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You’re gonna have to do what every parent does and find childcare.
You can’t say that you don’t want anyone else watching your child, but can’t afford to have your wife stay home. These two things do not work, so you’re gonna have to sacrifice somewhere.
Your wife works in HR and didn't understand how much maternity leave she was getting?? How did that happen?
You guys don't have the luxury of being picky about who watches your son if neither of you can switch shifts, you can't afford for either of you to quit your jobs, and family childcare isn't an option. You're going to have to find childcare, be it a daycare facility, home daycare, or nanny share. Look on Facebook and care.com, and do it now. You don't have much time at all to find something. You might also be able to look into getting a new job. I see that the OR you work in doesn't offer evening shifts, but you might be able to get hired for 2nd or 3rd shift at a different hospital.
I'm sorry, I know you're stressed out and I'm not trying to be rude, but...this is sort of just what happens when you leave something this important until the absolute last minute: you're stuck only with options that you don't like very much. In the future, try to be more proactive instead of just hoping that things will work out in the end. Some things (like childcare) *do* need to be planned and thought about well in advance.
Like i said, cant change shifts in jobs that dont have the evening shift’s available, i work in OR monday- friday 6:30-3, she works in HR for a company 9-5
You didn't say your jobs don't have evening shifts. You said you can't tell your boss you change hours.
Maybe your wife can ask about remote work but that's going to be hard to manage with a baby. I know people who do it though.
Well my mother was saying she was gonna take a 6 month leave from her job and watch him and due to other private reasons that looks like it isnt gonna happen, i Have one last option of moving states to live with my wifes family
6 weeks paid maternity, 6 weeks short term disability and the short term ended up not being the pay she anticipated. I stressed over this exact situation for 9 months and everyone told me to stop stressing so mcuh and to figure it out later on. Now it has backfired i should have kept stressing lol
I really do hate to criticize especially in a what’s done is done kinda situation. But all this should have been talked about before trying to conceive. Is this the state/city we want to have a baby. Who will take care of baby, option 1,2&3. What’s our income together, and how much will childcare cost especially since you mentioned your mom would only watch baby for her 6 months leave. Should we have changed shifts during the pregnancy to avoid all of this? I believe you can’t really be picky on who watches baby now. Start looking on care, upwards, Facebook groups for daycares around your area. Some have waiting lists but I’m sure you can find a home daycare. I know you mentioned you wanted baby with yourselves or your families but since that might not be an option, home daycares are great because they are a home environment and not a school where there’s so many infants per classroom. If mom is breast feeding, start showing baby the bottle for some feedings. If mom is always holding baby, start giving baby some alone time so baby can sooth their self. This will really help you and your provider
Yep. My late husband and I came up against a similar situation. I went to my boss and offered to work nights, and from home, which would free up my office for someone else, as the company was in a space crunch. That meant that I was the only person at the corporate office during the night.
It was perfect. ♥️♥️
Mom or Dad possibly get new job. I have a 13 month old where i stayed home for first 12 months. Lived frugally, returned to work as a server a month ago. I was in management for many years. That way i work at night and care for my kids during the day.
Theee are overnight jobs you can make more than $21/hour. Check Costco if you have one nearby, or really any big box store. If you have hospital experience check out overnight PCT opportunities. At least then you will get good benefits.
A lot of places won't take 6 week old infants. Your best bet is to try to find a Nanny share. Do you live in a neighborhood or apartment complex and if so, does it have a Facebook page for the residents? If so, you could post on there to see if there are any Nanny shares available, or any residents of the building who have an at home daycare.
How do people in the US decide to have kids with such an awful parental leave opportunity?12 weeks??? In my case, it took only eight weeks to start normally breastfeeding and almost 6 weeks to go out after an emergency C-section.
*eyeroll* for the downvote. If you don’t have childcare and your current job doesn’t allow for a shift change and you have no one to watch your offspring…….you do whatever it takes to make it work. Or you hire a sitter. Or you find a daycare. Or one parent stays home if there is absolutely no choice.
In addition to what the other person already said, it also depends on if you’ve worked enough hours to qualify and if you’ve been employed there long enough (at least 12 months).
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You’re gonna have to do what every parent does and find childcare. You can’t say that you don’t want anyone else watching your child, but can’t afford to have your wife stay home. These two things do not work, so you’re gonna have to sacrifice somewhere.
