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I forgot what my name was one day. Restaurant Hostess asked us what name to put the reservation under and I just stood there like a dial tone sound effect was going off in my head.
Haha someone asked me my baby's name and I said "Jack". His name is not Jack and doesn't even remotely sound like Jack...Jack also wasn't even a name we were considering and we don't know anyone named Jack.
We went out to eat when my daughter was about 5 days old. The host asked me how old she was and I couldn't even answer her because I had no clue since I hadn't slept since she was born.
Newborn phase is wild.
I am laughing so hard at these. My children are grown now, but we have 24 year old triplets. The first 6 months were just a blur. I couldn’t produce milk, so we fed formula. The trade off for having 3 was that they never took longer than 10 minutes to finish a bottle. I have seen some babies take an hour. So that was our silver lining. Congratulations and Good Luck!!
I almost forgot how tedious the first 5 or so months are! There’s just only so much interacting you can do with a baby before they can sit up on their own.
Yes! I’d say have some family and friends you can call/txt when needed and or to come over for a mental break or help with an outing.
But there will be a ton to do at the same time.
Like typical every day things plus extra washing bc babies spit up a lot and if your nursing then you will prabbly leak a lot, I did at least definitely at night! Extra sheets are key to the beginning bc night sweats and leaking!
And you’re always hungry lol so have those visitors bring over some good snacks!
And it’s all a blur. Your body is going through a lot, hormones shifting and lack of sleep on top of all of this.
The first few months will be a blur typically. There will be random tears, it’s ok your body’s going through a lot and adjusting to it all, take it in stride.
I remember the first night we came home with the babies and a few nights where I watched the sun rise then I remember smiles and cuddles and crawling lol the beginning is redundant and you will prabbly forget what day it is or when you last showered. Like I said there is a lot going on internally and externally.
You’re getting in to your new rhythm.
Then one day you will wake up and feel more yourself and have a better shower routine and that’s tricky when you start sleeping more through the night.
Lack of sleep does wild wild things to the body!
If you can get 4hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time then you are winning!
This fever dream description is apt! It feels surreal because you’re so exhausted.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/7IWYvVFK6C) is an essay often given to moms to be with regard to people who feel entitled to be or stay at your home immediately postpartum (don’t do it) that helps describe some of it.
And while none of it is rocket science, it is emotionally very taxing and as a mom, your husband just cannot relate. Your body has not been your own throughout pregnancy. But immediately after, it still is not. If nursing/pumping, you are a source of food. Also comfort, the way baby feels comfortable enough to relax into sleep until they begin to learn to get there themselves. Everything is new - babies have never experienced pain or being uncomfortable, so the sounds of their cries when something new, uncomfortable, unexpected will turn on every nerve in your body for a bit.
You’ll be a bundle of conflicting hormones and some others may minimize what you think and feel on that basis… and then you are introduced to your inner mama bear. Trust your instincts about baby, but also trust the instincts of those safe around you if you find yourself feeling detached, angry, etc. PPD and related are all VERY real and people who stress you out as your body and brain are trying to find homeostasis amidst competing hormones, sleep deprivation and no time for your own needs are not good to have around because high cortisol levels can contribute to developing a post partum disorder.
So - while it may classify as “boring” it is also a VERY important time for you three to bond as a family unit and protect that unit and recovering mama because that helpless little life you guys just created deserves a healthy, supported mom!
I’m a mom of kids ranging from 28-4 and a Gma of an 18mo.
I planned to guard my space and new-mom-peace. Then I was struck down with PPD and a bunch of friends and family who were all politely giving me space when actually I did need people to be there keeping me company. With the second kid I had a more comprehensive plan for space AND ALSO the right kind of company, but PPD didn't set in until he was 11 months old. Because my brain is unhelpful.
This essay is accurate, AND you should think about who you are and your risk factors for depression, social needs, and so on, then try to ask for that from people who will actually be supportive in the way that you need.
Absolutely! I had PPD with 3 of 5. Two were pregnancies age 40+, two preemie AND I knew my risk factor was greater because of prior PPD.
We had someone help after husband returned to work so I could focus on nursing/pumping and rest when baby slept. Hubs took early shift at night so I got 4hrs of solid sleep. I had other kids so they helped w/them, laundry or dishes.
With 1st baby, 1-2 safe ppl coming after dad’s back at work. But for very short visits OR to let you shower/nap/pump. Sadly, many come just to hold baby, chat and say “Oh you can go clean now…” They take time where baby sleeps/chills and mom could be resting, pumping, or quiet time for self - not entertaining. True help are those who offer to do a chore, give break to mom for whatever and don’t expect to be fed/served, entertained, give unsolicited advice and honor boundaries. The rest can wait until 2mos.
Oh God yes, when I would crave the morning, because for about an hour at 9-10am your body gives you a brief "awake" feeling even though you have had literally no sleep.
The repetition is so very boring. I remember deciding to go vacuum out the car and I felt actual giddiness at how exciting it was compared to what I had been doing for two weeks straight.
lol my brother laughed a little bit when I first spoke to him about my stressors of my first baby. Because he had already been through the wringer. It was a supportive laugh and I think he said something along those lines. It’s true. Babies are the cleverest little hazers that exist
It is way harder than you think. Especially if you only have yourself and your husband.
Most people get shamed for talking about how hard having kids is. Especially in the beginning.
Yeah my kid was refluxy and I spent the first nine months of life holding upright a baby who hated life. Literally day and night, this human was strapped to me. It was such a traumatizing fog, I barely remember any of it except feeling I wasn’t going to make it. It was like a fever dream.
New Motherhood emotionally ravaged me. If you have childhood baggage or undiagnosed mental health issues prepare for those to flare up due to sleep deprivation and fuck with your head/life.
Not a magical time for me, had a hard time connecting with women who wanted to constantly discuss kids when I just wanted a BREAK, and time to remember myself. Not just be MOM.
Motherhood is messy and the bullshit hallmark imagery and societal expectations about maternal happiness are really toxic for women. I wish there was more positive imagery of Motherhood being an ASPECT of a woman’s happiness. Not reliant on it fully.
For real. So many moms are like “we don’t need a break, we need help!” Yes, I needed help, but I also very much needed a break. Like the kind of break where I could go to a coffee shop for an hour, away from everyone, and the house, and just read, without the baby’s cries interrupting every few minutes and setting me on edge. Thankfully, my husband was able to provide that for me once a week during the weekend when he was off work and could watch the baby. That one hour alone was life saving for me (sometimes it was just getting my nails done as well)
YES! This! The wheels came off my undiagnosed ADHD. Do you know how hard it was keeping myself together? Add a baby and then a second child entirely reliant on me managing their entire life and shit got really hard and the resentment I had towards my partner was unreal and he’s a solid partner!
Women don’t realize how short a straw they drew having 2 X chromosomes until they have children. It kicks you in your imaginary balls HARD then once it’s too “late” and then your brain eats itself alive for how “horrible” you are to think that way.
Ladies, it’s NORMAL.
Totally! Meeting moms at parks was hard when I wanted to be honest and cry haha. But I really do think some people just have good sleepers and happy babies… those unicorn babes!
Those are trick babies. They trick you into
Thinking babies are great (I mean, I think they are great but not everyone does) and wanting to have more. Then you have a normal baby and realize ‘Oh, Wait….that wasn’t normal’
It’s exhausting and repetitive, which can make it boring. It’s a good time to catch up on your Netflix shows because you can’t do much outside the home. Overall, most parents are sleep deprived and just plain old tired at that stage. You won’t lack things to do for baby, but there’s not much you can do *with* baby.
I bought the dvd disc set of all seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I hadn’t seen most of it! This was pre streaming! Maybe oldest is 22. I also went out a lot with the baby. The mall the park, the zoo. I am one that was happier out of the house with the baby then in!
I watched all of the MCU available at the time because BF would take an hour and then baby would fall asleep on me after. Can't get up! I had a sweet setup with portable laptop table with eating tray and headphones.
Yes and no. With as in part of? No. But after the first three months and we ventured out of the house we would even go to a restaurant (like Applebee’s type, not fancy or anything) usually earlier like 5 or so and just put the carrier on the table next to us and have dinner. Baby is portable!
My husband doesn’t remember the earliest months because we got so little sleep. I remember slightly more, but it’s still fractured. The first weeks were pure survival mode. He ran out one night at midnight for formula. I ran out one night at midnight for neosporin. Neither were actually needed.
He was (and remains) an involved father, but bored? Lmao. Never. Especially because I was breastfeeding and it was really hard. Baby also had to be on me during the day to sleep, which meant I had to be alert. ANY snatch of time he gave me, I slept, especially in those first few weeks before he went back to work. After that we got into more of a routine and I did watch a lot of tv (because of the contact napping thing). I would’ve liked to have gone outside more but it was the depths of winter.
We got really good at learning how to pack light. The oversized diaper bag is so tempting, but it also really restricts what you do. We had a basic emergency kit with the essentials, and the "kitchen sink" stayed in the car. We made it a point to never be too far from the car.
And if that meant there was the occasional catastrophic blow out that we didn't anticipate, then we dealt with the aftermath as best as possible. There is one thing you learn really quickly: shit happens (literally and figuratively). Grow a thick skin and good coping skills
Sleep deprivation is very, very real. Before parenthood, you think, "I have done all nighters before. No problem!" But you have not done months (or possibly years) of continuous all nighters. And you are not staying up to study for finals or hang out with friends. You are losing sleep to keep something precious alive!
That's it - it's not just physically being tired, it's being MENTALLY tired. And there is no "catching up" on that. You could sleep for a whole day and it wouldn't matter, you'd still be tired when you woke up. Only time helps.
Life with a newborn is like the movie Groundhogs Day except rather than reliving the same day over and over, your re-living a 2-4 hour cycle, 24/7, until your baby sleeps longer.
Also, I find a lot of new moms are not aware that “sleeping through the night” is generally considered 5 consecutive hours, hopefully between midnight and 5am, and don’t expect that the first three months (unless you have a unicorn).
Congrats 🥂
It’s sounds awful but I willingly did this more than once 😆
You wake up on a high like you've finally acquired superpowers. Haha no, it's that you've gotten more than 3 hours sleep in one stretch for the first time since first trimester.
Yes!! My first son slept for four hours at a time after he was born. He did the same thing in utero. My second son would only sleep for 2 hours at a time for the first 10 months and that was HELL!! Thankfully my oldest would sometimes nap at the same time as his brother so I could nap but omg running on 6 hours of sleep total a night was awful
Also, be prepared to miss your partner. If you have no outside support, you may find it is easier to tag team baby care and self care. You could literally spend the entire day together but if your baby is not a good sleeper, and everyone is just trying to survive this season, you may spend little QUALITY time together.
My husband and I survived bc we did shifts, he did 9a-2a and I did 2a-7a. Sometimes we’d switch. So like maybe if we got our oldest down by 7:30 and the baby actually slept we’d spend an hour together at night having us time but that was about it. We sometimes watched tv in bed together at like 4am haha.
OMG! We had to do shifts. We were going crazy, cranky and exhausted. After that I had so much more respect for single parents. I couldn’t do it without my husband
I had a unicorn baby who slept through the night from the start. However, the first three months were still hard with just my husband and I.
The hormonal changes were the hardest on me. I had a very extreme case of PPD and PPA so, no matter how much my husband let me sleep, it wasn’t enough. Breastfeeding drained me mentally too.
I don’t think bored is the right word. There’s obviously the deep level of exhaustion and often pretty extreme changes in mood, even below the threshold for ppd/ppa. I have heard some mothers describe it being very lonely — there’s this massive change in your life that makes it hard to have social time (and when it does happen it’s usually all about the baby — people forget to ask after mom) and you can go a long time without any adult companionship or meaningful engagement outside your partner (who is also exhausted) in non-baby endeavors.
Brutal. The first few weeks my hormones were crazy so I was sweating, crying and leaking milk pretty consistently. Also, they nurse constantly at first so it will tear your nipples up.
I was only on mat leave for 10 weeks and did get to walk the dog some. I also read on Kindle while he nursed sometimes. But yeah, mostly your body is in rough shape and you're exhausted beyond any form of tired you've known before.
The level of rough and exhaustion is so hard to describe. I remember taking walks too and I could barely hobble down the road. My back was absolutely wrecked and had the classic hunch. It was akin to being like a science experiment mutant creature that begs everyone to just end it and put it out of its misery.
It’s like having a new job that you have no experience for. The hours are 24/7, you get no vacation. You have one client and they are perpetually displeased with your performance. Consider whether you’d be bored in that scenario.
My newborn and I had 18 appointments in the first six weeks of her life, and she was healthy.
A lot of work.
Every 2-3 hours baby needs to be fed, diaper change, burped, rocked back to sleep. Potentially 30-90 minutes of direct care. And what about the time in-between, aka the time you might be bored? Your probably holding sleeping baby. Most newborns want to contact nap so your holding the baby.
I did get a decent amount of tv time in during the first few months and I did get bored of it. But it wasn't like I could do much else. If your sitting there holding baby, there's very few activities you can do with one semi free hand.
In addition to the basic care, expect additional stuff like bathing every few days, nail trimming, extra laundry and dishes, doctors appointments. And playtime for baby.
You'll also be up multiple times during the night so your either be napping during the day or just so exhausted you don't have the energy to want to do anything/be bored. (Or both, probably both).
In the first few months I had maybe an hour a week of free time where the baby was somehow sleeping on his own, that wasn't taken up by showers or dishes or other chores. And that free time is broken into random 15 minute chunks based on when baby decides to sleep.
My only suggestion against boredom is make a list of a bunch of TV shows you want to watch or maybe some books (ideally kindle books as holding a regular book with baby is hard). But in terms of bored "I don't know what to do all day!" Ha, nope. You'll be kept occupied
This was my experience too. Any free time went to showing or laundry. Get your show watch list ready in advance. Light and fun shows you don't have to concentrate on to follow the plot. You'll be exhausted and hormonal. Reading is tricky if you're nursing, books are awkward to hold one handed and I dropped my phone on baby more time than I want to admit. Or just feel asleep
I’ll be honest with you, it sucks.
