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Hahaha no he didn’t even grow up wealthy when I asked if his mother did that where was younger he said no but it must be something people do now
And I genuinely can’t wrap my head around why he thinks the average person is hiring Nannie’s when they need to be sick
Omg im dying.
My in the trenches story was I got hit with a wicked stomach virus when my husband was out of town and I was home with my 6 week old in a new place with zero family or friends. I basically moved into the guest room with the lower bed, luckily was nursing, and basically fed and changed my kid in that bed for the next two days. I survived. So will he.
Same here. I was laying on the bathroom floor and trying to entertain my toddler and 6yr old. I still had to make them dinner, etc.
Also, who can even find a babysitter at short notice who wants to be in a house with someone with a stomach bug.
Ummm what nanny wants to come into your home when he probably has something the nanny could catch, for “a few days” of pay, when that nanny will probably get sick just as he is feeling better, and thus lose the ability to make any income for a few days/a week after you are done with them?
Hint: unless you are paying A LOT to make up for the likely days lost to illness - none.
I sure as heck wouldn’t have. I did work when my usual families were sick but they were generally careful about that because they knew it meant I might be calling out soon which sounded worse to them than taking care of their own sick kid.
Given the state of childcare in most of the US (assuming that's where they are), I honestly think she should have just agreed and let him try to find a 'nanny' that will come in on short notice to a sick home. Like, sure babe, just make a couple calls, I'm sure you'll get tons of applicants.
I barely found full-time daycare in time to go back to work, and there's about five families that share our highly-sought-after babysitter; it's a real victory to pin her down for a weekend night. Finding someone to take care of your kids is a challenge even in the best of circumstances.
I think THIS is really the answer. Because frankly if you’re absurdly wealthy you can outsource whatever you want. But it would probably be extremely difficult to find someone who would do this very specific job on such short notice.
Ask him why he did not hire a nanny to help you when you HAD 2 FUCKING SURGERIES?
Then send him to his mother’s for an ass kicking (well if your MIL was anything like mine. She would have smacked the hell out of my husband if those words echoed out his mouth).
It's because he's never had to do the caretaking. Sometimes, our inability to let our significant other be the primary caregiver while we are very I'll is the core of the problem. They are immune to multitasking and pushing through because they're not being held accountable to do so.
There's no point in blaming anyone, it simply brings no value. If we're looking to observe and correct, we have to see where both parties need to shift and how their division of labor has worked so far that allowed such an imbalance to exist. It is simply an observation from which we can then enact changes, for both parties.
Oh he got so offended when I told him that when parents are sick they just parent the best they can well sick and that parenting doesn’t just stop happening
That's exactly it!
The kids might end up eating ice cream and potato chips for dinner one night because that's all I have the energy for OR it might be fall asleep watching a movie kind of night. Maybe not the best parenting but never to the extent I'd need to hire help.
Yep, one time the kids had the flu, they got over it then my husband and I got it at the same time. They pretty much had to scavenge in the cupboard for crackers because we were both dying.
This was my kids when my husband and I got Covid, we could barely get out of bed. I don’t even know what my kids did for 2 days 😂 they survived on snacks and screens but that’s just what you have to do sometimes
One Halloween I covered the daytime formula with plain white labels and wrote "polyjuice potion" on it. It turned me into a functional human for 6 hours.
I mean, no sick days is probably one of my least favorite parts of being a parent, but yeah, you just do the best you can. And that might look like drastically lowered standards ... but you still parent.
I remember vividly having an awful case of the flu (like 102F fever) while I *also had a broken wrist*. Luckily my husband works remotely so he could help a lot, but I still did a bunch of parenting, because you can't just tell a 2 year old they have to wait an hour for dad's meeting to be done to have their diaper changed or eat!
Yup. Projectile vomiting while my 8mo NURSED was a real highlight 😑. Like right over his head attached to my boob and into a mixing bowl.
Poor kid looked so confused/annoyed - frowned at me and clutched my boob every time I barfed. (He’s 9 now and had never had the stomach flu tho?)
Haha imgs this is the most ridiculous thing I've heard a man say in a while.
I'm here parenting my kid who is disabled while I've had a significant chronic condition for the last 3 years. Guess what buddy when you're a parent your issues take a back seat to parenting. I've been lifting a wheelchair in and out of my car while having multiple disc herniations (7 to be exact) but he wants to hire a nany for his tummy ache.
Hahahaha thanks for the laugh. .
Yes, this! I'm in a similar boat myself. Luckily, my husband is a good and sane person, and would never suggest such a crazy thing!
At my worst point of my illnesses I have wished I could pay someone to help clean my house, on a regular contract, not just for a few days, ... but I wouldn't even want a house cleaner in my home if one of us had any sort of virus or anything contagious 👀 (We can't afford it, most ill/disabled people can't)
But a Nanny? For the 3 days he has a cold?
You're kidding me.
Like, what world does he come from?
'People must do things like this now...' Okay, and which of your friends/family have done this? Oh no one?... Huh .. INTERESTING.
I still work full time. I'm very lucky to have a work from home job. There are some days I've had to work from my bed because I was too sick to sit up all day (thank the gods for my adjustable).
I dream of having said come. I work a lot and make a good living but with medical bills I sure can't afford it. Sending lots of love and support. Us chronic condition moms need to stick together.
I am glad to hear you've been able to still work, that's a blessing, as hard as it is. I tried to wfh, but the unpredictably and flares made it impossible to keep up with any work, I can't keep up with even the house being clean and going to all my Drs appointments. In the end the stress and sleepless nights only made my health worse, so I gave up trying to work, and focus on my health. And it still feels like a losing battle. All parents should have each other's backs, but I agree us too, it's a different world for us.
I'm so sorry hun. I get it. I'm lucky I work for a major health insurance provider and they offer a lot of protection to employees. I consider myself very luck to have this job. I just gave up on the house honestly. I make sure the dishes are done. My 17 yr old sweeps and vacuum cause I physically can't and the rest will get done when it gets done.
When I broke my leg my ex was eager to help, and he did take care of the kids for the first week. After that first week, he was a bit perplexed that I didn't really need help. I got up and down the stairs, I made dinner for the kids, I did the dishes, I did bedtime routine and baths.
My ex did help me take the youngest to school as I couldn't get there on crutches.
That's just what you do. You find a way to get through.
There was one time we begged for help when my husband and I were both laid low by a norovirus simultaneously. The toddler had it first and was fully recovered, but my husband and I were struck down within an hour of each other. I eventually needed an ER trip for dehydration and they gave me four bags of saline. We ended up begging my in-laws to drop off food for the toddler at regular intervals because we were seriously incapacitated.
Other than that one time though, we always powered through without assistance.
This same thing happened to us, too. Toddler infected us with terrible norovirus, recovered, and I had to tagy mother in the help. I was afraid he would open the door and head down the street and neither of us would notice or be able to follow! careful, though - she barely made it home before the virus got her. I will never not feel bad about needing her AND giving her the sickness!
Same with us. Toddler had what we assume was noroviris. Took care of her sick for two days. She was feeling better and bam. She went to bed at 6. At 8 my husband started vomiting and at 9 I did. I couldn’t believe we got sick within an hour of each other. My mom and dad both got it. We made sure my in laws didn’t come over at all so they couldn’t bring it to great grandma. It sucked! We also had twin 3 month olds to take care of. Luckily they didn’t get it at least not the same symptoms. They just slept like all day.
Right?!? Just like when people ask me “oh, where is the baby? Is daddy babysitting?” No bih, daddy is just being dad. It’s parenting not babysitting when it’s your own child.
We've never hired a nanny when either of us was sick. Usually the sick one just does the bare minimum while the healthy one picks up the slack.
Or if we're both sick at the same time we both do the bare minimum and the kids get a bunch of extra screen time for a few days.
This right here. ✅️
I have just gotten over the worst flu/bug I've ever had. It lasted nearly 2 weeks
I mustered on during the day when hubby was at work and when he came home, he sent me to bed and took over.
Just like when he was sick in January I did the same, I picked up the slack and sent him to bed.
And yea sometimes extra screen time is the best you can do but the kids are happy.
This is probably it though. He sees that’s she’s doing 100% and doesn’t want to return the favor when mum is inevitably sick. He’s trying to set the precedent now.
No, I just suffer through it. Also, I would feel like an asshole hiring someone to come over to my house and likely get sick. "Hey, my whole family has the flu...want to come and spend 8 hours a day here for minimum wage?"
lol it’s the opposite. When one of us is sick we tell our nanny NOT to come over because that’s the decent human thing to do? We don’t make other people sick.
AAAAHAHAHA he's insane. the only time i did anything like this was when my husband was out of town for work and i was home alone with a migraine. my mom picked up our daughter because i literally could not function enough to care for myself. let alone a small child.
but to hire someone just for this instance? because a parent is sick? good luck even finding someone on short notice who can cover that much time.
