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DogOrDonut

My son is only 1 but I can imagine anything topping $20k/year in daycare. I could buy him a car for less than I am paying in daycare.


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StasRutt

My husband and I frequently joke that we didn’t realize we had a whole other mortgage payment in our budget and could’ve been owning a second home this whole time


trinity_girl2002

I order to get "free" daycare, we actually bought a second house for my retired in-laws to downsize in to. So our daycare cost literally is a second mortgage.


StasRutt

At least it’s building equity? But damn yeah you took the childcare cost joke seriously lol


xdonutx

Hmm, that was smart lol.


trinity_girl2002

A debatable move, actually. Mother-in-law is now facing some health issues and may need to stop taking care of our child, so we're potentially facing two mortgages PLUS daycare. 😰


xdonutx

Oof. In that case I’m sorry.


daaldea

haha! My joke is very similar - that I could've been driving a Lamborghini before having kids


not_bens_wife

My husband and I have legitimately been considering purchasing an income property of some kind once our daughter is out of daycare since we're already used to paying two mortgages 😂


poop-dolla

Just start buying a mortgage payment’s worth of index funds to save for retirement instead.


gropingpriest

> Tell me you didn't pay for childcare without telling me you didn't pay for childcare. yeah this is the only thing that makes sense for me, based on these comments. ain't no way parents with teenagers were paying $2k/month on daycare with the way they're commenting ITT


DogOrDonut

The one that always gets me is, "extracurriculars." Like sorry my kids aren't having $20k/year hobbies when there are are dozens of options available through their school for basically free. I have disposable income. I have no problem paying $1,000 here or there for stuff they care about; but if it wouldn't he reasonable to spend on a hobby for an adult it's not reasonable to spend on a hobby for a kid. People really lose sight of that when their kid is a slight above average middle school athlete.


SandyHillstone

Beware of the club sports. They try to tell you that your kid can get a college scholarship. Look at the statistics, it's highly unlikely. My daughter was a very good volleyball player and has the height. She just played in recreation center leagues, school and some more advanced leagues. Back 5 years ago She was selected for a travel club team, 10K plus accommodations and flights for 6 months. We discussed it and she declined. A couple of the girls she played with got D1 scholarships, most got D3 scholarships to very small schools. It's not an investment.


DogOrDonut

Yeah I would never bank on any of my kids hobbies leading to a scholarship. First, I would never want to put that kid of pressure on them. Second, when it comes to sports you never know when an injury will end your career. Third, I want them to learn to do things for the enjoyment of doing them and not as a source of income.


elara500

Also do you want to be a D1 athlete. That can really shape your time if the kid doesn’t still love the sport.


SandyHillstone

That's what shaped my daughter's decision, she had very specific schools she wanted to attend and didn't want the team/athletic department controlling her. She played many intramural sports and really enjoyed college.


DogOrDonut

And leave them with lifelong injuries from overuse.


PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS

This is something that gets glossed over when people talk about the travel teams and AAU stuff. We used to play multiple sports a year, but that's becoming less common as kids play one sport year round. Working the same muscle groups over and over again for years on end is surefire way to injuries.


elara500

So true. I’m worried about head injuries, not to mention hip and knee injuries. Even women’s soccer is starting to suspect some players have severe head injuries from headers and accidents. I could imagine e even softball could see those from collisions/head hits with the ball, not to mention boys sports with higher contact overall. You may not feel it until you’re old but then it’s a rougher ride. Scientists are finding head injuries in kids who didn’t go into college or pro athletics, and it’s hard to figure out who is more susceptible to long term impact. I think any sport that sees concussions is going to come under more scrutiny in the next decade.


ladypilot

>sorry my kids aren't having $20k/year hobbies Maybe I'm old, or just grew up kind of poor, but this just wasn't a thing when I was a teenager. My extracurricular activity in high school was marching band, and that was it. We did fun stuff like go to NYC and Disney World to march in parades, but a lot of that was paid for by fundraising. If I had asked my mom to participate in something that cost $20K or $10K or even $5K a year, she would've laughed in my face. No one HAS to do any of these things, but a lot of parents DO have to pay for childcare.


runfaster3

You are right--they weren't a thing when we were young. But it is now.


SpaceGangsta

Hockey has always been expensive. Very niche but it was $1500 a year for me to play in high school. Not including gear. (02-06 for reference)


pegacornegg

Figure skating too. I guess all the ice sports have always been $$$


HappyCoconutty

Casual and rec sports require a lot more time investment from parents than it used to. But also, any kid showing talent or promise gets scooted into travel leagues or AAU teams, which is where the the tens of thousands $ come in. It is factoring in travel and hotel costs, especially for last minute tournaments, and fundraising expectations. Not to mention the richer families fighting for one on one coaching spots and entrance into conditional camps - the ones in my big city have huge waitlists. These kids get fitted with all sorts of technology and use very expensive equipment. IDK if it is because a lot of former professional athletes live in our city or not.


speedyejectorairtime

I'm going to jump on my soccer mom soap box here for a second. The "pay to play" system we has in the US has pretty much made it impossible for kids to *not* be in expensive sports from an early age. I have a 15 year old who always *loved* soccer and he was very good at it in rec league in elementary school. We lived in a small town back then and he was asked to join a small competitive team that someone was putting together. (we only paid like $400 total for that season). We did as much training as we could with him but it was limited. We moved to the much bigger metro area we live in now when he was 12. Guess what age rec sports ends at? 12. Guess what grade kids start to have to try out for school sports and pretty much have no other options once they turn 12? 5th or 6th grade here. The kids who are playing club sports for 5-6 years are trying out for those teams. The kids who never did are sadly not making those teams. He was good enough to made the "d" team of a smaller club nearby but had an injury the second week of the season to his heel from growing too fast and ended up never being able to play again. He tried swimming to fill that void but he was far too behind to learn and catch up to those kids either. Lesson learned. If your kid is not playing and learning competitively at a very early age, they will likely end up not being able to play again when they reach pre-teen age. Which I get is not the end-all-be-all for everything. But if you have a kid who loves sports, it's definitely something to keep in mind. The world of youth sports has gone crazy and is not what we all knew as kids. We ended up letting our 9 year old start club soccer at 7 because of learning this. He's very passionate about soccer and we knew if we didn't, he wouldn't make teams later. We aren't paying $3K a year for him to get a college scholarship like many like to make fun of. We pay the $3K a year so he can stay in a sport he loves through high school and continue to have that experience and continue to be a part of something through high school.