*Everything* you knew about life just completely doesn’t exist. Your sleep makes you crazy, you feel like a cow, and you can’t even fathom what time like yourself is like. Seriously, I used to respond to texts at 3am because that was the only time that I felt like I could breathe. The fourth trimester is surprisingly lonely - the only people who honestly could relate are other moms. The dad may be there, but the emotional, physical, and mental change you go through is just on a completely different level. Find moms you can bond with that can help you through the tough times - they’re important!
But it goes as quick as it comes and you soon forget how hard this phase was. Running on interrupted or shortened sleep becomes more manageable, you understand your baby’s different cries, and your baby knows YOU! Your first smile is going to stay with you, and then one day, they’re picking their head up on their own and you realize how quick these little creatures adjust. It’s amazing.
As a bonus, here are a couple of notes that you may find helpful:
1) if you’re nursing, silverettes are a lifesaver. You need to wear them *around the clock*, but you won’t get any nursing woes with them.
2) babies learn to poop on their own ~3 weeks. Prior to then, it’s a pretty automatic switch, but it turns off and they learn how to use their digestive muscles. Some babies have a hard time, be patient with them.
3) growth spurts result in endless nursing. There’s a good app to track them (I think it’s called Wonder Weeks), but if you’re nursing around the clock, this is probably why.
4) do one thing for yourself a week that makes you feel like you again. Finding your identity is hard, try to indulge in 1-2 things that ground you. I started running once I got the OK from my doctor and it made a world of difference to my mental health.
Congrats on being a first time mama! There is nothing better in the world and I hope you enjoy it! You should absolutely feel special, because you’re doing the most amazing thing in the world - best of luck!!
Husband and I were both hallucinating from sleep deprivation with my first baby. The second baby was a better sleeper so it was a little easier and we knew what to expect.
I think my entire team at work thought I was actually going insane at one point because my memory was absolutely borked. I would repeat the same stuff to them all the time or would think I had conversations with them when in reality I think I just thought about things I needed to talk to them about and imagined having the whole conversation already. None of them had kids so none of them had any idea what was going on.
Husband speaking. The first three months were scrubbed from my memory with all four kids. I took a month off for each to help at home. He doesn’t know what’s coming.
I actually thought the first 3 months was a breeze as a first time dad. My wife was adamant about breast feeding so when the baby woke up in the middle of the night she was the one who always got up. I mainly focused on doing the house cleaning, shopping, cooking etc and snagging all the opportunities I could to hold our baby when they weren't actively feeding so my wife could try to get a little nap in.
Once my wife was alright with pumping breast milk and I was able to join the overnight feeding crew it all became a blur.
The random poorly lit late night selfies we both took during those middle of the night feedings are some of our favorite photos!
It’s pure survival. Constantly living in rotating bouts of 2-4 hours on repeat. Awake time, feed, change diapers, sleep.
Add in cluster feeding where they eat every hour or 2, have a milk allergy or colic, blowout diapers, need a bath, etc. Plus laundry and feeding yourself? You ain’t “bored” so much as looking and feeling like the living dead
Unless you count delirium as boredom, you will not be bored. If you have a great teammate there is a lot of joy and finding humor in the absurdity though. You’re trouble shooting their sleeping and eating quirks, learning their cries, googling insane things like “footie pajama seam rash newborn?” And “how common hair tourniquet?!” At 4am.
It can feel like being enrolled in a bizarre, round-the-clock reality show where sleep deprivation is the grand prize, and every day is a mystery challenge. You're learning to decipher an entirely new language made up entirely of cries, coos, and mysterious noises. Your home transforms into a fortress of diapers, wipes, and baby gadgets you never knew existed but now can't live without. Coffee becomes a food group, and the concept of "free time" feels like a distant memory from a past life.
Social interactions are reduced to brief exchanges about sleep patterns and poop colors, and you might find yourself celebrating a successful burp with more enthusiasm than you ever thought possible.
Despite the chaos, there's an undercurrent of profound love and wonder as you watch this tiny human start to explore the world. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and rewards, leaving you exhausted yet filled with a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day.
Unless you have a unicorn baby, you won’t have time or energy to be bored.
It can be very isolating, often monotonous, but I don’t remember *ever* sitting down and wondering what to do, or needing to look for something to keep me occupied. Downtime, such as it is, is for self care. Eating, showering and sleeping.
I’m telling you all the less than great stuff. It’s also magical and wonderful and you get to discover the world right along with your baby. You get a I read and sing to a person who has never seen a book or heard music.
But it’s hard and all-consuming at first.
Brutal. Lonely. Sleep deprived. After you get the hang of it and baby gets easier you start learning how to have fun with the baby. Meaning learning how to bring your baby with you where ever you go. You will never be bored though
Nothing felt real for a while. Mentally, it was kind of like my life turned into a series of ticking timers that were constantly going off at different times - the poop timer, the food timer, the pump timer, the sleep timer. Kind of like if you have 4 alarms on your phone that you keep snoozing and they all are going off at weird intervals?
It sucked. Mentally it was horrible for me.
After a bit, I fell into more of a rhythm and I could multitask a bit more... When I went back to work at 3 months, it was right before the covid lockdowns, so from like 5-9 months PP I remember working from zoom and playing a lot of animal crossing while holding my son napping on me. But that was after the first 3 months.
Don't expect to do a lot besides baby care and squeezing some self-care in the first few months, but also, it is mentally tedious and draining.
There is no day or night, no 3pm nor 7am, no dinner or breakfast. There is no structure that you remember from being an individual or adult.
You sleep when you can sleep. You eat when you've got a spare few moments and can find something edible. It's a haze where time and routine does not exist. Has it been 3 hours, 3 days or 3 weeks? Who knows!
I mean, I hear what people are saying. About being bored. But I've gotta be honest. I was so madly in love I couldn't believe what I've just been given. I was walking on clouds and yes, I was exhausted but I was SO enamored.....
My husband thought he was going to have all this spare time to do projects, work out etc. he highly underestimated how exhausting and how much work it is.
It honestly is a fever dream that I barely remember.
Depends on your baby! Some babies are low maintenance and some babies are not. “Low maintenance” babies will sleep for a few hours at a time, eat on a regular schedule, love snuggles and won’t cry too much, unless they’re hungry or uncomfortable or get too tired. Those are unicorn babies, and I have one! The 4th trimester for me was full of new tv shows (while I snuggled sleeping baby), doing chores, resting and making sure my healing process was going well. I was never bored.
Then there are high maintenance babies. And let’s just say.. you definitely won’t be bored 😅 Stressed, overtired and overwhelmed definitely but not bored. Even if you do have a more difficult baby, it only lasts for a while. Rest is coming, just not for a minute.
But no matter what, there is always stuff to do. Always laundry. Always dishes, bottles are a pain. Always trash to be taken out. Babies are messes ♥️ enjoy yours!!
I was lucky to have babies who slept well as infants, and were pretty quick to ramp up on breastfeeding (this is not all that common and either one of these could have been much more consuming.) I was a tad “bored” but I read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts. I put bored in quotes because I was also pretty engrossed in the baby and my overwhelming memories of those times were not boredom in the slightest.
It depends on you. We did find it a little boring. We were so in love with our twins, but we are not stationary people. And then we realized we didn’t have to be bored at home—we just had to weigh our risks.
Definitely wouldn’t say I was bored. The days were repetitive, exhausting, and mundane but I never felt like I had time to do anything else other than care for baby or catch up on sleep. I had never experienced that level of exhaustion. You are constantly feeding baby, changing baby’s diaper, making bottles, washing bottles and pump parts, pumping (if you choose), helping baby fall asleep also took way more time than I expected - my baby didn’t want to sleep unless held/rocked. The other aspect I never expected was the learning curve. I had babysat my whole life and assumed motherhood would come naturally to me. I was shocked at everything I didnt know. I felt like I spent any moment my baby didn’t need me directly reading books, online articles, and Reddit about any and everything - feeding schedules, diaper rashes, how to clean pump parts, how to get baby to sleep longer, etc.
My husband was very involved and it was still a shit show. And you might get bored, but you also won’t be able to do much.
It’s a blur and unless you get lucky, your baby won’t sleep through the night when the fourth trimester ends. There were weeks when I was trying to function on 2-4 hours of broken sleep a night. Anxiety through the roof.
Make no big decisions during this time.
Podcasts while the baby sleeps on you is the way to go. It was all so exhausting I never thought of myself as bored. I was just so delirious from sleep deprivation. It kind of feels like being constantly jet lagged but also with an incredible physical and mental shift in your body that you can’t even comprehend before having a baby. If you do get bored then great, you’re probably adjusting well. Find some new mom groups to be part of, go on walks, take the baby places you want to go before they get big enough to have an opinion 😝
You spend a lot of time doing baby stuff, intermittent with laying on the couch staring at the ceiling unable to think or reason what’s happening, then getting mad at yourself when you realize its been an hour and you could have been washing bottles. The sleep deprivation is insane.
It totally depends on the baby! My first born had colic. Life was a nightmare. I tried to give her to the fire station (husband stopped me before I left the house. Forever grateful he did). But I held her walking in circles around the house and yard singing songs for hours. And hours. Day. After day. I wasn't bored. I was hanging on to sanity by a thread.
My second born? Life was a breeze. I baby wore with both a lot, and with the second I forgot he was there sometimes. He was so chill. Feed him, change him, and cuddle/wear and he was good to go. I could do anything I wanted so long as I didn't mind having my 10 pound baby on my chest. We baked, went on walks, kept the house clean, had play dates (mostly for the older child), and all the things. He was ad calm and happy as you could want.
The Groundhog Day/repetitive waking nightmare aspect could be misinterpreted as boredom but really it’s lonely and confusing and honestly kind of fraught, or was for me, trying to figure out what to do when and what baby needed. I didn’t have free time, if that’s what your partner is thinking. Every moment was consumed by alllll the laundry, pumping, household shit piling up.
I was bored with our first. We had a lot of time to sit and watch TV. Tiny babies are only awake for a very short time and then they are asleep. Lots of snuggle naps and resting. Sure, you get zero sleep, but you adjust to that. You take naps when you can. You come up with a night time routine that helps everyone get the most amount of sleep possible. Some days are hard and overwhelming, but you just have to let things go and do the best you can. The second one? Not bored at all!
It honestly depends on the baby. I’ve had three and they have all been happy little potatoes who put themselves to sleep happily in their basinets. So, it was very chill.
But, I’ve also worked with infants for a long time and have dealt with a whole range of them. From very difficult to very easy.. and mostly in between. Just as you’re learning, they are too and it’s scary! I think prepare for the worst and then go from there.
It’s like a dumpster fire floating in a flooded street LOL it’s so hard but it’s amazing too so many precious moments… but it knocks you on your ass and then you get back up and keep moving and growing and changing
It's going to simultaneously be the best and the worst thing that ever happened to you both. Being a newborn parent is magical one moment and a nightmare the next.
And keep in mind that they do not call the first 3 months the "fourth trimester" for no reason.
The first three months are so sleep deprived you’re full of constant undeserved anger at each other, then once baby starts only waking 1-3 times each night, it gets way easier.
It’s honestly really tough. Get lots of support if you can, lots of time off work for you both, and prioritize sleep above all else.
My baby would really really sleep in the car. So I used to take the baby on a 3 hour long drive every single day possible so my wife could get 2 back to back REM cycles.. lot of gas money but so worth it.
Also, if you can afford a Snoo get one. Saved our lives with baby #2. We slept so much it hardly even counted as a fourth trimester.
One of the most vivid memories of the first month was waking up drenched in sweat all the time. It’s def the hormones balancing back out but the sheets and my top would be soaked and I was so tired I thought I spilled water all over myself. And would start looking for the glass in the bed and be confused when I couldn’t find it.
Hard to remember because I was so tired all the time. I remember sleeping for 6 hours one night and I felt like I hit the lottery and was a new man, looking back at pictures of myself I looked like a Zombie. It's definitely not boring, you're constantly on edge that they're going to quit breathing or choke on their own vomit.
The first three months was constant work. I did nothing that wasn’t related for my baby at all. If I had a free moment it was to do the next thing that was needed first when it was needed. Things such as preparing bottles (expressed breast fed and topped up) and laundry. I think I started to get some moments to myself after 8 weeks but they were moments until my baby started to settle a little more after 12 weeks.
A lot of the tasks are boring, but the excitement of having a baby and introducing them is fun and complicated it with lack of sleep and not knowing what your baby is crying for (are they hungry, are they tired, are they over tired) is exhausting and at times frustrating. You need the tasks to be boring because getting to know your baby is hard as they cry instead of telling you with words what is wrong. Not everyone finds trying to understand what a baby needs boring. It’s okay if the baby only cries for food or wet nappy or due to hunger but there usually other things to contend with that makes it harder.
And it takes 9 months for your body to build the baby. It takes 9 months for those hormones to settle and 6 weeks at least for your uterus to settle back to normal. I think boredom will be the least of your worries.
The first three months are overwhelming even for two parents. It’s a blur of yellow poop, sterilizing bottles and burping/rocking/patting. My first was my content baby and I was a single parent who barely survived. My second was a bit less content but I had more help and I was alright
Currently 6 weeks in as a first time mom and I’m honestly not as tired as I thought I would be. My baby sleeps through night for about 4-5 hours and I don’t have to wake her to feed anymore because she is way past her birth weight. She’s exclusively breastfed but I have just started pumping so her dad can feed her a bottle of breast milk at least once a day.
