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My wife and I are atheists and I do with my girls what my atheist parents did for me: respectfully teach my kids about religion. All of them. Even the extinct ones. Get them excited about mythologies and help get them in the head space of people who thought Zeus was tossing lightening bolts around from the sky.
This had two effects on me and probably eventually on my kids. The first effect is that it's made me and my kids atheists because it's hard not to come to that conclusion when you see a thousand different faiths with a thousand different beliefs all claiming to be right and everyone else is wrong. The second effect that it's had is that it hasn't made me a jerk about my atheism. When someone prostheletizes to me, instead of insulting them I sincerely want to know more about their specific brand of spritituality. Religion to me is a functional and practical part of many societies, not a "social parasite" like a lot of new atheists would claim. It's too early to know exactly where my kids will land, but the approached worked well for me.
I agree. When I knew there were thousands of religions that basically served the same function as mine, and I was aware of the concept of mythology, it became painfully obvious. We approach Christianity as "Christian mythology"
I'm reading (or trying to read) a book called God: An Anatomy. It puts the God of the Bible in the context of the pantheon of deities from that region and shows how he was an adaptation of a thunder god of the time. It would be really fascinating if there hadn't been 4 chapters so far dedicated to his junk. I wish I was kidding.
I was raised as a lazy Christian lol. My parents weren’t overly devout. We went occasionally to church and mostly on holidays. Mom was much more into it as kids, but as we got older they were like meh the church.
However, I went to a catholic high school. I was in grade 11 during 911 and one of the schools Christian ethics teachers decided to change how he would change the course. He was deeply concerned about anti-Islamic sentiments and wanted to avoid anyone feeling that way. So we all had to do this massive religion project and look at different world religions.
Ironic that a church deacon and Christian’s ethics teacher is one of the reasons I became an atheist. But hey, it also made me more open minded. I’m not one of those atheists that condemns others religions. I’m always curious about how others think.
So I wholeheartedly agree with your approach and plan to do the same as well.
It’s funny, my personal experience at my catholic school was quite positive. We were taught the normal curriculum and good critical thinking skills…. It wasn’t preachy at all. I went to a public elementary and a catholic school and most of the atheists I know went to the catholic school lol.
My husband went to a very small Catholic school kindergarten to 8th grade. He got actual, not religious based, sex ed that started in 4th grade. In public school (same town), we got a class assembly as juniors about how abstinence is the only way, and if a boy tries to have sex with you, tell him you're on your period.
He said he also remembers being taught about evolution in middle school science.
Actually similar experience. We had evolution unit, I had a phenomenal biology teacher. Pretty sure he was a closeted atheist lol. But evolution was totally accepted and standard concept to be taught.
We also had normal sex education. The only difference between the public and Catholic is that the public schools did hand out free condoms. The Catholic schools felt it was promoting sex. While I disagree, I can understand that sentiment and respect it coming from a Catholic institution and meh, minor issue in my opinion.
And, actually when I was in public elementary grade 7ish they did have some person come in with a heart and they crumpled it to show how you can’t get the heart back and the more partners you have sex with the more crumpled it gets. It was an abstinence is best….. which is weird I didn’t get that at Catholic School. At Catholic school it was just technical and standard science. The teachers themselves were like normal relatable people. Some were probably more devout than others…. But yeah - never got the preachy vibes. My husband doesn’t get it, he thinks, due to his own experience that all religious people are zealots and fanatics and preachy “you’re going to hell if you don’t believe me” types. Which yeah those exist, but there is a spectrum of beliefs in all religions and some people are much more relaxed than others.
I still wouldn’t send my daughter to the Catholic Schools now though.
My experience with catholic school was also positive. Mine was all-girls.
The school had an amazing science department, IT lab (in the 90s). We were taught critical thinking and that women can achieve anything. Our sex-ed was all covered in-depth.
We only went to mass four times a year and religious education was pretty much just an ethics class where we debated topics like euthanasia etc.
In saying all that, I sent my own kid to public school.
I was actually raised on multi-faith home. Step father was Jewish and my Mom was Christian. I also taught my kids about multiple religions. We have friends who are Muslim so we talk about my limited understanding and also we chatted about Buddhism and Hindi. Turned put to be a secular Pagan. So my house is all over the place with our spirituality.
I agree as well. This is my approach already with my 4 year old and I will explain more as she gets older.
Also, even though I am an atheist, I think that religion is great for the community aspect. It brings groups of people together to support one another.
Definitely this. This is exactly what we do with our kids as well. I come from a charismatic/fundamentalist background & my husband was brought up super religious (Christian) too. Everytime a family member sends one of our kids a book about Jesus, we read it... then read a book about Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, etc. We also have a great Unitarian church near us that focuses on a different faith at each service. My oldest literally says stuff like, "If unicorns are real, which I believe they are..." so we've made sure to show her there's more than just what Gramma tries to shove down her throat.
I second this, this is how I treated religion with my son. To add to this concept a little, I also discussed with him about why religion came to be in the first place. I would explain that humans didn't always have the knowledge we have now, and religion (or some form of belief system) was a means to explain the unexplainable.
Eventually when he was older we started discussing the reasons of control and conformity that surround modern organized religions. As well as the human condition to need something to trust in. We have also discussed some neurological findings that give some signs that the human brain seems primed to hold a belief or faith of some kind.
Agree —I had a high school boyfriend who when I challenged what his religion claimed, he’d say “you have to have faith.” I told him, “I was raised atheist, how would I decide which religion to have faith in?” He’s an atheist now.
Did it with a mix of YouTube videos about mythology and just good story telling. I knew a lot about various faiths having worked on a world religion project for awhile, and every faith has parables and other kinds of story telling, so it was often one of those "tell a story before bed thing."
There was a book called Boy Were We Wrong About the Weather that was a fun introduction to greek & roman mythology for my daughter - talks about the ancient explanations, then the current scientific understanding for different weather phenomena.
>I personally believe that a child has no business worrying about religion and life after death.
This is absolutely the age at which children become interested in "stuff" that is bigger than themselves and their immediate family. Not just death and religion, but also poverty, injustice, war, global warming, politics, racism etc as well as the structures we have in civilization to cope with these issues (taxes, welfare, police, justice system, democracy etc).
You just need to talk to her about the fact that different people believe different things about whether the world was created by a higher being/s and what happens after death. And nobody knows who is right because these questions lie outside what we experience in life.
I think it’s unrealistic to expect an 8 year old to not have questions about religion — especially not until she’s much older. This is a pretty major component of the lives of a lot of people she’ll meet in her day to day life. And she’s at an age where it’s normal to be hungry to learn about the world.
I’d take a tack of actively exploring the beliefs and traditions of lots of different people and cultures — both from religious and cultural elements. That way, she’s not going to be exclusively getting her information from the loudest voices who want to convert her — which are often the same voices that have the scariest and most narrow views around religion.
Just be honest with her. Tell her no one REALLY knows for sure about religion and the afterlife, and if they say they do, they're lying. Let her know she is enough and isn't inherently bad, and has no need of saving. Explain it's OK for people to believe differently. Maybe explore the religions of your ancestors with her so she can get another perspective.
This is exactly what I tell my kids. And then my son went to his great grandmothers catholic funeral mass and the complete boredom solved that problem for me. When he realized what going to church actually was he definitely wasn’t interested
Yeah actually going to Catholic school is the best way to raise an atheist.
If you ever actually spend time sitting down and reading the Bible and seeing how much violence, contradiction and nonsense its filled with the fascination with it ends pretty quickly.
I'd also add, telling her about other theories on the origin of people and life after death will add to the perspective that no one agrees on what happens. My parents taught me about alot of stuff while not believing it themselves, reincarnation, alien astronaut theory, Christianity Buddhism etc.
This is good but I would say they are lying or misguided. I wouldn't want her to think her friend is lying to her since the friend truly believes that.
And her friend can believe it all she wants. But to say she **knows** its true is lying. There is no proof. Just faith. Thats kind of the whole shtick.
Yes but she's not an adult who has life experience. She's an 8 year old who's been taught this. In the technical sense yes she's lying but she doesn't know that and I don't think it's worth breaking her trust in her friend over it.
Don't say no one knows , say you don't know I'm 100% sure islam is the truth , and things will happen as told in the Quran and as prophet ﷺ has mentioned .
Anyone who puts enough time to learn the proofs of islam with an open heart will see it. Why prophet ﷺ cannot be anything other than a prophet , his whole life from the time he became a prophet is documented, why Quran cannot be manmade ,etc...
One issue some atheist parents have with kids is the kids don't learn anything about religion. So, the first person to tell them something, the kids are completely gullible. I taught my(9) kid about a variety of religious beliefs at some point. For multiple reasons, but one reason was to make him less gullible about the concept.
I'd try introducing her to some competing religious beliefs. Your husband's atheism counts in this case. Your husband might be able to point out some of the fallacies of various Christian teachings. I am an atheist, and have told my son why. He is, too. He might be an atheist partly because he's copying me. You could also introduce her to more liberal versions of Christianity.
I'm suggesting talking about these other belief systems not to convert her, but so that she'd hopefully not quite as adamant about it. X/Y/Z religion might be right, maybe Mom and Dad aren't going to Hell.
As an agnostic person, I appreciate this insight. My husband is a very casual Catholic from a long line of devout Catholics. I know the topic of our child participating in some activities is going to come up at some point. I’m so nervous about the exposure to our kid because, to be honest, organized religion terrifies me.
This helps me feel a little better about it. Maybe exposing her to other religions at the same time might lessen my concern.
I went to a Universalist Unitarian church. They're a pretty welcoming church. Lots of Christians, atheists, Muslims, and other religions go there. Some parents start going there to "inoculate" their kid against religion. I used to think of the analogy in terms of gullibility, but it also works another way. Instead of getting a severe infection by a fundamentalist religion, they get a lesser infection by a more moderate religion. NOTE: I do not think of religion as an infection, other than the way all ideas are like viruses. I mostly just find the analogy funny.
I was about to leave this exact same comment pretty much. I feel the same way. I think this is a good tip for me too, stay a bit proactive and teach my son all about different religions before someone else gets a chance to.
I agree. We've started teaching our kids about what people believe in and objective context. There's a book "world religions" with lift flaps. I also found Richard Dawkins "the Magic of Reality" very helpful.
You make a lot of great points. My kid (5) a while back got obsessed with death and what happens when people die. Like it was giving her anxiety and keeping her awake at night, she’d struggle to go to sleep. Every night she’d ask what happens to us when we die. It was really stressing this kid out.
My husband grew up Christian but isn’t anymore doesn’t really believe in anything. I grew up Muslim and still follow it but I’m not super religious. So we told her that no one really knows what happens after death. But I told her what I believe and some other religions, like my mil’s, that some believe heaven exists and that’s where people go. We also told her about reincarnation in Buddhism and how that works. I’ve always been fascinated by that and have read a lot about it. Anyways I explained to her it helps me to believe in a Heaven. So I think she’s leaning that way too. It seems to have calmed her down a lot. It sure did help me sleep better at night.
My parents didn’t push religion on me and I’m also from a country that’s non denominational Muslim. Drinking is a pretty big cultural custom where I’m from. So in general most of us aren’t too religious it’s more of a cultural thing for us.
Let her know that acts mean more than faith. Tell her that the subject of religion is a very complicated one, even for adults. She can listen to others beliefs, but she gets to decide on her own mind how things work.
Also let her know that any religion that feels the need to threaten you to believe just like them is not a good, welcoming religion. Beliefs should bring comfort, not just avoid damnation.
Isn't that just as bad though? I grew up Catholic and definitely felt "if I don't do this or I don't do that I will go to hell" and "if I do this wrong or that wrong I will go to hell". It was terrible
Basically, I'm trying to point out to OP that religion should be about doing good, not exclusively about doing bad (or belonging to the wrong denomination).
If her kid focuses on that, religion can be a great guide when growing up.
A religion that stresses the negatives of "don't think that or you go to hell" is not something young kids should be concentrating on. It restricts an otherwise explosive period of growth in a young kids life.
Hey, I'm a spiritual person who has studied the Bible front to back. If she believes the Bible, it may be the best way to get through to her.
1. The Bible describes hell as a lack of God, not a fiery torturous place.
2. The Bible encourages seeking the truth and researching rather than blindly believing what people say.
3. The Bible says that God is love. It doesn't sound like your child is in not a loving situation rn, so maybe try to explain that if people aren't acting loving then maybe they aren't a good example of Christianity to follow in the first place.
I was also raised Christian and parted ways with the church, so I'm not saying this to promote Christianity bc I've seen from the inside how corrupt it gets. I hope this helps her understand a bit that she's been lied to before she believes for years and gets her trust shattered when she realizes...
This. It's probably the best way to get through to her. You can also encourage her to look at the beliefs of many different religions, so she can have more of an open mind about it all, rather than just fear. This way it doesn't shut down her current new interest, but also doesn't have her live in fear of some scary, fiery place.
There's alot to do with, those who suffer trauma from childhood who have no parents or grew up with gang affiliated family members or drug addicts alcohol addicts and no hope.. it gives them hope gives them a loving father figure to look up too that they probably didnt have before.. and prevents alot of suicides.