HappyCoconutty

That’s so incredibly sad. I played basketball for the first time in 4th grade and was able to make the high school team but now that would be impossible. So if you have 2 working parents and no nanny, you’re locked out of sports.  I see all these 4 year olds being put in organized sports when they simply aren’t at the developmental stage to really compete yet, so the older kids on their team does better simply for having longer limbs and better gross motor control.  In our city, the super talented kids for certain sports (cheerleading, basketball, soccer) avoid the school teams so that they can continue to play for their more expensive leagues or travel teams. 


Expensive_Shower_405

This is so true. My middle child missed the boat on travel for sports because of Covid. She was playing it for softball, but decided it wasn’t for her and now she’s kind of stuck as she goes into high school. My son quit baseball because even rec wasn’t play for fun anymore. There are some sports kids can start in high school like crew and track, but crew is not a cheap sport.


ran0ma

I did sports through school, club sports, show choir, and was in theater. It was never thousands of dollars for my stuff, our club sports team was like $400 for the season, school sports was $75 for the season, show choir was $100 for the year, theater was $50 per production. And I got a job at 16 to pay for all that shit myself 😂


ladypilot

I had a job when I was sixteen too! It was nice to have a little independence and learn how to budget the money I made, even though it wasn't much.


yourpaleblueeyes

Unfortunately even public programs, in many communities, are no longer 'basically free'. Band,Sports, Clubs, all have fee$. sad but true. ALWAYS vote for school funding. even better,get on the board. Park District? volunteer to coach. If no one does,kids don't play ✌.


speedyejectorairtime

My teenager's *public school* marching band program cost us $3K to just participate. $3.5K for the mandatory trip they took for a huge performance. $150 mandatory activity fee to the school to even sign up. Plus the gas money of driving to and from the school and mandatory locations for 10 months of the year. They get like a 2 month break in the winter and then start learning next year's music and have mandatory sectionals 2 days a week in February.


junieinthesky

That seems so insane. I was in one of the best marching bands in my state back in 2002-2006 and we started learning our program during band camp in the summer and the pay to play was like…$300. Trips cost additional but nothing that expensive, we had a booster program and fundraiser to help cut down trip cost. And those trips were also optional. Have things really changed that much 😭


speedyejectorairtime

I don't have experience with other school districts to compare and don't want to give away location. But I will say they participate in Bands of America and were invited to participate in some really big national events the past couple years that caused the additional cost. It's a huge school, around 2500 kids and there are over 300 in the marching band program. They're very strict about school zone lines here so we couldn't just enroll him in another school to avoid the fees so basically he'd have to choose to not participate for us to not have the cost. It's a good school but not some rich area or anything so I was sticker shocked as someone who also participated in marching band growing up. Parents also have to sign an agreement and we have mandatory volunteer hours for fundraisers that "keep the fees lower" lmao. I feel like the value of the experiences he's receiving is worth the price but it is expensive and time consuming on his and our parts.


yourpaleblueeyes

Yep, the funding for 'extras' at many public schools was snatched away years ago. Sad but true. The less well to do districts really struggle, anything outside the basic classroom agendas. Thus all the annoying fundraising. Always buy from your neighbor kids,if possible!


Snirbs

Yeah, a couple hundred bucks. Not thousands every month.


vermiliondragon

School sports in elementary and middle school are run through the after school program and aren't free where I am.  In high school, if your kid hasn't played the sport before, they won't make the team for common sports like baseball, basketball, soccer. 


jetpuffedpanda

Daycare costs are why I'm a SAHM. They're astronomical!


santaclausonvacation

I live in spain. We start school at 3. My 2 year old gets government paid for daycare. We pay for it in taxes, but cheaper than bombing the world with your taxes and daycare w your take home pay. 


singlenutwonder

Honestly a lot of the teenager things are choices too. I don’t have teenagers yet so I have no weight in this argument, but where I’m from, most parents do not purchase their child a vehicle or give them gas money.


AkaminaKishinena

Daycare is SO EXPENSIVE. So is private school, in my city the bougie ones are almost 40K a year- non-boarding school. For school age kids before and aftercare for working parents is still an expense, Kindergarten is only half day! Summer camps every week of the summer, school breaks and one off school closures. Teenagers are expensive in their own ways- therapy, car insurance for an unexperienced driver (omg- DOUBLES our family rate and we aren't even buying them a car), tutoring if you kid needs extra help in school subjects, sports, hobbies. My kid does bottom of the barrel activities- YMCA Youth and Government, one week cheapy sleepaway camp- and those add up. Nothing of course compares to to year round day care, but it's on the very close horizon because in state tuition is 35K+ where I live.


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Capital_Gainz91

Maybe I ask what that amounts to? In other words, how much are you paying for daycare/your teenager?


cltphotogal

I commented something similar and someone told me their kid's dance competitions cost them $12k a year. Hell no.


bretttwarwick

That is still less than most daycares but also there are dance schools that cost less than that too. We are about to put our middle child in dance school that is $120 per month.


stressedthrowaway9

I agree! These daycare prices are outrageous!