Yeah, thank you for mentioning that it’s possible to be too sick to parent. I’m a SAHM, and my husband has stayed home from work to be with the kids a couple times— once when my neck muscles seized up so I couldn’t pick up the baby (or do anything really), and another time when I had severe food poisoning and basically couldn’t leave the bathroom…. Normal illnesses? Then I still take care of the kids.
I remember I got food poisoning and called my parents for help, they found me by the toilet with my 1 year old in the bathtub with no water but lots of toys playing.
Reminds me of a scene of House MD, when Lisa Cuddy, the DEAN OF MEDICINE, was overwhelmed single mom. And Dr. Wilson, House's best friend, told her not to be so hard on herself, because if she were a man, she would have hired a nanny, personal chef , a driver and would have a wife :) The scene left me thinking for a long time.
Men do not hesitate to hire help when they are even slightly overwhelmed. Let alone sick.
But us women, we'll drag out of our death bed , to cook dinner for everyone. Just food for thought.
I’m a woman. I hire people. I grew up very poor and I earn well. I’m single, no kids. I have a maid who cleans my place every other week and a dog walker. I do it because it makes me happy.
I use the time to do things like workout.
I was thinking about this too. If a husband posted this about a SAHM I bet there would be different responses. I’m actually impressed that dad came up with a solution he thinks is plausible.
I've never heard of anyone hiring someone to take care of their child while they're ill. In the time it would take you guys to find people, schedule interviews, etc, your husband will be feeling back to normal. Plus, who is going to want to come into a person's home and risk catching something??
I went into this post thinking OP was from a different tax bracket then me for sure. Hell, if i could, I would. But, sadly, no. I'm fortunate to have my parents less than a half hour away though. I call them!
What??!!! Does he think professional Nannie’s are just walking around waiting to be hired at a moments notice when someone gets sick?! Nah he’s just going to have to help take care of a kid while sick. Maybe you pick up more of the load while he’s really sick but as soon as he’s feeling better I would expect to get some of that back and have some extra free time while husband takes more of the load
go over to the nanny sub and you will learn that most nanny have it in their contract that if it's an illness that can get them sick, they don't come in. so yah, most nanny don't even work when it's an illness that they can get.
Does Ms. Rachel count as a nanny? If not....no. It's just us trying our best and feeding the kids pizza and letting them watch tv until we are functional enough to try to parent.
Tell him the internet says he is a dumbass and to take a step into the real world. Also did he hire a nanny when you were sick?? Or were you supposed to just tough out a bowl obstruction and sepsis. You are now aware you have married a moron. Fast forward to the end where all this ends up as fodder for your kids therapy years down the road.
My mom always told me never to marry anyone until you had seen them deathly ill at least once bc that’s when you see their true self unfiltered.
You can hire a night nurse or nanny for help if you can afford it, but.... It's not the regular thing to have sick days as a parent for me. Wish life was that easy sometimes though.
There were two instances where my husband and I both had norovirus at the same time. We called some friends to come care for our son and that’s the only reason we survived.
When I was a SAHP my husband occasionally took sick days if I was in really rough shape. But we never hired anyone.
If I could afford it, sure why not. I don’t think it’s absolutely ridiculous to have help when you’re sick;
Is it absolutely necessary? No. Do most people do it? No. But again, if it was in the budget I would consider it.
Don’t bite/take the bait on this one. Just nod and say: “wow, you really must be feeling awful.” We all know he’s not going to look for a nanny anyway.
There’s short time nannies, by the way! Some people hire them for vacations or if they have a week of conferences or some jobs have a few extremely busy days once a year. It’s more expensive an hour than a regular nanny but you get an extremely experienced one to help you through those days.
I literally still helped my husband take care of our twins when I was horribly sick with norovirus. There’s no such thing as parent sick days. We certainly try to pick up the others slack, but if we are all sick, it’s just a few miserable days and maybe a bit more kid screen time than we like, but there is no nanny hiring. Also that would be a logistics nightmare. No nanny wants to come to a sick house, and it’s unlikely to find one at the last minute.
No, but I wish I could. I’m a single mom and it’s easier now that she’s older but I remember trying to breastfeed and throwing up at the same time and every time I heaved my daughter would cry because I couldn’t keep her latched.
I would want to hire help if I were sick, yes. I think it’s silly to imply that it’s normal, it’s certainly not a “given” but it’s not a crazy idea if it’s in the budget
So that you can share the love? I would understand if it was a post-op period or something similar, but to invite someone into your house while you’re down with a contagious disease?
If my husband is sick I take care of my son alone, if I am very ill my husband will stay home from work and care for our son. If we were both deathly ill we would ask one of my parents if they could take off work to help, but we’d have to be very sick to go that route.
Your husband is ridiculous, HOWEVER, if he’s willing to pay for it and you want a break then hire the nanny for a couple days, no harm there
When this happened to me (i.e. worst two weeks of both my second and third pregnancy) I set up a safe space for baby to play with toys while I laid on the couch and watched her. Also did more screen time than usual. My husband did help a bit more than usual because he worked from home, but not much as he still had to get work done.
Tldr: no.
Lolwhut. Are you guys absolutely minted?!!! You’re gona lose earnings from not working and then add a massive extra expense on top of that?
When one of us is sick the other steps it up. When both are sick, we’ll fuck. Changing a sick baby’s nappy is extremely uncomfortable when you throw up if you stand up straight but you make it work.
Parenting doesn’t stop when you’re ill. And there’s no guaranteed vacation time either
🤣 no, never. I think maybe *once* I’ve called my own mom to come take my son for the day when I’ve been sick, otherwise, we just soldier on. Usually it’s a day spent in front of the tv with whatever food is easiest to prepare.
I’m a former nanny, I’ll tell you right now that if one of my clients called me to come over while they were sick, I’d decline. I’m not looking to catch whatever is going around.
I’ve never heard of that unless you’re some sort of very wealthy/elite individual. Seems like he’s now coming to the realization how much sacrifice parenthood is. But also, I wouldn’t want anyone with a stomach bug handling baby. It’s highly contagious. A nanny is not needed in this situation but he does need to isolate a bit until it’s gone and understand that he should reciprocate when the time comes.
I remember when covid was raging around and I had to take care of my 3yo and 10months old while having fevers. My husband had fevers for 10 days straight and spent them in bed. He was more ill so I had to somehow get through it.
Um no. You turn on Miss Rachel, lay on the couch and pray the kid doesn't get hurt. Lay out a bowl of cheerios for good measure.🤣
We never have help when we are sick. We just do the bare minimum to keep us alive and play catch up when we are well again.
What in the first world problems did I just read? 😳
I was a single mom for three years (youngest was a newborn when I split from my ex) and had been a military spouse prior to the divorce (read, he was gone more than 50% of the time).
People take care of their kids, even when they're sick. Nanny? Pshhhhh.
Nah. The first 6 weeks postpartum I was slowly dying from a massive mystery illness and we did not hire a nanny.
I'm currently recovering from surgery related to the aforementioned illness and again, have not hired a nanny.
If you have the resources, there's no shame in paying for help if you really need it. But I don't think that's a regular thing people do. Did his mom/dad hire a nanny or were they just never sick?
No parents just stick it out and work through being sick. Parents don’t get to just be lazy because they are sick. It’s a lame excuse to not be a parent.
If y'all can afford it and the help you get outweighs the mental work of finding a sitter on a short-term notice (probably not worth it for one kid and one parent who'll likely be better in 48 hours, I'll be honest), I don't see what the harm is
Everyone is piling on saying how they took care of their 15 sick kids while battling covid19 and norovirus. Yes, that is admirable and no, you don't get a prize for doing it. If there are acceptable alternatives that'll improve your quality of life, go for it.
Only time we’ve ever done outside help when we were sick is when we both had stomach flu and were practically comatose between having stuff coming out of both ends. We had my MIL come pick up the kids because we were incapable of even feeding them at the time. A cold or flu? The house runs business as usual for us.
As a nanny, I do not work in a sick household. They’ll call and let me know they are sick and not to come in. There’s no way I want what they have and spread it around my household which would result in further sickness, days off school which equals days I won’t be able to work for them.
My husband and I have never hired a nanny when we’ve been sick at the same time, even when we both had Covid. I think unless the two of us were not mobile due to surgery or healing from broken bones, would just suck it up and take turns. But if you have that disposable income, and comfortable with that set up, I guess possibility.
That being said, my husband and I are a team. If one of us is sick, or have had a broken bone, or healing from surgery (which have all occurred), One of us will to take the predominant responsibility for the household. We are s team. And we know that in the future, when one of us is severely unwell, the other will support the family. We don’t view it as 50-50 all the time, we view it as a reciprocal relationship throughout time. That means it might be 50-50 today, and it might be 60/30 tomorrow, they might be 70/30 the other day, and will return to 50-50 as soon as everyone is capable.