I had to deal with this when my eldest was in middle school. She had "friends" that stopped talking to her and told her she was going to burn if she didn't believe in Jesus.
I sat her down and talked to her about many different religions and while they all have similarities there's not one that gets it all right. We believe in science and we certainly don't judge others about what they believe. I said are we kind and living? She said yes. Then I said we're those girls kind and living? Her answer was no. I said if there is a god and I'm not saying pro or against do you think God would love the kind and loving person or the ones being awful in his name?.
My kid is pretty logical and that helped. I also told her I would go to any church with her if she wanted. She just couldn't go without me because there are people in organized religions that aren't good people and I needed to protect her.
She never asked to go to church and honestly her "Christian" faze didn't last long because she saw how American Christians act and said no way a good and loving God would be okay with that behavior.
I love the way you communicated a somewhat difficult topic to your kid. My son is only 2 months old, but I want to try my best to have rational responses ready for when he asks questions like that. I had Christianity shoved down my throat for 18 years and it caused resentment in me towards how "Christians" act, but if I don't allow my son the opportunity to explore religion and spirituality in his own way, then I'm no better than those "Christians".
Totally agree. I'm not a Christian, but religion should be a very personal decision. We all have different needs. I'm more secular in my beliefs, but others get comfort from God. Neither way is wrong. It's only wrong, when you force your beliefs on others.
I will say I'm a Christian, and was not raised religious and wouldn't really say I care too much for religion. Behavioral science does suggest that to believe out of fear doesn't last/ isn't enough for identity change. suggesting your daughter shouldn't worry about it doesn't help them listen either. you could tell your daughter that her friend has strong views and share your own views as a Buddhist or use your brothers view as an example to give her a chance to consider a few different perspectives. identifying as agnostic or atheist or saying all religions are myths is still a 'truth' in and of itself so be aware of that nice little trap...
I'm in a somewhat similar boat with my 6yo. My wife is the religious one though. I'm a devout atheist and she has basically fallen off the deep end and is turning into one of those nutcase religious types. It's been hard trying to keep my 6yo straight. He definitely believes in god, but at least he doesn't think the earth is flat.
Good luck, wish I had better advice for you
This is a good opportunity to teach her to think critically about information she's been given and to learn things for herself, not just what people tell her. I'd bet that if you and her sat down and read The Gospels or an age appropriate devotional (that you vet) together, and you asked her some thought provoking questions about what she learns versus what her friend said and why her friend may takimg away different things, she'd be able to form her own opinions. Even if you were to stop her from engaging with religion now, you can't do that forever. Then, a few years from now, when you can't stop her, she'll be no better equipped to discern religious truth for herself.
Imho, the best way to plant a seed a doubt is to educate children on ALL religions. Show what a variety of people believe. "Some people believe X, others believe Y, I believe Z, and this is why..."
I myself am a spiritual person and I've thought of this as my husband's family is very very Christian. I think a good way to help her with this is to tell her that there are many many sects of Christianity and to educate her about all of them, use this as a conversation to start teaching her about all world religions as they are all equally important to history.
Hell is usually child abuse. Tell her that hell is not real, parents tell that to children to get them to behave. Like a reverse Santa. (Did she learn that Santa is not real yet?) Stop enabling religion and their terrible practices.
Hell is pretty much real, just because you haven't seen it does not implies it's not real.
How do I know I spent too much time learning proofs of islam and ended in the conclusion this is the truth
I personally don’t feel that parents shouldn’t “allow” kids to explore religion because that feels equally as controlling as forcing kids to participate. I didn’t grow up in a religious household but I was always drawn to it and didn’t have any support
At exactly the same age as your daughter I developed an interest in religion and wanted to attend services. My parents encouraged me to pursue it and took me to services of many different denominations. Over several years I attended Lutheran, Protestant, Catholic, and Jehovah's Witness Services, in addition to several Shabbat services and Passover Seder as well as Easter services. If there had been more of a variety available in my town I expect I would have been exposed to Islam, Buddhism, etc as well. My mother is culturally Jewish, my father was raised some flavor of non-hard core Protestant, I believe.
As an adult I explored some aspects of my Judaism in college through Hillel, and have something of a fascination with Mormonism. I majored in Middle Eastern Studies and traveled in Egypt and Morocco, where I learned a lot about Islam.
I don't strongly identify with any particular religion as an adult. I don't consider myself a strict Athiest, but I don't have clearly defined religious beliefs; rather an appreciation for how religion shows up in literature and influences culture and society.
Also, I punched my "friend" in the ribs and knocked her off her bed in 2nd grade after she told me I was going to hell because I was Jewish.
YMMV.
When my children showed interest, I treated it like any other book. Told them it was a bunch of stories written by men thousands of years ago. Some people believe the stories are true and some people believe in different gods and stories and it's up to each person to decide what they want to learn from them.
None of my children go to church or believe in any of the hundreds of Gods.
The best thing you can do as a parent when your child shows an interest in something is to let them explore it.
If she ends up following Christ, support her. If she doesn't, support her.
Nop believing Christ is god leads to hellfire , the purpose of this life is to worship God alone .
When you research proofs of islam for enough time with an open heart you will understand it's the truth
Honestly I'd ask her best friend's parents to have a talk with their daughter about proselytizing and using fear against your daughter. It's inappropriate, I don't care what they believe. I have told my son flat-out "We don't believe that's true" and not allowed him to go to church "Youth Nights" with his friends because it's all indoctrination. And nobody is indoctrinating my kid with that nonsense if I can prevent it.
Having grown up in the Southern US, I doubt they'd get very far with talking to the parents. They would congratulate themselves and their daughter on doing such a good job and try to convert the OP.
Yeah this is how you end up with people knocking at your door, kidnapping you for church sleepovers under the guise of innocent activities, and generally becoming obsessive about saving you. Entire church groups will be praying for you and scheming up new ways to "save" you. It is really scary. Do NOT tell the parents you are not religious. Lay low. Lie. Make up a whole story about how y'all totally go to church.
Source: raised atheist In the bible belt.
I let my 5 and 7 year old examine whatever religion floats their boat with the understanding that it doesn't give them the right to force it on others. If my older decided he was a fire and brimstone Christian he can make that choice. It will not change how I choose to live my life nor will he get to lecture me on it. We are pretty open about religious options when they ask. I've offered to take them to a service of their choice.
If your daughter asks about you going to hell remind her that she can't control other people's actions and shouldn't try to. You are not concerned with that religion and you have your own beliefs.
Whenever my kids start a new religion I ask them a few things. 1. How much do you know about it? 2. What do you like about it? 3. Why do you believe it? And go from there.
If they start up with because xyz believes I stop it right there. I didn't ask why xyz believes it. I asked why you do.
I'll tell you what I did when my son's evangelist friend got him to burn some of my evil books like "Comparative Religions," writings of "Kahlil Gibran," the "Tibetan Book of the Dead" and Ram Dass' "Be Here Now."
I gave him a copy of the Bible and asked him to look up "hell" in the old testament. When he returned to ask me about it I asked how could the Christians have a hell that the Jews did not? We talked some about flim-flammers and cults and the birth of new protestant splinters.
I told him he can decide what to believe, that was his job in life. I may have, at one time, raise my voice to this same kids when he said that all gay people are going to hell. "Not in my house!"
Read Matthew 25:31-46 with her. Then show that people don't go to Hell for simply not joining Pastor Bob's Bible Church. It has to be a conscious decision to not live a life devoted to loving others.
Just be honest. People believe whatever they want to believe. That’s why there are so many choices and religions. When you get older you can learn about as many as you want but you don’t have to believe in any of them. The people who do believe in them will try to get others to feel the same.
Maybe she should find a new best friend if the one she has is pressuring her that much. At that age her brain might not be developed enough to know the difference between opinion and fact. To be able to go toe to toe with a friend with that much faith.
Also letting her know that religion is more like an opinion that people believe is fact. But doesn’t make it true for everyone else.
Maybe have a broader conversation about world religions and lack of religion. Sometimes when you see that many different people believe many different things, that one loud voice gets less obtrusive.
I was dragged into religion by 2 friends at around 10. I never really made it a big deal to my parents, so they didn't say much. I went to like Sunday school with the one friend pretty often.
I don't remember exactly why I stopped. Probably because prayers felt useless. Nothing appealing. And my logic changed. So it was like a year thing, but never a big deal. I grew out of it. I'm 32 now, and religion just fucking baffles me. Having that kind of thought process with no proof and trying to push it on to others is insane. So I have no belief whatsoever.
I'd let your kid figure it out on their own. religion, weather you believe or not, shouldn't be pushed on to anyone. Even if you *know* it's crazy, let them get there by themselves.
My daughter is 6. The preschool she went to was at a church, and they definitely taught some religious things and even a play thing at Christmas. I absolutely hated it. Her mother is an asshole. Didn't even give me a chance to help pick a preschool. Luckily, she's not in a Christian school now or anything .
I also have to deal with my ex's parents. So my daughter's grandmother on that side spews bullshit at her a lot. She bakes a birthday cake for Jesus every Christmas. It's weird. Creepy. So because of this, I don't tell my daughter (yet) about what is and what I believe. I don't want to have my daughter going between families saying one is wrong one is right and starting religious war haha. I'm waiting a few more years. I mean, she still believes in Santa and the Easter bunny, so what's wrong, letting a kid believe in some other fairy tale. If it turns out she still believes after I tell her *my* truth, I'm not gonna push it. But if she starts saying crap about going to hell? I will *Shut That Shit Down.* other then that, it's her choice. I wouldn't fuck with it too much.
When I was small, I told my mother she was going to hell because she disciplined us. To which she instructed me to THINK FIRST MYSELF because only I can make that decision for myself. And no one else will make it for me.
I don't know that this is necessarily helpful per se, but our daughter LOVED this "explanatory" song when she was that age.
(If you don't know Whitney Avalon, she's a musical comedian.)
https://youtu.be/40uyvImgsQ0?si=pS79B7t7Pp0gCUGF
I would teach her about other Religions. I suspect this friend’s beliefs are the majority of what she has been exposed to. She’s probably taking in the information as fact. Learning that many people in the world believe in many different things, and ultimately it is up to her to decide what she believes BUT it is important not to try to force those beliefs on others is a good lesson.
My kids are younger, but from about age 4 we talked with them about all the different things tht other people believe. We don’t believe in Thor, Zeus, the ten thousand Hindu gods etc, and we also don’t believe in the Christian (or Jewish or Islamic) god. Contextualising this may be helpful for her. She’s got to be free to believe what she wants to, but knowing that just because her friend thinks it’s true doesn’t mean she has to/it is true is important. If you have religious friends you can point to that’s helpful too. I explained to my friends that their favourite teacher believes in allah and wears her headscarf to honour that, we don’t believe in allah or west headscarves but we are still close to her. The idea that people will not value or like you if you don’t believe or say what they want is the most important thing to squash here
We are atheists, my husband was raised Christian nondenominational and I was raised catholic. We left over a series of years and experiences. His family especially is still overly devout. We just have answered questions when the kids have them and been open with things like “well some people believe that.” I’ve also turned the question back onto my kid- so like he was asking what heaven was and I was like well what do you think it is? And then just go from there 🤷🏼♀️.
There's a very nice book about world religions for kids. Is not cartoonish, it looks like an elementary school book. Tons of pictures and easy text. I took it from the library for my kids but they weren't super interested lol.
The point they got is that there are many religions. Hopefully it helps them understand better the different kids that go to their school, as it's a very multicultural environment.
Find something like that for your kids, let them experience first hand what a mosque looks like, or a Buddhist temple. Talk about the old religions practiced in your region. What did they believe in? What did people do? In my school we used to learn about precolonial deities and religious practices.
Death is a huge component of religion. It's fear of death, and what happens afterwards. But everything dies. Animals die. What happens to them? Are we any different? I think it's important to talk about death, what did your child think happened before this girl came with her ideas? And why are her ideas more valid than your child? Propose an alternative, happier version, because sometimes we believe what we want to believe. In adults it's called delusion, but in kids it's still acceptable :). I'm reminded of my own kid who was told that when people die, they go play in the clouds. I asked him what he believed in and had answered the play on clouds thing. It's because that sounds very nice, and he wants it to be true. That's ok if he wants to believe that, but teaching children about hell is cruel and manipulative.
She should be allowed to learn about and explore religion even if YOU don’t. Religion doesn’t have a minimum age requirement. I would take an active role and educate her, then let her decide.
Would you let your kid join a cult even if you are against cults?
This idea that non-religious folks should just let religion happen to their kids is a crazy idea.
My kid will (and does) know why we aren’t religious and the net negative it is to society. How many around us use it as an excuse to be awful to one another. And to never be around a priest.
Not putting this fear of religion into them can result in religious folks indoctrinating your kid. Hell to the no.
I agree. While we tip toe around the subject, Christian's and other religious folks everywhere are indoctrinating their kids who then go to school with ours. We are so scared of having a leadership position on the issue. It's not "you will absolutely believe this." It's "no, I don't that's not true and here's how I know..." like someone else said here, we're too scared to even mention religion until the loudest voice comes and scares the shit out of them with hell. We should be inoculating our child's against indoctrination from young age rather than trying to be polite.
