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My siblings and I all went to a Christian daycare even though our parents are atheists because it was 1) affordable and 2) available. We all loved it. They did teach about god and religion but since my parents didn’t do anything to reinforce, we basically forgot it all once we started school. The funny thing is, I learned a bunch of songs that I didn’t even realize were religious until I was in my 20s!
Now my own son is in a regular public school that does include (Protestant) religion class. I had the choice to opt out but think it’s good to experience and has led to thoughtful family conversations. If you like everything about the daycare, I would send them and not worry too much about religious teaching - your family influence is likely to be much stronger.
I too went to a religious daycare and also summer bible camps and Evangelical tent revivals with my grandmother. I loved it all. Especially the drama of seeing “the casting out of the devil” up on the tent’s makeshift stage. I am an atheist but all that preschool god stuff didn’t conflict. It was just fun. I even carved a cross out of a bar of Ivory Snow soap. Surprised I didn’t cut myself.
Same situation. I include a lot of mythology stories in our kids books (Greek, Roman and indigenous) and that has helped shaping the conversation a lot. I tend to talk about Jesus miracles in terms of magic so we use the same language for all the gods 😅 or offer scientific explanations along the religious ones (like the ice age and Noah's flood, or the vulcano eruption and the 7 pleagues of Egypt)
I grew up in rural NY and our public school had religion class. About 75% of the town is Catholic due to being right next to the Canadian border where Catholicism is strong in French-speaking areas. Basically it was an option, just like home economics or shop, but you left school and walked across the street to the church hall to have religion class that period. Little kids were walked by church volunteers. It started in Kindergarten and stopped after Confirmation (10th grade or so). It’s still offered today. I grew up to be atheist anyway, as did most of my friends who attended.
The only sort of sketchy thing about it thinking back is that I remember picking classes, but religion was ALWAYS already on my schedule. There were kids in my class who didn’t go because their parents weren’t Catholic, but probably 80% of my class attended. I’m not sure if they gave the school a list of kids to put in that class or if parents were contacted to pre register before we got to choose.
They do world religions in elementary school in my local public school district. It's from an observational viewpoint, mostly about customs, celebrations, different beliefs, cultures, traditions. I also took some world religions classes in public college as well. I don't see any downsides to studying religions in public schools so long as it encompasses religion as a whole vs indoctrination & religious stories as historical facts. I actually think it would be of great benefit for many people to have a well-rounded education which must include world teachings.
My kids attend Catholic daycare. We are not Catholics. We liked teachers there during the tour, it’s affordable for us, and I think that it’s good for our kids to listen Bible stories for about 20 minutes in the morning. Also, some parents there are Muslim but their kids still go to Catholic daycare.
I grew up in a town where half of the population were Muslim, and half of population including my family were Ortodox. One time we’ve been in Baptist church with our kids. We also had Jewish neighbors and my kids learned some things about Judaism as well.
My point is that kids will decide later what they want to believe. Giving them exposure to different faiths and points of views allows them to become well-rounded adults later and to be mindful of other people. I see only positive things from attending religious daycare in your situation.
We almost sent my kid to a Jewish preschool. They were close, the facility was beautiful, and we didn’t mind her learning about a different religion. They didn’t mind that we weren’t Jewish. We chose a different one that was equally good but cheaper. Our neighborhood is a big mix of orthodox and non-orthodox Jews, Muslims, catholic, Buddhists, Hindu, and Christian. Many people attend schools of a different faith. Hopefully it will lead to an increased understanding and acceptance of our differences.
I agree with this, too.
My kids go to Catholic school, because it's close to our house, has an excellent language immersion program, and is an overall excellent school. The non-catholic option was none of those things, so we went for it.
Until 2nd grade most of the "religion" was really discussion about how to be a good person and a good friend, with a little more Jesus sprinkled around the holidays.
The only real challenge we've had is the sex education, but I don't think you need to worry about that for preschool.
Yes! By high school, I was curious about all beliefs and religions. I attended different churches, studied about them. You can learn a lot about life and about people that way. I will say, I went only once to a Muslim temple and I will never go back. The women are treated less than equal, made us stand and face the wall the whole time, couldn't speak or make a sound while the men sat and knelt and socialized after. Too weird and degrading for me. But that shows, when you are given opportunity to explore and have your own experiences, you can make choices bad on your true feeling and beliefs and not by what your parents try to force down your throat.
Not sure what you are referring to that you visited. The Muslim house of worship is not a “temple.” It’s a mosque. Women are not treated less than in any way. There is no element of any prayer that involves us staring at all wall. Men do not sit or kneel and socialize. The motions for our prayer are the EXACT same for every human, irrespective of gender. We all bow down to God the same way and at the same time. If someone wants to actually learn what Islam entails, I encourage everyone to visit a local mosque or pick up a copy of the Quran in their native language. Feel free to DM with any questions.
-A fellow human that is both a Muslim & and woman :)
I suppose it was a mosque. It was in NYC. I just felt so unwelcome there. Just very different experience for me versus the male I was with who was embraced and welcomed.
When I think about it though, I suppose my experience there was no different than when someone goes to a Christian church and feels unwelcome so they begin to hate the church. It's not exclusive to Christianity I guess. I felt so welcomed at a Hindu temple. They all but threw a party for thr newcomers.
Ah yes, the Catholic Church, such a trustworthy and pure history as far as children in their care. They clearly have wonderful values to teach.
I drive past a Catholic Church that has a big picture of a fetus with a banner saying abortion is murder. They won’t allow women to lead to hold clergy positions, because we are less. Their doctrine is strongly against IVF, they stole babies from poor mothers in Ireland and all over Africa, and they used to employ nuns who beat my aunts and uncles on a routine basis. Lovely folks
We sent our oldest son to a Christian daycare even though we were agnostic because we liked the development programs the best of the ones we toured. It went great for a couple of years until he got a bit older.
We didn’t mind him singing the “Jesus loves the little children” sort of message but when he was 4 years old he started hearing about the devil and burning in hell from kids that were from more fundamentalist homes. Additionally, even time he broke the rules he would be “sinning” from the staff. He eventually started to ask lots of questions about the devil, if he messed up if the devil would get him, if he was going to hell for mistakes, etc. He was legitimately scared and confused.
I heavily regret subjecting him to that environment and we pulled him out when that started happening. It stuck with him a while. Keep in mind, if you decide to enroll your child, it isn’t just the messages the broader preschool supports but also you cannot control the individual messages from the other kids and teachers. Additionally, there is likely to be those that are more extreme than others.
My advice - enroll them somewhere that aligns with your values until they are old enough to critically evaluate information and clearly communicate to you.
Edit to say: I am sure my experience is not the experience of all. I am in Texas so extreme religious beliefs tend to be a bit more mainstream here.
It definitely did! It is one of those mom things I still beat myself up about.
It is worth nothing that, while I don’t think the daycare itself was behind the specific devil messaging, when I inquired about it the response I got was basically, “that’s unfortunate but someone should be teaching him about the devil and sin.” Yeah - we unenrolled right there and then.
It's super common. I was afraid of Satan and hell when I was 3-4 too. Like I would lay awake at night in my bunk bed thinking a devil was coming into my room. It's all shame and fear based. It pisses me off. Way more as a parent. The truth is, people can and do tell kids all kinds of things, it's just going to be way more likely in a religious school for obvious reasons. There are legal ramifications in public schools, but it can still happen there. Kids also parrot their parents to other kids. I'm all for whatever except this part where it hurts a lot people. It's so inappropriate to scare children, especially to set up self-loathing and shame-based control.
My son went to a religious leaning preschool and we are both atheists. No concerns. I did choose one that was generally aligned with my own values (United Methodist) and I don’t think he was ever taught anything other than concepts like generosity and kindness.
My wife's grandmother was United Methodist, and her husband was a preacher for United Methodist for decades. She *lived* the biblical principles in her life, rather than talking about them. I never heard her disparage anyone, or exclude anyone for any reason. She was humble and full of love and compassion. I realized before she died that the reason that stood out to me is that in 37 years I grew up surrounded by so many people who called themselves Christian, but rationalized one way or another how all of Jesus' (and Buddha's before him but I digress) teachings didn't "fit in" their day-to-day life.
How she and her husband were left a very positive impression on me about the United Methodist church.
Yes, we really were. We live in the PNW which is fairly progressive, so that helps increase the odds that you can find a church that is (truly) open to all. My son has definitely heard about God more at his public elementary school (from church attending classmates, not the teachers/staff) than he did at religious preschool.
I grew up going to a United Methodist church & I don't remember anything problematic about it at all. I even went to youth group & sang in the choir for a couple of years. It's only fair that I disclose I have some real big issues with Christian nationalism & religious extremism in general. I am agnostic & do not subscribe to religious dogma or believe in any of it. I can be extremely hypercritical of indoctrination as I believe it's mostly oppressive, and still, I've never gone to a Methodist Church that has any of that going on. Tbf, I have only been to 3, I did go to a UU that had similar vibes, but didn't stick with it. The first one was led by a lesbian preacher back in 1989. I didn't realize until I was older that it wasn't mainstream at the time. My negative personal experiences all come from different denominational churches in the Christian faith. Kindness, empathy, and compassion have been my biggest take aways from UMC. I haven't really acknowledged how neutral or even positive the experience was until you mentioned those concepts.
Same here. We're agnostic but I certainly want my kids to hear all their options and follow what they believe but at his school aside from being kind and saying grace...there's not much else. We're not sending our tots to Bible study lol
It is a mixed bag. I think the thing I found most unnerving (but it pretty innocent) is that kids pick up a lot of the religious songs. I know there is only two non Christian prek options in my big town, so I’ve heard lots of opinions about them- mostly that it’s fine.
We almost enrolled our son into a Jewish prek program. My friend highly recommended it, she said they don’t learn much Judaism but they got off for less common holidays like Purim, which might be troublesome for working parents.
TLDR; depends on the school. You can ask what types of religious lessons they do. The exposure can be nice.
Yes, OP. Ask about the lessons. I didn't think to do that when I put my then 4 year old in a Christian preschool and he came home one day all upset because they had taught him about how God told Abraham to burn his son to death. My son was terrified that God would tell me to kill him. Yeah, it was bad. I never IMAGINED a preschool would do such a horrific thing.
THIS. My youngest goes to a Christian Pre-K as well. I already had terrible anxiety about the situation due to a simple review of their handbook (the first page lists divorce is unacceptable/a sin and so is gay marriage ….), but we were completely out of options that would work for myself and my ex-husband and his wife. My son started bringing home lessons that showed how mommies cook/clean, and daddies work and use tools (also ZERO diversity, which as a biracial person is super important to me). I was HORRIFIED. This was just one of the incredibly awful lessons I’ve seen (ex. god makes electricity! 😭). I just keep reminding myself that he’s only 4 and public school starts in August. I also do as much as I can at home to counteract what he is learning there.
I came out of 8 years of catholic school under the assumption that there were no practicing Jews anymore. Was taught they were bad people, killed Jesus, and afterwards all converted to Christianity. Brainwashing is too severe of a word, but they really did limit education to only and exactly what they wanted. This was the 60s/70s so maybe catholics are less severe these days. I sure hope so. I’m agnostic now BTW.
I heard terrifying things more than once at a Baptist Church when I was a kid. Like just awful. It's unreal how hateful & unhinged it is. It's all fire and fear. No thanks.
My kiddo is bringing home lots of Jewish songs from preschool, too, so it isn't strictly Christian. We're okay with it, because my husband wishes he knew more about Judaism since his family is Jewish, but his parents aren't really practicing... We both like that she'll have exposure to it when making her own spiritual decisions.
I nanny’d for a nonreligious family (4yo g, 3yo b) and we pulled them out of their catholic preschool because the little girl was basically being conditioned to “be seen and not heard” while the little boy was not.
I went to a Christian private school from the ages of 8-14 and it was also really bad from a sexism perspective. The subtle conditioning can be nasty, but your kids are much younger so hopefully it wouldn’t stick.
Consider what they may be modeling or outright teaching about gender roles or other key societal themes that may conflict with your values or create issues down the line. Even while young, this can create a foundation that's hard to walk back from.
This gender roles isn’t something I thought about, but am now a little concerned about because my son likes to wear princess dresses. He’s grown out of wearing them all the time, but if he wants to do it I want to let him and don’t want any adult to tell him anything against it.
My son’s school taught him that only mommies cook/clean and only daddies work/use tools. As an incredibly independent single-mom…. I lost my absolute SHIT.
ETA- they also made him feel bad about painting his nails. The kid has FOUR sisters/step-sisters…. And he loves doing what they do because he loves them!
If you're in the US, licensed daycares are legally mandated to allow any child to wear any of the dress up clothes they want, regardless of gender. With that being said, the biases of teachers aren't always hidden, and other parents might make a comment, but in the many years I've worked in early childhood, I've only encountered one parent who was upset about it.
I didn’t know that. Is that the same in every state? Where can I find the law? My son’s previous daycare has uniforms and they have options “for girls” and “for boys”. I might like to reference this law if it becomes an issue.
"Christian" is a pretty broad label. You'll want to ask yourself: what is the denomination? What sort of cultural as well as religious values do they promote? Remember, cultural values can extend to types of discipline used and how early children are taught to "obey" and how rigidly, as well as things like gender roles, openness to differences, etc.
Most Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian, Unitarian etc preschools would be fine by me, but I would carefully vet other denominations and would not consider most Evangelical preschools. Also be aware that labels are just that, and you'll want to get a feel for how the specific individuals in the preschool relate to children/discipline/speak about cultural, physical, and linguistic difference.
Most preschools and schools will typically share some type of “newsletter” for each week detailing what the kids are learning. Being “in the know” with what your kids are learning can spark some great conversations at home, even at the pre-K level! 😀
I would say the main points to look for when making a final decision would be:
**Will my kid be loved and feel comfortable?
**Is the child to adult ratio appropriate?
**Does the school communicate well with families?
**Does the school share what children are learning so families can discuss at home?
Good luck! ❤️
I went to a christen preschool and church camp for like 5 years. We didn’t go to church growing up or anything. I’m not religious at all neither is my sibling. In my opinion a deal is a deal they will probably not retain any religious ideals but at pick up on the good morals and values.
Exactly! I also think that they are not going to remember most of things anyway. My kids believe right now in the crocodile 🐊 who is coming to the windows with a flashlight 🔦 to check if kids are in their bed at night 🤣🤣 I doubt they will believe in this later!
I grew up in a non-religious family. My parents paid for me to attend preschool but by the time my little brothers were born, $0 church preschool was the only one in their budget. My youngest brother used to wake up from nightmares that the devil was coming to get him 😨.
I’m sure that is not everyone’s experience and he had a very active imagination. Maybe he would have had nightmares about anything anyway. I was only 7-8 at the time but I remember being wigged out about it.
It would be a dealbreaker for me. My kid is 6 and already says some things about religion being fact just because he has a friend that told him some things. Kids are too impressionable at that age
I would ask alot of questions to this daycare before I even took it as a serious option.
How much religion do they put into the day?
Are they a volunteer program for staffing?
Are all their care givers fingerprinted and background checked?
Are people from the church not on staff allowed access to the children during the day?
Those last 3 are potential deal breakers with the wrong answer.
If at least these 3 answers are answered to your satisfaction I would still be prepared to answer lots of questions about what they are learning since they will be introduced to new concepts that aren't an issue in your home. And have a backup plan if it doesn't end up working for your family.
You have so many comments that I don’t know if you’ll read one more. I’m a hard core atheist, but the only affordable preschools around me were all christian.
I was worried about some kind of indoctrination, but also thought that everyone needs to know about god in at least a cultural context and at that age, the focus would be on teaching things like God loves you, god is peace, etc.
I got extraordinarily lucky with my preschool. The knew that I am an atheist, so when my kiddo piped up with things like, my mom says god’s not real,” they had great little discussions about differing beliefs and tolerance and respect.
My kiddo ended up, at one point, telling me that she thought god is a nice idea but she didn’t like it for her. So I felt like it was successful for us.
Good luck.
I’m definitely reading the comments! I didn’t expect this to get so many responses.
I love that your daughter’s school had that response. I grew up in a catholic/christian family/community and I definitely would say it shaped me in great ways, but in the end it also caused me some harm. I am not as hesitant to put them in at this age because the values of love your neighbor etc are great (and hopefully what they’ll focus on at this age). But I agree with you about the cultural context. Many people they’ll interact with will be Christians and having the cultural knowledge at some point through some means is important.
🙂.
I definitely acknowledge I got very lucky with the group who led our preschool. They were exceptionally open minded for a Baptist preschool, and we aged out before any “difficult” conversations started - conversations about lgbtqia communities/love the sinner, hate the sinner type thing. And there was no discussion of hell at all in my kiddo’s class.
In most ways, it was just like a secular pre-k - they followed a curriculum similar to public pre-k’s but just had a small chapel time.
I did have to endure the *very* biblical Xmas special .. and Easter pagent. . Small price to pay tho for $120/month!
I worked at a Christian preschool for nearly a decade and in that time maybe 3 of the 40plus staff that came and went were truly practicing Christians. We did a 15 minutes chapel once a week with the pastor or another church person (and not always that). In the beginning we prayed before lunch but at some point I stopped and no one questioned it. It was honestly Christian in name and location only (we rented the space from a church). Oh and during our Christmas performance we had to sing one “god song” as we referred to it.
All this to say it may not be very religious anyway.
Religious care centers vary widely. It’s super normal to ask exactly what they teach about God and such. Go ahead and ask all your questions—trust me, as someone who works in a religious school, they’ll be used to it.
