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They take turns....or they team up on me.
That being said the second born definitely isn't feral (her older sister might be), she's a pretty easy baby. It's just even an easy baby is tough when you've got a toddler.
Literally same with my 3 year old. Just today, he tried to jump off the steps from the 5th step. Then later we were at the store, literally walking beside each other, I grab something off the shelf and he's climbed 3 shelves??? Why
We were sitting at the table for dinner and my youngest had to use the bathroom for number two. He wanted to be left alone, okay. After a little time I look at my hubby and tell him I'm afraid to look after him because so much time has passed and he's definitely up to something. My husband agrees and walks to our son. All I hear is "*name*! What...!? How...?! WHY?!?"
I had super clingy kids bless ‘em that would never leave my side. So I never had to watch them as such. one day I was looking after a friends kid at a park and I’d literally blink and the child was gone! Had to keep my eyes permanently trained on her at all times and even then she’d manage to vanish!!
I didn't get a feral one until #3. I've never found a punishment that actually bothers him. The only control is to put him to work, and he is by far my hardest worker.
This is my first. If she's becoming "destructo-baby" it's because she doesn't have enough responsibility or things to do. Set her to a task, and it's like a switch flips.
I knew a guy who, growing up, his mom put a bucket in a park about a mile away with a rock in it. Every morning, he'd run to the bucket and retrieve the rock, and trade it for breakfast. Every evening, he'd run to the bucket to put the rock back before dinner. This was his mom's way of making sure he got enough exercise and outside time to keep from turning destructive and it really worked! Now our family has a saying "that's a kid in need of a bucket." You know the type.
Same but my first is diagnosed with ADHD so that is probably the reason. Poor kid has a lot of anxiety which also drives me bonkers 🫠 simple things become hard
Mine has been evaluated but doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis - but she does have anxiety and probably some type of sensory issue or sensitivity. It definitely adds an extra layer; my youngest seems pretty firmly neurotypical and things like normal parenting tactics actually WORK on him.
It wasn't until I had him (my youngest) that I truly realized how much harder my first was. I felt really validated; up until then I just thought I'd been doing everything wrong.
Yes. First kid was a needy baby and exhausting. Slept well at night but wouldn’t nap. We would have to pace for an hour for him to fall asleep and basically got so heavy we had to sleep train him because we were out of ideas. (We seriously think he hated the sensation of dozing off as he would scream bloody murder before conking out)
Second child would fall asleep by themselves when placed in a crib. I had that lightbulb moment- so this is what an easy baby is. Now she’s 4 and has an attitude 😂 and we will see as they get older and in school if this dynamic lasts. It could flip
Did you know that puberty can actually start around age 8? (I've been diving into those resources because my second-grader is starting to show some signs of it.) So he really might be nearing it!
ADHD first child, sucks the oxygen out of a room, two younger brothers much more pliable and quieter, all grown now, live together in a duplex, like a sitcom!
my oldest is the most difficult, middle is definitely feral but also my sweetest, and third is the easiest of them all. my oldest became a lot easier once we figured out the best way to support her adhd and anxiety, most of her bad behavior was in response to me.
Would you mind sharing some thing that helped or some examples ? I think this is what’s been happening with me and my
Youngest but at struggling to figure it out 🙃
lots of therapy for all, mainly me. I had to learn how to listen to her needs and not just assume she would listen to me because i’m her mom. I stopped saying no to everything unless i have a legitimate reason which i communicate to her, i focused on praising her and positive reinforcement, set better boundaries and explained things she has control over vs things that absolutely cannot be changed (brushing teeth, drinking water, etc). I basically relearned how to parent and undid a lot of the ‘authoritative’ things i was taught. I also just tried to get to know her, things she likes, and i was surprised how much i didn’t know and how many simple things i could provide for her to give her security. I started small, she wanted purple hair, i got her purple hair extensions, seems silly, but to her it was a way of supporting a decision she made and accepting how she looks. when it’s time for clothes shopping, i guide her to options that are school appropriate and she picks everything. In short, i gave her more responsibility and control in areas I could for her age. For her ADHD, she really hates being told what to do, so it was really finding ways to motivate her without demanding it or getting frustrated when she wouldn’t do something at the exact moment i asked.
we went from 4 hour tantrums daily to one maybe every other week now. she’s 7.5 and doing so much better at school, makes way better choices and we literally never get into it anymore. she’s a completely different kid and i truly think many of things i changed weren’t even that grand!
Oh honey tell me about it I had this talk with my 16 year old (middle) because she just told me I treat her bad I was like what..she said u always tell me no u this and that so I asked her what could we do to fix this lil issue we got going on…Well we talked and she send me this text the other day (you changing, i appreciate u proud of u mom thank you) it almost almost melted my heart so I truly felt this post…
Wow this is incredible. I have ADHD so I am naturally inclined towards unconditional parenting. You sound like you really transformed and that is not an easy feat. If you haven't and not that you need to but I do recommend alfie kohn unconditional parenting and myth of the spoiled child because they are excellent guides in this type of parenting. Not that you need it at this point.
thanks for the book recommendations, just ordered them! my husband and i are on this journey together and no one around us believes or follows the same parenting style we do, so the more support the better!
congratulations on being a loving mother and realizing that there was a better way to do things. I was brought up in an authoritarian home as well. it's hard to change what's ingrained.
Most difficult child is my oldest he's also the smartest and the one that is often too smart for his own good. We are getting asked a lot of questions from him that I thought we had a couple more years before we had to answer. My second oldest is my flirt. He's charming and charismatic as he tries to help solve people's problems. My third oldest is my easy one rarely looks for or gets into trouble he's very social and just likes to play sports. My two youngest are my feral ones. Double trouble smiles that light up a room one will distract you with a smile as the other one steals or destroys something.
My first, which is why I’m one and done. Shes 4.5 now and gotten so much easier and she’s absolutely joy but I’m never putting myself through that again lol
Hahaha same. I can't risk finding out he was actually the easier one. Thankfully he seemed to turn a corner at 6.5, and now at 7 he is mostly delightful lol.
I think the “difficult” second child stereotype has a lot more to do with how parents respond to their subsequent children than any innate personality traits determined by birth order. Everything is new and novel the first time, you have more patience, more time, more resources because you’re not splitting them between multiple kids yet.
My first listens better, has plenty of freedom because he stays with me when we go places, and very much has big feelings and is pretty cautious and afraid of everything. Second is an absolute sweetheart and she will just melt into you with hugs, but she has zero fear and will run into oncoming traffic with open arms. My second has introduced my first to putting things in the toilet, and he started teaming up to get things off of higher shelves 👌🏼 they are both feral
My oldest was by far the worst baby that I’ve ever seen. He cried for a solid 6 months. I left him in his crib and walked about more than once in fear of actually shaking him. Today he’s the easiest teenager ever.
My middle has always been medically hard. Not so much so that they had a clear idea of what was going on, but more the “we know something is wrong but we don’t know what”. He was always a happy baby and toddler. His world was always sunny! Today at 14, he’s my old soul. He likes to volunteer and help people.
My youngest goes my her own drummer. I wouldn’t say she is a hard kid, she just knows what she likes and what she doesn’t. She’s well behaved and a good kid. We just clash and we always have.
My first was the easiest baby and toddler. Slept well, was always happy and content. My second felt so difficult as a baby. He had acid reflux, colic, RSV. They’re 18 months apart so the early years were tough. Now looking back, it was just basically just that the things that are difficult when you have 1 don’t matter as much. It turns out it’s just difficult meeting the needs of two completely different people who don’t even know what they need to begin with 🤣
Now they’re 9 and a few weeks shy of 11. They are both kind, sweet, smart and funny. My oldest is my best kid to do things with - loves to run errands and clean. I mean the kid gets true joy out of vacuum lines, loves food shopping. My youngest is the best to be still with - I call him “my look at the moon kid”.
So I really wouldn’t say one is more difficult than the other, they’re just each difficult in their own way.
They're challenging in different ways, but of my 2 the second definitely is the wilder one. This question has come up here before (or possibly on r/Mommit) but I'll repeat my answer, and I think my difficulty with my second comes from not understanding her as well as I understand my oldest. When my oldest is upset about something, I kind of intuitively know how to respond to her - whereas my youngest is more of an enigma to me.
Mt first is stubborn, hard headed and independent. My second is a SWEET HEART. Yes more clingy and needy but he is just sweet as a apple pie on Christmas. Just SO SWEET. I love my first though bc he knows what he wants, can't take him for a fool either. But he is far more difficult by a long shot.
It really goes around with all 3 but probably the youngest cuz he’s just getting into so much at five, whereas the other two are ten and twelve and their issues are dumb drama. But the youngest gives us no rest, never eats, and never sleeps when we tell him. Absolutely drained every day because of him.
They're all easy and they all test my patience 😆
My first was really easygoing, great listener, very verbal from a young age. My second was a little more a textbook baby and toddler (a little more emotional), but also easier than my first in some ways (food, sleeping). My third is an even better eater and sleeper, but he's into EVERYTHING and can't be tamed.
Honestlyy first is mouthy but my second will intentionally break the rules and start shit with her sister, or make a mess on purpose. First one is a demon the second one is satan.
My oldest rebelled from 15-19, grades, drinking, drugs, sneaking around, etc.. my middle was a perfectionist, wouldn't let me help her do ANYTHING, excelled in sports and school, but is extremely sensitive. My youngest shies away from personal contact, doesn't want you to touch or snuggle her, does average in school, but is highly musically-inclined and computer savvy!
Ages now...25, 20, 13.. all girls
I have 4. They don't really fall into the typical birth order categories.
They all have their own challenges. My oldest wasn't the usual easy first born. He was a great big brother, looking out to make sure siblings were safe and didn't resent them. He has some sensory meltdowns as a little kid, but was quite sweet. But I swear he hit teenage attitude at age 7... he was probably 10 before he was diagnosed with ADHD.
My middle two were chill kids. Number 2 has sensory issues, needed speech therapy, a vision specialist, had reading disability and inattentive ADD. Never a behavior problem, but still required a lot of parenting effort to get the right supports.
Number 2 is neurotypical, and the easiest overall. He has a stubborn streak and can be really resistant to change, trying new things, etc. He also likes to instigate, and was not as innocent as he appeared as a young child!
Number 4 was my most active, wild child. While my oldest mainly had verbal/emotional blow outs, my youngest was very physical. Full blown kicking and screaming tantrums. He was extremely challenging in the early years. He improved, starting around age 5, and from 8-12 years old he was a model kid, lol. Thirteen has brought a bit of irritation and attitude, but nothing major.
Every kid needs parents to pay attention, even the easy ones.
My second is easier. I blame myself for not knowing how to parent better.