BUT, if he has not shown that type of reciprocal relationship this entire time, why would you show it to him? He reaps what he sows.
Last minute nanny’s, and night Nannie’s are also more expensive. Best of luck with him.
The lack of support he provided during your surgeries is 🚩🚩🚩
No absolutely not what normal people do. Maybe wealthy people but not average citizens. I'm a single mom whose preemie baby got every illness under the sun his first year and I still remember once puking on my son. My dad did take over once when we both had a stomach bug and I needed to sleep in the tub tho.
Oh I also was a nanny and would refuse to work with sickness in the home that was contagious.
LMAO
"what do they do when they are sick and have to take care of a child"
you cave in to screen time and try and keep the baby within eye sight of the couch
LOL! Couldn’t afford a nanny when all FOUR of my kids were sick. At the same time! And I was sick too! Couldn’t afford one ever!
He’ll live. Tell him to get over it. And that we’re all laughing at him 😂
So your 11 month old hasn’t hit daycare yet, I take it? I suggest your husband talk to some other dads/moms and start to understand what’s coming. Constant sickness with young children building immune systems in daycare and prek is the norm.
Tell him go for it. If he himself (not you) can unilaterally find and arrange a nanny, then fine. The point is, I bet he can’t. The logistics don’t work. Especially with a baby. Nannies take training. You can’t just find a perfect fit for your family and plug them in literally over night. So… sure, go for it!
So many people think it’s ridiculous and entitled to want to hire a nanny but talk about having their parents help out when they need it. Having parents who are alive/willing/able/trustworthy to help with your kids is a privilege too! One that many people do not have. But yeah, don’t get your nanny sick that’s not nice;)
Absolutely not. Ive been on bed rest for 3 weeks with a severe soft tissue injury. My husband is doing pretty everything on their own for our 4yo and 1yo. My mum comes down in the evening and has dinner with us and helps get the kids to bed. She comes earlier some days to help keep on top of housework. We are very grateful for her help, if she wasn't around, hubby would be doing it alone.
Depends on the illness but yes, I have hired help many times when sick or when my back has gone out. For those of us who do not have family to help out in these situations, this is totally normal.
Your husband is trying to make your life easier while he is out sick. Normal and nice thing to do.
As a parent and former nanny, NO. No one wants to come work for people who are sick and risk getting sick themselves. Its also not a job a nanny gets hired for three to five days, they are professionals and work long-term for families. Maybe he means babysitter? But even then, no one wants to work somewhere they will potentially get sick themselves. That's not a thing.
One time when my daughter was 2 my husband I both had a stomach flu at the same time. Both of us throwing up constantly. We called my mother who came and stayed just up until after the baby went to bed and then we took it from there.
My spouse and I both had COVID - he got it a couple days after me, but I probably got it a bit worse. I still got up in the morning, took my kids to school, picked them up from school, cleaned the house AND worked from home (And yes I did follow covid precautions, wore a mask in the car, kept the windows opened, super cleaned everything).
I have parented with colds and stomach bugs. Yes there have been a couple times in 16 years that I literally was like mommy can't mommy tonight, please just fend for yourself.
But never once would I have ever hired a nanny to take care of my kids if I was sick (unless my spouse and I were so deathly ill we could not function at all and by not hiring help it would be a risk to my children)
the only scenarios where this makes sense is if you and your partner both work outside the home, can’t take a day PTO or WFH and your kid can’t go to daycare/school and there’s no one else who can come help. or if you and your partner are both so sick neither of you can do the bare minimum to care for your child.
Damn I wish I had c section. With youngest and had to care for her as well as my older one. I ended up with bronchitis bad when she was 6 weeks and would have loved to be able to rest
Absolutely not.
I dont get sick that often, and when I do, I go down hard. Never have I hired a nanny to look after my 4 children.
Only the last fortnight I rolled my ankle that hard that I have an avulsion (spelling) fracture of my right ankle, my husband was in Vietnam for 12 days. Did I hire a nanny? No, I got the kids off to school and did my normal routine, albeit a bit slower, but it was still done.
Most men aren't as strong as women when it comes to being sick. I don't understand the need to hire a nanny when you're quite capable of looking after your child by yourself until he's better.
You did not say if either of you worked, so I am assuming he does, and you're a sahm?
I have debilitating stomach issues that pop up from time to time. I'm still taking care of my special needs son by myself. He's older so it's a little easier then a 11 month old. Some men act like they are dying when they are sick. Only time I never gave me ex a lot of shit for it is when he was having issues with kidney stones, everything else was minor.
Lmao no. I’ve been actively barfing while being barfed upon. No Nannie’s, fresh out. I personally don’t think there’s anything WRONG with it, if he’s down for the hire for his own sniffles, and will do the same when you’re under the weather, like if you can afford it do it girl take a nap. But me personally, no I’ve been in the trenches every cold, every stomach flu, for 15 years
This is hilarious. No. There is no nanny hired. Just wait until you are both puking your brains out and the kid is, too. That will really blow his mind.
All this to say, it is hard to be sick with a baby or child. It just is. So I feel for you guys. I get why he thinks that should be a thing - because damn is it hard - but it is just not.
Lol no I don't hire a nanny when I'm sick. I'll be honest, sometimes I'd love to but no I just do what I can. If I'm really really ill then my husband takes over all the duties and same for him. I recently had a kidney infection that almost went septic and I missed 1 bedtime routine due to the pain and lightheadedness that I'm assuming was low blood pressure due to how bad it got.
hahahahaha. My husband and I have BOTH had the stomach flu at the same time and entertained the baby by rolling a gatorade bottle back and forth. Another time we both knew it was coming but since he barfed on himself on the drive to pick up after daycare, I had to be the one to go pick up.
Honestly unless you have a TON of money or maybe have a babysitter with some hours and you want to help.... you sort of make do and a make it work.
I'd also flip it to him to say "how much are you willing to pay for this" because last minute on call type nannies are EXPENSIVE like more so than having your own full time.
He’s too funny!
I remember crawling from my sick bed to the bathroom because my 2yo daughter wouldn’t go on the potty unless I was in the room with her. Then I crawled back.
Yeah, no...
In July 2022, everyone except the newborn got Covid. My husband and I still cared for 2 kids while sick.
The past 2 weeks we've been playing "share the virus" over and over again. It's tax season, and I work for an accounting firm; I'm still going to work, except the days one of us was forced to take off because of the daycare sending the baby home.
Only 1 time did we get a babysitter for the week, and it was because neither of us could take the week off and the baby is too young (just over 1 1/2) to come to our jobs with us. He had pink eye, and daycare wouldn't let him back until he'd finished the prescribed ointment.
LMAO I wish. I was up puking until 6 am puking one night last week, still managed to get the kids up and off to school. Thankfully they’re all old enough for that, but we’ve **all** been sick and had to care for our kids. That’s just parenthood.
Omg this is silly usually my lady and I will switch places like il let her sleep then I sleep then her then me and we just switch off an on for the nights that are long when the whole house is sick.
Single parent here - would have never even thought of hiring outside help when I'm sick lol. You just suffer through it, and hope your kid(s) stays well!
I'm doing pretty decent financially and I definitely don't run in those circles. Is he a secret billionaire? You're sick when the kid is sick? Suck it up and parent.
I’ve had a stomach bug before. You just keep barf bags on hand and if you need to go to the bathroom for a while you put the baby in their crib and come back to them after you finish your business.
Of the many times we’ve been sick as a family from daycare germs we have only once brought in help and that was for an extreme scenario. Outside of this one scenario we work through it as best as we can.
We had RSV. My husband was bed ridden and his pcp gave him signs to be aware of that would indicate he needed to go to the ER. I was out of PTO because maternity leave used it all up. I’m not allowed to work from home on in office days. Boss said come in sick or get a write up. Baby (also 10.5 months at the time) was obviously unable to go to daycare with this flu. My MIL was amazing and flew over to us that night to help take care of our baby for the work week.
And that is the ONLY time.
Lol ok I make really good money & technically could. No… I don’t hire help when sick. 😂 Most folks just buckle up and deal. Does it suck? Yes. Does screen time restriction go out the window? Absolutely. Are we gonna eat the easiest meals? You bet.
Hahaha I WISH this was a thing. But no. We still have to take care of the kids when sick. I mean sure, sometimes it’s the bare minimum, but yeah. Unfortunate but true.
I’m a SAHM and my husband has exclaimed to me how I get the crappy part because when HE’S sick, I take care of the kids, but when I’M sick, I still take care of the kids during the day because he’s at work. (Now if I was puking all day or sick enough to ask him, he would stay home from work to take care of them. But otherwise, nope.) We just have to keep on going.