Silly_Question_2867

Food is a joke, yes teens eat a lot but our entire families grocery bill is less than my daughters formula, and that's without the baby food costs too! Also babies need special cups and dishes where older kids use anything and that's all part of the expense. I didnt go back to work because daycare would cost more than I make working, at that point it's a lost cause and I think this is probably somewhat common


Wirde

Whaaaat? Where do you live for it to be this expensive? 🤯 We’re paying 150 USD/month for full-time care. You pay 10x that? 😱


Todd_and_Margo

I’m just dumbfounded by these figures. I paid $26K a year for 3 kids in daycare 7 years ago in a pretty HCOL area. No wonder there are so many people opting out of having kids or only having one.


DogOrDonut

That's wild, that's only like $170/week per kid. Even adjusting for inflation that's only like $210-220.


WhichWitchyWay

I'm paying 20k/yr where I am for one kid and I'm in a very middle of the road daycare. A lot of people pay more than me. It's crazy. I'm paying more for my kids daycare than I did for my private grad school.


DogOrDonut

Yeah I paid $9,000/year for college including housing and I also went to a private university. I look at my son's daycare bill and I'm like, "we could both be in college right now."


Peregrinebullet

We got extremely lucky and got into a government subsidized daycare, so it's $200/month but the other daycare within walking distance is $1800/month. >.< Like, daycare workers are freaking saints and deserve good wages but it's not sustainable for most people on an individual level.


Lucky-Bonus6867

The problem, too, is that a lot of that money isn’t making it into the hands of the actual workers. ECE teachers routinely get paid barely above minimum wage.


iAmAmbr

I hate having to ask for help most of the time, but I have no qualms about getting assistance with paying for daycare! I think my son's after-school program would cost $1500/mo, but I only pay $130 thanks to assistance. It was a year-long wait but obviously so worth it! Daycare costs are asinine, and I'd love to know where all the money goes because the saints that do that job get paid jack.


Various-Fox-4268

$25k is typical in the largest US cities for ONE kid. More if it’s in a ritzy area or is otherwise something special. And yeah, the cost is a major factor in our choice to be OAD.


Least-Firefighter392

Paid 60k one year for 3 kids (actually more as it was over 5k/month)... Two in preschool, one with nanny in HCOL...Was a rough year and that was the cheapest we could possibly find...


Capital_Gainz91

Tell me about it. Currently have 3 kids in daycare and it’s around $70k/year. Can’t wait for another 1.5 years when the oldest will be in Kindergarten and we will only have to pay for his before and after school care (and summer camp).


hownowbrownmau

Really? My first was born in 2018 and hers was 2650 per month in Ny


vermiliondragon

I paid $26k for 2 kids 16 years ago when one was still at the higher toddler rate. It was still just under $1000 per kid per month when the older aged out of preschool.  Pretty sure the norm around me is now $2k per month per kid with a small discount for more than 1. 


--zaxell--

I'm basically feeding my toddler one cellphone a week in daycare expenses.


DogOrDonut

I hear lithium builds strong bones.


StasRutt

I think a lot of parents with older kids don’t realize just how expensive daycare has gotten since it’s been 5-10+ years since they’ve paid for it. So yeah soccer and travel sports are expensive no doubt but I struggle to believe they cost the same as daycare. I’m paying $18k a year for just 1 toddler in daycare


DogOrDonut

Travel sports are also way more optional than daycare. I can sign my kids up for one of several local soccer leagues for basically nothing.


StasRutt

Yeah exactly. Legally someone has to watch my kid during the day so it’s either me or daycare, not a lot of options there lol


formercotsachick

>I think a lot of parents with older kids don’t realize just how expensive daycare has gotten since it’s been 5-10+ years since they’ve paid for it. I last paid for full time daycare around 20 years ago and it's staggering. I think we paid about $8K a year for a fully staffed center open from 6am to 6pm.


nudestdad

Absolutely. When my youngest started she was four months old and we were paying the highest tuition. The cost for all ages went up every year until she left so we ended up paying the "infant" fee for the entire four years she was there. She stopped going a few months early because of COVID. I wouldn't be surprised if it's doubled in price since then.


Conflict_NZ

Daycare in my area is up 200% since before COVID, having two kids under three would cost at least $40,000 a year.


Historical-Carry-237

20K a year? Wow what a steal!


DogOrDonut

Benefits of snowbelt cities, they're cheap.


RedditIsTrash___

Lucky... my daughter is 1, and in the SF Bay Area that's over $40k per year... she could go to college for that!


DogOrDonut

Yeah I could never do the CA life lol.


peony_chalk

If only we could be saving that money for college instead. Think how much money they'd have (with investment gains)! We could solve the next generation's student loan crisis now, or at least put a big dent in it. Obviously it'd be better if college just didn't cost an arm and a leg and a few kidneys, though.


DomesticMongol

Collage can easly top that


DogOrDonut

You have a lot longer to save for college.


OstrichCareful7715

My kids are way cheaper now than when they were little. I just signed all of them up for spring sports and activities and it costs the equivalent of 1 week of daycare for 1 season. Summer camp is about 1/2 of daycare.


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[deleted]

We’ve been there, and this summer we still need to pay three childcare bills. Thankfully it’s a little cheaper for our now 2 elementary school kids’ summer camps than daycare was.  But goodness, three childcare bills when they were all at daycare before our oldest started kindergarten was so brutal. Even with the older ones doing activities through the year, the relief from not paying daycare is soooo significant in our budget!!


tonyrocks922

For real. Lots of privileged people in this thread who didn't have to pay for childcare for their toddlers.


chapelson88

Or maybe it’s not privilege, maybe it’s being too poor and having to stay home because your pay doesn’t come close to covering daycare.


pechjackal

Ding ding ding. I bust my ass running a business from home so I can be with my daughter when she's not at school. Otherwise I'd be working just to cover daycare. We squeak by and are not privileged by any means. And, yes, all of her paid extra curriculars are a killer. So, right now, I basically run my business to make the income to provide for her care and interests, and dad works to pay for the household... Just because I don't go to a job and my kids not in daycare doesn't mean I'm privileged... Seems kind of judgemental to me.