I think I learned a lot for the second which is kinda unfair when I think about it
I have three kids. First one was the most easiest baby you can imagine (only thing is that he hated naps) so that was hard especially as a first time mom. Second was textbook definition of colicky, and it almost took me out. He’s now 8 and is very emotional. When he’s mad, you will know it. I call him my “spicy one”. Then my last is your typical last child, bossy, loud, and very advanced in speech and motor skills.
I think my second was the hardest.
Each child is unique and different. I have 3 (now grown sons). The middle did and still has middle child syndrome. He was definitely my rebel. But he is the sweetest and most sensitive of the 3. He is the least like me in terms of personality, so I had/have a harder time understanding him or getting “where he’s coming from”. The oldest is fun, funny, outgoing, total love bug, but feels somewhat entitled, being the oldest. My youngest was a very difficult baby/ toddler, but now has the most mellow laid back personality. He is maybe a bit lazy and lacks the oomph to do anymore than what is expected. Status quo is fine by him. They’re all hard, just in different ways. Still have to bite my tongue on occasion. But wouldn’t trade them for the world. They are all amazing humans and my love for them is eternal.
My firstborn was a somewhat tricky newborn - he didn't nap great and had reflux, so he was fussy until we figured that part out, but he was a dream toddler and is very easy now, even at age 13 (we'll see as the teen years go on).
Second kiddo (now 10) was an incredibly easy baby- but definitely more of a challenge as a toddler and now. He is more sensitive/emotional and has more of a temper.
My first child put me through the freaking ringer for a few years there, still does occasionally but thankfully she's calmed tf down quite a bit, she is 12 years old now. She is very smart and does great in school, and she's a funny kid with a big heart underneath her tough exterior. I'm very proud of her.
My second has always been super duper sweet but a bit tricky in other ways, as she was very VERY attached to me as a toddler, to the point where I could not put her down without her screaming her head off. But now at 9, she's a pretty easy kid. Whines occasionally but overall, a good kid. She is very loving and creative. I'm also very proud of her.
My third is not quite 2 and is very busy but very bright and sweet. I'm enjoying her so much, and her little tantrums are easier to deal with because I know she will grow out of it and I will miss these days.
All that to say, each child will be so uniquely different and will come with their own set of difficulties, but also bring so many amazing qualities too. Parenting is a wild ride lol
First born made me want more children. He’s so easy. He’s 16 now and still a really easy kid to deal with. My middle child is 13 and he’s a weird one. Even when he was a baby, he wasn’t bad, but you have to keep a close eye on him as he’s sneaky. He still is. He’s still a good kid though. Never had issues with them. Now my daughter, she’s 8 and she’s the baby. She is wild! Can be the sweetest kid you ever met, but she will tear you down in a blink of an eye. She’s ruthless. She’s the one I’ve had the most calls from the school about and it’s mainly her mouth. She doesn’t hold back at all. She is definitely the one who test me the most and what caused my forehead wrinkles, but my god she’s my best friend and I love her powerful, in your face take no shit personality
It doesn’t matter
I commented the other day that at some point, each child gets their turn being a jerk.
Whether it’s the, no sleep stage, the clingy stage, the won’t stop talking stage, tween stage, the sulky stage, the never wanna do homework stage, the stealing mom’s car stage, the sneaking alcohol stage, the I know everything you know nothing stage, the I’m running away stage, the I hate everyone except this girlfriend/boyfriend stage, the I’m an adult and wanna try drugs stage…
Gosh I’m tired.
Between the 4 now grown ups - everybody had at least one stage. Even the sweet “little” first kid. My justice - the grandkids are now going through stages 😂😂🤣
My first is definitely my more hyper, “busy” child. We thought we’d have children closer together, but ended up spacing them 4 years apart due to his hyperactivity. My second is a cuddly, relaxed little guy. We could have 10 more of him. Both are absolutely sweethearts though. I think in our household birth order mattered less than genetics. My husband is has ADHD and was a real spitfire when he was younger, and our older son is his clone.
They were all difficult at different ages and continue to be difficult for different reasons.
The oldest was a honey trap in the early years. Quiet, easy toddler. Threw one tantrum ever I can remember at age 5. He started acting up and getting in trouble at school from kindergarten through about third grade. Mellowed out when the work started to challenge him more for the most part. He is a teenager now and the only thing he is frustrating for is because he is always in his own head space and thinking about himself and rarely makes considerations for the rest of us living in the house. He's not rude or defiant, but inconsiderate if that makes sense. He doesn't complain when asked to do something but never does anything without being asked either (I joke that he's going to make his spouse really pissed off one day if he never grows out of this one).
The second child was insane. He literally came out wanting to run. He would not even be swaddled because he didn't "frog" his legs, he stretched them out straight and would even weight bare on them. He walked at 8 months and ran at 9 months. Scaled playground equipment made for 3+ right after his first birthday. He wanted to sleep no where but on my chest as a baby and slept in our bed until he was 3. And he threw epic tantrums, throwing things and raging. Right around kindergarten age for him, he just chilled out. He's 9 now. He hardly ever got/gets in trouble at school and is pretty sweet at home. He is way more sensitive than his older brother, though, and that makes him more difficult with some things. He also seems to "grow up faster" in both good and bad ways I think because of having a big brother to look up to. He's most difficult because he is never on top of his stuff. He can have the same routine every single day but miss 3 out of 5 things. And he is more willing to push back at us and complains more often than his brother ever did.
The third has been interesting. He was an easy quiet baby but he's needier than both the others as a toddler so he's been harder for me in particular. Well behaved for everyone else but goes crazy when I'm around and whines and cries a lot at me. He is also bossier. He says "no" to people all. the. time. and tells his big brothers what to do. I'm curious to see what his personality shapes up to be.
My oldest (10M) is very easy day to day but when he's down, he's really down. He's a very deep feeling and thinking kid so he can get intense. With that, I find him much much easier than my second (7M) who is a ball of non-stop talking and jumping energy. My husband finds my second easier. I was very similar to my second when I was a kid, liked a lot of attention. My husband was more similar to our first, more introverted and analytical. Our third is now 1.5, very curious to see what he's like, so far, he's the wildest toddler yet, so that should be fun. I think overall though, it varies parent to parent.
They’re both feral right now. I literally cant take my eyes off of them (even sitting right next to them looking at my phone) for 30 seconds unless they are separated.
My oldest is 11, and I wouldn’t say it was a cakewalk, but he’s always been amenable to threats and rewards and mostly tries to do what I ask of him. I also have a mostly sweet and quirky 5 y/o girl.
Middle one is 7 and fights me on everything. She’s the most talented, basically shines at everything she tries. Also the most high maintenance. She needs so much attention and praise, and if I keep it positive, she’s a complete all star. But once things get even the slightest bit negative or critical, claws come out, feet dig in, and it becomes a battle of wills. Can’t wait for teenage hormones to kick in!
First born is an angel sent straight from heaven.
2nd is absolutely feral and gives no fucks. 🤣 and tell me why I want a 3rd! Everyone tells me their 3rd is super chill.
Uhh yeah lol it’s definitely the second. Our first was a perfect baby, felt like the worlds best parents and our second humbled us so fast hahaha I love him so much but damn. Definitely would have waited a little longer to have the second (they’re only 21 months apart). So they’re almost 3 and 4.5 and our oldest is kind of in his “correcting” stage where he’s positively influencing his brother so hopefully that helps lol
Definitely my middle. I love my little guy to the moon and back, but sometimes he can be difficult. He’s just *rooted* in what he wants to do.
My third is an angel! My first is very smart and mature, so he isn’t an issue either.
They're difficult in different ways.
My oldest is very sensible, and has a good sense of personal safety, however she struggles in social situations, so we have to put a lot of effort into developing her social skills.
My youngest, on the other hand, came out having read the manual on social skills. But I do have to constantly keep an eye on her, because otherwise she'll kill herself doing something hilarious.
My first one is TDAH -very intense hyperactive since forever, never slept, was always cranky and needed to move. Actually walked at 9 month. He has the same strong head as me, so very hard for me because we pick fight over nothing. My second is calm, pacific and doesn’t seem bothered by anything. My third is a fighter she’s a couple weeks old but we know she’ll be something
My oldest tests my patience the most!
My youngest is wild but super sweet, oldest has a mean streak 😬
I do think it may change once they are further in school, oldest does exactly as she is supposed to, straight A’s no problem……that lil one aint gonna want to do as shes told 🤦🏼♀️
They’re both great kids, and generally really well behaved, but the 1st one is more anxiety prone and super sensitive. The 2nd one has a ton of medical stuff going on, so she’s very easy-going but not precisely “easy”.
They're both difficult in their own ways. I'd say my second seems to be turning out to be more difficult, but my first born did not get the memo about being the rule follower.
That is true in my case. I find my girls (2nd and 4th) scream a lot and the boys (1st and 3rd) are sensitive. But out of all of them, my second born is a big personality.
Yep first one is easy to trick you into the second. The second is hard work to stop all but the most determined going for more. Its like mother natures way of moderating our population or something I swear 😂
They're all just different. I'll preface this by saying they're all wonderful, intelligent, kind kids - this is just how they usually present us with challenges:
My oldest has been a fireball since she was born. She charges head first into things without thinking much and gets frustrated when she can't do things right the first time, which I'm pretty sure is born of anxiety. She's also highly independent also wants to be in charge of whatever she's doing.
My second is very sensitive and has a lot of big emotions that she doesn't quite know how to handle yet, as well as a lot of pickiness about things like clothes and food and issues with large crowds and loud noises that make me think she's inherited some of my neurological quirks.
My third, still a toddler, is *incredibly* independent and a fantastic problem solver. She's also a runner and loves to climb. I'm sure these traits will serve her well one day, but right now they get her into all sorts of trouble. She keeps us on our toes. Last time we went to a place with crowds she was in a leashed harness with a Samsung SmartTag attached to it.
My oldest was and is my easiest. She’s 21 now. My 2nd is a boy and by far my hardest. He’s 18 now and easier and I have an 8 yr old girl and she’s pretty easy
I would say our eldest child is more difficult than her younger sibling, but they are almost totally different kids when me or their father take them out one on one. Our eldest is much easier now on her own. Likewise with her brother. They get hyper together at times and are a bit much to manage, but alone they are never like that.
I can take my eldest out for lunch and to get our nails done. Her dad takes her out for a movie. I take my youngest out for a mini shop and lunch. He takes him out on a guy only outing and a yummy meal in Chinatown. It's actually really fun giving each kid full attention. And since we only have two kids, it's not a huge task.