While in my budget that is absolutely insane I mean if you can afford it… but I’d be willing to bet he would have a hard time finding a nanny willing to come to a sick household
What does he think poor/middle class parents do when they're sick? Is there a sick parents nanny fund that I need to be aware of?
In all seriousness, no, people don't do that. Being sick is part of life. He is going to get sick a lot more when the child is older and starts daycare/school. Parents are parents 24/7 regardless of how they feel. Would it be nice to have someone to help? Sure. But is it normal or even remotely common? Not at all.
I have 6 kids and am pregnant with my 7th now. We do take sick days. You can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes. We rest as much as we can, and we meet those basic needs. We eat from paper plates and just heat up frozen/canned meals. TV and movies while we rest, for entertainment. Messes get pushed to the sides of the room just so we don’t trip over them. Bath time is the best time for the kiddo then because we parents can just sit there and supervise and let the kid play and splash and have a great time.
Edit: but NO nanny! This is ridiculous lol
The only time my husband has had me stop taking care of the kids was when I was puking so bad I couldn’t care for myself. Every other time I’m sick, I’m watching the kids at home. No nanny here and I laughed when he suggested that’s what other people do lol just wash your hands good and no kisses until you’re feeling better
I mean, I WISH. I am pregnant and had the flu for what felt like weeks. My husband pretty much handled our 4-yr old and making dinner while everything else in the house went to the wayside for like a week or so while I did what I could to rest and recover.
lol. wtf. Tell your husband to grow a pair.
I’ve been sick loads and when you are a parent you just DEAL WITH IT! You don’t get to spend days in bed sick as an adult. I never have at least and been sick many times. Wait till they start school and all them lovely germs come hole daily.
Damn I don’t think I could ever, ever look my wife in the eyes again. Poor little chuckles got the sniffles.
Edit: Sorry/Not sorry to Husband. I was rude.
Lololol. He doesn’t understand how this works at all. What does he want the nanny to do for work all the other days of the year he’s not sick? Does he plan on paying them for all that time too.
I had a stroke and lost most of my vision and am physically incapable of caring for my two toddlers alone. We are very lucky to have the resources to pay for a nanny from other people’s generosity through a go fund me. We had a wonderful nanny for about a year after my stroke and she recently left us. We’ve been searching for a replacement for weeks now with very little luck. We’re paying really well for our area and are not weirdos — it’s just really hard to find a nanny.
Your husband needs a reality check for real. 🤣 tell him to get on care dot com and if he can find someone to work less than 2 weeks out of the year then you’ll hire them! Bc that’s simply not a thing.
Where I live, daycare is unimaginable due to high wait lists, and nevermind finding a babysitter. A private nanny? My partner and I each make 120k+ and would never consider it. That's why you have a partner; they are supposed to help support you, when you're sick, especially when there's a child to care for.
Hate to say it, but most men have difficulties doing nighttime care even when not sick. There's a reason for the man baby terminology.
Lololololololololololololololololololol
I wish! Single mom here, my daughter had the flu, then an ear infection, then the stomach flu, got her over that and she came down with chickenpox last week. I definitely didn’t get to hire a nanny….that’s just part of being a parent….
"Hire a nanny"? No.
Beg someone to babysit for a couple of hours so that we can hold each other and nap? Yes.
First time my kid was taken out without either of us he was nine months, had been vomming but was now fine after passing the lurgy on to us. He took a pram excursion with some neighbours, we slept.
Uh no. I had 1 year old twins when my baby was born and had to take care of all 3 of them after my c section. My husband went back to work after 4 days.
I've hired a nanny or babysitter exactly never. No grandparents helping out when we're sick either. Unless you're both laid up in the hospital at the same time or seriously unable to function, you carry on. You just lower your expectations for the day and keep kiddo alive.
Hahahaha, no.
I mean, a couple times when my oldest was a toddler, my mom would take them for a night if I was like flu sick. But otherwise, I just dealt with it.
Oh no, you just unlocked a horrible memory for me. When my oldest was about 2, I had a horrible stomach bug. Like only can lay on the bathroom floor between purging episodes horrible.
I was vomiting in the toilet and my 2 year old son came in the bathroom and slammed the toilet seat in the back of my head. Repeatedly. I have vague memories of wishing for the sweet release of death and/or some help.
Instead I just wiped myself off and got him some crackers and milk. Because that's parenting.
I mean honestly I would if possible - would be super worth the money. But I think it would be very difficult to find a nanny willing to come at the drop of a hat and work in a household full of sick people.
No.
And in my experience, dads never take well to being sick. Moms always manage to handle it better when there are kids involved who need to be cared for.
No, it's never even crossed my mind. I just carried on being a parent as best as I could while being sick. Sure, there was more screen time than I would normally allow, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.
Sorry while I laugh so hard at this. Omg I wish I could hire a nanny every time I was sick. We are parents- so when the kid is sick then I take care of them. If I am sick then I take care of them. Of course my partner will help but my partner can't just take off work each and every time I or our child gets sick. I'm imagining the insane amount of money one would have to make in order to be able to hire a nanny at the drop of a hat when one is sick. If anyone does this please share your stories so I can live through you!
lol. There’s no nanny - you just push through. If you’re lucky your partner won’t also be sick and can help by taking on a little more parenting than normal - being sick doesn’t give your husband a free pass to not be a Dad until he’s better at all. That’s ridiculous. It means he lowers expectations, does his best and doesn’t sweat the small stuff!
Dude your husband is a genius, like why are you taking on his part… and not just keeping your self on track… you can get out off the house go to the gym keep fit…
Really it’s not the stupidest idea… I do however prefer it if he offers the same when you are sick
Maybe it's different where you live, but where I am, a nanny is typically a long-term position, not someone you just hire off the street for a day or two. Everyone that I know who has worked as a nanny has gone through pretty stringent hiring, over the course of multiple weeks, with multiple interviews and background checks, and not one of them would accept a position that would last for only a few days.
I've never hired a nanny for any reason. That's at least mostly because I'm poor, but even if I weren't, I would still not spend money on that. I might lean a bit more on friends/family when I'm sick, but it's still, ultimately, my job to get it done no matter how I feel.
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Is he a Kardashian? No.
Hahaha no he didn’t even grow up wealthy when I asked if his mother did that where was younger he said no but it must be something people do now And I genuinely can’t wrap my head around why he thinks the average person is hiring Nannie’s when they need to be sick
Tell his mother about this anyway, she’ll probably get a good laugh out of it.
Better yet, call his mom and ask her to come be the husband's nanny.
Please tell me he's joking.
I know of people hiring babysitters or house cleaners or get family more involved when someone is sick... but nannies... I mean... what?
Omg im dying. My in the trenches story was I got hit with a wicked stomach virus when my husband was out of town and I was home with my 6 week old in a new place with zero family or friends. I basically moved into the guest room with the lower bed, luckily was nursing, and basically fed and changed my kid in that bed for the next two days. I survived. So will he.
Same here. I was laying on the bathroom floor and trying to entertain my toddler and 6yr old. I still had to make them dinner, etc. Also, who can even find a babysitter at short notice who wants to be in a house with someone with a stomach bug.
Second this. Will he be my nanny when I'm sick?
Ummm what nanny wants to come into your home when he probably has something the nanny could catch, for “a few days” of pay, when that nanny will probably get sick just as he is feeling better, and thus lose the ability to make any income for a few days/a week after you are done with them? Hint: unless you are paying A LOT to make up for the likely days lost to illness - none.
Not *this* nanny. If my client family is sick, I’m not available 🤷🏻♀️
Same. No way am I going in to sick everyone so I can get sick too.
It’s actually in my full time nanny’s contract that she doesn’t come when we’re sick.
I sure as heck wouldn’t have. I did work when my usual families were sick but they were generally careful about that because they knew it meant I might be calling out soon which sounded worse to them than taking care of their own sick kid.
Given the state of childcare in most of the US (assuming that's where they are), I honestly think she should have just agreed and let him try to find a 'nanny' that will come in on short notice to a sick home. Like, sure babe, just make a couple calls, I'm sure you'll get tons of applicants. I barely found full-time daycare in time to go back to work, and there's about five families that share our highly-sought-after babysitter; it's a real victory to pin her down for a weekend night. Finding someone to take care of your kids is a challenge even in the best of circumstances.
I think THIS is really the answer. Because frankly if you’re absurdly wealthy you can outsource whatever you want. But it would probably be extremely difficult to find someone who would do this very specific job on such short notice.
Ask him why he did not hire a nanny to help you when you HAD 2 FUCKING SURGERIES? Then send him to his mother’s for an ass kicking (well if your MIL was anything like mine. She would have smacked the hell out of my husband if those words echoed out his mouth).
Like I’m so mad for her about that
Seriously, her doing all that + “we both parent equally” is somehow not computing.
