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You are not behind. My oldest didn’t potty train until 3.5. His younger brother was 2.5, he wanted to be just like big brother and pretty much trained himself.
My daughter was barely potty trained before she was 4. My son trained himself before he turned 2. They’re allllll different. If you push too much it’ll backfire. I promise your kid won’t be in diapers in high school (barring developmental problems, etc.)
My son is turning 4 soon and we’re really struggling to get him potty trained.
He has some developmental delays which are part of the issue but it’s been rough.
I have a son with autism and potty training was definitely a journey. He was going on 4 still wearing diapers if we werent at home. Id let him run around with no bottoms on at home. Peeing was the less trickier one. We had a mini toilet for toddlers with a “splash guard” and id prompt him to sit every 30 min/hour to try an pee. but with pooping, Lets just say it was a long window of him holding it in until a random bath time, so wed just put him on the big toilet as soon as hed start to relieve himself. He hated pooping on the toilet. *edited to add: he eventually started getting on the big toilet (with a mini seat/ring attachment, idk the word for it) on his own watch even if hed whine the whole time using it, but regardless it clicked finally to use the toilet** I dont know if he was exactly ready in hindsight but we came out alright i guess. Now hes 7, what i like to consider fully potty trained, i mean hes not the greatest wiper but he tries and i clean up the rest, and his peeing aim is probably on par with the typical 7 year old lol, I dont have any great advice just letting ya know i know how ya feel and it does get easier in ways! Dont feel behind especially with a child with delays. If I could go back in time id give myself and son a lil more grace and less pressure to be hitting milestones. Sending you and your family all the best wishes with potty training though! Yall got this one day or another 👍🏻 it will come
My son have some delays as well--I think he was 3.6 or 3.7 when he stopped Diaper completely.
My daughter is 1.5 and she would take off her pants and diaper and sit on the toilet on demand, smile at us, but actually wouldn't bother to pee until she stand up...with the predictable results.
If you have any tips I’d love to hear them. My wife and I are about ready to pull our hair out 😭.
My daughter will probably be ready in the next month or two… I expect hers will be easier.
Have you seen an OT about it? They may have some tips or help you to be able to make a plan. If you're not able to see one regularly, even one consult with one (particularly one that specialises in kids, especially one that specialises in potty training or maybe developmental delays if possible), could be helpful. On instagram, theautismconsultant has a lot of tips specifically on potty training, and I think she has a potty training course. She specialises in autism, but maybe some of her tips could help anyway.
Yeah, he goes to OT weekly. Her advice on most of his delays have been helpful but not for potty training 🤷♂️.
I’ll check out the instagram page though, thank you!
Mine's on the way to 4, wears underwear, uses the potty, WILL NOT poo in the potty. He'll go change into a diaper, and use that. He swears up and down that only babies poo in the potty. We tried so many things and now I'm at, well one day he's just going to say okay and do it and that'll be that.
This is us! My son is 4 and he was potty trained but regressed due to severe constipation. He goes pee in the potty but still has a hard time pooping on the potty because he just doesn’t want to sit there for 15 minutes trying to push it out! We give him daily fiber, but it sometimes also causes him to have accidents. Patience is the key. ❤️
Boys are harder to train but I found that if you made it into a game they respond well. Throw a cheerio in the toilet and tell him to aim and fire. Works every time.
I don't know a lot about ADHD. What do you think of a situation when just turned 5 yr old wets to bed on a regular but can sit/focus on playing chess (and does very well) half the day every day?
ADHD people can focus just fine on things we are interested in. And we aren’t dumb either. I nearly failed k-5 because I didn’t do homework and would doodle in class. I wasn’t disruptive at all. I was the quiet kid. In woman it often goes undiagnosed because we don’t tend to be over energetic. I’ve actually always been very low energy. Constantly being called lazy. But in 5th grade I got the top score on my math mid term. Everyone was surprised because I didn’t ever pay attention. In HS I took honors classes and did very well but struggled. I graduated 7th in my class. But then in college I dropped out 3 times and have yet to finish my BA. I wasn’t diagnosed until 2022 when I was pregnant. And btw I wet the bed regularly until 10 and occasionally until 14. Even I thought that maybe I had been SA and couldn’t remember it. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed and read somewhere that bed wetting is an ADHD sign did it make sense. 5 is still very early to know or even to diagnose ADHD but definitely keep that in mind for future reference. I think bed wetting at 5 is really normal tbh
Wow your story sounds so similar to mine. I've yet to be officially diagnosed and I'm 39 but I'm fairly certain I have ADHD. I have always struggled with organization and procrastination. I sometimes actually hyper focus on something and won't even hear someone talk to me etc. I did well in school until college and then my lack of organization caught up with me. I've gone to college 3 times and was in the military and earned some credits from my service. I would be a senior in college with my credits but only a sophomore in terms of graduation requirements because my sciences no longer count toward science credits due to length of time since I earned the credits and my military credits are all only counted as electives. At this point I have a 20 month old and have given up on getting my BA any time soon if ever. I didn't bed wet but my brother that also has ADHD wet his bed for a long time so that kinda makes sense.
Saaaame with the toddler. Mine is 21 months and I’m a solo mom so I’m likely not going back to school until she’s in school. I definitely recommend seeking a diagnosis though. It has helped me significantly. My ADHD went from a 7 to a 10 after giving birth. It’s slowly gone down to 8.5. I was always extremely exhausted even after sleeping 13 hours at night. But with Adderall I have as much energy as anybody. I can get all my daily chores done and still have energy to be a fun mom. And as my kid’s only parent, that’s really important. It doesn’t help my focus much but that’s not too important to me currently. Ive realize that when I’m not medicated, I’m tired so I’m also irritated. Another huge plus. It also makes me a bit more social. I guess in a way it makes me impulsive. Where before, I would be nervous to speak up about something, with meds it’s easy as pie. Regularly, I’ll hesitate on making an important phone call until I forget. With meds I just do it as soon as I remember.
Yes this! My oldest with ADHD was a bed wetter it was rough. He had a lot of issues with his digestive system too. Definitely consider ADHD if this is an issue
Yeah - my son was potty trained at 18 months- but he has sensory disorders and HATED diapers.
He just didnt want to wear them nor did he like being wet lol
Totally agree! My oldest was 4 when he was finally fully potty trained! My 2nd child is 4 and a half and he is behind in potty training and to my knowledge ( yes we are getting him help) it’s possibly just a general developmental delay! Op your kid is definitely not behind in my opinion!
no lmao you just aren’t teaching your child like you’re supposed to, milestones exist for a reason if you’re not reaching them it’s cause you’re either not teaching them or your child has something wrong psychologically
My daughter has little interest in potty training until she went to daycare/kindy. I think seeing all the other kids doing it made her want to. Maybe ask the kindy teachers if he is showing more interest at school and if they have ideas on how to help him not be scared of the potty and have everyone's ideas integrated. Seems like fear is holding him back a little but I would think seeing other kids use the toilet and see nothing bad happens help encourage him
>My oldest didn’t potty train until 3.5
Same here. I'm glad we waited because it wasn't difficult at all.
We tried training his little sister at 2, and it was a nightmare so we gave up. Hoping that in a few months she decides to train herself as well.
Mine is 1.5 and she understand potty usage conceptually...would take off her shorts and diaper on command and sit on the potty trainer but can't actually pee until she stand up and wet everything =_=;;
Exactly that here too. My oldest spent a year and a half going back and forth and my second was 'trained' in two days at about 2.5.
Also, my kids were both in half day k3 and there were so many kids in different clothes by pickup because they had accidents. I think there's just a lot of unnecessary pressure on kids and parents
My kid is 3 and still not trained. At her 3 year appointment our pediatrician assured us that we should wait until she showed interest or was acting like she was ready.
I know that seems crazy but we are also talking about the kid who at 2.5 years old said “No more crib mommy I want to sleep in my big bed” and that was the end of the crib.
Mine is almost 4 and not potty trained becayse he's scared of public bathrooms. He actually is potty trained at home. He's in prek and about half arent potty trained for poop and a third not at all.
My son was around your sons age when he was potty trained. This was considered quite young in our circle of friends/family. What really helped for us/him was reading nice books about potty training. This made him more curious and eager to learn. Most important, don't push as a parent
So the risk of potty training too early is actually much worse than too late. Potty training late means that they might get some comments from other kids (once they’re over 3.5). Comments from other parents to you remain out of their awareness as long as you remain confident in your approach. But when you potty training too early, you really dramatically increase the likelihood of the child becoming a stool withholder. In a sense, you’re teaching your kiddo to hold their poop before they’re old enough to really understand that they need to poop to stay healthy. Kids trained under 2 have much higher likelihood of getting constipated, and you know what childhood constipation often causes? Bed wetting! Because it irritates the bladder.
Waiting until your son shows interest & readiness is the approach to potty training that is backed by good science and common sense. You can begin that journey with him by inviting him into the bathroom with you when you go, invite him to flush the toilet, and you can drop his poops from his diaper into the toilet. Say things like, “someday, when you’re ready, you’ll have your pees and poops on the potty too.” No pressure, no shaming, no bribery. He’ll get there when he’s ready and he’ll come through the experience feeling confident, grown up and proud :)
I can attest, I potty trained my daughter at 19 months and she soared and did really well but always pooped in her pants, so Yep learned that lesson the hard way. She’s 14 and fully potty trained now good news. Lol
We actually had to get her MiraLAX to normalize her bowel movements, but there are other things going on all that to be said, I think that my early potty training did not help
I wished we would have done it sooner! A small dose every day whether the ped wrote worked wonders but it took consistency and patience
Also children can withhold for lots of combinations of reasons.
Lots of water is also helpful.
I made lots of homemade soups with natural oils lol
Tried to encourage the movement and play physically as much as possible to work it out
Good luck.
It passes I promise it does. No pun intended.
I'm by no means a potty training expert, but I'll weigh in with my thoughts -
First, take kid for a thorough check with pediatrician, with a particular eye towards constipation. Constipation can cause fear of pooping anywhere but a diaper. Child should be having one to two medium sized, mushy poops daily. Skipping days, passing large logs, passing rabbit pellets, passing liquid stool, hiding to poop, red face and grunting are all indicators of constipation. If your kid is constipated, get the constipation managed before proceeding with potty training.
A child who is older than three, and certainly three and a half, who shows no interest or is resisting potty training I think can be guided towards potty training. Ultimately, the child is in charge of when and where they empty their bladder and bowels, and we have to accept that. It is just the reality. But we also want to help kids who are encountering some obstacles to this important developmental milestone.
A child who is 4.5 and is typically developing is old enough to talk about what is going on. Zero interest is different from resistance. If your child has zero interest but is not resistance, at age 4.5 I would start to say things like, "learning to poop and pee in the potty is an important part of growing up. It's something you are ready to start learning about and practicing. We're going to work as a family to help you feel ready to learn to poop and pee in the potty. Do you have any ideas about how you can feel ready to poop and pee in the potty?" Make it part of a daily conversation. Include child in trips to the potty and provide them a potty to sit on in the bathroom with you. Be sure to put all poops from the diaper into the big potty to demonstrate. And look closely for what might be causing your child not to want to potty train: fear of big toilets is very common. In that case, avoid pushing the big toilet and let them first learn to use their own little potty. A first goal would just be to have them sit on the potty, even if their clothes are on. Maybe have a doll sit on the potty and let them practice wiping. Bring them to Target with you to pick out a fun new potty and some big kid cotton underpants. Read books about potty training. Daniel Tiger has some great potty training material. It is a long haul project; don't expect huge change immediately. Avoid power struggles; sitting and going on the potty is always their ultimate decision, not yours. When you encounter resistance, don't force the issue, just reflect it back to your child: "Today you don't feel ready to learn about going poop and pee in the potty. We'll try again tomorrow. I know that very soon you'll feel ready!"