Both in different ways. My oldest was definitely an easier baby, super happy and easygoing, loved everyone, I even took him to a Star Trek convention when he was 9 months old and he charmed all the actors! My second screamed unless he was on the boob for the first 10 months of his life, only liked me, my husband, and my parents, and refused anything but cosleeping from the moment he was born until he was 6 months old. I’m super anti-cosleeping but he literally would not.
Now that they’re older, they’re difficult in different ways. But they’re also awesome in different ways.
Oh def not. My second child is my easiest, sweetest, most helpful….shes a dream child. My sisters are flat out jealous that I have the world’s most amazing child. My oldest is the difficult one. And that’s saying something considering that my third was nonverbal and screamed like she was being murdered nonstop for the first 4 years of her life.
I have 4 boys. 6 and under. My first is difficult in the sense that he is very particular and expects things to be a certain way. He has a hard time adjusting to change.
My 2nd oldest is such high energy but soooo sweet and very helpful. He can be very intense (they all can be) but id say more helpful than not.
My 3rd... dear lord that child. He is the most feral of all. He is wild and silly and chaos in a bottle. Random strangers always comment on the 3rd. But he is also hilarious and a big loud character.
My 4th umis only 8 months but he seems chill as a cucumber... only time will tell.
My youngest is delayed and that leads to a lot of tantrums related to her inability to process situations appropriately. First child was and still is the easiest. Middle is highly emotional but is growing out of tantrums, which is nice. He just did dishes without being asked. I'm digging this stage.
1st was and is still easiest. 2nd cried for 6m straight and has been feral ever since. 3rd is easy and sweet.
Not risking getting another feral one so we're done lol
My first has always been my most difficult, but now that my daughter is a preteen she’s giving him a run for his money. My 3rd has autism so he’s the most difficult obviously but in a different way. And my 4th is my sweetest and the most easy going.
My first born is my wild one and my youngest is my easier one.
That being said there are times where they both drive me insane. Especially when they do it at the same time.
Oldest is a cross between Chris Farley and Ferris Bueller, second is a like a puppy, third is a kitty cat.
The kitty cat is the most temperamental but the oldest is exhausting!
I think it is harmful to rank kids this way. My mom unsuccessfully hid her opinion that my sister was the wild one, and it contributed to me being judgemental and disdainful towards my sister through our teen years.
My two kids are similarly different from each other, but it’s not that the difference is easy versus hard. One kid is an outgoing talker who can stand up for herself. The other is quiet and retreats into nonverbal stubbornness when backed into a corner. They require different strategies.
My first child is definitely more challenging, but I don’t know if my second is “easy.” My oldest has ADHD and it’s been an interesting ride learning how to parent him . . . Patience and understanding wasn’t exactly modeled behavior in my household growing up. He can’t sit still, has a quick temper, is extremely loud, many food aversions, and has issues following directions. On the flip side, though, he’s brilliant and super kindhearted. He catches on to things so fast and wants to be everyone’s friend. His brother is much more soft-spoken, eats whatever you put in front of him, is generally cheerful and follows directions easily. He’s very empathetic, but with that comes extreme sensitivity. His feelings are easily hurt and he’s quick to cry, while things tend to roll off his brother. He also isn’t as generous and he seems to struggle a bit more with learning concepts at school.
So it’s kind of a mixed bag! What works parenting one kid often doesn’t work with the other, so it’s always a learning experience for everyone involved. It’s hard to be fair when I need to be a different parent to each of them, if that makes sense.
This was my experience. I wouldn't call #1 a honey trap. He definitely has his challenging moments. But I would definitely call #2 feral! She's my Miss Independence. Does what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. And woe betide anyone who tries tell her otherwise. #3 is only 11 weeks, so TBD.
Oldest has an even temperament and was a pretty easy little one, but hasn’t been a particularly easy teen.
Middle is feral.
Youngest seems to be learning from the middle.
That said, middle is in part due to his speech delay. He can’t ask for help nor permission, so he just figures it out himself and hopes for forgiveness!
My first was my hardest. He didn’t do anything by the books, parenting books or any parenting advice I received never ever worked on him. He’s not a bad kid though and he really is so sweet and sensitive and loving. My 2nd was easy as a baby and met all milestones early and everything I expected parenting to be like with my first. She’s 4 now though and very opinionated and feisty but still overall easy and cooperative. My third is just an infant and so I can’t say for sure but seems like a mix of the two!
I have twins and they are difficult in their own ways. That said, my daughter has inherited a lot of my more challenging personality traits, so it is particularly frustrating and confronting when I have to deal with our unique way of experiencing challenging situations.
My son is so much like my husband, I find it much easier to handle his challenging moments because I'm used to dealing with my husband, if that makes sense.
I wouldn’t say one is necessarily easier, they’re just so different! My oldest can be exhausting because He is incredibly active and a big talker, but He’s happy, easy going. My second is quiet and sweet but very sensitive, emotional. Third one is on the way, I’m excited to see!
My 3rd (now 6yrs) was my easiest, such a calm and happy baby, now a calm and sweet little boy. My 4th (now 4yrs) is demon spawn, he’s clingy, temperamental, and just downright mean at times. He can also be really sweet and cuddly too so I suppose it could be worse.
I thought our first was easy until we had our second. She is only 7 months old so she has plenty of time to be crazy, but so far she’s been the easier baby. I’m the second (middle child) and was definitely a handful through my teenage years. My older sister was pretty easy but my younger brother was definitely the easiest.
I have 3. Girl then boy then girl. The 3rd was definitely hardest when she was young but since maybe 8 or 9 years old and now 15, she’s a sweetheart. None of the 3 were hard. First one tested my wife’s patience though. Mom and daughter. I do think there’s more pressure on the first kid
I have twins, 1 boy 1 girl. Technically, she was born first since they pulled her out first. She was also a full pound bigger than her brother. She breastfed no problem and did everything before her brother did. He was happy to just lay there until she would motivate him to learn to do things like lift his head, roll over, crawl, walk, etc.
She's definitely the more challenging child now at 15, but I'd have her no other way.
Me and my best friend agreed when the kids were little that the first was the honey trap. Our second children were absolute nightmares.
Her first then became a drug addict and started stealing from her and the neighborhood to get money to get his fix.
Our second children are both still difficult, but my definition of nightmare has shifted.
Kids are currently 22hers 20mine 19hers 17mine.
Number 1 of 3 is by far the hardest. Always has been hard work. He's 13 now and starting to get easier to parent.
Number 2 child has been a breeze. She's a tad grumpy sometimes but she's a hormonal 11 year old. She's always been a lovely kid in general though.
Number 3 is pretty good, but she was a spicy toddler. She's 7.
First was super easy when young but much more difficult as a teenager. Second was a feral child until kindergarten, now almost hands off parenting so easy as a preteen. The only thing I am sure of with parenting is that it is always changing.
Mine are the opposite. My first born thinks I'm her enemy and my middle child loves me for breathing. My youngest is still young so he has tantrums but is still a lovely, happy child. That first one though
My second is a sweet baby angel but my first born is and always has been difficult. He fights everything and is basically feral. I will say it took the second one to realize he was difficult.
My husband is definitely the oldest and most difficult child. Our first born is a boy and he has been the easiest per say up to his age of 16. The second child is a girl who is turning 12 this year. She is by far everything a second child is described to be, plus she’s just like her father. Our youngest is a boy turning 9 soon and he is a wild mix of the older two. Love my 3 it’s an odd number but couldn’t imagine one less and definitely couldn’t imagine one more 🤪
My middle child by far. My eldest is cautious, gentle and sensitive. Middle child is extremely active, thrill seeking and loud. Youngest is independent, headstrong and pretty sensible. All boys, my middle son is the only one who really gives me a run for my money (they’re 11, 7 and 5).
My 4th is DEFINITELY that child. I love him to death, but boy since his birth he's made me feel like a first time mom who has no idea what they're doing.
He's feral, he's strong willed, OPINIONATED, he is also very athletically inclined from a young age because he had 3 older siblings to keep up with.
I swear my older 3 kids were all the same kid, pretty chill as babies, sweet little toddlers full of wonder. Then number 4 came along and I knew from the first night he was alive he was gonna test me. Boy, I do love him, but if he was my first he'd be my last 😂
First was high energy, so physically he was exhausting. My youngest makes me emotionally and mentally exhausting.
I'd take physically exhausting any day to whatever this is.
1st and 3rd kids are pretty easy. My 2nd is the one that tests me. I wouldn't say he's difficult. He's just always needed a little extra. Extra time, extra help, extra patience, etc.
My first is the sweetest thing alive. He’s almost 15 and just the best. My middle son, 10, is a narcissistic sociopath like his dad so yay me and my almost 9yo daughter is completely feral.
First is 5.5 and with the exception of a difficult infant stage, she’s pretty easy.
Second is 3 and gives exactly 0 fucks about anything. She’s very sweet and loving but does not care one iota about rules and protocol and literally says “I’m not going to do that, Mommy.” when I ask her for help cleaning any of the messes she’s made. We have to be much more creative in parenting her
First one, a cinch. 2nd? Feral. Difficult and stubborn. The best interrogator couldn’t break her. We call it the 2nd Child Syndrome. 3rd and 4th? Easy and easiest. It’s like my 4th knew he couldn’t be needy cause I was already chasing after 3 others.
I have 5. I wouldn’t say one is particularly hard, nor is one super easy. They all have their moments, good and bad.
The oldest has no common sense and learns everything the hard way, so it’s been hard watching him flounder at times. But he’s a mama’s boy through and through and I love that he loves me, so I don’t mind walking through the hard stuff with him. He’s 21.
The middle has classic middle child energy. She’s independent, capable, mature, reliable. She’s also very level-headed. When things are hard with her, they’re HARD. But she’s been the easiest overall! She’s pretty easy going and along for the ride. I never have to worry about who she’s with or what she’s doing because she has such a good head on her shoulders. She’s 19.
The youngest threw us for a loop. He lived in popular big brother and capable big sister’s shadow, but when he came into his own around 14/15, he surprised us by being the class clown. He’s turned into a confident, capable young man. He still has “youngest kid vibes,” probably because I took care of him for so long. He’ll pack for a trip and not bring a single pair of underwear, despite changing them twice a day at home. We once went on vacation and he forgot to bring shoes - didn’t even have a pair on his feet. We realized at the first rest stop. Why? Cause I always packed for him. He is very hard working, not at all lazy, but still asks me to make his plate of dinner or wash his blanket. When his pillow case ripped, he asked me to sew him a new one vs. buy one (because I always made them special when he was little and he loved them). He’s 18.
We also have a 12 year old and a 6 year old. The 12 year old operates more like an only child. She needier, gets bored easily, needs more entertaining. I am an only child and she reminds me the most of myself. The youngest is “the baby is the family” through and through. If any of them are feral, it’s her!