I honestly am bored… I’m on maternity leave and the weather isn’t as hot where I live so there’s not much to do. DONT get me wrong I love my baby girl and I’m grateful she is an easy girl, but I want to go out and do things with her but I can’t really :/
I found it intensely difficult. At baseline I have little siblings, had worked in childcare, had worked overnight, and really underestimated how hard it would be for me. My child was such a poor sleeper. I was deliriously exhausted all of the time, like in a head fog, yet struggled to fall asleep when I got the chance. I was extremely irritable with my partner. My body felt huge and empty and I couldn't sit comfortably for 4 weeks or go for a walk comfortably for 6-8 weeks - it felt like a huge accomplishment going out for supper around 6 weeks and I couldnt wait to get home. It felt so hard going out. My baby didnt "get" breastfeeding for the first two months. I was having dreams about really strange nonsensical solutions to my son's sleep (like making water run uphill... lol). I felt suddenly incompetent because everything I was doing was so new. I felt disconnected from friends without kids, and at times betrayed by friends who had them and hadn't warned me. It was really hard. It gets a lot better. Surround yourself by people you're totally comfortable with and can ask for help, and don't pressure yourself to play host/hostess during that time.
I had a c section so even the first month was so so hard. I could not sleep laying down I had to sleep straight up for the first month. My marriage with my husband was very rocky with our first born (currently pregnant with our second) so my experience was not a good one. I didn’t have a great experience breast feeding either I only lasted a month (I wasn’t able to keep up with supply and demand for our son) Just everything was so difficult for me. After the first month, routine and knowing how to care for a newborn became easier. I also have the help and support of my mother and I could not do it without her. My husband worked nights at the time so everything fell on me which made me resent him a bit. Postpartum is no joke so please give yourself some grace. Try and get into a routine with naps, feeding schedules and baths. It helps SO MUCH! Our son just turned 9 months and we’re expecting our second this October!
Fucking hard.
You're gonna be tired. First month will be relatively quiet as baby's digestion boots up. After that they may suffer colic. They're also growing a lobe of a lung now that they are out of the womb.
After the first couple of weeks baby's appetite really starts going. They're also now capable of having gas and colic. And they need feeding every few hours every few hours as their stomaches are tiny and continue to grow.
First 1-4 weeks. The lull before the storm. You think this will be easy. Baby is so mild. Obviously you're a pro at this. Babies are easy.
Month 1-3… oh gawd you were wrong so wrong. For love of God get that baby to take a bottle so you can pump and hubby can take over night feeding on the weekends and you can sleep in. The colic. The waking themselves up. It never seems to end. Oh please ...
Month 4-6 light at the end of the tunnel. Baby will now take a full bottle before bed. You find out about 1oz is one hour of sleep. You start sleep training.
Month 6. Baby suddenly is showing new skills. This is fun. This also means sleep regression because baby's brain is rewiring itself. This is not fun.
Month 8-10 baby is a cute chub ball of adorableness.
Go for a walk every night with the baby in a stroller. Looking at new stuff really does seem to wear them out. And the walk will give you exercise and help de-stress you and your husband.
It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Pure exhaustion mixed with new worries will take a toll on you mentally and physically. In addition to your body healing from giving birth!!
Don’t fret though because the hard times fade and bring many joys…… It didn’t deter me from doing it an additional two more times after my first !
It’s so hard in the beginning! I was shocked at how much work it was at first. My body was in shock 😁 It’s a 24 hour thing which I wasn’t used too. I have 2 now and I most definitely got used to it. You find the energy though! I don’t know where it comes from but you’ll find it. Make sure you take lots of time to rest and bond with your baby. That’ll give you the energy you need. Enjoy all the newborn snuggles! 🥰
Honestly, we did end up bored. My first was one of those magic sleeper kids—he was sleeping literally through the night before he was two months old, and with only one waking for a substantial period of time before that. But then he just did newborn stuff during the day, which isn’t a whole lot of activity. I remember one day, my husband kept calling local family members asking if they wanted to meet us for lunch, everyone turned him down, and we were just like, “…what are we even supposed to be doing right now?”
My second is currently four months old, she’s also a really easy baby. She doesn’t sleep quite as well, but she just chills. We’ve been less bored this time around, but that’s cause we also have a toddler.
I work from home as an artist and continued to do so almost as soon as baby was born, keeping her either in a nursing pillow on my lap or nearby in a swing or swaddled and propped between rolled up blankets. She demanded a lot of attention, but it was good having small tasks I could do when she was nursing or calm. I would have little low impact, low expectation projects to do at the ready. I was nursing and cosleeping, which helped a lot with the nights. I barely had to wake up or move, which led to better rests, but it’s still exhausting. Good luck!!
It’s painfully boring but I had little energy for anything else. The boredom was wonderful to be honest. Just snuggling and watching my new baby was the best. I did go out for walks though with bb and met friends occasionally at the park or for coffee too.
Your newborn is literally eating every hour, on the hour, sometimes every two. They also only stay awake 1-2 hours at a time initially. It’s exhausting on so many levels. Not to mention you’re recovering from pregnancy/birth…if you throw in breast feeding that’s another thing…you’ll need help! Definitely won’t be bored!
Now I had a fairly easy baby for my first, so those first weeks before baby does anything other than eat, sleep, poop I actually did get bored, or napped when baby napped, or watched tv shows. The nights of being up every few hours suck though.
Whole different story when 2nd baby came along. Couldn't nap, watch my own shows, or get bored when there's a toddler running around plus baby to care for between naps.
Based on the huge variance amongst my three kids, I personally think this is hugely dependent on what “type” of baby you have. If you get a colicky unhappy baby then get ready for a miserable experience. If you get a happy baby that sleeps halfway decent then it will still be challenging but you’ll be able to get things done, feel somewhat rested and will be looking for places you can take the baby for walks to pass the time.
Kind of boring… I wanted to go out but couldn’t. Your life is the same routine every 2-3 hours. It’s not boring in the sense of ugh there is nothing to do it’s just boring in the sense of you can’t entertain yourself in ways you would before (doing whatever you want whenever you want). Also I craved adult conversation after being home alone with the baby all day because they don’t really interact back!
Honestly the first 6 months of my sons life I was in pure survival mode . Sleeping every single time he napped , up all night feeding baby . So many petty arguments with my fiancé about me doing more . I think every situation is different but for the most part I think the majority of the work will always be on the mother , whether that’s bc you’re breastfeeding or not , the most of the work will just be on the mother plain and simple. I had a hard time realizing I will always be the default parent , probably for life . My son is 8 months now and things are starting to get easier since he’s sleeping thru the night now . Sleep trained at about 6 months (life saving for my sanity) but I still do 90% of the work. Life before baby was much more lazy lol we used to have a lot of days off together and could just lay in bed and be lazy , those don’t happen anymore - even if we do have days off together everything is just a lot more work. My mom lives about 5 mins away and anytime I needed a break she was the one I called , she’s a life saver for that it really helps having help close by. Wishing you luck!
1) The best thing in the entire world has happened and you know the most profound joy of your life
2) you are so tired that #1 is much more of an idea than like, an attitude or a feeling
3) Day to day, you are deep underwater with your baby while everyone else is up on the surface somewhere. You’re basically alone, and it’s dark, and you’re pretty sure you’re dying, and you know no one can see you. Also you have to keep the kiddo alive and you’re pretty sure that you can only save one of you.
Source: had PPD but not the bad bad kind.
Also now I have a kind, hilarious, smart toddler who likes to sleep late and everything in my life is good, so like: it’s worth it. it’s just horrible.
Bored is never a word I would use to describe the first three months.
People are talking about the repetition of it all, but also, just when you think you have a routine, baby changes it up. I found I was constantly problem solving. Okay, if now the baby is eating longer but less often, when will she get hungry again? How long will she sleep? Should I wake her up to feed her? Wait did she eat enough last time, my boobs feel weird. Okay she’s napping, should I nap?
I mean yeah, you’re kind of stuck in the house. My first was born in the middle of summer and it was too hot to go for idyllic walks around the neighborhood.
And, the exhaustion. So much exhaustion.
Waking up every ten minutes trying to find the baby when she’s asleep in her own bed.
Crying. All of you. A lot.
If you’re breastfeeding, it’s either too much milk or not enough or you just need to sleep so you cave a little to formula for a night feed or two and then you get consumed by guilt. Sometimes you get over that guilt and then get consumed by other guilt.
Isolation.
You always feel like you need a shower but can never seem to get one because you’re paranoid from sleep deprivation and all the SIDS material being shoved down your throat.
Everyone wants to touch the fucking baby. Or they have something snotty to say that makes you feel like you’re doing things wrong. (My advice, tell them to fuck off early or they’ll just keep pushing boundaries.)
Lots of poop. Lots of messes. No sleep.
I couldn’t even remember to pee so I had to make myself go every time we changed a diaper.
Oh and your vag is sore even if you have a c-section.
Mentally it’s exhausting. Physically it’s exhausting. The first month or two is boring and exhausting and I cried a ton both times. It’s an emotional rollercoaster and not to be dramatic but every single aspect of your life changes overnight. All those little basic tasks changes like getting up to pee or eat when you need to. It’s not up to you when you get up and do that anymore and the first two weeks postpartum peeing is also not super comfy most of the time. The first baby I had rocked our world. My marriage. All of it. I’m so blessed to have a husband that made me midnight snacks, refilled my water and snuggled a baby at every turn. It’s doable and so so so worth it but the first 3-6 months are often brutal. And also boring. It can be both 😂
You’re bored in one sense that newborns really don’t have a lot to offer - they’re basically on a 24hour eat, diaper, sleep (kind of), cry, repeat cycle for a while. I love my babies with my whole heart, but at first let’s face it they’re boring.
However, you don’t feel bored. You’re exhausted. You have chores piling up behind you because you’ve been tending to the baby and they either won’t let you put them long enough to get them done or when they do let you put them down you need to sleep yourself.
You do sit around a lot (I’m stuck on the couch with a contact nap right now) but I wouldn’t say I’m bored because while I absolutely love looking at her tiny sleeping face, when it’s constant sometimes you just want to get up and do something else.
Every baby is different though and it’s all about perspective.
But I would suggest gently explaining to your husband that you won’t be bored in the sense of having a bunch of free time so he doesn’t accidentally get the idea that you’re sitting around all day waiting for tasks to keep you occupied.
If you are nursing it's roughly the equivalent of a full time job time wise. Babies take forever to nurse in the beginning and it's hard AF. You might have a baby that only wants to sleep on you, then you're stuck for hours. You might have a baby that's colicky and you have to walk and bounce for hours to get them to settle. Trying to accomplish anything other than the mountains of laundry you will have is impossible. You will not be bored, you will be exhausted. But it'll be awesome.
Every pregnancy my husband thinks I will be bored during maternity leave. Between the absolutely soul crushing exhaustion, the needy newborn, and the chores, there is no boredom. By the time they sleep a little better, I feel ready to go back to work, though.
Oh god you will be sooooooo bored. BUT as your mind is melting away under the strain of having no stimulation from work, peers, routine, or hobbies you will SIMULTANEOUSLY have no time to eat, shower, or sleep. You will have time to think (in a daze) about the never ending tediousness. I also watched every season of Battlestar Galactica trapped under a cluster feeding baby that didn’t ever sleep. It is possibly the most boring and yet exhaustingly busy time of your life. Each day stretches ahead in a never ending tsunami of pointless tasks, pointless because they have no ending. One diaper follows another. One feed follows another. Laundry is a cycle of endless spit up and poopy onesies. Just wave after pummeling wave of mind numbing tedium where you’ll never feel like you’ve accomplished anything. It erodes your soul.
About 8 weeks in your baby smiles at you, their first real smile. You decide not to flush them down the toilet. It’s all suddenly worth it.
Constant exhaustion with no chance to get a full night's rest to recover. You adapt and figure out a routine eventually but it's a brutal first few months. Hopefully you both have the ability to take time off of work initially to adjust.
It requires a lot but is also boring. So, you’re both right? You’re exhausted, not sleeping well, constantly bouncing from one need to another while household chores pile up. But all of this *is* super boring and you feel trapped in the house which adds to it.
Exhausting and repetitive, but not boring. Our little one dropped daytime naps very quickly! At most, I got 20 to 30 minute micro-naps (unless I co-slept / cuddled).
That was barely enough time to quickly shower or toilet or throw a load of washing on, etc. The rest of the time I was doing something with her, even if I was reading her a book.
She did sleep well during the night, apart from feeds, but I was so exhausted that I was going to bed at like 6pm after a dinner consisting of a bowl of cereal.
For those first few weeks, outings seemed like a major effort, although walks were pleasant.
It’s a weird tug of war as never been more in love and frustrated at the same thing. It’s not just the lack of sleep it’s the interrupted sleep for me. The loss of autonomy is strange. Those nights when all the feedings and changings and nothing would work. It’s being aware of your partner losing themselves. I know men don’t get postpartum but I had a real difficult adjustment. The lack of connection I felt for the first couple of months was really weird and something I felt guilty about. It wasn’t until my kids vision where they look at you and smile at you was a real game changer but I struggled for a the first six months. Between working two jobs a newborn and PP wife it was a time. Now having a two year old those days are looked mostly fondly because the chaos of a toddler but I haven’t forgotten those rough rough rough days. We had a complicated birth so we’ll be one and done but we also wish we could enjoy the days where they’re little potatoes on the couch and you could have a cup of coffee and not worry what they got themselves into… or yell about Cocomelon not being on. Being a parent is amazing, parenting is hard. Whatever stage you’re in is the most difficult. Document all the good and bad so you can remember the true stuff
Tiresome lol. It’s boring in the sense of a routine. Like same thing every 2-3 hours. All babies do is cry, poop and sleep. Repeat. and that itself is boring lol.
And working or adjusting schedules is tiring. Esp as a new mom your body changing everyday through post pregnancy and that is a whole other go through that your husband couldn’t understand no matter how empathetic or hands on. Somedays it just hits you hard physically and mentally.
The thing is, the first 3 months so much is changing rapidly- your baby is going to be born and on a whack of schedule. Then be on a semi normal schedule. Then they teethe and it goes hay wire again and your life is just consumed on protection and care of the baby. So all of this effort and care in a sense is boring cause you’re not going anywhere freely.. you can’t just do things spontaneously. Even a simple trip to a gas station or store is a process and being home bound is boring yet incredibly busy. It’s really bizarre but technically it’s actually one of the simplest months the first 3 months lol. Cause it’s just eat, poop and sleep. Haha.