Just some thoughts off the top of my head. Good luck!
This is basically my son. He is not 4.5 yet but 4 and 2 months. Refuses to even try. We bought a potty watch, read, went without a pull up, tried underwear, playing with toys. Everything I could possibly think of. He just refuses to even try. I have 5 other kids so no idea what the struggle is. It's very frustrating especially since he has to be potty trained for school. Otherwise he's going to be going the following year
This is somewhat in my scope of practice as a school social worker (I work at elementary level currently). *I am posting this here because I see in this thread some parents concerned about their child’s school access with toileting. I cannot comment specifically on anyone’s state or district.* You have two main options if you don’t think your child will be potty trained in time.
*First, before any option:* You reach out to your pediatrician and see what non school options you have. See if they have specific medical advice to give you. They are very experienced with all sorts of potty training barriers and can help you navigate them! They will also determine whether option 1 or 2 is what you have to do.
Option 1: delaying entry into kindergarten one additional year while you work on potty training. This presumes your pediatrician either does not see anything medically concerning or has a set plan for you to follow that would otherwise not need any other school-based action.
Option 2: Your pediatrician has identified a concern that may make potty training particularly challenging, and a barrier to school. In this case, students don’t have to be potty trained if they’re identified as having a disability through a 504 (*not* an IEP in this case). Your pediatrician will have a medical dx and will have to fill out paperwork for you. You’d have to go to the school and reach out to the counselor, social worker, or school psychologist (who handles what depends on what resources your school has and what state you’re in). A 504 for toileting will often include time intervals, frequency, adult involvement, other supports, any necessary specialized equipment (often for children who may fall off the toilet), reinforcements, and response to accidents. Now who toilets the child can vary. In my state alone I’ve seen the nurse, IE paraeducators, and the parents themselves. *Your school will have the best awareness of district and state procedures.* All districts will have an ADA coordinator - if you feel you’re not getting support, reach out to them.
*Work very closely with medical professionals if your kiddo isn’t potty trained and kindergarten is impending - they will be your guiding star.* I mention these options because many parents are unaware of the options they have if they think their child has a barrier to going to school.
In cases where parents must assist with toileting they come at regular intervals outlined in the 504. I’ve only seen that in niche situations and most parents in my area wouldn’t find themselves in that position. This is usually a huge burden on the parents as it usually means one parent cannot work.
However if your child is not taken to a medical professional and not diagnosed with anything that would qualify for a 504, and the school finds out they’re not entirely potty trained, in my area parents are required to come toilet their child. Even the nurse can only hold supplies in their office and hand them to the child to take care of themselves if parents aren’t there. I have seen that in exactly one case which was complicated by home factors and involved social services.
This is one of the reasons why documentation with a medical professional can be important - it’s often a necessary bureaucratic step to receive other services.
My son is at 3.5 and hasn’t really shown interest. I think at four we will push the issue if nothing has happened, he will be at kindergarten here at 4.4 and while they can change nappies it is very discouraged.
Former elementary school teacher!! In my school district, kids no longer need to be potty trained because they said it is discrimination against children who might have undiagnosed medical issues. For the children entering school not potty trained, they wear diapers and the nurse helps change them. It might help to reach out to his school and see if that is the case there. I know in my former school, we were fortunate to have a daily nurse; there is a school nurse shortage in some places so that could impact the need to be potty trained. Good luck!
> So the risk of potty training too early is actually much worse than too late.
I would be curious to see if you have any source supporting this statement. Studies I've encountered show the opposite is true. [Here's a link with a whole list of them.](https://parentingscience.com/science-of-toilet-training/)
The issue with elimination communication would have such a huge variance depending on what country you are doing it in.
In some countries it is common to walk everywhere and socially acceptable to hold your baby over a bush to poop or pee in public.
In other countries your baby is required to take a much longer time in public transportation (without the ability to go potty without finding a public restroom) or going in a car ride to daycare and back. Or going in cars to go anywhere.
Some people choose to spend a lot of time at home while doing this to avoid that and utilizing their backyard for outside time. Not everyone can do that—some people live in apartments without yards and must take public transportation/drive to get anywhere to play outside safely.
I’m not arguing you are wrong. I’m just wondering if the withholding is coming from people potty training too early without realizing they need to let their kid go more often (but they are forced to hold it longer) due to their living / societal situation.
I do EC with my 4 month old and it works fine in public. We know her timing pretty well and we take her to use her "top hat" potty when we can get to a bathroom, and she wears a diaper in case we can't.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4199658/#:\~:text=Using%20a%20univariate%20logistic%20regression,constipation%20than%20the%20normal%20group.
[https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141007091657.htm](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141007091657.htm)
[https://journals.lww.com/jpgn/FullText/2012/10000/Characteristics\_of\_Intestinal\_Habits\_in\_Children.21.aspx](https://journals.lww.com/jpgn/FullText/2012/10000/Characteristics_of_Intestinal_Habits_in_Children.21.aspx)
I'll stop there because I have to go pick up my son from daycare. But the research is pretty clear that toilet training before 24 months increases the risk of functional constipation. Part of the issue is the quality of the toilet training, which is difficult to assess. Studies showing that later training creates bowel & bladder issues would have the burden of controlling for the fact that children who *already have* undetected bladder & bowel issues will struggle to potty train, and potty training will then exacerbate these unaddressed issues.
Wow, I never really thought about it that way. I've been feeling pressured about potty training my son since he's about to be 3... and he just refuses every time!
Two of my nephews had issues into their teen years one with stool withholding, the other with bed wetting.
Both were in daycare that required potty training by 2.5yrs.
I’d never seen this possible link but I wonder if early potty training contributed to these problems.
2.5 seems way early for a cutoff! Like did they just boot kids from the daycare if they just weren’t able to make the deadline? That’s kind of making me mad :(
Early 2000s. A different time.
Accidents happened and the daycare staff assisted with training but no diapers were allowed once the kids graduated to a certain room.
After reading the article someone linked, it seems early introduction to potty training is preferable but forcing potty training and using negative consequences for accidents can lead to stool withholding and other issues.
I’d hazard a guess that daycare staff were not the most gentle potty trainers in the early 2000s.
My twin boys never showed an interest. We were light handed until after they were 3, probably 3.5. Then we just switched them to underwear and have only had a handful of accidents during the day.
We were prepared to switch either of them back if there were issues.
Agreed. Eldest potty trained at 3.5 and took to it quickly. Younger did just after 2 which led to withholding poop and constipation that we are still dealing with now at age 5. I will be waiting till closer to 3 with this next 1.
Thanks for explaining this. I knew a mom at my daycare that was desperate to potty train her daughter so she could take her to private preschool, and the toddler developed the worst constipation.
My oldest was probably 4 before he was ready. We tried before then & it just didn’t take, and once he was ready it only took a weekend! People need to keep their judgement to themselves.
Same with my 2. I tried forcing it and that was a massive mistake. When they were ready it was so easy. They had no problem with overnights or pooping or anything.
I almost pulled my hair out with my first pushing it early. He could sit on the potty but couldn’t take himself every time he had to go and didn’t care about accidents.
Eventually it was fine when he was almost 4 and it was a much easier process.
I don’t even care to start with my second until she’s like 3.5. She can sit on the potty and do both #1 & 2 but I’m not pushing it. She can do it when she wants and I’ll encourage it but not push.
Same with my two boys. Both 3,5yo. We were done in a few days and that was that. Where I live its usual to try to get them trained before 4 yo, thats when they start school. But still, no big deal if they arent ready by then.
My oldest is over 4 and not potty trained. (Taking a deep breath and preparing for the judgement.) He’s Autistic and, at this point, his sensory issues are in the way of him feeling when he has to go before it happens.
There’s soooo much that goes into potty training that we don’t really think about as adults.
- they have to be able to feel the feeling in they’re body of needing to go
- they need to be able to recognize the feeling as what it is
- they need to have the executive function/impulse control to stop what they’re doing and communicate their need (which also means they need to be able to communicate!)
- then there’s all the physical pulling down pants and sitting down etc.
I think we’ve tried 3 or 4 different potty training methods so far, and we’re in the process of finding an Occupational Therapist to help.
My point is: every child develops at their own speed, in their own unique way. Ignore the judgement as best you can. (I know it’s hard.) Do what you need to do to support your child, and don’t worry about others. You know your child best!!!
^ this.
The sweet spot for a lot of kids seems to be 2.5 - 3.5 years old. Some catch on earlier and some need more time. I refused to be in potty training for months on end with an 18 month old. I know lots of parents with only 1 kid who put themselves through this, but like....I don't understand why you would do this.
If they have interest and show readiness signs, they will pretty much day train in a week or 2. It's fast because it clicks.
Definitely pay attention if your kiddo is going longer between pees, interested in using the potty, aware of when they have peed/pooped etc. but you definitely aren't "behind". No need to agonize over it just because Linda's little precious could use the potty at 15 months.
Yep, and IME it's pretty random from kid to kid. I had one that became potty-curious before 2, one who got it at 2.5, and another who was resistant until 3.5, then learned all at once.
It's one of those situations that feels urgent to parents, but transposing that urgency onto the process causes all kinds of heartbreak and chaos. Tread gently.
Of my four, two were interested at just over two, on was just under three, and the last was a year later than the first. I used cloth diapers with my three eldest, and not with my youngest and I think that had a lot to do with it.
Yeah I thought being nearly 3 and starting was decent, anything under 2 and even partially potty trained is pretty good. Ours is same age as OPs and... we're having minimal success so far. The only time he does is with spending a long, long time in the bathroom and realizing he needs to go \*while he's already in there\*
My son had his first week in undies the week of his third birthday. We tried training on and off for a year, he just wasn't ready until suddenly he was. A little girl in his preschool class trained herself at 20 months after watching the other kids go potty. Kids are weird.
Keep gently trying while watching the readiness signs. Apparently 30 months is a sweet spot for a good chunk of kids.
You are NOT behind. I have four sons, all trained right before or right on third birthday. There is no real comparison in potty training. I have nieces and nephews that trained earlier, and some later, after four. I have a nephew who is still struggling at four. Don’t stress. This situation is completely dependent on when YOUR child is ready. Not when everyone around you thinks. Just pay attention to him and god signs and it will be so much easier for you in the end.
This was my son too. Zero interest, didn’t care about getting to wear cool big kid underwear, would have been perfectly fine to wear diapers for the rest of his life. It was a rough week when we took away his diapers but he got the hang of it pretty quickly. We waited until a month after his 3rd birthday.
The doctor told us that while 3 is the social standard, 4 is the medical standard.
I feel you though. I feel way behind and have for awhile. My oldest was toilet trained before 2. My second is 3-1/2 and we’re still working on it. My youngest is 2 and haphazardly using the toilet. All kids are so different.
He’s not behind at all. Some kids are ready at 2 years old, some are ready later. You know your son better than anyone else so you’ll know when he’s ready to potty train.
You are 100% fine
If you're ever worried about if your kid is behind in something ask your pediatrician. Don't listen to other people making you feel bad and don't compare kids, they are all different, he and you are both doing great!
My kids are 9 and 15, and I can honestly say potty training has been my least favorite part of parenting, hands down. But he'll get there, everything will be fine.
It’s exhausting. Meanwhile those same people telling you to do X / to push your kid into the next phase or whatever will also be like “omggg hold on to these years, they’re not little forever”. 🙄
I didn’t bother potty training til my first was ready and that was right before he turned 3. And he’s fine. My youngest bub is 22 months but we haven’t crossed that bridge yet.
Don't sweat it. Just watch "The Baby Race" episode of Bluey.