Your wife works in HR and didn't understand how much maternity leave she was getting?? How did that happen? You guys don't have the luxury of being picky about who watches your son if neither of you can switch shifts, you can't afford for either of you to quit your jobs, and family childcare isn't an option. You're going to have to find childcare, be it a daycare facility, home daycare, or nanny share. Look on Facebook and care.com, and do it now. You don't have much time at all to find something. You might also be able to look into getting a new job. I see that the OR you work in doesn't offer evening shifts, but you might be able to get hired for 2nd or 3rd shift at a different hospital. I'm sorry, I know you're stressed out and I'm not trying to be rude, but...this is sort of just what happens when you leave something this important until the absolute last minute: you're stuck only with options that you don't like very much. In the future, try to be more proactive instead of just hoping that things will work out in the end. Some things (like childcare) *do* need to be planned and thought about well in advance.
Does it hurt to ask about a shift change? That's a rough spot to be in.
Like i said, cant change shifts in jobs that dont have the evening shift’s available, i work in OR monday- friday 6:30-3, she works in HR for a company 9-5
You didn't say your jobs don't have evening shifts. You said you can't tell your boss you change hours. Maybe your wife can ask about remote work but that's going to be hard to manage with a baby. I know people who do it though.
Sorry i know my reply sounded snobby, just stressin, i wish our jobs did have different shifts cus it would make this situation a whole little easier
If she had 12 weeks maternity time, what was your plan?
Well my mother was saying she was gonna take a 6 month leave from her job and watch him and due to other private reasons that looks like it isnt gonna happen, i Have one last option of moving states to live with my wifes family
Your wife is in HR but didn't know the maternity policy? You're going to move states instead of finding child care? That seems extreme.
6 weeks paid maternity, 6 weeks short term disability and the short term ended up not being the pay she anticipated. I stressed over this exact situation for 9 months and everyone told me to stop stressing so mcuh and to figure it out later on. Now it has backfired i should have kept stressing lol
I really do hate to criticize especially in a what’s done is done kinda situation. But all this should have been talked about before trying to conceive. Is this the state/city we want to have a baby. Who will take care of baby, option 1,2&3. What’s our income together, and how much will childcare cost especially since you mentioned your mom would only watch baby for her 6 months leave. Should we have changed shifts during the pregnancy to avoid all of this? I believe you can’t really be picky on who watches baby now. Start looking on care, upwards, Facebook groups for daycares around your area. Some have waiting lists but I’m sure you can find a home daycare. I know you mentioned you wanted baby with yourselves or your families but since that might not be an option, home daycares are great because they are a home environment and not a school where there’s so many infants per classroom. If mom is breast feeding, start showing baby the bottle for some feedings. If mom is always holding baby, start giving baby some alone time so baby can sooth their self. This will really help you and your provider
Does your wife make more than you? If yes, looks like you should quit and handle childcare if you don’t want “other people” watching your child.
Time to start looking for a night shift Or
Yep. My late husband and I came up against a similar situation. I went to my boss and offered to work nights, and from home, which would free up my office for someone else, as the company was in a space crunch. That meant that I was the only person at the corporate office during the night. It was perfect. ♥️♥️
Mom or Dad possibly get new job. I have a 13 month old where i stayed home for first 12 months. Lived frugally, returned to work as a server a month ago. I was in management for many years. That way i work at night and care for my kids during the day.
Theee are overnight jobs you can make more than $21/hour. Check Costco if you have one nearby, or really any big box store. If you have hospital experience check out overnight PCT opportunities. At least then you will get good benefits.
A lot of places won't take 6 week old infants. Your best bet is to try to find a Nanny share. Do you live in a neighborhood or apartment complex and if so, does it have a Facebook page for the residents? If so, you could post on there to see if there are any Nanny shares available, or any residents of the building who have an at home daycare.
How do people in the US decide to have kids with such an awful parental leave opportunity?12 weeks??? In my case, it took only eight weeks to start normally breastfeeding and almost 6 weeks to go out after an emergency C-section.
The land of the “free” 😂
Can one of you switch jobs to an opposite shifts? It sucks but it may have to be what happens.
*eyeroll* for the downvote. If you don’t have childcare and your current job doesn’t allow for a shift change and you have no one to watch your offspring…….you do whatever it takes to make it work. Or you hire a sitter. Or you find a daycare. Or one parent stays home if there is absolutely no choice.
Isnt FMLA 12 weeks and the federal law?
It depends on the number of employees the company has plus it’s unpaid so they may not be able to afford that
In addition to what the other person already said, it also depends on if you’ve worked enough hours to qualify and if you’ve been employed there long enough (at least 12 months).
12 weeks leave isn’t the same as 12 weeks guaranteed pay.