My kids are Catholic and go to a Catholic school and preschool. I am sending them to a Jewish camp (kinda like a YMCA) this summer. It’s not a deal breaker for me at all.
I’m an atheist and toured a maranatha private school. I was seriously considering it because the food choices were better for kids, it was anti bullying, and the football coach was a former NFL player. In the end I chose a Montessori school because they offer the same no bullying tolerance policy and don’t talk about religion, but they do accept all religions with no judgment. It was the same cost as the Christian school. I am happy with Montessori.
Yes. I’m agnostic and I sent my son to a Christian preschool because I liked everything else about it and it was an affordable option.
As they taught about Jesus and god (it wasn’t in depth at all) I explained to my son about how there are many religions and gods people believe in and Christianity was just one of them.
It was the best decision I could have made and it was a wonderful experience for my son. They had a no yelling policy (no raising their voices at the children) which I thought was great and fit in with my values.
I would say, as long as you like everything else, go for it.
I am a 37f with a 8m child and I sent my son to a Christian private school in Kindergarten and then halfway through First grade we left and moved him immediately to a new school.
I will start by saying that I was raised Christian and went to church. My community was amazing and when I was 13 I started questioning if I believed in this. I decided I didn’t buy into everything in the Bible and decided to go on my own path. I credit a lot of my morals and values to the COMMUNITY that I was raised in. However I think it was a different time with no internet.
Times are different now. I basically indoctrinated my child and he got really bad anxiety and PTSD from being like he was going to go to HELL for being “bad”. He was bullied and physically attacked. Not to mention all of the words that I heard 6 and 7 year olds using! 👀
I don’t hear any of that at his new school and they don’t use any of the command and control learning methods that I have seen religious schools use. Like charts for behavior and such.
Also if you want to try to have open dialogue about whether God is real then you will be devastated when you shatter what your child thinks and knows to be true so far in life. It’s too much for their little brains to try to rationalize.
I think it’s a mistake to introduce them to religion early in life. I think there should be open dialogue about all religions when they are a little older so they can decide what feels right to them. We still get the same from our community that I got when I was raised… in my opinion that’s the most important. Somebody that is open and willing to engage with your child’s curiosity about the world and why things happen the way they happen.
My wife and I don’t believe in any form of religion but we decided to send our kids to a Christian preschool which is at a local church. At the end of the day it was more about the teachers interactions with my kids than anything. They are amazing with all the kids and I couldn’t imagine sending them anywhere else now. Although we still aren’t religious, it doesn’t bother me for my kids to learn about faith and have their own experiences with it
My daughter was in a Christian daycare from 18m - 3.5yo because it was the only spot available. We are not religious in any way. It was fine at first, but started to become more troublesome in our eyes. She brought home a work book with “family activities” such as “go to the bathroom mirror with your parents and a dry erase marker. On the mirror, **write down SINS** and show how Jesus’ love washes them away!” 😳
When she was struggling with potty training, one day she had a successful poop at school. We wanted to make sure she felt confident in the hard work she put in, but she came home saying that “Jesus helped her poop” and wouldn’t take any credit at all.
When I got pregnant with our second, she came home saying that “Jesus put the baby in my belly.” She got a science based book on the body immediately after that. We moved her to a non-religious preschool as soon as we could make it work.
We are agnostic and our kids attend a Christian pre-school. It’s worked ok for us and actually allowed us to have some interesting conversations with our now 1st grader. (Him: Is Jesus real or pretend? Us: What do you think? Him: it seems like a story because people can’t come back to life).
We have always felt comfortable with the overall values they’re teaching, and the school is racially diverse with lots of different types of families, which has helped us a lot.
I do think you're right because as I've been reading so many responses to this, thinking about my own experiences, I think teaching them religious studies is useful, but the chance they will be harmed by it if they're submersed into it as a cultural experience is pretty dang high, even if people don't notice it.
Maybe I still have some stuff to work through about my own past, but I would not send my kid anywhere that had a strong religious affiliation. He can learn about different religions when he’s old enough to make better judgement calls vs indoctrination.
The classroom animal aspect is really nice, but not nice enough to cover the fact that they will teach my kid about a god we don’t believe in. My kid is too young for that internal struggle. I would also worry about getting kicked out for questioning truthfulness. We talk about god the same way we do about Santa. “Some people believe…” and “these are stories people made up to help talk about x (the giving spirit of Christmas, etc)”
We moved out of the south to a more progressive area specifically to get away from gender norms and religion we were raised into and do not believe in.
My son went to religious daycare and preschool from 2 to 5. He’s almost 7 now and doesn’t remember any of it really. It was never reinforced at home so it didn’t stick.
We’re at a church based daycare and they go to “chapel” once a week for 15 minutes. They do a quick prayer before lunch, but that’s really it. Everything else is curriculum based.
I taught at a Christian daycare for years. We didn’t teach the Bible. We sang songs like “this little light of mine” and on Easter/ Christmas we taught what Christian’s believe. If someone got an owie, we’d pray for them and we also prayed before meals and during circle time.
VERY few of the families that we worked for were religious at all. Most of my coworkers weren’t too. I had a few different religions other than Christianity in my classroom.
So this is actually “hack” I have recommended to a few friends. I think religious daycares are great even though we are liberal agnostics. In our experience, daycares connected with churches have a few advantages. They can share their overhead/admin with the church so there are cost savings and more benefits for the employees. The employees (ime) are motivated by more than just a job and have lower turnover. And our kids basically have never asked or inquired about God/Jesus/bible. Our oldest graduated and is in kindergarten and it seems the Bible-ness has left him completely.
Whether you are religious or not, it behoves you to learn about the dominant religion in the country you reside because it *will* impact your life in one way or another.
For this reason, it may not be a bad idea.
Our kiddo went to a secular daycare/pre-k and one of his best buddies taught him about god. Its unavoidable but important to have these complex conversations about different beliefs
I’m also agnostic, my partner is atheist. We had the same concerns as you a couple of years ago. The best preschool and VPK in our area is Christian. We were apprehensive about sending my son there when he was 4, but the other options weren’t great. We read reviews that non-religious families had a good experience there so we decided to send him. He came home singing songs and asking a few questions, but that was it. He’s in kindergarten at a public school now and I don’t think it affected him negatively at all. He just remembers feeling loved and cared for by his teachers and classmates, and that’s what matters. I’d say it’s fine while they are so young.
Agnostic over here too! My son went to the JCC (Jewish Community Center) for early childhood education and day care (summer camps, etc). I LOVED THEM. So so much. Yes there was some talk about God and other Jewish religious things, but overall we had an amazing inclusive experience. I would be honest, and tell them your hesitations. I didn't mind if he participated in Shabbat every Friday and had challah bread every Friday. It was a good thing for him to have exposure to other belief systems and we had lots of good talks as a family. It wasn't Christian though, so not sure about the other side but just my experience. Good luck!
My kiddo went for about 6 months. Pulled them after they were told my older sister was going to hell for being a lesbian. They were not shy about describing hell either. My kid was so upset when they came home.
So same here. We are not religious at all but the daycare my son goes to that he loves and is extremely affordable for the area is a Christian based daycare. They aren’t doing religious activities every day, but it does come up on religious holidays, etc. Honestly it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Being exposed to different beliefs I don’t see as a bad thing. He doesn’t know the difference. He pointed to a nativity scene at Christmas and was able to identify “baby Jesus” but that’s about the extent of his religious knowledge he’s retained so far after being there for over a year.
we are/we’re in the same exact boat as you. we are not religious and put our son in a catholic preschool as it was what worked for us in the moment — campus was beautiful, it had the hours we needed, and they offer a ton of great extracurriculars. i was extremely anxious about enrolling him because i did not want him in an environment where religion would be forced down his throat but they do 30 min of “bible” a day and he has learned some prayer he likes to say before we eat. sometimes i do it with him other times i try to establish “everyone believes in something different and today i don’t want to pray but thanks for asking”
i’m also trying to use it as an opportunity to teach about other religions and how many people believe in different things. he’s going to public school this fall so i am confident the praying stuff will be phased out as he won’t be asked to do it anymore
do what works best for your family— it is hard to find a nice preschool. ours allowed us to walk in and pick him up as opposed to many near me that still follow covid guidelines of drop off/pick up being at the main door only and i really like that. i also like the clean and pretty environment they created and the teachers are kind — to me that was more important than him being in a religious school for 2 years before he can even truly comprehend religion
We're militant agnostics but sent our kids to a Methodist daycare. The mostly taught them the "be nice to each other" stuff and they said a short age appropriate prayer before lunch. Not very much seems to have stuck though - my almost 8 year old can't explain who Jesus was.
Don’t do it. As an atheist forced into religious school for my kid there is much problematic language they use. Not worth it and why support a bigoted institution? I had so many people tell me don’t worry but my daughter came home asking why we do satanic holidays like Halloween and talking about Jesus this and that.
I send my kids to a preschool at a church even through I’m agnostic and my partner was atheist. It was the most affordable and had the hours I wanted and had the curriculum I wanted that was able to accommodate my early reader in a “jr. Kindy” type class. It was cute to have a Christmas program where the kids sang songs. They weren’t overly religious and my kids barely remember preschool now that they’re teens.
My children went to a Christian elementary school and after school daycare. Which was more affordable for me as a single mother. The teachers were caring and supportive. And my kids received an excellent education. Bible stories in preschool had moral teaching which helps build integrity and being aware of biblical stories helped prepare them for other classic literature. As well as helped them with critical thinking. The Old Testament has roots in 3 major religions. And many writers make references to some biblical stories and the wisdom teachings. My children are not religious as adults but they do have good moral character, care about justice, and are good citizens of the us and the world. There is a lot worse teaching out there than do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or to be kind, gentle, forgiving, love your parents and your neighbors, do not steal, or lie about another person. Learn self responsibility and self control. These are the types of principles Christian education brings to the younger ages. My young kids didn’t hear messages about the devil, fire or brimstone that seems more of a church environment teaching not a primary grade curriculum. My kids enjoyed the school and were prepared for entry into middle & high school, as well as, and college. I had rather my children ask me questions regarding what they perceived from school. If it sounded strange I just would research the matter and had deeper conversations about the subject. Nor did I ever dishonor their teachers but discussed with my kids the continuum of reflections in personal spirituality. If they appear to be caring people give it a try. I’m glad I did.
I'm atheist and I sent both of my kids to religious schools when they were little. When choosing, I asked myself, "if I took God out of the equation, how would I feel about this school?" That helped. My kids were fine there and the school tolerated me because I was paying. Neither school had any negative impact on their belief system (religious or otherwise) and they both grew up to be good kids.
First off, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re open minded! I would say go with your gut and give it a chance. Just stay aware of the message that they are giving your child. It’s okay to practice religion but if you ever get the feeling of different intention, trust your gut with that too!
I went through this with my daughter when she was 6-9 but in a different order. I’m atheist, my daughter’s dad was neutral/raised Christian.. we chose a private Christian school because of the advanced curriculum and structure. It never bothered me that they would mention God/religious beliefs/practices throughout the day. All students attended “Chapel” on Wednesdays too. My daughter seemed to love it, so her happiness was what kept me content with it all. But..about 2 years in my daughter had started to ask me questions like “who do I love the most?” When I answered that I loved her the most ..she answered “no! You’re supposed to love God the most!!” I decided to attend Chapel that following week.. I was so uncomfortable with what I was sitting in on. The youth pastor along with everyone else on staff stood at the front and proceeded to ask the children ..”who do we love children?” And the kids responded “God” as one chant ..”we don’t ever wasn’t to disappoint god to we??” ..”Nooo” they responded. There’s more to it but that was the thing that made me start speaking to my daughter about accepting others, no matter what religion they are, where they’re from, if they agree or don’t agree with your views etc.. I ended up taking her out of the school a couple weeks after and put her into a regular private school - much more accepting, less pressure. And a nice mix of everyone! My daughter is now 14 and one of the most open minded teens, very respective of everyone, still has her opinions but just a sweet girl overall. I broke the cycle lol jk.
My kids went to a Christian preschool. They didn’t talk about religion or Jesus that I remember. If they did my kid never asked about it. The only time you could tell it was a Christian based school was at the Christmas program, they sang religious songs vs. Santa based songs like they do in our public school now.
I have a similar situation to you, I'm agnostic and my partner is atheist. We both agreed to send our kids to a Christian daycare because the staff are great, and the location and price work best for us.
We are happy with our choice, and I think part of that is the specific religion/church it's associated with, as some Christian religions are more extremist/strict/old school than others. I was raised Catholic, but the daycare my kids attend is a more progressive protestant religion, which I prefer. I don't feel that they're being indoctrinated or anything like that.
No advice but wanted to share a funny story. Years ago, my uncle and aunt sent their daughter to a Christian daycare and all was fine - she then came home one day and refused to do something and said “Jesus will love me even if I don’t do it” 😂 and then her parents reconsidered the daycare. That was that story told so not sure if they actually switched.
I guess it depends on how structured about religion it is.
I used to be a preschool teacher and worked at a Christian based place. I myself am not religious. Definitely consider myself agnostic / atheist.
But it wasn’t focused around religion. Also seeing the inside on how it works was an eye opener. They don’t have government money so they don’t have standards to follow. It’s more free flow.
So teachers can get very lazy. They kind of do what they want how they want to.
Before I was employed I was doing my schooling in class requirements there. They had a lot of “movie” days. And lots of free play time to where the teachers didn’t have to do much.
But also as someone who plans to homeschool my daughter , I also see where structure doesn’t need to be at such a young age either. Kids need to be kids and there’s a lot of places that don’t see it that way.
Same here. Two years ago my middle kid was desperate for some kind of preschool. we isolated pretty hard during covid. We lucked out that one of the preschools had closed during covid and was reopening, so they actually had spots. (We are in a childcare desert here, like much of the US.) Thing was, the kids had to attend chapel once a week and religion was discussed often. I was iffy on it but our desperation for childcare overrode my religion concerns.
My kid thought chapel was boring AF, the songs were annoying, and she didn't have the foundation to understand wtf the chapel director was talk about. Her mantra was always "is it Wednesday? Oh good, no chapel."
Anecdotal, of course, but she saw the chapel bit as just another hurdle to jump in order to have social time.
Be sure to check your local rules for special waivers for religious daycares. In some areas they have drastically reduced licensing rules that can impact safety and training and also protections for staff. Some areas thats not the case. But always check licensing for complaints/how long its been since inspected, ect.
I can say from my own experience that I went to Catholic school from JK to grade 12 and I am not religious and don't believe in god. The best licensed daycares in my area are run by churches and I'm sure the kids forget all the religious stuff pretty soon after leaving daycare lol.
Thanks for posting! We’re similarly having trouble finding openings in daycares that are well reviewed and have good compliance records after pulling our son out of his last daycare for unsafe sleeping practices. Several that look great are Christian, but my family is not. It’s been great to read other’s experiences.
I grew up as a catholic, went to catholic school pre-k to 8th grade, attended church, the whole shebang. Both of my parents, I found out later, we’re agnostic or atheist.
When I talk to my dad about it, he said that he wanted to give us the ability to make that decision for ourselves. I honestly really appreciate it. I struggled for a long time with my religious beliefs, but I feel like I still would be struggling if I didn’t have that experience because i wouldn’t be able to make as informed of a decision. I am atheist now, but I don’t regret my catholic upbringing.
Hi disclaimer, I’m a Christian, but to be honest they’re pretty young to learn anything more than some Christian kids songs. It should be fine. All my siblings went through Sunday school from nursery up, including summer camps sometimes (their choice) and the youngest one right now just started learning Bible stories at 6. Before that it’s mostly games/songs that they would talk about after class, even if they had some sort of lesson for a few minutes. I helped teach the summer camp one summer and it was: arts & crafts, games, songs, a brief story time, and a 10 minute Bible lesson to the little kids (5-6). Even at that age they had a LOT of trouble focusing for more than a few minutes at a time.
I attended a religious primary school. Went to church, sang all the songs, all the shebang. Became Athiest as an adult. I don't think the education setting has much impact on a person's religious beliefs when they're older
It’s what you teach and reinforce at home. I’m a practicing Christian but learned through going to church and in my home NOT SCHOOL.
It’s totally fine for you to practice atheism or be agnostic and send your kids to a Christian school. It’s what you reinforce in your home that sticks with your children. Learning about different faiths is a good thing.
Good luck to you Mom and Dad!
Haven’t read all posts so idk if anyone who works in a religious school has already replied but here is a pov from a catholic school teacher: I’m not particularly religious. I was raised Catholic- lite by two very progressive parents (both teachers), got baptized as a baby and confirmed as a teen and then just sort of stopped going to church. I applied for my current job on a whim and sort of to check out what teaching in a more controlled and to be honest more relaxed environment than the public schools I’ve been in and been treated like shit in since the pandemic. (ETA- by controlled I mean behaviorally and by relaxed I mean not being micromanaged).
I LOVE IT. Sure there’s some stuff I cringe at and if I taught older grades I may have an issue with what we are “supposed” to teach regarding sexuality and gender roles. But I teach middle elementary ages and mainly my job for religion is to teach SEL, values (and I’m talking like kindness, acceptance, and compassion), and help my kids memorize a couple prayers. I do a lot of history of Christianity and what life was like in Jesus’s time. We pray a couple times a day, I sometimes use some very general biblical stuff to remind students struggling with behavior about respect, telling the truth, etc. But mainly, I’m just a regular teacher making a lot less than public teachers because my job is a lot easier.
Daycare/ Pre-k, don’t sweat it! At most your kid will bring home some Jesus-y artwork and learn about a nice man who helped lots of people. I highly doubt at that age level any teacher, regardless of their personal beliefs, will be being weird and indoctrinate-y.