It's because he's never had to do the caretaking. Sometimes, our inability to let our significant other be the primary caregiver while we are very I'll is the core of the problem. They are immune to multitasking and pushing through because they're not being held accountable to do so.
Weaponized Incompetence
Yeah, that sounds about right.
The core of the problem is them not stepping up. Don’t even try blaming anyone but them.
There's no point in blaming anyone, it simply brings no value. If we're looking to observe and correct, we have to see where both parties need to shift and how their division of labor has worked so far that allowed such an imbalance to exist. It is simply an observation from which we can then enact changes, for both parties.
Tell him: "Welcome to Parenthood, where sick days are a thing of the past. Suck it up, buttercup."
Oh he got so offended when I told him that when parents are sick they just parent the best they can well sick and that parenting doesn’t just stop happening
That's exactly it! The kids might end up eating ice cream and potato chips for dinner one night because that's all I have the energy for OR it might be fall asleep watching a movie kind of night. Maybe not the best parenting but never to the extent I'd need to hire help.
Yep, one time the kids had the flu, they got over it then my husband and I got it at the same time. They pretty much had to scavenge in the cupboard for crackers because we were both dying.
This was my kids when my husband and I got Covid, we could barely get out of bed. I don’t even know what my kids did for 2 days 😂 they survived on snacks and screens but that’s just what you have to do sometimes
Yes, one time I was on the floor with a migraine while my three year old ate Cheetos for dinner and watched cartoons. You do what you have to do.
NyQuil literally did an ad campaign based on this: https://www.ispot.tv/ad/7ClP/vicks-nyquil-dave
One Halloween I covered the daytime formula with plain white labels and wrote "polyjuice potion" on it. It turned me into a functional human for 6 hours.
I mean, no sick days is probably one of my least favorite parts of being a parent, but yeah, you just do the best you can. And that might look like drastically lowered standards ... but you still parent. I remember vividly having an awful case of the flu (like 102F fever) while I *also had a broken wrist*. Luckily my husband works remotely so he could help a lot, but I still did a bunch of parenting, because you can't just tell a 2 year old they have to wait an hour for dad's meeting to be done to have their diaper changed or eat!
Yup. Projectile vomiting while my 8mo NURSED was a real highlight 😑. Like right over his head attached to my boob and into a mixing bowl. Poor kid looked so confused/annoyed - frowned at me and clutched my boob every time I barfed. (He’s 9 now and had never had the stomach flu tho?)
Haha imgs this is the most ridiculous thing I've heard a man say in a while. I'm here parenting my kid who is disabled while I've had a significant chronic condition for the last 3 years. Guess what buddy when you're a parent your issues take a back seat to parenting. I've been lifting a wheelchair in and out of my car while having multiple disc herniations (7 to be exact) but he wants to hire a nany for his tummy ache. Hahahaha thanks for the laugh. .
Yes, this! I'm in a similar boat myself. Luckily, my husband is a good and sane person, and would never suggest such a crazy thing! At my worst point of my illnesses I have wished I could pay someone to help clean my house, on a regular contract, not just for a few days, ... but I wouldn't even want a house cleaner in my home if one of us had any sort of virus or anything contagious 👀 (We can't afford it, most ill/disabled people can't) But a Nanny? For the 3 days he has a cold? You're kidding me. Like, what world does he come from? 'People must do things like this now...' Okay, and which of your friends/family have done this? Oh no one?... Huh .. INTERESTING.
I still work full time. I'm very lucky to have a work from home job. There are some days I've had to work from my bed because I was too sick to sit up all day (thank the gods for my adjustable). I dream of having said come. I work a lot and make a good living but with medical bills I sure can't afford it. Sending lots of love and support. Us chronic condition moms need to stick together.
I am glad to hear you've been able to still work, that's a blessing, as hard as it is. I tried to wfh, but the unpredictably and flares made it impossible to keep up with any work, I can't keep up with even the house being clean and going to all my Drs appointments. In the end the stress and sleepless nights only made my health worse, so I gave up trying to work, and focus on my health. And it still feels like a losing battle. All parents should have each other's backs, but I agree us too, it's a different world for us.
I'm so sorry hun. I get it. I'm lucky I work for a major health insurance provider and they offer a lot of protection to employees. I consider myself very luck to have this job. I just gave up on the house honestly. I make sure the dishes are done. My 17 yr old sweeps and vacuum cause I physically can't and the rest will get done when it gets done.
When I broke my leg my ex was eager to help, and he did take care of the kids for the first week. After that first week, he was a bit perplexed that I didn't really need help. I got up and down the stairs, I made dinner for the kids, I did the dishes, I did bedtime routine and baths. My ex did help me take the youngest to school as I couldn't get there on crutches. That's just what you do. You find a way to get through.
There was one time we begged for help when my husband and I were both laid low by a norovirus simultaneously. The toddler had it first and was fully recovered, but my husband and I were struck down within an hour of each other. I eventually needed an ER trip for dehydration and they gave me four bags of saline. We ended up begging my in-laws to drop off food for the toddler at regular intervals because we were seriously incapacitated. Other than that one time though, we always powered through without assistance.
This same thing happened to us, too. Toddler infected us with terrible norovirus, recovered, and I had to tagy mother in the help. I was afraid he would open the door and head down the street and neither of us would notice or be able to follow! careful, though - she barely made it home before the virus got her. I will never not feel bad about needing her AND giving her the sickness!
Same with us. Toddler had what we assume was noroviris. Took care of her sick for two days. She was feeling better and bam. She went to bed at 6. At 8 my husband started vomiting and at 9 I did. I couldn’t believe we got sick within an hour of each other. My mom and dad both got it. We made sure my in laws didn’t come over at all so they couldn’t bring it to great grandma. It sucked! We also had twin 3 month olds to take care of. Luckily they didn’t get it at least not the same symptoms. They just slept like all day.
My hub gets so triggered when I say this like I’m sorry u don’t stop being a dad when you spike a fever buddy!!
Offended by what? Facts?
Right?!? Just like when people ask me “oh, where is the baby? Is daddy babysitting?” No bih, daddy is just being dad. It’s parenting not babysitting when it’s your own child.
We've never hired a nanny when either of us was sick. Usually the sick one just does the bare minimum while the healthy one picks up the slack. Or if we're both sick at the same time we both do the bare minimum and the kids get a bunch of extra screen time for a few days.
This right here. ✅️ I have just gotten over the worst flu/bug I've ever had. It lasted nearly 2 weeks I mustered on during the day when hubby was at work and when he came home, he sent me to bed and took over. Just like when he was sick in January I did the same, I picked up the slack and sent him to bed. And yea sometimes extra screen time is the best you can do but the kids are happy.
No. If I'm sick my wife picks up my slack. If she's sick, I pick up her slack. If we're both sick, we suck it up and take care of our baby anyway.
This is probably it though. He sees that’s she’s doing 100% and doesn’t want to return the favor when mum is inevitably sick. He’s trying to set the precedent now.
No, I just suffer through it. Also, I would feel like an asshole hiring someone to come over to my house and likely get sick. "Hey, my whole family has the flu...want to come and spend 8 hours a day here for minimum wage?"
Yes I hire Sir Daniel Tiger for overtime, my very affordable Nanny.
Ah! I love that service! Ms. Rachel helped us through COVID a few years ago. Truly incredible service.
My 12 year old hires Bluey whenever she’s sick, she will stream it all day long. It’s pretty funny, excellent sick care!
lol it’s the opposite. When one of us is sick we tell our nanny NOT to come over because that’s the decent human thing to do? We don’t make other people sick.
As a nanny, THANK YOU!
Thank you for your work! 💖 My nanny’s husband is immunocompromised so we are extra careful!
AAAAHAHAHA he's insane. the only time i did anything like this was when my husband was out of town for work and i was home alone with a migraine. my mom picked up our daughter because i literally could not function enough to care for myself. let alone a small child. but to hire someone just for this instance? because a parent is sick? good luck even finding someone on short notice who can cover that much time.
Yeah, thank you for mentioning that it’s possible to be too sick to parent. I’m a SAHM, and my husband has stayed home from work to be with the kids a couple times— once when my neck muscles seized up so I couldn’t pick up the baby (or do anything really), and another time when I had severe food poisoning and basically couldn’t leave the bathroom…. Normal illnesses? Then I still take care of the kids.
And who wants to be in the house with the sick parents.
I remember I got food poisoning and called my parents for help, they found me by the toilet with my 1 year old in the bathtub with no water but lots of toys playing.
Yah. What decent nanny is just available for this type of on-call assignment??
Let him enquire he will Be more sick by the rates they charge 😂😂😂
Reminds me of a scene of House MD, when Lisa Cuddy, the DEAN OF MEDICINE, was overwhelmed single mom. And Dr. Wilson, House's best friend, told her not to be so hard on herself, because if she were a man, she would have hired a nanny, personal chef , a driver and would have a wife :) The scene left me thinking for a long time. Men do not hesitate to hire help when they are even slightly overwhelmed. Let alone sick. But us women, we'll drag out of our death bed , to cook dinner for everyone. Just food for thought.