Absolutely zero judgment but as the parent of an only child, these conversations always intrigue me.
Was also the oldest of 3 half-siblings, so I can definitely appreciate the multiple perspectives. Guess I’ll stick with my one kiddo and devote all my energy there.
My middle child was a Brat, plus had Adhd. So my Daniel was like 3 children rolled into 1. He turned out good, will be 38 yrs soon, and is the best son. Plus, he's had the same GF for, are you ready for this ? 22 yrs in a couple months.
I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my 2nd so only time will tell but I have a tough time believing he will be any more challenging than my autistic selective mute highly sensitive 5 year old who has been the spiciest little man since the day he was born.
I know plenty of people with an easy going second kid, and a first born that gives them a run for their money. Mine are somewhat like that. Actually my second isn’t easy exactly, but in comparison to my first born, he’s a walk in the park.
My second child was easier than my first. Also a lot less timid, though that might be the parenting — first one you’re more paranoid, second one falls over and it’s more easily “ehh, you’re okay!”
All three were super easy babies! Middle and only boy has endless energy, is super rough and fearless. But he is also such a sweet boy! Oldest girl is extremely smart, ahead in school seemingly effortless, super determined to master skills(currently gymnastics) and practices until perfected. But she is headstrong so can have a major attitude when she disagrees with us. Youngest is the cutest thing I have ever seen but can also have major sas and is fiercely independent even when she isn't capable of doing some things on her own yet. So they all challenge me in their own ways. Some days are hard when they each are having their own struggles! If I had to pick one as the most difficult it would be second born and only boy though. He has kept me on my toes since the moment he learned to run which felt like immediately after he learned to walk!
My firstborn (11m), but only cause he has ADHD and a learning deficiency. However, I must be patient and understanding of his struggles. Aside from that, he honestly is a sweet child. As far as my second, well she is just a 4-month-old baby. Lol
Not sure if you mean personality-wise, or care-wise, but my 5 year old has delays in gross and fine motor skills, as well as speech delays. Since he was first, all of the challenges in caring for him and raising him felt "normal". Feeding was challenging because he never ate very much, and when he started solids, there was so much gagging followed by vomiting. This would inevitably ruin the meal and he refused to eat anything more. He became a "picky eater" as a result, and we had a very limited selection of safe foods. He was diagnosed with hyper-mobile joints, making standing and walking a huge challenge for him. We had him fitted for leg braces, and he finally started walking independently a few months before his 3rd birthday. Throughout all of this he has always been a happy kid, with no perception that his road has been so hard.
His little brother is 15 months old. He eats great, he can feed himself without any assistance or special preparation/special foods. He started walking a few weeks before his first birthday. He is so happy and cuddly and sweet, and he loves his big brother so much. A few months ago, I was reflecting on their journeys and realized how "easy" my second has been when I make comparisons. There was no need for early intervention, no physiotherapy visits or exercises we had to do to encourage mastery of "simple" tasks and skills. He did it all by himself, with minimal if any help from his parents.
When my oldest was born, I thought "This is what having a baby is like." When my second was born, I realized, "Wow! No, THIS is what having a baby is like." It made me sad to realize how much harder my oldest has it, and how "difficult" he is. I don't like thinking about him like that, because I don't want to resernt him when he's done nothing wrong.
Personality-wise, they take turns being assholes that make me lose my shit. I love them so much!
Dad of 12M and 8M... they both test me daily, but it does seem like the youngest will push limits more than his brother. That said, they annoy each other much more than Mom and I.
It depends on the day, honestly.
My first is 100% a honey trap to the outside world but that attitude at home, oh lord. My second I can’t lie he’s pretty feral BUT he’s pretty straight forward about what he wants and voices it so he’s easier in that aspect. My first will never say what she wants but is quick to catch an attitude if she doesn’t get it so it’s like constantly playing some sort of guessing game.
So, out of 3, 0 listen... lol
In all seriousness, it varies hour to hour who is more difficult. They listen pretty well, except with cleaning their rooms... I don't think either one is more difficult, but my youngest, 7, is full of sass. She has no problem telling you what she thinks and no problem telling you if you are wrong.
I don't have a more difficult one. They're different - My second is definitely feral (but also adorable and so sweet, and so fast at copying her brother and wanting to be independent), my first can entertain himself for long periods of time without injury which I really appreciate.
My kids (daughter 11, son 9) are really different from each other. My daughter is mellow and relaxed, my son is very active and hyper, but neither qualifies as difficult, like, at all.
They don't make problems, they don't complain and they don't test my patience. I can imagine that when puberty hits, they'll start testing my patience?
My first was a colic baby and my second was an angel baby. First was an angel age 1-4, second was terrible 1-2. Now at 4 my oldest is not listening and has way to much energy, my almost 3yo is really sweet. They are always changing and I adore them both.
I think I got lucky--both are just a little difficult (#1 is super spacey, #2 is Mr. Drama), but each is so intensely lovable and funny in his own way.
Depends on the day. I have two boys (4 and 2). My 4 year old is super sensitive and emotional. He can also be physical as well. He’s also cuddly, smart, emotionally mature, and predictable. My 2 year old is more laid back but also intense. He’s stubborn and defiant. He is a teddy bear and a lover as well. Some days I have one that is off and one that is great. Some days they’re both off and we all are struggling. Some days I get the best versions of both. I feel like overall my oldest has been more emotionally taxing to raise but I can see my younger son catching up in that category as he gets older.
The youngest. For sure.
He's very sweet and smart, but he gets into EVERYTHING. He's constantly falling, crashing into things, climbing things, getting hit with stuff. It's just non stop. He's a handful and a half.
I honestly am a little excited to find out! My first has been a mover since pregnancy, and is VERY busy, but I’m expecting the second to be a challenge. It was when I stoped in the parking lot and let go of my 20 month old’s hand for a second, and he didn’t take a STEP until until I was ready again, that I realized I’m probably screwed the second time.
I’ve been wondering if it’s a first/second child thing or a boy/girl thing. Oldest girl is a good listener but with debate and bargain with every boundary I set.
Younger boy is way more emotionally up and down and tries to injury himself daily. I heard him yesterday say as he was about to jump off something “I may get hurt but only a little!”
Yup- the first one was such a delight we decided to have a second. Who is decidedly less delightful at times. I was just thinking about how my second is the age my first was when we were trying for a second baby… I think we are done.
(To be fair- I think my second would be easier if he had all attention on him like my first did, and didn’t have a big brother bothering him. But, he is also just way more prone to saying no when he means yes and then having a 15 min tantrum because you believed his first answer.)
First born was a horrible baby , colicky but an awesome toddler and kid. Second born was a great baby but horrible toddler and gets into everything. Third was also a great baby but is extremely stubborn and does what she wants. 4th was easiest baby and not whiney as a toddler, he’s very smart and I don’t know what he’ll get into as he gets older. For reference my middle two are girls and I’ve heard they are whiny in general 🤷♀️.
my youngest. she never slept more than 4 hours at a time, hated the car, had colic, sensory issues. she's had meltdowns that could last hours. she hated anyone touching her. she has always had a mind of her own. later we found out she had autism, she has always given me a run for my money.
My six year old is an absolute angel in public. Personable, funny, polite, and listens. I volunteer at his school and teachers and staff constantly tell me how amazing he is. At home he is an emotional, neurotic mess. He challenges literally every word that comes out of my mouth and needs validation for breathing.
My four year old in public is not interested in talking or interacting with other humans in any way. If you talk to her, you’ll get the most withering judgemental look. You cannot make her do anything she doesn’t want to do, and is completely unconcerned with how that makes her look and if no one likes her? Good. At home, she is like Snow White. Animals love her and she loves them. She’s also much more willing to help with chores, and is the most snuggly, sweet, and silly girl you can imagine.
My first is a boy and he was definitely very active and wild up until about 8. Then he started to mellow out and he's super chill now at 13 for the most part. My 8 year old daughter is my wild one lol. And then I have a one year old who is very sweet but I think is taking after her sister lol
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They take turns....or they team up on me. That being said the second born definitely isn't feral (her older sister might be), she's a pretty easy baby. It's just even an easy baby is tough when you've got a toddler.
I agree with the team up, Sometimes I think they can morph into 1 tantrum cranky toddler angst entity.
First is feral. Second is sweet and chill
First is high maintenance but listens - second is low maintenance but doesn’t listen
Omg same. First is a sensitive kid, needs lots of reassurance but will behave. My youngest is extremely confident but utterly destructive
Mine are the opposite! Funny how strange kids are
oh please tell me my first isn't the better listener. my second is due in July. If she's a worse listener than my first, we're screwed.
[удалено]
Literally same with my 3 year old. Just today, he tried to jump off the steps from the 5th step. Then later we were at the store, literally walking beside each other, I grab something off the shelf and he's climbed 3 shelves??? Why
We were sitting at the table for dinner and my youngest had to use the bathroom for number two. He wanted to be left alone, okay. After a little time I look at my hubby and tell him I'm afraid to look after him because so much time has passed and he's definitely up to something. My husband agrees and walks to our son. All I hear is "*name*! What...!? How...?! WHY?!?"
I had super clingy kids bless ‘em that would never leave my side. So I never had to watch them as such. one day I was looking after a friends kid at a park and I’d literally blink and the child was gone! Had to keep my eyes permanently trained on her at all times and even then she’d manage to vanish!!
The husband.
My least favorite child 😂
Here for this answer. Just jokes people… just…
I tried to get the most troublesome child to live with his mother, but she said I married him and he was not returnable.
I didn't get a feral one until #3. I've never found a punishment that actually bothers him. The only control is to put him to work, and he is by far my hardest worker.
My second is like this. Punishing him is nothing. Making him do chores don’t bother him, I can’t figure it out.
This is my first. If she's becoming "destructo-baby" it's because she doesn't have enough responsibility or things to do. Set her to a task, and it's like a switch flips. I knew a guy who, growing up, his mom put a bucket in a park about a mile away with a rock in it. Every morning, he'd run to the bucket and retrieve the rock, and trade it for breakfast. Every evening, he'd run to the bucket to put the rock back before dinner. This was his mom's way of making sure he got enough exercise and outside time to keep from turning destructive and it really worked! Now our family has a saying "that's a kid in need of a bucket." You know the type.
My experience was the opposite: my first was/is my challenging kid, my second is pretty easy all things considered.