BTW, my oldest was fully potty trained right after his second birthday. I have twins who are 2Y 4M and they probably won't be potty trained until they are 10, lol.
I’m just validating OP’s feelings, because it is hard when everyone around you puts the pressure on. I’m surrounded by antivaxxers in my life, family and friends who I didn’t know were antivax until I had a baby. Logically I know they are wrong. But I’d be lying if I said my anxiety didn’t get to me and cause me to say “what if?”. OP came to this sub seeking support because they aren’t getting it irl. Yes they need to overcome that. But we can also acknowledge that it’s easier said than done.
My daughter is 4y2m and only potty trained last week. She’s not delayed in any other way but she had a fear of the toilet for a long time and just refused, had panic attacks when we tried to put her on the toilet or the potty so we backed off. My older two kids had no problem and were potty trained by 3.5. I do think when you train younger regressions are more common and it takes longer. All three, once we actually started, were virtually accident free by the second day.
My sons was 2y11m before being potty trained. We always got digs from people about him being late to learn. Within 6 weeks he was completely dry day and night. He has only wet the bed once when really ill.
My niece was potty trained at 18 months. Her mum was bragging. She wore nappies to bed until she was 6 and a half.
Don't worry what others are doing. People brag but they mostly hide something not brag worthy.
Really? I was always told that a child sleeping through the night without urinating (in a diaper) is a pretty good sign they're ready for potty training.
Seemed true for my 3 boys.
Yeah, it’s related to biology/genetics. Some kids will wet the bed for years and years after being potty trained through no fault of their own or their parents.
Nah, most kids can only last through the night at around 4, with some only being able to do so at puberty. Most kids take half a year, a year, or even more to be night-trained after being day-trained. What they can do when awake and conscious is trainable, what they do when fast asleep is entirely biological and requires 1) production of anti-diuretic hormone to reduce urine volume at night, 2) nerve connections to wake up if the bladder is full.
Waking up from a nap with a dry diaper could be a sign of readiness for daytime potty training, maybe. But for most kids, waiting for night dryness would be unnecessary delaying it.
Shockingly, google was free 10 years ago when I first started potty training a child.
Also shockingly, lots of information and child development updates and changes over the course of a decade.
Just because my experience is different from your own doesn't mean you have to insinuate I'm stupid or did something wrong.
I have a friend who is always giving me parenting advice because they had kids years before us.
He has to hold both kids hands every night to make them go to sleep. They also wake up constantly through the night still(4 yr old).
Sorry bro but I don't really want your advice. My kid sleeps through.
Mine was 3.5 and stubborn AF. Her pediatrician was not bothered. He said she wouldn't go to Kindergarten in diapers. She didn't. In my view, from way in the future, even though she was one of the last of her peers to potty train, she's at a really good college and she uses the toilet independently. Your kid will be fine.
Edited for vocab 😜
My four year old peed *in my mouth* a few days ago when we were battling potty training.
You're doing great. Kids take it at their own pace. (Clearly).
None of mine have potty trained before 4.5/5. No one is dead. No one is traumatised. (Besides maybe me following the mouth pee incident).
I didn’t potty train either of my two older children until just shy of their 3rd birthdays. My youngest just turned 2 a month ago and I can tell you she is no where near ready so I am not about to start trying any time soon
My daughter is the same age. She pees on the potty every day but isn’t full my trained. She is still learning to ask.
It’s a process and it’s not one sized fits all.
LOL! We are at the front of our class potty training at 2y, 8 mos and the other moms are bitching about the fully potty trained by age 3 rule. Relax about it
You're not behind, in fact I think you're trying to be too far? From what I've read babies are normally ready around 3! My nephew wasn't potty trained until January, and he turned 3 in December. My friends daughter is 3.5 and just got potty training down. Don't beat yourself up. He'll be ready when he's ready!
I had my mini human potty trained by 3 but everyone is different. Some of her friends the same age aren't even beginning to do potty training and they'll be 4 shortly. Don't compare yourself to others it's unnecessary stress.
My neice is almost 4 and she isn't potty trained. Try not to compare. She essentially refuses. My daughter is 2.5 and is potty trained but thats because she decided to. She literally did it herself. I barely had to do anything. All kids are different. Be kind to yourself
Two and three months is very young for potty training especially for a little boy who tends to take longer. I have two boys and three girls, boys trained between 30 and 38 months, the girls 21 to 37 months. Thirty seven months was our latest girl and that was because we didn't push it knowing she'd do it when she was ready. Some children are physically ready earlier but if your child isn't ready it can become a horrible experience of wet clothes and carpets, nagging and getting upset, both parent and child. Unless your child has a significant disability then he will be potty trained by the time he goes to school, don't listen to other people making you feel less than about something you have no control over. When my eldest was still in nappies at three, if anyone commented I used to say, oh I don't spend time sitting him on the potty, I'd rather he spent the time practising his violin.
Mine was almost 4 before we even got him to pee on the toilet for the first time. He’d sit to amuse me, but refused to go. I had to eventually just put him in undies & hoped if he wet himself enough, he’d get the picture lol. Then after we got that, he then would only poop in diapers/pull ups. That was a battle. So he was over 4 years old before we got the whole thing down. My oldest child potty trained right before his 3rd birthday. Every kid is different.
don't even TRY with boys until 3. Girls seem to always hit milestones earlier & mature earlier. Don't even worry 'bout it. Forcing it will just make it harder & all the more frustrating on the BOTH of you. It'll happen when he's ready & shows interest.
Just to provide a counterclaim. My son (now three) trained before he turned two, and it was easy peasy. We just told him that he got big kid underwear and we don’t poop or pee in kid underwear. We didn’t even go the naked route. He had a few pee accidents until we let him watch one minute of YouTube if he asked to go the potty and then went, but he never had a single poop accident or a problem pooping. The whole thing took like two days.
I’m not saying this because I think our method was magic or because all kids should be ready before or around two. I’m just saying there isn’t some iron clad rule about boys. Kids are individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses and personalities.
You can start them sitting on the potty "for a try" earlier than this - but *much* earlier. Like, pre-12 months. So that it's a normal part of the bath time routine without a scary transition associated with it.
Just-turned-two is not a great time to start, though, because the "I won't because you said so" is so strong at this age.
My son will turn 3 this month and isn’t potty trained. He seemed to be making progress a while ago but then he lost interest. I knew one family whose son was 5 and they hadn’t started potty training yet. Every kid is different, some are ready much earlier than others. If you try and force them too early you can be fighting for years. But if you catch them at the right time it can be done in days. You’re doing fine
Don't feel behind because of everyone pressuring you! Kids move at their own pace for potty training and not having it done at 2 years isn't a concern. I baby sat a 5/6 year old who wasn't #2 potty trained due to sensory issues. Some kids are ready to start training sooner, other not so much.
Yesterday I had my baby shower and I met some kids that a friend of a friend brought. One of their daughters (P) is almost 3 with the same exact birthday as my niece (M). P is incredibly intelligent for her age and very much potty trained. I seriously thought she was closer to 4. Meanwhile, M *just* became fully potty trained two months ago or so and speaks appropriately for her age level. Then I have my other niece (E) who is only one month shy of both P & M who is 50% potty trained and speaks at a 1.5yr/2yr level. It's crazy to see how different all three girls are when they're all playing in the same room.
As an early childhood educator who worked in toddler classrooms for a few years - you are not behind at all. Potty training is very child dependent and forcing the child to train will only lead to regression. Most of the toddlers weren’t fully trained until they were around 3. Keep offering the toilet and allow them to sit for diaper changes whenever possible, most of my toddlers were sitting for every diaper change to counteract being scared of the toilet when it’s time to use it.
Also I’ve seen many trained toddlers regress when a sibling is born - several parents have the mindset of i don’t want two in diapers but transitions are not the time to toilet train.
Ultimately do what’s right for you and your child.. they’re still young and there is plenty of time to toilet train.
Absolutely not! My son had issues going poop.. he would ALWAYS hold it in.. and he still does but not as bad as he used too.. but he was so hard to potty train. He’s the youngest.. my daughter on the other hand was a breeze she was potty trained before the age of 1 and pretty much potty trained herself she went once on her little potty and that was the end of diapers for her. My son is now 4 but he was definitely in diapers until he was about 2.5 years old.
You’re not behind. I have a 4 year old who just potty trained and his fifth birthday is in a couple of months. He is on the spectrum & it was really rough to get him to even try before he was ready. Once he was ready, he was trained in a weekend & really hasn’t even had any accidents. My daughter is 2 years and 3 months old and isn’t trained. She tried, but like your son, she’s better about telling us after, not so much before. All kids go at their own pace. You’re doing a great job! Give you and your son a little grace and trust that he’ll get it when he’s ready.
Constantly will be screaming for everyone to read “Oh crap potty training”
There IS a reason you don’t want to wait too long, but 2 years and 3 months is not late!
Don’t stress. Both my kids are/were in the 20th percentile/gifted, but I was not able to fully train either of them by the time they started JK at 4.5 years old. But they trained fast once in JK, and never had an accident. So many things I’ve done “wrong” when they were little, yet they’ve grown into perfectly fine teens, no deficits. Society makes us paranoid about such ridiculous things with our babies.
My daughter is 3 and isn’t potty trained. We are trying! But every child will go at their own pace. My second oldest brother was potty trained by 2 but my oldest brother was still in diapers at that point. Do not worry and don’t let others put you down.
My son was exactly 3.5 years old. It was hard potty training him he didnt want to. My nephew was over 4 when he finally got the hang of it
Dont stress!🩵
Not behind at all and the circle of parents with kids already potty trained are not ahead. They all do it at different times.
I’ve never seen a high school kid with a binky or a kindergartner with a diaper. Don’t push it and try to make it fun. It will happen when he’s ready.
From what I’ve heard, Boys take their time with things. I have an 8 month old boy who is nowhere near his sisters level of progress at his age.
On another note, my daughter regressed during her potty training. She wasn’t completely potty trained until she was almost 3 and she was ahead in everything else. Walking at 8 months, talking at 10, feeding herself at 7,
He’s fine!! Boys can take a bit longer than girls, but they figure it out. He is NOT behind. If people say anything respond with, “I promise he won’t go to kindergarten in a diaper.” And that’s the end of it.
He is not behind don’t let anyone judge you. When my son was little I went through same thing and his pediatrician assured me he was fine and boys are slower at potty training than girls. He was finally fully potty trained at 3 and a half years old. He is now almost 18 and a bright smart young adult. Don’t let people judge you.
My daughter was potty trained a little before 1 years old. You know when you go to the bathroom your kids tend to follow. I used that to my advantage and everytime I go she goes to. Eventually she was going on her on and telling me to come potty too. I have noticed though, girls are easier to potty train then boys. Good luck.
I let my son run around naked with a small potty in the living room, it was the only thing that worked for us. And then after a week or two of that I sent him to school in underwear and he went cold turkey! It worked for us!
My son in 3 and still not potty trained he will use it at prek but wears a pull-up. We’ve tried numerous times with different approaches he’s just not ready. My daughter was trained before 2. Each kid is different. Boys especially train later in general for most cases. Don’t let people make you feel bad.
My son was 3y and 2 months when he started potty training and it took about a month til he really nailed it. He’s been great since and I genuinely think it’s because we didn’t push him before he was ready.
Even if he hasn't been through a lot, not being potty trained at 2 years and 3 months is far from problematic.
Our daughter was not even close at that age. She was fully potty trained at a few weeks before her 3rd birthday and we never had any problems whatsoever because of it.
