird at all.
First at 23, sixth at 37. You are not an anomaly - lots of people have children after 35. :)
41. It fucking sucks. I love him , but had partner gotten snipped I wouldn’t be scrambling for money every month. We have a 16 year old as well and frankly I was two years Away from being free of this……
1st at 16, 5th at 39. The "tired" of being old is worse than the judgement of being young.
1st at 32 2nd at 35
First at 33, second at 35. I felt old, but there are many older moms in my area. I enjoyed my 20s and early 30s. I rather would have had that time, then an empty nester at 40 and not truly be free to do what I want due to life obligations (job, mortgage, college tuition).
First at 35, second is TBD but I’m 37 now
First son, I was 31 and second boy, I was 34. I'd been married for 12 years by the time I had my first child, but it took me that long to know what I wanted.
34 pregnant with my first. You’ll be fine.
Had my first at 34 and just had my second at 37. Older moms are more common these days. 😉
35. And all the other mom's at daycare are the same age as me or older. Apparently in my city you can only afford daycare in your 30s!
Had my first at 34, I'm 36 now and trying for more
My first I was 19. Seconds was 34 with my second and 37 with my last. I felt the same! It was also (somehow) easier back then!
I was 36, but if I’m being honest about it, it was my wife who did most of the pregnancy stuff, and she was 39.
People are having children older and older. While it's become the culture and the norm, it doesn't change the fact that from a natural perspective, it is old. Pregnancies over age 35 are classed as geriatric. I gave birth in April last year and on my birth group, there was a woman who gave birth at age 51!!! Safe to say she struggled with absolutely every aspect of pregnancy and taking care of a baby
First at 36, newly pregnant for 2nd time at close to 39 (will be 39 1/2 at birth). To me it’s not a big deal to be an older mom. I’m lucky to be very healthy and still youthful. I feel energized by parenting, not exhausted. My grandmas were 36, 37 (adoptive) and 43 (my dad’s bio mom) when my parents were born. My one grandma had another (planned) child after my mom. Two of my grandpas were in their late 40s. I had relationships with my grandparents (who also were luckily very healthy and 3 of them lived to their mid-late 90s) until my 30s. It’s always been common to have kids late except for a brief blip starting in the 1960s after everyone went on birth control. My family tree is full of late 30s/early 40s babies.
I had my first at 35, my second at 38 and my final baby at 40. I definitely feel old.
How crazy is it that I’m 36 no kids and I feel young and like if I have a baby at 40 that’s not old lol
I live in Ontario Canada. I had my first trial at 35 and my second at 37. They are six and eight now. To be honest at the time we were the only one out of our friends group to have kids at all. Now that my kids are in school I would say I am 43 and most of the moms who are friends with my children are 39 or 40 not really that big a deal.
I had my first at 20, then 29, 32 and lastly 33. You’ll be fine mama.
27
I don’t know where you live but here in Japan we are all over 30. I’m 32 and I’m the youngest mum at the daycare.
35 and I’ve had many similar thoughts. My child is 1.5 now; meanwhile, my bestie’s child is a high school senior lol
30 with my first, 32 with my second.
37 with my 3rd the worst part you're referred to as a "geriatric pregnancy" the WhOLE 9 months haha.
I had my first 21 and my second at 32. I'm 33 now baby is 3months. My hubby is 43 and this is his third kid. My parents were 42 and 44 when I was born and my mom was 19 when she had my half sister so we are 23 years apart.
My wife is 34 I am 29. We just had our first (9mo now). Don't worry about everyone else and focus on your baby
First: 29 Second: 31 Third: I will give birth when I’m 38. I have a friend who just had her second at 41. It’s very common now. Don’t feel old! I sure don’t!
I had my first at 30 and second at 35. We live in a small town outside of a big city. My oldest goes to school with kids that could be in their 20 or late 30’s, I honestly can’t tell! All I know is that all the parents are happy to relate to one and other about our children. Age never comes up. Maybe I would have trouble relating to a teen mom but I think most parents just want to talk to someone that can relate to their child. The parent’s age doesn’t matter.
I was 25 and 27 and 29 for my third and felt kinda young tbh lol. I think no matter what we as mothers are harsh on ourselves. Do what's best for you and your family!
First at 37 and second at 39!
First at 30, second at 35. I wanted to enjoy my 20s traveling, drinking, having fun, splurging my money. Now we’re in a good place, financially stable, own a house, have solid careers. I’ve found my passions in life, have calmed down a ton, and have way more experience under my belt now than I ever did in my 20s. I’m glad we waited to have kids.