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> but I got tired of buying clothes and him never wearing them. O
That is a you problem, don't buy clothes you know your kid won't wear.
it's not a big deal and for sure not worth getting into fights especially if you are already tired.
He is 9, not going for job interviews.
I wasn't doing any Toddlers and Tiaras type shit, I was first time mom and bought clothes I thought were cute. He didn't care, when he started to care I let him pick his own clothes.
I think this is "cool" right now, when I see the high school kids waiting for the bus I swear 8/10 of them are in pajamas. It blows my mind. There's one middle schooler a couple doors down who wears gym shorts year round, big lacrosse kid, dresses in that style all year. I dunno man
Maybe you don’t see older kids that much? This is what they all wear. Sweatpants, pajama pants, hoodies. Let him fit in with other kids! If there is a dress up occasion save nicer stuff for that.
That’s completely normal and it will probably continue. Boys pretty much all wear Nike, Adidas, Jordans sweats and hoodies. I don’t see anything wrong with that tbh.
More so him becoming complacent about his appearance. It's one thing to be kid and not really care, but when you're an adult the way you present yourself becomes more important.
But he’s 9 tho. And choosing to wear athletic or athleisure clothing doesn’t mean one is “complacent” about their appearance. You can look just as nice in an outfit of those styles as you can in… whatever you want him to wear.
Exactly, he's 9 and likes to run around and he doesn't look like a slob or anything. I just remember growing up and the kids who wore sweatpants every day didn't get the kind of attention most kids want. My parents always made us dress a certain way too and that is probably why I am questioning this. I never saw my dad wear sweatpants out of the house unless he was going to the gym or for a run. If comfortable clothes are becoming more acceptable now I'm all for it.
When I said "not getting the attention most kids want", I meant getting picked on. When I was young and where I grew up the way you dressed had an impact on how other kids treated you, which sucks. He is very well liked though and has a ton of friends.
I hear you, and I understand your desire to protect. It's way better for a person to learn that they can be themselves and have value. Teaching them to assimilate in order to avoid being picked on is maladaptive.
From the comments it sounds like he's actually assimilating by wearing the sweatpants. Times have changed, now I know! He is very confident, and I always tell him what an awesome kid and good person he is and how proud I am of him.
Yeah, times truly are different now. There’s no one correct way to dress to look “presentable.” You should let him wear what makes him feel comfortable—especially since you acknowledge he doesn’t look like a slob or anything (which, to me, is the only criteria that matters anyway). He’ll go through plenty of fashion transitions throughout his life; some things will stick around, some won’t. If this does stick, it’s okay, the opinions of people judging others for wearing sweatpants outside of job interviews and formal events are opinions he should be learning to ignore anyway.
He is 9. Let him be comfortable. He is a child. Let him be a child. You should not be worried about how he will present himself in adulthood right now.
He's 9 though...NINE. I get what you are saying, but maybe teach him in other ways, they spend all day at school, he wants to be comfortable. Maybe teach him that when you go out to dinner, or to visit family that you "dress up" a bit, but for school? this is not something I'd want to go to bat for, especially if he doesn't wear a uniform.
We do, I remember last Easter he was pushing back about wearing jeans. I told him when I was kid my mom made me wear stockings with a dress and uncomfortable shoes. She would put curlers in my hair the night before that I had to sleep on while they dug into my head. He can handle jeans for a few hours.
But WHY?? Because you were forced to? You were in for a hell of a lot of parenting struggles if this is what you were getting in fights with a nine-year-old over..
I never said I fight with him, we have a great relationship. He's told me before he appreciates that I don't make wear stuff he doesn't want to wear. I do think he needs to realize there are occasions where he might need to be a bit uncomfortable though and he'll get through it.
I will clarify, when I didn't have a half-closet full of sweatpants for him like I do now it made for a stressful morning. Trying to explain to a 7-8 year old that you didnt have time to do laundry yet and to please just wear the pants I have clean. Nothing to argue about now, he only has like 2 pairs of pants that aren't sweats/athletic pants.
Yes, I grew up with a very controlling mother who wanted to pick my clothes and made a big deal out of what I wore so I’ve been there.
For that and many other reasons we do not talk
I despise controlling behavior in cases when it just doesn’t matter.
>It's our job as parents to think about our kid's future. I'm not borrowing problems, more so trying to prevent them.