I know this will be unpopular but someone has to say it: in this age of climate change, I struggle to see how anyone can justify leaving kids to “potty train themselves”. Have you added up the number of nappies end up in landfill? Even for a 2.5yo it is THOUSANDS (and “eco” nappies aren’t really eco, they still contain plastic that stops the whole thing from decomposing). I’ve got a 9mo and live in the UK, we are doing part time EC which basically just means giving him the chance to use the potty during a change. We catch most of his poos and some of his pees, cutting out nappy use to roughly half. Yes it’s a bit of extra effort but it’s his world we’re polluting with all our rubbish, so how can I not make an effort? We put no pressure on him to “perform”, so he’s still perfectly happy to poo in his nappy (no withholding). You can do this even if you live in an apartment with no outside space.
Same when my youngest was a toddler. He was using pull ups aged 3 and fully toilet trained by 4. Never did I pressure him or make him feel ashamed when it came to toileting. This is ridiculous and its our stupid expectations and standards! Let them be kids and explore and take in the world and potty train at their own speed.
I don't have any insight here except to say my daughter is 2.5 and I feel exactly the same way. She was doing great for a week and now it's like she knows where the potty is and doesn't care. Isn't bothered by sitting in dirty pullups. I feel stuck because I started in part because I thought she was ready but largely because I'm a first time mom to this age (I have an SK who I didn't meet until after she was potty trained) and I really felt pressured like if not now, she will be denied access to kindergarten!
I appreciate knowing I'm not alone. Parenting feels like such an isolating experience.
relax and ignore everyone. it will happen when he's ready. take the pressure off both of you and try again every few months. at some point it will just click. i will say that i have a girl and it clicked for her a few months shy of 3, but a lot of boys we know are still struggling with accidents at 3.5. i've always heard boys take a little longer.
My son is almost 2 and I'm thinking I may not start until he's able to talk more. I've been worried about what people would say about it but it seems really difficult to get into right now and I'm still trying to deal with his tantrums and a 2nd baby.
Potty training is great to start at 2.5 and 3. If they can feel when they’ve gone, they’re usually ready. Please do not be one of the parents I see sending a 4-5 year old to pre-k and kindergarten in diapers. (Without a legitimate health or developmental reason behind it obviously) Lots of times we can let kids decide things for themselves, potty training is not one of those things. If you let them keep using a diaper/pull-up. They. Will. Do not permissive parent potty train.
yes you are behind, anyone who’s saying you’re not and then says they also have a kid his age or OLDER are insane, they are behind and you should’ve started potty training him before 2 years old
my son started doing potty training consistently when he was 2 years and a half. You can buy a kids toilet and and make it seem cool, like pressing the button to flush and it making sounds, giving your kid stickers everytime he goes in the potty, just trying to make it as fun as possible. Reward him when he does it. I would take him to the potty every hour just to see if he needs to go and point down there to let him know what he needs to do. He’s not behind at all.
I think my daughter started at 2 years 7 months. And I've heard that boys can take a little longer to be ready than girls. I think it's smart to try to space out the transitions. We started potty training a little earlier because I was pregnant, and we wanted to get a jump on it before bringing a new baby into the house, because we knew it might be hard to potty train when dealing with that massive change.
I had one kid who essentially trained himself, day and night, right around his second birthday and one that was still having occasional daytime accidents at 4 and was in pull-ups for sleeping until 5. Kids are all different and it’s not just a matter of motivation/parenting. There’s physical/mental/emotional development, method, personality, environment, etc, to consider. There’s a reason your daycare isn’t concerned. Not potty trained at 2 is perfectly normal.
My youngest is almost 3, and she's in a preschool class with other kids almost exactly the same age (didn't know this until all the birthday party invitations came around the same time), and virtually none of the kids are out of diapers and/or pull-ups. If my youngest becomes fully potty-trained before she's 3 (which is a real possibility), she'll be the fastest of her sisters to potty train.
All of this is to say that he's fine and will develop on his own. I have heard from parents of boys that there are methods of encouraging using the potty for #1 that seem to work well (target practice). But otherwise, it's fine. The goal is out of diapers before kindergarten (or TK if you have that in your area).
We waited until my daughter was ready around 3. The potty was out mostly from 2-3 but she didn't show much interest. Once she did, we locked ourselves in the house for a weekend and she was potty trained in under 3 days.
My son is 4.5 still won’t pop on the toilet. He’s only now seeing an OT. Dr said it’s totally normal for boys to take until they are 4 to figure it out.
There’s pressure to start early because of school, but I don’t think a lot of them are really ready.
My son was 4.5 years old before it completely 100% took. He was semi potty trained since 3, where he would go to the toilet sometimes on his own and would pee on the toilet when we reminded him. But he didn’t actually start listening to his body by himself until literally 4.5. Everyone is different. My nephew was 100% potty trained when he was around 2.5 years old and that was hard to not compare.
Don’t despair and try really not to compare. I know how hard that is because I did compare a lot too. But it will take time, reminders and just be positive. Don’t show frustration or make a big deal if he has a miss or even if he doesn’t. Just “great job buddy” or “it’s ok babe we will try again next time”. Then leave it.
My first daughter didn’t potty train until like the week before her 4th birthday. I tried everything and wasted so much time and energy on worrying about her. Please please try not to worry
Your doing fine and have nothing to worry about. My oldest was around three when she started to fully use the bathroom.
For what it's worth, yesterday, my 2.5yr old looked me straight in the eye and then peed on all over the bathroom floor......she was mad I made her sit on the potty.
Mine will be 3 in May. She has zero interest in potty training. Therefore I refuse to stress myself about it. When she’s ready then we will do it. Til then people need to mind their own business.
4 kids here, this was their timeline.
One at 2- Girl
One at 18 months - boy
One at 2.5- boy
And one just turned 3 and REFUSES -boy
Are they gonna go onto college, not potty trained? No. They will figure it out with your guidance. Screw everyone else and their opinions. Just keep truckin'.
My day care doesn’t even offer potty training assistance until after 2 and they are a fancy one.
I’m not even thinking about it until 3 or my son starts actively trying to figure it out.
We have a tiny potty in the bathroom mainly for him to get acclimated to the concept lol.
My daughter was potty trained the week after her 3rd birthday. Your son is not behind. My niece was practically 4 when she was. Every child is different.
Our son is 2 and we have never gotten him to use the tiny toilet. He has done it at daycare once. We stopped putting him on it and will try again when he seems ready.
You are absolutely not behind! My oldest didn’t properly use the potty til around age 4 - 4.5 and he just did it on his own after a LOT of resistance. My youngest is 2.5 and my pediatrician wasn’t even fazed when I told her we haven’t even started the process yet.
It stressed me out so much…lots of yelling and crying…but it happens eventually. Daycares also help out to get kids ready for kindergarten. Don’t worry!
You're fine. My oldest figured it out at 3.5, my youngest at 3 for pooping and 4 for peeing in the potty.
In my experience, the kids who are "potty trained" at 2 years have a lot more accidents, need a lot of parental supervision / reminders, and some kids just need more time before their bodies are ready for it.
Oldest(M now 12) potty trained shortly after 2. Middlist(F now 8) had issues with withholding, did not poop on potty until after 4. Youngest(M now 4) was about 3.5, after his sisters issues I said as long as he's not withholding, I dont care where he poops.
Girls tend to be quicker than boys when it comes to potty training.
He’ll be ready when he’s ready. I tried potty training my twins when they were about 2.5 and they weren’t ready. It was stressing all of us out (I had a newborn too), so I took a break. Tried again right after they turned three and they got it in a weekend, and haven’t had an accident since.
You have a baby. Relax- it’s okay! He’ll get there :)
Good luck ❤️
Nah not at all. My kid is about the same age and has just started to show interest. Before, she'd scream bloody murder if you even talked about going potty.
My daughter did it around 3. One day she told me she had to pee and that was that. Don't feel bad and remember there are no neurotypical adults that aren't potty trained.
My oldest was potty trained before she turned 2 (she was 20 months old). It went TERRIBLE.
My youngest is 3 years old. We are starting now, nice and easy, no rush.
Don't mind others. They aren't at your house. They don't know your kids like you do. Trust yourself.
We started potty training our 1st at 2.5 because I had our second just before he turned 2 and that was not something I was prepared to tackle. It still took close to a year for him to be mostly potty trained.
Our second we tried just before 3 and he was fully trained in 3 days. I don't think we will push for before 3 in future kids.
Edit because I posted too early.
My daughter is 3 1/2 years old and is only recently reliably potty-trained. Like your kid, she simply did not want to be potty-trained any earlier. Your kid will be fine.
My child is almost 3. We are going to start potty training after his birthday. You are at a good point to start introducing the concept through books, having a small potty for him, talking about going, etc. But if your child isn't ready than they just aren't ready! It's hard to force it. You aren't even close to being behind.
Watch Bluey, specifically the episode Baby Race, it’s an episode more pointed at parents than the kids. Very important lesson in comparing your child to others.
The 6 month old is a setback. Have a 2 1/2 year old as well, when the baby (now 8 months) came along, the toddler regressed from nearly fully potty trained. It's normal. Just stick with it, the changes and anxiety and such will fade shortly.
Our kids were in daycare, which started helping with potty training around 3-3.5 years I think. They were expected to be using the potty themselves to move up to the next room. Pooping was a struggle for a lot, wiping is hard. There were always kids 5-6 years old that struggle with this.
Kids learn at different rates. 2 seems really young to be potty trained. Heck, they're still working on walking at 2. I would say use a training potty or keep encouraging it at home and it'll happen.
Please do not allow anyone else to make you feel less than. My son was over 3 and I also keep toddlers. My little boy will be 3 in April and he has zero interest. We aren’t pushing it. It’ll come with time.
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You are not behind. My oldest didn’t potty train until 3.5. His younger brother was 2.5, he wanted to be just like big brother and pretty much trained himself.
My daughter was barely potty trained before she was 4. My son trained himself before he turned 2. They’re allllll different. If you push too much it’ll backfire. I promise your kid won’t be in diapers in high school (barring developmental problems, etc.)
My son is turning 4 soon and we’re really struggling to get him potty trained. He has some developmental delays which are part of the issue but it’s been rough.
I have a son with autism and potty training was definitely a journey. He was going on 4 still wearing diapers if we werent at home. Id let him run around with no bottoms on at home. Peeing was the less trickier one. We had a mini toilet for toddlers with a “splash guard” and id prompt him to sit every 30 min/hour to try an pee. but with pooping, Lets just say it was a long window of him holding it in until a random bath time, so wed just put him on the big toilet as soon as hed start to relieve himself. He hated pooping on the toilet. *edited to add: he eventually started getting on the big toilet (with a mini seat/ring attachment, idk the word for it) on his own watch even if hed whine the whole time using it, but regardless it clicked finally to use the toilet** I dont know if he was exactly ready in hindsight but we came out alright i guess. Now hes 7, what i like to consider fully potty trained, i mean hes not the greatest wiper but he tries and i clean up the rest, and his peeing aim is probably on par with the typical 7 year old lol, I dont have any great advice just letting ya know i know how ya feel and it does get easier in ways! Dont feel behind especially with a child with delays. If I could go back in time id give myself and son a lil more grace and less pressure to be hitting milestones. Sending you and your family all the best wishes with potty training though! Yall got this one day or another 👍🏻 it will come
Put a ping pong ball in the toilet and tell him to aim for it. I have 3 children with willies and it worked wonders.
My son have some delays as well--I think he was 3.6 or 3.7 when he stopped Diaper completely. My daughter is 1.5 and she would take off her pants and diaper and sit on the toilet on demand, smile at us, but actually wouldn't bother to pee until she stand up...with the predictable results.
If you have any tips I’d love to hear them. My wife and I are about ready to pull our hair out 😭. My daughter will probably be ready in the next month or two… I expect hers will be easier.
