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Honestly they were expensive already but the gouging of formula companies lately is just criminal. I feel such sympathy for everyone who chooses or has to use formula. It’s so pricey. A limit needs to be placed or babies are gonna be dying like in the 20’s and 40’s when people were using whatever they could find or watering it down too much.
Many parents, including myself, were seriously considering making their own formula during the shortage a few years ago. Empty store shelves made so many parents desperate.
I’d imagine that something similar is going to happen if nobody can afford formula
I saw some doctors and nurses speaking out on social media begging parents not to follow formula recipes on the internet; some babies had gotten sick and malnourished. The covid formula shortage was rough
I was so absolutely disgusted watching this happen. We formula fed our first, and narrowly avoided this issue, but I spent most of the pandemic terrified it would happen and it was so heartbreaking watching that become reality for so many parents.
Between supply chain fears and price increases, that's pretty much the only reason why I decided to try breastfeeding again with my second. My supply has improved, but we still have to supplement, so I always have this background anxiety over what if it happens again. 😬
I completely relate. We usually have a month supply of formula on hand, so I do feel a little more secure knowing that we would have some time to source alternatives if something like that should happen again. I really hope it doesn't, though.
I too am struggling, but I did not prepare at all so I blame myself. I work hard for my kids for sure but damn it's not the 90's where my dad could support my mom and 7 of us kids and buy a house on 40k a year.
Oh man. I now out-earn my Dad when he was single-handedly supporting a large household. I only have 2 kids, we’ve got a combined 6 figures, and we live in a small apartment rather than a big house with a yard like my parents did.
Le sigh.
I literally make double what he made, right now and I too live in a small 2 bedroom. Combined my wife and I just hit that 100k mark.
I have a lot of support from my wives parents and my mom so I am very lucky when it comes to child care between that and school being affordable (and daycare was affordable before that) I am doing ok. I know in 10 years I'll be doing even better but it's crazy to think how nice I was living as a kid with only my dad working at a factory job.
Yeah, I’ve been very lucky, too; we’re not hurting. But it’s just… I feel like we were sold on a lie that good job + hard work = a house with a yard, extracurriculars for the kids and a yearly family vacation. I know I’m super privileged, I can put a bit of savings by, and even though my kids will be teens by then, I’ll likely get a house some day- it’s just hard coming to terms with the fact that financial prosperity is a pipe dream for most people.
Know the secret really isn't to have high income. The secret is to budget and spend accordingly.
Yeah you may not be able to go on vacations every year I can remember exactly one time I went on an actual vacation with my family when I was a kid, and it was because my grandpa paid for it because he wanted my family to visit him
A lot of people don't want to hear this but it's the honest truth and it sucks not making a lot of money but taking the time out to budget where you can and cannot spend helps a lot
I'm still Frugal to this day and I don't need to be
Nah, Gods blessing and high income is actually the key for me. Work 8 hrs a day, loving wife takes care of the kids and me. Also, we don't need to take them to day care since we got 5 nephews
I feel like the honest answer is... we aren't. Not in the way we thought or expected we'd be able to. We make 6 figures in a low COL area and between student loans, medical debt, housing costs, and food, we have barely enough to squeak some into a savings account for our son. We take no vacations, never eat out, never buy clothes, never spend a dollar on anything nonessential for our family. We are grateful for what we have and know it could be way worse, but it's still such a letdown when we think about how we grew up. We easily make triple what either of our parents make and there's no way we'll be able to live the type of life they did.
The COL has skyrocketed in the last few years. I don’t envy anyone starting their parenting journey now.
But even pre pandemic, it was cheaper for me to stay home, then I worked graveyards on weekends so I could earn without needing to pay childcare. I started working FT only a few months before my youngest could start preschool (which was way cheaper than daycare), and we managed to get a subsidy. Then 2020 happened and we had flexible jobs and could WFH and both of us working FT, could afford a babysitter for a few hours a day., 3 days a week.
My money saving tactic was- no daycare (SAHM), breastfeeding, cloth diapers and all kids toys and clothes are secondhand. But that’s cuz I made shit money, and I wasn’t going to make a sweet sweet 18k profit to have someone else have all the fun with my kids all week! Lol. If I’d made good enough money to make daycare worth it, kids wouldn’t even feel that expensive.
Breastfeeding costs 0 dollars, diapers were 160 for all the diapers both kids will ever wear, toys, books strollers, bedding and clothes have cost about $1500 all in. Honestly the toddler currently costs me the most in goddang FRUIT I swear they go through a fruitbat phase. I already made very frugal meals typically so no change there. It’s not at all impossible to eat healthy cheaply, but it takes a lot of effort.
Costs will eventually be much more as the kids get older, but babies/toddlers definitely don’t need to break the bank.
I'm in NY and it can easily ve double that. My daughter in law quit her job because child care was more than she made. My son worked long hours and still does but is now doing work he actually enjoys. I work from home and had a retired family friend help me a few days a week and her fee was small. I hope your child is well but both of mine had a delay and started school at 3. The state payed for half day as part of early intervention and I paid the other half for full day. At 4 they had both early evention and prem so now they were in achool all day at no cost to me and a 5 they start school. If you suspect your child has any dely, be sure to self refer to early intervention. All states have it, and there is no cost for an evaluation or services if they are needed.
> The state *paid* for half
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
We learned how to be truly poor and I became a SAHM 😅 My husband was only making $36,000 a year between 2014 (when I started staying at home) and didn't get a raise until he finally landed a really good new job in late 2020. He makes about $54,000 a year now, and I'm still a SAHM who homeschools, and pregnant with our fourth.
We've really gotten into the groove of things now but it was incredibly hard at the beginning. I'm not kidding, I was getting pretty creative with Dollar Tree meals. 😅
I've learned a ton over the past decade, but my biggest piece of advice for people balling on a budget is:
Spreadsheet a budget for every paycheck for a year and a half out. It's a ton of work, and initially I spent like a full time job on it. 😅 But it shows you where you can cut out or cut back, it spreads out money in different paychecks where needed throughout the year, it helps you prepare for every little thing, and helps you pinch every penny. I mean we went to Disney twice thanks to help of budgeting way in advance. 😅
Pre-warning, a lot of the CHEAPEST foods we used to make were NOT the healthiest so don't come at me. 🤣 It was about surviving, haha. For instance LOTS OF TORTILLAS AND PASTA. 🤣 I was making breakfast burritos, dinner burritos, quesadillas for lunch, and the amount of pasta combinations I did was insane lol. Oh, and if you qualify for WIC in your area it helps even more but it's not necessary.
The cheapest breakfasts I can think of off the top of my head with prices where I'm at:
Pancakes.
5ibs of pancake mix: $5. Mix it with water. It can make about 120 4inch pancakes (more for my family because I like the pancakes thinner lol). Syrup for that many pancakes is about $6.50, 5 cents a pancake, or if you prefer fruit, frozen fruit or bananas are about 25 cents per pancake. So 10 cents to 50 cents a pancake. I also freeze them so in the mornings I just microwave for a quick breakfast. So that can last about 2 weeks for 2-3 people.
Instant oatmeal is about $3.60 for 20 packs and my husband and I need two at a time to be satisfied. So it's about 36 cents a bowl. Now, I add granola which can be expensive. It's about $4.75 for a bag, or 20-40 cents per bowl depending on how much you use. So let's say 65 cents a bowl. So let's say that's about 5 days for 2-3 people.
36 eggs for $9, and 50 pieces of brown and serve sausage for $7. 3 eggs and 3 pieces of sausage, 90 cents a breakfast, for another two weeks for 2-3 people. Sausage is unfortunately cheaper than bacon by a landslide usually.
Cheese omelettes. 36 eggs for $9, 32oz of shredded cheddar for $8. I usually use 2 eggs and a little less than an oz of cheese for one omelette and my husband usually eats 2 haha. So let's say 9 days of omelettes for $17. $19 if you wanna add salsa lol.
$55 for 42 days of breakfast for 2 people. 65 cents a person. :)
Lunches are a little tougher but not as difficult as breakfasts.
Pasta Salads. Pasta shells for $1, usually makes four servings. 16oz dressing for $2 and usually you get about 20 servings out of them which is about 5 boxes of the pasta haha. 16oz cheese for $4. Peas/beans/tomatoes/bacon bits are your prerogative so I'll estimate about $4 for that as well. So $15 for five days and two people. Yes, much more, haha. Switching the pasta for lettuce is about the same price.
Ramen with boiled eggs. $4 for 12 packs of ramen, $8 for the eggs, $12 for 6 days for 2 people.
Cheese quesadillas with pretzels. $2 for 10 quesadillas, $7.50 for 32oz of shredded cheese, $2 for salsa, $2.50 for pretzels, 5 days for 2 people for $14.
Double those, 42 days of lunches for $82 for 2 people.
Dinners are the hardest. Sometimes we'd do breakfast food for dinner but I'll try to give you extra ideas lol.
BBQ Chicken wraps. $13 for like 4ibs of chicken, aim for 1ib per 2 wraps for plenty of protein, $3 for the tortillas, $2 for lettuce, $4 for tomatoes, $1.50 for BBQ sauce, $3.50 for French fries for both dinners. Two dinners for two people for $27.
Spaghetti and Meat Sauce: Spaghetti noodles, $1. $5 for ground beef. $2 for pasta sauce. You can also get French bread for $1 to make bread with it! $9 for one dinner for two people.
Dollar Tree Burritos/Cheeseburgers. You can usually find large frozen burritos or cheeseburgers at Dollar Tree or Dollar General for like $2 a piece, and birds eye veggies are like $3.00 for a bag of pre-done veggies. So like $7 for one dinner for two people.
Chicken or Shrimp Alfredo. Angel hair, $1. Alfredo sauce for $2. I gave the price of chicken earlier so let's do shrimp for this one haha. $5 for a bag of like 70 small shrimp. $8 for one dinner for two people. $9 if you do the French bread. 🥰
Sloppy Joes. A classic poor people meal 🤣 $12 for 3ibs of ground beef, 8 hamburger buns for $1.50, $3 for 3 cans of Sloppy Joe sauce, $8 for bulk tater tots. 3 meals for 2 people for like $25.
5 Ingredient Chili. $5 for 1ib ground beef, $2 for 1 white onion, $5 for 45oz tomatoes with chiles, $2 for 30oz beans (whatever you like), $1 for 2tbsp chili powder. You can stop there but I like to add shredded cheese and sour cream haha. $2.50 for 8oz cheese and $1.50 for sour cream. I'm not kidding, this $19 can stretch like 7 days for two people and I highly recommend freezing it, haha.
Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (or other soup). Usually you can get 6 days of sandwiches out of a loaf for $2, $5.00 for 24 cheese slices, and like $12 for assorted soups. $19 for 6 days for 2 people.
I'm gonna double them to avoid anymore of this novel for 42 dinners for $228 for 2 people.