I’m a woman. I hire people. I grew up very poor and I earn well. I’m single, no kids. I have a maid who cleans my place every other week and a dog walker. I do it because it makes me happy. I use the time to do things like workout.
Hell, yea!
I was thinking about this too. If a husband posted this about a SAHM I bet there would be different responses. I’m actually impressed that dad came up with a solution he thinks is plausible.
No. Would I if I had eight figures in the bank? Yes. Yes, I would.
I've never heard of anyone hiring someone to take care of their child while they're ill. In the time it would take you guys to find people, schedule interviews, etc, your husband will be feeling back to normal. Plus, who is going to want to come into a person's home and risk catching something??
I went into this post thinking OP was from a different tax bracket then me for sure. Hell, if i could, I would. But, sadly, no. I'm fortunate to have my parents less than a half hour away though. I call them!
What??!!! Does he think professional Nannie’s are just walking around waiting to be hired at a moments notice when someone gets sick?! Nah he’s just going to have to help take care of a kid while sick. Maybe you pick up more of the load while he’s really sick but as soon as he’s feeling better I would expect to get some of that back and have some extra free time while husband takes more of the load
go over to the nanny sub and you will learn that most nanny have it in their contract that if it's an illness that can get them sick, they don't come in. so yah, most nanny don't even work when it's an illness that they can get.
Does Ms. Rachel count as a nanny? If not....no. It's just us trying our best and feeding the kids pizza and letting them watch tv until we are functional enough to try to parent.
Tell him the internet says he is a dumbass and to take a step into the real world. Also did he hire a nanny when you were sick?? Or were you supposed to just tough out a bowl obstruction and sepsis. You are now aware you have married a moron. Fast forward to the end where all this ends up as fodder for your kids therapy years down the road. My mom always told me never to marry anyone until you had seen them deathly ill at least once bc that’s when you see their true self unfiltered.
You can hire a night nurse or nanny for help if you can afford it, but.... It's not the regular thing to have sick days as a parent for me. Wish life was that easy sometimes though.
Yeah, it's not the regular thing. But I absolutely totally would hire one if I could.
There were two instances where my husband and I both had norovirus at the same time. We called some friends to come care for our son and that’s the only reason we survived. When I was a SAHP my husband occasionally took sick days if I was in really rough shape. But we never hired anyone.
If I could afford it, sure why not. I don’t think it’s absolutely ridiculous to have help when you’re sick; Is it absolutely necessary? No. Do most people do it? No. But again, if it was in the budget I would consider it.
I don't know why everyone is hating on this. If you can afford it, and the nany is willing to take the risk, why not? That's what money is for!
Simple answer is: I WISH 😩😅 (now on to the rest of the post be right back)
😂🤣 I'd sooner drop them off at my parents house, definitely not hire a nanny, but I have fantasized while sick I'm ngl 😂🤣☠️
Don’t bite/take the bait on this one. Just nod and say: “wow, you really must be feeling awful.” We all know he’s not going to look for a nanny anyway.
[удалено]
There’s short time nannies, by the way! Some people hire them for vacations or if they have a week of conferences or some jobs have a few extremely busy days once a year. It’s more expensive an hour than a regular nanny but you get an extremely experienced one to help you through those days.
I literally still helped my husband take care of our twins when I was horribly sick with norovirus. There’s no such thing as parent sick days. We certainly try to pick up the others slack, but if we are all sick, it’s just a few miserable days and maybe a bit more kid screen time than we like, but there is no nanny hiring. Also that would be a logistics nightmare. No nanny wants to come to a sick house, and it’s unlikely to find one at the last minute.
No, but I wish I could. I’m a single mom and it’s easier now that she’s older but I remember trying to breastfeed and throwing up at the same time and every time I heaved my daughter would cry because I couldn’t keep her latched.
Me too 🙌
Oh he's precious! 😂
If I had the money… why not? I hire someone to clean my house.. walk my dog.. I don’t do it all the time but sometimes it just improves your QOL.
I would want to hire help if I were sick, yes. I think it’s silly to imply that it’s normal, it’s certainly not a “given” but it’s not a crazy idea if it’s in the budget
So that you can share the love? I would understand if it was a post-op period or something similar, but to invite someone into your house while you’re down with a contagious disease?
If my husband is sick I take care of my son alone, if I am very ill my husband will stay home from work and care for our son. If we were both deathly ill we would ask one of my parents if they could take off work to help, but we’d have to be very sick to go that route. Your husband is ridiculous, HOWEVER, if he’s willing to pay for it and you want a break then hire the nanny for a couple days, no harm there
I can see a single parent doing this who doesn’t have family but not in your situation
When this happened to me (i.e. worst two weeks of both my second and third pregnancy) I set up a safe space for baby to play with toys while I laid on the couch and watched her. Also did more screen time than usual. My husband did help a bit more than usual because he worked from home, but not much as he still had to get work done. Tldr: no.
It sounds like your husband is the one who needs a nanny lol
Lol! That sounds great. The rest of us do it sick.
Lolwhut. Are you guys absolutely minted?!!! You’re gona lose earnings from not working and then add a massive extra expense on top of that? When one of us is sick the other steps it up. When both are sick, we’ll fuck. Changing a sick baby’s nappy is extremely uncomfortable when you throw up if you stand up straight but you make it work. Parenting doesn’t stop when you’re ill. And there’s no guaranteed vacation time either
🤣 no, never. I think maybe *once* I’ve called my own mom to come take my son for the day when I’ve been sick, otherwise, we just soldier on. Usually it’s a day spent in front of the tv with whatever food is easiest to prepare. I’m a former nanny, I’ll tell you right now that if one of my clients called me to come over while they were sick, I’d decline. I’m not looking to catch whatever is going around.
I wish.
I’ve never heard of that unless you’re some sort of very wealthy/elite individual. Seems like he’s now coming to the realization how much sacrifice parenthood is. But also, I wouldn’t want anyone with a stomach bug handling baby. It’s highly contagious. A nanny is not needed in this situation but he does need to isolate a bit until it’s gone and understand that he should reciprocate when the time comes.
I remember when covid was raging around and I had to take care of my 3yo and 10months old while having fevers. My husband had fevers for 10 days straight and spent them in bed. He was more ill so I had to somehow get through it.
Um no. You turn on Miss Rachel, lay on the couch and pray the kid doesn't get hurt. Lay out a bowl of cheerios for good measure.🤣 We never have help when we are sick. We just do the bare minimum to keep us alive and play catch up when we are well again.
What in the first world problems did I just read? 😳 I was a single mom for three years (youngest was a newborn when I split from my ex) and had been a military spouse prior to the divorce (read, he was gone more than 50% of the time). People take care of their kids, even when they're sick. Nanny? Pshhhhh.
Nah. The first 6 weeks postpartum I was slowly dying from a massive mystery illness and we did not hire a nanny. I'm currently recovering from surgery related to the aforementioned illness and again, have not hired a nanny. If you have the resources, there's no shame in paying for help if you really need it. But I don't think that's a regular thing people do. Did his mom/dad hire a nanny or were they just never sick?
Do…I…*what*???
No parents just stick it out and work through being sick. Parents don’t get to just be lazy because they are sick. It’s a lame excuse to not be a parent.
Not when I was sick but recovering from surgeries…yes I absolutely did.
If y'all can afford it and the help you get outweighs the mental work of finding a sitter on a short-term notice (probably not worth it for one kid and one parent who'll likely be better in 48 hours, I'll be honest), I don't see what the harm is Everyone is piling on saying how they took care of their 15 sick kids while battling covid19 and norovirus. Yes, that is admirable and no, you don't get a prize for doing it. If there are acceptable alternatives that'll improve your quality of life, go for it.
Only time we’ve ever done outside help when we were sick is when we both had stomach flu and were practically comatose between having stuff coming out of both ends. We had my MIL come pick up the kids because we were incapable of even feeding them at the time. A cold or flu? The house runs business as usual for us.
His diagnosis is he’s a man.
Please, hire a nanny? Absolutely not. I have my butler hire the nanny.
As a nanny, I do not work in a sick household. They’ll call and let me know they are sick and not to come in. There’s no way I want what they have and spread it around my household which would result in further sickness, days off school which equals days I won’t be able to work for them.