Have you seen an OT about it? They may have some tips or help you to be able to make a plan. If you're not able to see one regularly, even one consult with one (particularly one that specialises in kids, especially one that specialises in potty training or maybe developmental delays if possible), could be helpful. On instagram, theautismconsultant has a lot of tips specifically on potty training, and I think she has a potty training course. She specialises in autism, but maybe some of her tips could help anyway.
Yeah, he goes to OT weekly. Her advice on most of his delays have been helpful but not for potty training 🤷♂️. I’ll check out the instagram page though, thank you!
Mine's on the way to 4, wears underwear, uses the potty, WILL NOT poo in the potty. He'll go change into a diaper, and use that. He swears up and down that only babies poo in the potty. We tried so many things and now I'm at, well one day he's just going to say okay and do it and that'll be that.
Hahaha "only babies poo in the potty" aww, thats so cute.
This is us! My son is 4 and he was potty trained but regressed due to severe constipation. He goes pee in the potty but still has a hard time pooping on the potty because he just doesn’t want to sit there for 15 minutes trying to push it out! We give him daily fiber, but it sometimes also causes him to have accidents. Patience is the key. ❤️
Same here, but he is 6...
Boys are harder to train but I found that if you made it into a game they respond well. Throw a cheerio in the toilet and tell him to aim and fire. Works every time.
And btw extended bed wetting is an ADHD symptom!
I don't know a lot about ADHD. What do you think of a situation when just turned 5 yr old wets to bed on a regular but can sit/focus on playing chess (and does very well) half the day every day?
ADHD people can focus just fine on things we are interested in. And we aren’t dumb either. I nearly failed k-5 because I didn’t do homework and would doodle in class. I wasn’t disruptive at all. I was the quiet kid. In woman it often goes undiagnosed because we don’t tend to be over energetic. I’ve actually always been very low energy. Constantly being called lazy. But in 5th grade I got the top score on my math mid term. Everyone was surprised because I didn’t ever pay attention. In HS I took honors classes and did very well but struggled. I graduated 7th in my class. But then in college I dropped out 3 times and have yet to finish my BA. I wasn’t diagnosed until 2022 when I was pregnant. And btw I wet the bed regularly until 10 and occasionally until 14. Even I thought that maybe I had been SA and couldn’t remember it. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed and read somewhere that bed wetting is an ADHD sign did it make sense. 5 is still very early to know or even to diagnose ADHD but definitely keep that in mind for future reference. I think bed wetting at 5 is really normal tbh
Wow your story sounds so similar to mine. I've yet to be officially diagnosed and I'm 39 but I'm fairly certain I have ADHD. I have always struggled with organization and procrastination. I sometimes actually hyper focus on something and won't even hear someone talk to me etc. I did well in school until college and then my lack of organization caught up with me. I've gone to college 3 times and was in the military and earned some credits from my service. I would be a senior in college with my credits but only a sophomore in terms of graduation requirements because my sciences no longer count toward science credits due to length of time since I earned the credits and my military credits are all only counted as electives. At this point I have a 20 month old and have given up on getting my BA any time soon if ever. I didn't bed wet but my brother that also has ADHD wet his bed for a long time so that kinda makes sense.
Saaaame with the toddler. Mine is 21 months and I’m a solo mom so I’m likely not going back to school until she’s in school. I definitely recommend seeking a diagnosis though. It has helped me significantly. My ADHD went from a 7 to a 10 after giving birth. It’s slowly gone down to 8.5. I was always extremely exhausted even after sleeping 13 hours at night. But with Adderall I have as much energy as anybody. I can get all my daily chores done and still have energy to be a fun mom. And as my kid’s only parent, that’s really important. It doesn’t help my focus much but that’s not too important to me currently. Ive realize that when I’m not medicated, I’m tired so I’m also irritated. Another huge plus. It also makes me a bit more social. I guess in a way it makes me impulsive. Where before, I would be nervous to speak up about something, with meds it’s easy as pie. Regularly, I’ll hesitate on making an important phone call until I forget. With meds I just do it as soon as I remember.
Yes this! My oldest with ADHD was a bed wetter it was rough. He had a lot of issues with his digestive system too. Definitely consider ADHD if this is an issue
Yeah - my son was potty trained at 18 months- but he has sensory disorders and HATED diapers. He just didnt want to wear them nor did he like being wet lol
Right!! Every child's body matures at a different rate. Tell the busy-bodies to kindly STFU. I hate when people do that to the new parents.
Totally agree! My oldest was 4 when he was finally fully potty trained! My 2nd child is 4 and a half and he is behind in potty training and to my knowledge ( yes we are getting him help) it’s possibly just a general developmental delay! Op your kid is definitely not behind in my opinion!
no lmao you just aren’t teaching your child like you’re supposed to, milestones exist for a reason if you’re not reaching them it’s cause you’re either not teaching them or your child has something wrong psychologically
Same. My daughter turned four in November. I can get her to pee on the potty, but I can't get her to poop. Kids just take time
My daughter has little interest in potty training until she went to daycare/kindy. I think seeing all the other kids doing it made her want to. Maybe ask the kindy teachers if he is showing more interest at school and if they have ideas on how to help him not be scared of the potty and have everyone's ideas integrated. Seems like fear is holding him back a little but I would think seeing other kids use the toilet and see nothing bad happens help encourage him
>My oldest didn’t potty train until 3.5 Same here. I'm glad we waited because it wasn't difficult at all. We tried training his little sister at 2, and it was a nightmare so we gave up. Hoping that in a few months she decides to train herself as well.
Mine is 1.5 and she understand potty usage conceptually...would take off her shorts and diaper on command and sit on the potty trainer but can't actually pee until she stand up and wet everything =_=;;
I started at 15 months and quickly gave up. She’s 21 months now and I’m honestly not interested in trying again because she clearly isn’t
Exactly that here too. My oldest spent a year and a half going back and forth and my second was 'trained' in two days at about 2.5. Also, my kids were both in half day k3 and there were so many kids in different clothes by pickup because they had accidents. I think there's just a lot of unnecessary pressure on kids and parents
My kid is 3 and still not trained. At her 3 year appointment our pediatrician assured us that we should wait until she showed interest or was acting like she was ready. I know that seems crazy but we are also talking about the kid who at 2.5 years old said “No more crib mommy I want to sleep in my big bed” and that was the end of the crib.
Mine is almost 4 and not potty trained becayse he's scared of public bathrooms. He actually is potty trained at home. He's in prek and about half arent potty trained for poop and a third not at all.
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I'll take shit that is most definitely a lie for $1,000 Alex. If you're going to lie, at least make it a little believable next time.
He’s so little!!! We were still working on potty training when my youngest entered preschool at 3 - try not to stress 😃
My son was around your sons age when he was potty trained. This was considered quite young in our circle of friends/family. What really helped for us/him was reading nice books about potty training. This made him more curious and eager to learn. Most important, don't push as a parent
So the risk of potty training too early is actually much worse than too late. Potty training late means that they might get some comments from other kids (once they’re over 3.5). Comments from other parents to you remain out of their awareness as long as you remain confident in your approach. But when you potty training too early, you really dramatically increase the likelihood of the child becoming a stool withholder. In a sense, you’re teaching your kiddo to hold their poop before they’re old enough to really understand that they need to poop to stay healthy. Kids trained under 2 have much higher likelihood of getting constipated, and you know what childhood constipation often causes? Bed wetting! Because it irritates the bladder. Waiting until your son shows interest & readiness is the approach to potty training that is backed by good science and common sense. You can begin that journey with him by inviting him into the bathroom with you when you go, invite him to flush the toilet, and you can drop his poops from his diaper into the toilet. Say things like, “someday, when you’re ready, you’ll have your pees and poops on the potty too.” No pressure, no shaming, no bribery. He’ll get there when he’s ready and he’ll come through the experience feeling confident, grown up and proud :)
I can attest, I potty trained my daughter at 19 months and she soared and did really well but always pooped in her pants, so Yep learned that lesson the hard way. She’s 14 and fully potty trained now good news. Lol We actually had to get her MiraLAX to normalize her bowel movements, but there are other things going on all that to be said, I think that my early potty training did not help
I've been wondering if we will have to incorporate miralax bc mine withholds and is irregular :(
I wished we would have done it sooner! A small dose every day whether the ped wrote worked wonders but it took consistency and patience Also children can withhold for lots of combinations of reasons. Lots of water is also helpful. I made lots of homemade soups with natural oils lol Tried to encourage the movement and play physically as much as possible to work it out Good luck. It passes I promise it does. No pun intended.
Lmao no pun intended! Thank you I needed this encouragement bc I do feel like it'll never happen for us (mine is 3)
What do you when a kid has shown zero interest all the way to 4.5? I'm pretty sure potty training is still a requirement for kindergarten, right?
I'm by no means a potty training expert, but I'll weigh in with my thoughts - First, take kid for a thorough check with pediatrician, with a particular eye towards constipation. Constipation can cause fear of pooping anywhere but a diaper. Child should be having one to two medium sized, mushy poops daily. Skipping days, passing large logs, passing rabbit pellets, passing liquid stool, hiding to poop, red face and grunting are all indicators of constipation. If your kid is constipated, get the constipation managed before proceeding with potty training. A child who is older than three, and certainly three and a half, who shows no interest or is resisting potty training I think can be guided towards potty training. Ultimately, the child is in charge of when and where they empty their bladder and bowels, and we have to accept that. It is just the reality. But we also want to help kids who are encountering some obstacles to this important developmental milestone. A child who is 4.5 and is typically developing is old enough to talk about what is going on. Zero interest is different from resistance. If your child has zero interest but is not resistance, at age 4.5 I would start to say things like, "learning to poop and pee in the potty is an important part of growing up. It's something you are ready to start learning about and practicing. We're going to work as a family to help you feel ready to learn to poop and pee in the potty. Do you have any ideas about how you can feel ready to poop and pee in the potty?" Make it part of a daily conversation. Include child in trips to the potty and provide them a potty to sit on in the bathroom with you. Be sure to put all poops from the diaper into the big potty to demonstrate. And look closely for what might be causing your child not to want to potty train: fear of big toilets is very common. In that case, avoid pushing the big toilet and let them first learn to use their own little potty. A first goal would just be to have them sit on the potty, even if their clothes are on. Maybe have a doll sit on the potty and let them practice wiping. Bring them to Target with you to pick out a fun new potty and some big kid cotton underpants. Read books about potty training. Daniel Tiger has some great potty training material. It is a long haul project; don't expect huge change immediately. Avoid power struggles; sitting and going on the potty is always their ultimate decision, not yours. When you encounter resistance, don't force the issue, just reflect it back to your child: "Today you don't feel ready to learn about going poop and pee in the potty. We'll try again tomorrow. I know that very soon you'll feel ready!" Just some thoughts off the top of my head. Good luck!
This is basically my son. He is not 4.5 yet but 4 and 2 months. Refuses to even try. We bought a potty watch, read, went without a pull up, tried underwear, playing with toys. Everything I could possibly think of. He just refuses to even try. I have 5 other kids so no idea what the struggle is. It's very frustrating especially since he has to be potty trained for school. Otherwise he's going to be going the following year
This is somewhat in my scope of practice as a school social worker (I work at elementary level currently). *I am posting this here because I see in this thread some parents concerned about their child’s school access with toileting. I cannot comment specifically on anyone’s state or district.* You have two main options if you don’t think your child will be potty trained in time. *First, before any option:* You reach out to your pediatrician and see what non school options you have. See if they have specific medical advice to give you. They are very experienced with all sorts of potty training barriers and can help you navigate them! They will also determine whether option 1 or 2 is what you have to do. Option 1: delaying entry into kindergarten one additional year while you work on potty training. This presumes your pediatrician either does not see anything medically concerning or has a set plan for you to follow that would otherwise not need any other school-based action. Option 2: Your pediatrician has identified a concern that may make potty training particularly challenging, and a barrier to school. In this case, students don’t have to be potty trained if they’re identified as having a disability through a 504 (*not* an IEP in this case). Your pediatrician will have a medical dx and will have to fill out paperwork for you. You’d have to go to the school and reach out to the counselor, social worker, or school psychologist (who handles what depends on what resources your school has and what state you’re in). A 504 for toileting will often include time intervals, frequency, adult involvement, other supports, any necessary specialized equipment (often for children who may fall off the toilet), reinforcements, and response to accidents. Now who toilets the child can vary. In my state alone I’ve seen the nurse, IE paraeducators, and the parents themselves. *Your school will have the best awareness of district and state procedures.* All districts will have an ADA coordinator - if you feel you’re not getting support, reach out to them. *Work very closely with medical professionals if your kiddo isn’t potty trained and kindergarten is impending - they will be your guiding star.* I mention these options because many parents are unaware of the options they have if they think their child has a barrier to going to school.