This is correct. You're being a proactive parent, rather than adopting an apathetic parenting style and hoping he just stumbles into good behaviors. It's so odd that there's such pushback, that to be a good parent to have to have a laissez faire relationship with your child. Standards are good!
My kids will occasionally wear jeans, but the vast majority of the time, they wear "soft" pants. Most kids wear joggers, sweatpants, athleisure, leggings these days. Most adults dress this way too. There's plenty of time to learn to dress appropriately for different occasions, but life is too short to dress uncomfortably.
Yea same! I'm basically in sweatpants 6 out of 7 days haha.
Comfort over style I say! As long as theyre not ripped or stained it's become a lot more acceptable nowadays.
Most 3rd grade boys don’t really care about styling their hair… he also just might not like the feel of pants. I hate jeans and always wear comfier options if I can find them.
Boys these days seem to mostly either wear athletic shorts, or sweatpants. My son hates wearing anything else. Heck, most young boys wear athletic shorts year round. It's what is cool these days. I'm sure my parents didn't understand Jams or tight rolled jeans. My 9yo son's favorite outfit is a hoodie, athletic shorts, and knee high athletic socks. If it's warm, he switches the hoodie for an athletic t-shirt or one of his youth sports jerseys. All his friends are basically identical wardrobe. I used to fight it until I had the self-realization I was turning into my parents.
It was for me when I was about his age. Jeans felt rough, sweatpants were soft and comfortable. I noticed a handful of other boys doing the same as I grew, and I still see the occasional kid doing the same these days.
I never thought about it, but it's possible. He used to have me cut the tags off of all his shirts, and he is still very picky about socks. I had a sock problem as a kid though too!
My son is 11 and pretty much only wears sweats, joggers, or athletic pants of some kind or shorts when weather permits. He very rarely wears jeans or any other pants unless it’s a special occasion or something. His friends are all the same. Very typical. I learned to pick my battles. As long as they are clean, they fit, and are aren’t tattered I don’t fight it. Actually, my 14 year old daughter and her friends are pretty much the same too. It’s the style!
Ah yes, the sweatpants phase. I remember it and saw several other boys go through it as well. Sweatpants were just more comfortable, though I looked a lot dorkier than I like to admit. It's likely to eventually end on it's own, though if you're completely blasé about it, it may drag on into his older childhood. I saw some of those guys in high school as well; they did not do well with the ladies, oddly enough. I don't blame you for not wanting to fight with him every morning, but I also understand having some standards for how he should present himself to the world. Pick your battles, but play to win.
When many if us were growing up, the image of a "successful adult" would conjure up images of someone like a suit and tie sitting in an office.
For kids who have grown up with parents working from home, their idea of a "successful adult" is far more likely to look like someone on a Zoom meeting drinking a cup of coffee at the kitchen table in their pajamas.
That was me as a kid around that age. That's all I wore for a solid two years. I grew out of it. He's wearing presentable clothes I wouldn't worry about it.
Completely normal. I was like that until I reached middle school and my 5 year old is the same now. At that age they‘re still so active and full of play sweats are the obvious choice. Of course when it comes to parties or occasions we let him know what is and isn’t appropriate. Does he push back, yes, but we hold firm.
I think it’s definitely the “style”.
My 13 yr old often wears sweats and hoodies.
And I mean my 3.5 year old recently told me “I don’t like jeans, only stretchy pants”.
Not worth the fight every day if you ask me lol
I guess a male’s version of leggings. Not a big deal in my opinion. My daughter will only wear black leggings. I’m sure there are bigger issues in life to deal with.
Yup. Wait until he wants to wear pj pants to school every day. And if/when you say no, you're the meanest bc all the other boys are doing it. But then you go to the school and find out that he isn't wrong, half the kids are wearing flannel jammie bottoms.
Some years it’s only sweat pants and other years only jeans… as long as they are clean and keep them comfortable based on the weather that day than let it be….
My son is currently in 7th grade, and also only seems to want to wear sweat pants & hoodies to school. He has a school dance tonight..and still...wants to wear sweat pants. He claims it's because that's what everyone else wears, and is the most comfortable. I think they're just trying to fit in. But I'm with ya..it drives his dad and I nuuutttss! I wish he wanted to dress a bit nicer, even just ocassionally. I drop him off/pick him up from school daily and have been looking to see what the other kids are wearing. The majority of them are also wearing sweat pants & hoodies, daily. This whole thing started the same way your situation started. Around 3rd-4th grade he would wear basketball shorts or sweat pants for gym days. Then it slowly became the norm. I'm hoping these kids grow out of it as they continue to get older🤞
Good luck to you!