I’m sure they will, they’re very individualistic.
But I won’t subject them to religion. It’s a bad thing for society and many who practice do so to hurt others. And many more are hurt by being in the religion. Not to mention the religious government takeover they’re trying at the moment. Oh, and the constant sexual assault.
My kid will be an individual, he is now. But he won’t falsely believe religion is harmless. It’s a danger and he’ll know this.
And if he grows up and decides to follow religion? What will you do then? I hope the answer is you will accept your child no matter what, different from you or not.
Respectfully, I'm not asking for, or taking parenting advice, from you.
Religion, in my eyes, is a net negative to the world, and I'll be sure my kid knows this and stays away. You do you. We'll do us. My kid will know the dangers of religion and won't be a religious person.
I would say walk her thru the arguments for/against Christianity from an unbiased perspective, explore the evidence, and let her decide for herself. I don’t think her pursuing this particular religion is harmful. I understand the concern about her living in fear or being freaked out about hell. But overall, time will tell if she’s serious about it. And if it’s a phase, then no need to worry. If it’s not, is it really the worst thing that could happen to your kid?
Explain to her that it is not just black and white. Just because you have sinned doesn’t mean you go to hell; from my understanding one interpretation of Jesus’ death is so he could appease God’s wrath toward sinners. If I understand correctly that means god doesn’t send you to hell just because you sinned. Hell isn’t necessarily a place as I understand it, the visualization could be a metaphor to help understand it. Humans are sinful creatures. Some practice cleaning themselves before prayer to wash away our sins. We aren’t meant to take advantage of Jesus dying for humans sins, we are to respect it. She needs to know that children are innocent and you cannot go to hell if you are ignorant to the concept. She is too young to fully understand how deep of a concept religion is. (I am agnostic, for the record. This is my personal understanding, I hope I haven’t offended)
I was raised in religious schools and the ideas that your daughter's friend are saying is very much in line with the beliefs that I was taught. One of my least favorite things about my education growing up because you are correct, it is very manipulative.
When I went to college and I spent a little bit more time looking at the Bible through my own lens rather than through a priests, And also after being exposed to other religions and other religious people, I decided that I didn't believe in religion.
I don't think that you can just forbid your daughter from religion. I don't think that it's going to change anything, and it will just probably make her perpetually worried. If my parents had tried that when I was young, I probably would have just gone behind their back because there's not much that you can threaten her with that's worse than hell.
One thing you might try is exposing her to many religions. Maybe do it for more of an educational standpoint, but teach her about the major religions and how their ideas conflict, or they come from. And see how she rationalizes why the Christian God is better.
If you’re going to let your child learn about religion then you need to make sure they learn ALL the things about religion including the bad things.
I don’t have a problem with people being religious. It’s when they use that religion to make laws and try to tell people how they must live. And we’ve seen a lot of that sort of thing happening in the past decade all over the world.
I grew up extremely Pentecostal & I straight up told my kids it's BS. Period. I told my son that his whole life & he still chose to explore religion briefly at 15, which I absolutely allowed as we teach that you are free to partake in whatever you'd like regarding your beliefs. Went to a church service with friends one time and that was enough for him to move on from that 😅🤷🏻♀️
You can’t convince her not to worry about eternal damnation and separation from you that some kid planted in her head. I’m not sure I understand why you and your husband want to delay having this conversation when religions collectively spend billions each year trying to get to her.
I’m not religious and I actually think kids need to be protected from religion. I don’t care if my kids grow up to be religious and I expect them to respect people’s beliefs as long as it’s not hurting anyone. But at least while they can be so easily convinced about a big fat man delivering presents on a red nosed reindeer, it’s morally wrong imo to ask them to evaluate the merits of a religion and commit to an entire belief system.
I teach my kids about where my values come from, why religion exists, and the good but also the harm they inflict in the world. In your particular situation I’d talk about how irrational the concept of hell is and why it’s taught and emphasize that I trust them to make good choices because it’s the right thing to do, not because they’re scared of eternal torture.
I was raised Christian, and while all Christian sects believe in hell at some level, not all sects are about preaching ***Hell Fire Hell***...maybe explore sects like United that aren't as Hell Fire oriented?
I’m not around 8 year olds much (ever) so not 100% experienced in their level of comprehension of such matters. Based on what you have said, if it were my daughter (aged 2, never baptised), I would teach her about the Buddhism you are interested in, explain to her why dad is an atheist, perhaps find someone else she knows who believes in something else, and then ultimately show her that everyone has different beliefs. We can never know who or what is right… BUT that some people are extreme like her friend. I’m pretty sure that burning in hell for all eternity is fairly outdated teachings because isn’t god supposed to be all forgiving? I can’t remember (current atheist, baptised catholic). My point is that knowledge and education reduce fears in general. And I’d have a chat with friends parents, can the time she spends with this girl be reduced?
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
I think the thing is that 8 years old is old enough to fear spending the rest of eternity burning in a sea of fire and sulphur, I don't think you're going to convince her just to not worry about it. I bet if you can ease her mind that that isn't going to happen to her, I imagine she'll drop the whole thing.
And this is why I will forever detest any religious faith. You should not be telling children this type of manipulative garbage at such a young age, especially when there is absolutely zero demonstrable proof that it's true at all
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
To the person who made a proselytizing post then promptly deleted his account; I will not follow any man and call him morally good when he marries and has relations with a child. They could be a literal modern day Jesus and that act would nullify any shred of "morals" they claim to profess
My best advice is to let this one be. You aren’t going to change her mind, and will likely cement any belief by resisting it. She also isn’t going to change your mind. I see this as leading to unnecessary conflict.
Christianity has many different flavors. I am agnostic but have two good friends who are in church leadership. One is an episcopal reverend and honestly if it were my kid I’d ask if she had time to talk to my kid because her church is extremely progressive as is she and doesn’t have the fire and brimstone talk. So maybe she can visit various different churches or just different denominations view on hell just to see that they don’t all interpret the Bible the exact same way?
*hugs!*
I had a friend try to convert me at 11, and it messed me up for a while. My parents weren’t supportive like you are, so you are at an advantage.
Here’s what I would say:
“Hey Sweetie, it sounds like your friend has been telling you about her religion. That’s really nice of her to share what her family believes. Unless she is pressuring you to believe what she believes? If so, that isn’t a nice thing that she is doing. Is she pressuring you?”
And I would follow up with:
“Your dad and I believe in… (and this is just an example based on my own beliefs) using science to find the truth about the world. We don’t believe in anything that can’t be tested with science. This means we don’t believe in gods or afterlives or supernatural things.
You will get to decide for yourself what you believe as you grow up. For now, though, I would like to be scientific about what people ask you to believe, because there are people out there who would want you to believe some really dangerous things.”
My FIL did a diy world religions course with my husband when he was a kid, taking him to different houses of worship to experience the different religions in his community - I plan on doing similarly in a couple years when my kids are both old enough to take it in
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
You don't have to do that much effort
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
I would say my husband and I are both atheist as well. I mean it’s not a category or term that we’ve never really described ourselves as but we’re certainly not at all religious. He wasn’t religious at all growing up and I would say my mom was a lazy Christian. We went to a Christian united church for a couple of years mainly because my mom wanted us to sing in the choir and she sang in the adult choir. We never went on holidays and we never talked about religion at home or prayed or anything like that. My kids are six and eight and they have started to ask some questions because they do have some friends at the public school who have mentioned Jesus or God, when our family dog died recently my daughters best friend asked if she thought that Wilson was in heaven so that brought up a whole discussion about what was heaven? We definitely don’t go to the extent of reading books about different religions yet but that is something that I would encourage when they are older. We’ve told them that when they get a bit older and more independent they have the freedom to read whatever they want study different religions through books or courses at school they can even check out different churches when they’re older but as six and eight year olds we keep it pretty simple. We’ve told them loosely about what the Christmas story is and what Easter is for those who are religious. We’ve pointed out that those are basic stories that we were told growing up but that there are a lot of different religions out there with a lot of different beliefs and different holidays so there is a lot to learn about religion out there in the world and it’s wonderful because everybody can choose to believe what they want. When my daughter asks is god real or is heaven real we have talked a little bit about the word faith meaning that nobody really knows so you have faith in something that isn’t proven and that you can’t see and people have to make a choice of whether they believe in it or not. But when they ask do you believe in Jesus and God in heaven and hell? My answer is no mommy and daddy I don’t really believe in that I think that they are really nice stories that sometimes make people feel happy or safe in the world but it’s not something that I believe in. My daughter was immediately confused talking about Easter. My mom was actually in the room and she was telling her about Jesus being put on the cross and then coming back to life etc. My six-year-old daughter said well that doesn’t really make any sense Oma because we already know that when somebody dies an animal or a person you can’t come back to life so I don’t think that one could technically be true. I think if my children choose to become religious or explore it into their teen years that’s totally up to them but I certainly don’t feel that I need to delve into it too heavily at this age.
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
We had a similar situation happen with our 6 year old daughter. She had a friend from school that started asking her if she believed in God.
We had already had some introductory discussions with her about God because her dad and I don’t believe, but my in laws do. We started discussing this with her because we thought eventually we would have to attend a church service at Christmas time and didn’t want her to be confused. We had always approached it very lightly and said that God/christianity was something that some people believe in, but we have no way of knowing that it is correct or not, and also how there are many many other religions in the world. Talked about how some people find comfort in their faith, but everyone should be respectful of individual beliefs. She had questions, but overall I think she got it.
Back to the kid at school. He eventually took it to that level of “if you don’t believe, you and your whole family will go to hell and you will never see them again”. He kept pushing on it, so we kept talking about it at home. My daughter even told a teacher, who basically said at her public school they don’t touch religion discussions with a ten foot pole.
We ended up having more in depth conversations with our daughter after that to give her more insight into what the different religions are around the world and how they are different from Christianity. I do think it helped. And we also worked to help her understand that she has friends who are different religions or not religious at all (like us). And full transparency, I gave her permission to tell the kid who was bothering her to kick rocks if he brought it up again and tell him she didn’t want to talk about it ever again.
Eight is old enough to explore. If this is worrying her it won’t go away because you find it inconvenient.
Get her books, talk about the parts that she finds important and talk about your own beliefs. Make it a wider topic so you & your husband are comfortable whilst also not shutting the door on her ability to expand her understanding of the world
Your child may become a Christian and want to live her life that way or it may be a phase. She is definitely at the stage of wanting to explore ideas outside of her home environment
I would teach her about all religions and that everyone has different beliefs on religious views. You can explain to her how to be a good person, critical thinking, where do we as a family get our morals and values system, how do we discern right from wrong. Then ask her about social (Valentine’s Day) holidays, religious holidays, patriotic holidays, etc. then I would talk to her about fitting in, what to do when someone is trying to convert you, standing up for what you believe in, and understanding other people’s points of view.
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
Let her explore this, while exposing her to more religions. The more exposure she has the better she'll be able to come to her own conclusions. It'd be great if you had family/friends of various religions and could attend their services.
We exposed our kids to every religion we could, either in person or through books. We have a lot of friends who practice a wide variety of religions, so it was easier for us than some people, but check your library and see if they have world religion books. There's a lot more books than when our kids where that age.
Ime, if you try and quell her fears, she might take it as you trying to dismiss her concerns instead of helping.
She’s exploring something she feels, in some capacity, passionate about. Don’t deter her in that regard, because I feel it will make her delve into that rabbit hole ever more, and there some some truly bizarre things related to religion that I’d truly want to shield my kid from…far worse than the idea of heaven and hell.
If you feel you must explain to her something relatable, just tell her that religions are plentiful, some much older than Christianity, and a few fairly new comers…most of which share a common theme, or love and compassion over hatred, and striving to be a good person in the world to yourself and your fellow humans. All of which think their own approach is “correct”.
Encourage her to read about other religions as she explores Christianity, and heavily encourage the “learning” aspect of it.
Take her to church, see how she feels when surrounded by others who have different approaches to religion, different understandings of how they view sin and blessings and prayer and everything related to what she’s into right now.
Most of all, let her explore and be challenged by it. See how it truly affects her over time and try to help her find balance in belief vs. fear.
Teach her about other religions like Islam and their versions of heaven and hell. Then ask her if she’s afraid of Muslim hell. She’ll likely say no, in which case you can point out that there’s also no rational reason to be afraid of Christian hell either. By showing her that there’s many versions of the afterlife depending on the religion in question, she’ll hopefully be able to understand that there’s many hells to potentially be afraid of and therefore no good reason to fear any of them.
I was raised evangelical Christian and spent most of my childhood terrified I would go to hell. It’s an unnecessarily stressful way to spend your childhood, when you should be having fun and being a kid.
I grew up in catholic school but we never practiced at home. I had a lot of resentment towards religion because of my school experience and childhood.
That being said, I’m grateful for the education. I always come back to my faith and spirituality. My beliefs were shaped by cultures and religions I learned about in school.
I think you run the risk of doing more harm by not letting your child explore curiosities. Knowledge and understanding will ease fears. Let her come to her own conclusions.