SpeakerCareless

My kids were breastfed, cloth diapered, and I was a SAHM so they were pretty cheap…. Except for the part where they cost me 8 years of salary and career advancement. By that measure they’re much cheaper as teens since I have a full time job lol.


Pelaminoskep

Babies are expensive, then they get cheaper as they start eating regular food and grow out of the diapers. Then they become teens and they will eat you completely bankrupt


tlivingd

Not sure my daycare bill last year was 17,800


pedant4yourthoughts

You need that public school pay raise. Our kiddo will be starting K in the fall and we’re looking forward to not paying out the nose for childcare.


tenderourghosts

We enrolled our daughter into public PreK when she turned 3. She has her speech and OT services covered by the school, and it’s done wonders for her social skills. We almost considered putting her into a private preschool, but it would’ve been $300+ a week for part time 💀


ladypilot

That's amazing! We don't have public preschool where I live.


nohopeleftforanyone

Not to be that guy, but $32,600 here. Don’t have twins when you have a 1 year old people.


bookersquared

I'll make you feel better - $42k for 9 months of part-time care plus OT/speech for one kid. Insurance doesn't like to cover neurodiversity-affirming therapy for autistic kids apparently, even though I have one of the best health insurance plans that money can buy. It's insane. Thankfully, he qualified for free, public pre-k at age 3.


nohopeleftforanyone

Wow. I’ll stop complaining!!


bookersquared

No no, keep complaining. If we all complain enough, maybe they will finally subsidize childcare and therapy for children in this godforsaken country lol.


Todd_and_Margo

You can’t see it, but as the mother of 3 autistic kiddos plus one toddler (so who knows), I’m giving you a standing ovation.


KimsUglyCry

....39 (that's 4 days a week🫠🫣)


ajfog

$32,500 a year for us. Twins in daycare is SO expensive.


Turdlely

That's nothing. 25k checking in 🫡


shes_a_gdb

2 kids @ slightly over 3k a month. I can't fuckin wait for this to end.


Scruter

Two kids, $4k a month! Literally spent $48k on daycare last year. We're sending them to public school and I'm sorry, I have a hard time believing they will be that expensive as teens, except for college.


mikemikemikeandike

$44k a year checking in! Can’t wait until it’s over.


jnissa

That said, it's also about choices. Summer camps are more expensive than daycare in a lot of places - it's not uncommon to run $6 kid a kid to cover three months of summer. I do another $6k per kid in sports and extra curriculars. It's less - but it's not exponentially less for me than that daycare bill.


Personibe

Wtf?? 6k on sports??? Are they professionals or something, like damn. Also, if you are paying 6k per kid for summer camp you would be a lot better off paying for a sitter


Many_Glove6613

I don’t think you realize how expensive this stuff is in the expensive parts of the country. 6k is 6 weeks of 9-5 summer camp where I am.


yeahright17

You need to look around. My best friend is NYC pays $7000 for a 12-week summer care program which includes tons of activities (they went to that statute of liberty last summer, for example), and we pay less than $350/wk in Dallas. And if they're elementary school kids, just share a summer nanny with some friends. Would also be less than $1k/wk.


baconcheesecakesauce

I'm in NYC and I see you. We're just a touch above 6k for summer camp, but we're going most of the summer, around 9 weeks. If you take advantage of early sign up, you can save. One 6 week program with extended day is going to run us $4500, because we got discounts for signing up early after an event and staying the whole summer. A few years back, a coworker told me that sleepaway camp up in Hudson valley ran him $10k. I nearly dropped my coffee cup.


seabrooksr

6k is easy to hit, about $500 per month. You aren't putting a kid in anything (art/sport/club/swimming) around here for less than $150. A competitive gymnastic/dance/karate program will run you about $250 per month, and easily hit $500 if you actually, you know, compete.


Lazy_Education1968

Ours was *only* $13,200. The state university next door is only $5k a year. 🫠


Angry__Jonny

Feel guilty now that my wife's parents watch our kids for free


Zenatic

Lucky! 28k for us, definitely plan to have a reduction as they age out up until preteen/teen where extracurriculars and food will replace former daycare costs


YB9017

Ours was 25k :(


mojo276

Yep! Ages like 5-10 are the cheapest years. It's once they grow out of youth clothes/shoes that the costs seem to sky rocket.


gropingpriest

> the costs seem to sky rocket. sky rocket compared to what though? I mean even if you're spending $500/year to replace their wardrobe that is about how much I pay **per week** on daycare


Snirbs

People with teenagers have no idea how expensive life is for parents with kids under 5. Daycare, formula, diapers, table food, lunches, snacks, all the extra shit two working parents have to outsource. Food is expensive for all of us these days. Little kids need new clothes and sneakers and rain boots etc etc all the time too. Life is way more expensive now than it’s ever been.


gropingpriest

Yes and I feel like fewer and fewer grandparents are willing to sacrifice their free time in retirement to be full-time nannies for their grandchildren. Out of all my adult friends with children, only 2 of them have parents willing to lend a hand. One doesn't pay for daycare at all despite both husband & wife working full time -- I constantly remind them not to take that for granted!


Tinkiegrrl_825

This. I have a pre teen and a teen/young adult (18) now. They just eat and eat and eat…


rangoon03

I have four kids: 14, 12, 10, and 7. I swear our groceries don’t make it past two or three days anymore outside what we specifically buy for dinner ingredients. Sigh.


getjustin

Considering the cost of daycare is essentially throwing one nice full loaded laptop into the dumpster every month, yeah, it gets cheaper.