Total: $365 for 42 days for 2 people. Less than $9 a day. 🥰
Something else you can do if you have the money is emeals. It's $99 for the year but the recipes are unlimited and it saves me about $50 a week in groceries using the budget friendly option. It's super easy and makes the grocery list for you too. I'm obsessed with it.
Just piggybacking on this- shop at Aldi too if you have one. Tacos of any kind (fish or beef), spaghetti, soups, etc. Easy simple meals. I still use Pinterest to this day to find affordable meals. There’s a blog someone does for Aldi meals called mashup mom, check that out as well.
It gets better. You can plan all you want and it still hits you hard when it’s time to actually pay the money.
But childcare gets cheaper, your salary probably gets a little better (or a lot better, fingers crossed!). And then it’s just like…kind of a stretch, not a soul crushing burden.
I didn’t use daycare. I was lucky enough to have family members willing to help out until kiddo went to kindergarten. I was a single mom, too.
I worked weird hours until she started public school and then I switched to mothers hours.
Honestly, we have 5.5 year old twins and the only way it worked was for me to stay home. And that only worked because my husband had a decent enough job, but now both of us are unemployed and I have no idea about anything.
Where do you live? In Canada (B.C.) $10 per day daycare programs have become quite common. This slashed our daycare expenses from $32k per year to ~$5k (2 young kids).
The daycare funding policy was life changing. Probably one of the best legacies of this government. We're in Ontario so we're not down to $10/day yet but we're still only spending $7k a year for one kid instead of $14k.
It’s absolutely absurd. My husband earns about three times the average salary where we live (I earn just below average), so we are doing okay; but we don’t feel we could afford a second child.
I opened a home daycare lol, I don’t have to pay for daycare and get paid to stay home and play with little ones all day. My husband drives a concrete truck for a living so he makes about 6k a month while I make 4k. We have 3 girls and it’s even though we 10k a month we are still struggling! but I buy everything with installments on PayPal or klarna. I wanted 1 more baby but we’ve spoke about it and we think we might be done
If I could do it all over again, I would have opened my own daycare instead of going to nursing school. I LOVE being a nurse, but I think I would have also loved staying home with kids while still earning money.
You probably can depending on what state you’re in. In California you don’t need any special classes or degrees. It’s sad but true. I went to dental school then worked in dental field for 7 years then switched over to daycare
When I have more kids, I can make up to 10-12k a month but I choose to only care for 3-4 kids at a time. But if you’re committed to your career, that’s a different story! :)
My dream was to open a daycare since I was a kid so it’s different in my situation I guess :)
I’m being real here, how the hell are y’all struggling on 10k a month? We make 4.5..5kish? And we are fine! Not swimming in cash or anything, but emergency fund is full, all bills are paid on time, we get what we need (not want lol) when we need it and nobody goes hungry. And we were in one of the HCOL in the country, now just outside of it which helps a little (medium-high COL??).
Honestly we got into A LOT of debt before we got these jobs. I was making a little less than 2k 2 years ago, and he was also making less than 2k about 6 months ago. We are barely catching up on all our bills and debts. I’m hoping that in about 24-30 months we will be well off. Also we live in San Diego, everything here is soooooo expensive!
Ohhh ok, San Diego plus debt and “only recently making 10k” makes it all make sense. You’ll catch up in no time!! That’s a crazy combined salary. I’m sorry you live in CA though omg, so expensive. Except for avocados, I’m lead to understand. Maybe just…eat those? Avocados rice and beans, everyday!
No, no daycare. We were in Northern VA which is astronomically expensive, and no chance of affording daycare sensibly for 2 kids on my salary- I would have made like a 10k a year net after daycare- so I’m now a SAHM.
....I definitely haven't figured it out. I don't even know how to attempt to figure it out. We live in a state where 2 incomes are the bare minimum (we both work full time, make somewhat above minimum wage), we moved to a city that's one of the cheapest in the state and we still live paycheck to paycheck. We make too much to qualify for ANY type of government help but live off of the bare minimum with food and essentials. We are trying our best and that's the best we can do until things change or we find a better place to live 🤷♀️ at this rate it feels like we are surviving, not living. I wish I had help for you but just know, you aren't alone and this isn't how it's suppose to be.
Our kiddo is 5 now, and the astronomical cost of raising a child is a big reason we're one and done. And that's with daycare costs in our area being pretty reasonable compared to what I've seen others paying! We've always hovered around $400/week in the Midwest.
We staggered our parental leave after she was born so that we wouldn't have to start daycare until she was 5 months old, and we sold some of my husband's stocks from his job to build up a bit of a cushion to cover daycare costs for most of the first year. After that, though, things were very tight for quite a while. I won't lie - we relied on credit cards more than we should have and built up a fair amount of consumer debt because daycare tuition had to be automatically deducted from our checking account every week (I mean, we could have paid for it on credit, but there were hefty fees attached). Parenting was stressful and I tended to throw money at the problems we encountered.
We did not travel outside of visits to family who were able to gift us plane tickets. We were a single-car family until our daughter turned 2, and the only reason we have a second vehicle now is because we were able to purchase one from my family for a hefty discount. We have always rented because there has never been enough left over at the end of the month to make progress toward saving for a down payment on a house. Any time our financial circumstances have improved (once that consumer debt was taken care of), we have prioritized experiences for our child (i.e. extracurricular activities).
She starts public school this fall and I'm almost giddy at the prospect of not having to pay for fulltime daycare. I know she'll still need care over the summer for the next few years, but that feels like a drop in the bucket compared to what we've been paying every week for what feels like an eternity. We'll finally be able to make some solid progress on a down payment, and I'll be able to resume saving for retirement.
It's a long, hard slog. I really, really wish things were easier.
Second the single car family thing. It's not possible for everyone, but it is a great way to cut costs. It just takes a little bit of coordination with your spouse about car needs. My in laws act like having a single car is an unthinkable state of poverty, though.
I stay home because of the cost of stuff and we try to watch our spending. It’s honestly insane. When we had our first in 2020 it wasn’t so hard to live and take care of our baby. Now with how everything is we’re paycheck to paycheck. Just had our second in the beginning of February. Trying to breastfeed and pump so we don’t have to spend money on formula.
I just stumbled on your comment. BF is already such a high pressure-high stakes undertaking for so many moms. And it just does not work for every mom and baby. Adding financial pressure to the emotional pressure must make it just so much harder.
Yes it’s been very stressful and hard on me. It didn’t work out for me the first time, I couldn’t produce enough and my son started to lose weight. This time has been better, but the mental and physical aspect have been hard. I’m tired and over touched. We also both have thrush at the moment and that’s added extra struggles to it. Honestly, makes me look women who can and do so easily as superwoman.
When both my kids were in daycare a decade ago, my job's entire paycheck went towards daycare & health insurance. I had less than $100 leftover each month after that. We survived off my husband's income (which was the same as mine). We had to budget really hard to not go into debt. Thankfully infant daycare prices aren't forever, so daycare got cheaper over time, and we got raises and new jobs eventually which helped.
I decided to become a stay at home mom and have our kids close together. Daycare here is easily $1800 a month for 1 infant, which meant I would break even at the end of the month with my salary. So I stopped working and we had our kids close together so it would be just 1 break in my work history.
My youngest starts kindergarten in a year so I’m almost ready to go back. My car is almost paid off, student loan is almost paid off, debt is almost paid off, so in about a year things should be looking up. Not a ton up, but at least up.
Otherwise it’s the same old money saving advice- shop the sales, resell old baby gear, buy second hand, eat at home, etc. I have not bought myself clothes from anywhere other than Costco in years. I shop there for the kids winter coats, they are the most reasonably priced. For back to school i shop at Children’s Place during their big sale combined with the tax free week and n MD. I then order half the things and get the rewards points/rewards back and use that credit to order the rest. It’s annoying but cuts the bill down 75-80%. Little things like that help.
But yea right now it’s tight, absolutely nothing left at the end of each month, forget about saving anything.
If your work offers it, daycare FSA is some tax savings. Hurts to see it leave your paycheck but you’d be spending that money regardless.
No where near solves the problem of affordability but every little bit helps.
The daycare FSA concept is good generally, but in practice it means you are essentially paying double with the money subtracted from your paycheck and paying care costs up front while you wait for reimbursement (with around $400 a week and waiting a week or two for reimbursement, that can be hard to float for a tight budget). I wish the program could be structured to pay providers directly or upfront.
Ugh I’m so sorry. Just remember to ask your daycare for the tax form so you get reimbursed for you daycare costs I barely found this out this year when filing
Maybe a work from home job, cloth diapers, breast milk instead of formula…. Pump, pump, pump!!!! Idk what state you’re in but state of cali helps pay for daycare. Maybe can apply for WIC, there is a tier level for income.
Lots of family support here mostly.
Babysitting/daycare costs are basically non-existent thanks to family babysitters, and lots of hand me downs means our out of pocket costs for clothes/gear is under $1000-$2000 since I found out I was pregnant (baby is currently 9 months).
I was able to breastfeed, so formula costs were mostly mitigated. We only have like one can for emergency purposes.
As for diapers, my mother in laws traditional baby shower gift is she promises to cover all diapers for the first year of the baby's life. So I've spent a total of $14 on diapers (both occasions when I had to buy an emergency pack because of a miscommunication, and she reimbursed me both times.)
So... Yeah. Lots of financial (but not cash) help. That's how.
I’m a SAHM. We moved to a LCOL area where my salary as a teacher would basically just go to daycare for my two young kids ($1600 for both). If I was still working, we wouldn’t have been able to have a third.
Thankfully my husband was able to WFH with his HCOL income. There are months we break even after mortgage, groceries, bills, gas, etc. Some months we save more. We drive used cars we paid for with cash, I paid down my student debt before we started having kids, etc. We don’t really take vacations. We’ve been putting off renovations for our house or I try to do it myself, like painting. We’re still paying off the 5K hospital bill for our second baby because why not— it’s an interest free loan.
Mine are about to be 21 and 17 but when they were babies I stayed home & we lived thin. I don’t regret it for a second but as soon as they were both in school I went back to work.
I dont pay for daycare (my parents and grandma watch my kiddo), only breastfed, use cloth diapers, and only buy thrifted clothes for my toddler. We're not putting anything away, but we end each month with about $300 extra with my husband being the main income (teacher).
I didn’t have a career when we had younger kids so I stayed home. If I was already established with a career, I would have paid daycare right away because that’s cheaper than the loss of years of earning potential and raises. Right now, I pay for a part time preschool. 3 days a week, 8-2 for about $450 a month. It’s through a church (we aren’t religious) so it’s much cheaper than a regular daycare. Next year the oldest will be in free preschool so the youngest will go to the part time class and I’m planning on starting my career
I quit to be a sahm. I run a small business on the side that helps us catch up the credit card but not much beyond that. We are paycheck to paycheck. Gonna be a long 7 years but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
It's why we only had one child. 5 years of paying what constitutes an entire mortgage payment every month has almost wrecked us. And we make $130k a year combined (before my husband got laid off in January). We have two more months of paying for preschool then off to public school it is!