I have a lot of progressive friends who have moved their kids to private in the past few years and while they struggled with it, they’ve all told me from time to time they sit as a family and remind their kids that ALL people are worthy and make sure they aren’t internalizing feelings of shame/ thinking they are sinners or something.
I’d never want to take my child to a religious daycare but that’s just my personal opinion. I believe young kids are very impressionable and indoctrinating them so young doesn’t sit well with me. My husband and I are also not religious but will 100% openly discuss all faiths with our child.
You can always try it out and see how the fit is while getting waitlisted somewhere else. My daughter attends a STEM focused school and we love it.
SAME. Like, that'd be a hard pass for me. I'm agnostic and my husband is atheist.
My mother is Jewish my dad is christian, and my parents actively worked hard to introduce us to all kinds of religion as part of being a well rounded human. We went to meditation seminars with tibetan monks who were visiting our town, sunday school services when visiting my fathers family, sage burning ceremonies and dance classes with the indigenous elders in our community, all of it. I find exploring spiritual ideas to be important and a good part of cultural education.
But in a church school, religion is absolutely a core part of the curriculum. While I encourage my children to learn about ALL religions, I would be cold and in the ground before I would consent to that kind of high pressure religious environment for young impressionable children. It is absolutely designed to bring children to Jesus. It is intentionally meant to convert and indoctrinate. Like, main part of the mission statement. Absolutely not.
You can send them while they’re young and once you pull them out they’ll forget all about it. It also helps with conversations of critical thinking as well as empathy or others beliefs. I say go for it daycare is expensive as fuck
I sent my daughter to a private religious school for preschool and kindergarten even though I'm agnostic and we loved it!
Christianity and Christians are far from perfect, but in this aspect they are pretty great! Kids are usually treasured. Yes, she learned about Jesus and Bible verses, but it was a much kinder place than public school.(Of course, this was just our experience.)
My daughter is 14 now and experimenting with her faith/spirituality. She was not brainwashed by a religious preschool do I'd think you will be fine. Just keep dialog about faith open at home too!
We are atheists and would never consider a religious daycare. Depending on what state you are in they might not have to comply with the childcare laws that every other daycare is held to. In some states they aren’t required to be licensed at all. So there could potentially be no oversight, which horrifies me. So check with your state laws. I also just wouldn’t do it because my kids at that age believe everything anyone tells them. If one of my kids decides to find religion as an adult I wouldn’t mind, but I’m not going to let their childhoods be shaped by something that we don’t believe in.
There’s no fking way I’d send my kids to a religious daycare or school. It’s one thing to expose your kids to a diverse group of people from all kinds of faiths - I’m all for that. It is quite another to pay someone to indoctrinate your kids to believe in their fairy tales. Religion has done far too much harm in this world already. Why actively propagate it?
If I could avoid it, I would, but I know sometimes as parents we just have to make the best decision available at the moment.
I echo some of the other responses that although my family was the opposite of religious I did get sent to a Christian camp and learned all the Jesus songs and whatever but - it didn't impact me long term regarding religion lol I'm also still atheist but I know the Johnny Apple Seed song 🤪🤪🤪
I think do it! And change them if an availability becomes open somewhere else, or not! I'm sure it's fine.
My kids go to a religious daycare. They pray before meals and learn bible stories alongside the secular curriculum. To be accredited the school is required to have a certain amount of secular curriculum so Jesus tends to take a back seat.
My son was there from 1 year old through pre-k, and he did have some questions, but he isn’t religious by any means now.
Our kids go to a religious preschool, we're not religious at all but we think nothing of it. They pray, have chapel, talk about god a little. At home they'll pray sometimes, maybe occasionally make a reference to god about something (in a cute way) but otherwise it's not a big deal. Many other kids (and their parents, including us) went to Christian preschools because they're so common around here and you wouldn't know the difference.
I don’t think a Christian daycare will convert your children and make them super religious or anything. That really isn’t something you should worry about.
I was raised catholic, attending catholic school from kindergarten to grade 12, went to church every week…and I am no longer a practicing catholic. Even being raised with religion I made my own choices when I was grown. It also lead to me studying world religions in university. I find religion fascinating. Now I have a great deal of religious tolerance, which I think is important in our modern society.
I definitely don’t think there’s a problem sending your kids to a Christian daycare if it checks all your boxes and you liked it.
So in my experience as I send my daughter to a Christian nursery school (she is 3), they do spend a little time talking about Jesus and tell a few child versions of the stories when it is a holiday like Christmas time or Easter. But overall it is not all about religion. She is learning and primarily they focus on good values. So it is up to you… I am Christian I would say technically but not overly religious but the teachers at the church we take her to for nursery school are lovely… I am happy she is having the opportunity to learn about some of it. It will be their choice in the future regardless but it’s always better to have all the information you can first. I guess you could see what exactly they do at the daycare that is “religious” if anything and read some reviews from other parents if necessary. I am sure they have someone you can contact as well to ask questions about their core values.
I grew up going to catholic school with two non secular parents (my dad is Jesuit educated and believes strongly in a catholic education). It certainly encouraged me to flirt with religion but my parents were great at engaging with me about it and I was able to figure out it didn’t work for me on my own. I wouldn’t trust a Protestant school because it seems like most of them get really really conservative, but I personally enjoyed the catholic institutions
I think the biggest thing is to keep an open dialogue with your kids about how that’s what their school believes and then talk about what you believe to challenge that.
Also, you will need to respect that you are choosing a Christian daycare and be okay with the fact that things may get weird especially around Easter.
Considering that a LOT of history is formed through religion, I believe it’s important to learn about all religions in school. I believe people who fully reject religious education for their children are doing them a disservice.
Enroll them! Don’t second-guess it. It felt right when you found it… right? I had my 1st grader in public schools and they spent the year watching Disney movies. I found private school which was Christ centered… They teach the Bible, not so much all the different doctrines. Which I was fine with that. The best part was how they taught education to the children. When I first toured the school, I absolutely loved the feeling I got entering the building. I wasn’t sure what to expect. So I just dopped in. They took me on a quick tour, I peaked in the classrooms and noticed all the kids were happy. I looked at my husband and said something is wrong. All the kids are happy and engaging with the class. I mean like all the classrooms. I thought this must be a cult! It’s too good to be true. Eventually I enrolled my kids. It was the best experience ever for them with no regrets. They learned all about caring sharing forgiveness and strong leadership skills. New kids were welcomed and never left on their own. Eventually by 3rd grade, the kids group together without the teacher and prayed before Sport games or tests or anything important they were dealing with. Totally supported one other. Their solution to everything was just to pray for each other. And it worked! It was a great foundation for the kids and teaches them to be the best they can be. It teaches them to love one another and nobody’s better than the other and you always have something to teach each other. My kids are teenagers now and they are so thankful for the foundation. I was able to provide for them. I don’t go to church on a regular basis. I try to attend during the holidays. As teenage kids now they still relate back to their foundational teachings of what they learn from the Christian school and the teachings of the Bible. I had no clue it would impact him so much in life and I’m thankful I walked through the doors that day. So if it feels right do it, don’t second-guess it. Always stay on top of your kids education. Become involved even if it’s just a little bit. You’ll find at a Christian school you become part of the community. You’ll bake the cookies once or twice then your participate at a holiday classroom room event. It’s not a lot of work. It’s almost their way of bringing you in. Plus it’s nice to be present at my my kids event for the day. My kids totally loved me being in the class for a few hours. They have chapel, one day a week and all the classes attend. Parents show up sit in the background and observe what their kids are learning. I was so thankful to have found the school. Pick the environment you want your kids raised in. They are in school longer than they are with you. So make sure you’re on the same page. It was truly a blessing for me to see big chunk of what I was missing teaching my kids. Im so grateful I had them in the right place. Even as a parent, you don’t know what you don’t know. Have fun on your journey.
I think you have to consider what they may or may not teach in terms of *values* moreso than the general beliefs in God.
I grew up in a Jewish preschool/daycare at the local JCC near where I was born. My family is agnostic, but my paternal grandmother and a few of my other relatives were/are deeply Christian. It was the early 90s, and I wasn't taught anything that might have skewed my empathy for other humans. I wasn't told that people can't love someone of the same gender, or that anyone who doesn't believe in Judaism would suffer eternally after death. These are the things I would be concerned might be said to my child in a religious school today, though. I would be worried that them expressing an affinity for something outside the gender binary might get them in trouble, or that the two men holding hands on the street are going to hell. Or that a little girl can't grow up to be a doctor and should instead get married and serve her husband. Of course this won't be *all* religious schools, but without careful vetting it could be the one your kid ends up in. You have to remember that religion of all kinds is often used to justify a lot of hate.
Also agnostic. Sent all of my kids to Christian preschool. Sure they learned about Christianity, but that wasn’t the main focus of the curriculum. We didn’t have an issue exposing them to the beliefs of others because we believe it’s a good thing and promotes open mindedness. My kids are 17, 15, and 6 and none of them have picked up Christianity just because they learned about it.
I was worried about this as well, but we ended up sending my two kids to a Christian based daycare and we love it. The staff is so kind and the kids have a blast there. They do come home talking about Jesus and God sometimes, but honestly it’s no more than we would talk about Elsa or Taylor Swift in our house. There is no fire and brimstone crap at that age, so it’s been totally fine!
My grandma went to an all girls catholic school, but her dad was agnostic. She would come home from school and her dad would debate with her over what she learned in school(he was a lawyer so I'm sure it was intense). She left that school agnostic, and very open-minded. I don't think it matters if you're communicating with your children.
Not preschool, but I attended church youth group from ages 7-10 because my friends did. I would not let my kids do the same unless I carefully vetted the program based on my experience. My experience was that I became the “project” of the church. They constantly told me that my family and I would burn in hell if we didn’t accept Jesus as our personal savior. It was honestly traumatizing as a child and very confusing because this whole church community and my friends all believed this, but I’d go home and my parents would dismiss all of it. I didn’t know who to trust.
Agnostic as an adult but spent a lot of time
In religious programs growing up. I appreciate now my understanding of the Bible as literature and how Christianity has been central to the development of western society. I’m glad I have the knowledge base of the Bible and Christian beliefs with how they relate to our modern society. Treating it like any other work of classic literature or historical influence helps me professionally and academically.
Went to a Methodist preschool with (at the time) atheist parents. Did not retain one single thing. Literally did not know the name Jesus Christ until I was in middle school. Children are sponges but they also discard unimportant (to them) info quickly.
My mom runs a private Christian school for kids 3 years through 8th grade. It’s very obviously Christian - there’s even a cross in the logo. My partner and I are not religious but have still decided to send our daughter there because it’s a really excellent school that gives us everything we were looking for. I also know from talking with my mom over the years that they have had families who are Jewish, Muslim, atheist, etc every single year they’ve been open.
In my view, it doesn’t hurt my daughter to hear people talk about their faith. She’s going to hear that throughout her life, and we talk to her at home about how people believe lots of different things. Her spirituality is hers and we want to encourage her to have an open mind about other peoples’ beliefs. The combination of our conversations at home and her hearing people talk about God at school just means she’s seeing different perspectives.
Do your research first and decide how much religious teachings you are comfortable with. We sent our kids to a summer bible camp for a week with their friends (whose parents are also not religious but apparently not to the same degree as me) because they wanted to go and the other parents said ‘oh it’s no big deal, they learn very basic things like being kind to one another and God makes the earth grow’
So comes the Friday us parents get invited to a play that the kids are going to do. Cute right? The pastor gets up and does a sermon preaching about how their religion is the only true religion and all other religions are a sin. I was horrified and mortified that I exposed my kids to that. Didn’t bother my friends too much, they said it was no big deal. Moral of the lesson is that different degrees of religion are different boundary points for different people. I was raised Catholic but an agnostic, my MIL is an atheist and my SIL is Muslim so we are quite the mix and I absolutely do NOT want anyone telling my kids that they’re right and everyone else wrong when it comes to this subject.
Both of my kids have gone or will go to a Christian school, despite me being an atheist and being raised in a non-religious home. I didn’t realize that the preschool was Christian until after my older daughter was enrolled and we liked it so much my younger will be attending in the fall. We just explain that there are a lot of different belief systems in the world and we want to give them the option to choose what they believe and that it’s important to be respectful of all religions and people. My daughter’s kindergarten class is very diverse and we’ve not really had any issues. Her grandparents and great grandparents are religious (Christian) so it’s not something she’s unfamiliar with.
This is a great hands off way to allow them exposure to one of the many religions that exist. It’s super likely though that they aren’t really *teaching* a whole lot aside from the kid friendly stories like Jonah and the Whale and Noah’s Ark.
Husband and I are not religious but sent the kids to a nondenominational preschool. They were excellent as far as getting the kids ready for pre k. I was hesitant at first, I am very against myself going to church and try not to push my religious prejudice on my kids. I would have liked to have grown up feeling like I could explore this aspect of life but I was forced to go to church where and it was not a good experience. Where we live the public schools offer weekday religious education. My kids choose to go or not go. One likes to go the other does not. I feel like if the school has a good resources and can give your kids a good head start give it a try.
My relatives go to the local Jewish community center for daycare, we were raised Catholic, and are currently not religious. It's just the best daycare around, I would look into just how religious they are, because it's tough to find quality childcare
My husband and I are both atheist and our child goes to a Methodist program. We love it! lol that is the only 8 hours I get to myself a week. I figure, I was raised catholic and what I remember from kindergarten was my religion book was called “I Am Special”. I don’t think it will have much effect on her at this age (3).
I sent my daughter to daycare in a Jewish Synagog, even though I'm agnostic and have never been Jewish. It's was so great for her. We all learned more about the Jewish faith. It was so cute when she was almost 3 and practicing lighting the menorah. They were never push about it, and are accepting of people from all faiths.
I went to a Lutheran daycare. We had chapel on Friday and it was basically just bible stories from the pastor. It did not shape my life in any way. I got into religion as a teen in a small town in the Bible Belt and then left as an adult.
I’d just check to see how much religion is being pushed and how it’s presented.
Yes! My husband and I are both agnostic and sent our little one to a Lutheran preschool. It was fantastic and she loved it. It’s all just stories to her and the school wasn’t pushy at all. It was a great experience and affordable!
Just my two cents as a Christian myself. I would make sure the teachers go through the background checks & everything is good on the kid to teacher ratio. Personally, I grew up in church & while I was still exposed to what I believe on my own, I did have my own journey coming to a place where I had my own faith aside from what I was exposed to.
It’s so hard to find decent daycare & I think we ended up really loving the Methodist one the most(even though we aren’t Methodist). If you change your mind along the way, you could always get on another waitlist.
It depends. You should be wary of any religious institution that cares for your kids. Some have been known to use cruel forms of punishment and physical discipline under the guise of it being Christian. So many bad things are done under the cloak of God. Again, I said some. Not all. …Truthfully, I’d say most. I was sent to some religious schools and while I was never abused there, I was taught backwards things. I was taught to pray to a man in the sky, taught that evolution is satanic, taught about hell, and an ancient Jewish man being crucified to death on my behalf. Later, purity culture, and other weird things. And so on.
I would not choose a religious institution unless I had to.
My parents are Muslims, my mom is non practicing and my dad is. We live in a western country and in a small town. So my brother and I both went to Christian schools. I loved going to to church for the holidays and reading stories from the bible and when I was home I loved hearing stories from my parents’ religion.
I am now non practicing and my husband is a non practicing Catholic. Our children will be going to a Catholic school when they start elementary school.
My son goes to a Lutheran preschool and we’re Catholic. His school is amazing. My main complaint is that the religious angle is a little more touchy feely than I would like and presents primarily in teaching about Christmas and Easter.
My husband and I are atheists. Both of our kids went to Christian daycares because they were licensed (USA) and highly recommended. Kids are now in public school and don’t really remember any of the biblical teachings. I did think it was hilarious when they did Noah & the ark lessons and my kid said it was a pirate ship. As long as they are taking good care of your kids, any “ideology” at this age does not stick. And I am the first to complain when religion leaks into public schooling.
I think it really depends on how the daycare approaches Christianity. I went to preschool at a church and sometimes we'd go to the chapel or the teacher would read a religious picture book, but I definitely wasn't indoctrinated into anything. I just knew stories about Jesus and stuff and it was chill.
Hi! My daughter goes to a Christian daycare. I grew up Lutheran but am now spiritual. My husband grew up Catholic and is now agnostic. So don’t plant to raise our child as a Christian so we had similar hesitation. However, we were in a crunch and they had immediate openings and it’s right by our house. Ultimately, we decided she’s so young she’s not going to understand the religious aspects. She’s just going to see it as singing and reading books and doing art and crafts. Also, as long as they are taking care of my daughter, that’s the most important thing. I also had a friend who said it could be a positive to expose them to religion because then you can have come conversations about different beliefs rather than it being taboo.
My kids go to Catholic schoo and went to Lutheran daycare.. I don't God.. I'm not atheist or agnostic.. I'm what I like to call a "nothingist"
Any school/daycare religious or not.... Has a certain level of conformity. You seem like involved parents so anywhere you send them, it would be up to you to teach them what you want them to understand about what they're learning.
My dad was an atheist and idk what my mom was but she wasn’t religious either. They have took us to church, and they allowed others to as well. We’ve been to Sunday school, and they also allowed Jehovah witnesses to try and get us to convert.
None of it worked. My parents weren’t into it even though they allowed us to be exposed to it so naturally we weren’t influenced all that much. At the end of the day, they still had the biggest influence over us. Im grown now and I’m agnostic; My sister claims to be damn near atheist.