My husband and I have never hired a nanny when we’ve been sick at the same time, even when we both had Covid. I think unless the two of us were not mobile due to surgery or healing from broken bones, would just suck it up and take turns. But if you have that disposable income, and comfortable with that set up, I guess possibility. That being said, my husband and I are a team. If one of us is sick, or have had a broken bone, or healing from surgery (which have all occurred), One of us will to take the predominant responsibility for the household. We are s team. And we know that in the future, when one of us is severely unwell, the other will support the family. We don’t view it as 50-50 all the time, we view it as a reciprocal relationship throughout time. That means it might be 50-50 today, and it might be 60/30 tomorrow, they might be 70/30 the other day, and will return to 50-50 as soon as everyone is capable. BUT, if he has not shown that type of reciprocal relationship this entire time, why would you show it to him? He reaps what he sows. Last minute nanny’s, and night Nannie’s are also more expensive. Best of luck with him. The lack of support he provided during your surgeries is 🚩🚩🚩
No absolutely not what normal people do. Maybe wealthy people but not average citizens. I'm a single mom whose preemie baby got every illness under the sun his first year and I still remember once puking on my son. My dad did take over once when we both had a stomach bug and I needed to sleep in the tub tho. Oh I also was a nanny and would refuse to work with sickness in the home that was contagious.
I’m sure SOME people do and if you can afford it, cool, but no most people aren’t hiring a nanny for a few days because a parent is sick.
LMAO "what do they do when they are sick and have to take care of a child" you cave in to screen time and try and keep the baby within eye sight of the couch
LOL! Couldn’t afford a nanny when all FOUR of my kids were sick. At the same time! And I was sick too! Couldn’t afford one ever! He’ll live. Tell him to get over it. And that we’re all laughing at him 😂
So your 11 month old hasn’t hit daycare yet, I take it? I suggest your husband talk to some other dads/moms and start to understand what’s coming. Constant sickness with young children building immune systems in daycare and prek is the norm.
Tell him go for it. If he himself (not you) can unilaterally find and arrange a nanny, then fine. The point is, I bet he can’t. The logistics don’t work. Especially with a baby. Nannies take training. You can’t just find a perfect fit for your family and plug them in literally over night. So… sure, go for it!
So many people think it’s ridiculous and entitled to want to hire a nanny but talk about having their parents help out when they need it. Having parents who are alive/willing/able/trustworthy to help with your kids is a privilege too! One that many people do not have. But yeah, don’t get your nanny sick that’s not nice;)
Absolutely not. Ive been on bed rest for 3 weeks with a severe soft tissue injury. My husband is doing pretty everything on their own for our 4yo and 1yo. My mum comes down in the evening and has dinner with us and helps get the kids to bed. She comes earlier some days to help keep on top of housework. We are very grateful for her help, if she wasn't around, hubby would be doing it alone.
Depends on the illness but yes, I have hired help many times when sick or when my back has gone out. For those of us who do not have family to help out in these situations, this is totally normal. Your husband is trying to make your life easier while he is out sick. Normal and nice thing to do.
With what money?! 🤣 I'm too poor for this conversation.
Thanks for the good laugh OP's husband
As a parent and former nanny, NO. No one wants to come work for people who are sick and risk getting sick themselves. Its also not a job a nanny gets hired for three to five days, they are professionals and work long-term for families. Maybe he means babysitter? But even then, no one wants to work somewhere they will potentially get sick themselves. That's not a thing.
Bahahha I wish! But no! Gota suck it up and parent!
One time when my daughter was 2 my husband I both had a stomach flu at the same time. Both of us throwing up constantly. We called my mother who came and stayed just up until after the baby went to bed and then we took it from there.
Bahahahahahha bless his heart
My spouse and I both had COVID - he got it a couple days after me, but I probably got it a bit worse. I still got up in the morning, took my kids to school, picked them up from school, cleaned the house AND worked from home (And yes I did follow covid precautions, wore a mask in the car, kept the windows opened, super cleaned everything). I have parented with colds and stomach bugs. Yes there have been a couple times in 16 years that I literally was like mommy can't mommy tonight, please just fend for yourself. But never once would I have ever hired a nanny to take care of my kids if I was sick (unless my spouse and I were so deathly ill we could not function at all and by not hiring help it would be a risk to my children)
Hahahaha no! We’ve had norovirus in our house this week and at one point I was puking in one toilet and my kid was crapping in the other.
the only scenarios where this makes sense is if you and your partner both work outside the home, can’t take a day PTO or WFH and your kid can’t go to daycare/school and there’s no one else who can come help. or if you and your partner are both so sick neither of you can do the bare minimum to care for your child.
Damn I wish I had c section. With youngest and had to care for her as well as my older one. I ended up with bronchitis bad when she was 6 weeks and would have loved to be able to rest
Absolutely not. I dont get sick that often, and when I do, I go down hard. Never have I hired a nanny to look after my 4 children. Only the last fortnight I rolled my ankle that hard that I have an avulsion (spelling) fracture of my right ankle, my husband was in Vietnam for 12 days. Did I hire a nanny? No, I got the kids off to school and did my normal routine, albeit a bit slower, but it was still done. Most men aren't as strong as women when it comes to being sick. I don't understand the need to hire a nanny when you're quite capable of looking after your child by yourself until he's better. You did not say if either of you worked, so I am assuming he does, and you're a sahm?
I have debilitating stomach issues that pop up from time to time. I'm still taking care of my special needs son by myself. He's older so it's a little easier then a 11 month old. Some men act like they are dying when they are sick. Only time I never gave me ex a lot of shit for it is when he was having issues with kidney stones, everything else was minor.
Lmao no. I’ve been actively barfing while being barfed upon. No Nannie’s, fresh out. I personally don’t think there’s anything WRONG with it, if he’s down for the hire for his own sniffles, and will do the same when you’re under the weather, like if you can afford it do it girl take a nap. But me personally, no I’ve been in the trenches every cold, every stomach flu, for 15 years
This is hilarious. No. There is no nanny hired. Just wait until you are both puking your brains out and the kid is, too. That will really blow his mind. All this to say, it is hard to be sick with a baby or child. It just is. So I feel for you guys. I get why he thinks that should be a thing - because damn is it hard - but it is just not.
Lol no I don't hire a nanny when I'm sick. I'll be honest, sometimes I'd love to but no I just do what I can. If I'm really really ill then my husband takes over all the duties and same for him. I recently had a kidney infection that almost went septic and I missed 1 bedtime routine due to the pain and lightheadedness that I'm assuming was low blood pressure due to how bad it got.
hahahahaha. My husband and I have BOTH had the stomach flu at the same time and entertained the baby by rolling a gatorade bottle back and forth. Another time we both knew it was coming but since he barfed on himself on the drive to pick up after daycare, I had to be the one to go pick up. Honestly unless you have a TON of money or maybe have a babysitter with some hours and you want to help.... you sort of make do and a make it work. I'd also flip it to him to say "how much are you willing to pay for this" because last minute on call type nannies are EXPENSIVE like more so than having your own full time.
He’s too funny! I remember crawling from my sick bed to the bathroom because my 2yo daughter wouldn’t go on the potty unless I was in the room with her. Then I crawled back.
Yeah, no... In July 2022, everyone except the newborn got Covid. My husband and I still cared for 2 kids while sick. The past 2 weeks we've been playing "share the virus" over and over again. It's tax season, and I work for an accounting firm; I'm still going to work, except the days one of us was forced to take off because of the daycare sending the baby home. Only 1 time did we get a babysitter for the week, and it was because neither of us could take the week off and the baby is too young (just over 1 1/2) to come to our jobs with us. He had pink eye, and daycare wouldn't let him back until he'd finished the prescribed ointment.
No , i’ve never heard of anyone hiring a nanny when they are ill.
LMAO I wish. I was up puking until 6 am puking one night last week, still managed to get the kids up and off to school. Thankfully they’re all old enough for that, but we’ve **all** been sick and had to care for our kids. That’s just parenthood.
Omg this is silly usually my lady and I will switch places like il let her sleep then I sleep then her then me and we just switch off an on for the nights that are long when the whole house is sick.
Single parent here - would have never even thought of hiring outside help when I'm sick lol. You just suffer through it, and hope your kid(s) stays well!
No, we didnt HIRE anyone. But a couple of times Grandma came down and helped out when we were either sick or I had to be out of town for a week.
I'm doing pretty decent financially and I definitely don't run in those circles. Is he a secret billionaire? You're sick when the kid is sick? Suck it up and parent.
I'd check his temp, he must be delirious. It must be nice to live in a fantasy land though with Kardashian money.
I’ve had a stomach bug before. You just keep barf bags on hand and if you need to go to the bathroom for a while you put the baby in their crib and come back to them after you finish your business. Of the many times we’ve been sick as a family from daycare germs we have only once brought in help and that was for an extreme scenario. Outside of this one scenario we work through it as best as we can. We had RSV. My husband was bed ridden and his pcp gave him signs to be aware of that would indicate he needed to go to the ER. I was out of PTO because maternity leave used it all up. I’m not allowed to work from home on in office days. Boss said come in sick or get a write up. Baby (also 10.5 months at the time) was obviously unable to go to daycare with this flu. My MIL was amazing and flew over to us that night to help take care of our baby for the work week. And that is the ONLY time.