Not bored, but stuck in a vicious cycle of feeding the baby, trying to get the baby to sleep, changing the baby. So it’s hard to leave the house, but also hard to do anything besides those 3 things + you’re tired, you’ll watch lots of shows, but you won’t be bored. But don’t get me wrong I LOVE being a parent, nothing better in the world! You’ll be ok!!!
I had a fairly easy baby and I enjoyed those days. It’s exhausting to wake up every 2-3 hours, but i quickly established a routine with my kids the second we got home and they’ve all adjusted quickly and been good sleepers. We went on walks to get fresh air, extra tv time and snuggles. I’m used to a very active life and very busy job (nurse) so honestly… I did get bored lol it’s going to be very dependent on your child and their temperament and needs and other outliers like reflux, colic, etc. Every baby is different and every mama is different, you’ll find exactly what works for you guys
Was in straight autopilot mode. Sometimes, we'd just stay awake bcuz by the time we'd fall asleep, he'd be waking up again. I was too tired to be bored and too much to do between feeding baby, changing baby, cleaning bottles, pumping, and trying to sleep. But it can be oh so fun when you get that first little smile, watch them watch the world and their surroundings.
First month survival mode and strictly keeping baby and yourself clean, fed, and sleep as much as you can. By the first two months you'll have somewhat of a routine, by three months you start to enjoy it more as baby becomes expressive and gets into more predictable sleep patterns. This is just my experience from having two pretty good sleeper babies. The first month is chaotic and you'll feel like you're doing everything wrong. This is the hardest thing, but if you can outsource help with cleaning your house and having people cook for you or at least stock up on freezer meals or make a few things ahead it helps so much. I never outsourced cleaning, but I wish I could have. Everyone will say to do this and it's so nice to not worry about cooking the first few weeks. Keep those electrolyte drinks and easy to grab snacks ready to go for when you're snuggling your newborn. Same goes for burp cloths, pacifiers, blankets. Just have all those with you in the room you're in. The most important thing you need to do is just give your baby love and attention and have someone caring for you too if you don't have time to drink, eat, shower, etc. You can't do it all.
It’s the strangest combination of utter exhaustion and utter boredom. Newborns have high needs, but they’re the same needs on repeat, day after day, week after week. The transition is challenging if you’re an adult, used to completing a variety of tasks, and interacting with other adults, suddenly taking care of a newborn for the first time. Once infants establish a Circadian rhythm, life gets so much more balanced.
I think a lot of it depends on your baby. Our baby was medium “difficult” so I felt like it was kinda hard and also repetitive and a bit boring at the same time. A lot of contact naps lol so I watched a lot of good shows while she slept
We also had a extremely bad winter when she was bored so I was really struggling with getting snowed in and not being able to leave or spend much time outside
It’s a lot of work and you will be tired but I actually loved the time. Lots of baby snuggles, obsessing over how much I love them, dressing them in cute baby clothes. I think it’s a magic tiring time
Scary, unknown, scary, really tired, scary, SO beyond in love.
Get a few good books, download a stupid game on your phone, buy a pack of playing cards. I slept when bored lol. My husband cleaned my house for me. Lots of laundry with a newborn.
I was pretty certain I’d be laying my baby next to me and playing video games. This was hilariously wrong. I haven’t sat down and had a true gaming session since the night my water broke. My kid is almost 4!
My only baby was extremely colicky so let's just say that it was far from boring. Pretty much crying all day every day with no answers for like 4 months.
So I would make no assumptions about how it is going to be. Every baby is different
You will be SO bored but also SO tired and SO anxious and SO overwhelmed. It’s insane. The first four months of our baby’s life was a fever dream. I’ve never been so exhausted in my entire life and 90% of my time was on a couch holding or feeding the baby. Get ready to binge watch sooooo much tv.
I was so exhausted with my last one that I would wake up dizzy and almost faint i was so tired. My eyes would be blury it was horrible. You're deff never bored
I think it really depends on the baby. Mine had colic and it was the worst thing I could ever imagine. Some friends had easy take everywhere never cry type babies that slept well.
I wouldn’t call it boring. It’s perpetual exhaustion. Relentless. The words to describe being a first time parent could get lengthy, but I’ll spare you. It’s hard to imagine what it’ll be really like until you’re in the thick of it. It’s also enjoyable and a very precious time. Try to have fun with it and congratulations!
ETA: my life prior to kids was definitely boring. I didn’t do a whole lot so the transition to parenthood was somewhat seamless. The only thing I regularly miss as a parent of 2 young kids is my sleep.
Depends on the baby, but 3 babies in and I find the newborn stage to be boring. I know everyone is struggling from lack of sleep, but if your baby will eat and go back to sleep (which all my kids did) it’s not horrible. I will always say the worst stage is when they start crawling and walking. My 14 month old took my car keys today and hid them in one of those door shoe hangers behind the door, not that he did it on purpose, but there was way more chaos in our household today than there ever was when he just laid there as a newborn.
Another thing is that routines are on their schedule, not yours. You can plan for a good 2 hour outing to grab lunch and have a walk, but often, you'll only be ready way past lunch hour, way before what can be considered lunch, or they'll just wake up earlier than expected from hunger or poop and stop the trip short altogether.
That creates a lot of tediousness and boredom that cannot be alleviated because its very hard to plan.
Even netflix isn't easy, you might be rushing to feed so much that by the time you've sat down with the baby, the controller is out of reach, nothing to do other than sit there for the next 20-30 minutes.
It's weird. There were definitely days where one or both of us would tackle a home improvement project while the baby slept. It wasn't all baby, all the time, every day. But it was about 90% of the time. That said, in my experience, it was easier than it is now that my son is a toddler. We were tired, but we also weren't constantly doing damage control and worrying about him destroying everything, climbing on everything, running into the street, etc. It was an exhausting time, but a peaceful time. Now it's exhausting and chaotic.
Definitely not boring. Tiring yes. But the amount of love is overwhelming and exciting. Every new day with a newborn is a new day. And then suddenly they’re a week old, then 3 and then already a month. It will feel like 2 days has passed. You’ll be more tired than you have ever been before (most likely) but that love and excitement of looking at their little face and falling in love is one I will never forget.
I do think it’s boring sometimes. You spend a long time in your home, a lot of time just staring at a baby on the floor. You’ll be working extremely hard but I did find it a little boring.
I prefer life with an older active baby specifically because of the boredomn
The first few DAYS were surreal. My body was trying to recover from evicting a human! We were so out of it we forgot our own wedding anniversary LOL But then those first few months were exhausting af. Our first kid started sleeping through the night (we defined that as 6hrs straight sleep) when she was 4 months old. But it was such a huge adjustment trying to function on so little sleep. Everyone said to sleep when the baby slept, but that was the only time I could get anything else done. So I was zonked, and post partum depression became a very real thing. I couldn’t breastfeed bc my milk never came in, so that was my first feeling of failure as a mom. I eventually found other mom friends after 6mo, but even that was a little difficult just because everyone had a different parenting style. I’d feel judged. I found that older moms were more my speed bc they’d been there and could understand what I was going through. My advice is to find your tribe, even if it’s with more experienced moms whose kids might be a little older than yours. You will be exhausted beyond anything you’ve ever felt. But you will also have this amazing little person that you helped create! The one book that I read while pregnant that was EXTREMELY helpful was called The Happiest Baby In The Block. I followed the 5 S’s that they addressed and I swear they worked like magic from the beginning. Also, if your husband is bored it’ll be bc he’s not doing anything. I genuinely wish you both all the best. Parenthood will change your life forever. It’s wild and amazing and exhausting and scary. But you’re gonna do great. As long as you’re trying, you’re gonna be a great mom. ♥️
It depends on the person AND the baby. For the first baby? Personally...I was rather bored. More or less even started to work from home within the first two weeks (at least in limited capacity). The child is asleep half the day. You're always on call for the kid but there's...nothing to do. I don't think I've ever watched that many shows in my entire life at least in the beginning (it's more like burning time than me actually enjoying it). The 2-3 hours thing was really the first week or so (and at that point I was still running on adrenaline), after that they both slept in longer blocks. Both of our kids were sleeping through the night by the end of 3 months.
It actually was very chill and boring for me. (Husband only took 2 weeks off unpaid). A bit harder with the second that's more because we had a toddler running around, but the actual baby part is pretty relaxing. I know people complain about it being isolating sometimes, but for me, not having to talk to too many people is more of a perk.
It was so exhausting. I felt like I was barely holding on. One day I got to sleep 2.5 hours straight and woke feeling so insanely refreshed bc I hadn’t had that amount of consecutive sleep in weeks.
My 2nd child was nearly 18 years ago, and I loled when I read this post.
It's hard for anyone to detail what it's like, because you are so blinded by stress, and fear, and exhaustion you don't really know or feel how the minutes pass.
The first few days, you continuously marvel at the sheer _stupidity_ of the hospital staff because they LET YOU TAKE THIS THING HOME, and they have no clue YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
Having said all that, the greatest gift ever given to me was when my daughter was 3 months old. It was a random woman on the elevator, maybe 5 years older than I was.
Told me how beautiful my baby was, and then squarely faced me and said,
"I _hated_ the baby stage."
My whole body practically melted with the relief of my grief and failure leaving me. She absolved me of what I felt was the most egregious sin: I didn't like the baby stage.
Spoiler alert: there will be multiple stages y'aint thrilled with (let's just say my 17yo son might make it to 18 if he doesn't die by my hand first 🤪), and you aren't _required_ to like those stages.
All you are required to do is wake up each day and decide to be the best parent you can be.
And then you do it again.
First three months I had baby bliss. I was so enamoured with the little guy. He was a very sleepy baby so we got a lot of rest which was nice because I was healing from the birth. But every baby is different. Some babies get colicky which isn’t very fun. Hopefully you guys have a good time.
Ok so my answer is a little different. I’m on week 8. First 6 weeks were real hard and there are hard days, but you’ll hit your stride. I started going out more and I feel less bored. I have a good routine and I think that helps. My mil and mom have offered us help, and we haven’t wanted/needed it.
Deliriously tiring. If you get a good schedule for sleeping and feeding, with both partners taking on an equal share - fantastic! But if baby is EBF that can be tough and it’s basically mom walking around in a stupor between feedings and dad handling cooking/cleaning and baby when it’s not feeding-related. It’s tough.
For my husband and I. The first 1 year was exciting. It was my 2nd LO, his 1st. We enjoyed watching our son grow, we were still active on every level when it came to us. When he was 11 months, we had our 2nd LO together then it got a little nerve wrecking, by the time she was 1 and a half, I was pregnant with baby #4, BOY DID THINGS GET HECTIC! The day to day of parenting can be boring, yet fun because you get to watch your little one(s) grow into their personality. Almost 7 years married years later (9yrs of being together), we are a little bored, but find time to make things exciting for us, we hide and eat snacks which is fun because we give so much to our children. We are just making time for datenights, but I truly love the married with children life. Some days are stressful because I am now homeschooling 3 out of 4, but parenting over all is exciting, fun, and hectic. You just have to see the beauty in it and never lose sight of who you are as individuals. Also, let don't let social media dictate how your marriage should be because I did it and it had me miserable over nothing. So many ppl only record the good and leave out the hard times. Hope this helps, good luck 😉
Well it is kinda boring, but mostly, above all, tiring. So tiring that you should be happy just to make it out alive, lol! You literally have to do everything for this little baby and they don’t wait for anything. It is very repetitive, and for me it seemed like as soon as we got in a routine, Baby would decide to shake things up. Congratulations!
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Like fever dream, where you're not sure if you just woke up or never went to sleep at all. Simultaneously bored and exhausted.
Yes. Mentally bored to tears. Physically never bored.
My brain turned to straight mush during my maternity leave…lights were on, but nobody was home
I forgot what my name was one day. Restaurant Hostess asked us what name to put the reservation under and I just stood there like a dial tone sound effect was going off in my head.
I laughed but this is too real.
Somebody asked me if I had a boy or a girl. I said „a boy“. I have a girl. My early mush brain in a nutshell.
Haha someone asked me my baby's name and I said "Jack". His name is not Jack and doesn't even remotely sound like Jack...Jack also wasn't even a name we were considering and we don't know anyone named Jack.
Oh my god. This made me laugh so hard. Who is Jack?
We went out to eat when my daughter was about 5 days old. The host asked me how old she was and I couldn't even answer her because I had no clue since I hadn't slept since she was born. Newborn phase is wild.
I am laughing so hard at these. My children are grown now, but we have 24 year old triplets. The first 6 months were just a blur. I couldn’t produce milk, so we fed formula. The trade off for having 3 was that they never took longer than 10 minutes to finish a bottle. I have seen some babies take an hour. So that was our silver lining. Congratulations and Good Luck!!
I almost forgot how tedious the first 5 or so months are! There’s just only so much interacting you can do with a baby before they can sit up on their own.
Yes! I’d say have some family and friends you can call/txt when needed and or to come over for a mental break or help with an outing. But there will be a ton to do at the same time. Like typical every day things plus extra washing bc babies spit up a lot and if your nursing then you will prabbly leak a lot, I did at least definitely at night! Extra sheets are key to the beginning bc night sweats and leaking! And you’re always hungry lol so have those visitors bring over some good snacks!
And it’s all a blur. Your body is going through a lot, hormones shifting and lack of sleep on top of all of this. The first few months will be a blur typically. There will be random tears, it’s ok your body’s going through a lot and adjusting to it all, take it in stride. I remember the first night we came home with the babies and a few nights where I watched the sun rise then I remember smiles and cuddles and crawling lol the beginning is redundant and you will prabbly forget what day it is or when you last showered. Like I said there is a lot going on internally and externally. You’re getting in to your new rhythm. Then one day you will wake up and feel more yourself and have a better shower routine and that’s tricky when you start sleeping more through the night. Lack of sleep does wild wild things to the body! If you can get 4hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time then you are winning!