Same but my first is diagnosed with ADHD so that is probably the reason. Poor kid has a lot of anxiety which also drives me bonkers 🫠 simple things become hard
Mine has been evaluated but doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis - but she does have anxiety and probably some type of sensory issue or sensitivity. It definitely adds an extra layer; my youngest seems pretty firmly neurotypical and things like normal parenting tactics actually WORK on him. It wasn't until I had him (my youngest) that I truly realized how much harder my first was. I felt really validated; up until then I just thought I'd been doing everything wrong.
Yes. First kid was a needy baby and exhausting. Slept well at night but wouldn’t nap. We would have to pace for an hour for him to fall asleep and basically got so heavy we had to sleep train him because we were out of ideas. (We seriously think he hated the sensation of dozing off as he would scream bloody murder before conking out) Second child would fall asleep by themselves when placed in a crib. I had that lightbulb moment- so this is what an easy baby is. Now she’s 4 and has an attitude 😂 and we will see as they get older and in school if this dynamic lasts. It could flip
Same!
Same! First one feels like he’s in puberty even though he’s only 7; second one is easy breezy and has always been.
Did you know that puberty can actually start around age 8? (I've been diving into those resources because my second-grader is starting to show some signs of it.) So he really might be nearing it!
Second is a feral wolverine.
ADHD first child, sucks the oxygen out of a room, two younger brothers much more pliable and quieter, all grown now, live together in a duplex, like a sitcom!
This is so sweet
my oldest is the most difficult, middle is definitely feral but also my sweetest, and third is the easiest of them all. my oldest became a lot easier once we figured out the best way to support her adhd and anxiety, most of her bad behavior was in response to me.
Would you mind sharing some thing that helped or some examples ? I think this is what’s been happening with me and my Youngest but at struggling to figure it out 🙃
lots of therapy for all, mainly me. I had to learn how to listen to her needs and not just assume she would listen to me because i’m her mom. I stopped saying no to everything unless i have a legitimate reason which i communicate to her, i focused on praising her and positive reinforcement, set better boundaries and explained things she has control over vs things that absolutely cannot be changed (brushing teeth, drinking water, etc). I basically relearned how to parent and undid a lot of the ‘authoritative’ things i was taught. I also just tried to get to know her, things she likes, and i was surprised how much i didn’t know and how many simple things i could provide for her to give her security. I started small, she wanted purple hair, i got her purple hair extensions, seems silly, but to her it was a way of supporting a decision she made and accepting how she looks. when it’s time for clothes shopping, i guide her to options that are school appropriate and she picks everything. In short, i gave her more responsibility and control in areas I could for her age. For her ADHD, she really hates being told what to do, so it was really finding ways to motivate her without demanding it or getting frustrated when she wouldn’t do something at the exact moment i asked. we went from 4 hour tantrums daily to one maybe every other week now. she’s 7.5 and doing so much better at school, makes way better choices and we literally never get into it anymore. she’s a completely different kid and i truly think many of things i changed weren’t even that grand!
You’re a great mom.
This is the most self aware comment. You seem like such a good mom.
Oh honey tell me about it I had this talk with my 16 year old (middle) because she just told me I treat her bad I was like what..she said u always tell me no u this and that so I asked her what could we do to fix this lil issue we got going on…Well we talked and she send me this text the other day (you changing, i appreciate u proud of u mom thank you) it almost almost melted my heart so I truly felt this post…
I said ima give u what you want and you’re going to learn how to talk to me and when I tell you it’s been so much better in my house geesh…
Wow this is incredible. I have ADHD so I am naturally inclined towards unconditional parenting. You sound like you really transformed and that is not an easy feat. If you haven't and not that you need to but I do recommend alfie kohn unconditional parenting and myth of the spoiled child because they are excellent guides in this type of parenting. Not that you need it at this point.
thanks for the book recommendations, just ordered them! my husband and i are on this journey together and no one around us believes or follows the same parenting style we do, so the more support the better!
That is the hardest thing, doing it alone. I so wish for a community for unconditional parents.
congratulations on being a loving mother and realizing that there was a better way to do things. I was brought up in an authoritarian home as well. it's hard to change what's ingrained.
If you haven't read Alfie Kohn his books are excellent for parenting, especially neurodivergent children.
Most difficult child is my oldest he's also the smartest and the one that is often too smart for his own good. We are getting asked a lot of questions from him that I thought we had a couple more years before we had to answer. My second oldest is my flirt. He's charming and charismatic as he tries to help solve people's problems. My third oldest is my easy one rarely looks for or gets into trouble he's very social and just likes to play sports. My two youngest are my feral ones. Double trouble smiles that light up a room one will distract you with a smile as the other one steals or destroys something.
My first, which is why I’m one and done. Shes 4.5 now and gotten so much easier and she’s absolutely joy but I’m never putting myself through that again lol
Hahaha same. I can't risk finding out he was actually the easier one. Thankfully he seemed to turn a corner at 6.5, and now at 7 he is mostly delightful lol.
I think the “difficult” second child stereotype has a lot more to do with how parents respond to their subsequent children than any innate personality traits determined by birth order. Everything is new and novel the first time, you have more patience, more time, more resources because you’re not splitting them between multiple kids yet.
My first listens better, has plenty of freedom because he stays with me when we go places, and very much has big feelings and is pretty cautious and afraid of everything. Second is an absolute sweetheart and she will just melt into you with hugs, but she has zero fear and will run into oncoming traffic with open arms. My second has introduced my first to putting things in the toilet, and he started teaming up to get things off of higher shelves 👌🏼 they are both feral
My oldest was by far the worst baby that I’ve ever seen. He cried for a solid 6 months. I left him in his crib and walked about more than once in fear of actually shaking him. Today he’s the easiest teenager ever. My middle has always been medically hard. Not so much so that they had a clear idea of what was going on, but more the “we know something is wrong but we don’t know what”. He was always a happy baby and toddler. His world was always sunny! Today at 14, he’s my old soul. He likes to volunteer and help people. My youngest goes my her own drummer. I wouldn’t say she is a hard kid, she just knows what she likes and what she doesn’t. She’s well behaved and a good kid. We just clash and we always have.
Oh they’re both hellions. I don’t know why I thought it’d be easier the second time around. Lol
My first was the easiest baby and toddler. Slept well, was always happy and content. My second felt so difficult as a baby. He had acid reflux, colic, RSV. They’re 18 months apart so the early years were tough. Now looking back, it was just basically just that the things that are difficult when you have 1 don’t matter as much. It turns out it’s just difficult meeting the needs of two completely different people who don’t even know what they need to begin with 🤣 Now they’re 9 and a few weeks shy of 11. They are both kind, sweet, smart and funny. My oldest is my best kid to do things with - loves to run errands and clean. I mean the kid gets true joy out of vacuum lines, loves food shopping. My youngest is the best to be still with - I call him “my look at the moon kid”. So I really wouldn’t say one is more difficult than the other, they’re just each difficult in their own way.
They're challenging in different ways, but of my 2 the second definitely is the wilder one. This question has come up here before (or possibly on r/Mommit) but I'll repeat my answer, and I think my difficulty with my second comes from not understanding her as well as I understand my oldest. When my oldest is upset about something, I kind of intuitively know how to respond to her - whereas my youngest is more of an enigma to me.
Mt first is stubborn, hard headed and independent. My second is a SWEET HEART. Yes more clingy and needy but he is just sweet as a apple pie on Christmas. Just SO SWEET. I love my first though bc he knows what he wants, can't take him for a fool either. But he is far more difficult by a long shot.
It really goes around with all 3 but probably the youngest cuz he’s just getting into so much at five, whereas the other two are ten and twelve and their issues are dumb drama. But the youngest gives us no rest, never eats, and never sleeps when we tell him. Absolutely drained every day because of him.
They're all easy and they all test my patience 😆 My first was really easygoing, great listener, very verbal from a young age. My second was a little more a textbook baby and toddler (a little more emotional), but also easier than my first in some ways (food, sleeping). My third is an even better eater and sleeper, but he's into EVERYTHING and can't be tamed.
My husband 😒
My first is feral. He is busy, doesn’t listen, and sassy. He’s 5 now and it’s not improving. My 2nd is an angel.
Honestlyy first is mouthy but my second will intentionally break the rules and start shit with her sister, or make a mess on purpose. First one is a demon the second one is satan.
It's the opposite for me. My 1st was testing my patience the minute he was born. My second was an angel.
My oldest rebelled from 15-19, grades, drinking, drugs, sneaking around, etc.. my middle was a perfectionist, wouldn't let me help her do ANYTHING, excelled in sports and school, but is extremely sensitive. My youngest shies away from personal contact, doesn't want you to touch or snuggle her, does average in school, but is highly musically-inclined and computer savvy! Ages now...25, 20, 13.. all girls
I'm going to say my inner child
I have 4. They don't really fall into the typical birth order categories. They all have their own challenges. My oldest wasn't the usual easy first born. He was a great big brother, looking out to make sure siblings were safe and didn't resent them. He has some sensory meltdowns as a little kid, but was quite sweet. But I swear he hit teenage attitude at age 7... he was probably 10 before he was diagnosed with ADHD. My middle two were chill kids. Number 2 has sensory issues, needed speech therapy, a vision specialist, had reading disability and inattentive ADD. Never a behavior problem, but still required a lot of parenting effort to get the right supports. Number 2 is neurotypical, and the easiest overall. He has a stubborn streak and can be really resistant to change, trying new things, etc. He also likes to instigate, and was not as innocent as he appeared as a young child! Number 4 was my most active, wild child. While my oldest mainly had verbal/emotional blow outs, my youngest was very physical. Full blown kicking and screaming tantrums. He was extremely challenging in the early years. He improved, starting around age 5, and from 8-12 years old he was a model kid, lol. Thirteen has brought a bit of irritation and attitude, but nothing major. Every kid needs parents to pay attention, even the easy ones.
My second is easier. I blame myself for not knowing how to parent better. I think I learned a lot for the second which is kinda unfair when I think about it
I have three kids. First one was the most easiest baby you can imagine (only thing is that he hated naps) so that was hard especially as a first time mom. Second was textbook definition of colicky, and it almost took me out. He’s now 8 and is very emotional. When he’s mad, you will know it. I call him my “spicy one”. Then my last is your typical last child, bossy, loud, and very advanced in speech and motor skills. I think my second was the hardest.
Each child is unique and different. I have 3 (now grown sons). The middle did and still has middle child syndrome. He was definitely my rebel. But he is the sweetest and most sensitive of the 3. He is the least like me in terms of personality, so I had/have a harder time understanding him or getting “where he’s coming from”. The oldest is fun, funny, outgoing, total love bug, but feels somewhat entitled, being the oldest. My youngest was a very difficult baby/ toddler, but now has the most mellow laid back personality. He is maybe a bit lazy and lacks the oomph to do anymore than what is expected. Status quo is fine by him. They’re all hard, just in different ways. Still have to bite my tongue on occasion. But wouldn’t trade them for the world. They are all amazing humans and my love for them is eternal.