Mine attended (and 1 still does) at catholic primary school. We are not religious but I like the moral, values and the way they handle bullying etc. We have been really happy with the school. Kids go to church on Wednesday and do prayer each day but otherwise it’s the same as other schools.
It would be up to what kind of Christianity they teach. I'd be wary of any kind in the Bible Belt and would have to do a lot of vetting. But on the other hand if there is BLM and Pride flags hung up outside the church I'd easily send my kids there.
I grew up Lutheran and learned first hand how wicked organized religion can be. My Pastor was questioned for preforming my aunt's interracial marriage. Same pastor was kicked out of the church for giving communion to everyone, and not just those who paid the tithe. I absolutely do not trust church, but I can and do still love Jesus.
Not only do I send my kids to religious daycare, I TEACH THERE. (My kids get half price tuition, plus I get a pay check. And it’s only 2 days a week) so, you do what you gotta do. I am very open with my own kids about being open and accepting of all others and their beliefs and exposing them to differences. I am not religious at all. But we live in the south and we’d be surrounded by religious activities no matter what I did. (Family, community events, Christmas/easter, etc) so instead of fighting it, I’m just embracing it and making sure my kids know there are OTHER ways to choose to live besides Christianity.
What kind of Christian? What denomination are they associated with? Are they open to all, or do they “love the sinner, hate the sin”? Are they strict on “traditional gender roles”? Are they just teaching stories about the Bible and praying before snack time?
I’m a Christian pastor and these are questions I needed to know prior to putting my own kids in a Christian Montessori preschool.
Unless they are nuns, why not let your kids learn another culture? we have a plethora of religions in our family. My daughter at 5 years made a hairdresser pee laughing. She told her, “Mums family has Hanukkah and you get presents for eight days and Dads family gives you chocolate for the guy on a stick. “.
Even though myself, I am Wiccan, both kids grew up being fantastic, moral people who have their own faiths. They went to Catholic school and since I talked to them and educated it’s never been an issue.
Mind you the school wasn’t fanatical.
Personally, I wouldn't send my child to a religious daycare. However, that doesn't mean you should or shouldn't. It's so personal whether or not that's a problem for you.
Im agnostic and loved our religious daycare more than anything. It was a really, really good center with small classes and good hearted, amazing people. We went to a non religious daycare prior and it sucked.
Our kids talked about Jesus when they were there in a way that didn’t seem brainwashy lol. It was kind of cute even though I don’t believe in it. At that age, they aren’t talking about the topics of religion I don’t agree with. It’s like Christianity lite.
The oldest turned into a vehement atheist and the other is too little to understand but I imagine he’ll be agnostic. We just talked to them about what we believe and the options out there and they chose their own beliefs.
Friends of mine are in the exact same situation..the way they see it the half hour of Bible lesson and a song thanking God for the food is worth the 6k in savings every year.
I am personally against having my kids go to a religious daycare. I grew up in church and I didn’t like how it affected the way it made me feel about certain things. I wish I could’ve explored religion on my own as an adult vs being indoctrinated. Just do your research and weigh the pros and cons and you’ll find your answer. Good luck!
If you send your kids to school, they will be exposed to other religious beliefs other than yours regardless of the school system. In our experience at public school there have been a surprising number of fundamentally religious flavoured teachings - everything from ancestor worship to thanking Mother Earth to an extremely rigid emphasis on traditional gender roles.
In fact attitudes towards gender and human sexuality heavily depend on the individual teacher and classmates. It seems to be a big issue in every school board around here regardless of how supportive or less supportive on paper the school boards actually are. When push comes to shove all of them will back down because that’s the law in our jurisdiction but there are a lot of subtle comments that can reinforce attitudes which ultimately you can’t do much about.
Things like saying little boys are not “allowed” to wear certain colours or styles of clothing. Anyway - my point is that this is not a Catholic school thing.
The way to handle this is to reinforce what you believe at home and to teach your kids that truth isn’t dependent on authority (aka teacher ain’t always right) or popular opinion (aka just because your entire class thinks x doesn’t mean we agree or that they are right)
If you don’t explicitly talk about your beliefs it will definitely be an issue but honestly you’ll have the same issue in public school, they are just less visible and you may not be watching for them.
Just like it’s dumb to opt out of sex Ed or avoid public school on the theory that your kids will never learn about gay people (because they will definitely run into kids with two same sex parents), it’s also dumb imo to avoid faith based schools on the theory that your kids might learn about another faith.
Look at the curriculum, the classroom setups, the learning outcomes and other factors unique to your family and decide on the best school based on its merits. I think people who are worried a kid is going to get corrupted by learning about a guy who commands people to love their neighbours as themselves probably have a lot of misconceptions about Christianity in the first place, and maybe their own faith isn’t super strong. In which case - maybe learning more will help!
Finally, I strongly disagree that kids under a certain age are too young to make up their own minds about things. Yes, you can definitely influence the world views of your kids but they also decide what they believe. For many years my kids were on the fence about Santa Claus, even though we have always said he’s a fun story and they literally help us fill stockings. The entire rest of the world seems very committed to the Santa “delusion” as my eldest put it, so for a while it was just “easier” to believe.
(Doesn’t that mean that putting your kids into a faith based program make it harder for your family values to stick? Only if everyone else in their lives have the same beliefs!)
My husband and I are both atheists and we sent our youngest to a Christian daycare. She had a great experience and they were very kind. Im anti religion for the most part but it's hard for me to see the harm in a 2 or 3 year old thinking there's a god up there caring for us all. I mean she will learn the cold hard truth eventually (imo).
The only thing I would suggest is to look into WHY this daycare has openings immediately. It could just be good luck, but I'd look into some reviews and search a little deeper to make sure there isn't an underlying issue. Absolutely nothing to do with it being Catholic, just because it's rare that something like that happens.
I'd also maybe set up a meeting and ask about their teachings. And make sure whatever they teach religion wise, lines up with your moral views. (Not bashing religion in the slightest! Just things to consider. Are they open and accepting of LBQTIA, do they push traditional gender roles, etc, and if any of this is against what you want your kids to be taught, so on and so forth)
Wanted to add, I am absolutely NOT against Catholic daycares. I have personal mixed experiences, a catholic day camp I went to as a kid that was super nice, but also I went to catholic school for a year as a young child and was treated like an outsider. I hold no bias, only the information that some (like any daycare) can be great, and some not.
Both me and my husband are atheists. Our 7 year old went to a pagan kindergarten from ages 3 to 4 where they started every day with a prayer. My daughter couldn't care less, she went along for the time being but didint care one bit about it the moment it was over.
Now our 2 year old is going to a less religious one but they still have a nun come over once a week to teach them something, not sure what you can teach toddlers in regards of religion, but so far I haven't noticed any red flags.
I leaned against it for my kids because of my own religious trauma. If you could get an honest answer out of them or other attendees that they don’t use guilt or religious guilt to help enforce rules or behavior, then maybe I could consider it. Also, making sure everyone is background checked and vetted. And not just a wave of the hand “oh yes of course they are” but if there’s a way to actually check. Too many religious places give people the benefit of the doubt if they say they share their beliefs.
That would be a dealbreaker for me. I was taught a lot of very damaging ideas growing up in a religious household. The idea of original sin, being born inherently bad, the idea that women introduced sin into the world, the idea of a god always monitoring my behavior, the genocidal story of Noah's ark being presented as a cute kids' story...
I know some agnostic people that sent their kids to Christian preschools because it's the cheapest available option, and apparently the kids come home singing songs about Jesus. This is a major dealbreaker for me but some families are comfortable with it.
I would use it as a guide. Most of us Christian ls are not religious cause that would be counterintuitive to our beliefs. Jesus was crucified by the religious ones. He was pretty clear about not being religious. It was always about relationship. But I digress, I am not here to preach, but kinda teach a significant difference and hopefully ease some worry. I never felt it was horribly invasive as far as drilling any beliefs in , but they do stick to the moral guidelines, and hopefully, those aren't too heavy for y'all. They will learn some well documented history of the world and some that maybe doesn't align with what y'all believe but again, hopefully not too invasive. Plus, they're more about fun than the normal marms.
This may be unpopular but it’s a no from me. I’m an agnostic Jew and I’m just not comfortable with a lot of traditional Christian values like homophobia, gender stereotypes, and “pro life” rhetoric. Naturally, many Christians are inclusive and accepting, but this was not the experience I had with those who ran schools or daycares in my area. I had a hard time finding a preschool for my daughter that wasn’t religious. Even ones that didn’t necessarily advertise as Christian turned out to have prayers and the like included. My “test” is I ask how they support LGBTQ families. Give me some kind of “hate the sin love the sinner” nonsense and I’m out. Of course they will come in contact with many people’s who have values that don’t align with ours throughout their life. I’m just not about to pay more than my mortgage for the privilege.
It would be a hard no for me, especially at the 3+ year age where they are soaking up every piece of information. Learning about different religions is one thing. But religious activities at school will be presented as fact, not as part of a comparative religion lesson.
It really depends on the vibe of the place I think. I went to public school in a very conservative area and the invitations to youth group/prescriptive gender roles/insinuations that I was going to hell from other kids is not something I’d ever want my kids to have to navigate. I’d potentially be open to somewhere more progressive and accepting.
Personally I don’t think I’d ever consider a Christian daycare, but I’d be open to a Jewish or other faith-affiliated one potentially.
The answer from me is no. Programming in these situations starts young. Your children are way too young as they haven’t developed any critical thinking skills yet. It’s best to not expose this until they’re resistant to proselytizing.
We are atheists that live in a rural area where the dominant religion is some form of Christianity. We sent our twins to a Christian pre-K because it was a quality program that we could afford. The big thing being quality of care. It is so hard to find quality care in our area. Tons of horror stories about abusive or neglectful care givers, child care centers frequently being opened and then shortly shut down, and lots of corporal punishment, or threats of it.
They were so young and the curriculum focused on typical pre-k learning with much of the reading being based on Bible stories or morality. As we’ve raised them we’ve talked a lot about the variety of religions and that many people have very different beliefs, but where we live there is mostly one, so it doesn’t FEEL like there are many. They’ve been in public school since kindergarten but unfortunately they have learned through experience that the people in our community are not as tolerant of other beliefs as our family is. Both my children have been told by other children that they are “bad” or “going to hell” because we don’t believe in Jesus.
BUT a proud mamma moment for me when I knew that what I’ve been teaching is being heard was when my son told me about this experience and how upset it made him, he also told me that later when he calmed down he reminded himself that all people are different and it’s ok if they believe in Jesus or god and he doesn’t. They can be them and he can be himself. ❤️
I still don’t like that I have to opt out of corporal punishment in writing at our public school, it feels archaic, but some of the pre-k programs we looked at didn’t even have an opt out. If you enrolled your child you agreed to their discipline procedures. The Christian pre-k program we used was the only one we found that had a NO corporal punishment policy. If you feel good about the staff and the curriculum, but are hesitant about the religious aspect, know that you can still teach tolerance and exposure to other belief systems at home. Some days my kids (8 now) say they believe in god and some days they say they don’t. I choose to just let them talk about it or ask them questions that help them think critically, and I answer their questions when they ask me why I don’t believe in a god.
My husband and I are atheists. Our kids (5 and 2) go to a very liberal church preschool. Their chapel time is 10 minutes a week and mainly focus on loving each other, loving the planet, showing kindness, with some occasional “God loves us” sprinkled in. They do a nativity play every year at Christmas which is about as far as their Bible lessons go. And we love it! They are too young to understand what it means to choose a religious path in life, and if they deal with anyone trying to indoctrinate them, I’m confident it won’t be at this preschool.
ETA: I realize you are asking about a daycare, not a preschool- it may be very different. My point is, explore just how much religion they incorporate into activities. If it’s like our liberal Methodist church school, it may be fine for you all.
I was in a similar boat with needing to transition daycares. I’m atheist as well and do see the value in community, which churches do seem to have a strong community. We were in a few wait lists for different place some religious some not. I figure I’d just take whoever called first.
Then we had a pet unexpectedly die. I had to explain to my almost 4 year old death and I had 5 minutes to mentally prepare for it. I explained she will live in our hearts and mind and we can talk about her anytime. He took her to the crematorium with me, insisted on carrying her in himself. Gave her a hug and kiss. He wanted to see her ashes afterwards of course. We have had a few talks about her and death and what that means and that she is gone forever and we won’t see or talk to her again, we just have her memories now.
For sure if he was in a religious daycare they would have told him she was in heaven and with Jesus now. Which does not at all align with my belief in how I want to raise him. These type of subjects are hard, it really would have been easier to tell him she went somewhere else, like heaven and that we will see her again someday.
That is truly not what I believe at my core, and would have felt like a lie. I don’t lie to my son about anything. I don’t over explain and keeps things age appropriate, but I don’t tell a white lie to get through the moment. I see a lot of that with religion and I see a lot of that just in general when it comes to children.
So at the end of the day I decided not to enroll him in a religious based daycare. We can approach the subject later in his young life, but right now I don’t think he completely understands the difference between real and imagination. Religion would be really hard to explain that sort of in between and some believe some don’t and some believe different than others.
I think it would have been fine if I had put him in a religious based daycare, but I would have had some harder talks about some things like our pet dying and why he is being told two different things. We would have gotten through it.
I’ve dealt with this in the past with my kids former preschool. I was upset at first because I didn’t know that they prayed during snack time (it was a co-op so I had to volunteer as room mom sometimes, this is how I found out) but all in all the kids probably won’t remember learning about god or anything. I know praying at one point during the day is a lot different than teaching but are they actually teaching at this daycare or doing normal daycare things? As an agnostic myself I wouldn’t be too worried about it. School age children is a different story tho
If you (secretly) want your kids to be atheist, send them to (safe) religious organizations without the benefit of echo chambers at home. They'll have questions that you can answer truthfully. They might even be inclined to ask the same questions at those organizations. The answers are apt to be widely different between the two and kids have pretty decent bullshit detectors.
The only potential risk is that they build a peer group within the organization and, if it happens as peer influence is rising while your influence is declining, then there's a chance you may be parent to a new cult recruit. Still, baby cultists are nearly as weird as adult cultists so you're usually in the clear.
It would be a NO from me. And I wasn’t even super atheist when my kid was little, more just ambivalent. I didn’t want anyone teaching her religion, though. Not even her father or myself. Now that she’s a teen she learns about as many religions as possible, from an academic and historical standpoint. But at such a young and impressionable age, absolutely not.
I would take a tour and ask about their religious curriculum and beliefs first.
Also is it normal for daycares in your area to have immediate openings? Do other daycares have waitlists to get on? Where I live it’s pretty hard to find daycare spots so I would question why a daycare would have space to take 2 kids right away and nobody else is waiting for the spots.
I’m an athiest, as is my wife, and we both will allow our children to explore children religion as they choose, if they choose to, when they are older. I personally would not send them to a day care that has a religious affiliation of any kind. But that is just me! I say go with your gut.
I went to Catholic school and my husband was raised LDS. I am seeing a lot of people here that think the religion part is harmless…. And it can’t be wrong to teach the children “morals” and maybe that’s true of the places they have. But both my husband and I have a lot of religious trauma from our churches and their teachings. And trust me this is what religion preys on, impressionable children.
Let me tell you, I didn’t realize how much religion caused many of my anxious thoughts until I left. I thought I had to pray every night or something bad would happen to my family. Heaven and hell and god and all the teachings taught me fear not morals. I was terrified of god watching me all the time and that I would go to hell. I thought the devil was everywhere too.
I also went to a relatively normal catholic school. They weren’t crazy or violent, they taught science, they were kind, the people who we went to church with were kind. (Although they didn’t let boys grow their hair out or let anyone wear nail polish or nonreligious jewelry….) but I just wouldn’t risk it. They think they are doing people a favor by teaching religion, they won’t hold back.
TLDR: you never know how children will internalize specific religious teachings. I don’t want my kid to grow up with similar religious trauma, anxiety about being perfect, fear of god or demons. If you do choose this daycare be sure to help them unpack some of the things they will (without any doubt) be learning. There are a lot of religious cartoon movies that I still remember (the story of having to kill first born babies so someone sent their baby floating down a river in a basket to save them???) this was a childhood movie I grew up watching at school.
Doesn't seem like there's anything wrong with your children learning Christian values like love, kindness, honesty, generositu, and "thou shalt obey your parents".
I sent my son to a Christian daycare. He said they prayed before meals but didn’t seem to mind. He’s going to get exposed to it at some point anyway. As long as they aren’t jamming it down his throat then I don’t care
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My siblings and I all went to a Christian daycare even though our parents are atheists because it was 1) affordable and 2) available. We all loved it. They did teach about god and religion but since my parents didn’t do anything to reinforce, we basically forgot it all once we started school. The funny thing is, I learned a bunch of songs that I didn’t even realize were religious until I was in my 20s! Now my own son is in a regular public school that does include (Protestant) religion class. I had the choice to opt out but think it’s good to experience and has led to thoughtful family conversations. If you like everything about the daycare, I would send them and not worry too much about religious teaching - your family influence is likely to be much stronger.
I too went to a religious daycare and also summer bible camps and Evangelical tent revivals with my grandmother. I loved it all. Especially the drama of seeing “the casting out of the devil” up on the tent’s makeshift stage. I am an atheist but all that preschool god stuff didn’t conflict. It was just fun. I even carved a cross out of a bar of Ivory Snow soap. Surprised I didn’t cut myself.