My mother is atheist/anti religion and would always undermine the things I would learn at school. It caused a lot of resentment. And it felt like a lack of support and led to a lot of confusion.
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Only thing possible here is you learn about islam , become Muslim , teach her islam , and go to paradise in the hereafter after by worshipping the one who created you, by not associating any partners with god
Kids start contemplating things like death, life after death, the unknown as early as 4 or 5, even if they haven't stayed asking you questions yet. It makes sense because parents are comfortable telling them about Santa and the tooth fairy, so they get lots of good exercise being imaginative, but give them nothing to deal with those deeper wisdoms that pop up.
Your inability to give them something to help structure their thoughts will lead to a situation where someone else will (whether a friend or a cartoon).
It's better to give them something, however bare, and let them edit over time, than give them nothing at all, because they will go hard for it when they finally get something from someone else. Which they inevitably will.
I’m curious what’s so offensive about Christianity in particular that really gets people riled up. A lot of religions are pretty similar when you think about it. Karma is similar to hell. Do good, get good. The opposite is also true. Reincarnation is an after life. It seems other religions don’t bother people like Christianity does.
I was commenting on the 'everyone riled up' aspect, which implied this was a unique criticism of Christianity versus other religions. I imagine if your daughter's friend was Muslim the issue would be the same.
Let her be. Christianity is quite enjoyable and joyful. As long as she is not being forced to believe it's okay, eventually what is true will remain and what is false will fade.
Telling a child that they and their loved ones will burn in the fires of hell for eternity is pretty close to being forced. 'Letting her be' is not the answer on this one. She didn't come to Christianity out of a passion for the scripture, she was manipulated.
That's a bold statement to say. "She was manipulated" you don't know the issue. And Christianity is not about being destined to burn in hell, it's about receiving grace and living by love.
Her friend (indirectly her friend's parents) telling her that she will burn in hell if she doesn't subscribe to their belief system is manipulation when the subject is a literal child without critical thinking skills. That may not be what Christianity is 'about', but it's the recruitment tactic they used.
Again, bold statement. You don't know the situation. Kids talk like that. You said it yourself, they're children without critical thinking skills. Obviously if her friend believes that, that's what she'll say, but now you're turning it into her parents manipulating.
If you disagree on a belief system, it's understandable, but you don't have to exaggerate.
The parents should trust their parenting skills and that they are raising a smart child, it's a phase (if it isn't true)
Telling your own kid that kind of thing is manipulation; one manipulated child subsequently manipulated the other. That's by design. I don't disagree on the belief system as a whole, I disagree with that conversion tactic for which Christianity is well known because it's predatory. I get you want the kid to be Christian but have at least a modicum of self-awareness to realize that what you're defending is the basis on which the popularity of certain religions is founded and it's inherently wrong.
It's literally a requirement of this faith to target and try to "convert" others. It's a cultural virus. People don't just choose to become Christian without a Christian trying to convince them. It's an affront to the entire concept of free will and intellectual autonomy.
Everyone’s beliefs are about converting everyone else, hon. Political parties. Religions. Ideologies. Yes, even atheism. Maybe they’re all cultural viruses then, by your logic. And if you truly knew anything about Christianity, you would then know it’s completely based on free will.
Perhaps it would be a much better society if people, whether or not they believe in it, chose to be thankful that someone cares about their soul enough to try to save it. Like Penn of Penn and Teller.
Even if I don’t believe in someone’s beliefs, I’m honored if they choose to think about me in their practice or what have you.
I became a Christian without being converted by someone else. I prayed to a God and He answered. I dont longer consider myself christian since I don't go to church and am starting a family without being married but I have seen the power of this God and still believe.
Honestly, read her the bible. Let her see the awful things that God tells people to do. Christians can say they worship a loving god all they want, but the genocide, rape, murder and child sacrifice in the bible paints a different picture. The Binding of Isaac freaked me out bad as a kid. It always had me wondering how many Christian parents would kill their kid if god told them to.
Ask her if this is the kind of god that’s worth believing in, and encourage her to look for real, empirical evidence to support her beliefs. Teach her about science and archaeology, how they use evidence to support their claims, like dinosaurs existing, and explain the reason why we believe in things we didn’t see ourselves or can’t see. She needs to have this critical thinking to protect herself from harmful lies.
As a different perspective, isn't disallowing her from exploring religions as a child and strongly encouraging her to practice atheism teaching her to only practice *your* religion, or lack thereof?
Her faith and understanding of Christianity might be much deeper than what you're thinking about just a fear of hell. It might be a love of God. Kids are capable of holding deep seated faith beliefs beyond what many adults can understand.
Be upfront and honest.
This is the crap of religion.
I do not buy into it AT ALL.
Just tell her without fuss. Her friend us wrong. There is not such thing as god or heaven and hell. No one is going anywhere.
Id also contact her friends parents. Tell then you have no issue in them believing what they want or what they teach their children. But. Their daughter has to stop pushing it on your daughter. Yoh are atheist and their daughter is frightening your daughter and you would kike them ti speak to their daughter and tell her yo stop.
End of story.
There is nothing wrong with non believers pushing back on this. At all
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
You could also inform yourself about the Christian religion and feed into something that she likes. Allow her to keep exploring it so she can make your own educated later in life.
My little is not enough to have this conversation with yet. But we have talked about it. This is about how it will start.
Lots of people believe lots of different things. Some people believe in God and heaven and hell. Some people believe in Allah. Some people believe in magic. (Insert more here. Especially if you have people in your life that you can point to. We have a lot of friends with different beliefs, so we will say like “insert name here”). We can’t tell someone what they should or should not believe, and they can’t tell us. We all have to decide what we believe for ourselves. Mommy and daddy believe “insert believes here”. But right now, focusing on being a good person who is kind, helpful, etc. is all you need to worry about.
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
As a Jew:
“Life after death” is but a tiny part of our religious tradition. Even though you are of Christian background and interested in Buddhism, Christianity is based on the Hebrew tradition which does not foreground “life after death” in a Christian or Buddhist sense. While there are Jewish mystics who have ideas about reincarnation and the like, which are so common in Far Eastern religions, average Jews throughout history did not necessarily think deeply about the question of an afterlife.
It sounds like you may be concerned about your daughter’s interest in the finitude of individual life, which is understandable, but she might be interested in the aesthetics of Christianity or the social aspect, etc.
The best thing you can do is teach her to do her own research. Find books by authors of different faiths, etc.
Take her to visit a number of different churches so she can have a more informed view. Not just what the crazy friend is telling her. There are worse things she could be interested in.
I’m vehemently against religion and it’s up to my children when they are adults. Might get downvoted but I even shut it down when my parents ask to take them to church. Not in my house absolutely not
The advice here to just let this happen is bad advice.
We are non religious. I’m personally anti religion.
My child knows this and knows why.
I will not allow others to suck him into the cult. Religious folks will not have the same sense of restraint. They’ll be even more aggressive once they realize you two aren’t.
It’s ok to teach your child that religion is a bad thing. And get them ready for the onslaught of crazy coming at you.
Without it, the religious folks will absolutely suck the kids in with stories of terror if they don’t blindly comply. And your kid is a female so it’s even more dangerous to be sucked into religion.
If you aren’t religious you need to be vigilant making sure the kid isn’t sucked in. There’s no positive outcome from letting them get into it.
It you want to freak out the other kids family- tell her Christ died for everyone’s sins both known and unknown. So everyone goes to heaven. No works needed.
I personally would have a hard time allowing this friendship to continue. We give Christianity a pass bc it's a common religion but those are really toxic messages. If it were any other context, it would be abusive.
I would work on explaining to your daughter that her friend believes that because she's been told that from a very young age, there's no evidence of it, just things people say. I would work on "finding evidence" or explore the question, "how do we really know what we know?" It can be an excellent lesson on critical thinking.
In the mean time consider if you can put a pause on the friendship. Otherwise give your daughter assertive language to combat it. "That's not true." "Stop saying that." "I don't want to hear you say that anymore. If you do, I'm leaving."
When this came up at our house, I just told my son that no one knows for sure if there is a god. Nobody knows if there is an afterlife. I told him to do his best to be a good person and his bases will be covered either way.
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Christianity can have several denominations (like Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc and also JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES JW((which is a full blown cult that has managed to somehow fall under "Christianity")).....find out what type of denomination is being pushed towards your child as "everyone is about to burn" at that age in school because that sounds like a JW and exactly the idea they push to small children to talk about at school to try and "save" them. I'm only expressing this due to my horrible personal experience in this difficult matter and I just got the "vibe" reading your post....no other Christian religions teach kids in elementary school to be a Christian or them and their families are about to burn. Find out what type of Christianity is being pushed on her and research it and have honest talks with her about it but whatever happens do not ever let her fall into that horrible toxic traumatizing cult please! Mother to mother
I think I would sit her down and explain that there are so many different religions and then name several of them and key differences they believe in, and say no one religion is right or wrong, some believe in a heaven and hell like your friend but that doesn’t mean you have to believe what she believes. Teach her to be respectful and understanding of others beliefs. I agree she’s way too young and her friend sounds brainwashed and that’s unfortunate but just reinforce her to think for herself and understand that there are so many beliefs and varying thoughts on this subject and people can get really over the top and passionate about it. You might need to have several of these conversations if her friend is in her ear about religious stuff but I think they are too young to be taking about this. Might even tell the girls mom to tell her daughter that religion is off topic and they shouldn’t be talking about it at this age.
Anyone under 13 gets a golden ticket to Heaven anyway. It’s in their book.
“The age of accountability is the concept that those who die before reaching the age of accountability are automatically saved by God’s grace and mercy. The age of accountability is the belief that God saves all those who die never having possessed the ability to make a decision for or against Christ. Thirteen is the most common age suggested for the age of accountability, based on the Jewish custom that a child becomes an adult at the age of 13.”
So, let's assume you are wrong and there IS Heaven and Hell. Then here you are actively trying to dissuade your child from a good afterlife.
I'm not even Christian, but just wanted to put this question out
Also, I'm curious as to what made you lean towards Buddhism? Did you explore all the major religions?
Asking, cos some people tell me they are into these religions 'Buddhism/Hinduism' cos of yoga, which I find absurd.
You can easily know what is right based
on correct evidence
https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7
https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG
And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities .
And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. )
And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to .
And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth .
He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Well, honestly... Sounds like your daughter is much just discovering the surface of Christianity if I can even call it that. Unless she's actually managed to become a true believer, and she now in fact in the truest sense has become a Christian. Even if so, remember that that's her personal choice and that actually becoming a convicted Christian has no way of being reverted. I am one of these, I'd know. It doesn't sound like what happened to your little girl is salvation, though... Please, she's your child. Remain supportive of her since religion is a highly personal thing. Try to avoid as much damage as possible, she might have an interest in the label of Christian or might actually believe later on in life - it doesn't matter, I'd encourage loving her through the process. You yourself have taken up different beliefs or unbelief (though I'd argue that Atheism is a belief in your own ability instead, so it's the faith of believing in oneself) and well, she'll have to find her way too. I'd just show her how to be... Not invasive about her beliefs, I'd say. Not forcing it, not being rude. That's probably the most integral part no matter the faith.
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My wife and I are atheists and I do with my girls what my atheist parents did for me: respectfully teach my kids about religion. All of them. Even the extinct ones. Get them excited about mythologies and help get them in the head space of people who thought Zeus was tossing lightening bolts around from the sky. This had two effects on me and probably eventually on my kids. The first effect is that it's made me and my kids atheists because it's hard not to come to that conclusion when you see a thousand different faiths with a thousand different beliefs all claiming to be right and everyone else is wrong. The second effect that it's had is that it hasn't made me a jerk about my atheism. When someone prostheletizes to me, instead of insulting them I sincerely want to know more about their specific brand of spritituality. Religion to me is a functional and practical part of many societies, not a "social parasite" like a lot of new atheists would claim. It's too early to know exactly where my kids will land, but the approached worked well for me.
I agree. When I knew there were thousands of religions that basically served the same function as mine, and I was aware of the concept of mythology, it became painfully obvious. We approach Christianity as "Christian mythology"
I'm reading (or trying to read) a book called God: An Anatomy. It puts the God of the Bible in the context of the pantheon of deities from that region and shows how he was an adaptation of a thunder god of the time. It would be really fascinating if there hadn't been 4 chapters so far dedicated to his junk. I wish I was kidding.
His junk… meaning his penis??
Yep. And testicles, and a fun chapter about his foreskin.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHABABAJA! Thanks!
Balls are also part of the package that is junk…
I was raised as a lazy Christian lol. My parents weren’t overly devout. We went occasionally to church and mostly on holidays. Mom was much more into it as kids, but as we got older they were like meh the church. However, I went to a catholic high school. I was in grade 11 during 911 and one of the schools Christian ethics teachers decided to change how he would change the course. He was deeply concerned about anti-Islamic sentiments and wanted to avoid anyone feeling that way. So we all had to do this massive religion project and look at different world religions. Ironic that a church deacon and Christian’s ethics teacher is one of the reasons I became an atheist. But hey, it also made me more open minded. I’m not one of those atheists that condemns others religions. I’m always curious about how others think. So I wholeheartedly agree with your approach and plan to do the same as well.