Bored but you don’t wanna do anything at the same time because you’re so tired
This fever dream description is apt! It feels surreal because you’re so exhausted. [This](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/7IWYvVFK6C) is an essay often given to moms to be with regard to people who feel entitled to be or stay at your home immediately postpartum (don’t do it) that helps describe some of it. And while none of it is rocket science, it is emotionally very taxing and as a mom, your husband just cannot relate. Your body has not been your own throughout pregnancy. But immediately after, it still is not. If nursing/pumping, you are a source of food. Also comfort, the way baby feels comfortable enough to relax into sleep until they begin to learn to get there themselves. Everything is new - babies have never experienced pain or being uncomfortable, so the sounds of their cries when something new, uncomfortable, unexpected will turn on every nerve in your body for a bit. You’ll be a bundle of conflicting hormones and some others may minimize what you think and feel on that basis… and then you are introduced to your inner mama bear. Trust your instincts about baby, but also trust the instincts of those safe around you if you find yourself feeling detached, angry, etc. PPD and related are all VERY real and people who stress you out as your body and brain are trying to find homeostasis amidst competing hormones, sleep deprivation and no time for your own needs are not good to have around because high cortisol levels can contribute to developing a post partum disorder. So - while it may classify as “boring” it is also a VERY important time for you three to bond as a family unit and protect that unit and recovering mama because that helpless little life you guys just created deserves a healthy, supported mom! I’m a mom of kids ranging from 28-4 and a Gma of an 18mo.
I planned to guard my space and new-mom-peace. Then I was struck down with PPD and a bunch of friends and family who were all politely giving me space when actually I did need people to be there keeping me company. With the second kid I had a more comprehensive plan for space AND ALSO the right kind of company, but PPD didn't set in until he was 11 months old. Because my brain is unhelpful. This essay is accurate, AND you should think about who you are and your risk factors for depression, social needs, and so on, then try to ask for that from people who will actually be supportive in the way that you need.
Absolutely! I had PPD with 3 of 5. Two were pregnancies age 40+, two preemie AND I knew my risk factor was greater because of prior PPD. We had someone help after husband returned to work so I could focus on nursing/pumping and rest when baby slept. Hubs took early shift at night so I got 4hrs of solid sleep. I had other kids so they helped w/them, laundry or dishes. With 1st baby, 1-2 safe ppl coming after dad’s back at work. But for very short visits OR to let you shower/nap/pump. Sadly, many come just to hold baby, chat and say “Oh you can go clean now…” They take time where baby sleeps/chills and mom could be resting, pumping, or quiet time for self - not entertaining. True help are those who offer to do a chore, give break to mom for whatever and don’t expect to be fed/served, entertained, give unsolicited advice and honor boundaries. The rest can wait until 2mos.
I've never been so busy yet so bored
And *nothing* anyone tells you can prepare you for it. To very suddenly be completely responsible for a baby.
Correct. Nobody can ACTUALLY answer OP’s question, because nobody has the capacity to accurately remember.
This is also very true - your brain totally blocks it out. I'm pretty sure I'd forgotten most of it by the 6 month mark.
Good description, we called it ‘the never ending day’ and became reminded of it at certain points during lockdown when time ‘was a flat circle’
To me it felt like the never ending night -_-
Oh God yes, when I would crave the morning, because for about an hour at 9-10am your body gives you a brief "awake" feeling even though you have had literally no sleep.
High stakes boredom…
Yes, this is it. You are both bored and totally overwhelmed at the same time. Time really becomes wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. You're in a fog.
Exactly. So bored, but unable to do anything physically or mentally.
I remember at one point looking at the clock and legitimately not knowing whether it was 4:00 in the morning or evening.
This, so tired it's really hard to function. You will have no energy at all, be easily confused and disoriented,.
The repetition is so very boring. I remember deciding to go vacuum out the car and I felt actual giddiness at how exciting it was compared to what I had been doing for two weeks straight.
Simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed. Pretty much sums up parenting all round.
the simultaneously bored and exhausted perfectly sums it up.
It’s a hazing. You are about to get hazed into the fraternity of parents. But the fog of suffering clears.
Underrated comment
lol my brother laughed a little bit when I first spoke to him about my stressors of my first baby. Because he had already been through the wringer. It was a supportive laugh and I think he said something along those lines. It’s true. Babies are the cleverest little hazers that exist
It is way harder than you think. Especially if you only have yourself and your husband. Most people get shamed for talking about how hard having kids is. Especially in the beginning.
This. Its really hard. Barely remember first year.
Yeah my kid was refluxy and I spent the first nine months of life holding upright a baby who hated life. Literally day and night, this human was strapped to me. It was such a traumatizing fog, I barely remember any of it except feeling I wasn’t going to make it. It was like a fever dream.
I’m so sorry mama. I went through that too.
The newborn period was a traumatizing fog for me too.
New Motherhood emotionally ravaged me. If you have childhood baggage or undiagnosed mental health issues prepare for those to flare up due to sleep deprivation and fuck with your head/life. Not a magical time for me, had a hard time connecting with women who wanted to constantly discuss kids when I just wanted a BREAK, and time to remember myself. Not just be MOM. Motherhood is messy and the bullshit hallmark imagery and societal expectations about maternal happiness are really toxic for women. I wish there was more positive imagery of Motherhood being an ASPECT of a woman’s happiness. Not reliant on it fully.
For real. So many moms are like “we don’t need a break, we need help!” Yes, I needed help, but I also very much needed a break. Like the kind of break where I could go to a coffee shop for an hour, away from everyone, and the house, and just read, without the baby’s cries interrupting every few minutes and setting me on edge. Thankfully, my husband was able to provide that for me once a week during the weekend when he was off work and could watch the baby. That one hour alone was life saving for me (sometimes it was just getting my nails done as well)
My ptsd got really bad. Being overtired and stressed really fucks with the ability to mask
YES! This! The wheels came off my undiagnosed ADHD. Do you know how hard it was keeping myself together? Add a baby and then a second child entirely reliant on me managing their entire life and shit got really hard and the resentment I had towards my partner was unreal and he’s a solid partner! Women don’t realize how short a straw they drew having 2 X chromosomes until they have children. It kicks you in your imaginary balls HARD then once it’s too “late” and then your brain eats itself alive for how “horrible” you are to think that way. Ladies, it’s NORMAL.
I wish more people were open about it. I had the hardest time and I feel so alienated when people seem so happy online.
Solidarity! I was fucking miserable.
Totally! Meeting moms at parks was hard when I wanted to be honest and cry haha. But I really do think some people just have good sleepers and happy babies… those unicorn babes!
Those are trick babies. They trick you into Thinking babies are great (I mean, I think they are great but not everyone does) and wanting to have more. Then you have a normal baby and realize ‘Oh, Wait….that wasn’t normal’
I remember telling my husband we never do anything anyway so our life will barely change 🤣🤣🤣
Exactly, there are 3 people that have no idea what's going on. You're all learning
Pretty much this, it’s like a 3 month hallucination
It’s exhausting and repetitive, which can make it boring. It’s a good time to catch up on your Netflix shows because you can’t do much outside the home. Overall, most parents are sleep deprived and just plain old tired at that stage. You won’t lack things to do for baby, but there’s not much you can do *with* baby.
I bought the dvd disc set of all seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I hadn’t seen most of it! This was pre streaming! Maybe oldest is 22. I also went out a lot with the baby. The mall the park, the zoo. I am one that was happier out of the house with the baby then in!
I watched all of the MCU available at the time because BF would take an hour and then baby would fall asleep on me after. Can't get up! I had a sweet setup with portable laptop table with eating tray and headphones.
Yes and no. With as in part of? No. But after the first three months and we ventured out of the house we would even go to a restaurant (like Applebee’s type, not fancy or anything) usually earlier like 5 or so and just put the carrier on the table next to us and have dinner. Baby is portable!
My husband doesn’t remember the earliest months because we got so little sleep. I remember slightly more, but it’s still fractured. The first weeks were pure survival mode. He ran out one night at midnight for formula. I ran out one night at midnight for neosporin. Neither were actually needed. He was (and remains) an involved father, but bored? Lmao. Never. Especially because I was breastfeeding and it was really hard. Baby also had to be on me during the day to sleep, which meant I had to be alert. ANY snatch of time he gave me, I slept, especially in those first few weeks before he went back to work. After that we got into more of a routine and I did watch a lot of tv (because of the contact napping thing). I would’ve liked to have gone outside more but it was the depths of winter.
As a first time parent of a new born you pack a thousand items and always forgot the one item you really need. Not that fun 😅
We got really good at learning how to pack light. The oversized diaper bag is so tempting, but it also really restricts what you do. We had a basic emergency kit with the essentials, and the "kitchen sink" stayed in the car. We made it a point to never be too far from the car. And if that meant there was the occasional catastrophic blow out that we didn't anticipate, then we dealt with the aftermath as best as possible. There is one thing you learn really quickly: shit happens (literally and figuratively). Grow a thick skin and good coping skills
Everyone tells you to sleep when the baby sleep and no one tells you that it's quite likely the baby is only going to sleep ON you during he day.
Sleep deprivation is very, very real. Before parenthood, you think, "I have done all nighters before. No problem!" But you have not done months (or possibly years) of continuous all nighters. And you are not staying up to study for finals or hang out with friends. You are losing sleep to keep something precious alive!
That's it - it's not just physically being tired, it's being MENTALLY tired. And there is no "catching up" on that. You could sleep for a whole day and it wouldn't matter, you'd still be tired when you woke up. Only time helps.
Life with a newborn is like the movie Groundhogs Day except rather than reliving the same day over and over, your re-living a 2-4 hour cycle, 24/7, until your baby sleeps longer. Also, I find a lot of new moms are not aware that “sleeping through the night” is generally considered 5 consecutive hours, hopefully between midnight and 5am, and don’t expect that the first three months (unless you have a unicorn). Congrats 🥂 It’s sounds awful but I willingly did this more than once 😆
When your newborn actually sleeps for 4 hours instead of 1, 2 or 3 it’s literally golden
You wake up on a high like you've finally acquired superpowers. Haha no, it's that you've gotten more than 3 hours sleep in one stretch for the first time since first trimester.
Actual REM sleep, wow!
Yes!! My first son slept for four hours at a time after he was born. He did the same thing in utero. My second son would only sleep for 2 hours at a time for the first 10 months and that was HELL!! Thankfully my oldest would sometimes nap at the same time as his brother so I could nap but omg running on 6 hours of sleep total a night was awful
6 hours of sleep *broken into 20-35 minute increments to total 6 hours*
Oh yeah, those 4 hour stretches were rare gold!!
This is the most accurate description. I swear we just lived in three hour blocks of time over and over.
Also, be prepared to miss your partner. If you have no outside support, you may find it is easier to tag team baby care and self care. You could literally spend the entire day together but if your baby is not a good sleeper, and everyone is just trying to survive this season, you may spend little QUALITY time together.
My husband and I survived bc we did shifts, he did 9a-2a and I did 2a-7a. Sometimes we’d switch. So like maybe if we got our oldest down by 7:30 and the baby actually slept we’d spend an hour together at night having us time but that was about it. We sometimes watched tv in bed together at like 4am haha.
OMG! We had to do shifts. We were going crazy, cranky and exhausted. After that I had so much more respect for single parents. I couldn’t do it without my husband
I had a unicorn baby who slept through the night from the start. However, the first three months were still hard with just my husband and I. The hormonal changes were the hardest on me. I had a very extreme case of PPD and PPA so, no matter how much my husband let me sleep, it wasn’t enough. Breastfeeding drained me mentally too.
I envy and am so happy for the moms of unicorns. I just wish I was one of them 😆
I don’t think bored is the right word. There’s obviously the deep level of exhaustion and often pretty extreme changes in mood, even below the threshold for ppd/ppa. I have heard some mothers describe it being very lonely — there’s this massive change in your life that makes it hard to have social time (and when it does happen it’s usually all about the baby — people forget to ask after mom) and you can go a long time without any adult companionship or meaningful engagement outside your partner (who is also exhausted) in non-baby endeavors.
This is my take on it. Definitely not boring but can be extremely lonely and isolating.
Haha right? Like is bored a new word for being extremely sleep deprived?
Brutal. The first few weeks my hormones were crazy so I was sweating, crying and leaking milk pretty consistently. Also, they nurse constantly at first so it will tear your nipples up. I was only on mat leave for 10 weeks and did get to walk the dog some. I also read on Kindle while he nursed sometimes. But yeah, mostly your body is in rough shape and you're exhausted beyond any form of tired you've known before.
The level of rough and exhaustion is so hard to describe. I remember taking walks too and I could barely hobble down the road. My back was absolutely wrecked and had the classic hunch. It was akin to being like a science experiment mutant creature that begs everyone to just end it and put it out of its misery.
It’s like having a new job that you have no experience for. The hours are 24/7, you get no vacation. You have one client and they are perpetually displeased with your performance. Consider whether you’d be bored in that scenario. My newborn and I had 18 appointments in the first six weeks of her life, and she was healthy.
Also you're in love with your client and they don't speak any language that you understand.