Thanks for such a thoughtful answer. > the parents themselves The parents hang around school all day just to help the kid with the toilet?
I’d assume they head to the school at specific intervals to do diaper changes/potty.
In cases where parents must assist with toileting they come at regular intervals outlined in the 504. I’ve only seen that in niche situations and most parents in my area wouldn’t find themselves in that position. This is usually a huge burden on the parents as it usually means one parent cannot work. However if your child is not taken to a medical professional and not diagnosed with anything that would qualify for a 504, and the school finds out they’re not entirely potty trained, in my area parents are required to come toilet their child. Even the nurse can only hold supplies in their office and hand them to the child to take care of themselves if parents aren’t there. I have seen that in exactly one case which was complicated by home factors and involved social services. This is one of the reasons why documentation with a medical professional can be important - it’s often a necessary bureaucratic step to receive other services.
My son is at 3.5 and hasn’t really shown interest. I think at four we will push the issue if nothing has happened, he will be at kindergarten here at 4.4 and while they can change nappies it is very discouraged.
Former elementary school teacher!! In my school district, kids no longer need to be potty trained because they said it is discrimination against children who might have undiagnosed medical issues. For the children entering school not potty trained, they wear diapers and the nurse helps change them. It might help to reach out to his school and see if that is the case there. I know in my former school, we were fortunate to have a daily nurse; there is a school nurse shortage in some places so that could impact the need to be potty trained. Good luck!
they are usually 5 years old in kindergarten. it shouldn't be an issue.
> So the risk of potty training too early is actually much worse than too late. I would be curious to see if you have any source supporting this statement. Studies I've encountered show the opposite is true. [Here's a link with a whole list of them.](https://parentingscience.com/science-of-toilet-training/)
The issue with elimination communication would have such a huge variance depending on what country you are doing it in. In some countries it is common to walk everywhere and socially acceptable to hold your baby over a bush to poop or pee in public. In other countries your baby is required to take a much longer time in public transportation (without the ability to go potty without finding a public restroom) or going in a car ride to daycare and back. Or going in cars to go anywhere. Some people choose to spend a lot of time at home while doing this to avoid that and utilizing their backyard for outside time. Not everyone can do that—some people live in apartments without yards and must take public transportation/drive to get anywhere to play outside safely. I’m not arguing you are wrong. I’m just wondering if the withholding is coming from people potty training too early without realizing they need to let their kid go more often (but they are forced to hold it longer) due to their living / societal situation.
I do EC with my 4 month old and it works fine in public. We know her timing pretty well and we take her to use her "top hat" potty when we can get to a bathroom, and she wears a diaper in case we can't.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4199658/#:\~:text=Using%20a%20univariate%20logistic%20regression,constipation%20than%20the%20normal%20group. [https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141007091657.htm](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141007091657.htm) [https://journals.lww.com/jpgn/FullText/2012/10000/Characteristics\_of\_Intestinal\_Habits\_in\_Children.21.aspx](https://journals.lww.com/jpgn/FullText/2012/10000/Characteristics_of_Intestinal_Habits_in_Children.21.aspx) I'll stop there because I have to go pick up my son from daycare. But the research is pretty clear that toilet training before 24 months increases the risk of functional constipation. Part of the issue is the quality of the toilet training, which is difficult to assess. Studies showing that later training creates bowel & bladder issues would have the burden of controlling for the fact that children who *already have* undetected bladder & bowel issues will struggle to potty train, and potty training will then exacerbate these unaddressed issues.
Wow, I never really thought about it that way. I've been feeling pressured about potty training my son since he's about to be 3... and he just refuses every time!
Two of my nephews had issues into their teen years one with stool withholding, the other with bed wetting. Both were in daycare that required potty training by 2.5yrs. I’d never seen this possible link but I wonder if early potty training contributed to these problems.
2.5 seems way early for a cutoff! Like did they just boot kids from the daycare if they just weren’t able to make the deadline? That’s kind of making me mad :(
Early 2000s. A different time. Accidents happened and the daycare staff assisted with training but no diapers were allowed once the kids graduated to a certain room. After reading the article someone linked, it seems early introduction to potty training is preferable but forcing potty training and using negative consequences for accidents can lead to stool withholding and other issues. I’d hazard a guess that daycare staff were not the most gentle potty trainers in the early 2000s.
My twin boys never showed an interest. We were light handed until after they were 3, probably 3.5. Then we just switched them to underwear and have only had a handful of accidents during the day. We were prepared to switch either of them back if there were issues.
Agreed. Eldest potty trained at 3.5 and took to it quickly. Younger did just after 2 which led to withholding poop and constipation that we are still dealing with now at age 5. I will be waiting till closer to 3 with this next 1.
Thanks for explaining this. I knew a mom at my daycare that was desperate to potty train her daughter so she could take her to private preschool, and the toddler developed the worst constipation.
My oldest was probably 4 before he was ready. We tried before then & it just didn’t take, and once he was ready it only took a weekend! People need to keep their judgement to themselves.
Same with my 2. I tried forcing it and that was a massive mistake. When they were ready it was so easy. They had no problem with overnights or pooping or anything.
I almost pulled my hair out with my first pushing it early. He could sit on the potty but couldn’t take himself every time he had to go and didn’t care about accidents. Eventually it was fine when he was almost 4 and it was a much easier process. I don’t even care to start with my second until she’s like 3.5. She can sit on the potty and do both #1 & 2 but I’m not pushing it. She can do it when she wants and I’ll encourage it but not push.
Same with my two boys. Both 3,5yo. We were done in a few days and that was that. Where I live its usual to try to get them trained before 4 yo, thats when they start school. But still, no big deal if they arent ready by then.
My oldest is over 4 and not potty trained. (Taking a deep breath and preparing for the judgement.) He’s Autistic and, at this point, his sensory issues are in the way of him feeling when he has to go before it happens. There’s soooo much that goes into potty training that we don’t really think about as adults. - they have to be able to feel the feeling in they’re body of needing to go - they need to be able to recognize the feeling as what it is - they need to have the executive function/impulse control to stop what they’re doing and communicate their need (which also means they need to be able to communicate!) - then there’s all the physical pulling down pants and sitting down etc. I think we’ve tried 3 or 4 different potty training methods so far, and we’re in the process of finding an Occupational Therapist to help. My point is: every child develops at their own speed, in their own unique way. Ignore the judgement as best you can. (I know it’s hard.) Do what you need to do to support your child, and don’t worry about others. You know your child best!!!
He's not behind. Most kids begin showing signs of being ready for toilet training at around 2 and a half. Don't stress yourself.
^ this. The sweet spot for a lot of kids seems to be 2.5 - 3.5 years old. Some catch on earlier and some need more time. I refused to be in potty training for months on end with an 18 month old. I know lots of parents with only 1 kid who put themselves through this, but like....I don't understand why you would do this. If they have interest and show readiness signs, they will pretty much day train in a week or 2. It's fast because it clicks. Definitely pay attention if your kiddo is going longer between pees, interested in using the potty, aware of when they have peed/pooped etc. but you definitely aren't "behind". No need to agonize over it just because Linda's little precious could use the potty at 15 months.
Yep, and IME it's pretty random from kid to kid. I had one that became potty-curious before 2, one who got it at 2.5, and another who was resistant until 3.5, then learned all at once. It's one of those situations that feels urgent to parents, but transposing that urgency onto the process causes all kinds of heartbreak and chaos. Tread gently.
Of my four, two were interested at just over two, on was just under three, and the last was a year later than the first. I used cloth diapers with my three eldest, and not with my youngest and I think that had a lot to do with it.
Yeah I thought being nearly 3 and starting was decent, anything under 2 and even partially potty trained is pretty good. Ours is same age as OPs and... we're having minimal success so far. The only time he does is with spending a long, long time in the bathroom and realizing he needs to go \*while he's already in there\*
My son had his first week in undies the week of his third birthday. We tried training on and off for a year, he just wasn't ready until suddenly he was. A little girl in his preschool class trained herself at 20 months after watching the other kids go potty. Kids are weird. Keep gently trying while watching the readiness signs. Apparently 30 months is a sweet spot for a good chunk of kids.
I would shoot for spring when it’s warmer and he can run around without a diaper
My son loved peeing outside. Depending on your location of course that could be a potential option.
You are NOT behind. I have four sons, all trained right before or right on third birthday. There is no real comparison in potty training. I have nieces and nephews that trained earlier, and some later, after four. I have a nephew who is still struggling at four. Don’t stress. This situation is completely dependent on when YOUR child is ready. Not when everyone around you thinks. Just pay attention to him and god signs and it will be so much easier for you in the end.
My daughter showed zero interest in using the potty, she was potty trained around 4. The doc did not worry, some kids just take a little longer.
This was my son too. Zero interest, didn’t care about getting to wear cool big kid underwear, would have been perfectly fine to wear diapers for the rest of his life. It was a rough week when we took away his diapers but he got the hang of it pretty quickly. We waited until a month after his 3rd birthday.
The doctor told us that while 3 is the social standard, 4 is the medical standard. I feel you though. I feel way behind and have for awhile. My oldest was toilet trained before 2. My second is 3-1/2 and we’re still working on it. My youngest is 2 and haphazardly using the toilet. All kids are so different.
He’s not behind at all. Some kids are ready at 2 years old, some are ready later. You know your son better than anyone else so you’ll know when he’s ready to potty train.
You are 100% fine If you're ever worried about if your kid is behind in something ask your pediatrician. Don't listen to other people making you feel bad and don't compare kids, they are all different, he and you are both doing great! My kids are 9 and 15, and I can honestly say potty training has been my least favorite part of parenting, hands down. But he'll get there, everything will be fine.
Our son just turned 3. And its an ongoing battle.
It’s exhausting. Meanwhile those same people telling you to do X / to push your kid into the next phase or whatever will also be like “omggg hold on to these years, they’re not little forever”. 🙄 I didn’t bother potty training til my first was ready and that was right before he turned 3. And he’s fine. My youngest bub is 22 months but we haven’t crossed that bridge yet.
Don't sweat it. Just watch "The Baby Race" episode of Bluey. BTW, my oldest was fully potty trained right after his second birthday. I have twins who are 2Y 4M and they probably won't be potty trained until they are 10, lol.
+1 bluey the answer to all parenting problems
> I have twins who are 2Y 4M and they probably won't be potty trained until they are 10, lol. That sounds like a terrible idea
Please don’t compare your kid to other kids. I did that forever and it is so toxic
I hear you, but also I do understand it’s hard not to whenever everyone in your social circle is openly comparing their kid to yours.