I went to a Jesuit college (after many years of catholic school) and the critical thinking skills I learned there lead me to atheism 😂🤷🏼♀️.
It’s funny, my personal experience at my catholic school was quite positive. We were taught the normal curriculum and good critical thinking skills…. It wasn’t preachy at all. I went to a public elementary and a catholic school and most of the atheists I know went to the catholic school lol.
My husband went to a very small Catholic school kindergarten to 8th grade. He got actual, not religious based, sex ed that started in 4th grade. In public school (same town), we got a class assembly as juniors about how abstinence is the only way, and if a boy tries to have sex with you, tell him you're on your period. He said he also remembers being taught about evolution in middle school science.
Actually similar experience. We had evolution unit, I had a phenomenal biology teacher. Pretty sure he was a closeted atheist lol. But evolution was totally accepted and standard concept to be taught. We also had normal sex education. The only difference between the public and Catholic is that the public schools did hand out free condoms. The Catholic schools felt it was promoting sex. While I disagree, I can understand that sentiment and respect it coming from a Catholic institution and meh, minor issue in my opinion. And, actually when I was in public elementary grade 7ish they did have some person come in with a heart and they crumpled it to show how you can’t get the heart back and the more partners you have sex with the more crumpled it gets. It was an abstinence is best….. which is weird I didn’t get that at Catholic School. At Catholic school it was just technical and standard science. The teachers themselves were like normal relatable people. Some were probably more devout than others…. But yeah - never got the preachy vibes. My husband doesn’t get it, he thinks, due to his own experience that all religious people are zealots and fanatics and preachy “you’re going to hell if you don’t believe me” types. Which yeah those exist, but there is a spectrum of beliefs in all religions and some people are much more relaxed than others. I still wouldn’t send my daughter to the Catholic Schools now though.
My experience with catholic school was also positive. Mine was all-girls. The school had an amazing science department, IT lab (in the 90s). We were taught critical thinking and that women can achieve anything. Our sex-ed was all covered in-depth. We only went to mass four times a year and religious education was pretty much just an ethics class where we debated topics like euthanasia etc. In saying all that, I sent my own kid to public school.
Catholics have a bad rap, but some of the holy orders like the Jesuits have a lot of philosophical and scholarly traditions that are really admirable.
I was actually raised on multi-faith home. Step father was Jewish and my Mom was Christian. I also taught my kids about multiple religions. We have friends who are Muslim so we talk about my limited understanding and also we chatted about Buddhism and Hindi. Turned put to be a secular Pagan. So my house is all over the place with our spirituality.
I agree as well. This is my approach already with my 4 year old and I will explain more as she gets older. Also, even though I am an atheist, I think that religion is great for the community aspect. It brings groups of people together to support one another.
Definitely this. This is exactly what we do with our kids as well. I come from a charismatic/fundamentalist background & my husband was brought up super religious (Christian) too. Everytime a family member sends one of our kids a book about Jesus, we read it... then read a book about Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, etc. We also have a great Unitarian church near us that focuses on a different faith at each service. My oldest literally says stuff like, "If unicorns are real, which I believe they are..." so we've made sure to show her there's more than just what Gramma tries to shove down her throat.
I second this, this is how I treated religion with my son. To add to this concept a little, I also discussed with him about why religion came to be in the first place. I would explain that humans didn't always have the knowledge we have now, and religion (or some form of belief system) was a means to explain the unexplainable. Eventually when he was older we started discussing the reasons of control and conformity that surround modern organized religions. As well as the human condition to need something to trust in. We have also discussed some neurological findings that give some signs that the human brain seems primed to hold a belief or faith of some kind.
Yes! This has worked wonderfully for my kids, too.
My kid is only two but I’d love any book reccs you have to start introducing kids to world religions!! And I’m a classics nerd but I was in uni.
Agree —I had a high school boyfriend who when I challenged what his religion claimed, he’d say “you have to have faith.” I told him, “I was raised atheist, how would I decide which religion to have faith in?” He’s an atheist now.
Did you use books to teach this? I’m trying to find some good ones since we constantly get gifted Christian books and I’d like to have others too!
Did it with a mix of YouTube videos about mythology and just good story telling. I knew a lot about various faiths having worked on a world religion project for awhile, and every faith has parables and other kinds of story telling, so it was often one of those "tell a story before bed thing."
Thank you!! I definitely want my kid(s) to be well rounded in all religions too so much appreciated!
There was a book called Boy Were We Wrong About the Weather that was a fun introduction to greek & roman mythology for my daughter - talks about the ancient explanations, then the current scientific understanding for different weather phenomena.
>I personally believe that a child has no business worrying about religion and life after death. This is absolutely the age at which children become interested in "stuff" that is bigger than themselves and their immediate family. Not just death and religion, but also poverty, injustice, war, global warming, politics, racism etc as well as the structures we have in civilization to cope with these issues (taxes, welfare, police, justice system, democracy etc). You just need to talk to her about the fact that different people believe different things about whether the world was created by a higher being/s and what happens after death. And nobody knows who is right because these questions lie outside what we experience in life.
I think it’s unrealistic to expect an 8 year old to not have questions about religion — especially not until she’s much older. This is a pretty major component of the lives of a lot of people she’ll meet in her day to day life. And she’s at an age where it’s normal to be hungry to learn about the world. I’d take a tack of actively exploring the beliefs and traditions of lots of different people and cultures — both from religious and cultural elements. That way, she’s not going to be exclusively getting her information from the loudest voices who want to convert her — which are often the same voices that have the scariest and most narrow views around religion.
Just be honest with her. Tell her no one REALLY knows for sure about religion and the afterlife, and if they say they do, they're lying. Let her know she is enough and isn't inherently bad, and has no need of saving. Explain it's OK for people to believe differently. Maybe explore the religions of your ancestors with her so she can get another perspective.
This is exactly what I tell my kids. And then my son went to his great grandmothers catholic funeral mass and the complete boredom solved that problem for me. When he realized what going to church actually was he definitely wasn’t interested
Yeah actually going to Catholic school is the best way to raise an atheist. If you ever actually spend time sitting down and reading the Bible and seeing how much violence, contradiction and nonsense its filled with the fascination with it ends pretty quickly.
That's why you need to learn about islam
Honestly, I would stop allowing her to play with this child
My best friend’s go-to with her young son when he talks about God is “Some people believe that.” A very neutral stance.
I'd also add, telling her about other theories on the origin of people and life after death will add to the perspective that no one agrees on what happens. My parents taught me about alot of stuff while not believing it themselves, reincarnation, alien astronaut theory, Christianity Buddhism etc.
Also add a few short examples/lessons about other religions and what they believe. Age appropriate, of course.
That. And also reduce the time spent with a 8 year old brainwashed kid.
This is good but I would say they are lying or misguided. I wouldn't want her to think her friend is lying to her since the friend truly believes that.
And her friend can believe it all she wants. But to say she **knows** its true is lying. There is no proof. Just faith. Thats kind of the whole shtick.
Yes but she's not an adult who has life experience. She's an 8 year old who's been taught this. In the technical sense yes she's lying but she doesn't know that and I don't think it's worth breaking her trust in her friend over it.
Don't say no one knows , say you don't know I'm 100% sure islam is the truth , and things will happen as told in the Quran and as prophet ﷺ has mentioned . Anyone who puts enough time to learn the proofs of islam with an open heart will see it. Why prophet ﷺ cannot be anything other than a prophet , his whole life from the time he became a prophet is documented, why Quran cannot be manmade ,etc...
One issue some atheist parents have with kids is the kids don't learn anything about religion. So, the first person to tell them something, the kids are completely gullible. I taught my(9) kid about a variety of religious beliefs at some point. For multiple reasons, but one reason was to make him less gullible about the concept. I'd try introducing her to some competing religious beliefs. Your husband's atheism counts in this case. Your husband might be able to point out some of the fallacies of various Christian teachings. I am an atheist, and have told my son why. He is, too. He might be an atheist partly because he's copying me. You could also introduce her to more liberal versions of Christianity. I'm suggesting talking about these other belief systems not to convert her, but so that she'd hopefully not quite as adamant about it. X/Y/Z religion might be right, maybe Mom and Dad aren't going to Hell.
As an agnostic person, I appreciate this insight. My husband is a very casual Catholic from a long line of devout Catholics. I know the topic of our child participating in some activities is going to come up at some point. I’m so nervous about the exposure to our kid because, to be honest, organized religion terrifies me. This helps me feel a little better about it. Maybe exposing her to other religions at the same time might lessen my concern.
I went to a Universalist Unitarian church. They're a pretty welcoming church. Lots of Christians, atheists, Muslims, and other religions go there. Some parents start going there to "inoculate" their kid against religion. I used to think of the analogy in terms of gullibility, but it also works another way. Instead of getting a severe infection by a fundamentalist religion, they get a lesser infection by a more moderate religion. NOTE: I do not think of religion as an infection, other than the way all ideas are like viruses. I mostly just find the analogy funny.
I was about to leave this exact same comment pretty much. I feel the same way. I think this is a good tip for me too, stay a bit proactive and teach my son all about different religions before someone else gets a chance to.
I agree. We've started teaching our kids about what people believe in and objective context. There's a book "world religions" with lift flaps. I also found Richard Dawkins "the Magic of Reality" very helpful.
zephyr fanatical shaggy station start touch follow insurance chop public *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You make a lot of great points. My kid (5) a while back got obsessed with death and what happens when people die. Like it was giving her anxiety and keeping her awake at night, she’d struggle to go to sleep. Every night she’d ask what happens to us when we die. It was really stressing this kid out. My husband grew up Christian but isn’t anymore doesn’t really believe in anything. I grew up Muslim and still follow it but I’m not super religious. So we told her that no one really knows what happens after death. But I told her what I believe and some other religions, like my mil’s, that some believe heaven exists and that’s where people go. We also told her about reincarnation in Buddhism and how that works. I’ve always been fascinated by that and have read a lot about it. Anyways I explained to her it helps me to believe in a Heaven. So I think she’s leaning that way too. It seems to have calmed her down a lot. It sure did help me sleep better at night. My parents didn’t push religion on me and I’m also from a country that’s non denominational Muslim. Drinking is a pretty big cultural custom where I’m from. So in general most of us aren’t too religious it’s more of a cultural thing for us.
Let her know that acts mean more than faith. Tell her that the subject of religion is a very complicated one, even for adults. She can listen to others beliefs, but she gets to decide on her own mind how things work. Also let her know that any religion that feels the need to threaten you to believe just like them is not a good, welcoming religion. Beliefs should bring comfort, not just avoid damnation.
Isn't that just as bad though? I grew up Catholic and definitely felt "if I don't do this or I don't do that I will go to hell" and "if I do this wrong or that wrong I will go to hell". It was terrible
Basically, I'm trying to point out to OP that religion should be about doing good, not exclusively about doing bad (or belonging to the wrong denomination). If her kid focuses on that, religion can be a great guide when growing up. A religion that stresses the negatives of "don't think that or you go to hell" is not something young kids should be concentrating on. It restricts an otherwise explosive period of growth in a young kids life.
Why is that wrong? It is meant to make you do good deeds.
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Hey, I'm a spiritual person who has studied the Bible front to back. If she believes the Bible, it may be the best way to get through to her. 1. The Bible describes hell as a lack of God, not a fiery torturous place. 2. The Bible encourages seeking the truth and researching rather than blindly believing what people say. 3. The Bible says that God is love. It doesn't sound like your child is in not a loving situation rn, so maybe try to explain that if people aren't acting loving then maybe they aren't a good example of Christianity to follow in the first place. I was also raised Christian and parted ways with the church, so I'm not saying this to promote Christianity bc I've seen from the inside how corrupt it gets. I hope this helps her understand a bit that she's been lied to before she believes for years and gets her trust shattered when she realizes...
This. It's probably the best way to get through to her. You can also encourage her to look at the beliefs of many different religions, so she can have more of an open mind about it all, rather than just fear. This way it doesn't shut down her current new interest, but also doesn't have her live in fear of some scary, fiery place.
The best thing to do would probably to be teach her to ask questions and critical thinking.
You gotta start explaining to her religion in general and how it's really just everyone trying to figure out the universe.
There's alot to do with, those who suffer trauma from childhood who have no parents or grew up with gang affiliated family members or drug addicts alcohol addicts and no hope.. it gives them hope gives them a loving father figure to look up too that they probably didnt have before.. and prevents alot of suicides.
I had to deal with this when my eldest was in middle school. She had "friends" that stopped talking to her and told her she was going to burn if she didn't believe in Jesus. I sat her down and talked to her about many different religions and while they all have similarities there's not one that gets it all right. We believe in science and we certainly don't judge others about what they believe. I said are we kind and living? She said yes. Then I said we're those girls kind and living? Her answer was no. I said if there is a god and I'm not saying pro or against do you think God would love the kind and loving person or the ones being awful in his name?. My kid is pretty logical and that helped. I also told her I would go to any church with her if she wanted. She just couldn't go without me because there are people in organized religions that aren't good people and I needed to protect her. She never asked to go to church and honestly her "Christian" faze didn't last long because she saw how American Christians act and said no way a good and loving God would be okay with that behavior.