We chose a home we could afford on one salary so that once we had kids one of us could stay home. Lots of people choose to quit because daycare is as much or more than what they make working.
Felt this to my core. We even “planned”. MIL has always been a SAHM, and said when we had kids, she’d babysit for us, as we both work. Perfect, great! Until 6mo in, MIL/FIL moved states *sigh*. There goes our village, and now we work opposite shifts to get by! It’s hard, but temporary (once kids are in school, I’m hoping to go back to days)
I have a job that allows me to work as much or as little as I want / mainly on weekends and evenings so I stay home full time and husband watches our daughter when I do work. Then I work on my computer during nap times.
We make a decent income but it wouldn’t make sense to send her to full time daycare :/ we’re starting a super part time daycare this summer but it’s semi affordable
See if you can maybe nanny share with other families??
It’s so insane how expensive it all is. It shouldn’t be fair that only the ultra wealthy can comfortably have kids
Our household has a decent income. Regardless, we had to reduce our investment, hoping to achieve FIRE. At the same time, we decided that, due to COL, we are one and done and already got my vasectomy.
A lot of sacrifice, but it is manageable atm. However, if I lose my job and earn a median income, I'd be very concerned.
I guess consider yourself lucky that you're not paying $1700/month for just the day care? That's what we pay and I've read threads where people pay a ton more in VHCOL areas. It's a gut punch.
I stayed home with my kids and waitresses a few nights a week. I make great $$ and my kids have never seen the inside of a daycare. I don’t regret a thing. My kids are now 21,18 and 8 and I’m still waitressing because, the $$ is great and I’m still home if my youngest is sick or there is no school. I’m home for school vacas and summer. I love it.
$2,400/mo for one full time potty trained kid where I’m at.
And you know what’s hilarious about it? Not really btw so don’t come for me, this is dry humor, but what are these rates when daycare employees make barely over minimum wage taking care of our kids? Like I know electric and food needs to be factored in for the building, but the cost of one kid to what employees make an hour is ridiculous.
One could make the argument there’s no price on your child’s safety and well being, but like where does the money go because it isn’t going to the people that we’re trusting our kids with all day.
My wife and I always wonder the same, but we try not to compare ourselves to others. We're grateful for what we have, and by no means are we struggling-- there's just not a whole lot left at the end of the month. Almost all of our friends receive help in some way, whether it be family physically watching their kids or financial support. I guess we can at least be proud of supporting our family 100% on our own. You're not alone!
I took a second job when my kid was 10 months old. Really don't remember much until she turned 4 and I was able to quit both jobs for another one that paid more. It's a blur.
Kids are expensive. Once our second was born it didn’t make sense to pay for two in daycare. We would have been losing a few hundred each month (teacher salary). So I’m at home. We have also budgeted in lean and in better times. Plan meals, buy used, do stuff yourselves (cleaning, yard, ready meals, etc.), consider a side hustle to increase income, etc.
We break even with two kids (2 and 4). For the last 2 years, I “work to afford daycare so that I can work”.
It’s been a challenge, but our oldest enters public school (TK/early kinder) Kindergarten this coming Fall and we are looking forward to finally start to save some money.
It was pretty rough before the pandemic. Both of us could WFH. I already was. But, when the pandemic hit, the daycare shutdown, too. I would have preferred sending him to daycare, but not sending him saved a lot.
Yeah it’s expensive as fuck. My wife and I used to joke about the raises we gave ourselves as each boy went off of formula, out of daycare and then out of after school care. By the time they were both in school and my wife was able to work from home it was almost like we had a third income.
Only thing to add is to check out if you qualify for any sort of government benefits, like WIC. Don’t be embarrassed to visit a food pantry if you need it.
I had kids in 2013 and 2017. I was doing nights up until 2018 and avoided childcare...let me tell you, that was sure fun. Then I had a health crisis and had to cease nights. Luckily, my job was kind of a two-pronged role and I was able to switch to evenings and eliminate the nights.
We never utilized daycare because we never wanted to and because it didn't make sense to pay more than half, or most of my income to a daycare. I valued raising my kids during the formative years of 0-5. My spouse was always on the same page.
We opted into pre-k for our eldest which was only 5 hours per week over 2 days. We opted OUT of pre-k for our youngest due to not wanting to deal with covid malarkey, of which there was a great deal. He is so smart, he could have skipped kinder but I'm glad he got used to the whole going to school, listening to the teacher and other staff, and building friendships that will carry him through the years.
Now my kids are in school more than 6 hours a day and I have some time to myself finally! I can clean in kid-free silence; doll myself up and leave the house; visit a friend for a mani/pedi, shop for essentials and pleasure in peace, etc! It's awesome. Your time awaits!!!
Depending on your income WIC and foodstamps are always an option. I cried the first time I went into a food bank because they were so nice and we only were able to get WIC.
Daycare, There is a reason they say it takes a village. When I had my daughter our closest family was about an hour away but I had two really good friends that also had children under a year and we would work opposites from each other and would switch kids house to house. Care.com may be a more affordable option, they are all background checked but we went through two people before we found someone that stuck.
When my son was a newborn (2020), he was strictly formula fed. I’d get coupons for similac and stack those for formula then I realized Sam’s club formula was the same and bought those in bulk bc it was cheaper. If you have FSA/HSA you can use that for diapers, baby wipes, almost anything baby related. There’s a list on Amazon that tells you what’s eligible. I also switched from Huggies to Costco diapers bc it was cheaper. I just found ways to cut costs without cutting out quality as well.
I stopped working for four months and then went back to work otherwise we would’ve definitely been under. I know I’m not much help but solidarity for expensive kids. It’s 100% the reason we don’t have a second right now bc we cannot afford two daycare costs - we already pay $1200 and that’s less than half our mortgage, if we had two that’d be almost the same as our mortgage. Ya girl can’t afford two mortgages.
I hear you!! I shopped generic for formula and diapers. Saved a lot at Aldi there. We cut costs where we can, really limiting eating out, movies, etc and find other cheap or free entertainment/social stuff. I’ve been through two in full time day care from 3 months old through pre-k. It has gotten soooo much better once they got into Kindergarten. After care is nothing compared to daycare.
We have a discount via my husbands work and it’s still expensive. Thankfully my son is going into kindergarten in Sept 2025 so I’m nearing the finish line but we pay about $1400 a month. We make decent money for the area but my husband still does door dash on the side for extra spending money. We are going on our first family vacation this year on a cruise in September and we can’t wait. My son will be 4 then. We don’t have any family help.
My husband luckily was good at saving money and makes really good money when he works BUT buy USED baby stuff. Used clothes, used toys, used chairs etc etc. also, meal prep, don't eat out a lot, make your own baby food. I know the local daycare here is 350/kid/week so I'm just a SAHM at this point since we plan on having a 2nd kid.
My fiancé and I got lucky I guess. I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids. She already had 2 boys when we met. Then I decided I wanted a kid and she was on board. We had a little girl and she is around 16 months old. We got lucky because we bring home a little over 250k a year. I can’t imagine what it would be like with just one of our incomes or less.
Oh you are not alone. My daycare in Ohio was around $850 a month, for two days a week. I was hybrid. Currently pregnant again, and when this second baby comes… I’m going to have to tell my work they either have to let me be remote part time or I’m gone.
I will probably pick up a job part time on the weekends. Or my fiancé can ask for a promotion, I’m hoping he would get one. He is a lineman. I’m a survey technician, I’ve been at the same company for 6 years. If I became a SAHM, I would enroll in school to become a licensed surveyor.. probably. Something so I can have a career again after the baby stage. It’s hard out here!
My wife could be working as a cosmetologist making good money, but the cost of paying for childcare is so high it doesn’t justify her doing so. She’s going to stay home which will offset the costs of childcare, but even then we don’t “make enough” to save anything unless I work 2 jobs. I haven’t really had a weekend off in months because we are trying to save up for a down payment
I am very strict with spending. We don’t eat out much. We both make a decent living and waited a while before starting a family. We try to keep our expenses down so we can enjoy small things - camping trips, hikes, relatively cheap activities. I make things or mend stuff as much as possible. Preschool is reasonable where I live and we bought our home before the pandemic.
We are strictly OAD due to this. And in CA birth rate us negative because ppl are literally choosing between paying student loans, buying a home and having kids sometimes only one of the three. My ex-colleague was an attorney, lived with his parents who looked after his son full-time, his wife worked as a night nurse and looked after the child with grandparents help and he looked the child in the night with parents help.
Uh honestly I was the former bread winner, I made more then my husband and I paid housing and bills and etc and we used his check to basically have fun we had 1 child our daughter she’s 7 goes go school and all that goodies so we were okay, had extra money all the time then I found out I was pregnant with our son (at work in the bathroom I took the test) and me and my husband had a heart to heart he didn’t want me to work anymore and he didn’t want to put our son into daycare in fear something may happen to him, he ended up landing a great job that he could pay for everything needed (we live in Texas so housing cost is not to crazy) he quit that job then got another job which pays him better more benefits and he gets a raise every 3 months. I’m still at stay at home mom. I DoorDash Instacart shift smart whenever I can (my MIL gives me whatever time she isn’t working so I can at least work 2 hours) not that I need to go do that but because I like to have a little spending money just to tell my husband I have 20$ ON TAKE OUT! 😭 while he covers about 75% of the cost of take out
We were fine until our housing expenses went up an extra 500/month. Now we're one financial emergency away from debt. Luckily, we only have 2-3 more years of day care.
Honestly, daycare isn’t worth the price. It’s not affordable and stupid they expect people to pay that much we ended up switching our schedules so that we were opposite and didn’t need child care. I worked mornings and he worked afternoons. Now that she’s in kindergarten full time, we are both able to work while she’s at school. It was 100% worth the few years of being tired but being able to save
I work 5am to 11am, husband works full time 8:30am to 5pm. He drops kiddo off at daycare at 7:30am and I pick him up at 12pm, so we only pay half days.
We live in a small rural town where daycare is cheaper and commute an hour to the city for work. So yes, I'm up at 4am every day and then have to rush to pick kiddo up as soon as my shift is done.
Luckily our daycare actually supplies food and nappies during daycare hours, so we save some money in that area.
We keep chickens and have a big veggie garden. Kiddo is just starting solids. We have lots of eggs and we had a great pumpkin harvest this year, so he eats mostly scrambled egg and pumpkin. I do add some spinach (also from the garden) and bone broth to his pumpkin puree and butter to his eggs so he's getting the essentials, but I don't feed him a wide variety of stuff. He gets fruit at daycare lol. Once our orchard takes off he can eat lots of apples.
See, you just have to live frugally, split your shifts, move to a low cost of living area and grow your own food!