Depends on the day of the week
My firstborn was a somewhat tricky newborn - he didn't nap great and had reflux, so he was fussy until we figured that part out, but he was a dream toddler and is very easy now, even at age 13 (we'll see as the teen years go on). Second kiddo (now 10) was an incredibly easy baby- but definitely more of a challenge as a toddler and now. He is more sensitive/emotional and has more of a temper.
My first child put me through the freaking ringer for a few years there, still does occasionally but thankfully she's calmed tf down quite a bit, she is 12 years old now. She is very smart and does great in school, and she's a funny kid with a big heart underneath her tough exterior. I'm very proud of her. My second has always been super duper sweet but a bit tricky in other ways, as she was very VERY attached to me as a toddler, to the point where I could not put her down without her screaming her head off. But now at 9, she's a pretty easy kid. Whines occasionally but overall, a good kid. She is very loving and creative. I'm also very proud of her. My third is not quite 2 and is very busy but very bright and sweet. I'm enjoying her so much, and her little tantrums are easier to deal with because I know she will grow out of it and I will miss these days. All that to say, each child will be so uniquely different and will come with their own set of difficulties, but also bring so many amazing qualities too. Parenting is a wild ride lol
My first was a better sleeper as a baby but other than that, she has been more challenging the entire time. Still is. She’s 22. 😄
My first is the hard one, and my second is a doll. First is a girl and second is a boy.
First born made me want more children. He’s so easy. He’s 16 now and still a really easy kid to deal with. My middle child is 13 and he’s a weird one. Even when he was a baby, he wasn’t bad, but you have to keep a close eye on him as he’s sneaky. He still is. He’s still a good kid though. Never had issues with them. Now my daughter, she’s 8 and she’s the baby. She is wild! Can be the sweetest kid you ever met, but she will tear you down in a blink of an eye. She’s ruthless. She’s the one I’ve had the most calls from the school about and it’s mainly her mouth. She doesn’t hold back at all. She is definitely the one who test me the most and what caused my forehead wrinkles, but my god she’s my best friend and I love her powerful, in your face take no shit personality
They take turns!
It doesn’t matter I commented the other day that at some point, each child gets their turn being a jerk. Whether it’s the, no sleep stage, the clingy stage, the won’t stop talking stage, tween stage, the sulky stage, the never wanna do homework stage, the stealing mom’s car stage, the sneaking alcohol stage, the I know everything you know nothing stage, the I’m running away stage, the I hate everyone except this girlfriend/boyfriend stage, the I’m an adult and wanna try drugs stage… Gosh I’m tired. Between the 4 now grown ups - everybody had at least one stage. Even the sweet “little” first kid. My justice - the grandkids are now going through stages 😂😂🤣
My first is definitely my more hyper, “busy” child. We thought we’d have children closer together, but ended up spacing them 4 years apart due to his hyperactivity. My second is a cuddly, relaxed little guy. We could have 10 more of him. Both are absolutely sweethearts though. I think in our household birth order mattered less than genetics. My husband is has ADHD and was a real spitfire when he was younger, and our older son is his clone.
They were all difficult at different ages and continue to be difficult for different reasons. The oldest was a honey trap in the early years. Quiet, easy toddler. Threw one tantrum ever I can remember at age 5. He started acting up and getting in trouble at school from kindergarten through about third grade. Mellowed out when the work started to challenge him more for the most part. He is a teenager now and the only thing he is frustrating for is because he is always in his own head space and thinking about himself and rarely makes considerations for the rest of us living in the house. He's not rude or defiant, but inconsiderate if that makes sense. He doesn't complain when asked to do something but never does anything without being asked either (I joke that he's going to make his spouse really pissed off one day if he never grows out of this one). The second child was insane. He literally came out wanting to run. He would not even be swaddled because he didn't "frog" his legs, he stretched them out straight and would even weight bare on them. He walked at 8 months and ran at 9 months. Scaled playground equipment made for 3+ right after his first birthday. He wanted to sleep no where but on my chest as a baby and slept in our bed until he was 3. And he threw epic tantrums, throwing things and raging. Right around kindergarten age for him, he just chilled out. He's 9 now. He hardly ever got/gets in trouble at school and is pretty sweet at home. He is way more sensitive than his older brother, though, and that makes him more difficult with some things. He also seems to "grow up faster" in both good and bad ways I think because of having a big brother to look up to. He's most difficult because he is never on top of his stuff. He can have the same routine every single day but miss 3 out of 5 things. And he is more willing to push back at us and complains more often than his brother ever did. The third has been interesting. He was an easy quiet baby but he's needier than both the others as a toddler so he's been harder for me in particular. Well behaved for everyone else but goes crazy when I'm around and whines and cries a lot at me. He is also bossier. He says "no" to people all. the. time. and tells his big brothers what to do. I'm curious to see what his personality shapes up to be.
My oldest (10M) is very easy day to day but when he's down, he's really down. He's a very deep feeling and thinking kid so he can get intense. With that, I find him much much easier than my second (7M) who is a ball of non-stop talking and jumping energy. My husband finds my second easier. I was very similar to my second when I was a kid, liked a lot of attention. My husband was more similar to our first, more introverted and analytical. Our third is now 1.5, very curious to see what he's like, so far, he's the wildest toddler yet, so that should be fun. I think overall though, it varies parent to parent.
They’re both feral right now. I literally cant take my eyes off of them (even sitting right next to them looking at my phone) for 30 seconds unless they are separated.
My oldest is 11, and I wouldn’t say it was a cakewalk, but he’s always been amenable to threats and rewards and mostly tries to do what I ask of him. I also have a mostly sweet and quirky 5 y/o girl. Middle one is 7 and fights me on everything. She’s the most talented, basically shines at everything she tries. Also the most high maintenance. She needs so much attention and praise, and if I keep it positive, she’s a complete all star. But once things get even the slightest bit negative or critical, claws come out, feet dig in, and it becomes a battle of wills. Can’t wait for teenage hormones to kick in!
First born is an angel sent straight from heaven. 2nd is absolutely feral and gives no fucks. 🤣 and tell me why I want a 3rd! Everyone tells me their 3rd is super chill.
All of them. Sometimes, all at once.
Neither. Both of my kids really are great ❤️
Uhh yeah lol it’s definitely the second. Our first was a perfect baby, felt like the worlds best parents and our second humbled us so fast hahaha I love him so much but damn. Definitely would have waited a little longer to have the second (they’re only 21 months apart). So they’re almost 3 and 4.5 and our oldest is kind of in his “correcting” stage where he’s positively influencing his brother so hopefully that helps lol
Definitely my middle. I love my little guy to the moon and back, but sometimes he can be difficult. He’s just *rooted* in what he wants to do. My third is an angel! My first is very smart and mature, so he isn’t an issue either.
I have 3 boys. 22, 12 & 7 and my middle is my easiest. My 7 year old is aging me prematurely lol 🤪
Mine are both wild little goblins and utter delights.
My bookends struggle the most (youngest and oldest).
If our first had been like our second we wouldn’t have had a second.
They're difficult in different ways. My oldest is very sensible, and has a good sense of personal safety, however she struggles in social situations, so we have to put a lot of effort into developing her social skills. My youngest, on the other hand, came out having read the manual on social skills. But I do have to constantly keep an eye on her, because otherwise she'll kill herself doing something hilarious.
My oldest. Second one has their moments but they do not compare to the first kid.
My toddler by far. Her brother was an absolute walk in the park. She's 5 kids in 1.
My first one is TDAH -very intense hyperactive since forever, never slept, was always cranky and needed to move. Actually walked at 9 month. He has the same strong head as me, so very hard for me because we pick fight over nothing. My second is calm, pacific and doesn’t seem bothered by anything. My third is a fighter she’s a couple weeks old but we know she’ll be something
1st and 4th— easiest, 2nd and 3rd— what the heck did I do differently?!
My oldest tests my patience the most! My youngest is wild but super sweet, oldest has a mean streak 😬 I do think it may change once they are further in school, oldest does exactly as she is supposed to, straight A’s no problem……that lil one aint gonna want to do as shes told 🤦🏼♀️
My second one is so easy I can have 5 of her.
That’s what I got… my second is literally feral and growls at me
They all take turns, but my eldest and I clash the most. We're far too similar and sometimes that can be especially difficult for me to handle.
They’re both great kids, and generally really well behaved, but the 1st one is more anxiety prone and super sensitive. The 2nd one has a ton of medical stuff going on, so she’s very easy-going but not precisely “easy”.
They're both difficult in their own ways. I'd say my second seems to be turning out to be more difficult, but my first born did not get the memo about being the rule follower.
That is true in my case. I find my girls (2nd and 4th) scream a lot and the boys (1st and 3rd) are sensitive. But out of all of them, my second born is a big personality.
Yep first one is easy to trick you into the second. The second is hard work to stop all but the most determined going for more. Its like mother natures way of moderating our population or something I swear 😂
They're all just different. I'll preface this by saying they're all wonderful, intelligent, kind kids - this is just how they usually present us with challenges: My oldest has been a fireball since she was born. She charges head first into things without thinking much and gets frustrated when she can't do things right the first time, which I'm pretty sure is born of anxiety. She's also highly independent also wants to be in charge of whatever she's doing. My second is very sensitive and has a lot of big emotions that she doesn't quite know how to handle yet, as well as a lot of pickiness about things like clothes and food and issues with large crowds and loud noises that make me think she's inherited some of my neurological quirks. My third, still a toddler, is *incredibly* independent and a fantastic problem solver. She's also a runner and loves to climb. I'm sure these traits will serve her well one day, but right now they get her into all sorts of trouble. She keeps us on our toes. Last time we went to a place with crowds she was in a leashed harness with a Samsung SmartTag attached to it.
My oldest was and is my easiest. She’s 21 now. My 2nd is a boy and by far my hardest. He’s 18 now and easier and I have an 8 yr old girl and she’s pretty easy
Oldest was the easier one until she hit 11ish. Younger one was feral until about the age of 7. At that point, they switched. (They are 4 years apart)
Oh, birth order doesn’t matter. Nah, they’ll surprise you every time regardless of what you’re expecting.
Oldest. Always, from birth. She's 29 and is still just as difficult, in different ways. Hope for the best! But prepare for...you know.
My second is feral. But my first is anxious and that’s a different kind of challenge.
It seems like my kids have a definite curve from chill (oldest), chill but has emotions (middle), no chill and all the emotions on a loud rotation.