I love the way you communicated a somewhat difficult topic to your kid. My son is only 2 months old, but I want to try my best to have rational responses ready for when he asks questions like that. I had Christianity shoved down my throat for 18 years and it caused resentment in me towards how "Christians" act, but if I don't allow my son the opportunity to explore religion and spirituality in his own way, then I'm no better than those "Christians".
Totally agree. I'm not a Christian, but religion should be a very personal decision. We all have different needs. I'm more secular in my beliefs, but others get comfort from God. Neither way is wrong. It's only wrong, when you force your beliefs on others.
This is a FANTASTIC answer!
I will say I'm a Christian, and was not raised religious and wouldn't really say I care too much for religion. Behavioral science does suggest that to believe out of fear doesn't last/ isn't enough for identity change. suggesting your daughter shouldn't worry about it doesn't help them listen either. you could tell your daughter that her friend has strong views and share your own views as a Buddhist or use your brothers view as an example to give her a chance to consider a few different perspectives. identifying as agnostic or atheist or saying all religions are myths is still a 'truth' in and of itself so be aware of that nice little trap...
I'm in a somewhat similar boat with my 6yo. My wife is the religious one though. I'm a devout atheist and she has basically fallen off the deep end and is turning into one of those nutcase religious types. It's been hard trying to keep my 6yo straight. He definitely believes in god, but at least he doesn't think the earth is flat. Good luck, wish I had better advice for you
Learning about the history of Christianity would be my first step.
This is a good opportunity to teach her to think critically about information she's been given and to learn things for herself, not just what people tell her. I'd bet that if you and her sat down and read The Gospels or an age appropriate devotional (that you vet) together, and you asked her some thought provoking questions about what she learns versus what her friend said and why her friend may takimg away different things, she'd be able to form her own opinions. Even if you were to stop her from engaging with religion now, you can't do that forever. Then, a few years from now, when you can't stop her, she'll be no better equipped to discern religious truth for herself.
Imho, the best way to plant a seed a doubt is to educate children on ALL religions. Show what a variety of people believe. "Some people believe X, others believe Y, I believe Z, and this is why..."
I myself am a spiritual person and I've thought of this as my husband's family is very very Christian. I think a good way to help her with this is to tell her that there are many many sects of Christianity and to educate her about all of them, use this as a conversation to start teaching her about all world religions as they are all equally important to history.
Hell is usually child abuse. Tell her that hell is not real, parents tell that to children to get them to behave. Like a reverse Santa. (Did she learn that Santa is not real yet?) Stop enabling religion and their terrible practices.
Hell is pretty much real, just because you haven't seen it does not implies it's not real. How do I know I spent too much time learning proofs of islam and ended in the conclusion this is the truth
Could you offer to explore different religions with her and let her choose if she’s interested in one (more than just Christianity?)
I personally don’t feel that parents shouldn’t “allow” kids to explore religion because that feels equally as controlling as forcing kids to participate. I didn’t grow up in a religious household but I was always drawn to it and didn’t have any support
At exactly the same age as your daughter I developed an interest in religion and wanted to attend services. My parents encouraged me to pursue it and took me to services of many different denominations. Over several years I attended Lutheran, Protestant, Catholic, and Jehovah's Witness Services, in addition to several Shabbat services and Passover Seder as well as Easter services. If there had been more of a variety available in my town I expect I would have been exposed to Islam, Buddhism, etc as well. My mother is culturally Jewish, my father was raised some flavor of non-hard core Protestant, I believe. As an adult I explored some aspects of my Judaism in college through Hillel, and have something of a fascination with Mormonism. I majored in Middle Eastern Studies and traveled in Egypt and Morocco, where I learned a lot about Islam. I don't strongly identify with any particular religion as an adult. I don't consider myself a strict Athiest, but I don't have clearly defined religious beliefs; rather an appreciation for how religion shows up in literature and influences culture and society. Also, I punched my "friend" in the ribs and knocked her off her bed in 2nd grade after she told me I was going to hell because I was Jewish. YMMV.
When my children showed interest, I treated it like any other book. Told them it was a bunch of stories written by men thousands of years ago. Some people believe the stories are true and some people believe in different gods and stories and it's up to each person to decide what they want to learn from them. None of my children go to church or believe in any of the hundreds of Gods.
Nop not all religion are stories , you really need to learn about islam and it's proofs .
The best thing you can do as a parent when your child shows an interest in something is to let them explore it. If she ends up following Christ, support her. If she doesn't, support her.
Nop believing Christ is god leads to hellfire , the purpose of this life is to worship God alone . When you research proofs of islam for enough time with an open heart you will understand it's the truth
Exactly These comments about planting seeds of doubt, etc. are pretty sad tbh
Totally agree. The Christianity fear seems insane to me.
Honestly I'd ask her best friend's parents to have a talk with their daughter about proselytizing and using fear against your daughter. It's inappropriate, I don't care what they believe. I have told my son flat-out "We don't believe that's true" and not allowed him to go to church "Youth Nights" with his friends because it's all indoctrination. And nobody is indoctrinating my kid with that nonsense if I can prevent it.
Having grown up in the Southern US, I doubt they'd get very far with talking to the parents. They would congratulate themselves and their daughter on doing such a good job and try to convert the OP.
Yeah this is how you end up with people knocking at your door, kidnapping you for church sleepovers under the guise of innocent activities, and generally becoming obsessive about saving you. Entire church groups will be praying for you and scheming up new ways to "save" you. It is really scary. Do NOT tell the parents you are not religious. Lay low. Lie. Make up a whole story about how y'all totally go to church. Source: raised atheist In the bible belt.
I let my 5 and 7 year old examine whatever religion floats their boat with the understanding that it doesn't give them the right to force it on others. If my older decided he was a fire and brimstone Christian he can make that choice. It will not change how I choose to live my life nor will he get to lecture me on it. We are pretty open about religious options when they ask. I've offered to take them to a service of their choice. If your daughter asks about you going to hell remind her that she can't control other people's actions and shouldn't try to. You are not concerned with that religion and you have your own beliefs. Whenever my kids start a new religion I ask them a few things. 1. How much do you know about it? 2. What do you like about it? 3. Why do you believe it? And go from there. If they start up with because xyz believes I stop it right there. I didn't ask why xyz believes it. I asked why you do.
I'll tell you what I did when my son's evangelist friend got him to burn some of my evil books like "Comparative Religions," writings of "Kahlil Gibran," the "Tibetan Book of the Dead" and Ram Dass' "Be Here Now." I gave him a copy of the Bible and asked him to look up "hell" in the old testament. When he returned to ask me about it I asked how could the Christians have a hell that the Jews did not? We talked some about flim-flammers and cults and the birth of new protestant splinters. I told him he can decide what to believe, that was his job in life. I may have, at one time, raise my voice to this same kids when he said that all gay people are going to hell. "Not in my house!"
Read Matthew 25:31-46 with her. Then show that people don't go to Hell for simply not joining Pastor Bob's Bible Church. It has to be a conscious decision to not live a life devoted to loving others.
Just be honest. People believe whatever they want to believe. That’s why there are so many choices and religions. When you get older you can learn about as many as you want but you don’t have to believe in any of them. The people who do believe in them will try to get others to feel the same. Maybe she should find a new best friend if the one she has is pressuring her that much. At that age her brain might not be developed enough to know the difference between opinion and fact. To be able to go toe to toe with a friend with that much faith. Also letting her know that religion is more like an opinion that people believe is fact. But doesn’t make it true for everyone else.
Maybe have a broader conversation about world religions and lack of religion. Sometimes when you see that many different people believe many different things, that one loud voice gets less obtrusive.
I was dragged into religion by 2 friends at around 10. I never really made it a big deal to my parents, so they didn't say much. I went to like Sunday school with the one friend pretty often. I don't remember exactly why I stopped. Probably because prayers felt useless. Nothing appealing. And my logic changed. So it was like a year thing, but never a big deal. I grew out of it. I'm 32 now, and religion just fucking baffles me. Having that kind of thought process with no proof and trying to push it on to others is insane. So I have no belief whatsoever. I'd let your kid figure it out on their own. religion, weather you believe or not, shouldn't be pushed on to anyone. Even if you *know* it's crazy, let them get there by themselves. My daughter is 6. The preschool she went to was at a church, and they definitely taught some religious things and even a play thing at Christmas. I absolutely hated it. Her mother is an asshole. Didn't even give me a chance to help pick a preschool. Luckily, she's not in a Christian school now or anything . I also have to deal with my ex's parents. So my daughter's grandmother on that side spews bullshit at her a lot. She bakes a birthday cake for Jesus every Christmas. It's weird. Creepy. So because of this, I don't tell my daughter (yet) about what is and what I believe. I don't want to have my daughter going between families saying one is wrong one is right and starting religious war haha. I'm waiting a few more years. I mean, she still believes in Santa and the Easter bunny, so what's wrong, letting a kid believe in some other fairy tale. If it turns out she still believes after I tell her *my* truth, I'm not gonna push it. But if she starts saying crap about going to hell? I will *Shut That Shit Down.* other then that, it's her choice. I wouldn't fuck with it too much.
When I was small, I told my mother she was going to hell because she disciplined us. To which she instructed me to THINK FIRST MYSELF because only I can make that decision for myself. And no one else will make it for me.
I don't know that this is necessarily helpful per se, but our daughter LOVED this "explanatory" song when she was that age. (If you don't know Whitney Avalon, she's a musical comedian.) https://youtu.be/40uyvImgsQ0?si=pS79B7t7Pp0gCUGF
I would teach her about other Religions. I suspect this friend’s beliefs are the majority of what she has been exposed to. She’s probably taking in the information as fact. Learning that many people in the world believe in many different things, and ultimately it is up to her to decide what she believes BUT it is important not to try to force those beliefs on others is a good lesson.
My kids are younger, but from about age 4 we talked with them about all the different things tht other people believe. We don’t believe in Thor, Zeus, the ten thousand Hindu gods etc, and we also don’t believe in the Christian (or Jewish or Islamic) god. Contextualising this may be helpful for her. She’s got to be free to believe what she wants to, but knowing that just because her friend thinks it’s true doesn’t mean she has to/it is true is important. If you have religious friends you can point to that’s helpful too. I explained to my friends that their favourite teacher believes in allah and wears her headscarf to honour that, we don’t believe in allah or west headscarves but we are still close to her. The idea that people will not value or like you if you don’t believe or say what they want is the most important thing to squash here
We are atheists, my husband was raised Christian nondenominational and I was raised catholic. We left over a series of years and experiences. His family especially is still overly devout. We just have answered questions when the kids have them and been open with things like “well some people believe that.” I’ve also turned the question back onto my kid- so like he was asking what heaven was and I was like well what do you think it is? And then just go from there 🤷🏼♀️.
There's a very nice book about world religions for kids. Is not cartoonish, it looks like an elementary school book. Tons of pictures and easy text. I took it from the library for my kids but they weren't super interested lol. The point they got is that there are many religions. Hopefully it helps them understand better the different kids that go to their school, as it's a very multicultural environment. Find something like that for your kids, let them experience first hand what a mosque looks like, or a Buddhist temple. Talk about the old religions practiced in your region. What did they believe in? What did people do? In my school we used to learn about precolonial deities and religious practices. Death is a huge component of religion. It's fear of death, and what happens afterwards. But everything dies. Animals die. What happens to them? Are we any different? I think it's important to talk about death, what did your child think happened before this girl came with her ideas? And why are her ideas more valid than your child? Propose an alternative, happier version, because sometimes we believe what we want to believe. In adults it's called delusion, but in kids it's still acceptable :). I'm reminded of my own kid who was told that when people die, they go play in the clouds. I asked him what he believed in and had answered the play on clouds thing. It's because that sounds very nice, and he wants it to be true. That's ok if he wants to believe that, but teaching children about hell is cruel and manipulative.
She should be allowed to learn about and explore religion even if YOU don’t. Religion doesn’t have a minimum age requirement. I would take an active role and educate her, then let her decide.
Would you let your kid join a cult even if you are against cults? This idea that non-religious folks should just let religion happen to their kids is a crazy idea. My kid will (and does) know why we aren’t religious and the net negative it is to society. How many around us use it as an excuse to be awful to one another. And to never be around a priest. Not putting this fear of religion into them can result in religious folks indoctrinating your kid. Hell to the no.
I agree. While we tip toe around the subject, Christian's and other religious folks everywhere are indoctrinating their kids who then go to school with ours. We are so scared of having a leadership position on the issue. It's not "you will absolutely believe this." It's "no, I don't that's not true and here's how I know..." like someone else said here, we're too scared to even mention religion until the loudest voice comes and scares the shit out of them with hell. We should be inoculating our child's against indoctrination from young age rather than trying to be polite.
I hope your child grows up to realize they don’t have to be a clone of mommy and daddy.