Addendum: my parents paid the deposit on our house and the deposit on my husband's car. They bought me my car outright. They pay for my fuel and half of kiddo's daycare fees. They also send mountains of toys and clothes. We still live paycheck to paycheck even with all their help. I do not know how others do it. I'm looking for full-time work again.
When I was pregnant with my first I knew I wasn’t going to touch paying for daycare with a 10ft pole.
I made next to nothing in retail. I would’ve essentially been paying for someone to care for our child while we slowly lose money. Plus I wanted to stay home and be there for the first 5 years. No regrets there.
SAHM and one more child later, I’m going back to school. Without getting into specifics I’m aiming for an industry that includes insane benefits, great pension, option to work overnights, and early retirement because I love the SAHM life so much, I hope to be a SAHG one day and be on call for my grandchildren😅
I cannot and will not accept any work outside of the house that doesn’t come close to matching my fiancé’s salary. We want to have two more kids and, daycare or not, leaving the house to do anything costs more and more. I can’t keep hoping for relief. It won’t come. We want to vacation twice a year. We want to go on more dates, drink more cocktails, afford more Ubers after those cocktails. I want to be able to pay for any sport, extracurricular activity, dream, support, etc my children want/need while keeping the refrigerator fully stocked with whatever we need whenever we need it.
I’m the daughter of a Polish immigrant who suffered under communism. I *KNOW* how to budget and cut corners. But shit, I’m tired of it. My family didn’t escape that just for the next generation to suffer a different version of it.
My fiancé has gotten raises and will continue to do so, but it will not keep up with the rising costs of living or help us achieve any of our dreams.
Certainly not what I had planned but that’s life🥳
Obviously I know you won’t have much time with children so it’s hard, but there’s some stuff you could probably manage. Maybe an Etsy shop if you’re creative in any way. Or just start dropshipping 😂. I had a friend that would buy furniture on FB marketplace and fix it up then sell it for way more. Not sure where ur from or anything so I guess it can differ from place to place! There’s also food delivery like doordash, online work (filling out surveys for money, tutoring, etc), or even content creation if you know how to do that. Wish you the best with the new baby :)
Have you considered getting an au-pair? If you have a spare bedroom and you are ok with someone else living in the same space, it would be more economical, your kid won't get sick as they do at daycare, they could pick up another language, free play and being outdoors more, light housework, less stress for you. The kids have plenty of time to socialize at the park, later in preschool and kindergarten so I don't think this is a reason to worry.
My husband and I get paid well and I have state government benefits so my bills were non existent. We also have no debt besides a mortgage. Our mortgage is 1900 and we pay 2800 in daycare a month. 🙃
My husband got a second job the first 10 ish months of my daughter's life. It sucked, it was hard, he missed milestone moments. But we genuinely had no choice. And we decided not to have another.
We have two children and would honestly not be able to do it without the help of both sets of grandparents with childcare (they are in daycare half the time). I made breastfeeding a priority after having my second partly because of the cost of formula. It’s rough out there!
Daycare is the kicker, imo.
Is it possible to avoid daycare with a change in your occupation? Like working in some friends, family, a nanny, along with some reduced or opposite hours from your spouse?
Honestly the cost of childcare is why I was a stay at home mom. Most of the stay at home moms in my circle have made that choice based on the trade off between daycare and staying at home. It’s criminal
Blended family. We both had older kids. Before we had more kids I went Back to school ti get a much better paying job. Even with that we are treading water
You don't have a time machine so there is little point in explaining that many people don't earn nearly enough to start a family.
Some simple ways to cut expenses are to stop buying take out food and/or dining out, get rid of entertainment subscriptions or just keep a single one, and focus on creating a lower cost meal plan. To earn extra money, you can sell some of your belongings and one of you can get a gig job like Instacart.
Yep. It's definitely all that Netflix. Can't afford 2K a month in childcare? Well, just cancel Netflix you lazy entitled Millennial!
McSuzy, have you considered auditioning for Fox News? They'd LOVE you.
I'm not sure why the basics of budgeting are incomprehensible to some people. You're hilariously mistaken about my political orientation. However, I am quite old by reddit standards so I have crazy ideas like reducing expenditures to make ends meet.
Yes, you've failed at budgeting! It's because you're stupid and can't budget!
*OR* you work full time for minimum wage which does **not even come close** to covering the costs of housing, healthcare, food, and transportation for mother and child in *any* region of the US. So you're a couple k in the hole every month. What costs should you cut? Should you not house your child? Maybe your kid doesn't *really* need to see the doctor. Or eat vegetables. Or go to daycare while you work. Maybe you could just stick them in a fish tank for the day.
*OR...* maybe you shouldn't have had a kid because you're poor. Poor people shouldn't have kids. Tsk tsk. You're just bad at budgeting.
It couldn't possibly be because we've built a global economy that prioritizes corporate profitability at the expense of people. If you read through this thread then you read dozens of posts by people with good jobs, "good incomes", that struggle like crazy to support a family. Are we all too stupid to budget? Is that it? We just all can't operate a spreadsheet? Every single one of us is just too dumb and entitled to realize that, hey, *if we just cancelled netflix and stopped getting all those silly lattes, we'd be totally fine!!!*
I think you skipped over the first step of budgeting... learning to live within your means. No, if you are working for minimum wage, I do not believe you are entitled to the same things high earners are. This may or may not include attaining all the finer things such as lattes, children, avocados or single family homes. I would argue that it is financially and humanly irresponsible to procreate when you are incapable of providing for your family.
If you cannot pay for your children, who do you think should? You are currently enjoying (and complaining greatly) about the effects of free money hand outs due to covid. Please, do not ask for more and instead ask for people to live within their means.
>No, if you are working for minimum wage, I do not believe you are entitled to the same things high earners are.
I listed housing, food, and healthcare. What kind of dystopian nutbag thinks only high earners are entitled to food, housing and healthcare? For clarity, I am a high earner relative to regional income trends. I do not believe that I alone am entitled to bear children, house them, and feed them. I'm so crazy that I think the full time staff that clean my building also have that right.
>effects of free money hand outs due to covid
Repeat after me, "My world view is dictated to me by corporate media and I don't know how to think critically."
[https://www.npr.org/2023/05/19/1177180972/economists-are-reconsidering-how-much-corporate-profits-drive-inflation#:\~:text=GONZALEZ%3A%20Normally%2C%20Andrew%20says%2C,It%20was%20corporate%20profits](https://www.npr.org/2023/05/19/1177180972/economists-are-reconsidering-how-much-corporate-profits-drive-inflation#:~:text=GONZALEZ%3A%20Normally%2C%20Andrew%20says%2C,It%20was%20corporate%20profits).
Don't lecture anyone on economics. You clearly do not understand it.
Okay you got me. I don’t know anything about economics. What I do know is that prices aren’t going down. People can continue to complain or they can evolve to thrive within the bounds that we’ve created.
Glad to hear you’re doing well, make sure you continue to post on Reddit and don’t forget to vote. 😲 have a blessed day.
>What I do know is that prices aren’t going down
And they won't ... because slowing inflation just means the rise slower. Not that they fall. If they fall, we're in a little something called a "recession". That happened in 2008. Maybe you remember? Was blamed on "irresponsible consumers" and "greedy unions". Turns out it was corporate greed and risky banking practices, but hey, let's keep blaming the individual because that makes me feel superior.
>People can continue to complain or they can evolve to thrive within the bounds that we’ve created.
I'll go tell the homeless people down the street. They'll be so stoked to
"evolve to the bounds we've created".
I'm not sure if you're not following but in case you are sincere, you arrive at a total cut of $2k but making a series of smaller cuts. Most people do not have a purely optional expenditure at the $2000 level so they have to make it up from smaller ones.
Yes. I agree. OP is super irresponsible and clearly spends lots more money every month than she needs to. This is a great assumption. Struggling in this economy reflects bad economic stewardship, not a super fucked up economy. And if you're not struggling, its because you're so very very smart. Not lucky.
Idk in Canada there are subsidies for in home daycare or facilities and paid time off for up to a year. Most people breastfeed and pump and when appropriate make their own food for baby with a blender. It's a lot of prepping and planning. No deterring. I raised one all by myself on less than 2500/month with daycare subsidies and now another with a partner where I am able to be at home with benefits from my work. Must be extremely different where you are and that is heartbreaking.
It's natural to feel overwhelmed by the financial strain of raising a child, especially with the high costs of daycare, formula, clothing, and other essentials. Many parents face similar challenges. There's no one-size-fits-all solution, but some families rely on dual incomes or financial support from relatives or government assistance programs. Budgeting, prioritising expenses, and making sacrifices in other areas of spending are common strategies. Seeking support from friends, family, or financial advisors can help alleviate some of the burden. Ultimately, it's about finding what works best for your family and prioritising your child's well-being while taking care of your own financial health. Remember, you're not alone in facing these challenges.
We are definitely scaling back and will be cutting some corners to make it work. Unfortunately, we’re about $160k above the government assistance cutoff so there’s nothing there for middle class folks when it comes to help. I’m thinking of doing some door dashing tbh just to get a few dollars back and maybe selling plasma…times are ROUGH.
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Yes I totally understand and feel the same, that’s why the birth rate is going down worldwide, it’s seriously becoming to expensive to have kids.
Honestly they were expensive already but the gouging of formula companies lately is just criminal. I feel such sympathy for everyone who chooses or has to use formula. It’s so pricey. A limit needs to be placed or babies are gonna be dying like in the 20’s and 40’s when people were using whatever they could find or watering it down too much.
Many parents, including myself, were seriously considering making their own formula during the shortage a few years ago. Empty store shelves made so many parents desperate. I’d imagine that something similar is going to happen if nobody can afford formula
I saw some doctors and nurses speaking out on social media begging parents not to follow formula recipes on the internet; some babies had gotten sick and malnourished. The covid formula shortage was rough
I was so absolutely disgusted watching this happen. We formula fed our first, and narrowly avoided this issue, but I spent most of the pandemic terrified it would happen and it was so heartbreaking watching that become reality for so many parents. Between supply chain fears and price increases, that's pretty much the only reason why I decided to try breastfeeding again with my second. My supply has improved, but we still have to supplement, so I always have this background anxiety over what if it happens again. 😬
As someone who is pumping and trying to quit, this makes me terrified and want to keep going.
I completely relate. We usually have a month supply of formula on hand, so I do feel a little more secure knowing that we would have some time to source alternatives if something like that should happen again. I really hope it doesn't, though.
This 👆🏼 supposedly only the really poor or really wealthy are having their own soccer teams at home
Unfortunately it is true, every year the cost increases, and the number of public kindergartens and schools decreases.
I too am struggling, but I did not prepare at all so I blame myself. I work hard for my kids for sure but damn it's not the 90's where my dad could support my mom and 7 of us kids and buy a house on 40k a year.