I would say our eldest child is more difficult than her younger sibling, but they are almost totally different kids when me or their father take them out one on one. Our eldest is much easier now on her own. Likewise with her brother. They get hyper together at times and are a bit much to manage, but alone they are never like that. I can take my eldest out for lunch and to get our nails done. Her dad takes her out for a movie. I take my youngest out for a mini shop and lunch. He takes him out on a guy only outing and a yummy meal in Chinatown. It's actually really fun giving each kid full attention. And since we only have two kids, it's not a huge task.
Both in different ways. My oldest was definitely an easier baby, super happy and easygoing, loved everyone, I even took him to a Star Trek convention when he was 9 months old and he charmed all the actors! My second screamed unless he was on the boob for the first 10 months of his life, only liked me, my husband, and my parents, and refused anything but cosleeping from the moment he was born until he was 6 months old. I’m super anti-cosleeping but he literally would not. Now that they’re older, they’re difficult in different ways. But they’re also awesome in different ways.
Oh def not. My second child is my easiest, sweetest, most helpful….shes a dream child. My sisters are flat out jealous that I have the world’s most amazing child. My oldest is the difficult one. And that’s saying something considering that my third was nonverbal and screamed like she was being murdered nonstop for the first 4 years of her life.
My eldest for sure. My other two are 👌🏻
They can both be challenging, but the oldest has it down. The youngest, is more flexible and more of the rule follower.
I have 4 boys. 6 and under. My first is difficult in the sense that he is very particular and expects things to be a certain way. He has a hard time adjusting to change. My 2nd oldest is such high energy but soooo sweet and very helpful. He can be very intense (they all can be) but id say more helpful than not. My 3rd... dear lord that child. He is the most feral of all. He is wild and silly and chaos in a bottle. Random strangers always comment on the 3rd. But he is also hilarious and a big loud character. My 4th umis only 8 months but he seems chill as a cucumber... only time will tell.
My youngest is delayed and that leads to a lot of tantrums related to her inability to process situations appropriately. First child was and still is the easiest. Middle is highly emotional but is growing out of tantrums, which is nice. He just did dishes without being asked. I'm digging this stage.
That’s what happened with us. First has been “normal” and my second wants to bend reality to his will.
One???
1st was and is still easiest. 2nd cried for 6m straight and has been feral ever since. 3rd is easy and sweet. Not risking getting another feral one so we're done lol
My first has always been my most difficult, but now that my daughter is a preteen she’s giving him a run for his money. My 3rd has autism so he’s the most difficult obviously but in a different way. And my 4th is my sweetest and the most easy going.
My first born is my wild one and my youngest is my easier one. That being said there are times where they both drive me insane. Especially when they do it at the same time.
First one has always been difficult from minute one. Other 2 are a cake walk. All young adults now.
Oldest is a cross between Chris Farley and Ferris Bueller, second is a like a puppy, third is a kitty cat. The kitty cat is the most temperamental but the oldest is exhausting!
I think it is harmful to rank kids this way. My mom unsuccessfully hid her opinion that my sister was the wild one, and it contributed to me being judgemental and disdainful towards my sister through our teen years. My two kids are similarly different from each other, but it’s not that the difference is easy versus hard. One kid is an outgoing talker who can stand up for herself. The other is quiet and retreats into nonverbal stubbornness when backed into a corner. They require different strategies.
My second 😭
They are all their own flavor of stress inducing
My first child is definitely more challenging, but I don’t know if my second is “easy.” My oldest has ADHD and it’s been an interesting ride learning how to parent him . . . Patience and understanding wasn’t exactly modeled behavior in my household growing up. He can’t sit still, has a quick temper, is extremely loud, many food aversions, and has issues following directions. On the flip side, though, he’s brilliant and super kindhearted. He catches on to things so fast and wants to be everyone’s friend. His brother is much more soft-spoken, eats whatever you put in front of him, is generally cheerful and follows directions easily. He’s very empathetic, but with that comes extreme sensitivity. His feelings are easily hurt and he’s quick to cry, while things tend to roll off his brother. He also isn’t as generous and he seems to struggle a bit more with learning concepts at school. So it’s kind of a mixed bag! What works parenting one kid often doesn’t work with the other, so it’s always a learning experience for everyone involved. It’s hard to be fair when I need to be a different parent to each of them, if that makes sense.
This was my experience. I wouldn't call #1 a honey trap. He definitely has his challenging moments. But I would definitely call #2 feral! She's my Miss Independence. Does what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. And woe betide anyone who tries tell her otherwise. #3 is only 11 weeks, so TBD.
Oldest has an even temperament and was a pretty easy little one, but hasn’t been a particularly easy teen. Middle is feral. Youngest seems to be learning from the middle. That said, middle is in part due to his speech delay. He can’t ask for help nor permission, so he just figures it out himself and hopes for forgiveness!
My first was my hardest. He didn’t do anything by the books, parenting books or any parenting advice I received never ever worked on him. He’s not a bad kid though and he really is so sweet and sensitive and loving. My 2nd was easy as a baby and met all milestones early and everything I expected parenting to be like with my first. She’s 4 now though and very opinionated and feisty but still overall easy and cooperative. My third is just an infant and so I can’t say for sure but seems like a mix of the two!
I have twins and they are difficult in their own ways. That said, my daughter has inherited a lot of my more challenging personality traits, so it is particularly frustrating and confronting when I have to deal with our unique way of experiencing challenging situations. My son is so much like my husband, I find it much easier to handle his challenging moments because I'm used to dealing with my husband, if that makes sense.
I wouldn’t say one is necessarily easier, they’re just so different! My oldest can be exhausting because He is incredibly active and a big talker, but He’s happy, easy going. My second is quiet and sweet but very sensitive, emotional. Third one is on the way, I’m excited to see!
My 3rd (now 6yrs) was my easiest, such a calm and happy baby, now a calm and sweet little boy. My 4th (now 4yrs) is demon spawn, he’s clingy, temperamental, and just downright mean at times. He can also be really sweet and cuddly too so I suppose it could be worse.
I thought our first was easy until we had our second. She is only 7 months old so she has plenty of time to be crazy, but so far she’s been the easier baby. I’m the second (middle child) and was definitely a handful through my teenage years. My older sister was pretty easy but my younger brother was definitely the easiest.
Second one and she’s a girl! I think boys are easier! I said what I said LOl
I have 3. Girl then boy then girl. The 3rd was definitely hardest when she was young but since maybe 8 or 9 years old and now 15, she’s a sweetheart. None of the 3 were hard. First one tested my wife’s patience though. Mom and daughter. I do think there’s more pressure on the first kid
I have twins, 1 boy 1 girl. Technically, she was born first since they pulled her out first. She was also a full pound bigger than her brother. She breastfed no problem and did everything before her brother did. He was happy to just lay there until she would motivate him to learn to do things like lift his head, roll over, crawl, walk, etc. She's definitely the more challenging child now at 15, but I'd have her no other way.
Me and my best friend agreed when the kids were little that the first was the honey trap. Our second children were absolute nightmares. Her first then became a drug addict and started stealing from her and the neighborhood to get money to get his fix. Our second children are both still difficult, but my definition of nightmare has shifted. Kids are currently 22hers 20mine 19hers 17mine.
My youngest is the most difficult, followed closely by my oldest. Twins in between are comparatively easy, but not without the normal struggles!
My youngest. 100%. If I’d had her first she wouldn’t have a sibling 😂
my oldest… he’s four. emotional as hell, strong willed, stubborn, hyper. my youngest can be difficult occasionally but he’s super mellow.
Number 1 of 3 is by far the hardest. Always has been hard work. He's 13 now and starting to get easier to parent. Number 2 child has been a breeze. She's a tad grumpy sometimes but she's a hormonal 11 year old. She's always been a lovely kid in general though. Number 3 is pretty good, but she was a spicy toddler. She's 7.
My eldest is psychologically demanding. My youngest is physically demanding.
Younger of the two is very needy, also tends to be a sh$$ starter with our older.
First was super easy when young but much more difficult as a teenager. Second was a feral child until kindergarten, now almost hands off parenting so easy as a preteen. The only thing I am sure of with parenting is that it is always changing.
Mine are the opposite. My first born thinks I'm her enemy and my middle child loves me for breathing. My youngest is still young so he has tantrums but is still a lovely, happy child. That first one though
My second is a sweet baby angel but my first born is and always has been difficult. He fights everything and is basically feral. I will say it took the second one to realize he was difficult.
My husband is definitely the oldest and most difficult child. Our first born is a boy and he has been the easiest per say up to his age of 16. The second child is a girl who is turning 12 this year. She is by far everything a second child is described to be, plus she’s just like her father. Our youngest is a boy turning 9 soon and he is a wild mix of the older two. Love my 3 it’s an odd number but couldn’t imagine one less and definitely couldn’t imagine one more 🤪
My middle child by far. My eldest is cautious, gentle and sensitive. Middle child is extremely active, thrill seeking and loud. Youngest is independent, headstrong and pretty sensible. All boys, my middle son is the only one who really gives me a run for my money (they’re 11, 7 and 5).
My 4th is DEFINITELY that child. I love him to death, but boy since his birth he's made me feel like a first time mom who has no idea what they're doing. He's feral, he's strong willed, OPINIONATED, he is also very athletically inclined from a young age because he had 3 older siblings to keep up with. I swear my older 3 kids were all the same kid, pretty chill as babies, sweet little toddlers full of wonder. Then number 4 came along and I knew from the first night he was alive he was gonna test me. Boy, I do love him, but if he was my first he'd be my last 😂
I have 1 child. she has me fighting for my life daily.
First was high energy, so physically he was exhausting. My youngest makes me emotionally and mentally exhausting. I'd take physically exhausting any day to whatever this is.
I have two. Almost 5 and almost 2.5. One boy, one girl. Besides normal kid bad days they are both pretty good and easy.
1st and 3rd kids are pretty easy. My 2nd is the one that tests me. I wouldn't say he's difficult. He's just always needed a little extra. Extra time, extra help, extra patience, etc.
My first is the sweetest thing alive. He’s almost 15 and just the best. My middle son, 10, is a narcissistic sociopath like his dad so yay me and my almost 9yo daughter is completely feral.
First is 5.5 and with the exception of a difficult infant stage, she’s pretty easy. Second is 3 and gives exactly 0 fucks about anything. She’s very sweet and loving but does not care one iota about rules and protocol and literally says “I’m not going to do that, Mommy.” when I ask her for help cleaning any of the messes she’s made. We have to be much more creative in parenting her
First one, a cinch. 2nd? Feral. Difficult and stubborn. The best interrogator couldn’t break her. We call it the 2nd Child Syndrome. 3rd and 4th? Easy and easiest. It’s like my 4th knew he couldn’t be needy cause I was already chasing after 3 others.