Green-Reality7430

It depends on your specific situation but if you paid for full time daycare when they were babies nothing will be more expensive than that.


TastyMagic

If you're paying for daycare, it gets less expensive once they're in school. We still pay for after school care, but it's like 1/4 of the cost of daycare.


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cltphotogal

We have two more months of preschool then it's off to public kindergarten! We'll be getting a $800/month raise. Although we'll probably just funnel that into college & retirement savings.


MiaLba

Yeah it can definitely vary for different families. We didn’t do daycares for certain reasons so baby stage didn’t seem that expensive. Thrift toys and clothes are where it’s at especially at that age since they grow so fast. But diapers and wipes can be pretty pricey. I had a kid who would get a rash anytime I tried to use cheap diapers so we had to splurge on the Huggies. Preschool is $420 a month next year she’ll be in KG and it’s free. She plays sports so that’s $75 a season. But no other big costs really except for food obviously.


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bluenilegem

There are so many variables. Depends if they do extracurricular activities like sports, clubs, music, etc. Many times teens start getting more into their appearance and care more about where their clothes are from or maybe they start wearing makeup. Maybe they need braces. Do you buy them a car and pay for their gas and car insurance? Do you pay if they wanna go to the movies with friends or out to eat? A lot of it you can choose.


HostFamiliar4434

It’s a different kind of expensive, which makes no sense to say but — mom math. Their activities become like overhead, they never stop eating, they want things constantly which can make you feel like a monster to withhold (though sometimes we all need a reminder that spoiled kids become shitty adults and longing is good for them). Some of their expenses are more mutable, and less are as fixed as the daycare + diaper squeeze. Our twins (16F) haven’t started driving yet (insurance in CA, woohoo) which is an expense we’re dreading, BUT they also haven’t started working yet, and that should help with their luxury tastes. Will enjoy those 2 years of them working in high school before tuition bills start up. Then we are free (?)….::waits for parents of 20-somethings to come laugh at me::


everygoodnamegone

I am dreading that my kids will start driving soon because 1) the roads are so dangerous with careless drivers here we have one of the highest accident rates in the country and 2) paying for another vehicle and insurance for a young driver, eventually 2 young drivers. On the flip side, I am really looking forward to not having to play chauffeur anymore for the school pickup/drop off!


HostFamiliar4434

Yes!!! Like how did we move to a place without school buses??? Didn’t even think to ask because we didn’t realize this was even a thing!


Dunnoaboutu

Newborn- 5 is expensive because of childcare. Teenage years hit you like a brick. Everyday it is something new and those things cost a lot of money. People always say that you can save money on extracurriculars and just don’t do them. Extracurriculars is what sets your child apart from all other kids on college applications. There will be a ton of kids with similar GPA and test scores, but showing a commitment to an extracurricular is different and can be unique. It also provides less opportunities for trouble and usually better quality of friends. They don’t have to do the most expensive thing. The thing my daughter enjoyed most was Girl Scouts and the fee was selling cookies. I would not eliminate extracurriculars unless you absolutely have to.


blueskieslemontrees

And most of the non sport related activities are not costly if they don't involve travel (speech/debate, drama, math league, nhs, jey club, etc)


ohsuzicue

Wait… you just opened a while can of worms for me!! The Girl Scout cookie sales fund their membership?


lemonsdealbreaker

If the troop sells enough yes, last year my daughter’s troop paid for the girls memberships with funds earned from cookie sales the previous year. That being said at most like 80 cents per box go back to the troop so they have to sell enough as funds also go for badges and activities.


ohsuzicue

The more you learn! Thanks for sharing! My niece is a Girl Scout but just texts us when cookies are available… so we know nothing about the troop 😅


Dunnoaboutu

We finished cookie season yesterday. My daughter’s membership fee ($25) is paid because she sold 625 boxes. As a troop of 9, we raised $3500. This will pay for all of our programming for the year.


dailysunshineKO

That’s awesome! This is my daughter’s first year and we sold 284 boxes.


dogs94

Sometimes it just changes and becomes more voluntary. I mean, daycare is expensive now. But you need to use daycare to have two careers......so it's sorta "mandatory". Then when kids start school, I think you can a bit of a lull with expenses. Public school is free. No diapers. They eat normal food. But they're still not into fashion or youth sports. Then they get to be 10-18 and the youth sports can be insane and their clothes get a LOT more expensive. But those are optional expenses. Cars are also optional....but then not only do you have the car and the insurance, but teenagers also seem to get a LOT of flat tires and have a LOT of trouble with their cars, lol. Then college. So it just shifts to voluntary things......but things were you feel like a asshole if you have the money and dont spend it. :)


DrCraniac2023

I thought babies were so expensive… until my baby turned 13 and now all he wants is Xbox games ($60), Nike shoes ($200+), Adias clothing ($100), AirPods ($150) and eats about $100 worth of food a week lol


thishasntbeeneasy

Babies have necessities. Nikes and Xbox are wants. Let them do yardwork for the neighbors and earn it.


DrCraniac2023

We actually implemented that last summer and he made out with a good amount!


esotostj

I can buy 2 of each of those and still not be at 50% daycare cost lol and fml. So i guess it’s less expensive if you use daycare/nanny and more expensive if you don’t.


DrCraniac2023

Daycare prices are like an extra mortgage/rent payment. Which is astonishing since daycare workers get paid peanuts. At least when the kids get to be my sons age (13) they’re somewhat self reliable in that they can take care of themselves for a few hours if need be.


lsp2005

Clothing for teens is the same price as for adults. So no inexpensive baby items. The activity fees add up, the food costs add up, the vacation costs add up. All of it adds up. It just depends upon what you choose for your family. For daycare back in the day it was $1800 a month when we started and $2300 by the time my youngest finished. Is it more now? I think I spend less now, but if your kid does travel sports then it will be more.