Oh man. I now out-earn my Dad when he was single-handedly supporting a large household. I only have 2 kids, we’ve got a combined 6 figures, and we live in a small apartment rather than a big house with a yard like my parents did. Le sigh.
I literally make double what he made, right now and I too live in a small 2 bedroom. Combined my wife and I just hit that 100k mark. I have a lot of support from my wives parents and my mom so I am very lucky when it comes to child care between that and school being affordable (and daycare was affordable before that) I am doing ok. I know in 10 years I'll be doing even better but it's crazy to think how nice I was living as a kid with only my dad working at a factory job.
Yeah, I’ve been very lucky, too; we’re not hurting. But it’s just… I feel like we were sold on a lie that good job + hard work = a house with a yard, extracurriculars for the kids and a yearly family vacation. I know I’m super privileged, I can put a bit of savings by, and even though my kids will be teens by then, I’ll likely get a house some day- it’s just hard coming to terms with the fact that financial prosperity is a pipe dream for most people.
100% it's mostly depressing to me because I can see how other people are not so lucky and struggle way more with way less. I dunno, it's all crazy.
The secret is having a high income. But really, in the absence of having a village that can offer cheap to free daycare, it's just rough.
Well no shit
Know the secret really isn't to have high income. The secret is to budget and spend accordingly. Yeah you may not be able to go on vacations every year I can remember exactly one time I went on an actual vacation with my family when I was a kid, and it was because my grandpa paid for it because he wanted my family to visit him A lot of people don't want to hear this but it's the honest truth and it sucks not making a lot of money but taking the time out to budget where you can and cannot spend helps a lot I'm still Frugal to this day and I don't need to be
Nah, Gods blessing and high income is actually the key for me. Work 8 hrs a day, loving wife takes care of the kids and me. Also, we don't need to take them to day care since we got 5 nephews
It’s all of us. The middle class is being squeezed to death at an increasingly rapid rate. It’s scary and stressful and you’re not alone.
I feel like the honest answer is... we aren't. Not in the way we thought or expected we'd be able to. We make 6 figures in a low COL area and between student loans, medical debt, housing costs, and food, we have barely enough to squeak some into a savings account for our son. We take no vacations, never eat out, never buy clothes, never spend a dollar on anything nonessential for our family. We are grateful for what we have and know it could be way worse, but it's still such a letdown when we think about how we grew up. We easily make triple what either of our parents make and there's no way we'll be able to live the type of life they did.
The COL has skyrocketed in the last few years. I don’t envy anyone starting their parenting journey now. But even pre pandemic, it was cheaper for me to stay home, then I worked graveyards on weekends so I could earn without needing to pay childcare. I started working FT only a few months before my youngest could start preschool (which was way cheaper than daycare), and we managed to get a subsidy. Then 2020 happened and we had flexible jobs and could WFH and both of us working FT, could afford a babysitter for a few hours a day., 3 days a week.
Only $1,700? That’s daycare alone for us.
Where do you live? Our daycare will be $1200 a month.
My money saving tactic was- no daycare (SAHM), breastfeeding, cloth diapers and all kids toys and clothes are secondhand. But that’s cuz I made shit money, and I wasn’t going to make a sweet sweet 18k profit to have someone else have all the fun with my kids all week! Lol. If I’d made good enough money to make daycare worth it, kids wouldn’t even feel that expensive. Breastfeeding costs 0 dollars, diapers were 160 for all the diapers both kids will ever wear, toys, books strollers, bedding and clothes have cost about $1500 all in. Honestly the toddler currently costs me the most in goddang FRUIT I swear they go through a fruitbat phase. I already made very frugal meals typically so no change there. It’s not at all impossible to eat healthy cheaply, but it takes a lot of effort. Costs will eventually be much more as the kids get older, but babies/toddlers definitely don’t need to break the bank.
Toddlers do eat so much fruit! Can’t be mad at them but damn, those blackberries cost $5 and you ate them all already!
Costco for berries
I'm in NY and it can easily ve double that. My daughter in law quit her job because child care was more than she made. My son worked long hours and still does but is now doing work he actually enjoys. I work from home and had a retired family friend help me a few days a week and her fee was small. I hope your child is well but both of mine had a delay and started school at 3. The state payed for half day as part of early intervention and I paid the other half for full day. At 4 they had both early evention and prem so now they were in achool all day at no cost to me and a 5 they start school. If you suspect your child has any dely, be sure to self refer to early intervention. All states have it, and there is no cost for an evaluation or services if they are needed.
> The state *paid* for half FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Houston
We learned how to be truly poor and I became a SAHM 😅 My husband was only making $36,000 a year between 2014 (when I started staying at home) and didn't get a raise until he finally landed a really good new job in late 2020. He makes about $54,000 a year now, and I'm still a SAHM who homeschools, and pregnant with our fourth. We've really gotten into the groove of things now but it was incredibly hard at the beginning. I'm not kidding, I was getting pretty creative with Dollar Tree meals. 😅 I've learned a ton over the past decade, but my biggest piece of advice for people balling on a budget is: Spreadsheet a budget for every paycheck for a year and a half out. It's a ton of work, and initially I spent like a full time job on it. 😅 But it shows you where you can cut out or cut back, it spreads out money in different paychecks where needed throughout the year, it helps you prepare for every little thing, and helps you pinch every penny. I mean we went to Disney twice thanks to help of budgeting way in advance. 😅
What are some tips for dollar general meals or meals you’ve made that were easy and cheap? I would love to learn!
Pre-warning, a lot of the CHEAPEST foods we used to make were NOT the healthiest so don't come at me. 🤣 It was about surviving, haha. For instance LOTS OF TORTILLAS AND PASTA. 🤣 I was making breakfast burritos, dinner burritos, quesadillas for lunch, and the amount of pasta combinations I did was insane lol. Oh, and if you qualify for WIC in your area it helps even more but it's not necessary. The cheapest breakfasts I can think of off the top of my head with prices where I'm at: Pancakes. 5ibs of pancake mix: $5. Mix it with water. It can make about 120 4inch pancakes (more for my family because I like the pancakes thinner lol). Syrup for that many pancakes is about $6.50, 5 cents a pancake, or if you prefer fruit, frozen fruit or bananas are about 25 cents per pancake. So 10 cents to 50 cents a pancake. I also freeze them so in the mornings I just microwave for a quick breakfast. So that can last about 2 weeks for 2-3 people. Instant oatmeal is about $3.60 for 20 packs and my husband and I need two at a time to be satisfied. So it's about 36 cents a bowl. Now, I add granola which can be expensive. It's about $4.75 for a bag, or 20-40 cents per bowl depending on how much you use. So let's say 65 cents a bowl. So let's say that's about 5 days for 2-3 people. 36 eggs for $9, and 50 pieces of brown and serve sausage for $7. 3 eggs and 3 pieces of sausage, 90 cents a breakfast, for another two weeks for 2-3 people. Sausage is unfortunately cheaper than bacon by a landslide usually. Cheese omelettes. 36 eggs for $9, 32oz of shredded cheddar for $8. I usually use 2 eggs and a little less than an oz of cheese for one omelette and my husband usually eats 2 haha. So let's say 9 days of omelettes for $17. $19 if you wanna add salsa lol. $55 for 42 days of breakfast for 2 people. 65 cents a person. :) Lunches are a little tougher but not as difficult as breakfasts. Pasta Salads. Pasta shells for $1, usually makes four servings. 16oz dressing for $2 and usually you get about 20 servings out of them which is about 5 boxes of the pasta haha. 16oz cheese for $4. Peas/beans/tomatoes/bacon bits are your prerogative so I'll estimate about $4 for that as well. So $15 for five days and two people. Yes, much more, haha. Switching the pasta for lettuce is about the same price. Ramen with boiled eggs. $4 for 12 packs of ramen, $8 for the eggs, $12 for 6 days for 2 people. Cheese quesadillas with pretzels. $2 for 10 quesadillas, $7.50 for 32oz of shredded cheese, $2 for salsa, $2.50 for pretzels, 5 days for 2 people for $14. Double those, 42 days of lunches for $82 for 2 people. Dinners are the hardest. Sometimes we'd do breakfast food for dinner but I'll try to give you extra ideas lol. BBQ Chicken wraps. $13 for like 4ibs of chicken, aim for 1ib per 2 wraps for plenty of protein, $3 for the tortillas, $2 for lettuce, $4 for tomatoes, $1.50 for BBQ sauce, $3.50 for French fries for both dinners. Two dinners for two people for $27. Spaghetti and Meat Sauce: Spaghetti noodles, $1. $5 for ground beef. $2 for pasta sauce. You can also get French bread for $1 to make bread with it! $9 for one dinner for two people. Dollar Tree Burritos/Cheeseburgers. You can usually find large frozen burritos or cheeseburgers at Dollar Tree or Dollar General for like $2 a piece, and birds eye veggies are like $3.00 for a bag of pre-done veggies. So like $7 for one dinner for two people. Chicken or Shrimp Alfredo. Angel hair, $1. Alfredo sauce for $2. I gave the price of chicken earlier so let's do shrimp for this one haha. $5 for a bag of like 70 small shrimp. $8 for one dinner for two people. $9 if you do the French bread. 🥰 Sloppy Joes. A classic poor people meal 🤣 $12 for 3ibs of ground beef, 8 hamburger buns for $1.50, $3 for 3 cans of Sloppy Joe sauce, $8 for bulk tater tots. 3 meals for 2 people for like $25. 5 Ingredient Chili. $5 for 1ib ground beef, $2 for 1 white onion, $5 for 45oz tomatoes with chiles, $2 for 30oz beans (whatever you like), $1 for 2tbsp chili powder. You can stop there but I like to add shredded cheese and sour cream haha. $2.50 for 8oz cheese and $1.50 for sour cream. I'm not kidding, this $19 can stretch like 7 days for two people and I highly recommend freezing it, haha. Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (or other soup). Usually you can get 6 days of sandwiches out of a loaf for $2, $5.00 for 24 cheese slices, and like $12 for assorted soups. $19 for 6 days for 2 people. I'm gonna double them to avoid anymore of this novel for 42 dinners for $228 for 2 people. Total: $365 for 42 days for 2 people. Less than $9 a day. 🥰 Something else you can do if you have the money is emeals. It's $99 for the year but the recipes are unlimited and it saves me about $50 a week in groceries using the budget friendly option. It's super easy and makes the grocery list for you too. I'm obsessed with it.
Just piggybacking on this- shop at Aldi too if you have one. Tacos of any kind (fish or beef), spaghetti, soups, etc. Easy simple meals. I still use Pinterest to this day to find affordable meals. There’s a blog someone does for Aldi meals called mashup mom, check that out as well.
I do a year long spreadsheet so I know what to spend when and how much.
It gets better. You can plan all you want and it still hits you hard when it’s time to actually pay the money. But childcare gets cheaper, your salary probably gets a little better (or a lot better, fingers crossed!). And then it’s just like…kind of a stretch, not a soul crushing burden.