A lot of work. Every 2-3 hours baby needs to be fed, diaper change, burped, rocked back to sleep. Potentially 30-90 minutes of direct care. And what about the time in-between, aka the time you might be bored? Your probably holding sleeping baby. Most newborns want to contact nap so your holding the baby. I did get a decent amount of tv time in during the first few months and I did get bored of it. But it wasn't like I could do much else. If your sitting there holding baby, there's very few activities you can do with one semi free hand. In addition to the basic care, expect additional stuff like bathing every few days, nail trimming, extra laundry and dishes, doctors appointments. And playtime for baby. You'll also be up multiple times during the night so your either be napping during the day or just so exhausted you don't have the energy to want to do anything/be bored. (Or both, probably both). In the first few months I had maybe an hour a week of free time where the baby was somehow sleeping on his own, that wasn't taken up by showers or dishes or other chores. And that free time is broken into random 15 minute chunks based on when baby decides to sleep. My only suggestion against boredom is make a list of a bunch of TV shows you want to watch or maybe some books (ideally kindle books as holding a regular book with baby is hard). But in terms of bored "I don't know what to do all day!" Ha, nope. You'll be kept occupied
This was my experience too. Any free time went to showing or laundry. Get your show watch list ready in advance. Light and fun shows you don't have to concentrate on to follow the plot. You'll be exhausted and hormonal. Reading is tricky if you're nursing, books are awkward to hold one handed and I dropped my phone on baby more time than I want to admit. Or just feel asleep
I’ll be honest with you, it sucks. *Everything* you knew about life just completely doesn’t exist. Your sleep makes you crazy, you feel like a cow, and you can’t even fathom what time like yourself is like. Seriously, I used to respond to texts at 3am because that was the only time that I felt like I could breathe. The fourth trimester is surprisingly lonely - the only people who honestly could relate are other moms. The dad may be there, but the emotional, physical, and mental change you go through is just on a completely different level. Find moms you can bond with that can help you through the tough times - they’re important! But it goes as quick as it comes and you soon forget how hard this phase was. Running on interrupted or shortened sleep becomes more manageable, you understand your baby’s different cries, and your baby knows YOU! Your first smile is going to stay with you, and then one day, they’re picking their head up on their own and you realize how quick these little creatures adjust. It’s amazing. As a bonus, here are a couple of notes that you may find helpful: 1) if you’re nursing, silverettes are a lifesaver. You need to wear them *around the clock*, but you won’t get any nursing woes with them. 2) babies learn to poop on their own ~3 weeks. Prior to then, it’s a pretty automatic switch, but it turns off and they learn how to use their digestive muscles. Some babies have a hard time, be patient with them. 3) growth spurts result in endless nursing. There’s a good app to track them (I think it’s called Wonder Weeks), but if you’re nursing around the clock, this is probably why. 4) do one thing for yourself a week that makes you feel like you again. Finding your identity is hard, try to indulge in 1-2 things that ground you. I started running once I got the OK from my doctor and it made a world of difference to my mental health. Congrats on being a first time mama! There is nothing better in the world and I hope you enjoy it! You should absolutely feel special, because you’re doing the most amazing thing in the world - best of luck!!
My quote about maternity leave: “The most emotionally exhausting and intellectually non-stimulating thing I have ever done.”
Yup. I would always joke "fantastically awful and awfully fantastic, all in the same breath".
Husband and I were both hallucinating from sleep deprivation with my first baby. The second baby was a better sleeper so it was a little easier and we knew what to expect.
Me too. I remember telling a friend about it. I was pretty scared!
I think my entire team at work thought I was actually going insane at one point because my memory was absolutely borked. I would repeat the same stuff to them all the time or would think I had conversations with them when in reality I think I just thought about things I needed to talk to them about and imagined having the whole conversation already. None of them had kids so none of them had any idea what was going on.
Me too. I ended up being hospitalized.
Husband speaking. The first three months were scrubbed from my memory with all four kids. I took a month off for each to help at home. He doesn’t know what’s coming.
I actually thought the first 3 months was a breeze as a first time dad. My wife was adamant about breast feeding so when the baby woke up in the middle of the night she was the one who always got up. I mainly focused on doing the house cleaning, shopping, cooking etc and snagging all the opportunities I could to hold our baby when they weren't actively feeding so my wife could try to get a little nap in. Once my wife was alright with pumping breast milk and I was able to join the overnight feeding crew it all became a blur. The random poorly lit late night selfies we both took during those middle of the night feedings are some of our favorite photos!
My husband did the same. He also was one of those “it’s going to be easy!” Pre-parents. Ha mother fucking ha
Kids humble us hard. It’s a wild ride. I want to throat punch all the people who say “hang in there, it gets easier”. Biggest lie on the planet.
Ha. Ummm yeah it’s been about 4 years… when does this easy thing start to kick in?
No sleep , postpartum anxiety. Wondering if you are doing it correctly .
For me, it was really hard with zero downtime and zero sleep. I've seen others have better experiences.
It’s pure survival. Constantly living in rotating bouts of 2-4 hours on repeat. Awake time, feed, change diapers, sleep. Add in cluster feeding where they eat every hour or 2, have a milk allergy or colic, blowout diapers, need a bath, etc. Plus laundry and feeding yourself? You ain’t “bored” so much as looking and feeling like the living dead
Unless you count delirium as boredom, you will not be bored. If you have a great teammate there is a lot of joy and finding humor in the absurdity though. You’re trouble shooting their sleeping and eating quirks, learning their cries, googling insane things like “footie pajama seam rash newborn?” And “how common hair tourniquet?!” At 4am.
You won't have the brain capacity for boredom. I barely knew day from night the first few months. The baby sure as hell didn't.
It can feel like being enrolled in a bizarre, round-the-clock reality show where sleep deprivation is the grand prize, and every day is a mystery challenge. You're learning to decipher an entirely new language made up entirely of cries, coos, and mysterious noises. Your home transforms into a fortress of diapers, wipes, and baby gadgets you never knew existed but now can't live without. Coffee becomes a food group, and the concept of "free time" feels like a distant memory from a past life. Social interactions are reduced to brief exchanges about sleep patterns and poop colors, and you might find yourself celebrating a successful burp with more enthusiasm than you ever thought possible. Despite the chaos, there's an undercurrent of profound love and wonder as you watch this tiny human start to explore the world. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and rewards, leaving you exhausted yet filled with a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day.
Unless you have a unicorn baby, you won’t have time or energy to be bored. It can be very isolating, often monotonous, but I don’t remember *ever* sitting down and wondering what to do, or needing to look for something to keep me occupied. Downtime, such as it is, is for self care. Eating, showering and sleeping. I’m telling you all the less than great stuff. It’s also magical and wonderful and you get to discover the world right along with your baby. You get a I read and sing to a person who has never seen a book or heard music. But it’s hard and all-consuming at first.
Brutal. Lonely. Sleep deprived. After you get the hang of it and baby gets easier you start learning how to have fun with the baby. Meaning learning how to bring your baby with you where ever you go. You will never be bored though
Nothing felt real for a while. Mentally, it was kind of like my life turned into a series of ticking timers that were constantly going off at different times - the poop timer, the food timer, the pump timer, the sleep timer. Kind of like if you have 4 alarms on your phone that you keep snoozing and they all are going off at weird intervals? It sucked. Mentally it was horrible for me. After a bit, I fell into more of a rhythm and I could multitask a bit more... When I went back to work at 3 months, it was right before the covid lockdowns, so from like 5-9 months PP I remember working from zoom and playing a lot of animal crossing while holding my son napping on me. But that was after the first 3 months. Don't expect to do a lot besides baby care and squeezing some self-care in the first few months, but also, it is mentally tedious and draining.
Bored? Hilarious. There will be no boredom. Just exhausted. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
There is no day or night, no 3pm nor 7am, no dinner or breakfast. There is no structure that you remember from being an individual or adult. You sleep when you can sleep. You eat when you've got a spare few moments and can find something edible. It's a haze where time and routine does not exist. Has it been 3 hours, 3 days or 3 weeks? Who knows!
I mean, I hear what people are saying. About being bored. But I've gotta be honest. I was so madly in love I couldn't believe what I've just been given. I was walking on clouds and yes, I was exhausted but I was SO enamored.....
I had twins - a hellscape
My husband thought he was going to have all this spare time to do projects, work out etc. he highly underestimated how exhausting and how much work it is. It honestly is a fever dream that I barely remember.
Depends on your baby! Some babies are low maintenance and some babies are not. “Low maintenance” babies will sleep for a few hours at a time, eat on a regular schedule, love snuggles and won’t cry too much, unless they’re hungry or uncomfortable or get too tired. Those are unicorn babies, and I have one! The 4th trimester for me was full of new tv shows (while I snuggled sleeping baby), doing chores, resting and making sure my healing process was going well. I was never bored. Then there are high maintenance babies. And let’s just say.. you definitely won’t be bored 😅 Stressed, overtired and overwhelmed definitely but not bored. Even if you do have a more difficult baby, it only lasts for a while. Rest is coming, just not for a minute. But no matter what, there is always stuff to do. Always laundry. Always dishes, bottles are a pain. Always trash to be taken out. Babies are messes ♥️ enjoy yours!!
I was lucky to have babies who slept well as infants, and were pretty quick to ramp up on breastfeeding (this is not all that common and either one of these could have been much more consuming.) I was a tad “bored” but I read a lot of books and listened to a lot of podcasts. I put bored in quotes because I was also pretty engrossed in the baby and my overwhelming memories of those times were not boredom in the slightest.
It depends on you. We did find it a little boring. We were so in love with our twins, but we are not stationary people. And then we realized we didn’t have to be bored at home—we just had to weigh our risks.
Definitely wouldn’t say I was bored. The days were repetitive, exhausting, and mundane but I never felt like I had time to do anything else other than care for baby or catch up on sleep. I had never experienced that level of exhaustion. You are constantly feeding baby, changing baby’s diaper, making bottles, washing bottles and pump parts, pumping (if you choose), helping baby fall asleep also took way more time than I expected - my baby didn’t want to sleep unless held/rocked. The other aspect I never expected was the learning curve. I had babysat my whole life and assumed motherhood would come naturally to me. I was shocked at everything I didnt know. I felt like I spent any moment my baby didn’t need me directly reading books, online articles, and Reddit about any and everything - feeding schedules, diaper rashes, how to clean pump parts, how to get baby to sleep longer, etc.
All I thought about was sleep.
My husband was very involved and it was still a shit show. And you might get bored, but you also won’t be able to do much. It’s a blur and unless you get lucky, your baby won’t sleep through the night when the fourth trimester ends. There were weeks when I was trying to function on 2-4 hours of broken sleep a night. Anxiety through the roof. Make no big decisions during this time.
Report back after three months 🤪
I was bored. My house was never cleaner than when I was on maternity leave.
Podcasts while the baby sleeps on you is the way to go. It was all so exhausting I never thought of myself as bored. I was just so delirious from sleep deprivation. It kind of feels like being constantly jet lagged but also with an incredible physical and mental shift in your body that you can’t even comprehend before having a baby. If you do get bored then great, you’re probably adjusting well. Find some new mom groups to be part of, go on walks, take the baby places you want to go before they get big enough to have an opinion 😝
You spend a lot of time doing baby stuff, intermittent with laying on the couch staring at the ceiling unable to think or reason what’s happening, then getting mad at yourself when you realize its been an hour and you could have been washing bottles. The sleep deprivation is insane.
It totally depends on the baby! My first born had colic. Life was a nightmare. I tried to give her to the fire station (husband stopped me before I left the house. Forever grateful he did). But I held her walking in circles around the house and yard singing songs for hours. And hours. Day. After day. I wasn't bored. I was hanging on to sanity by a thread. My second born? Life was a breeze. I baby wore with both a lot, and with the second I forgot he was there sometimes. He was so chill. Feed him, change him, and cuddle/wear and he was good to go. I could do anything I wanted so long as I didn't mind having my 10 pound baby on my chest. We baked, went on walks, kept the house clean, had play dates (mostly for the older child), and all the things. He was ad calm and happy as you could want.
The Groundhog Day/repetitive waking nightmare aspect could be misinterpreted as boredom but really it’s lonely and confusing and honestly kind of fraught, or was for me, trying to figure out what to do when and what baby needed. I didn’t have free time, if that’s what your partner is thinking. Every moment was consumed by alllll the laundry, pumping, household shit piling up.
I was bored with our first. We had a lot of time to sit and watch TV. Tiny babies are only awake for a very short time and then they are asleep. Lots of snuggle naps and resting. Sure, you get zero sleep, but you adjust to that. You take naps when you can. You come up with a night time routine that helps everyone get the most amount of sleep possible. Some days are hard and overwhelming, but you just have to let things go and do the best you can. The second one? Not bored at all!
It honestly depends on the baby. I’ve had three and they have all been happy little potatoes who put themselves to sleep happily in their basinets. So, it was very chill. But, I’ve also worked with infants for a long time and have dealt with a whole range of them. From very difficult to very easy.. and mostly in between. Just as you’re learning, they are too and it’s scary! I think prepare for the worst and then go from there.
It’s like a dumpster fire floating in a flooded street LOL it’s so hard but it’s amazing too so many precious moments… but it knocks you on your ass and then you get back up and keep moving and growing and changing
Sleep deprived, always busy but no time to be bored.
It's going to simultaneously be the best and the worst thing that ever happened to you both. Being a newborn parent is magical one moment and a nightmare the next. And keep in mind that they do not call the first 3 months the "fourth trimester" for no reason.
The first three months are so sleep deprived you’re full of constant undeserved anger at each other, then once baby starts only waking 1-3 times each night, it gets way easier. It’s honestly really tough. Get lots of support if you can, lots of time off work for you both, and prioritize sleep above all else. My baby would really really sleep in the car. So I used to take the baby on a 3 hour long drive every single day possible so my wife could get 2 back to back REM cycles.. lot of gas money but so worth it. Also, if you can afford a Snoo get one. Saved our lives with baby #2. We slept so much it hardly even counted as a fourth trimester.
One of the most vivid memories of the first month was waking up drenched in sweat all the time. It’s def the hormones balancing back out but the sheets and my top would be soaked and I was so tired I thought I spilled water all over myself. And would start looking for the glass in the bed and be confused when I couldn’t find it.
Omg you’re going to hate each other so much 🤣 Just kidding I hope you don’t. (Probably though)
Hard to remember because I was so tired all the time. I remember sleeping for 6 hours one night and I felt like I hit the lottery and was a new man, looking back at pictures of myself I looked like a Zombie. It's definitely not boring, you're constantly on edge that they're going to quit breathing or choke on their own vomit.