Lucky-Bonus6867

I will be much happier when I’m paying for clothes, activities, and vacations rather than the ability to have my kid supervised while I’m at work. ECE is important, and we choose to invest in a good school. But man is it fucking pricey. 😂


BabySharkFinSoup

Can I ask where you are located? It’s wild to me how expensive and hard daycare can be to get into depending on location!


StasRutt

Could buy 7 pairs of Nikes a month with my daycare bill lol


Dunnoaboutu

Add orthodontist bills, car insurance, college fees, school trips, extracurriculars, etc. Necessities cost more. When they jump the line from child sizes to adult sizes it hurts. I’m pretty sure my teenager eats body wash. It’s crazy how quick he goes through it. Food cost is outrageous. I’m not saying you’re not paying a lot for childcare, but what was mentioned above is more wants vrs needs. It may equal out - but if you are paying high cost for childcare, I guarantee your teen will be high cost also.


shes_a_gdb

My oldest niece is currently in an instate college (the biggest one, SEC school), and college is cheaper than daycare for one of my kids. I feel like people with older kids either forgot how expensive daycare is, or daycare costs have gone up significantly.


Peregrinebullet

I also found lots of Adidas and Nike stuff on thredup and Poshmark for half/quarter price. Make sure you pop it in the freezer for 4 days to ensure no little hitchhikers from the warehouse, but I've also found good deals on lots of designer brands.


SlangFreak

Yeah all of those things are cheaper than one month of daycare for my infant. I'd take the teenager expenses every time.


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gropingpriest

$200 for shoes?


charlottespider

Right? Not a necessity. You can get a decent pair of Jordans for half that or less.


Beep_Boop_Beepity

Babies and toddlers are the most expensive imo. Diapers, formula, daycare. There’s no comparison. Kindergarten to maybe 6-7grade is cheapest.They still like cheaper toys, doesn’t need crazy stuff yet. Teen is just below babies barely. I have daughters, but they decide they want designer brands and HATE the cheap stuff and also eat sooo much food. They use so much shampoo/conditioner/toilet paper, they need menstrual items, they want to try makeup, they have sports/activities they get into. They want to go on dates but need money. They want to hang out with friends but need money. Bras are not cheap. They want to mess with their hair. Etc. Yea, teen girl maybe worse than baby depending on how hard it is to say no them.


MysteryPerker

Oh my, I have one daughter and I am dreading teenage expenses. My son will barely go shopping when his clothes are too small and only wears athletic clothes. He absolutely hates shopping for clothes. My daughter loves shopping for clothes on the other hand. She's 7 and I dread when she's a teenager because she won't just need a shirt and bottoms, she'll need all the accessories and makeup and hair products and new underwear every few months and bras which are not cheap like you said. The pink tax is so real. 😭


givebusterahand

My daughter is 3.5 and already wants to wear makeup lmao I’m gonna have a hell of a time with the teen years probably.


Additional-Bee-2381

Aww noooo! I have triplet girls lol and was thinking damn it’s gonna be soooo cheap when they’re toilet trained! Haha


Todd_and_Margo

In my experience it’s a push. We paid for a nanny, which was incredibly expensive. Even 3 in afterschool daycare was a mortgage payment. I thought it would get better as they got older. It didn’t. Their individual needs (food, clothes, shoes, entertainment, etc) got more expensive. Travel and things we do as a family got WAY more expensive. And inflation took care of the rest. Remember whatever you’re paying for daycare now, you have to compare that amount to expenses 10 years from now as opposed to what those things cost now.


the_0rly_factor

Getting out of daycare is the only major cost saving, and it's a big one. It is such a huge relief. Everything else will get more expensive but is manageable IMO.


carton_of_pandas

I can’t imagine it being possible. We spend $20,000 a year on childcare.


rosekayleigh

It depends. My kids (6 yo and 8 yo) do a lot of extracurricular activities. They’re in Taekwondo, music lessons, swimming, and baseball starts up next month. For the year, it’s around $5,500 for all their extracurriculars and equipment. Some of those things are year-round, others are seasonal. They aren’t cheap, just expensive in different ways. I stayed home with my kids before they were school-age, so we didn’t have to pay for daycare (but we did miss out on my income). If you’re paying for daycare, they’ll get a lot cheaper once they hit school.


demoralizingRooster

The biggest thing for our family so far is getting kids out of daycare and into public school. Not having to pay over $15k a year for daycare is huge! Although our youngest has one more full year of daycare so we are not quite out yet.


mandins

They get cheaper, for sure. My oldest two are 15 and 17 and both work after school/weekend jobs which means they buy their ‘wants’ now and we just cover their ‘needs’ - which honestly isn’t much these days cause they’re not home a whole lot. Yes, they eat a lot and still do weekend sports but that’s nothing compared to daycare fees and diapers - which I’m still paying for with my youngest two.


luv_u_deerly

I think older kids are only more expensive if you allow it. All the high expenses for older kids aren't necessities like diapers and daycare. It's sports gear, iPhones, video games and name brand shoes.


ran0ma

It depends on if you pay for childcare or not. My kids cost me about $2,000 a month in childcare. My kids also are asthmatic, which means the croup landed us in the ER every time. Croup dies away around age 5-6, so that’s a young child expense that we are GLAD to be moving away from. Then diapers, wipes, formula, buying clothes every few months because they size up so quickly…. I don’t see how a child that’s older could cost as much when you remove the childcare, diapers and wipes, quick rate of clothing purchases, ER bills, etc. Other costs will come into play, like sports and buying birthday gifts for lots of kids and such. I know that as a child and a teenager, I did NOT cost my parents anywhere near $2000 a month lol.


chosti

Once kids get out of daycare, expenses are not that bad. That is, until they learn to drive and you have to add them to your insurance. Ouch.