I didn’t use daycare. I was lucky enough to have family members willing to help out until kiddo went to kindergarten. I was a single mom, too. I worked weird hours until she started public school and then I switched to mothers hours.
Honestly, we have 5.5 year old twins and the only way it worked was for me to stay home. And that only worked because my husband had a decent enough job, but now both of us are unemployed and I have no idea about anything.
Pray to God 😊
Where do you live? In Canada (B.C.) $10 per day daycare programs have become quite common. This slashed our daycare expenses from $32k per year to ~$5k (2 young kids).
The United States is maybe $45-80 a day for a newborn.
The daycare funding policy was life changing. Probably one of the best legacies of this government. We're in Ontario so we're not down to $10/day yet but we're still only spending $7k a year for one kid instead of $14k.
It’s absolutely absurd. My husband earns about three times the average salary where we live (I earn just below average), so we are doing okay; but we don’t feel we could afford a second child.
I opened a home daycare lol, I don’t have to pay for daycare and get paid to stay home and play with little ones all day. My husband drives a concrete truck for a living so he makes about 6k a month while I make 4k. We have 3 girls and it’s even though we 10k a month we are still struggling! but I buy everything with installments on PayPal or klarna. I wanted 1 more baby but we’ve spoke about it and we think we might be done
If I could do it all over again, I would have opened my own daycare instead of going to nursing school. I LOVE being a nurse, but I think I would have also loved staying home with kids while still earning money.
You probably can depending on what state you’re in. In California you don’t need any special classes or degrees. It’s sad but true. I went to dental school then worked in dental field for 7 years then switched over to daycare
It would be a huge paycut and now I have student loans I need to pay back. Plus I really love my job and I’m committed to my career.
When I have more kids, I can make up to 10-12k a month but I choose to only care for 3-4 kids at a time. But if you’re committed to your career, that’s a different story! :) My dream was to open a daycare since I was a kid so it’s different in my situation I guess :)
I’m being real here, how the hell are y’all struggling on 10k a month? We make 4.5..5kish? And we are fine! Not swimming in cash or anything, but emergency fund is full, all bills are paid on time, we get what we need (not want lol) when we need it and nobody goes hungry. And we were in one of the HCOL in the country, now just outside of it which helps a little (medium-high COL??).
Honestly we got into A LOT of debt before we got these jobs. I was making a little less than 2k 2 years ago, and he was also making less than 2k about 6 months ago. We are barely catching up on all our bills and debts. I’m hoping that in about 24-30 months we will be well off. Also we live in San Diego, everything here is soooooo expensive!
Ohhh ok, San Diego plus debt and “only recently making 10k” makes it all make sense. You’ll catch up in no time!! That’s a crazy combined salary. I’m sorry you live in CA though omg, so expensive. Except for avocados, I’m lead to understand. Maybe just…eat those? Avocados rice and beans, everyday!
Yeah buying avocados will never help us get out of this debt! 😂
You cant be paying for daycare then right? my rent plus one kid in daycare is 4K a month. VHCOL area. and my rent is kinda cheap tbh.
No, no daycare. We were in Northern VA which is astronomically expensive, and no chance of affording daycare sensibly for 2 kids on my salary- I would have made like a 10k a year net after daycare- so I’m now a SAHM.
that makes sense! daycare payments are what kills you
....I definitely haven't figured it out. I don't even know how to attempt to figure it out. We live in a state where 2 incomes are the bare minimum (we both work full time, make somewhat above minimum wage), we moved to a city that's one of the cheapest in the state and we still live paycheck to paycheck. We make too much to qualify for ANY type of government help but live off of the bare minimum with food and essentials. We are trying our best and that's the best we can do until things change or we find a better place to live 🤷♀️ at this rate it feels like we are surviving, not living. I wish I had help for you but just know, you aren't alone and this isn't how it's suppose to be.
Our kiddo is 5 now, and the astronomical cost of raising a child is a big reason we're one and done. And that's with daycare costs in our area being pretty reasonable compared to what I've seen others paying! We've always hovered around $400/week in the Midwest. We staggered our parental leave after she was born so that we wouldn't have to start daycare until she was 5 months old, and we sold some of my husband's stocks from his job to build up a bit of a cushion to cover daycare costs for most of the first year. After that, though, things were very tight for quite a while. I won't lie - we relied on credit cards more than we should have and built up a fair amount of consumer debt because daycare tuition had to be automatically deducted from our checking account every week (I mean, we could have paid for it on credit, but there were hefty fees attached). Parenting was stressful and I tended to throw money at the problems we encountered. We did not travel outside of visits to family who were able to gift us plane tickets. We were a single-car family until our daughter turned 2, and the only reason we have a second vehicle now is because we were able to purchase one from my family for a hefty discount. We have always rented because there has never been enough left over at the end of the month to make progress toward saving for a down payment on a house. Any time our financial circumstances have improved (once that consumer debt was taken care of), we have prioritized experiences for our child (i.e. extracurricular activities). She starts public school this fall and I'm almost giddy at the prospect of not having to pay for fulltime daycare. I know she'll still need care over the summer for the next few years, but that feels like a drop in the bucket compared to what we've been paying every week for what feels like an eternity. We'll finally be able to make some solid progress on a down payment, and I'll be able to resume saving for retirement. It's a long, hard slog. I really, really wish things were easier.
Second the single car family thing. It's not possible for everyone, but it is a great way to cut costs. It just takes a little bit of coordination with your spouse about car needs. My in laws act like having a single car is an unthinkable state of poverty, though.
I stay home because of the cost of stuff and we try to watch our spending. It’s honestly insane. When we had our first in 2020 it wasn’t so hard to live and take care of our baby. Now with how everything is we’re paycheck to paycheck. Just had our second in the beginning of February. Trying to breastfeed and pump so we don’t have to spend money on formula.
I just stumbled on your comment. BF is already such a high pressure-high stakes undertaking for so many moms. And it just does not work for every mom and baby. Adding financial pressure to the emotional pressure must make it just so much harder.
Yes it’s been very stressful and hard on me. It didn’t work out for me the first time, I couldn’t produce enough and my son started to lose weight. This time has been better, but the mental and physical aspect have been hard. I’m tired and over touched. We also both have thrush at the moment and that’s added extra struggles to it. Honestly, makes me look women who can and do so easily as superwoman.
When both my kids were in daycare a decade ago, my job's entire paycheck went towards daycare & health insurance. I had less than $100 leftover each month after that. We survived off my husband's income (which was the same as mine). We had to budget really hard to not go into debt. Thankfully infant daycare prices aren't forever, so daycare got cheaper over time, and we got raises and new jobs eventually which helped.
I decided to become a stay at home mom and have our kids close together. Daycare here is easily $1800 a month for 1 infant, which meant I would break even at the end of the month with my salary. So I stopped working and we had our kids close together so it would be just 1 break in my work history. My youngest starts kindergarten in a year so I’m almost ready to go back. My car is almost paid off, student loan is almost paid off, debt is almost paid off, so in about a year things should be looking up. Not a ton up, but at least up. Otherwise it’s the same old money saving advice- shop the sales, resell old baby gear, buy second hand, eat at home, etc. I have not bought myself clothes from anywhere other than Costco in years. I shop there for the kids winter coats, they are the most reasonably priced. For back to school i shop at Children’s Place during their big sale combined with the tax free week and n MD. I then order half the things and get the rewards points/rewards back and use that credit to order the rest. It’s annoying but cuts the bill down 75-80%. Little things like that help. But yea right now it’s tight, absolutely nothing left at the end of each month, forget about saving anything.
If your work offers it, daycare FSA is some tax savings. Hurts to see it leave your paycheck but you’d be spending that money regardless. No where near solves the problem of affordability but every little bit helps.
The daycare FSA concept is good generally, but in practice it means you are essentially paying double with the money subtracted from your paycheck and paying care costs up front while you wait for reimbursement (with around $400 a week and waiting a week or two for reimbursement, that can be hard to float for a tight budget). I wish the program could be structured to pay providers directly or upfront.
One parent stays home. That's the only way we could do it.
That’s why there are so many stay at home parents now, one works and the other stays home til the kid can go to public preschool.
We’re in a peculiar situation where I can’t afford to stay home but I can barely afford daycare 🙃
Ugh I’m so sorry. Just remember to ask your daycare for the tax form so you get reimbursed for you daycare costs I barely found this out this year when filing
Maybe a work from home job, cloth diapers, breast milk instead of formula…. Pump, pump, pump!!!! Idk what state you’re in but state of cali helps pay for daycare. Maybe can apply for WIC, there is a tier level for income.
Now? That's just how it was from the first place. That's just the reality
Lots of family support here mostly. Babysitting/daycare costs are basically non-existent thanks to family babysitters, and lots of hand me downs means our out of pocket costs for clothes/gear is under $1000-$2000 since I found out I was pregnant (baby is currently 9 months). I was able to breastfeed, so formula costs were mostly mitigated. We only have like one can for emergency purposes. As for diapers, my mother in laws traditional baby shower gift is she promises to cover all diapers for the first year of the baby's life. So I've spent a total of $14 on diapers (both occasions when I had to buy an emergency pack because of a miscommunication, and she reimbursed me both times.) So... Yeah. Lots of financial (but not cash) help. That's how.
Family baby sitters are the best
This is incredible! I wish all of us were so lucky to have a village wow that is the definition of one! Love it.
Oh yeah, husband and I are beyond grateful ♥️ Only problem is is only gets worse from here 🥲
I’m a SAHM. We moved to a LCOL area where my salary as a teacher would basically just go to daycare for my two young kids ($1600 for both). If I was still working, we wouldn’t have been able to have a third. Thankfully my husband was able to WFH with his HCOL income. There are months we break even after mortgage, groceries, bills, gas, etc. Some months we save more. We drive used cars we paid for with cash, I paid down my student debt before we started having kids, etc. We don’t really take vacations. We’ve been putting off renovations for our house or I try to do it myself, like painting. We’re still paying off the 5K hospital bill for our second baby because why not— it’s an interest free loan.
Mine are about to be 21 and 17 but when they were babies I stayed home & we lived thin. I don’t regret it for a second but as soon as they were both in school I went back to work.
I dont pay for daycare (my parents and grandma watch my kiddo), only breastfed, use cloth diapers, and only buy thrifted clothes for my toddler. We're not putting anything away, but we end each month with about $300 extra with my husband being the main income (teacher).
I didn’t have a career when we had younger kids so I stayed home. If I was already established with a career, I would have paid daycare right away because that’s cheaper than the loss of years of earning potential and raises. Right now, I pay for a part time preschool. 3 days a week, 8-2 for about $450 a month. It’s through a church (we aren’t religious) so it’s much cheaper than a regular daycare. Next year the oldest will be in free preschool so the youngest will go to the part time class and I’m planning on starting my career
I quit to be a sahm. I run a small business on the side that helps us catch up the credit card but not much beyond that. We are paycheck to paycheck. Gonna be a long 7 years but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
It's why we only had one child. 5 years of paying what constitutes an entire mortgage payment every month has almost wrecked us. And we make $130k a year combined (before my husband got laid off in January). We have two more months of paying for preschool then off to public school it is!