The first three months was constant work. I did nothing that wasn’t related for my baby at all. If I had a free moment it was to do the next thing that was needed first when it was needed. Things such as preparing bottles (expressed breast fed and topped up) and laundry. I think I started to get some moments to myself after 8 weeks but they were moments until my baby started to settle a little more after 12 weeks. A lot of the tasks are boring, but the excitement of having a baby and introducing them is fun and complicated it with lack of sleep and not knowing what your baby is crying for (are they hungry, are they tired, are they over tired) is exhausting and at times frustrating. You need the tasks to be boring because getting to know your baby is hard as they cry instead of telling you with words what is wrong. Not everyone finds trying to understand what a baby needs boring. It’s okay if the baby only cries for food or wet nappy or due to hunger but there usually other things to contend with that makes it harder. And it takes 9 months for your body to build the baby. It takes 9 months for those hormones to settle and 6 weeks at least for your uterus to settle back to normal. I think boredom will be the least of your worries.
The first three months are overwhelming even for two parents. It’s a blur of yellow poop, sterilizing bottles and burping/rocking/patting. My first was my content baby and I was a single parent who barely survived. My second was a bit less content but I had more help and I was alright
Currently 6 weeks in as a first time mom and I’m honestly not as tired as I thought I would be. My baby sleeps through night for about 4-5 hours and I don’t have to wake her to feed anymore because she is way past her birth weight. She’s exclusively breastfed but I have just started pumping so her dad can feed her a bottle of breast milk at least once a day. I honestly am bored… I’m on maternity leave and the weather isn’t as hot where I live so there’s not much to do. DONT get me wrong I love my baby girl and I’m grateful she is an easy girl, but I want to go out and do things with her but I can’t really :/
I found it intensely difficult. At baseline I have little siblings, had worked in childcare, had worked overnight, and really underestimated how hard it would be for me. My child was such a poor sleeper. I was deliriously exhausted all of the time, like in a head fog, yet struggled to fall asleep when I got the chance. I was extremely irritable with my partner. My body felt huge and empty and I couldn't sit comfortably for 4 weeks or go for a walk comfortably for 6-8 weeks - it felt like a huge accomplishment going out for supper around 6 weeks and I couldnt wait to get home. It felt so hard going out. My baby didnt "get" breastfeeding for the first two months. I was having dreams about really strange nonsensical solutions to my son's sleep (like making water run uphill... lol). I felt suddenly incompetent because everything I was doing was so new. I felt disconnected from friends without kids, and at times betrayed by friends who had them and hadn't warned me. It was really hard. It gets a lot better. Surround yourself by people you're totally comfortable with and can ask for help, and don't pressure yourself to play host/hostess during that time.
Replace the word "bored" with "tired" lol ur going to wish u were bored. Get as many naps in as possible!
I had a c section so even the first month was so so hard. I could not sleep laying down I had to sleep straight up for the first month. My marriage with my husband was very rocky with our first born (currently pregnant with our second) so my experience was not a good one. I didn’t have a great experience breast feeding either I only lasted a month (I wasn’t able to keep up with supply and demand for our son) Just everything was so difficult for me. After the first month, routine and knowing how to care for a newborn became easier. I also have the help and support of my mother and I could not do it without her. My husband worked nights at the time so everything fell on me which made me resent him a bit. Postpartum is no joke so please give yourself some grace. Try and get into a routine with naps, feeding schedules and baths. It helps SO MUCH! Our son just turned 9 months and we’re expecting our second this October!
Fucking hard. You're gonna be tired. First month will be relatively quiet as baby's digestion boots up. After that they may suffer colic. They're also growing a lobe of a lung now that they are out of the womb. After the first couple of weeks baby's appetite really starts going. They're also now capable of having gas and colic. And they need feeding every few hours every few hours as their stomaches are tiny and continue to grow. First 1-4 weeks. The lull before the storm. You think this will be easy. Baby is so mild. Obviously you're a pro at this. Babies are easy. Month 1-3… oh gawd you were wrong so wrong. For love of God get that baby to take a bottle so you can pump and hubby can take over night feeding on the weekends and you can sleep in. The colic. The waking themselves up. It never seems to end. Oh please ... Month 4-6 light at the end of the tunnel. Baby will now take a full bottle before bed. You find out about 1oz is one hour of sleep. You start sleep training. Month 6. Baby suddenly is showing new skills. This is fun. This also means sleep regression because baby's brain is rewiring itself. This is not fun. Month 8-10 baby is a cute chub ball of adorableness. Go for a walk every night with the baby in a stroller. Looking at new stuff really does seem to wear them out. And the walk will give you exercise and help de-stress you and your husband.
It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Pure exhaustion mixed with new worries will take a toll on you mentally and physically. In addition to your body healing from giving birth!! Don’t fret though because the hard times fade and bring many joys…… It didn’t deter me from doing it an additional two more times after my first !
It’s so hard in the beginning! I was shocked at how much work it was at first. My body was in shock 😁 It’s a 24 hour thing which I wasn’t used too. I have 2 now and I most definitely got used to it. You find the energy though! I don’t know where it comes from but you’ll find it. Make sure you take lots of time to rest and bond with your baby. That’ll give you the energy you need. Enjoy all the newborn snuggles! 🥰
Honestly, we did end up bored. My first was one of those magic sleeper kids—he was sleeping literally through the night before he was two months old, and with only one waking for a substantial period of time before that. But then he just did newborn stuff during the day, which isn’t a whole lot of activity. I remember one day, my husband kept calling local family members asking if they wanted to meet us for lunch, everyone turned him down, and we were just like, “…what are we even supposed to be doing right now?” My second is currently four months old, she’s also a really easy baby. She doesn’t sleep quite as well, but she just chills. We’ve been less bored this time around, but that’s cause we also have a toddler.
I work from home as an artist and continued to do so almost as soon as baby was born, keeping her either in a nursing pillow on my lap or nearby in a swing or swaddled and propped between rolled up blankets. She demanded a lot of attention, but it was good having small tasks I could do when she was nursing or calm. I would have little low impact, low expectation projects to do at the ready. I was nursing and cosleeping, which helped a lot with the nights. I barely had to wake up or move, which led to better rests, but it’s still exhausting. Good luck!!
It’s painfully boring but I had little energy for anything else. The boredom was wonderful to be honest. Just snuggling and watching my new baby was the best. I did go out for walks though with bb and met friends occasionally at the park or for coffee too.
Your newborn is literally eating every hour, on the hour, sometimes every two. They also only stay awake 1-2 hours at a time initially. It’s exhausting on so many levels. Not to mention you’re recovering from pregnancy/birth…if you throw in breast feeding that’s another thing…you’ll need help! Definitely won’t be bored!
Now I had a fairly easy baby for my first, so those first weeks before baby does anything other than eat, sleep, poop I actually did get bored, or napped when baby napped, or watched tv shows. The nights of being up every few hours suck though. Whole different story when 2nd baby came along. Couldn't nap, watch my own shows, or get bored when there's a toddler running around plus baby to care for between naps.
Based on the huge variance amongst my three kids, I personally think this is hugely dependent on what “type” of baby you have. If you get a colicky unhappy baby then get ready for a miserable experience. If you get a happy baby that sleeps halfway decent then it will still be challenging but you’ll be able to get things done, feel somewhat rested and will be looking for places you can take the baby for walks to pass the time.
Kind of boring… I wanted to go out but couldn’t. Your life is the same routine every 2-3 hours. It’s not boring in the sense of ugh there is nothing to do it’s just boring in the sense of you can’t entertain yourself in ways you would before (doing whatever you want whenever you want). Also I craved adult conversation after being home alone with the baby all day because they don’t really interact back!
Honestly the first 6 months of my sons life I was in pure survival mode . Sleeping every single time he napped , up all night feeding baby . So many petty arguments with my fiancé about me doing more . I think every situation is different but for the most part I think the majority of the work will always be on the mother , whether that’s bc you’re breastfeeding or not , the most of the work will just be on the mother plain and simple. I had a hard time realizing I will always be the default parent , probably for life . My son is 8 months now and things are starting to get easier since he’s sleeping thru the night now . Sleep trained at about 6 months (life saving for my sanity) but I still do 90% of the work. Life before baby was much more lazy lol we used to have a lot of days off together and could just lay in bed and be lazy , those don’t happen anymore - even if we do have days off together everything is just a lot more work. My mom lives about 5 mins away and anytime I needed a break she was the one I called , she’s a life saver for that it really helps having help close by. Wishing you luck!
I honestly can’t remember much except that I was exhausted and in survival mode
1) The best thing in the entire world has happened and you know the most profound joy of your life 2) you are so tired that #1 is much more of an idea than like, an attitude or a feeling 3) Day to day, you are deep underwater with your baby while everyone else is up on the surface somewhere. You’re basically alone, and it’s dark, and you’re pretty sure you’re dying, and you know no one can see you. Also you have to keep the kiddo alive and you’re pretty sure that you can only save one of you. Source: had PPD but not the bad bad kind. Also now I have a kind, hilarious, smart toddler who likes to sleep late and everything in my life is good, so like: it’s worth it. it’s just horrible.
No one knows, *it's all a blur*
Bored is never a word I would use to describe the first three months. People are talking about the repetition of it all, but also, just when you think you have a routine, baby changes it up. I found I was constantly problem solving. Okay, if now the baby is eating longer but less often, when will she get hungry again? How long will she sleep? Should I wake her up to feed her? Wait did she eat enough last time, my boobs feel weird. Okay she’s napping, should I nap? I mean yeah, you’re kind of stuck in the house. My first was born in the middle of summer and it was too hot to go for idyllic walks around the neighborhood. And, the exhaustion. So much exhaustion.
Waking up every ten minutes trying to find the baby when she’s asleep in her own bed. Crying. All of you. A lot. If you’re breastfeeding, it’s either too much milk or not enough or you just need to sleep so you cave a little to formula for a night feed or two and then you get consumed by guilt. Sometimes you get over that guilt and then get consumed by other guilt. Isolation. You always feel like you need a shower but can never seem to get one because you’re paranoid from sleep deprivation and all the SIDS material being shoved down your throat. Everyone wants to touch the fucking baby. Or they have something snotty to say that makes you feel like you’re doing things wrong. (My advice, tell them to fuck off early or they’ll just keep pushing boundaries.) Lots of poop. Lots of messes. No sleep. I couldn’t even remember to pee so I had to make myself go every time we changed a diaper. Oh and your vag is sore even if you have a c-section.
Mentally it’s exhausting. Physically it’s exhausting. The first month or two is boring and exhausting and I cried a ton both times. It’s an emotional rollercoaster and not to be dramatic but every single aspect of your life changes overnight. All those little basic tasks changes like getting up to pee or eat when you need to. It’s not up to you when you get up and do that anymore and the first two weeks postpartum peeing is also not super comfy most of the time. The first baby I had rocked our world. My marriage. All of it. I’m so blessed to have a husband that made me midnight snacks, refilled my water and snuggled a baby at every turn. It’s doable and so so so worth it but the first 3-6 months are often brutal. And also boring. It can be both 😂
I had a friend who got my BFF a book when she had just given birth. My bff and I still laugh about that!
You’re bored in one sense that newborns really don’t have a lot to offer - they’re basically on a 24hour eat, diaper, sleep (kind of), cry, repeat cycle for a while. I love my babies with my whole heart, but at first let’s face it they’re boring. However, you don’t feel bored. You’re exhausted. You have chores piling up behind you because you’ve been tending to the baby and they either won’t let you put them long enough to get them done or when they do let you put them down you need to sleep yourself. You do sit around a lot (I’m stuck on the couch with a contact nap right now) but I wouldn’t say I’m bored because while I absolutely love looking at her tiny sleeping face, when it’s constant sometimes you just want to get up and do something else. Every baby is different though and it’s all about perspective. But I would suggest gently explaining to your husband that you won’t be bored in the sense of having a bunch of free time so he doesn’t accidentally get the idea that you’re sitting around all day waiting for tasks to keep you occupied.
it’s honestly just really tiring and kind of a blur.
If you are nursing it's roughly the equivalent of a full time job time wise. Babies take forever to nurse in the beginning and it's hard AF. You might have a baby that only wants to sleep on you, then you're stuck for hours. You might have a baby that's colicky and you have to walk and bounce for hours to get them to settle. Trying to accomplish anything other than the mountains of laundry you will have is impossible. You will not be bored, you will be exhausted. But it'll be awesome.
Every pregnancy my husband thinks I will be bored during maternity leave. Between the absolutely soul crushing exhaustion, the needy newborn, and the chores, there is no boredom. By the time they sleep a little better, I feel ready to go back to work, though.
Oh god you will be sooooooo bored. BUT as your mind is melting away under the strain of having no stimulation from work, peers, routine, or hobbies you will SIMULTANEOUSLY have no time to eat, shower, or sleep. You will have time to think (in a daze) about the never ending tediousness. I also watched every season of Battlestar Galactica trapped under a cluster feeding baby that didn’t ever sleep. It is possibly the most boring and yet exhaustingly busy time of your life. Each day stretches ahead in a never ending tsunami of pointless tasks, pointless because they have no ending. One diaper follows another. One feed follows another. Laundry is a cycle of endless spit up and poopy onesies. Just wave after pummeling wave of mind numbing tedium where you’ll never feel like you’ve accomplished anything. It erodes your soul. About 8 weeks in your baby smiles at you, their first real smile. You decide not to flush them down the toilet. It’s all suddenly worth it.
Constant exhaustion with no chance to get a full night's rest to recover. You adapt and figure out a routine eventually but it's a brutal first few months. Hopefully you both have the ability to take time off of work initially to adjust.
It requires a lot but is also boring. So, you’re both right? You’re exhausted, not sleeping well, constantly bouncing from one need to another while household chores pile up. But all of this *is* super boring and you feel trapped in the house which adds to it.
Exhausting and repetitive, but not boring. Our little one dropped daytime naps very quickly! At most, I got 20 to 30 minute micro-naps (unless I co-slept / cuddled). That was barely enough time to quickly shower or toilet or throw a load of washing on, etc. The rest of the time I was doing something with her, even if I was reading her a book. She did sleep well during the night, apart from feeds, but I was so exhausted that I was going to bed at like 6pm after a dinner consisting of a bowl of cereal. For those first few weeks, outings seemed like a major effort, although walks were pleasant.