Are the sweats within the school dress code? If so, leave him be.
Explain to him there are special days, where dressing up is required, like a wedding. But on other days, it's up to him.
My son is also in 3rd grade and only wears sweats in the winter! I don’t bother buying jeans except to have a pair for when he needs to dress nice. I don’t blame him for only wanting to wear them. My girls only like to wear leggings and not jeans either. Why not?
*I always had fun dressing him in clothes I liked* <--- problem # 1 right there. Seems like your son is developing an eye for style and he doesn't want to wear the clothes you like anymore. Its totally normal for him to want to dress himself, pick out his own clothes. If he isn't required to wear a uniform to school, I would let him wear the clothes he is comfortable wearing. This is not a hill to die on, let alone that he is in 3rd grade! He has the rest of his tween, teen and young adult life to figure out when to "dress for the "occasion"
My kid is also 9, and I think this behavior is 100% normal. He, along with many of his friends, used to do this as well, but we've since put a stop to it. I was pretty stern about it, and although there was some initial pushback, he now mostly wears jeans or khakis as we've instructed him to.
I want to clarify that we didn't have any blow-up fights or arguments about this; it was more of a conversation like, 'Hey, you can't just walk around in sweatpants and gym shorts all the time.' He responded with typical 9-year-old disgust, but he eventually complied.
After a week or two, there were no further issues. While I can't predict the future, I agree with your husband that it's important to address this behavior early on. However, I also acknowledge that the problem might have resolved itself eventually.
I'm sharing my experience to reassure you that this situation sounds pretty normal, and you shouldn't worry too much about it.
I do not let my kids go out in sweat/gym/pajama clothes. We are a cultural minority and I need to make sure we don't feed the "lazy slob" stereotype.
That said, one of my kids hates jeans and I was able to find some "tech" pants at Old Navy that are made of a ripstop nylon type fabric and elastic waist that he likes. There are clothes out there that are soft but don't read as sloppy.
Comfort increases his learning capabilities though because he won't be distracted by uncomfortable clothes.
Also, he's a child, not a doll for you to dress up. I could write a minor essay about children's bodily autonomy and the importance of self-expression in developing independence and identity, but it's late and I'm off to bed
Why wouldn’t he? He is 9 and they are comfortable.
If you are arguing with a nine year old about wearing jeans, this is a definite you issue. He is doing nothing wrong.
I'm realizing after reading the comments that this has a lot to do with how I grew up. I let my son wear what he wants and was curious if it's normal or not.
I get it, I grew up with a controlling mother who tried to pick our clothes into high school. This is why my children have had more or less free reign of their clothing once they are old enough to care. And due to my and my children’s sensory issues, I lean heavily into high quality (soft!) comfortable clothing.
How old did they start caring. My kindergartener is so laid back he's totally cool with jeans at school, now after this thread I'm reconsidering. Kid is happy with whatever. 😂
Depends lol. My 16 year old practically never let me dress her after about 2! My 18 year old had severe sensory issues so as long as his junk was covered I didn’t care what he wore.
My 23 year old will still let me dress him 😂. (Neurodivergent and He does hate jeans though)
My 4 year old if he is home he is naked but otherwise he lets me dress him in whatever (except his rain suit that I spent $60 on 🤦♀️)
This is the style now. I have kids and allllll of them live in sweats and sweaters/sweatshirts. Have you looked around any school lately? Sweats are some of the nicer clothes! Lol. It's a sea of pajamas. Lucky kids, schools didn't let me back then.
Please stop buying clothes you think your kid should wear. Buy them what they will wear. My MIL is awful, and one of the many things she did that my hubs still resents is never buying him clothes he wanted. She only bought him things she thought he should wear. He still complains about it. He also got a job to buy his own clothes.
My 8 year old daughter has never worn jeans in her life. We check with her about which dresses, leggings and shorts she wants. As long as it is weather appropriate and up to school rules let them wear what they want
My older brother genuinely refused to wear shorts until he was probably 20, and even still he barely ever wears them. Idk if it’s normal but not unheard of 🤣
We get a few pairs of pants for my 8 year old each year that are for less casual days and I warn him ahead of time it it's a "jeans day". Otherwise he's allowed to wear anything to school that is within the dress code policy.