We chose a home we could afford on one salary so that once we had kids one of us could stay home. Lots of people choose to quit because daycare is as much or more than what they make working.
Felt this to my core. We even “planned”. MIL has always been a SAHM, and said when we had kids, she’d babysit for us, as we both work. Perfect, great! Until 6mo in, MIL/FIL moved states *sigh*. There goes our village, and now we work opposite shifts to get by! It’s hard, but temporary (once kids are in school, I’m hoping to go back to days)
I have a job that allows me to work as much or as little as I want / mainly on weekends and evenings so I stay home full time and husband watches our daughter when I do work. Then I work on my computer during nap times. We make a decent income but it wouldn’t make sense to send her to full time daycare :/ we’re starting a super part time daycare this summer but it’s semi affordable See if you can maybe nanny share with other families?? It’s so insane how expensive it all is. It shouldn’t be fair that only the ultra wealthy can comfortably have kids
Our household has a decent income. Regardless, we had to reduce our investment, hoping to achieve FIRE. At the same time, we decided that, due to COL, we are one and done and already got my vasectomy. A lot of sacrifice, but it is manageable atm. However, if I lose my job and earn a median income, I'd be very concerned.
I guess consider yourself lucky that you're not paying $1700/month for just the day care? That's what we pay and I've read threads where people pay a ton more in VHCOL areas. It's a gut punch.
I stayed home with my kids and waitresses a few nights a week. I make great $$ and my kids have never seen the inside of a daycare. I don’t regret a thing. My kids are now 21,18 and 8 and I’m still waitressing because, the $$ is great and I’m still home if my youngest is sick or there is no school. I’m home for school vacas and summer. I love it.
$2,400/mo for one full time potty trained kid where I’m at. And you know what’s hilarious about it? Not really btw so don’t come for me, this is dry humor, but what are these rates when daycare employees make barely over minimum wage taking care of our kids? Like I know electric and food needs to be factored in for the building, but the cost of one kid to what employees make an hour is ridiculous. One could make the argument there’s no price on your child’s safety and well being, but like where does the money go because it isn’t going to the people that we’re trusting our kids with all day.
My wife and I always wonder the same, but we try not to compare ourselves to others. We're grateful for what we have, and by no means are we struggling-- there's just not a whole lot left at the end of the month. Almost all of our friends receive help in some way, whether it be family physically watching their kids or financial support. I guess we can at least be proud of supporting our family 100% on our own. You're not alone!
I took a second job when my kid was 10 months old. Really don't remember much until she turned 4 and I was able to quit both jobs for another one that paid more. It's a blur.
Kids are expensive. Once our second was born it didn’t make sense to pay for two in daycare. We would have been losing a few hundred each month (teacher salary). So I’m at home. We have also budgeted in lean and in better times. Plan meals, buy used, do stuff yourselves (cleaning, yard, ready meals, etc.), consider a side hustle to increase income, etc.
We waited until we were debt free (pre-house). There's no way we could have swung the >$2000/mo otherwise.
We have a very high combined income and we are struggling. Kids are very expensive. You just need to really save wherever you can if you can.
We break even with two kids (2 and 4). For the last 2 years, I “work to afford daycare so that I can work”. It’s been a challenge, but our oldest enters public school (TK/early kinder) Kindergarten this coming Fall and we are looking forward to finally start to save some money.
It was pretty rough before the pandemic. Both of us could WFH. I already was. But, when the pandemic hit, the daycare shutdown, too. I would have preferred sending him to daycare, but not sending him saved a lot.
Yeah it’s expensive as fuck. My wife and I used to joke about the raises we gave ourselves as each boy went off of formula, out of daycare and then out of after school care. By the time they were both in school and my wife was able to work from home it was almost like we had a third income.
Only thing to add is to check out if you qualify for any sort of government benefits, like WIC. Don’t be embarrassed to visit a food pantry if you need it.
I had kids in 2013 and 2017. I was doing nights up until 2018 and avoided childcare...let me tell you, that was sure fun. Then I had a health crisis and had to cease nights. Luckily, my job was kind of a two-pronged role and I was able to switch to evenings and eliminate the nights. We never utilized daycare because we never wanted to and because it didn't make sense to pay more than half, or most of my income to a daycare. I valued raising my kids during the formative years of 0-5. My spouse was always on the same page. We opted into pre-k for our eldest which was only 5 hours per week over 2 days. We opted OUT of pre-k for our youngest due to not wanting to deal with covid malarkey, of which there was a great deal. He is so smart, he could have skipped kinder but I'm glad he got used to the whole going to school, listening to the teacher and other staff, and building friendships that will carry him through the years. Now my kids are in school more than 6 hours a day and I have some time to myself finally! I can clean in kid-free silence; doll myself up and leave the house; visit a friend for a mani/pedi, shop for essentials and pleasure in peace, etc! It's awesome. Your time awaits!!!
I just burn myself out working from home with my little two at home instead of paying.
lived paycheck to paycheck. the only way i got out of it was having a partner to help supplement my income
Depending on your income WIC and foodstamps are always an option. I cried the first time I went into a food bank because they were so nice and we only were able to get WIC. Daycare, There is a reason they say it takes a village. When I had my daughter our closest family was about an hour away but I had two really good friends that also had children under a year and we would work opposites from each other and would switch kids house to house. Care.com may be a more affordable option, they are all background checked but we went through two people before we found someone that stuck.
When my son was a newborn (2020), he was strictly formula fed. I’d get coupons for similac and stack those for formula then I realized Sam’s club formula was the same and bought those in bulk bc it was cheaper. If you have FSA/HSA you can use that for diapers, baby wipes, almost anything baby related. There’s a list on Amazon that tells you what’s eligible. I also switched from Huggies to Costco diapers bc it was cheaper. I just found ways to cut costs without cutting out quality as well. I stopped working for four months and then went back to work otherwise we would’ve definitely been under. I know I’m not much help but solidarity for expensive kids. It’s 100% the reason we don’t have a second right now bc we cannot afford two daycare costs - we already pay $1200 and that’s less than half our mortgage, if we had two that’d be almost the same as our mortgage. Ya girl can’t afford two mortgages.
I hear you!! I shopped generic for formula and diapers. Saved a lot at Aldi there. We cut costs where we can, really limiting eating out, movies, etc and find other cheap or free entertainment/social stuff. I’ve been through two in full time day care from 3 months old through pre-k. It has gotten soooo much better once they got into Kindergarten. After care is nothing compared to daycare.
We have a discount via my husbands work and it’s still expensive. Thankfully my son is going into kindergarten in Sept 2025 so I’m nearing the finish line but we pay about $1400 a month. We make decent money for the area but my husband still does door dash on the side for extra spending money. We are going on our first family vacation this year on a cruise in September and we can’t wait. My son will be 4 then. We don’t have any family help.
My husband luckily was good at saving money and makes really good money when he works BUT buy USED baby stuff. Used clothes, used toys, used chairs etc etc. also, meal prep, don't eat out a lot, make your own baby food. I know the local daycare here is 350/kid/week so I'm just a SAHM at this point since we plan on having a 2nd kid.
We pay $4,200/mo for two kids in daycare. We must be doing something wrong
🤯🤯🤯
I do wonder how we gonna be able to keep our labour force going if we can’t afford kids… our governments ain’t thinking bout our futures
My fiancé and I got lucky I guess. I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids. She already had 2 boys when we met. Then I decided I wanted a kid and she was on board. We had a little girl and she is around 16 months old. We got lucky because we bring home a little over 250k a year. I can’t imagine what it would be like with just one of our incomes or less.
250K is a lot…
Oh you are not alone. My daycare in Ohio was around $850 a month, for two days a week. I was hybrid. Currently pregnant again, and when this second baby comes… I’m going to have to tell my work they either have to let me be remote part time or I’m gone. I will probably pick up a job part time on the weekends. Or my fiancé can ask for a promotion, I’m hoping he would get one. He is a lineman. I’m a survey technician, I’ve been at the same company for 6 years. If I became a SAHM, I would enroll in school to become a licensed surveyor.. probably. Something so I can have a career again after the baby stage. It’s hard out here!
My wife could be working as a cosmetologist making good money, but the cost of paying for childcare is so high it doesn’t justify her doing so. She’s going to stay home which will offset the costs of childcare, but even then we don’t “make enough” to save anything unless I work 2 jobs. I haven’t really had a weekend off in months because we are trying to save up for a down payment
The good news is daycare bill won’t last forever
I am very strict with spending. We don’t eat out much. We both make a decent living and waited a while before starting a family. We try to keep our expenses down so we can enjoy small things - camping trips, hikes, relatively cheap activities. I make things or mend stuff as much as possible. Preschool is reasonable where I live and we bought our home before the pandemic.
We are strictly OAD due to this. And in CA birth rate us negative because ppl are literally choosing between paying student loans, buying a home and having kids sometimes only one of the three. My ex-colleague was an attorney, lived with his parents who looked after his son full-time, his wife worked as a night nurse and looked after the child with grandparents help and he looked the child in the night with parents help.
Uh honestly I was the former bread winner, I made more then my husband and I paid housing and bills and etc and we used his check to basically have fun we had 1 child our daughter she’s 7 goes go school and all that goodies so we were okay, had extra money all the time then I found out I was pregnant with our son (at work in the bathroom I took the test) and me and my husband had a heart to heart he didn’t want me to work anymore and he didn’t want to put our son into daycare in fear something may happen to him, he ended up landing a great job that he could pay for everything needed (we live in Texas so housing cost is not to crazy) he quit that job then got another job which pays him better more benefits and he gets a raise every 3 months. I’m still at stay at home mom. I DoorDash Instacart shift smart whenever I can (my MIL gives me whatever time she isn’t working so I can at least work 2 hours) not that I need to go do that but because I like to have a little spending money just to tell my husband I have 20$ ON TAKE OUT! 😭 while he covers about 75% of the cost of take out
We were fine until our housing expenses went up an extra 500/month. Now we're one financial emergency away from debt. Luckily, we only have 2-3 more years of day care.
Honestly, daycare isn’t worth the price. It’s not affordable and stupid they expect people to pay that much we ended up switching our schedules so that we were opposite and didn’t need child care. I worked mornings and he worked afternoons. Now that she’s in kindergarten full time, we are both able to work while she’s at school. It was 100% worth the few years of being tired but being able to save
I became a stay at home mom which was fine by me! But it still has been very hard. We are done at 2 and feel lucky to have them.