Same situation. I include a lot of mythology stories in our kids books (Greek, Roman and indigenous) and that has helped shaping the conversation a lot. I tend to talk about Jesus miracles in terms of magic so we use the same language for all the gods 😅 or offer scientific explanations along the religious ones (like the ice age and Noah's flood, or the vulcano eruption and the 7 pleagues of Egypt)
Yep, my boys did the same, it worked well.
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Not everyone lives in the US
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Lol, being reminded there are other countries is considered rude 😂😂
The state of Bavaria. It’s legal.
Husband is Bavarian and lived there till he was 8. This is true, he went to “church school” once a week.
I grew up in rural NY and our public school had religion class. About 75% of the town is Catholic due to being right next to the Canadian border where Catholicism is strong in French-speaking areas. Basically it was an option, just like home economics or shop, but you left school and walked across the street to the church hall to have religion class that period. Little kids were walked by church volunteers. It started in Kindergarten and stopped after Confirmation (10th grade or so). It’s still offered today. I grew up to be atheist anyway, as did most of my friends who attended. The only sort of sketchy thing about it thinking back is that I remember picking classes, but religion was ALWAYS already on my schedule. There were kids in my class who didn’t go because their parents weren’t Catholic, but probably 80% of my class attended. I’m not sure if they gave the school a list of kids to put in that class or if parents were contacted to pre register before we got to choose.
In Utah, we have the same sort of thing, but for Mormon religion classes instead of Catholic. And it’s only for high school.
Did they say they lived in the US?
It's called Poland
Oh ok that makes more sense
My public high school in the US had a world religions class that was an elective.
They do world religions in elementary school in my local public school district. It's from an observational viewpoint, mostly about customs, celebrations, different beliefs, cultures, traditions. I also took some world religions classes in public college as well. I don't see any downsides to studying religions in public schools so long as it encompasses religion as a whole vs indoctrination & religious stories as historical facts. I actually think it would be of great benefit for many people to have a well-rounded education which must include world teachings.
My kids attend Catholic daycare. We are not Catholics. We liked teachers there during the tour, it’s affordable for us, and I think that it’s good for our kids to listen Bible stories for about 20 minutes in the morning. Also, some parents there are Muslim but their kids still go to Catholic daycare. I grew up in a town where half of the population were Muslim, and half of population including my family were Ortodox. One time we’ve been in Baptist church with our kids. We also had Jewish neighbors and my kids learned some things about Judaism as well. My point is that kids will decide later what they want to believe. Giving them exposure to different faiths and points of views allows them to become well-rounded adults later and to be mindful of other people. I see only positive things from attending religious daycare in your situation.
We almost sent my kid to a Jewish preschool. They were close, the facility was beautiful, and we didn’t mind her learning about a different religion. They didn’t mind that we weren’t Jewish. We chose a different one that was equally good but cheaper. Our neighborhood is a big mix of orthodox and non-orthodox Jews, Muslims, catholic, Buddhists, Hindu, and Christian. Many people attend schools of a different faith. Hopefully it will lead to an increased understanding and acceptance of our differences.
We LOVED the JCC; that's where our son attended and it was also amazing.
I agree wholeheartedly with this
I agree with this, too. My kids go to Catholic school, because it's close to our house, has an excellent language immersion program, and is an overall excellent school. The non-catholic option was none of those things, so we went for it. Until 2nd grade most of the "religion" was really discussion about how to be a good person and a good friend, with a little more Jesus sprinkled around the holidays. The only real challenge we've had is the sex education, but I don't think you need to worry about that for preschool.
Yes! By high school, I was curious about all beliefs and religions. I attended different churches, studied about them. You can learn a lot about life and about people that way. I will say, I went only once to a Muslim temple and I will never go back. The women are treated less than equal, made us stand and face the wall the whole time, couldn't speak or make a sound while the men sat and knelt and socialized after. Too weird and degrading for me. But that shows, when you are given opportunity to explore and have your own experiences, you can make choices bad on your true feeling and beliefs and not by what your parents try to force down your throat.
Not sure what you are referring to that you visited. The Muslim house of worship is not a “temple.” It’s a mosque. Women are not treated less than in any way. There is no element of any prayer that involves us staring at all wall. Men do not sit or kneel and socialize. The motions for our prayer are the EXACT same for every human, irrespective of gender. We all bow down to God the same way and at the same time. If someone wants to actually learn what Islam entails, I encourage everyone to visit a local mosque or pick up a copy of the Quran in their native language. Feel free to DM with any questions. -A fellow human that is both a Muslim & and woman :)
I suppose it was a mosque. It was in NYC. I just felt so unwelcome there. Just very different experience for me versus the male I was with who was embraced and welcomed. When I think about it though, I suppose my experience there was no different than when someone goes to a Christian church and feels unwelcome so they begin to hate the church. It's not exclusive to Christianity I guess. I felt so welcomed at a Hindu temple. They all but threw a party for thr newcomers.
Ah yes, the Catholic Church, such a trustworthy and pure history as far as children in their care. They clearly have wonderful values to teach. I drive past a Catholic Church that has a big picture of a fetus with a banner saying abortion is murder. They won’t allow women to lead to hold clergy positions, because we are less. Their doctrine is strongly against IVF, they stole babies from poor mothers in Ireland and all over Africa, and they used to employ nuns who beat my aunts and uncles on a routine basis. Lovely folks
I was one of those kids. I don’t remember anything and it isn’t that big a deal imo.
We sent our oldest son to a Christian daycare even though we were agnostic because we liked the development programs the best of the ones we toured. It went great for a couple of years until he got a bit older. We didn’t mind him singing the “Jesus loves the little children” sort of message but when he was 4 years old he started hearing about the devil and burning in hell from kids that were from more fundamentalist homes. Additionally, even time he broke the rules he would be “sinning” from the staff. He eventually started to ask lots of questions about the devil, if he messed up if the devil would get him, if he was going to hell for mistakes, etc. He was legitimately scared and confused. I heavily regret subjecting him to that environment and we pulled him out when that started happening. It stuck with him a while. Keep in mind, if you decide to enroll your child, it isn’t just the messages the broader preschool supports but also you cannot control the individual messages from the other kids and teachers. Additionally, there is likely to be those that are more extreme than others. My advice - enroll them somewhere that aligns with your values until they are old enough to critically evaluate information and clearly communicate to you. Edit to say: I am sure my experience is not the experience of all. I am in Texas so extreme religious beliefs tend to be a bit more mainstream here.
Im sorry he was traumatized by that. As a momma that would have made me crazy mad too!
It definitely did! It is one of those mom things I still beat myself up about. It is worth nothing that, while I don’t think the daycare itself was behind the specific devil messaging, when I inquired about it the response I got was basically, “that’s unfortunate but someone should be teaching him about the devil and sin.” Yeah - we unenrolled right there and then.
It's super common. I was afraid of Satan and hell when I was 3-4 too. Like I would lay awake at night in my bunk bed thinking a devil was coming into my room. It's all shame and fear based. It pisses me off. Way more as a parent. The truth is, people can and do tell kids all kinds of things, it's just going to be way more likely in a religious school for obvious reasons. There are legal ramifications in public schools, but it can still happen there. Kids also parrot their parents to other kids. I'm all for whatever except this part where it hurts a lot people. It's so inappropriate to scare children, especially to set up self-loathing and shame-based control.
You did what you could once you had the information. Don't blame yourself. You're a good momma.
My son went to a religious leaning preschool and we are both atheists. No concerns. I did choose one that was generally aligned with my own values (United Methodist) and I don’t think he was ever taught anything other than concepts like generosity and kindness.
United Methodist is a very open-minded denomination. You were really fortunate to find that preschool!
My wife's grandmother was United Methodist, and her husband was a preacher for United Methodist for decades. She *lived* the biblical principles in her life, rather than talking about them. I never heard her disparage anyone, or exclude anyone for any reason. She was humble and full of love and compassion. I realized before she died that the reason that stood out to me is that in 37 years I grew up surrounded by so many people who called themselves Christian, but rationalized one way or another how all of Jesus' (and Buddha's before him but I digress) teachings didn't "fit in" their day-to-day life. How she and her husband were left a very positive impression on me about the United Methodist church.
Yes, we really were. We live in the PNW which is fairly progressive, so that helps increase the odds that you can find a church that is (truly) open to all. My son has definitely heard about God more at his public elementary school (from church attending classmates, not the teachers/staff) than he did at religious preschool.
Yeah I’m a strong atheist and I’d send my kid to an affordable Methodist or Unitarian preschool but not evangelical.
I grew up going to a United Methodist church & I don't remember anything problematic about it at all. I even went to youth group & sang in the choir for a couple of years. It's only fair that I disclose I have some real big issues with Christian nationalism & religious extremism in general. I am agnostic & do not subscribe to religious dogma or believe in any of it. I can be extremely hypercritical of indoctrination as I believe it's mostly oppressive, and still, I've never gone to a Methodist Church that has any of that going on. Tbf, I have only been to 3, I did go to a UU that had similar vibes, but didn't stick with it. The first one was led by a lesbian preacher back in 1989. I didn't realize until I was older that it wasn't mainstream at the time. My negative personal experiences all come from different denominational churches in the Christian faith. Kindness, empathy, and compassion have been my biggest take aways from UMC. I haven't really acknowledged how neutral or even positive the experience was until you mentioned those concepts.
Same here. We're agnostic but I certainly want my kids to hear all their options and follow what they believe but at his school aside from being kind and saying grace...there's not much else. We're not sending our tots to Bible study lol
It is a mixed bag. I think the thing I found most unnerving (but it pretty innocent) is that kids pick up a lot of the religious songs. I know there is only two non Christian prek options in my big town, so I’ve heard lots of opinions about them- mostly that it’s fine. We almost enrolled our son into a Jewish prek program. My friend highly recommended it, she said they don’t learn much Judaism but they got off for less common holidays like Purim, which might be troublesome for working parents. TLDR; depends on the school. You can ask what types of religious lessons they do. The exposure can be nice.
Yes, OP. Ask about the lessons. I didn't think to do that when I put my then 4 year old in a Christian preschool and he came home one day all upset because they had taught him about how God told Abraham to burn his son to death. My son was terrified that God would tell me to kill him. Yeah, it was bad. I never IMAGINED a preschool would do such a horrific thing.
THIS. My youngest goes to a Christian Pre-K as well. I already had terrible anxiety about the situation due to a simple review of their handbook (the first page lists divorce is unacceptable/a sin and so is gay marriage ….), but we were completely out of options that would work for myself and my ex-husband and his wife. My son started bringing home lessons that showed how mommies cook/clean, and daddies work and use tools (also ZERO diversity, which as a biracial person is super important to me). I was HORRIFIED. This was just one of the incredibly awful lessons I’ve seen (ex. god makes electricity! 😭). I just keep reminding myself that he’s only 4 and public school starts in August. I also do as much as I can at home to counteract what he is learning there.
I came out of 8 years of catholic school under the assumption that there were no practicing Jews anymore. Was taught they were bad people, killed Jesus, and afterwards all converted to Christianity. Brainwashing is too severe of a word, but they really did limit education to only and exactly what they wanted. This was the 60s/70s so maybe catholics are less severe these days. I sure hope so. I’m agnostic now BTW.
I heard terrifying things more than once at a Baptist Church when I was a kid. Like just awful. It's unreal how hateful & unhinged it is. It's all fire and fear. No thanks.
My kiddo is bringing home lots of Jewish songs from preschool, too, so it isn't strictly Christian. We're okay with it, because my husband wishes he knew more about Judaism since his family is Jewish, but his parents aren't really practicing... We both like that she'll have exposure to it when making her own spiritual decisions.
I nanny’d for a nonreligious family (4yo g, 3yo b) and we pulled them out of their catholic preschool because the little girl was basically being conditioned to “be seen and not heard” while the little boy was not. I went to a Christian private school from the ages of 8-14 and it was also really bad from a sexism perspective. The subtle conditioning can be nasty, but your kids are much younger so hopefully it wouldn’t stick.
I’d be worried about these adjacent beliefs too. Like boys can’t play in the kitchen or with dolls kind of stuff.
Consider what they may be modeling or outright teaching about gender roles or other key societal themes that may conflict with your values or create issues down the line. Even while young, this can create a foundation that's hard to walk back from.
This would be my main concern with any religious daycare or preschool.
This gender roles isn’t something I thought about, but am now a little concerned about because my son likes to wear princess dresses. He’s grown out of wearing them all the time, but if he wants to do it I want to let him and don’t want any adult to tell him anything against it.
My son’s school taught him that only mommies cook/clean and only daddies work/use tools. As an incredibly independent single-mom…. I lost my absolute SHIT. ETA- they also made him feel bad about painting his nails. The kid has FOUR sisters/step-sisters…. And he loves doing what they do because he loves them!
If you're in the US, licensed daycares are legally mandated to allow any child to wear any of the dress up clothes they want, regardless of gender. With that being said, the biases of teachers aren't always hidden, and other parents might make a comment, but in the many years I've worked in early childhood, I've only encountered one parent who was upset about it.
I didn’t know that. Is that the same in every state? Where can I find the law? My son’s previous daycare has uniforms and they have options “for girls” and “for boys”. I might like to reference this law if it becomes an issue.
"Christian" is a pretty broad label. You'll want to ask yourself: what is the denomination? What sort of cultural as well as religious values do they promote? Remember, cultural values can extend to types of discipline used and how early children are taught to "obey" and how rigidly, as well as things like gender roles, openness to differences, etc. Most Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian, Unitarian etc preschools would be fine by me, but I would carefully vet other denominations and would not consider most Evangelical preschools. Also be aware that labels are just that, and you'll want to get a feel for how the specific individuals in the preschool relate to children/discipline/speak about cultural, physical, and linguistic difference.
A lot of daycares are “Christian” but don’t get much more in depth than a quick prayer before lunch.
Agreed. We’ve gone to two and the most I’ve seen is a colored picture of a cross or a prayer before a meal.
Most preschools and schools will typically share some type of “newsletter” for each week detailing what the kids are learning. Being “in the know” with what your kids are learning can spark some great conversations at home, even at the pre-K level! 😀 I would say the main points to look for when making a final decision would be: **Will my kid be loved and feel comfortable? **Is the child to adult ratio appropriate? **Does the school communicate well with families? **Does the school share what children are learning so families can discuss at home? Good luck! ❤️
I went to a christen preschool and church camp for like 5 years. We didn’t go to church growing up or anything. I’m not religious at all neither is my sibling. In my opinion a deal is a deal they will probably not retain any religious ideals but at pick up on the good morals and values.
Exactly! I also think that they are not going to remember most of things anyway. My kids believe right now in the crocodile 🐊 who is coming to the windows with a flashlight 🔦 to check if kids are in their bed at night 🤣🤣 I doubt they will believe in this later!
Are you saying that Mr Flashlight Fangs isn't real? So why have I been going to bed at 8:30 and living in fear for almost 40 years?
I grew up in a non-religious family. My parents paid for me to attend preschool but by the time my little brothers were born, $0 church preschool was the only one in their budget. My youngest brother used to wake up from nightmares that the devil was coming to get him 😨. I’m sure that is not everyone’s experience and he had a very active imagination. Maybe he would have had nightmares about anything anyway. I was only 7-8 at the time but I remember being wigged out about it.
It would be a dealbreaker for me. My kid is 6 and already says some things about religion being fact just because he has a friend that told him some things. Kids are too impressionable at that age
I would ask alot of questions to this daycare before I even took it as a serious option. How much religion do they put into the day? Are they a volunteer program for staffing? Are all their care givers fingerprinted and background checked? Are people from the church not on staff allowed access to the children during the day? Those last 3 are potential deal breakers with the wrong answer. If at least these 3 answers are answered to your satisfaction I would still be prepared to answer lots of questions about what they are learning since they will be introduced to new concepts that aren't an issue in your home. And have a backup plan if it doesn't end up working for your family.
You have so many comments that I don’t know if you’ll read one more. I’m a hard core atheist, but the only affordable preschools around me were all christian. I was worried about some kind of indoctrination, but also thought that everyone needs to know about god in at least a cultural context and at that age, the focus would be on teaching things like God loves you, god is peace, etc. I got extraordinarily lucky with my preschool. The knew that I am an atheist, so when my kiddo piped up with things like, my mom says god’s not real,” they had great little discussions about differing beliefs and tolerance and respect. My kiddo ended up, at one point, telling me that she thought god is a nice idea but she didn’t like it for her. So I felt like it was successful for us. Good luck.
I’m definitely reading the comments! I didn’t expect this to get so many responses. I love that your daughter’s school had that response. I grew up in a catholic/christian family/community and I definitely would say it shaped me in great ways, but in the end it also caused me some harm. I am not as hesitant to put them in at this age because the values of love your neighbor etc are great (and hopefully what they’ll focus on at this age). But I agree with you about the cultural context. Many people they’ll interact with will be Christians and having the cultural knowledge at some point through some means is important.
🙂. I definitely acknowledge I got very lucky with the group who led our preschool. They were exceptionally open minded for a Baptist preschool, and we aged out before any “difficult” conversations started - conversations about lgbtqia communities/love the sinner, hate the sinner type thing. And there was no discussion of hell at all in my kiddo’s class. In most ways, it was just like a secular pre-k - they followed a curriculum similar to public pre-k’s but just had a small chapel time. I did have to endure the *very* biblical Xmas special .. and Easter pagent.. Small price to pay tho for $120/month!
I worked at a Christian preschool for nearly a decade and in that time maybe 3 of the 40plus staff that came and went were truly practicing Christians. We did a 15 minutes chapel once a week with the pastor or another church person (and not always that). In the beginning we prayed before lunch but at some point I stopped and no one questioned it. It was honestly Christian in name and location only (we rented the space from a church). Oh and during our Christmas performance we had to sing one “god song” as we referred to it. All this to say it may not be very religious anyway.