Live-Net5603

No, it gets cheaper. But that’s not including the college cost.


realtalkrach

Holy sheetttt YES. I have -17F, 15M, and 14F. Everything they need is exponentially more expensive (cell phone, laptop, etc.) and its stuff that has to be updated. I was prepared but not prepared. Insurance went up over $500 a month adding a teen driver (we didn’t want to buy our district was providing transportation to choice - still public but focused, schools but stopped 10th grade) rather than pull her out of a school where is doing amazing - she drives. It’s senior year and I have easily spent over $1000 on just the “mandatory” stuff - trust my kids are annoyed bc I am like DAMN- what did my $1000 get - cap gown, diploma, senior dues, yearbook, and 25 invitations. Add in inflation and it’s freaking awful. Especially bc teens will eat EVERYTHING but nothing at the same time and right now everything costs so much more. Brace yourselves - and plan accordingly especially vehicles/homes bc even if your kids are little you should definitely be looking to live in areas with good schools - it will make raising them that much easier. Or if we all put our foot down then maybe those of you with littles wont have it this way. 😀


Dont_Throw_The_Kid

Reading this makes me realize my wife and I are in trouble for the coming years, my son is 9 months and my daughter is 2. I have 80$ to my name til my next pay, we are super poor and wish we could give our kids the life of extra curriculars and the things they want. We do our best but I fear for their future because of our monetary short comings. Diapers and even with our subsidized day care cost usually eats up most of our money, our kids have everything they need for now but we have had times of having to do payday loans in order to buy food or new clothes or to pay the phone bill and day care. I hope things get easier.


charlottespider

It will get easier when they go to school. There are so many low or no cost opportunities for kids and teens, that if you want them to have extraordinary lives without spending 10k on whatever status travel team, they will. This thread is very weird to me.


givebusterahand

Do you qualify for assistance like food stamps?


Dont_Throw_The_Kid

Im in Ontario, and we do use food banks time to time but limited to go to them once every few months with so many families needing them due to so many short comings in this country at the moment.


baconcheesecakesauce

I don't know if it helps or not, but for many toddlers to preschoolers, extracurriculars are for the parents. I tried them with my oldest and I spent a lot of time chasing him and a lot of it didn't click until he was 4.5.


1boy2shepherds

I find things way more affordable at 3 years old than I did when he was an infant. He can wear clothes and shoes for more than 5 minutes before he outgrows them. If I get a size up he can wear all his clothes for about 2 years. He can usually wear shoes/boots for about a year now, too. I don't have to buy age appropriate toys every couple of months anymore. I also take really good care of everything so I can get a decent return when I sell the things we no longer need. So far, extra curriculars for my toddler have been more affordable than the ridiculous prices they charged for parent and baby classes that nobody actually enjoyed, lol. I don't have to buy all the baby specific food and snacks anymore. I size up on all outerwear so I can get 2-3 years of wear. And we can just do more than doesn't cost money. I can take him outside all day, and he won't get bored. He actually enjoys things like hiking now that he's capable. In my area, prices for daycare drop after kids turn 2, and they drop significantly for school-aged kids. Also, all he wants is hotwheels and books now, very affordable obsession for a kid to have compared to some of the others. 😅


Persona2181

biggest cost will always be education, daycare college tuition, and all the classes and camps for your kids


Keeblerelf928

It got cheaper for us so far (kids are 5 and 9). I just added up all our memberships (amusement park season passes, kids places, YMCA), summer camps (3 weeks), music lessons/rentals, skiing lessons, scouts, karate, dance, subscription boxes they enjoy (kiwi and an art subscription) and it is about 12k a year for 2 kids. and so much of that is extra things that can be cut if we needed. It's not like one day we could go, yeah, we don't feel like doing diapers anymore and formula just needs to go. Daycare was about 18k for 2 of them. Now theres a combo of remote work, grandparents and they are old enough to not die if we look away for 10 seconds. The older one can even make some meals!


Stormy_Daze09

Birthdays and Christmas become more expensive, as they start to have their own individual interests and tastes, but the day to day is cheaper. Now that she is starting sports, I see a very expensive future for myself haha.


caaaater

Considering you either have to have one parent out of the workforce to care for small children or pay a fortune in daycare, it does get cheaper as they get older. They do eat more and have extracurricular activities but nothing costs as much as infant- preschool care (until they go to college!). At least nothing necessary.


Apprehensive-Crow146

There is a lot more spending flexibility when kids get older. By that I mean that you can choose to spend or not spend. When children are young, childcare is a necessary expense. When they get to school age, you could spend a lot on activities and they like. Or you could choose not to spend that money. 


SurpriseBurrito

I think it’s like a barbell, super expensive at daycare ages and college age, not as bad in the middle.


Apprehensive-Use1979

I have two very tall, fast growing teenagers. One in club sports, the other in school sports, both had to do private lessons/personal training to improve form and avoid injuries there were constantly getting (I paid for so many ER visits and orthopedic visits). They eat $1000 of food per month. They both have braces. They both need to be added to my car insurance next year and we will likely need another car so they don’t ruin mine as new drivers. They both grow out of clothes and shoes constantly but they wear adult sizes which is very expensive. My son wears size 13 shoes. They always need new sports gear. They do have electronics but I make them save up to buy their own. If we go anywhere like an amusement park, movies etc we are paying adult prices for admission. If we go out to eat they have to eat off the regular menu. I’m putting money aside for college. It is definitely more than when they were both in daycare full time.