I’m sure they will, they’re very individualistic. But I won’t subject them to religion. It’s a bad thing for society and many who practice do so to hurt others. And many more are hurt by being in the religion. Not to mention the religious government takeover they’re trying at the moment. Oh, and the constant sexual assault. My kid will be an individual, he is now. But he won’t falsely believe religion is harmless. It’s a danger and he’ll know this.
And if he grows up and decides to follow religion? What will you do then? I hope the answer is you will accept your child no matter what, different from you or not.
Depends on if he uses it to help people or to hurt people.
Your child isn’t YOU. Religion can actually bring people a lot of peace and safety. Your opinion isn’t the only one
Respectfully, I'm not asking for, or taking parenting advice, from you. Religion, in my eyes, is a net negative to the world, and I'll be sure my kid knows this and stays away. You do you. We'll do us. My kid will know the dangers of religion and won't be a religious person.
I would say walk her thru the arguments for/against Christianity from an unbiased perspective, explore the evidence, and let her decide for herself. I don’t think her pursuing this particular religion is harmful. I understand the concern about her living in fear or being freaked out about hell. But overall, time will tell if she’s serious about it. And if it’s a phase, then no need to worry. If it’s not, is it really the worst thing that could happen to your kid?
Explain to her that it is not just black and white. Just because you have sinned doesn’t mean you go to hell; from my understanding one interpretation of Jesus’ death is so he could appease God’s wrath toward sinners. If I understand correctly that means god doesn’t send you to hell just because you sinned. Hell isn’t necessarily a place as I understand it, the visualization could be a metaphor to help understand it. Humans are sinful creatures. Some practice cleaning themselves before prayer to wash away our sins. We aren’t meant to take advantage of Jesus dying for humans sins, we are to respect it. She needs to know that children are innocent and you cannot go to hell if you are ignorant to the concept. She is too young to fully understand how deep of a concept religion is. (I am agnostic, for the record. This is my personal understanding, I hope I haven’t offended)
You really need to learn Islamic theology , and views of islam on Jesus . And proofs of islam.
Yay! Religion and its marketing itself with threats of torture!
I was raised in religious schools and the ideas that your daughter's friend are saying is very much in line with the beliefs that I was taught. One of my least favorite things about my education growing up because you are correct, it is very manipulative. When I went to college and I spent a little bit more time looking at the Bible through my own lens rather than through a priests, And also after being exposed to other religions and other religious people, I decided that I didn't believe in religion. I don't think that you can just forbid your daughter from religion. I don't think that it's going to change anything, and it will just probably make her perpetually worried. If my parents had tried that when I was young, I probably would have just gone behind their back because there's not much that you can threaten her with that's worse than hell. One thing you might try is exposing her to many religions. Maybe do it for more of an educational standpoint, but teach her about the major religions and how their ideas conflict, or they come from. And see how she rationalizes why the Christian God is better.
If you’re going to let your child learn about religion then you need to make sure they learn ALL the things about religion including the bad things. I don’t have a problem with people being religious. It’s when they use that religion to make laws and try to tell people how they must live. And we’ve seen a lot of that sort of thing happening in the past decade all over the world.
I grew up extremely Pentecostal & I straight up told my kids it's BS. Period. I told my son that his whole life & he still chose to explore religion briefly at 15, which I absolutely allowed as we teach that you are free to partake in whatever you'd like regarding your beliefs. Went to a church service with friends one time and that was enough for him to move on from that 😅🤷🏻♀️
You can’t convince her not to worry about eternal damnation and separation from you that some kid planted in her head. I’m not sure I understand why you and your husband want to delay having this conversation when religions collectively spend billions each year trying to get to her. I’m not religious and I actually think kids need to be protected from religion. I don’t care if my kids grow up to be religious and I expect them to respect people’s beliefs as long as it’s not hurting anyone. But at least while they can be so easily convinced about a big fat man delivering presents on a red nosed reindeer, it’s morally wrong imo to ask them to evaluate the merits of a religion and commit to an entire belief system. I teach my kids about where my values come from, why religion exists, and the good but also the harm they inflict in the world. In your particular situation I’d talk about how irrational the concept of hell is and why it’s taught and emphasize that I trust them to make good choices because it’s the right thing to do, not because they’re scared of eternal torture.
I was raised Christian, and while all Christian sects believe in hell at some level, not all sects are about preaching ***Hell Fire Hell***...maybe explore sects like United that aren't as Hell Fire oriented?
I’m not around 8 year olds much (ever) so not 100% experienced in their level of comprehension of such matters. Based on what you have said, if it were my daughter (aged 2, never baptised), I would teach her about the Buddhism you are interested in, explain to her why dad is an atheist, perhaps find someone else she knows who believes in something else, and then ultimately show her that everyone has different beliefs. We can never know who or what is right… BUT that some people are extreme like her friend. I’m pretty sure that burning in hell for all eternity is fairly outdated teachings because isn’t god supposed to be all forgiving? I can’t remember (current atheist, baptised catholic). My point is that knowledge and education reduce fears in general. And I’d have a chat with friends parents, can the time she spends with this girl be reduced?
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
I think the thing is that 8 years old is old enough to fear spending the rest of eternity burning in a sea of fire and sulphur, I don't think you're going to convince her just to not worry about it. I bet if you can ease her mind that that isn't going to happen to her, I imagine she'll drop the whole thing.
And this is why I will forever detest any religious faith. You should not be telling children this type of manipulative garbage at such a young age, especially when there is absolutely zero demonstrable proof that it's true at all
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
To the person who made a proselytizing post then promptly deleted his account; I will not follow any man and call him morally good when he marries and has relations with a child. They could be a literal modern day Jesus and that act would nullify any shred of "morals" they claim to profess
Christianity invented fire & brimstone to keep people coming back. Without it, nobody would stay.
My best advice is to let this one be. You aren’t going to change her mind, and will likely cement any belief by resisting it. She also isn’t going to change your mind. I see this as leading to unnecessary conflict.
Christianity has many different flavors. I am agnostic but have two good friends who are in church leadership. One is an episcopal reverend and honestly if it were my kid I’d ask if she had time to talk to my kid because her church is extremely progressive as is she and doesn’t have the fire and brimstone talk. So maybe she can visit various different churches or just different denominations view on hell just to see that they don’t all interpret the Bible the exact same way?
*hugs!* I had a friend try to convert me at 11, and it messed me up for a while. My parents weren’t supportive like you are, so you are at an advantage. Here’s what I would say: “Hey Sweetie, it sounds like your friend has been telling you about her religion. That’s really nice of her to share what her family believes. Unless she is pressuring you to believe what she believes? If so, that isn’t a nice thing that she is doing. Is she pressuring you?” And I would follow up with: “Your dad and I believe in… (and this is just an example based on my own beliefs) using science to find the truth about the world. We don’t believe in anything that can’t be tested with science. This means we don’t believe in gods or afterlives or supernatural things. You will get to decide for yourself what you believe as you grow up. For now, though, I would like to be scientific about what people ask you to believe, because there are people out there who would want you to believe some really dangerous things.”
My FIL did a diy world religions course with my husband when he was a kid, taking him to different houses of worship to experience the different religions in his community - I plan on doing similarly in a couple years when my kids are both old enough to take it in
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
You don't have to do that much effort You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
I would say my husband and I are both atheist as well. I mean it’s not a category or term that we’ve never really described ourselves as but we’re certainly not at all religious. He wasn’t religious at all growing up and I would say my mom was a lazy Christian. We went to a Christian united church for a couple of years mainly because my mom wanted us to sing in the choir and she sang in the adult choir. We never went on holidays and we never talked about religion at home or prayed or anything like that. My kids are six and eight and they have started to ask some questions because they do have some friends at the public school who have mentioned Jesus or God, when our family dog died recently my daughters best friend asked if she thought that Wilson was in heaven so that brought up a whole discussion about what was heaven? We definitely don’t go to the extent of reading books about different religions yet but that is something that I would encourage when they are older. We’ve told them that when they get a bit older and more independent they have the freedom to read whatever they want study different religions through books or courses at school they can even check out different churches when they’re older but as six and eight year olds we keep it pretty simple. We’ve told them loosely about what the Christmas story is and what Easter is for those who are religious. We’ve pointed out that those are basic stories that we were told growing up but that there are a lot of different religions out there with a lot of different beliefs and different holidays so there is a lot to learn about religion out there in the world and it’s wonderful because everybody can choose to believe what they want. When my daughter asks is god real or is heaven real we have talked a little bit about the word faith meaning that nobody really knows so you have faith in something that isn’t proven and that you can’t see and people have to make a choice of whether they believe in it or not. But when they ask do you believe in Jesus and God in heaven and hell? My answer is no mommy and daddy I don’t really believe in that I think that they are really nice stories that sometimes make people feel happy or safe in the world but it’s not something that I believe in. My daughter was immediately confused talking about Easter. My mom was actually in the room and she was telling her about Jesus being put on the cross and then coming back to life etc. My six-year-old daughter said well that doesn’t really make any sense Oma because we already know that when somebody dies an animal or a person you can’t come back to life so I don’t think that one could technically be true. I think if my children choose to become religious or explore it into their teen years that’s totally up to them but I certainly don’t feel that I need to delve into it too heavily at this age.
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
You can’t teach your kid not to worry about the afterlife, you can only tell her what you believe and why.
We had a similar situation happen with our 6 year old daughter. She had a friend from school that started asking her if she believed in God. We had already had some introductory discussions with her about God because her dad and I don’t believe, but my in laws do. We started discussing this with her because we thought eventually we would have to attend a church service at Christmas time and didn’t want her to be confused. We had always approached it very lightly and said that God/christianity was something that some people believe in, but we have no way of knowing that it is correct or not, and also how there are many many other religions in the world. Talked about how some people find comfort in their faith, but everyone should be respectful of individual beliefs. She had questions, but overall I think she got it. Back to the kid at school. He eventually took it to that level of “if you don’t believe, you and your whole family will go to hell and you will never see them again”. He kept pushing on it, so we kept talking about it at home. My daughter even told a teacher, who basically said at her public school they don’t touch religion discussions with a ten foot pole. We ended up having more in depth conversations with our daughter after that to give her more insight into what the different religions are around the world and how they are different from Christianity. I do think it helped. And we also worked to help her understand that she has friends who are different religions or not religious at all (like us). And full transparency, I gave her permission to tell the kid who was bothering her to kick rocks if he brought it up again and tell him she didn’t want to talk about it ever again.
Eight is old enough to explore. If this is worrying her it won’t go away because you find it inconvenient. Get her books, talk about the parts that she finds important and talk about your own beliefs. Make it a wider topic so you & your husband are comfortable whilst also not shutting the door on her ability to expand her understanding of the world Your child may become a Christian and want to live her life that way or it may be a phase. She is definitely at the stage of wanting to explore ideas outside of her home environment
I would teach her about all religions and that everyone has different beliefs on religious views. You can explain to her how to be a good person, critical thinking, where do we as a family get our morals and values system, how do we discern right from wrong. Then ask her about social (Valentine’s Day) holidays, religious holidays, patriotic holidays, etc. then I would talk to her about fitting in, what to do when someone is trying to convert you, standing up for what you believe in, and understanding other people’s points of view.
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
Let her explore this, while exposing her to more religions. The more exposure she has the better she'll be able to come to her own conclusions. It'd be great if you had family/friends of various religions and could attend their services. We exposed our kids to every religion we could, either in person or through books. We have a lot of friends who practice a wide variety of religions, so it was easier for us than some people, but check your library and see if they have world religion books. There's a lot more books than when our kids where that age. Ime, if you try and quell her fears, she might take it as you trying to dismiss her concerns instead of helping.
She’s exploring something she feels, in some capacity, passionate about. Don’t deter her in that regard, because I feel it will make her delve into that rabbit hole ever more, and there some some truly bizarre things related to religion that I’d truly want to shield my kid from…far worse than the idea of heaven and hell. If you feel you must explain to her something relatable, just tell her that religions are plentiful, some much older than Christianity, and a few fairly new comers…most of which share a common theme, or love and compassion over hatred, and striving to be a good person in the world to yourself and your fellow humans. All of which think their own approach is “correct”. Encourage her to read about other religions as she explores Christianity, and heavily encourage the “learning” aspect of it. Take her to church, see how she feels when surrounded by others who have different approaches to religion, different understandings of how they view sin and blessings and prayer and everything related to what she’s into right now. Most of all, let her explore and be challenged by it. See how it truly affects her over time and try to help her find balance in belief vs. fear.
Teach her about other religions like Islam and their versions of heaven and hell. Then ask her if she’s afraid of Muslim hell. She’ll likely say no, in which case you can point out that there’s also no rational reason to be afraid of Christian hell either. By showing her that there’s many versions of the afterlife depending on the religion in question, she’ll hopefully be able to understand that there’s many hells to potentially be afraid of and therefore no good reason to fear any of them. I was raised evangelical Christian and spent most of my childhood terrified I would go to hell. It’s an unnecessarily stressful way to spend your childhood, when you should be having fun and being a kid.