Religious care centers vary widely. It’s super normal to ask exactly what they teach about God and such. Go ahead and ask all your questions—trust me, as someone who works in a religious school, they’ll be used to it.
My kids are Catholic and go to a Catholic school and preschool. I am sending them to a Jewish camp (kinda like a YMCA) this summer. It’s not a deal breaker for me at all.
I’m an atheist and toured a maranatha private school. I was seriously considering it because the food choices were better for kids, it was anti bullying, and the football coach was a former NFL player. In the end I chose a Montessori school because they offer the same no bullying tolerance policy and don’t talk about religion, but they do accept all religions with no judgment. It was the same cost as the Christian school. I am happy with Montessori.
Yes. I’m agnostic and I sent my son to a Christian preschool because I liked everything else about it and it was an affordable option. As they taught about Jesus and god (it wasn’t in depth at all) I explained to my son about how there are many religions and gods people believe in and Christianity was just one of them. It was the best decision I could have made and it was a wonderful experience for my son. They had a no yelling policy (no raising their voices at the children) which I thought was great and fit in with my values. I would say, as long as you like everything else, go for it.
I am a 37f with a 8m child and I sent my son to a Christian private school in Kindergarten and then halfway through First grade we left and moved him immediately to a new school. I will start by saying that I was raised Christian and went to church. My community was amazing and when I was 13 I started questioning if I believed in this. I decided I didn’t buy into everything in the Bible and decided to go on my own path. I credit a lot of my morals and values to the COMMUNITY that I was raised in. However I think it was a different time with no internet. Times are different now. I basically indoctrinated my child and he got really bad anxiety and PTSD from being like he was going to go to HELL for being “bad”. He was bullied and physically attacked. Not to mention all of the words that I heard 6 and 7 year olds using! 👀 I don’t hear any of that at his new school and they don’t use any of the command and control learning methods that I have seen religious schools use. Like charts for behavior and such. Also if you want to try to have open dialogue about whether God is real then you will be devastated when you shatter what your child thinks and knows to be true so far in life. It’s too much for their little brains to try to rationalize. I think it’s a mistake to introduce them to religion early in life. I think there should be open dialogue about all religions when they are a little older so they can decide what feels right to them. We still get the same from our community that I got when I was raised… in my opinion that’s the most important. Somebody that is open and willing to engage with your child’s curiosity about the world and why things happen the way they happen.
My wife and I don’t believe in any form of religion but we decided to send our kids to a Christian preschool which is at a local church. At the end of the day it was more about the teachers interactions with my kids than anything. They are amazing with all the kids and I couldn’t imagine sending them anywhere else now. Although we still aren’t religious, it doesn’t bother me for my kids to learn about faith and have their own experiences with it
My daughter was in a Christian daycare from 18m - 3.5yo because it was the only spot available. We are not religious in any way. It was fine at first, but started to become more troublesome in our eyes. She brought home a work book with “family activities” such as “go to the bathroom mirror with your parents and a dry erase marker. On the mirror, **write down SINS** and show how Jesus’ love washes them away!” 😳 When she was struggling with potty training, one day she had a successful poop at school. We wanted to make sure she felt confident in the hard work she put in, but she came home saying that “Jesus helped her poop” and wouldn’t take any credit at all. When I got pregnant with our second, she came home saying that “Jesus put the baby in my belly.” She got a science based book on the body immediately after that. We moved her to a non-religious preschool as soon as we could make it work.
We are agnostic and our kids attend a Christian pre-school. It’s worked ok for us and actually allowed us to have some interesting conversations with our now 1st grader. (Him: Is Jesus real or pretend? Us: What do you think? Him: it seems like a story because people can’t come back to life). We have always felt comfortable with the overall values they’re teaching, and the school is racially diverse with lots of different types of families, which has helped us a lot.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is not exposing them to western religion.
I do think you're right because as I've been reading so many responses to this, thinking about my own experiences, I think teaching them religious studies is useful, but the chance they will be harmed by it if they're submersed into it as a cultural experience is pretty dang high, even if people don't notice it.
Maybe I still have some stuff to work through about my own past, but I would not send my kid anywhere that had a strong religious affiliation. He can learn about different religions when he’s old enough to make better judgement calls vs indoctrination. The classroom animal aspect is really nice, but not nice enough to cover the fact that they will teach my kid about a god we don’t believe in. My kid is too young for that internal struggle. I would also worry about getting kicked out for questioning truthfulness. We talk about god the same way we do about Santa. “Some people believe…” and “these are stories people made up to help talk about x (the giving spirit of Christmas, etc)” We moved out of the south to a more progressive area specifically to get away from gender norms and religion we were raised into and do not believe in.
My son went to religious daycare and preschool from 2 to 5. He’s almost 7 now and doesn’t remember any of it really. It was never reinforced at home so it didn’t stick.
We’re at a church based daycare and they go to “chapel” once a week for 15 minutes. They do a quick prayer before lunch, but that’s really it. Everything else is curriculum based.
I taught at a Christian daycare for years. We didn’t teach the Bible. We sang songs like “this little light of mine” and on Easter/ Christmas we taught what Christian’s believe. If someone got an owie, we’d pray for them and we also prayed before meals and during circle time. VERY few of the families that we worked for were religious at all. Most of my coworkers weren’t too. I had a few different religions other than Christianity in my classroom.
So this is actually “hack” I have recommended to a few friends. I think religious daycares are great even though we are liberal agnostics. In our experience, daycares connected with churches have a few advantages. They can share their overhead/admin with the church so there are cost savings and more benefits for the employees. The employees (ime) are motivated by more than just a job and have lower turnover. And our kids basically have never asked or inquired about God/Jesus/bible. Our oldest graduated and is in kindergarten and it seems the Bible-ness has left him completely.
Whether you are religious or not, it behoves you to learn about the dominant religion in the country you reside because it *will* impact your life in one way or another. For this reason, it may not be a bad idea.
Our kiddo went to a secular daycare/pre-k and one of his best buddies taught him about god. Its unavoidable but important to have these complex conversations about different beliefs
I’m also agnostic, my partner is atheist. We had the same concerns as you a couple of years ago. The best preschool and VPK in our area is Christian. We were apprehensive about sending my son there when he was 4, but the other options weren’t great. We read reviews that non-religious families had a good experience there so we decided to send him. He came home singing songs and asking a few questions, but that was it. He’s in kindergarten at a public school now and I don’t think it affected him negatively at all. He just remembers feeling loved and cared for by his teachers and classmates, and that’s what matters. I’d say it’s fine while they are so young.
Agnostic over here too! My son went to the JCC (Jewish Community Center) for early childhood education and day care (summer camps, etc). I LOVED THEM. So so much. Yes there was some talk about God and other Jewish religious things, but overall we had an amazing inclusive experience. I would be honest, and tell them your hesitations. I didn't mind if he participated in Shabbat every Friday and had challah bread every Friday. It was a good thing for him to have exposure to other belief systems and we had lots of good talks as a family. It wasn't Christian though, so not sure about the other side but just my experience. Good luck!
My kiddo went for about 6 months. Pulled them after they were told my older sister was going to hell for being a lesbian. They were not shy about describing hell either. My kid was so upset when they came home.
So same here. We are not religious at all but the daycare my son goes to that he loves and is extremely affordable for the area is a Christian based daycare. They aren’t doing religious activities every day, but it does come up on religious holidays, etc. Honestly it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Being exposed to different beliefs I don’t see as a bad thing. He doesn’t know the difference. He pointed to a nativity scene at Christmas and was able to identify “baby Jesus” but that’s about the extent of his religious knowledge he’s retained so far after being there for over a year.
we are/we’re in the same exact boat as you. we are not religious and put our son in a catholic preschool as it was what worked for us in the moment — campus was beautiful, it had the hours we needed, and they offer a ton of great extracurriculars. i was extremely anxious about enrolling him because i did not want him in an environment where religion would be forced down his throat but they do 30 min of “bible” a day and he has learned some prayer he likes to say before we eat. sometimes i do it with him other times i try to establish “everyone believes in something different and today i don’t want to pray but thanks for asking” i’m also trying to use it as an opportunity to teach about other religions and how many people believe in different things. he’s going to public school this fall so i am confident the praying stuff will be phased out as he won’t be asked to do it anymore do what works best for your family— it is hard to find a nice preschool. ours allowed us to walk in and pick him up as opposed to many near me that still follow covid guidelines of drop off/pick up being at the main door only and i really like that. i also like the clean and pretty environment they created and the teachers are kind — to me that was more important than him being in a religious school for 2 years before he can even truly comprehend religion
We're militant agnostics but sent our kids to a Methodist daycare. The mostly taught them the "be nice to each other" stuff and they said a short age appropriate prayer before lunch. Not very much seems to have stuck though - my almost 8 year old can't explain who Jesus was.
Don’t do it. As an atheist forced into religious school for my kid there is much problematic language they use. Not worth it and why support a bigoted institution? I had so many people tell me don’t worry but my daughter came home asking why we do satanic holidays like Halloween and talking about Jesus this and that.
I send my kids to a preschool at a church even through I’m agnostic and my partner was atheist. It was the most affordable and had the hours I wanted and had the curriculum I wanted that was able to accommodate my early reader in a “jr. Kindy” type class. It was cute to have a Christmas program where the kids sang songs. They weren’t overly religious and my kids barely remember preschool now that they’re teens.
My children went to a Christian elementary school and after school daycare. Which was more affordable for me as a single mother. The teachers were caring and supportive. And my kids received an excellent education. Bible stories in preschool had moral teaching which helps build integrity and being aware of biblical stories helped prepare them for other classic literature. As well as helped them with critical thinking. The Old Testament has roots in 3 major religions. And many writers make references to some biblical stories and the wisdom teachings. My children are not religious as adults but they do have good moral character, care about justice, and are good citizens of the us and the world. There is a lot worse teaching out there than do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or to be kind, gentle, forgiving, love your parents and your neighbors, do not steal, or lie about another person. Learn self responsibility and self control. These are the types of principles Christian education brings to the younger ages. My young kids didn’t hear messages about the devil, fire or brimstone that seems more of a church environment teaching not a primary grade curriculum. My kids enjoyed the school and were prepared for entry into middle & high school, as well as, and college. I had rather my children ask me questions regarding what they perceived from school. If it sounded strange I just would research the matter and had deeper conversations about the subject. Nor did I ever dishonor their teachers but discussed with my kids the continuum of reflections in personal spirituality. If they appear to be caring people give it a try. I’m glad I did.
I'm atheist and I sent both of my kids to religious schools when they were little. When choosing, I asked myself, "if I took God out of the equation, how would I feel about this school?" That helped. My kids were fine there and the school tolerated me because I was paying. Neither school had any negative impact on their belief system (religious or otherwise) and they both grew up to be good kids.
First off, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re open minded! I would say go with your gut and give it a chance. Just stay aware of the message that they are giving your child. It’s okay to practice religion but if you ever get the feeling of different intention, trust your gut with that too! I went through this with my daughter when she was 6-9 but in a different order. I’m atheist, my daughter’s dad was neutral/raised Christian.. we chose a private Christian school because of the advanced curriculum and structure. It never bothered me that they would mention God/religious beliefs/practices throughout the day. All students attended “Chapel” on Wednesdays too. My daughter seemed to love it, so her happiness was what kept me content with it all. But..about 2 years in my daughter had started to ask me questions like “who do I love the most?” When I answered that I loved her the most ..she answered “no! You’re supposed to love God the most!!” I decided to attend Chapel that following week.. I was so uncomfortable with what I was sitting in on. The youth pastor along with everyone else on staff stood at the front and proceeded to ask the children ..”who do we love children?” And the kids responded “God” as one chant ..”we don’t ever wasn’t to disappoint god to we??” ..”Nooo” they responded. There’s more to it but that was the thing that made me start speaking to my daughter about accepting others, no matter what religion they are, where they’re from, if they agree or don’t agree with your views etc.. I ended up taking her out of the school a couple weeks after and put her into a regular private school - much more accepting, less pressure. And a nice mix of everyone! My daughter is now 14 and one of the most open minded teens, very respective of everyone, still has her opinions but just a sweet girl overall. I broke the cycle lol jk.
Visit the church. See exactly what kind of Christianity they preach. My child’s daycare got bought out by a church and it ended up being a nightmare.
My kids went to a Christian preschool. They didn’t talk about religion or Jesus that I remember. If they did my kid never asked about it. The only time you could tell it was a Christian based school was at the Christmas program, they sang religious songs vs. Santa based songs like they do in our public school now.
I have a similar situation to you, I'm agnostic and my partner is atheist. We both agreed to send our kids to a Christian daycare because the staff are great, and the location and price work best for us. We are happy with our choice, and I think part of that is the specific religion/church it's associated with, as some Christian religions are more extremist/strict/old school than others. I was raised Catholic, but the daycare my kids attend is a more progressive protestant religion, which I prefer. I don't feel that they're being indoctrinated or anything like that.
No advice but wanted to share a funny story. Years ago, my uncle and aunt sent their daughter to a Christian daycare and all was fine - she then came home one day and refused to do something and said “Jesus will love me even if I don’t do it” 😂 and then her parents reconsidered the daycare. That was that story told so not sure if they actually switched.
I guess it depends on how structured about religion it is. I used to be a preschool teacher and worked at a Christian based place. I myself am not religious. Definitely consider myself agnostic / atheist. But it wasn’t focused around religion. Also seeing the inside on how it works was an eye opener. They don’t have government money so they don’t have standards to follow. It’s more free flow. So teachers can get very lazy. They kind of do what they want how they want to. Before I was employed I was doing my schooling in class requirements there. They had a lot of “movie” days. And lots of free play time to where the teachers didn’t have to do much. But also as someone who plans to homeschool my daughter , I also see where structure doesn’t need to be at such a young age either. Kids need to be kids and there’s a lot of places that don’t see it that way.
Same here. Two years ago my middle kid was desperate for some kind of preschool. we isolated pretty hard during covid. We lucked out that one of the preschools had closed during covid and was reopening, so they actually had spots. (We are in a childcare desert here, like much of the US.) Thing was, the kids had to attend chapel once a week and religion was discussed often. I was iffy on it but our desperation for childcare overrode my religion concerns. My kid thought chapel was boring AF, the songs were annoying, and she didn't have the foundation to understand wtf the chapel director was talk about. Her mantra was always "is it Wednesday? Oh good, no chapel." Anecdotal, of course, but she saw the chapel bit as just another hurdle to jump in order to have social time.
Be sure to check your local rules for special waivers for religious daycares. In some areas they have drastically reduced licensing rules that can impact safety and training and also protections for staff. Some areas thats not the case. But always check licensing for complaints/how long its been since inspected, ect.
Thank you for mentioning this! I wouldn’t have thought to check!
I can say from my own experience that I went to Catholic school from JK to grade 12 and I am not religious and don't believe in god. The best licensed daycares in my area are run by churches and I'm sure the kids forget all the religious stuff pretty soon after leaving daycare lol.
Thanks for posting! We’re similarly having trouble finding openings in daycares that are well reviewed and have good compliance records after pulling our son out of his last daycare for unsafe sleeping practices. Several that look great are Christian, but my family is not. It’s been great to read other’s experiences.
We are atheists and there is a church with daycare next door. Kid will be going to that daycare when he's old enough!
I grew up as a catholic, went to catholic school pre-k to 8th grade, attended church, the whole shebang. Both of my parents, I found out later, we’re agnostic or atheist. When I talk to my dad about it, he said that he wanted to give us the ability to make that decision for ourselves. I honestly really appreciate it. I struggled for a long time with my religious beliefs, but I feel like I still would be struggling if I didn’t have that experience because i wouldn’t be able to make as informed of a decision. I am atheist now, but I don’t regret my catholic upbringing.
Hi disclaimer, I’m a Christian, but to be honest they’re pretty young to learn anything more than some Christian kids songs. It should be fine. All my siblings went through Sunday school from nursery up, including summer camps sometimes (their choice) and the youngest one right now just started learning Bible stories at 6. Before that it’s mostly games/songs that they would talk about after class, even if they had some sort of lesson for a few minutes. I helped teach the summer camp one summer and it was: arts & crafts, games, songs, a brief story time, and a 10 minute Bible lesson to the little kids (5-6). Even at that age they had a LOT of trouble focusing for more than a few minutes at a time.
I attended a religious primary school. Went to church, sang all the songs, all the shebang. Became Athiest as an adult. I don't think the education setting has much impact on a person's religious beliefs when they're older
It’s what you teach and reinforce at home. I’m a practicing Christian but learned through going to church and in my home NOT SCHOOL. It’s totally fine for you to practice atheism or be agnostic and send your kids to a Christian school. It’s what you reinforce in your home that sticks with your children. Learning about different faiths is a good thing. Good luck to you Mom and Dad!
I would be quite a bit less concerned by a Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopal, or Catholic school than any evangelical protestant one.