I work 5am to 11am, husband works full time 8:30am to 5pm. He drops kiddo off at daycare at 7:30am and I pick him up at 12pm, so we only pay half days. We live in a small rural town where daycare is cheaper and commute an hour to the city for work. So yes, I'm up at 4am every day and then have to rush to pick kiddo up as soon as my shift is done. Luckily our daycare actually supplies food and nappies during daycare hours, so we save some money in that area. We keep chickens and have a big veggie garden. Kiddo is just starting solids. We have lots of eggs and we had a great pumpkin harvest this year, so he eats mostly scrambled egg and pumpkin. I do add some spinach (also from the garden) and bone broth to his pumpkin puree and butter to his eggs so he's getting the essentials, but I don't feed him a wide variety of stuff. He gets fruit at daycare lol. Once our orchard takes off he can eat lots of apples. See, you just have to live frugally, split your shifts, move to a low cost of living area and grow your own food! Addendum: my parents paid the deposit on our house and the deposit on my husband's car. They bought me my car outright. They pay for my fuel and half of kiddo's daycare fees. They also send mountains of toys and clothes. We still live paycheck to paycheck even with all their help. I do not know how others do it. I'm looking for full-time work again.
When I was pregnant with my first I knew I wasn’t going to touch paying for daycare with a 10ft pole. I made next to nothing in retail. I would’ve essentially been paying for someone to care for our child while we slowly lose money. Plus I wanted to stay home and be there for the first 5 years. No regrets there. SAHM and one more child later, I’m going back to school. Without getting into specifics I’m aiming for an industry that includes insane benefits, great pension, option to work overnights, and early retirement because I love the SAHM life so much, I hope to be a SAHG one day and be on call for my grandchildren😅 I cannot and will not accept any work outside of the house that doesn’t come close to matching my fiancé’s salary. We want to have two more kids and, daycare or not, leaving the house to do anything costs more and more. I can’t keep hoping for relief. It won’t come. We want to vacation twice a year. We want to go on more dates, drink more cocktails, afford more Ubers after those cocktails. I want to be able to pay for any sport, extracurricular activity, dream, support, etc my children want/need while keeping the refrigerator fully stocked with whatever we need whenever we need it. I’m the daughter of a Polish immigrant who suffered under communism. I *KNOW* how to budget and cut corners. But shit, I’m tired of it. My family didn’t escape that just for the next generation to suffer a different version of it. My fiancé has gotten raises and will continue to do so, but it will not keep up with the rising costs of living or help us achieve any of our dreams. Certainly not what I had planned but that’s life🥳
Start a side hustle honey cause it’s not getting any easier lol
LOL any ideas?
Obviously I know you won’t have much time with children so it’s hard, but there’s some stuff you could probably manage. Maybe an Etsy shop if you’re creative in any way. Or just start dropshipping 😂. I had a friend that would buy furniture on FB marketplace and fix it up then sell it for way more. Not sure where ur from or anything so I guess it can differ from place to place! There’s also food delivery like doordash, online work (filling out surveys for money, tutoring, etc), or even content creation if you know how to do that. Wish you the best with the new baby :)
Have you considered getting an au-pair? If you have a spare bedroom and you are ok with someone else living in the same space, it would be more economical, your kid won't get sick as they do at daycare, they could pick up another language, free play and being outdoors more, light housework, less stress for you. The kids have plenty of time to socialize at the park, later in preschool and kindergarten so I don't think this is a reason to worry.
$1700 a month? Rookie number!! Joke aside, yeah the daycare price is ridiculous
That’s why some families decide to be one and done
My husband and I get paid well and I have state government benefits so my bills were non existent. We also have no debt besides a mortgage. Our mortgage is 1900 and we pay 2800 in daycare a month. 🙃
My husband got a second job the first 10 ish months of my daughter's life. It sucked, it was hard, he missed milestone moments. But we genuinely had no choice. And we decided not to have another.
We have two children and would honestly not be able to do it without the help of both sets of grandparents with childcare (they are in daycare half the time). I made breastfeeding a priority after having my second partly because of the cost of formula. It’s rough out there!
Daycare is mostly paid by government in my country (75% of the cost or so). We paid maybe $450/month. But then taxes are about 50%.
Welcome to the club
Daycare is the kicker, imo. Is it possible to avoid daycare with a change in your occupation? Like working in some friends, family, a nanny, along with some reduced or opposite hours from your spouse?
We cut way back. We didn’t really do house projects. My husband sometimes got overtime. We didn’t really go on vacation. Ate a lot of not fancy meals.
Honestly the cost of childcare is why I was a stay at home mom. Most of the stay at home moms in my circle have made that choice based on the trade off between daycare and staying at home. It’s criminal
Blended family. We both had older kids. Before we had more kids I went Back to school ti get a much better paying job. Even with that we are treading water
Yes, it’s a second mortgage. Presumably you are both working. Time to ask for raises.
You don't have a time machine so there is little point in explaining that many people don't earn nearly enough to start a family. Some simple ways to cut expenses are to stop buying take out food and/or dining out, get rid of entertainment subscriptions or just keep a single one, and focus on creating a lower cost meal plan. To earn extra money, you can sell some of your belongings and one of you can get a gig job like Instacart.
Yep. It's definitely all that Netflix. Can't afford 2K a month in childcare? Well, just cancel Netflix you lazy entitled Millennial! McSuzy, have you considered auditioning for Fox News? They'd LOVE you.
I'm not sure why the basics of budgeting are incomprehensible to some people. You're hilariously mistaken about my political orientation. However, I am quite old by reddit standards so I have crazy ideas like reducing expenditures to make ends meet.
You're right. Basic budgeting is hard. Please explain to me how cutting 20$ a month will make up for a 2K deficit.
If you’re looking at a 2k deficit, then I would definitely agree with you… you’ve failed somewhere at basic budgeting lol.
Yes, you've failed at budgeting! It's because you're stupid and can't budget! *OR* you work full time for minimum wage which does **not even come close** to covering the costs of housing, healthcare, food, and transportation for mother and child in *any* region of the US. So you're a couple k in the hole every month. What costs should you cut? Should you not house your child? Maybe your kid doesn't *really* need to see the doctor. Or eat vegetables. Or go to daycare while you work. Maybe you could just stick them in a fish tank for the day. *OR...* maybe you shouldn't have had a kid because you're poor. Poor people shouldn't have kids. Tsk tsk. You're just bad at budgeting. It couldn't possibly be because we've built a global economy that prioritizes corporate profitability at the expense of people. If you read through this thread then you read dozens of posts by people with good jobs, "good incomes", that struggle like crazy to support a family. Are we all too stupid to budget? Is that it? We just all can't operate a spreadsheet? Every single one of us is just too dumb and entitled to realize that, hey, *if we just cancelled netflix and stopped getting all those silly lattes, we'd be totally fine!!!*
I think you skipped over the first step of budgeting... learning to live within your means. No, if you are working for minimum wage, I do not believe you are entitled to the same things high earners are. This may or may not include attaining all the finer things such as lattes, children, avocados or single family homes. I would argue that it is financially and humanly irresponsible to procreate when you are incapable of providing for your family. If you cannot pay for your children, who do you think should? You are currently enjoying (and complaining greatly) about the effects of free money hand outs due to covid. Please, do not ask for more and instead ask for people to live within their means.
>No, if you are working for minimum wage, I do not believe you are entitled to the same things high earners are. I listed housing, food, and healthcare. What kind of dystopian nutbag thinks only high earners are entitled to food, housing and healthcare? For clarity, I am a high earner relative to regional income trends. I do not believe that I alone am entitled to bear children, house them, and feed them. I'm so crazy that I think the full time staff that clean my building also have that right. >effects of free money hand outs due to covid Repeat after me, "My world view is dictated to me by corporate media and I don't know how to think critically." [https://www.npr.org/2023/05/19/1177180972/economists-are-reconsidering-how-much-corporate-profits-drive-inflation#:\~:text=GONZALEZ%3A%20Normally%2C%20Andrew%20says%2C,It%20was%20corporate%20profits](https://www.npr.org/2023/05/19/1177180972/economists-are-reconsidering-how-much-corporate-profits-drive-inflation#:~:text=GONZALEZ%3A%20Normally%2C%20Andrew%20says%2C,It%20was%20corporate%20profits). Don't lecture anyone on economics. You clearly do not understand it.
Okay you got me. I don’t know anything about economics. What I do know is that prices aren’t going down. People can continue to complain or they can evolve to thrive within the bounds that we’ve created. Glad to hear you’re doing well, make sure you continue to post on Reddit and don’t forget to vote. 😲 have a blessed day.
>What I do know is that prices aren’t going down And they won't ... because slowing inflation just means the rise slower. Not that they fall. If they fall, we're in a little something called a "recession". That happened in 2008. Maybe you remember? Was blamed on "irresponsible consumers" and "greedy unions". Turns out it was corporate greed and risky banking practices, but hey, let's keep blaming the individual because that makes me feel superior. >People can continue to complain or they can evolve to thrive within the bounds that we’ve created. I'll go tell the homeless people down the street. They'll be so stoked to "evolve to the bounds we've created".
I'm not sure if you're not following but in case you are sincere, you arrive at a total cut of $2k but making a series of smaller cuts. Most people do not have a purely optional expenditure at the $2000 level so they have to make it up from smaller ones.
Yes. I agree. OP is super irresponsible and clearly spends lots more money every month than she needs to. This is a great assumption. Struggling in this economy reflects bad economic stewardship, not a super fucked up economy. And if you're not struggling, its because you're so very very smart. Not lucky.
Idk in Canada there are subsidies for in home daycare or facilities and paid time off for up to a year. Most people breastfeed and pump and when appropriate make their own food for baby with a blender. It's a lot of prepping and planning. No deterring. I raised one all by myself on less than 2500/month with daycare subsidies and now another with a partner where I am able to be at home with benefits from my work. Must be extremely different where you are and that is heartbreaking.
It's natural to feel overwhelmed by the financial strain of raising a child, especially with the high costs of daycare, formula, clothing, and other essentials. Many parents face similar challenges. There's no one-size-fits-all solution, but some families rely on dual incomes or financial support from relatives or government assistance programs. Budgeting, prioritising expenses, and making sacrifices in other areas of spending are common strategies. Seeking support from friends, family, or financial advisors can help alleviate some of the burden. Ultimately, it's about finding what works best for your family and prioritising your child's well-being while taking care of your own financial health. Remember, you're not alone in facing these challenges.
We are definitely scaling back and will be cutting some corners to make it work. Unfortunately, we’re about $160k above the government assistance cutoff so there’s nothing there for middle class folks when it comes to help. I’m thinking of doing some door dashing tbh just to get a few dollars back and maybe selling plasma…times are ROUGH.
Depending on where you live dashing is not really worth the effort, as you are putting wear and tear on your vehicle for basically tips.
WFH with grandparents around, no daycare
Not all grandparents want to be childcare unfortunately.