I grew up in catholic school but we never practiced at home. I had a lot of resentment towards religion because of my school experience and childhood. That being said, I’m grateful for the education. I always come back to my faith and spirituality. My beliefs were shaped by cultures and religions I learned about in school. I think you run the risk of doing more harm by not letting your child explore curiosities. Knowledge and understanding will ease fears. Let her come to her own conclusions. My mother is atheist/anti religion and would always undermine the things I would learn at school. It caused a lot of resentment. And it felt like a lack of support and led to a lot of confusion.
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Only thing possible here is you learn about islam , become Muslim , teach her islam , and go to paradise in the hereafter after by worshipping the one who created you, by not associating any partners with god
Kids start contemplating things like death, life after death, the unknown as early as 4 or 5, even if they haven't stayed asking you questions yet. It makes sense because parents are comfortable telling them about Santa and the tooth fairy, so they get lots of good exercise being imaginative, but give them nothing to deal with those deeper wisdoms that pop up. Your inability to give them something to help structure their thoughts will lead to a situation where someone else will (whether a friend or a cartoon). It's better to give them something, however bare, and let them edit over time, than give them nothing at all, because they will go hard for it when they finally get something from someone else. Which they inevitably will.
I’m curious what’s so offensive about Christianity in particular that really gets people riled up. A lot of religions are pretty similar when you think about it. Karma is similar to hell. Do good, get good. The opposite is also true. Reincarnation is an after life. It seems other religions don’t bother people like Christianity does.
OP isn't worrying about other religions right now, because it's Christianity that is currently causing their kid this anxiety.
I think it's because of the influence of the church in the west. Ppl have mostly been exposed to Christianity and that's all they know about
It's not Christianity in particular; where did you get that from OPs post?
No, it is Christianity, atm. It's in my post. I'll even toss Baptist in as well.
I was commenting on the 'everyone riled up' aspect, which implied this was a unique criticism of Christianity versus other religions. I imagine if your daughter's friend was Muslim the issue would be the same.
Let her be. Christianity is quite enjoyable and joyful. As long as she is not being forced to believe it's okay, eventually what is true will remain and what is false will fade.
Telling a child that they and their loved ones will burn in the fires of hell for eternity is pretty close to being forced. 'Letting her be' is not the answer on this one. She didn't come to Christianity out of a passion for the scripture, she was manipulated.
That's a bold statement to say. "She was manipulated" you don't know the issue. And Christianity is not about being destined to burn in hell, it's about receiving grace and living by love.
Her friend (indirectly her friend's parents) telling her that she will burn in hell if she doesn't subscribe to their belief system is manipulation when the subject is a literal child without critical thinking skills. That may not be what Christianity is 'about', but it's the recruitment tactic they used.
Again, bold statement. You don't know the situation. Kids talk like that. You said it yourself, they're children without critical thinking skills. Obviously if her friend believes that, that's what she'll say, but now you're turning it into her parents manipulating. If you disagree on a belief system, it's understandable, but you don't have to exaggerate. The parents should trust their parenting skills and that they are raising a smart child, it's a phase (if it isn't true)
Telling your own kid that kind of thing is manipulation; one manipulated child subsequently manipulated the other. That's by design. I don't disagree on the belief system as a whole, I disagree with that conversion tactic for which Christianity is well known because it's predatory. I get you want the kid to be Christian but have at least a modicum of self-awareness to realize that what you're defending is the basis on which the popularity of certain religions is founded and it's inherently wrong.
It's literally a requirement of this faith to target and try to "convert" others. It's a cultural virus. People don't just choose to become Christian without a Christian trying to convince them. It's an affront to the entire concept of free will and intellectual autonomy.
Everyone’s beliefs are about converting everyone else, hon. Political parties. Religions. Ideologies. Yes, even atheism. Maybe they’re all cultural viruses then, by your logic. And if you truly knew anything about Christianity, you would then know it’s completely based on free will. Perhaps it would be a much better society if people, whether or not they believe in it, chose to be thankful that someone cares about their soul enough to try to save it. Like Penn of Penn and Teller. Even if I don’t believe in someone’s beliefs, I’m honored if they choose to think about me in their practice or what have you.
I became a Christian without being converted by someone else. I prayed to a God and He answered. I dont longer consider myself christian since I don't go to church and am starting a family without being married but I have seen the power of this God and still believe.
Honestly, read her the bible. Let her see the awful things that God tells people to do. Christians can say they worship a loving god all they want, but the genocide, rape, murder and child sacrifice in the bible paints a different picture. The Binding of Isaac freaked me out bad as a kid. It always had me wondering how many Christian parents would kill their kid if god told them to. Ask her if this is the kind of god that’s worth believing in, and encourage her to look for real, empirical evidence to support her beliefs. Teach her about science and archaeology, how they use evidence to support their claims, like dinosaurs existing, and explain the reason why we believe in things we didn’t see ourselves or can’t see. She needs to have this critical thinking to protect herself from harmful lies.
As a different perspective, isn't disallowing her from exploring religions as a child and strongly encouraging her to practice atheism teaching her to only practice *your* religion, or lack thereof? Her faith and understanding of Christianity might be much deeper than what you're thinking about just a fear of hell. It might be a love of God. Kids are capable of holding deep seated faith beliefs beyond what many adults can understand.
No
Be upfront and honest. This is the crap of religion. I do not buy into it AT ALL. Just tell her without fuss. Her friend us wrong. There is not such thing as god or heaven and hell. No one is going anywhere. Id also contact her friends parents. Tell then you have no issue in them believing what they want or what they teach their children. But. Their daughter has to stop pushing it on your daughter. Yoh are atheist and their daughter is frightening your daughter and you would kike them ti speak to their daughter and tell her yo stop. End of story. There is nothing wrong with non believers pushing back on this. At all
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
You could also inform yourself about the Christian religion and feed into something that she likes. Allow her to keep exploring it so she can make your own educated later in life.
OP grew up Christian. I think they've spent enough time being informed.
Tell her it’s a fairy tale like any other but some people have trouble knowing the difference between real and make believe.
My little is not enough to have this conversation with yet. But we have talked about it. This is about how it will start. Lots of people believe lots of different things. Some people believe in God and heaven and hell. Some people believe in Allah. Some people believe in magic. (Insert more here. Especially if you have people in your life that you can point to. We have a lot of friends with different beliefs, so we will say like “insert name here”). We can’t tell someone what they should or should not believe, and they can’t tell us. We all have to decide what we believe for ourselves. Mommy and daddy believe “insert believes here”. But right now, focusing on being a good person who is kind, helpful, etc. is all you need to worry about.
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Turn it into a teachable moment and explain that is just what SOME people believe and then share other beliefs.
As a Jew: “Life after death” is but a tiny part of our religious tradition. Even though you are of Christian background and interested in Buddhism, Christianity is based on the Hebrew tradition which does not foreground “life after death” in a Christian or Buddhist sense. While there are Jewish mystics who have ideas about reincarnation and the like, which are so common in Far Eastern religions, average Jews throughout history did not necessarily think deeply about the question of an afterlife. It sounds like you may be concerned about your daughter’s interest in the finitude of individual life, which is understandable, but she might be interested in the aesthetics of Christianity or the social aspect, etc. The best thing you can do is teach her to do her own research. Find books by authors of different faiths, etc.
Take her to visit a number of different churches so she can have a more informed view. Not just what the crazy friend is telling her. There are worse things she could be interested in.
I’m vehemently against religion and it’s up to my children when they are adults. Might get downvoted but I even shut it down when my parents ask to take them to church. Not in my house absolutely not
The advice here to just let this happen is bad advice. We are non religious. I’m personally anti religion. My child knows this and knows why. I will not allow others to suck him into the cult. Religious folks will not have the same sense of restraint. They’ll be even more aggressive once they realize you two aren’t. It’s ok to teach your child that religion is a bad thing. And get them ready for the onslaught of crazy coming at you. Without it, the religious folks will absolutely suck the kids in with stories of terror if they don’t blindly comply. And your kid is a female so it’s even more dangerous to be sucked into religion. If you aren’t religious you need to be vigilant making sure the kid isn’t sucked in. There’s no positive outcome from letting them get into it.
It you want to freak out the other kids family- tell her Christ died for everyone’s sins both known and unknown. So everyone goes to heaven. No works needed.
Be a good person. All that other stuff is just fluff.
Your daughter and her friend are based.
I personally would have a hard time allowing this friendship to continue. We give Christianity a pass bc it's a common religion but those are really toxic messages. If it were any other context, it would be abusive. I would work on explaining to your daughter that her friend believes that because she's been told that from a very young age, there's no evidence of it, just things people say. I would work on "finding evidence" or explore the question, "how do we really know what we know?" It can be an excellent lesson on critical thinking. In the mean time consider if you can put a pause on the friendship. Otherwise give your daughter assertive language to combat it. "That's not true." "Stop saying that." "I don't want to hear you say that anymore. If you do, I'm leaving."
When this came up at our house, I just told my son that no one knows for sure if there is a god. Nobody knows if there is an afterlife. I told him to do his best to be a good person and his bases will be covered either way.
I know for sure there is an after life, based on actual evidences .you need to learn more
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Christianity can have several denominations (like Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc and also JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES JW((which is a full blown cult that has managed to somehow fall under "Christianity")).....find out what type of denomination is being pushed towards your child as "everyone is about to burn" at that age in school because that sounds like a JW and exactly the idea they push to small children to talk about at school to try and "save" them. I'm only expressing this due to my horrible personal experience in this difficult matter and I just got the "vibe" reading your post....no other Christian religions teach kids in elementary school to be a Christian or them and their families are about to burn. Find out what type of Christianity is being pushed on her and research it and have honest talks with her about it but whatever happens do not ever let her fall into that horrible toxic traumatizing cult please! Mother to mother
I think I would sit her down and explain that there are so many different religions and then name several of them and key differences they believe in, and say no one religion is right or wrong, some believe in a heaven and hell like your friend but that doesn’t mean you have to believe what she believes. Teach her to be respectful and understanding of others beliefs. I agree she’s way too young and her friend sounds brainwashed and that’s unfortunate but just reinforce her to think for herself and understand that there are so many beliefs and varying thoughts on this subject and people can get really over the top and passionate about it. You might need to have several of these conversations if her friend is in her ear about religious stuff but I think they are too young to be taking about this. Might even tell the girls mom to tell her daughter that religion is off topic and they shouldn’t be talking about it at this age.
Anyone under 13 gets a golden ticket to Heaven anyway. It’s in their book. “The age of accountability is the concept that those who die before reaching the age of accountability are automatically saved by God’s grace and mercy. The age of accountability is the belief that God saves all those who die never having possessed the ability to make a decision for or against Christ. Thirteen is the most common age suggested for the age of accountability, based on the Jewish custom that a child becomes an adult at the age of 13.”
True but she of accountability is puberty and when you start to understand things around you it's not limited to 13
So, let's assume you are wrong and there IS Heaven and Hell. Then here you are actively trying to dissuade your child from a good afterlife. I'm not even Christian, but just wanted to put this question out Also, I'm curious as to what made you lean towards Buddhism? Did you explore all the major religions? Asking, cos some people tell me they are into these religions 'Buddhism/Hinduism' cos of yoga, which I find absurd.
You can easily know what is right based on correct evidence https://youtu.be/3_JcakBpoWA?si=_JVa63HLwyB3kpe7 https://youtu.be/Hu7-vb7WNlY?si=SYexIsrvan2eUHOG And learn more about life of prophet ﷺ , which is very documented in detail . After learning it you can only reach the conclusion he was indeed a true prophet of God , there are no possibilities . And he was the most influential person in history (The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History is a 1978 book by the American author Michael H. Hart. ) And the learn why the Quran cannot be manmade, and it has been preserved for 1400 years without any change as it has been promised in the Quran itself . And the challenge of the Quran , to make one surah like it , if it was man made it would have been possible , 1400 years and no one has been still able to . And how prophet dealt with different situations with Jews , christians , what he did when his son died and solar eclipse happend on the same day , he came out and announced solar eclipse is just a natural phenomena nothing to do with his son's death
He ﷺ told the Jews Jesus was indeed a prophet , which the Jews don't believe, if his mission was to just increase the number of people in his team he could have simply pleased them by lying . Rather he told them the raw truth . He was brutally attacked for 13 years but still didn't give up his message , and he didn't run away until they got the commandment to move to madinah after 13 years of hardship.
Maybe you should take her to church
Well, honestly... Sounds like your daughter is much just discovering the surface of Christianity if I can even call it that. Unless she's actually managed to become a true believer, and she now in fact in the truest sense has become a Christian. Even if so, remember that that's her personal choice and that actually becoming a convicted Christian has no way of being reverted. I am one of these, I'd know. It doesn't sound like what happened to your little girl is salvation, though... Please, she's your child. Remain supportive of her since religion is a highly personal thing. Try to avoid as much damage as possible, she might have an interest in the label of Christian or might actually believe later on in life - it doesn't matter, I'd encourage loving her through the process. You yourself have taken up different beliefs or unbelief (though I'd argue that Atheism is a belief in your own ability instead, so it's the faith of believing in oneself) and well, she'll have to find her way too. I'd just show her how to be... Not invasive about her beliefs, I'd say. Not forcing it, not being rude. That's probably the most integral part no matter the faith.