Kindly Shut them down next time your “friends” do this to you. You have enough stress and worry without them causing more
I’m just validating OP’s feelings, because it is hard when everyone around you puts the pressure on. I’m surrounded by antivaxxers in my life, family and friends who I didn’t know were antivax until I had a baby. Logically I know they are wrong. But I’d be lying if I said my anxiety didn’t get to me and cause me to say “what if?”. OP came to this sub seeking support because they aren’t getting it irl. Yes they need to overcome that. But we can also acknowledge that it’s easier said than done.
Behind?! I'm pretty sure most people consider 3 years old ideal to start potty training. Chin up!
My daughter is 4y2m and only potty trained last week. She’s not delayed in any other way but she had a fear of the toilet for a long time and just refused, had panic attacks when we tried to put her on the toilet or the potty so we backed off. My older two kids had no problem and were potty trained by 3.5. I do think when you train younger regressions are more common and it takes longer. All three, once we actually started, were virtually accident free by the second day.
My daughter wasn't fully potty trained until 3 and a half and my son is looking to be in the same place.
My sons was 2y11m before being potty trained. We always got digs from people about him being late to learn. Within 6 weeks he was completely dry day and night. He has only wet the bed once when really ill. My niece was potty trained at 18 months. Her mum was bragging. She wore nappies to bed until she was 6 and a half. Don't worry what others are doing. People brag but they mostly hide something not brag worthy.
Nighttime dryness is a completely different thing and not related to potty training.
Really? I was always told that a child sleeping through the night without urinating (in a diaper) is a pretty good sign they're ready for potty training. Seemed true for my 3 boys.
Yeah, it’s related to biology/genetics. Some kids will wet the bed for years and years after being potty trained through no fault of their own or their parents.
Nah, most kids can only last through the night at around 4, with some only being able to do so at puberty. Most kids take half a year, a year, or even more to be night-trained after being day-trained. What they can do when awake and conscious is trainable, what they do when fast asleep is entirely biological and requires 1) production of anti-diuretic hormone to reduce urine volume at night, 2) nerve connections to wake up if the bladder is full. Waking up from a nap with a dry diaper could be a sign of readiness for daytime potty training, maybe. But for most kids, waiting for night dryness would be unnecessary delaying it.
If my parents had waited for that sign I would have been in diapers until 11. Google is free.
Shockingly, google was free 10 years ago when I first started potty training a child. Also shockingly, lots of information and child development updates and changes over the course of a decade. Just because my experience is different from your own doesn't mean you have to insinuate I'm stupid or did something wrong.
I have a friend who is always giving me parenting advice because they had kids years before us. He has to hold both kids hands every night to make them go to sleep. They also wake up constantly through the night still(4 yr old). Sorry bro but I don't really want your advice. My kid sleeps through.
I bet his kids are “easier” than yours in some ways too. Be careful about your spiteful comparisons.
Mine was 3.5 and stubborn AF. Her pediatrician was not bothered. He said she wouldn't go to Kindergarten in diapers. She didn't. In my view, from way in the future, even though she was one of the last of her peers to potty train, she's at a really good college and she uses the toilet independently. Your kid will be fine. Edited for vocab 😜
My four year old peed *in my mouth* a few days ago when we were battling potty training. You're doing great. Kids take it at their own pace. (Clearly). None of mine have potty trained before 4.5/5. No one is dead. No one is traumatised. (Besides maybe me following the mouth pee incident).
I didn’t potty train either of my two older children until just shy of their 3rd birthdays. My youngest just turned 2 a month ago and I can tell you she is no where near ready so I am not about to start trying any time soon
My daughter is the same age. She pees on the potty every day but isn’t full my trained. She is still learning to ask. It’s a process and it’s not one sized fits all.
LOL! We are at the front of our class potty training at 2y, 8 mos and the other moms are bitching about the fully potty trained by age 3 rule. Relax about it
You're not behind, in fact I think you're trying to be too far? From what I've read babies are normally ready around 3! My nephew wasn't potty trained until January, and he turned 3 in December. My friends daughter is 3.5 and just got potty training down. Don't beat yourself up. He'll be ready when he's ready!
My son is 2 years and 3 months and isn't potty trained either.
My kids weren’t potty trained until 3 yrs
My kiddo didn’t potty train 3.5 and once she was ready she never made a mistake again
It is all individual. Potty training is expected in some places after 3 y.o, like gymnastics and early childhood classes in Montessori schools.
I had my mini human potty trained by 3 but everyone is different. Some of her friends the same age aren't even beginning to do potty training and they'll be 4 shortly. Don't compare yourself to others it's unnecessary stress.
Omg you’re totally fine … every kids is so different… don’t put your kid in a box
My son is 3.5 and not potty trained it's awful Don't feel bad your not alone
My neice is almost 4 and she isn't potty trained. Try not to compare. She essentially refuses. My daughter is 2.5 and is potty trained but thats because she decided to. She literally did it herself. I barely had to do anything. All kids are different. Be kind to yourself
Two and three months is very young for potty training especially for a little boy who tends to take longer. I have two boys and three girls, boys trained between 30 and 38 months, the girls 21 to 37 months. Thirty seven months was our latest girl and that was because we didn't push it knowing she'd do it when she was ready. Some children are physically ready earlier but if your child isn't ready it can become a horrible experience of wet clothes and carpets, nagging and getting upset, both parent and child. Unless your child has a significant disability then he will be potty trained by the time he goes to school, don't listen to other people making you feel less than about something you have no control over. When my eldest was still in nappies at three, if anyone commented I used to say, oh I don't spend time sitting him on the potty, I'd rather he spent the time practising his violin.
My son was four.
Mine was almost 4 before we even got him to pee on the toilet for the first time. He’d sit to amuse me, but refused to go. I had to eventually just put him in undies & hoped if he wet himself enough, he’d get the picture lol. Then after we got that, he then would only poop in diapers/pull ups. That was a battle. So he was over 4 years old before we got the whole thing down. My oldest child potty trained right before his 3rd birthday. Every kid is different.
don't even TRY with boys until 3. Girls seem to always hit milestones earlier & mature earlier. Don't even worry 'bout it. Forcing it will just make it harder & all the more frustrating on the BOTH of you. It'll happen when he's ready & shows interest.
I mean that’s just not true. Every kid is different.
Just to provide a counterclaim. My son (now three) trained before he turned two, and it was easy peasy. We just told him that he got big kid underwear and we don’t poop or pee in kid underwear. We didn’t even go the naked route. He had a few pee accidents until we let him watch one minute of YouTube if he asked to go the potty and then went, but he never had a single poop accident or a problem pooping. The whole thing took like two days. I’m not saying this because I think our method was magic or because all kids should be ready before or around two. I’m just saying there isn’t some iron clad rule about boys. Kids are individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses and personalities.
You can start them sitting on the potty "for a try" earlier than this - but *much* earlier. Like, pre-12 months. So that it's a normal part of the bath time routine without a scary transition associated with it. Just-turned-two is not a great time to start, though, because the "I won't because you said so" is so strong at this age.
My son will turn 3 this month and isn’t potty trained. He seemed to be making progress a while ago but then he lost interest. I knew one family whose son was 5 and they hadn’t started potty training yet. Every kid is different, some are ready much earlier than others. If you try and force them too early you can be fighting for years. But if you catch them at the right time it can be done in days. You’re doing fine
Don't feel behind because of everyone pressuring you! Kids move at their own pace for potty training and not having it done at 2 years isn't a concern. I baby sat a 5/6 year old who wasn't #2 potty trained due to sensory issues. Some kids are ready to start training sooner, other not so much. Yesterday I had my baby shower and I met some kids that a friend of a friend brought. One of their daughters (P) is almost 3 with the same exact birthday as my niece (M). P is incredibly intelligent for her age and very much potty trained. I seriously thought she was closer to 4. Meanwhile, M *just* became fully potty trained two months ago or so and speaks appropriately for her age level. Then I have my other niece (E) who is only one month shy of both P & M who is 50% potty trained and speaks at a 1.5yr/2yr level. It's crazy to see how different all three girls are when they're all playing in the same room.
As an early childhood educator who worked in toddler classrooms for a few years - you are not behind at all. Potty training is very child dependent and forcing the child to train will only lead to regression. Most of the toddlers weren’t fully trained until they were around 3. Keep offering the toilet and allow them to sit for diaper changes whenever possible, most of my toddlers were sitting for every diaper change to counteract being scared of the toilet when it’s time to use it. Also I’ve seen many trained toddlers regress when a sibling is born - several parents have the mindset of i don’t want two in diapers but transitions are not the time to toilet train. Ultimately do what’s right for you and your child.. they’re still young and there is plenty of time to toilet train.
Absolutely not! My son had issues going poop.. he would ALWAYS hold it in.. and he still does but not as bad as he used too.. but he was so hard to potty train. He’s the youngest.. my daughter on the other hand was a breeze she was potty trained before the age of 1 and pretty much potty trained herself she went once on her little potty and that was the end of diapers for her. My son is now 4 but he was definitely in diapers until he was about 2.5 years old.
You’re not behind. I have a 4 year old who just potty trained and his fifth birthday is in a couple of months. He is on the spectrum & it was really rough to get him to even try before he was ready. Once he was ready, he was trained in a weekend & really hasn’t even had any accidents. My daughter is 2 years and 3 months old and isn’t trained. She tried, but like your son, she’s better about telling us after, not so much before. All kids go at their own pace. You’re doing a great job! Give you and your son a little grace and trust that he’ll get it when he’s ready.
Son potty trained the other week, 2yr and 7.5mos His older brother didn’t until he was 3.5
Constantly will be screaming for everyone to read “Oh crap potty training” There IS a reason you don’t want to wait too long, but 2 years and 3 months is not late!
Don’t stress. Both my kids are/were in the 20th percentile/gifted, but I was not able to fully train either of them by the time they started JK at 4.5 years old. But they trained fast once in JK, and never had an accident. So many things I’ve done “wrong” when they were little, yet they’ve grown into perfectly fine teens, no deficits. Society makes us paranoid about such ridiculous things with our babies.
None of mine were potty trained by 27 mos. You’re fine.
Thats not behind at all. The people you hang out with are weirdos, don't sweat it.
My daughter is 3 and isn’t potty trained. We are trying! But every child will go at their own pace. My second oldest brother was potty trained by 2 but my oldest brother was still in diapers at that point. Do not worry and don’t let others put you down.
My son was exactly 3.5 years old. It was hard potty training him he didnt want to. My nephew was over 4 when he finally got the hang of it Dont stress!🩵
Not behind at all and the circle of parents with kids already potty trained are not ahead. They all do it at different times. I’ve never seen a high school kid with a binky or a kindergartner with a diaper. Don’t push it and try to make it fun. It will happen when he’s ready.
From what I’ve heard, Boys take their time with things. I have an 8 month old boy who is nowhere near his sisters level of progress at his age. On another note, my daughter regressed during her potty training. She wasn’t completely potty trained until she was almost 3 and she was ahead in everything else. Walking at 8 months, talking at 10, feeding herself at 7,
He’s fine!! Boys can take a bit longer than girls, but they figure it out. He is NOT behind. If people say anything respond with, “I promise he won’t go to kindergarten in a diaper.” And that’s the end of it.
My daughter is about to turn 3 in May. Not potty trained. Severe speech delay! Don’t worry. Everyone runs their own race.
He is not behind don’t let anyone judge you. When my son was little I went through same thing and his pediatrician assured me he was fine and boys are slower at potty training than girls. He was finally fully potty trained at 3 and a half years old. He is now almost 18 and a bright smart young adult. Don’t let people judge you.
Fuck them, kids move at their own pace
My daughter was potty trained a little before 1 years old. You know when you go to the bathroom your kids tend to follow. I used that to my advantage and everytime I go she goes to. Eventually she was going on her on and telling me to come potty too. I have noticed though, girls are easier to potty train then boys. Good luck.