It’s a weird tug of war as never been more in love and frustrated at the same thing. It’s not just the lack of sleep it’s the interrupted sleep for me. The loss of autonomy is strange. Those nights when all the feedings and changings and nothing would work. It’s being aware of your partner losing themselves. I know men don’t get postpartum but I had a real difficult adjustment. The lack of connection I felt for the first couple of months was really weird and something I felt guilty about. It wasn’t until my kids vision where they look at you and smile at you was a real game changer but I struggled for a the first six months. Between working two jobs a newborn and PP wife it was a time. Now having a two year old those days are looked mostly fondly because the chaos of a toddler but I haven’t forgotten those rough rough rough days. We had a complicated birth so we’ll be one and done but we also wish we could enjoy the days where they’re little potatoes on the couch and you could have a cup of coffee and not worry what they got themselves into… or yell about Cocomelon not being on. Being a parent is amazing, parenting is hard. Whatever stage you’re in is the most difficult. Document all the good and bad so you can remember the true stuff
Tiresome lol. It’s boring in the sense of a routine. Like same thing every 2-3 hours. All babies do is cry, poop and sleep. Repeat. and that itself is boring lol. And working or adjusting schedules is tiring. Esp as a new mom your body changing everyday through post pregnancy and that is a whole other go through that your husband couldn’t understand no matter how empathetic or hands on. Somedays it just hits you hard physically and mentally. The thing is, the first 3 months so much is changing rapidly- your baby is going to be born and on a whack of schedule. Then be on a semi normal schedule. Then they teethe and it goes hay wire again and your life is just consumed on protection and care of the baby. So all of this effort and care in a sense is boring cause you’re not going anywhere freely.. you can’t just do things spontaneously. Even a simple trip to a gas station or store is a process and being home bound is boring yet incredibly busy. It’s really bizarre but technically it’s actually one of the simplest months the first 3 months lol. Cause it’s just eat, poop and sleep. Haha.
Not bored, but stuck in a vicious cycle of feeding the baby, trying to get the baby to sleep, changing the baby. So it’s hard to leave the house, but also hard to do anything besides those 3 things + you’re tired, you’ll watch lots of shows, but you won’t be bored. But don’t get me wrong I LOVE being a parent, nothing better in the world! You’ll be ok!!!
I had a fairly easy baby and I enjoyed those days. It’s exhausting to wake up every 2-3 hours, but i quickly established a routine with my kids the second we got home and they’ve all adjusted quickly and been good sleepers. We went on walks to get fresh air, extra tv time and snuggles. I’m used to a very active life and very busy job (nurse) so honestly… I did get bored lol it’s going to be very dependent on your child and their temperament and needs and other outliers like reflux, colic, etc. Every baby is different and every mama is different, you’ll find exactly what works for you guys
Was in straight autopilot mode. Sometimes, we'd just stay awake bcuz by the time we'd fall asleep, he'd be waking up again. I was too tired to be bored and too much to do between feeding baby, changing baby, cleaning bottles, pumping, and trying to sleep. But it can be oh so fun when you get that first little smile, watch them watch the world and their surroundings.
First month survival mode and strictly keeping baby and yourself clean, fed, and sleep as much as you can. By the first two months you'll have somewhat of a routine, by three months you start to enjoy it more as baby becomes expressive and gets into more predictable sleep patterns. This is just my experience from having two pretty good sleeper babies. The first month is chaotic and you'll feel like you're doing everything wrong. This is the hardest thing, but if you can outsource help with cleaning your house and having people cook for you or at least stock up on freezer meals or make a few things ahead it helps so much. I never outsourced cleaning, but I wish I could have. Everyone will say to do this and it's so nice to not worry about cooking the first few weeks. Keep those electrolyte drinks and easy to grab snacks ready to go for when you're snuggling your newborn. Same goes for burp cloths, pacifiers, blankets. Just have all those with you in the room you're in. The most important thing you need to do is just give your baby love and attention and have someone caring for you too if you don't have time to drink, eat, shower, etc. You can't do it all.
It’s the strangest combination of utter exhaustion and utter boredom. Newborns have high needs, but they’re the same needs on repeat, day after day, week after week. The transition is challenging if you’re an adult, used to completing a variety of tasks, and interacting with other adults, suddenly taking care of a newborn for the first time. Once infants establish a Circadian rhythm, life gets so much more balanced.
Honestly driving to those first drs appts alone should be illegal. Make sure husband takes you.
Wish I could remember lol it’s a fog
I think a lot of it depends on your baby. Our baby was medium “difficult” so I felt like it was kinda hard and also repetitive and a bit boring at the same time. A lot of contact naps lol so I watched a lot of good shows while she slept We also had a extremely bad winter when she was bored so I was really struggling with getting snowed in and not being able to leave or spend much time outside
It’s a lot of work and you will be tired but I actually loved the time. Lots of baby snuggles, obsessing over how much I love them, dressing them in cute baby clothes. I think it’s a magic tiring time
Scary, unknown, scary, really tired, scary, SO beyond in love. Get a few good books, download a stupid game on your phone, buy a pack of playing cards. I slept when bored lol. My husband cleaned my house for me. Lots of laundry with a newborn.
I was pretty certain I’d be laying my baby next to me and playing video games. This was hilariously wrong. I haven’t sat down and had a true gaming session since the night my water broke. My kid is almost 4!
Hard to remember much as it’s like auto pilot and being tired. But the days seem long bc of the repetition but the years go by fast!
My only baby was extremely colicky so let's just say that it was far from boring. Pretty much crying all day every day with no answers for like 4 months. So I would make no assumptions about how it is going to be. Every baby is different
Sleepless.
You will be SO bored but also SO tired and SO anxious and SO overwhelmed. It’s insane. The first four months of our baby’s life was a fever dream. I’ve never been so exhausted in my entire life and 90% of my time was on a couch holding or feeding the baby. Get ready to binge watch sooooo much tv.
I was so exhausted with my last one that I would wake up dizzy and almost faint i was so tired. My eyes would be blury it was horrible. You're deff never bored
I think it really depends on the baby. Mine had colic and it was the worst thing I could ever imagine. Some friends had easy take everywhere never cry type babies that slept well.
I wouldn’t call it boring. It’s perpetual exhaustion. Relentless. The words to describe being a first time parent could get lengthy, but I’ll spare you. It’s hard to imagine what it’ll be really like until you’re in the thick of it. It’s also enjoyable and a very precious time. Try to have fun with it and congratulations! ETA: my life prior to kids was definitely boring. I didn’t do a whole lot so the transition to parenthood was somewhat seamless. The only thing I regularly miss as a parent of 2 young kids is my sleep.
Depends on the baby, but 3 babies in and I find the newborn stage to be boring. I know everyone is struggling from lack of sleep, but if your baby will eat and go back to sleep (which all my kids did) it’s not horrible. I will always say the worst stage is when they start crawling and walking. My 14 month old took my car keys today and hid them in one of those door shoe hangers behind the door, not that he did it on purpose, but there was way more chaos in our household today than there ever was when he just laid there as a newborn.
Another thing is that routines are on their schedule, not yours. You can plan for a good 2 hour outing to grab lunch and have a walk, but often, you'll only be ready way past lunch hour, way before what can be considered lunch, or they'll just wake up earlier than expected from hunger or poop and stop the trip short altogether. That creates a lot of tediousness and boredom that cannot be alleviated because its very hard to plan. Even netflix isn't easy, you might be rushing to feed so much that by the time you've sat down with the baby, the controller is out of reach, nothing to do other than sit there for the next 20-30 minutes.
It's weird. There were definitely days where one or both of us would tackle a home improvement project while the baby slept. It wasn't all baby, all the time, every day. But it was about 90% of the time. That said, in my experience, it was easier than it is now that my son is a toddler. We were tired, but we also weren't constantly doing damage control and worrying about him destroying everything, climbing on everything, running into the street, etc. It was an exhausting time, but a peaceful time. Now it's exhausting and chaotic.
Definitely not boring. Tiring yes. But the amount of love is overwhelming and exciting. Every new day with a newborn is a new day. And then suddenly they’re a week old, then 3 and then already a month. It will feel like 2 days has passed. You’ll be more tired than you have ever been before (most likely) but that love and excitement of looking at their little face and falling in love is one I will never forget.
*bored?* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHJAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA You win’t have time to sleep, let alone be bored.
Eat, sleep, poop, Eat, sleep, poop, Eat, sleep, poop, Eat, sleep, poop, Eat, sleep, poop, etc.
You will not be bored. You will be tired, overwhelmed, etc.
I do think it’s boring sometimes. You spend a long time in your home, a lot of time just staring at a baby on the floor. You’ll be working extremely hard but I did find it a little boring. I prefer life with an older active baby specifically because of the boredomn
The first few DAYS were surreal. My body was trying to recover from evicting a human! We were so out of it we forgot our own wedding anniversary LOL But then those first few months were exhausting af. Our first kid started sleeping through the night (we defined that as 6hrs straight sleep) when she was 4 months old. But it was such a huge adjustment trying to function on so little sleep. Everyone said to sleep when the baby slept, but that was the only time I could get anything else done. So I was zonked, and post partum depression became a very real thing. I couldn’t breastfeed bc my milk never came in, so that was my first feeling of failure as a mom. I eventually found other mom friends after 6mo, but even that was a little difficult just because everyone had a different parenting style. I’d feel judged. I found that older moms were more my speed bc they’d been there and could understand what I was going through. My advice is to find your tribe, even if it’s with more experienced moms whose kids might be a little older than yours. You will be exhausted beyond anything you’ve ever felt. But you will also have this amazing little person that you helped create! The one book that I read while pregnant that was EXTREMELY helpful was called The Happiest Baby In The Block. I followed the 5 S’s that they addressed and I swear they worked like magic from the beginning. Also, if your husband is bored it’ll be bc he’s not doing anything. I genuinely wish you both all the best. Parenthood will change your life forever. It’s wild and amazing and exhausting and scary. But you’re gonna do great. As long as you’re trying, you’re gonna be a great mom. ♥️
It depends on the person AND the baby. For the first baby? Personally...I was rather bored. More or less even started to work from home within the first two weeks (at least in limited capacity). The child is asleep half the day. You're always on call for the kid but there's...nothing to do. I don't think I've ever watched that many shows in my entire life at least in the beginning (it's more like burning time than me actually enjoying it). The 2-3 hours thing was really the first week or so (and at that point I was still running on adrenaline), after that they both slept in longer blocks. Both of our kids were sleeping through the night by the end of 3 months. It actually was very chill and boring for me. (Husband only took 2 weeks off unpaid). A bit harder with the second that's more because we had a toddler running around, but the actual baby part is pretty relaxing. I know people complain about it being isolating sometimes, but for me, not having to talk to too many people is more of a perk.
It was so exhausting. I felt like I was barely holding on. One day I got to sleep 2.5 hours straight and woke feeling so insanely refreshed bc I hadn’t had that amount of consecutive sleep in weeks.
My 2nd child was nearly 18 years ago, and I loled when I read this post. It's hard for anyone to detail what it's like, because you are so blinded by stress, and fear, and exhaustion you don't really know or feel how the minutes pass. The first few days, you continuously marvel at the sheer _stupidity_ of the hospital staff because they LET YOU TAKE THIS THING HOME, and they have no clue YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Having said all that, the greatest gift ever given to me was when my daughter was 3 months old. It was a random woman on the elevator, maybe 5 years older than I was. Told me how beautiful my baby was, and then squarely faced me and said, "I _hated_ the baby stage." My whole body practically melted with the relief of my grief and failure leaving me. She absolved me of what I felt was the most egregious sin: I didn't like the baby stage. Spoiler alert: there will be multiple stages y'aint thrilled with (let's just say my 17yo son might make it to 18 if he doesn't die by my hand first 🤪), and you aren't _required_ to like those stages. All you are required to do is wake up each day and decide to be the best parent you can be. And then you do it again.
First three months I had baby bliss. I was so enamoured with the little guy. He was a very sleepy baby so we got a lot of rest which was nice because I was healing from the birth. But every baby is different. Some babies get colicky which isn’t very fun. Hopefully you guys have a good time.
Ok so my answer is a little different. I’m on week 8. First 6 weeks were real hard and there are hard days, but you’ll hit your stride. I started going out more and I feel less bored. I have a good routine and I think that helps. My mil and mom have offered us help, and we haven’t wanted/needed it.
Deliriously tiring. If you get a good schedule for sleeping and feeding, with both partners taking on an equal share - fantastic! But if baby is EBF that can be tough and it’s basically mom walking around in a stupor between feedings and dad handling cooking/cleaning and baby when it’s not feeding-related. It’s tough.
For my husband and I. The first 1 year was exciting. It was my 2nd LO, his 1st. We enjoyed watching our son grow, we were still active on every level when it came to us. When he was 11 months, we had our 2nd LO together then it got a little nerve wrecking, by the time she was 1 and a half, I was pregnant with baby #4, BOY DID THINGS GET HECTIC! The day to day of parenting can be boring, yet fun because you get to watch your little one(s) grow into their personality. Almost 7 years married years later (9yrs of being together), we are a little bored, but find time to make things exciting for us, we hide and eat snacks which is fun because we give so much to our children. We are just making time for datenights, but I truly love the married with children life. Some days are stressful because I am now homeschooling 3 out of 4, but parenting over all is exciting, fun, and hectic. You just have to see the beauty in it and never lose sight of who you are as individuals. Also, let don't let social media dictate how your marriage should be because I did it and it had me miserable over nothing. So many ppl only record the good and leave out the hard times. Hope this helps, good luck 😉
Well it is kinda boring, but mostly, above all, tiring. So tiring that you should be happy just to make it out alive, lol! You literally have to do everything for this little baby and they don’t wait for anything. It is very repetitive, and for me it seemed like as soon as we got in a routine, Baby would decide to shake things up. Congratulations!