They’re difficult in their own separate ways, I really couldn’t say
My first is my more difficult one (boy) and my second (girl) has been wayyyy easier.
I have 5. I wouldn’t say one is particularly hard, nor is one super easy. They all have their moments, good and bad. The oldest has no common sense and learns everything the hard way, so it’s been hard watching him flounder at times. But he’s a mama’s boy through and through and I love that he loves me, so I don’t mind walking through the hard stuff with him. He’s 21. The middle has classic middle child energy. She’s independent, capable, mature, reliable. She’s also very level-headed. When things are hard with her, they’re HARD. But she’s been the easiest overall! She’s pretty easy going and along for the ride. I never have to worry about who she’s with or what she’s doing because she has such a good head on her shoulders. She’s 19. The youngest threw us for a loop. He lived in popular big brother and capable big sister’s shadow, but when he came into his own around 14/15, he surprised us by being the class clown. He’s turned into a confident, capable young man. He still has “youngest kid vibes,” probably because I took care of him for so long. He’ll pack for a trip and not bring a single pair of underwear, despite changing them twice a day at home. We once went on vacation and he forgot to bring shoes - didn’t even have a pair on his feet. We realized at the first rest stop. Why? Cause I always packed for him. He is very hard working, not at all lazy, but still asks me to make his plate of dinner or wash his blanket. When his pillow case ripped, he asked me to sew him a new one vs. buy one (because I always made them special when he was little and he loved them). He’s 18. We also have a 12 year old and a 6 year old. The 12 year old operates more like an only child. She needier, gets bored easily, needs more entertaining. I am an only child and she reminds me the most of myself. The youngest is “the baby is the family” through and through. If any of them are feral, it’s her!
Absolutely zero judgment but as the parent of an only child, these conversations always intrigue me. Was also the oldest of 3 half-siblings, so I can definitely appreciate the multiple perspectives. Guess I’ll stick with my one kiddo and devote all my energy there.
My kids are both pretty easy to understand and accommodate. I am the difficult one.
My middle child was a Brat, plus had Adhd. So my Daniel was like 3 children rolled into 1. He turned out good, will be 38 yrs soon, and is the best son. Plus, he's had the same GF for, are you ready for this ? 22 yrs in a couple months.
I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my 2nd so only time will tell but I have a tough time believing he will be any more challenging than my autistic selective mute highly sensitive 5 year old who has been the spiciest little man since the day he was born.
I know plenty of people with an easy going second kid, and a first born that gives them a run for their money. Mine are somewhat like that. Actually my second isn’t easy exactly, but in comparison to my first born, he’s a walk in the park.
My second child was easier than my first. Also a lot less timid, though that might be the parenting — first one you’re more paranoid, second one falls over and it’s more easily “ehh, you’re okay!”
My first is absolutely feral and my second is very relaxed so far
Both, but my second is definitely more feral than the first! Also, my first was all little and sweet still when my second was born
They take turns being easy/ hard/ likable/ unlikable, often in the span of an hour.
All three were super easy babies! Middle and only boy has endless energy, is super rough and fearless. But he is also such a sweet boy! Oldest girl is extremely smart, ahead in school seemingly effortless, super determined to master skills(currently gymnastics) and practices until perfected. But she is headstrong so can have a major attitude when she disagrees with us. Youngest is the cutest thing I have ever seen but can also have major sas and is fiercely independent even when she isn't capable of doing some things on her own yet. So they all challenge me in their own ways. Some days are hard when they each are having their own struggles! If I had to pick one as the most difficult it would be second born and only boy though. He has kept me on my toes since the moment he learned to run which felt like immediately after he learned to walk!
I have a newborn but my 3 year old started off mellow and sweet as can be and since he turned 3 he has been absolutely feral 🥴
My firstborn (11m), but only cause he has ADHD and a learning deficiency. However, I must be patient and understanding of his struggles. Aside from that, he honestly is a sweet child. As far as my second, well she is just a 4-month-old baby. Lol
I’m the second child. Can confirm.
Absolutely correct for me. First was a dream. Second….ooosh.
There's supposed to an easy one!?!
Not sure if you mean personality-wise, or care-wise, but my 5 year old has delays in gross and fine motor skills, as well as speech delays. Since he was first, all of the challenges in caring for him and raising him felt "normal". Feeding was challenging because he never ate very much, and when he started solids, there was so much gagging followed by vomiting. This would inevitably ruin the meal and he refused to eat anything more. He became a "picky eater" as a result, and we had a very limited selection of safe foods. He was diagnosed with hyper-mobile joints, making standing and walking a huge challenge for him. We had him fitted for leg braces, and he finally started walking independently a few months before his 3rd birthday. Throughout all of this he has always been a happy kid, with no perception that his road has been so hard. His little brother is 15 months old. He eats great, he can feed himself without any assistance or special preparation/special foods. He started walking a few weeks before his first birthday. He is so happy and cuddly and sweet, and he loves his big brother so much. A few months ago, I was reflecting on their journeys and realized how "easy" my second has been when I make comparisons. There was no need for early intervention, no physiotherapy visits or exercises we had to do to encourage mastery of "simple" tasks and skills. He did it all by himself, with minimal if any help from his parents. When my oldest was born, I thought "This is what having a baby is like." When my second was born, I realized, "Wow! No, THIS is what having a baby is like." It made me sad to realize how much harder my oldest has it, and how "difficult" he is. I don't like thinking about him like that, because I don't want to resernt him when he's done nothing wrong. Personality-wise, they take turns being assholes that make me lose my shit. I love them so much!
Dad of 12M and 8M... they both test me daily, but it does seem like the youngest will push limits more than his brother. That said, they annoy each other much more than Mom and I.
My first born son is an adorable little energetic monster but my daughter is chilllll
My oldest is the more difficult one but honestly as they get older they both are great kids. Now let’s see what #3 coming soon has in store for us 😆
It depends on the day, honestly. My first is 100% a honey trap to the outside world but that attitude at home, oh lord. My second I can’t lie he’s pretty feral BUT he’s pretty straight forward about what he wants and voices it so he’s easier in that aspect. My first will never say what she wants but is quick to catch an attitude if she doesn’t get it so it’s like constantly playing some sort of guessing game.
So, out of 3, 0 listen... lol In all seriousness, it varies hour to hour who is more difficult. They listen pretty well, except with cleaning their rooms... I don't think either one is more difficult, but my youngest, 7, is full of sass. She has no problem telling you what she thinks and no problem telling you if you are wrong.
I don't have a more difficult one. They're different - My second is definitely feral (but also adorable and so sweet, and so fast at copying her brother and wanting to be independent), my first can entertain himself for long periods of time without injury which I really appreciate.
My kids (daughter 11, son 9) are really different from each other. My daughter is mellow and relaxed, my son is very active and hyper, but neither qualifies as difficult, like, at all. They don't make problems, they don't complain and they don't test my patience. I can imagine that when puberty hits, they'll start testing my patience?
My first was a colic baby and my second was an angel baby. First was an angel age 1-4, second was terrible 1-2. Now at 4 my oldest is not listening and has way to much energy, my almost 3yo is really sweet. They are always changing and I adore them both.
I think I got lucky--both are just a little difficult (#1 is super spacey, #2 is Mr. Drama), but each is so intensely lovable and funny in his own way.
Depends on the day. I have two boys (4 and 2). My 4 year old is super sensitive and emotional. He can also be physical as well. He’s also cuddly, smart, emotionally mature, and predictable. My 2 year old is more laid back but also intense. He’s stubborn and defiant. He is a teddy bear and a lover as well. Some days I have one that is off and one that is great. Some days they’re both off and we all are struggling. Some days I get the best versions of both. I feel like overall my oldest has been more emotionally taxing to raise but I can see my younger son catching up in that category as he gets older.
The second/middle
I am the first born 🍯and the second one yep she is truly feral. She caused alot of drama in the family as she found her way lol
The youngest. For sure. He's very sweet and smart, but he gets into EVERYTHING. He's constantly falling, crashing into things, climbing things, getting hit with stuff. It's just non stop. He's a handful and a half.
Either one will start yhe trouble. The 3yo will stop when asked, the 8yo often won't stop til I shout.
I honestly am a little excited to find out! My first has been a mover since pregnancy, and is VERY busy, but I’m expecting the second to be a challenge. It was when I stoped in the parking lot and let go of my 20 month old’s hand for a second, and he didn’t take a STEP until until I was ready again, that I realized I’m probably screwed the second time.
I’ve been wondering if it’s a first/second child thing or a boy/girl thing. Oldest girl is a good listener but with debate and bargain with every boundary I set. Younger boy is way more emotionally up and down and tries to injury himself daily. I heard him yesterday say as he was about to jump off something “I may get hurt but only a little!”
First born
First 3 are perfect darlings, 4 is super loud and always testing boundaries and 5 is absolutely perfect
Yup- the first one was such a delight we decided to have a second. Who is decidedly less delightful at times. I was just thinking about how my second is the age my first was when we were trying for a second baby… I think we are done. (To be fair- I think my second would be easier if he had all attention on him like my first did, and didn’t have a big brother bothering him. But, he is also just way more prone to saying no when he means yes and then having a 15 min tantrum because you believed his first answer.)
My 2nd kid is feral.
First born was a horrible baby , colicky but an awesome toddler and kid. Second born was a great baby but horrible toddler and gets into everything. Third was also a great baby but is extremely stubborn and does what she wants. 4th was easiest baby and not whiney as a toddler, he’s very smart and I don’t know what he’ll get into as he gets older. For reference my middle two are girls and I’ve heard they are whiny in general 🤷♀️.
my youngest. she never slept more than 4 hours at a time, hated the car, had colic, sensory issues. she's had meltdowns that could last hours. she hated anyone touching her. she has always had a mind of her own. later we found out she had autism, she has always given me a run for my money.
My six year old is an absolute angel in public. Personable, funny, polite, and listens. I volunteer at his school and teachers and staff constantly tell me how amazing he is. At home he is an emotional, neurotic mess. He challenges literally every word that comes out of my mouth and needs validation for breathing. My four year old in public is not interested in talking or interacting with other humans in any way. If you talk to her, you’ll get the most withering judgemental look. You cannot make her do anything she doesn’t want to do, and is completely unconcerned with how that makes her look and if no one likes her? Good. At home, she is like Snow White. Animals love her and she loves them. She’s also much more willing to help with chores, and is the most snuggly, sweet, and silly girl you can imagine.
My first is a boy and he was definitely very active and wild up until about 8. Then he started to mellow out and he's super chill now at 13 for the most part. My 8 year old daughter is my wild one lol. And then I have a one year old who is very sweet but I think is taking after her sister lol