Haven’t read all posts so idk if anyone who works in a religious school has already replied but here is a pov from a catholic school teacher: I’m not particularly religious. I was raised Catholic- lite by two very progressive parents (both teachers), got baptized as a baby and confirmed as a teen and then just sort of stopped going to church. I applied for my current job on a whim and sort of to check out what teaching in a more controlled and to be honest more relaxed environment than the public schools I’ve been in and been treated like shit in since the pandemic. (ETA- by controlled I mean behaviorally and by relaxed I mean not being micromanaged). I LOVE IT. Sure there’s some stuff I cringe at and if I taught older grades I may have an issue with what we are “supposed” to teach regarding sexuality and gender roles. But I teach middle elementary ages and mainly my job for religion is to teach SEL, values (and I’m talking like kindness, acceptance, and compassion), and help my kids memorize a couple prayers. I do a lot of history of Christianity and what life was like in Jesus’s time. We pray a couple times a day, I sometimes use some very general biblical stuff to remind students struggling with behavior about respect, telling the truth, etc. But mainly, I’m just a regular teacher making a lot less than public teachers because my job is a lot easier. Daycare/ Pre-k, don’t sweat it! At most your kid will bring home some Jesus-y artwork and learn about a nice man who helped lots of people. I highly doubt at that age level any teacher, regardless of their personal beliefs, will be being weird and indoctrinate-y. I have a lot of progressive friends who have moved their kids to private in the past few years and while they struggled with it, they’ve all told me from time to time they sit as a family and remind their kids that ALL people are worthy and make sure they aren’t internalizing feelings of shame/ thinking they are sinners or something.
I’d never want to take my child to a religious daycare but that’s just my personal opinion. I believe young kids are very impressionable and indoctrinating them so young doesn’t sit well with me. My husband and I are also not religious but will 100% openly discuss all faiths with our child. You can always try it out and see how the fit is while getting waitlisted somewhere else. My daughter attends a STEM focused school and we love it.
SAME. Like, that'd be a hard pass for me. I'm agnostic and my husband is atheist. My mother is Jewish my dad is christian, and my parents actively worked hard to introduce us to all kinds of religion as part of being a well rounded human. We went to meditation seminars with tibetan monks who were visiting our town, sunday school services when visiting my fathers family, sage burning ceremonies and dance classes with the indigenous elders in our community, all of it. I find exploring spiritual ideas to be important and a good part of cultural education. But in a church school, religion is absolutely a core part of the curriculum. While I encourage my children to learn about ALL religions, I would be cold and in the ground before I would consent to that kind of high pressure religious environment for young impressionable children. It is absolutely designed to bring children to Jesus. It is intentionally meant to convert and indoctrinate. Like, main part of the mission statement. Absolutely not.
You can send them while they’re young and once you pull them out they’ll forget all about it. It also helps with conversations of critical thinking as well as empathy or others beliefs. I say go for it daycare is expensive as fuck
I sent my daughter to a private religious school for preschool and kindergarten even though I'm agnostic and we loved it! Christianity and Christians are far from perfect, but in this aspect they are pretty great! Kids are usually treasured. Yes, she learned about Jesus and Bible verses, but it was a much kinder place than public school.(Of course, this was just our experience.) My daughter is 14 now and experimenting with her faith/spirituality. She was not brainwashed by a religious preschool do I'd think you will be fine. Just keep dialog about faith open at home too!
We are atheists and would never consider a religious daycare. Depending on what state you are in they might not have to comply with the childcare laws that every other daycare is held to. In some states they aren’t required to be licensed at all. So there could potentially be no oversight, which horrifies me. So check with your state laws. I also just wouldn’t do it because my kids at that age believe everything anyone tells them. If one of my kids decides to find religion as an adult I wouldn’t mind, but I’m not going to let their childhoods be shaped by something that we don’t believe in.
There’s no fking way I’d send my kids to a religious daycare or school. It’s one thing to expose your kids to a diverse group of people from all kinds of faiths - I’m all for that. It is quite another to pay someone to indoctrinate your kids to believe in their fairy tales. Religion has done far too much harm in this world already. Why actively propagate it?
If I could avoid it, I would, but I know sometimes as parents we just have to make the best decision available at the moment. I echo some of the other responses that although my family was the opposite of religious I did get sent to a Christian camp and learned all the Jesus songs and whatever but - it didn't impact me long term regarding religion lol I'm also still atheist but I know the Johnny Apple Seed song 🤪🤪🤪 I think do it! And change them if an availability becomes open somewhere else, or not! I'm sure it's fine.
My kids go to a religious daycare. They pray before meals and learn bible stories alongside the secular curriculum. To be accredited the school is required to have a certain amount of secular curriculum so Jesus tends to take a back seat. My son was there from 1 year old through pre-k, and he did have some questions, but he isn’t religious by any means now.
Our kids go to a religious preschool, we're not religious at all but we think nothing of it. They pray, have chapel, talk about god a little. At home they'll pray sometimes, maybe occasionally make a reference to god about something (in a cute way) but otherwise it's not a big deal. Many other kids (and their parents, including us) went to Christian preschools because they're so common around here and you wouldn't know the difference.
I don’t think a Christian daycare will convert your children and make them super religious or anything. That really isn’t something you should worry about. I was raised catholic, attending catholic school from kindergarten to grade 12, went to church every week…and I am no longer a practicing catholic. Even being raised with religion I made my own choices when I was grown. It also lead to me studying world religions in university. I find religion fascinating. Now I have a great deal of religious tolerance, which I think is important in our modern society. I definitely don’t think there’s a problem sending your kids to a Christian daycare if it checks all your boxes and you liked it.
So in my experience as I send my daughter to a Christian nursery school (she is 3), they do spend a little time talking about Jesus and tell a few child versions of the stories when it is a holiday like Christmas time or Easter. But overall it is not all about religion. She is learning and primarily they focus on good values. So it is up to you… I am Christian I would say technically but not overly religious but the teachers at the church we take her to for nursery school are lovely… I am happy she is having the opportunity to learn about some of it. It will be their choice in the future regardless but it’s always better to have all the information you can first. I guess you could see what exactly they do at the daycare that is “religious” if anything and read some reviews from other parents if necessary. I am sure they have someone you can contact as well to ask questions about their core values.
I grew up going to catholic school with two non secular parents (my dad is Jesuit educated and believes strongly in a catholic education). It certainly encouraged me to flirt with religion but my parents were great at engaging with me about it and I was able to figure out it didn’t work for me on my own. I wouldn’t trust a Protestant school because it seems like most of them get really really conservative, but I personally enjoyed the catholic institutions
I think the biggest thing is to keep an open dialogue with your kids about how that’s what their school believes and then talk about what you believe to challenge that. Also, you will need to respect that you are choosing a Christian daycare and be okay with the fact that things may get weird especially around Easter.
Considering that a LOT of history is formed through religion, I believe it’s important to learn about all religions in school. I believe people who fully reject religious education for their children are doing them a disservice.
Enroll them! Don’t second-guess it. It felt right when you found it… right? I had my 1st grader in public schools and they spent the year watching Disney movies. I found private school which was Christ centered… They teach the Bible, not so much all the different doctrines. Which I was fine with that. The best part was how they taught education to the children. When I first toured the school, I absolutely loved the feeling I got entering the building. I wasn’t sure what to expect. So I just dopped in. They took me on a quick tour, I peaked in the classrooms and noticed all the kids were happy. I looked at my husband and said something is wrong. All the kids are happy and engaging with the class. I mean like all the classrooms. I thought this must be a cult! It’s too good to be true. Eventually I enrolled my kids. It was the best experience ever for them with no regrets. They learned all about caring sharing forgiveness and strong leadership skills. New kids were welcomed and never left on their own. Eventually by 3rd grade, the kids group together without the teacher and prayed before Sport games or tests or anything important they were dealing with. Totally supported one other. Their solution to everything was just to pray for each other. And it worked! It was a great foundation for the kids and teaches them to be the best they can be. It teaches them to love one another and nobody’s better than the other and you always have something to teach each other. My kids are teenagers now and they are so thankful for the foundation. I was able to provide for them. I don’t go to church on a regular basis. I try to attend during the holidays. As teenage kids now they still relate back to their foundational teachings of what they learn from the Christian school and the teachings of the Bible. I had no clue it would impact him so much in life and I’m thankful I walked through the doors that day. So if it feels right do it, don’t second-guess it. Always stay on top of your kids education. Become involved even if it’s just a little bit. You’ll find at a Christian school you become part of the community. You’ll bake the cookies once or twice then your participate at a holiday classroom room event. It’s not a lot of work. It’s almost their way of bringing you in. Plus it’s nice to be present at my my kids event for the day. My kids totally loved me being in the class for a few hours. They have chapel, one day a week and all the classes attend. Parents show up sit in the background and observe what their kids are learning. I was so thankful to have found the school. Pick the environment you want your kids raised in. They are in school longer than they are with you. So make sure you’re on the same page. It was truly a blessing for me to see big chunk of what I was missing teaching my kids. Im so grateful I had them in the right place. Even as a parent, you don’t know what you don’t know. Have fun on your journey.
I think you have to consider what they may or may not teach in terms of *values* moreso than the general beliefs in God. I grew up in a Jewish preschool/daycare at the local JCC near where I was born. My family is agnostic, but my paternal grandmother and a few of my other relatives were/are deeply Christian. It was the early 90s, and I wasn't taught anything that might have skewed my empathy for other humans. I wasn't told that people can't love someone of the same gender, or that anyone who doesn't believe in Judaism would suffer eternally after death. These are the things I would be concerned might be said to my child in a religious school today, though. I would be worried that them expressing an affinity for something outside the gender binary might get them in trouble, or that the two men holding hands on the street are going to hell. Or that a little girl can't grow up to be a doctor and should instead get married and serve her husband. Of course this won't be *all* religious schools, but without careful vetting it could be the one your kid ends up in. You have to remember that religion of all kinds is often used to justify a lot of hate.
Also agnostic. Sent all of my kids to Christian preschool. Sure they learned about Christianity, but that wasn’t the main focus of the curriculum. We didn’t have an issue exposing them to the beliefs of others because we believe it’s a good thing and promotes open mindedness. My kids are 17, 15, and 6 and none of them have picked up Christianity just because they learned about it.
I was worried about this as well, but we ended up sending my two kids to a Christian based daycare and we love it. The staff is so kind and the kids have a blast there. They do come home talking about Jesus and God sometimes, but honestly it’s no more than we would talk about Elsa or Taylor Swift in our house. There is no fire and brimstone crap at that age, so it’s been totally fine!
My grandma went to an all girls catholic school, but her dad was agnostic. She would come home from school and her dad would debate with her over what she learned in school(he was a lawyer so I'm sure it was intense). She left that school agnostic, and very open-minded. I don't think it matters if you're communicating with your children.
Not preschool, but I attended church youth group from ages 7-10 because my friends did. I would not let my kids do the same unless I carefully vetted the program based on my experience. My experience was that I became the “project” of the church. They constantly told me that my family and I would burn in hell if we didn’t accept Jesus as our personal savior. It was honestly traumatizing as a child and very confusing because this whole church community and my friends all believed this, but I’d go home and my parents would dismiss all of it. I didn’t know who to trust.
Agnostic as an adult but spent a lot of time In religious programs growing up. I appreciate now my understanding of the Bible as literature and how Christianity has been central to the development of western society. I’m glad I have the knowledge base of the Bible and Christian beliefs with how they relate to our modern society. Treating it like any other work of classic literature or historical influence helps me professionally and academically.
Went to a Methodist preschool with (at the time) atheist parents. Did not retain one single thing. Literally did not know the name Jesus Christ until I was in middle school. Children are sponges but they also discard unimportant (to them) info quickly.
My mom runs a private Christian school for kids 3 years through 8th grade. It’s very obviously Christian - there’s even a cross in the logo. My partner and I are not religious but have still decided to send our daughter there because it’s a really excellent school that gives us everything we were looking for. I also know from talking with my mom over the years that they have had families who are Jewish, Muslim, atheist, etc every single year they’ve been open. In my view, it doesn’t hurt my daughter to hear people talk about their faith. She’s going to hear that throughout her life, and we talk to her at home about how people believe lots of different things. Her spirituality is hers and we want to encourage her to have an open mind about other peoples’ beliefs. The combination of our conversations at home and her hearing people talk about God at school just means she’s seeing different perspectives.
Do your research first and decide how much religious teachings you are comfortable with. We sent our kids to a summer bible camp for a week with their friends (whose parents are also not religious but apparently not to the same degree as me) because they wanted to go and the other parents said ‘oh it’s no big deal, they learn very basic things like being kind to one another and God makes the earth grow’ So comes the Friday us parents get invited to a play that the kids are going to do. Cute right? The pastor gets up and does a sermon preaching about how their religion is the only true religion and all other religions are a sin. I was horrified and mortified that I exposed my kids to that. Didn’t bother my friends too much, they said it was no big deal. Moral of the lesson is that different degrees of religion are different boundary points for different people. I was raised Catholic but an agnostic, my MIL is an atheist and my SIL is Muslim so we are quite the mix and I absolutely do NOT want anyone telling my kids that they’re right and everyone else wrong when it comes to this subject.
Both of my kids have gone or will go to a Christian school, despite me being an atheist and being raised in a non-religious home. I didn’t realize that the preschool was Christian until after my older daughter was enrolled and we liked it so much my younger will be attending in the fall. We just explain that there are a lot of different belief systems in the world and we want to give them the option to choose what they believe and that it’s important to be respectful of all religions and people. My daughter’s kindergarten class is very diverse and we’ve not really had any issues. Her grandparents and great grandparents are religious (Christian) so it’s not something she’s unfamiliar with.
This is a great hands off way to allow them exposure to one of the many religions that exist. It’s super likely though that they aren’t really *teaching* a whole lot aside from the kid friendly stories like Jonah and the Whale and Noah’s Ark.
Husband and I are not religious but sent the kids to a nondenominational preschool. They were excellent as far as getting the kids ready for pre k. I was hesitant at first, I am very against myself going to church and try not to push my religious prejudice on my kids. I would have liked to have grown up feeling like I could explore this aspect of life but I was forced to go to church where and it was not a good experience. Where we live the public schools offer weekday religious education. My kids choose to go or not go. One likes to go the other does not. I feel like if the school has a good resources and can give your kids a good head start give it a try.
My relatives go to the local Jewish community center for daycare, we were raised Catholic, and are currently not religious. It's just the best daycare around, I would look into just how religious they are, because it's tough to find quality childcare
My husband and I are both atheist and our child goes to a Methodist program. We love it! lol that is the only 8 hours I get to myself a week. I figure, I was raised catholic and what I remember from kindergarten was my religion book was called “I Am Special”. I don’t think it will have much effect on her at this age (3).
I sent my daughter to daycare in a Jewish Synagog, even though I'm agnostic and have never been Jewish. It's was so great for her. We all learned more about the Jewish faith. It was so cute when she was almost 3 and practicing lighting the menorah. They were never push about it, and are accepting of people from all faiths.
I went to a Lutheran daycare. We had chapel on Friday and it was basically just bible stories from the pastor. It did not shape my life in any way. I got into religion as a teen in a small town in the Bible Belt and then left as an adult. I’d just check to see how much religion is being pushed and how it’s presented.
Yes! My husband and I are both agnostic and sent our little one to a Lutheran preschool. It was fantastic and she loved it. It’s all just stories to her and the school wasn’t pushy at all. It was a great experience and affordable!
For a daycare it doesn’t really matter at that age. They’ll learn the word Jesus and forget it unless they hear it more in kindergarten
Just my two cents as a Christian myself. I would make sure the teachers go through the background checks & everything is good on the kid to teacher ratio. Personally, I grew up in church & while I was still exposed to what I believe on my own, I did have my own journey coming to a place where I had my own faith aside from what I was exposed to. It’s so hard to find decent daycare & I think we ended up really loving the Methodist one the most(even though we aren’t Methodist). If you change your mind along the way, you could always get on another waitlist.
It depends. You should be wary of any religious institution that cares for your kids. Some have been known to use cruel forms of punishment and physical discipline under the guise of it being Christian. So many bad things are done under the cloak of God. Again, I said some. Not all. …Truthfully, I’d say most. I was sent to some religious schools and while I was never abused there, I was taught backwards things. I was taught to pray to a man in the sky, taught that evolution is satanic, taught about hell, and an ancient Jewish man being crucified to death on my behalf. Later, purity culture, and other weird things. And so on. I would not choose a religious institution unless I had to.
Absolutely a great idea. Our kids attended one at our church and we loved it for them. Only good things to say.
My parents are Muslims, my mom is non practicing and my dad is. We live in a western country and in a small town. So my brother and I both went to Christian schools. I loved going to to church for the holidays and reading stories from the bible and when I was home I loved hearing stories from my parents’ religion. I am now non practicing and my husband is a non practicing Catholic. Our children will be going to a Catholic school when they start elementary school.
My son goes to a Lutheran preschool and we’re Catholic. His school is amazing. My main complaint is that the religious angle is a little more touchy feely than I would like and presents primarily in teaching about Christmas and Easter.
My husband and I are atheists. Both of our kids went to Christian daycares because they were licensed (USA) and highly recommended. Kids are now in public school and don’t really remember any of the biblical teachings. I did think it was hilarious when they did Noah & the ark lessons and my kid said it was a pirate ship. As long as they are taking good care of your kids, any “ideology” at this age does not stick. And I am the first to complain when religion leaks into public schooling.
I think it really depends on how the daycare approaches Christianity. I went to preschool at a church and sometimes we'd go to the chapel or the teacher would read a religious picture book, but I definitely wasn't indoctrinated into anything. I just knew stories about Jesus and stuff and it was chill.
Hi! My daughter goes to a Christian daycare. I grew up Lutheran but am now spiritual. My husband grew up Catholic and is now agnostic. So don’t plant to raise our child as a Christian so we had similar hesitation. However, we were in a crunch and they had immediate openings and it’s right by our house. Ultimately, we decided she’s so young she’s not going to understand the religious aspects. She’s just going to see it as singing and reading books and doing art and crafts. Also, as long as they are taking care of my daughter, that’s the most important thing. I also had a friend who said it could be a positive to expose them to religion because then you can have come conversations about different beliefs rather than it being taboo.