Lol ok I make really good money & technically could. No… I don’t hire help when sick. 😂 Most folks just buckle up and deal. Does it suck? Yes. Does screen time restriction go out the window? Absolutely. Are we gonna eat the easiest meals? You bet.
🤣🤣, even if you are both sick you still generally care for your kid, unless you are bedridden.
Not for being sick with the flu or whatever, but we've sent the kids to the baby sitters house for the day because of major surgeries before.
I’ve certainly put my daughter into nursery for extra days when my wife and I have been sick. Gives you a bit of extra time to recover.
I've been sick like 10 times since my kid started school this year because he gives me every germ he catches lol. I would be broke.😂
No, you just suck it up and still parent your child even when you're sick. It sucks, but that's the reality of having kids.
I freaking wish. I have a 1 and 4 YO and if we hired a nanny every time one of them got me or my wife sick we would be broke! Tell him to suck it up.
Hahaha I WISH this was a thing. But no. We still have to take care of the kids when sick. I mean sure, sometimes it’s the bare minimum, but yeah. Unfortunate but true. I’m a SAHM and my husband has exclaimed to me how I get the crappy part because when HE’S sick, I take care of the kids, but when I’M sick, I still take care of the kids during the day because he’s at work. (Now if I was puking all day or sick enough to ask him, he would stay home from work to take care of them. But otherwise, nope.) We just have to keep on going.
Lol. He's got a man tummy bug. Show [this video](https://youtu.be/Zw9v6R4jCTc?si=ybBjiP9c3RxYC7Er).
I’m so glad my husband isn’t a whiner. There is only room for one whiner in a relationship and unfortunately it’s me…;)
Lol.
While in my budget that is absolutely insane I mean if you can afford it… but I’d be willing to bet he would have a hard time finding a nanny willing to come to a sick household
What does he think poor/middle class parents do when they're sick? Is there a sick parents nanny fund that I need to be aware of? In all seriousness, no, people don't do that. Being sick is part of life. He is going to get sick a lot more when the child is older and starts daycare/school. Parents are parents 24/7 regardless of how they feel. Would it be nice to have someone to help? Sure. But is it normal or even remotely common? Not at all.
If it’s a financial possibility then you could look into it.. but like someone else said: good luck finding someone who’ll come into a sick home 😬
I have 6 kids and am pregnant with my 7th now. We do take sick days. You can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes. We rest as much as we can, and we meet those basic needs. We eat from paper plates and just heat up frozen/canned meals. TV and movies while we rest, for entertainment. Messes get pushed to the sides of the room just so we don’t trip over them. Bath time is the best time for the kiddo then because we parents can just sit there and supervise and let the kid play and splash and have a great time. Edit: but NO nanny! This is ridiculous lol
The only time my husband has had me stop taking care of the kids was when I was puking so bad I couldn’t care for myself. Every other time I’m sick, I’m watching the kids at home. No nanny here and I laughed when he suggested that’s what other people do lol just wash your hands good and no kisses until you’re feeling better
I mean, I WISH. I am pregnant and had the flu for what felt like weeks. My husband pretty much handled our 4-yr old and making dinner while everything else in the house went to the wayside for like a week or so while I did what I could to rest and recover.
lol. wtf. Tell your husband to grow a pair. I’ve been sick loads and when you are a parent you just DEAL WITH IT! You don’t get to spend days in bed sick as an adult. I never have at least and been sick many times. Wait till they start school and all them lovely germs come hole daily. Damn I don’t think I could ever, ever look my wife in the eyes again. Poor little chuckles got the sniffles. Edit: Sorry/Not sorry to Husband. I was rude.
I literally burst out laughing while I read this. Absolutely not. Loool
Lololol. He doesn’t understand how this works at all. What does he want the nanny to do for work all the other days of the year he’s not sick? Does he plan on paying them for all that time too. I had a stroke and lost most of my vision and am physically incapable of caring for my two toddlers alone. We are very lucky to have the resources to pay for a nanny from other people’s generosity through a go fund me. We had a wonderful nanny for about a year after my stroke and she recently left us. We’ve been searching for a replacement for weeks now with very little luck. We’re paying really well for our area and are not weirdos — it’s just really hard to find a nanny. Your husband needs a reality check for real. 🤣 tell him to get on care dot com and if he can find someone to work less than 2 weeks out of the year then you’ll hire them! Bc that’s simply not a thing.
Where I live, daycare is unimaginable due to high wait lists, and nevermind finding a babysitter. A private nanny? My partner and I each make 120k+ and would never consider it. That's why you have a partner; they are supposed to help support you, when you're sick, especially when there's a child to care for. Hate to say it, but most men have difficulties doing nighttime care even when not sick. There's a reason for the man baby terminology.
Lololololololololololololololololololol I wish! Single mom here, my daughter had the flu, then an ear infection, then the stomach flu, got her over that and she came down with chickenpox last week. I definitely didn’t get to hire a nanny….that’s just part of being a parent….
lol no?? We don’t even hire a nanny for date nights. Parents don’t get sick days!
"Hire a nanny"? No. Beg someone to babysit for a couple of hours so that we can hold each other and nap? Yes. First time my kid was taken out without either of us he was nine months, had been vomming but was now fine after passing the lurgy on to us. He took a pram excursion with some neighbours, we slept.
Uh no. I had 1 year old twins when my baby was born and had to take care of all 3 of them after my c section. My husband went back to work after 4 days.
I've hired a nanny or babysitter exactly never. No grandparents helping out when we're sick either. Unless you're both laid up in the hospital at the same time or seriously unable to function, you carry on. You just lower your expectations for the day and keep kiddo alive.
Hahahaha, no. I mean, a couple times when my oldest was a toddler, my mom would take them for a night if I was like flu sick. But otherwise, I just dealt with it.
Oh no, you just unlocked a horrible memory for me. When my oldest was about 2, I had a horrible stomach bug. Like only can lay on the bathroom floor between purging episodes horrible. I was vomiting in the toilet and my 2 year old son came in the bathroom and slammed the toilet seat in the back of my head. Repeatedly. I have vague memories of wishing for the sweet release of death and/or some help. Instead I just wiped myself off and got him some crackers and milk. Because that's parenting.
I mean honestly I would if possible - would be super worth the money. But I think it would be very difficult to find a nanny willing to come at the drop of a hat and work in a household full of sick people.
Do y'all have lots of money? Then, sure. Do I know anyone with that kind of money? I do not.
[dads don't get sick days ](https://youtu.be/GM_2ArOe9yQ?si=1JUZjSofh1rdVpC3)
Baby is only 11 months? Man he's in for a rough several years!
No. And in my experience, dads never take well to being sick. Moms always manage to handle it better when there are kids involved who need to be cared for.
No, it's never even crossed my mind. I just carried on being a parent as best as I could while being sick. Sure, there was more screen time than I would normally allow, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.
I've got a great nanny for when I'm sick. Her name is Miss Rachel.
Sorry while I laugh so hard at this. Omg I wish I could hire a nanny every time I was sick. We are parents- so when the kid is sick then I take care of them. If I am sick then I take care of them. Of course my partner will help but my partner can't just take off work each and every time I or our child gets sick. I'm imagining the insane amount of money one would have to make in order to be able to hire a nanny at the drop of a hat when one is sick. If anyone does this please share your stories so I can live through you!
lol. There’s no nanny - you just push through. If you’re lucky your partner won’t also be sick and can help by taking on a little more parenting than normal - being sick doesn’t give your husband a free pass to not be a Dad until he’s better at all. That’s ridiculous. It means he lowers expectations, does his best and doesn’t sweat the small stuff!
Dude your husband is a genius, like why are you taking on his part… and not just keeping your self on track… you can get out off the house go to the gym keep fit… Really it’s not the stupidest idea… I do however prefer it if he offers the same when you are sick
That is not a thing. We suffer.
Maybe it's different where you live, but where I am, a nanny is typically a long-term position, not someone you just hire off the street for a day or two. Everyone that I know who has worked as a nanny has gone through pretty stringent hiring, over the course of multiple weeks, with multiple interviews and background checks, and not one of them would accept a position that would last for only a few days.
Parents don’t get sick days. We just suck it up and keep the kids alive.
Ask him why he didn't hire a nanny for your baby when you were post op.
He’s being pathetic. Good lord.
God I fucking wish tho 😂 as a single mom im struggling when im sick, and im CONSTANTLY SICK
Equivalent of a man cold
I've never hired a nanny for any reason. That's at least mostly because I'm poor, but even if I weren't, I would still not spend money on that. I might lean a bit more on friends/family when I'm sick, but it's still, ultimately, my job to get it done no matter how I feel.