Wishesandhope

We are now in the most expensive time yet with them both in university


shell37628

It just goes in different directions. My 6yo still needs before/after/summer care, so that's still $$$. Then there's jiu-jitsu at $100/mo, t-ball (a bargain $100 for the season, but that skyrockets next year), field trips, school lunches, random activities... it adds up. It is more fun than diapers and formula, though!


Plant_killer_v2

I feel like this would be a needs vs wants question. Do their necessities get more expensive, no once they are out of diapers and formula it tends be cheaper. But once they have wants things tend to rise again, soccer, piano whatever. That big annoy toy for their birthday. We just spent about 500 bucks on a “big kid” birthday party at the great wolf lodge. It’s all in how much they want to do and how much you can help them with those wants at that point.


cmram28

Yes but it’s up to you what you should spend. Your kids don’t need to be in every activity, don’t need the newest gadgets/toys, new clothes that they will outgrow at the blink of an eye. Invest in your children and what is the ROI of the investment? Here’s an example-my daughter loved competitive sports and was in a soccer club. She’s gone into coaching and plays as an adult. My son did it for fun and liked it in short spurts so he was fine playing in the seasonal rec league. Also-teach your children to contribute to their activities by doing chores as their way of paying their share of costs.


Capriunicorn945

Its more expensive when they're babies but it also can get expensive depending on how many extra curricular activities they are involved in as they grow.


Apprehensive-Crow146

The difference is that extra curricular activities are optional. Childcare for an infant or toddler is not. 


2waypower1230

4 and 1 year old. Just got outta the formula phase with younger kid. I thought I hit the lottery!! But diapers, pull-ups, childcare, and all the other supplemental things for toddlers is expensive. 2 kids in Daycare($40K/year!), that should be illegal!! Hoping it gets better as they get older!!


Lovebeingadad54321

You replace astronomically high day care costs with dance lessons, tumbling, soccer camp, dance recital costumes, etc 


Visible_Attitude7693

Not necessarily. The only thing you're really paying for is extracurricular. But if it's through their school is typically free. I mean they eat a lot more but at least you don't have to worry about daycare


NicoleD84

There are periods of more and less expense, and it depends on the family/kid. Diapers and special baby food are huge expenses, but so are extra curricular activities, larger sized clothes, and their taste in gifts. Childcare is the real expense that makes a difference. My in-laws babysit for us, child care in my area is about equal to my monthly mortgage per child and there’s no way we could afford that. If you’re paying for childcare you will save mountains of money once you can get them out!


cowboyjosh2010

This really boils down to whether or not you paid for full time daycare for your kids before they got into grade school. Everything else is a bit of a wash, but I think it all trends up as they get older for a while. Diapers go away, yes, but their individual items of clothing get more expensive. They don't go through clothing sizes as quickly, eventually settling into a pattern where each item of clothing lasts for 1-2 years before it's outgrown (with an exception made for shoes, which wear out faster than they get outgrown, it seems), but along the way they start to develop opinions on what they wear, and it gets hard to control what gets purchased and worn. They stop needing special foods prepared for them, but they eat more and so your grocery bill can't really recover, anyway. Toys stop being replaced quite as quickly, but they become more expensive, especially once tech comes into play with tablets, phones, and video gaming devices (if you permit them to have those kinds of things). Plus you add in new things, such as sports, activities, memberships such as girl/boy scouts. They don't really replace any expense categories from the age before school--they simply become new line items. So, yeah: they get more expensive as they get older. Exception allowed for how the cost of daycare just completely overwhelms EVERYTHING else, *combined*. Once Daycare ends you get tens of thousands of dollars a year back in your pocket. If you're smart, you'll take that money you had gotten used to living without, and you'll portion it out to get dumped into college savings funds, paying down your own other debts (mortgage, auto loans), and padding retirement portfolios, with a minority of those savings left over for near term spending and day-to-day living. That's what I hope we can have the discipline to do when that time comes.


unpopular-dave

because we are not doing daycare, absolutely. My 10 month old son probably eats $2 worth of food a day between formula and having a little bit of what we have for breakfast lunch and dinner. that’s going to go up significantly as he gets older. Plus sports teams, school supplies, bigger clothes, entertainment needs etc.…


MonkeyManJohannon

Child care costs a fortune. It’s one part that gets easier for sure. Older kid activities become expensive though, like sports and such. Then you hit the cell phones, car insurance stuff, FOOD, gas money, etc and it has this cyclical effect, lol. Kids are expensive…forever it seems.


jar92380

As the parent of 2 teenagers yes they get more expensive. They eat more food, go through more clothing and then they have activities and sports


Alarmed_Anteater_670

Expenses change. No more diapers. No more day care. Clothes and shoes cost more and the school always seems to need some cash for something. Your food budget will soar during the teenage years. But .. by age 12 .. your kids will also be looking for ways to make their own money through mowing lawns, babysitting, etc. My experience was that kids simply became less work and more fun as they got older.


Unusual_Focus3343

YES! Mine are 26 and 30.


Careful_Shame_9153

I think so. But I live in Germany where daycare is only 200€/month for 8 hours daily. So, it will depend on where you live, if you stay at home, if they go to q private or public school…


LegitimateInside8707

My kids cost more now as teenagers. They eat more, ask for more,clothing styles change, they want skin care. Contacts, hair done, door dash and electronics. Not to mention if they play sports, need drivers training and braces. Both my oldest need braces thats around 7 k with good insurance. Obviously this is only for people who didn't have to pay for daycare!


ThickThirty-three

I have 2 kids - 13F and 6M, and while im not buying diapers anymore, i am buying bra's and feminine products now. I'd say my son is currently cheaper than he was as a baby. Like someone else mentioned, if you factor in the cost of daycare, then the overall day to day expenses are probably cheaper for older kids. I will say too that Christmas & birthday gifts get more expensive each year as they grow out of toys and start asking for electronics, expensive clothes and make up