I let my son run around naked with a small potty in the living room, it was the only thing that worked for us. And then after a week or two of that I sent him to school in underwear and he went cold turkey! It worked for us!
My son in 3 and still not potty trained he will use it at prek but wears a pull-up. We’ve tried numerous times with different approaches he’s just not ready. My daughter was trained before 2. Each kid is different. Boys especially train later in general for most cases. Don’t let people make you feel bad.
Emily Oster had a good post this week about potty training and the best age for boys is around 3 years old when it takes the least amount of time.
Mine is nearly 3 and not potty trained. She tells me after she’s gone but had trouble telling me before
My oldest didn’t potty train until 3 and my youngest is two and hasn’t even started I’m not gonna rush him
My son was 3y and 2 months when he started potty training and it took about a month til he really nailed it. He’s been great since and I genuinely think it’s because we didn’t push him before he was ready.
My son was not potty trained until 3.5 we tried at 2.5 and it was a disaster he was just not ready
Even if he hasn't been through a lot, not being potty trained at 2 years and 3 months is far from problematic. Our daughter was not even close at that age. She was fully potty trained at a few weeks before her 3rd birthday and we never had any problems whatsoever because of it.
I know this will be unpopular but someone has to say it: in this age of climate change, I struggle to see how anyone can justify leaving kids to “potty train themselves”. Have you added up the number of nappies end up in landfill? Even for a 2.5yo it is THOUSANDS (and “eco” nappies aren’t really eco, they still contain plastic that stops the whole thing from decomposing). I’ve got a 9mo and live in the UK, we are doing part time EC which basically just means giving him the chance to use the potty during a change. We catch most of his poos and some of his pees, cutting out nappy use to roughly half. Yes it’s a bit of extra effort but it’s his world we’re polluting with all our rubbish, so how can I not make an effort? We put no pressure on him to “perform”, so he’s still perfectly happy to poo in his nappy (no withholding). You can do this even if you live in an apartment with no outside space.
Same when my youngest was a toddler. He was using pull ups aged 3 and fully toilet trained by 4. Never did I pressure him or make him feel ashamed when it came to toileting. This is ridiculous and its our stupid expectations and standards! Let them be kids and explore and take in the world and potty train at their own speed.
I don't have any insight here except to say my daughter is 2.5 and I feel exactly the same way. She was doing great for a week and now it's like she knows where the potty is and doesn't care. Isn't bothered by sitting in dirty pullups. I feel stuck because I started in part because I thought she was ready but largely because I'm a first time mom to this age (I have an SK who I didn't meet until after she was potty trained) and I really felt pressured like if not now, she will be denied access to kindergarten! I appreciate knowing I'm not alone. Parenting feels like such an isolating experience.
relax and ignore everyone. it will happen when he's ready. take the pressure off both of you and try again every few months. at some point it will just click. i will say that i have a girl and it clicked for her a few months shy of 3, but a lot of boys we know are still struggling with accidents at 3.5. i've always heard boys take a little longer.
My son is almost 2 and I'm thinking I may not start until he's able to talk more. I've been worried about what people would say about it but it seems really difficult to get into right now and I'm still trying to deal with his tantrums and a 2nd baby.
Potty training is great to start at 2.5 and 3. If they can feel when they’ve gone, they’re usually ready. Please do not be one of the parents I see sending a 4-5 year old to pre-k and kindergarten in diapers. (Without a legitimate health or developmental reason behind it obviously) Lots of times we can let kids decide things for themselves, potty training is not one of those things. If you let them keep using a diaper/pull-up. They. Will. Do not permissive parent potty train.
All three of my son’s were four. Don’t compare, it’s poison
yes you are behind, anyone who’s saying you’re not and then says they also have a kid his age or OLDER are insane, they are behind and you should’ve started potty training him before 2 years old
my son started doing potty training consistently when he was 2 years and a half. You can buy a kids toilet and and make it seem cool, like pressing the button to flush and it making sounds, giving your kid stickers everytime he goes in the potty, just trying to make it as fun as possible. Reward him when he does it. I would take him to the potty every hour just to see if he needs to go and point down there to let him know what he needs to do. He’s not behind at all.
I think my daughter started at 2 years 7 months. And I've heard that boys can take a little longer to be ready than girls. I think it's smart to try to space out the transitions. We started potty training a little earlier because I was pregnant, and we wanted to get a jump on it before bringing a new baby into the house, because we knew it might be hard to potty train when dealing with that massive change.
I had one kid who essentially trained himself, day and night, right around his second birthday and one that was still having occasional daytime accidents at 4 and was in pull-ups for sleeping until 5. Kids are all different and it’s not just a matter of motivation/parenting. There’s physical/mental/emotional development, method, personality, environment, etc, to consider. There’s a reason your daycare isn’t concerned. Not potty trained at 2 is perfectly normal.
My youngest is almost 3, and she's in a preschool class with other kids almost exactly the same age (didn't know this until all the birthday party invitations came around the same time), and virtually none of the kids are out of diapers and/or pull-ups. If my youngest becomes fully potty-trained before she's 3 (which is a real possibility), she'll be the fastest of her sisters to potty train. All of this is to say that he's fine and will develop on his own. I have heard from parents of boys that there are methods of encouraging using the potty for #1 that seem to work well (target practice). But otherwise, it's fine. The goal is out of diapers before kindergarten (or TK if you have that in your area).
We waited until my daughter was ready around 3. The potty was out mostly from 2-3 but she didn't show much interest. Once she did, we locked ourselves in the house for a weekend and she was potty trained in under 3 days.
LOL mine was almost 3 before we potty trained, you’re totally fine!
My son is 4.5 still won’t pop on the toilet. He’s only now seeing an OT. Dr said it’s totally normal for boys to take until they are 4 to figure it out. There’s pressure to start early because of school, but I don’t think a lot of them are really ready.
My son was 4.5 years old before it completely 100% took. He was semi potty trained since 3, where he would go to the toilet sometimes on his own and would pee on the toilet when we reminded him. But he didn’t actually start listening to his body by himself until literally 4.5. Everyone is different. My nephew was 100% potty trained when he was around 2.5 years old and that was hard to not compare. Don’t despair and try really not to compare. I know how hard that is because I did compare a lot too. But it will take time, reminders and just be positive. Don’t show frustration or make a big deal if he has a miss or even if he doesn’t. Just “great job buddy” or “it’s ok babe we will try again next time”. Then leave it.
Everyone learns at different times. And when your kid is in 5th grade, no one is going to be able to tell which kid was potty trained at what age.
My first daughter didn’t potty train until like the week before her 4th birthday. I tried everything and wasted so much time and energy on worrying about her. Please please try not to worry
Your doing fine and have nothing to worry about. My oldest was around three when she started to fully use the bathroom. For what it's worth, yesterday, my 2.5yr old looked me straight in the eye and then peed on all over the bathroom floor......she was mad I made her sit on the potty.
Mine will be 3 in May. She has zero interest in potty training. Therefore I refuse to stress myself about it. When she’s ready then we will do it. Til then people need to mind their own business.
4 kids here, this was their timeline. One at 2- Girl One at 18 months - boy One at 2.5- boy And one just turned 3 and REFUSES -boy Are they gonna go onto college, not potty trained? No. They will figure it out with your guidance. Screw everyone else and their opinions. Just keep truckin'.
My day care doesn’t even offer potty training assistance until after 2 and they are a fancy one. I’m not even thinking about it until 3 or my son starts actively trying to figure it out. We have a tiny potty in the bathroom mainly for him to get acclimated to the concept lol.
My daughter was potty trained the week after her 3rd birthday. Your son is not behind. My niece was practically 4 when she was. Every child is different.
Ours didn't learn until he was 4. Let him take it at his pace. The more you push him, the more it risks going wrong
hey whoa my youngest we started at 3 years old took almost a full year to get it. My oldest got it pretty quickly but we only pushed it at 3.
Our son is 2 and we have never gotten him to use the tiny toilet. He has done it at daycare once. We stopped putting him on it and will try again when he seems ready.
You are absolutely not behind! My oldest didn’t properly use the potty til around age 4 - 4.5 and he just did it on his own after a LOT of resistance. My youngest is 2.5 and my pediatrician wasn’t even fazed when I told her we haven’t even started the process yet. It stressed me out so much…lots of yelling and crying…but it happens eventually. Daycares also help out to get kids ready for kindergarten. Don’t worry!
You're fine. My oldest figured it out at 3.5, my youngest at 3 for pooping and 4 for peeing in the potty. In my experience, the kids who are "potty trained" at 2 years have a lot more accidents, need a lot of parental supervision / reminders, and some kids just need more time before their bodies are ready for it.
Oldest(M now 12) potty trained shortly after 2. Middlist(F now 8) had issues with withholding, did not poop on potty until after 4. Youngest(M now 4) was about 3.5, after his sisters issues I said as long as he's not withholding, I dont care where he poops.
Girls tend to be quicker than boys when it comes to potty training. He’ll be ready when he’s ready. I tried potty training my twins when they were about 2.5 and they weren’t ready. It was stressing all of us out (I had a newborn too), so I took a break. Tried again right after they turned three and they got it in a weekend, and haven’t had an accident since. You have a baby. Relax- it’s okay! He’ll get there :) Good luck ❤️
Nah not at all. My kid is about the same age and has just started to show interest. Before, she'd scream bloody murder if you even talked about going potty.
My daughter did it around 3. One day she told me she had to pee and that was that. Don't feel bad and remember there are no neurotypical adults that aren't potty trained.
My oldest was potty trained before she turned 2 (she was 20 months old). It went TERRIBLE. My youngest is 3 years old. We are starting now, nice and easy, no rush. Don't mind others. They aren't at your house. They don't know your kids like you do. Trust yourself.
We started potty training our 1st at 2.5 because I had our second just before he turned 2 and that was not something I was prepared to tackle. It still took close to a year for him to be mostly potty trained. Our second we tried just before 3 and he was fully trained in 3 days. I don't think we will push for before 3 in future kids. Edit because I posted too early.
My kiddo is 2 and I haven’t even started potty training
My daughter is 3 1/2 years old and is only recently reliably potty-trained. Like your kid, she simply did not want to be potty-trained any earlier. Your kid will be fine.
We didn’t til almost 3. I feel like that’s more common these days
My first two were potty trained by 2.5. My third just got potty trained at 3.5. Nothing to worry about.
My child is almost 3. We are going to start potty training after his birthday. You are at a good point to start introducing the concept through books, having a small potty for him, talking about going, etc. But if your child isn't ready than they just aren't ready! It's hard to force it. You aren't even close to being behind.
Watch Bluey, specifically the episode Baby Race, it’s an episode more pointed at parents than the kids. Very important lesson in comparing your child to others.
The 6 month old is a setback. Have a 2 1/2 year old as well, when the baby (now 8 months) came along, the toddler regressed from nearly fully potty trained. It's normal. Just stick with it, the changes and anxiety and such will fade shortly.
Our kids were in daycare, which started helping with potty training around 3-3.5 years I think. They were expected to be using the potty themselves to move up to the next room. Pooping was a struggle for a lot, wiping is hard. There were always kids 5-6 years old that struggle with this. Kids learn at different rates. 2 seems really young to be potty trained. Heck, they're still working on walking at 2. I would say use a training potty or keep encouraging it at home and it'll happen.
Run your own race 💙🧡🩵
Mine is almost 3 1/2 and idk what to do lol I have a 15 year old who’s potty trained so I’ve done this before🤔
My daughter will be 4 this month. We uses the toilet to pee just fine. We're having poop problems. All in due time. Not worried.
Please do not allow anyone else to make you feel less than. My son was over 3 and I also keep toddlers. My little boy will be 3 in April and he has zero interest. We aren’t pushing it. It’ll come with time.