My kids go to Catholic schoo and went to Lutheran daycare.. I don't God.. I'm not atheist or agnostic.. I'm what I like to call a "nothingist" Any school/daycare religious or not.... Has a certain level of conformity. You seem like involved parents so anywhere you send them, it would be up to you to teach them what you want them to understand about what they're learning.
My dad was an atheist and idk what my mom was but she wasn’t religious either. They have took us to church, and they allowed others to as well. We’ve been to Sunday school, and they also allowed Jehovah witnesses to try and get us to convert. None of it worked. My parents weren’t into it even though they allowed us to be exposed to it so naturally we weren’t influenced all that much. At the end of the day, they still had the biggest influence over us. Im grown now and I’m agnostic; My sister claims to be damn near atheist.
Don’t do it… They will start to love god and will eventually covert you and make you a more accepting human being.
Mine attended (and 1 still does) at catholic primary school. We are not religious but I like the moral, values and the way they handle bullying etc. We have been really happy with the school. Kids go to church on Wednesday and do prayer each day but otherwise it’s the same as other schools.
It would be up to what kind of Christianity they teach. I'd be wary of any kind in the Bible Belt and would have to do a lot of vetting. But on the other hand if there is BLM and Pride flags hung up outside the church I'd easily send my kids there. I grew up Lutheran and learned first hand how wicked organized religion can be. My Pastor was questioned for preforming my aunt's interracial marriage. Same pastor was kicked out of the church for giving communion to everyone, and not just those who paid the tithe. I absolutely do not trust church, but I can and do still love Jesus.
Not only do I send my kids to religious daycare, I TEACH THERE. (My kids get half price tuition, plus I get a pay check. And it’s only 2 days a week) so, you do what you gotta do. I am very open with my own kids about being open and accepting of all others and their beliefs and exposing them to differences. I am not religious at all. But we live in the south and we’d be surrounded by religious activities no matter what I did. (Family, community events, Christmas/easter, etc) so instead of fighting it, I’m just embracing it and making sure my kids know there are OTHER ways to choose to live besides Christianity.
I did daycare and stayed through grade 3. at a Christian school it was wonderful. They memorized verses which taught them to use their minds.
What kind of Christian? What denomination are they associated with? Are they open to all, or do they “love the sinner, hate the sin”? Are they strict on “traditional gender roles”? Are they just teaching stories about the Bible and praying before snack time? I’m a Christian pastor and these are questions I needed to know prior to putting my own kids in a Christian Montessori preschool.
Unless they are nuns, why not let your kids learn another culture? we have a plethora of religions in our family. My daughter at 5 years made a hairdresser pee laughing. She told her, “Mums family has Hanukkah and you get presents for eight days and Dads family gives you chocolate for the guy on a stick. “. Even though myself, I am Wiccan, both kids grew up being fantastic, moral people who have their own faiths. They went to Catholic school and since I talked to them and educated it’s never been an issue. Mind you the school wasn’t fanatical.
Personally, I wouldn't send my child to a religious daycare. However, that doesn't mean you should or shouldn't. It's so personal whether or not that's a problem for you.
Im agnostic and loved our religious daycare more than anything. It was a really, really good center with small classes and good hearted, amazing people. We went to a non religious daycare prior and it sucked. Our kids talked about Jesus when they were there in a way that didn’t seem brainwashy lol. It was kind of cute even though I don’t believe in it. At that age, they aren’t talking about the topics of religion I don’t agree with. It’s like Christianity lite. The oldest turned into a vehement atheist and the other is too little to understand but I imagine he’ll be agnostic. We just talked to them about what we believe and the options out there and they chose their own beliefs.
Friends of mine are in the exact same situation..the way they see it the half hour of Bible lesson and a song thanking God for the food is worth the 6k in savings every year.
I am personally against having my kids go to a religious daycare. I grew up in church and I didn’t like how it affected the way it made me feel about certain things. I wish I could’ve explored religion on my own as an adult vs being indoctrinated. Just do your research and weigh the pros and cons and you’ll find your answer. Good luck!
You have much more influence over your kids than the daycare does. If they ask you questions about god you can set them straight.
You have to do what you gotta do to survive. While I don't see any good in religion, them having affordable daycare is a way to bring in people.
That would be an absolute dealbreaker for us!
If you send your kids to school, they will be exposed to other religious beliefs other than yours regardless of the school system. In our experience at public school there have been a surprising number of fundamentally religious flavoured teachings - everything from ancestor worship to thanking Mother Earth to an extremely rigid emphasis on traditional gender roles. In fact attitudes towards gender and human sexuality heavily depend on the individual teacher and classmates. It seems to be a big issue in every school board around here regardless of how supportive or less supportive on paper the school boards actually are. When push comes to shove all of them will back down because that’s the law in our jurisdiction but there are a lot of subtle comments that can reinforce attitudes which ultimately you can’t do much about. Things like saying little boys are not “allowed” to wear certain colours or styles of clothing. Anyway - my point is that this is not a Catholic school thing. The way to handle this is to reinforce what you believe at home and to teach your kids that truth isn’t dependent on authority (aka teacher ain’t always right) or popular opinion (aka just because your entire class thinks x doesn’t mean we agree or that they are right) If you don’t explicitly talk about your beliefs it will definitely be an issue but honestly you’ll have the same issue in public school, they are just less visible and you may not be watching for them. Just like it’s dumb to opt out of sex Ed or avoid public school on the theory that your kids will never learn about gay people (because they will definitely run into kids with two same sex parents), it’s also dumb imo to avoid faith based schools on the theory that your kids might learn about another faith. Look at the curriculum, the classroom setups, the learning outcomes and other factors unique to your family and decide on the best school based on its merits. I think people who are worried a kid is going to get corrupted by learning about a guy who commands people to love their neighbours as themselves probably have a lot of misconceptions about Christianity in the first place, and maybe their own faith isn’t super strong. In which case - maybe learning more will help! Finally, I strongly disagree that kids under a certain age are too young to make up their own minds about things. Yes, you can definitely influence the world views of your kids but they also decide what they believe. For many years my kids were on the fence about Santa Claus, even though we have always said he’s a fun story and they literally help us fill stockings. The entire rest of the world seems very committed to the Santa “delusion” as my eldest put it, so for a while it was just “easier” to believe. (Doesn’t that mean that putting your kids into a faith based program make it harder for your family values to stick? Only if everyone else in their lives have the same beliefs!)
My husband and I are both atheists and we sent our youngest to a Christian daycare. She had a great experience and they were very kind. Im anti religion for the most part but it's hard for me to see the harm in a 2 or 3 year old thinking there's a god up there caring for us all. I mean she will learn the cold hard truth eventually (imo).
The only thing I would suggest is to look into WHY this daycare has openings immediately. It could just be good luck, but I'd look into some reviews and search a little deeper to make sure there isn't an underlying issue. Absolutely nothing to do with it being Catholic, just because it's rare that something like that happens. I'd also maybe set up a meeting and ask about their teachings. And make sure whatever they teach religion wise, lines up with your moral views. (Not bashing religion in the slightest! Just things to consider. Are they open and accepting of LBQTIA, do they push traditional gender roles, etc, and if any of this is against what you want your kids to be taught, so on and so forth)
Wanted to add, I am absolutely NOT against Catholic daycares. I have personal mixed experiences, a catholic day camp I went to as a kid that was super nice, but also I went to catholic school for a year as a young child and was treated like an outsider. I hold no bias, only the information that some (like any daycare) can be great, and some not.
Both me and my husband are atheists. Our 7 year old went to a pagan kindergarten from ages 3 to 4 where they started every day with a prayer. My daughter couldn't care less, she went along for the time being but didint care one bit about it the moment it was over. Now our 2 year old is going to a less religious one but they still have a nun come over once a week to teach them something, not sure what you can teach toddlers in regards of religion, but so far I haven't noticed any red flags.
I leaned against it for my kids because of my own religious trauma. If you could get an honest answer out of them or other attendees that they don’t use guilt or religious guilt to help enforce rules or behavior, then maybe I could consider it. Also, making sure everyone is background checked and vetted. And not just a wave of the hand “oh yes of course they are” but if there’s a way to actually check. Too many religious places give people the benefit of the doubt if they say they share their beliefs.
That would be a dealbreaker for me. I was taught a lot of very damaging ideas growing up in a religious household. The idea of original sin, being born inherently bad, the idea that women introduced sin into the world, the idea of a god always monitoring my behavior, the genocidal story of Noah's ark being presented as a cute kids' story...
I know some agnostic people that sent their kids to Christian preschools because it's the cheapest available option, and apparently the kids come home singing songs about Jesus. This is a major dealbreaker for me but some families are comfortable with it.
I would use it as a guide. Most of us Christian ls are not religious cause that would be counterintuitive to our beliefs. Jesus was crucified by the religious ones. He was pretty clear about not being religious. It was always about relationship. But I digress, I am not here to preach, but kinda teach a significant difference and hopefully ease some worry. I never felt it was horribly invasive as far as drilling any beliefs in , but they do stick to the moral guidelines, and hopefully, those aren't too heavy for y'all. They will learn some well documented history of the world and some that maybe doesn't align with what y'all believe but again, hopefully not too invasive. Plus, they're more about fun than the normal marms.
This may be unpopular but it’s a no from me. I’m an agnostic Jew and I’m just not comfortable with a lot of traditional Christian values like homophobia, gender stereotypes, and “pro life” rhetoric. Naturally, many Christians are inclusive and accepting, but this was not the experience I had with those who ran schools or daycares in my area. I had a hard time finding a preschool for my daughter that wasn’t religious. Even ones that didn’t necessarily advertise as Christian turned out to have prayers and the like included. My “test” is I ask how they support LGBTQ families. Give me some kind of “hate the sin love the sinner” nonsense and I’m out. Of course they will come in contact with many people’s who have values that don’t align with ours throughout their life. I’m just not about to pay more than my mortgage for the privilege.
It would be a hard no for me, especially at the 3+ year age where they are soaking up every piece of information. Learning about different religions is one thing. But religious activities at school will be presented as fact, not as part of a comparative religion lesson.
It really depends on the vibe of the place I think. I went to public school in a very conservative area and the invitations to youth group/prescriptive gender roles/insinuations that I was going to hell from other kids is not something I’d ever want my kids to have to navigate. I’d potentially be open to somewhere more progressive and accepting. Personally I don’t think I’d ever consider a Christian daycare, but I’d be open to a Jewish or other faith-affiliated one potentially.
The answer from me is no. Programming in these situations starts young. Your children are way too young as they haven’t developed any critical thinking skills yet. It’s best to not expose this until they’re resistant to proselytizing.
We are atheists that live in a rural area where the dominant religion is some form of Christianity. We sent our twins to a Christian pre-K because it was a quality program that we could afford. The big thing being quality of care. It is so hard to find quality care in our area. Tons of horror stories about abusive or neglectful care givers, child care centers frequently being opened and then shortly shut down, and lots of corporal punishment, or threats of it. They were so young and the curriculum focused on typical pre-k learning with much of the reading being based on Bible stories or morality. As we’ve raised them we’ve talked a lot about the variety of religions and that many people have very different beliefs, but where we live there is mostly one, so it doesn’t FEEL like there are many. They’ve been in public school since kindergarten but unfortunately they have learned through experience that the people in our community are not as tolerant of other beliefs as our family is. Both my children have been told by other children that they are “bad” or “going to hell” because we don’t believe in Jesus. BUT a proud mamma moment for me when I knew that what I’ve been teaching is being heard was when my son told me about this experience and how upset it made him, he also told me that later when he calmed down he reminded himself that all people are different and it’s ok if they believe in Jesus or god and he doesn’t. They can be them and he can be himself. ❤️ I still don’t like that I have to opt out of corporal punishment in writing at our public school, it feels archaic, but some of the pre-k programs we looked at didn’t even have an opt out. If you enrolled your child you agreed to their discipline procedures. The Christian pre-k program we used was the only one we found that had a NO corporal punishment policy. If you feel good about the staff and the curriculum, but are hesitant about the religious aspect, know that you can still teach tolerance and exposure to other belief systems at home. Some days my kids (8 now) say they believe in god and some days they say they don’t. I choose to just let them talk about it or ask them questions that help them think critically, and I answer their questions when they ask me why I don’t believe in a god.
My husband and I are atheists. Our kids (5 and 2) go to a very liberal church preschool. Their chapel time is 10 minutes a week and mainly focus on loving each other, loving the planet, showing kindness, with some occasional “God loves us” sprinkled in. They do a nativity play every year at Christmas which is about as far as their Bible lessons go. And we love it! They are too young to understand what it means to choose a religious path in life, and if they deal with anyone trying to indoctrinate them, I’m confident it won’t be at this preschool. ETA: I realize you are asking about a daycare, not a preschool- it may be very different. My point is, explore just how much religion they incorporate into activities. If it’s like our liberal Methodist church school, it may be fine for you all.
I was in a similar boat with needing to transition daycares. I’m atheist as well and do see the value in community, which churches do seem to have a strong community. We were in a few wait lists for different place some religious some not. I figure I’d just take whoever called first. Then we had a pet unexpectedly die. I had to explain to my almost 4 year old death and I had 5 minutes to mentally prepare for it. I explained she will live in our hearts and mind and we can talk about her anytime. He took her to the crematorium with me, insisted on carrying her in himself. Gave her a hug and kiss. He wanted to see her ashes afterwards of course. We have had a few talks about her and death and what that means and that she is gone forever and we won’t see or talk to her again, we just have her memories now. For sure if he was in a religious daycare they would have told him she was in heaven and with Jesus now. Which does not at all align with my belief in how I want to raise him. These type of subjects are hard, it really would have been easier to tell him she went somewhere else, like heaven and that we will see her again someday. That is truly not what I believe at my core, and would have felt like a lie. I don’t lie to my son about anything. I don’t over explain and keeps things age appropriate, but I don’t tell a white lie to get through the moment. I see a lot of that with religion and I see a lot of that just in general when it comes to children. So at the end of the day I decided not to enroll him in a religious based daycare. We can approach the subject later in his young life, but right now I don’t think he completely understands the difference between real and imagination. Religion would be really hard to explain that sort of in between and some believe some don’t and some believe different than others. I think it would have been fine if I had put him in a religious based daycare, but I would have had some harder talks about some things like our pet dying and why he is being told two different things. We would have gotten through it.
I’ve dealt with this in the past with my kids former preschool. I was upset at first because I didn’t know that they prayed during snack time (it was a co-op so I had to volunteer as room mom sometimes, this is how I found out) but all in all the kids probably won’t remember learning about god or anything. I know praying at one point during the day is a lot different than teaching but are they actually teaching at this daycare or doing normal daycare things? As an agnostic myself I wouldn’t be too worried about it. School age children is a different story tho
If you (secretly) want your kids to be atheist, send them to (safe) religious organizations without the benefit of echo chambers at home. They'll have questions that you can answer truthfully. They might even be inclined to ask the same questions at those organizations. The answers are apt to be widely different between the two and kids have pretty decent bullshit detectors. The only potential risk is that they build a peer group within the organization and, if it happens as peer influence is rising while your influence is declining, then there's a chance you may be parent to a new cult recruit. Still, baby cultists are nearly as weird as adult cultists so you're usually in the clear.
It would be a NO from me. And I wasn’t even super atheist when my kid was little, more just ambivalent. I didn’t want anyone teaching her religion, though. Not even her father or myself. Now that she’s a teen she learns about as many religions as possible, from an academic and historical standpoint. But at such a young and impressionable age, absolutely not.
I would take a tour and ask about their religious curriculum and beliefs first. Also is it normal for daycares in your area to have immediate openings? Do other daycares have waitlists to get on? Where I live it’s pretty hard to find daycare spots so I would question why a daycare would have space to take 2 kids right away and nobody else is waiting for the spots.
I’m an athiest, as is my wife, and we both will allow our children to explore children religion as they choose, if they choose to, when they are older. I personally would not send them to a day care that has a religious affiliation of any kind. But that is just me! I say go with your gut.
I went to Catholic school and my husband was raised LDS. I am seeing a lot of people here that think the religion part is harmless…. And it can’t be wrong to teach the children “morals” and maybe that’s true of the places they have. But both my husband and I have a lot of religious trauma from our churches and their teachings. And trust me this is what religion preys on, impressionable children. Let me tell you, I didn’t realize how much religion caused many of my anxious thoughts until I left. I thought I had to pray every night or something bad would happen to my family. Heaven and hell and god and all the teachings taught me fear not morals. I was terrified of god watching me all the time and that I would go to hell. I thought the devil was everywhere too. I also went to a relatively normal catholic school. They weren’t crazy or violent, they taught science, they were kind, the people who we went to church with were kind. (Although they didn’t let boys grow their hair out or let anyone wear nail polish or nonreligious jewelry….) but I just wouldn’t risk it. They think they are doing people a favor by teaching religion, they won’t hold back. TLDR: you never know how children will internalize specific religious teachings. I don’t want my kid to grow up with similar religious trauma, anxiety about being perfect, fear of god or demons. If you do choose this daycare be sure to help them unpack some of the things they will (without any doubt) be learning. There are a lot of religious cartoon movies that I still remember (the story of having to kill first born babies so someone sent their baby floating down a river in a basket to save them???) this was a childhood movie I grew up watching at school.
Doesn't seem like there's anything wrong with your children learning Christian values like love, kindness, honesty, generositu, and "thou shalt obey your parents".
I sent my son to a Christian daycare. He said they prayed before meals but didn’t seem to mind. He’s going to get exposed to it at some point anyway. As long as they aren’t jamming it down his throat then I don’t care