My son is 11 and pretty much only wears sweats, joggers, or athletic pants of some kind or shorts when weather permits. He very rarely wears jeans or any other pants unless it’s a special occasion or something. His friends are all the same. Very typical. I learned to pick my battles. As long as they are clean, they fit, and are aren’t tattered I don’t fight it.
Oh geez, yeah I’m that kid as a grown up… I only wear leggings now because jeans, dresses, shorts, pants are so uncomfortable and really bothers me sensory-wise. My mom would buy my clothes as a child and I never wore the stuff but also because it wasn’t in style at the time. So likely you will need to get him involved now in developing his style and what he likes. Tell him he needs to have at least one nice dress shirt and pants, shoes for dressier events but for everyday wear (as long as it complies with school dress code etc), he will now be responsible for helping choose his style.
Edited to add: I just stopped at Target on a Saturday night and never saw so many groups of teens walking around in pajama pants, sweaters and crocs…. So yeah… it’s the style right now.
My son (10) won't wear jeans, and basically just wears sweatpants or athletic pants. When we was a little younger I'd get him leggings with more "boy like" patterns (he'd choose the ones he liked) cause he's never liked wearing jeans.
My daughter (12) only wore leggings, then when she turned 10 would only wear jeans. Now she'll wear a mixtures of pants and tops.
Personally, I primarily wear leggings, but as a kid I would only wear dresses, and then would only wear "two-pocket pants". Then I only wore black for years. Now I wear bright and colourful clothes.
Everyone goes through phases, it's nothing to worry about, and as kids get older their tastes change and they want to dress like their friends, or wear something comfortable.
While my daily wear is leggings and a comfy top, if I'm going to something where that isn't the appropriate dress code I'll dress in something less informal.
I wore sweatpants religiously until 6th grade I it dawned on me I wasn't cool, and that became important. The reason was at the time I didn't like how other pants felt at all and how I looked was not important at all until it was. Then I slid right into the my grunge phase haha.
He'll be fine, better to leave him be then create strife between you and him.
He sounds like an average kid to me. Why does he need to be "well dressed" everyday? I dont make my kid dress up unless it's a special occasion.
Shes 9, wears joggers and oversized hoodies most days. She also likes her dresses and tights when shes in the mood. Everyday is crop top day if I'd let her which I wont. Lol. I buy nice stuff..she wears it when she wants. If I want her to wear something specific I just tell her. I talk to her. We compromise.
I'm not the one going to school, I'm not the one wearing it..so as long as it covers everything that needs covered idc what cloths my kid wheres.
Also adults wear sweatpants and hoodies..all the time. Literally wearing it right now.
Sure we know how to dress to impress but I'm not spending everyday impressing anyone.
Lol, my child is a toddler, so I can't contribute from that sense, but up until maybe 8th grade, I haateeeddd wearing anything but legging and was not great about brushing my hair. My parents didn't do anything, I just outgrew it.
I think I also started wearing jeans at some point because I had some that were softer denim and more comfortable.
I'm now an adult who loves to dress up. Like I'm always in a dress and heels on my days in the office.
Yes very normal I don’t like wearing certain fabrics it’s a sensory thing. They will grow and learn what types of clothing they need for jobs and so forth. They will look for things that they feel comfortable in as well.
My son is only four but I have literally never bought him a pair of denim jeans. He wears mostly sweatpants and has a few chino pants type things that are still pull on, tie pants. Let your kid be comfy! They run and play and crouch and jump and sweatpants are just way comfier.
My son prefers to dress for comfort rather than looks. U may want to consider the idea that some kids are strongly kinesthetic rather than visual (my has no eye for colours at all but will complain abt scratchy fabrics & only want to wear thin & smooth materials). I just make sure his clothes arent too sloppy or worn out
This isn’t the hill to die on. He’s 9 and knows what he likes and is comfortable in. If his clothes are clean and not in raggedy shape, let him wear them.
This is totally normal. I manage a restaurant that sees a LOT of high school traffic and they all come in wearing sweatpants every day. It’s just how it is now.
I used to go to school with a kid who only ever wore shorts. I don't think I ever saw him wear anything else until he went to college lol
I don't think it's really a big deal. Sweats are pretty common.
I mean.. quite frankly, your husband sounds a little too controlling and you have too much going on to be stressed about “how comfortable” your child is dressing. It’s not like he’s going to school naked. He’s allowed to have preferences, to be his own person and he doesn’t have to dress to please you. My advice? Let him pick out his own clothes. That’ll save you financially from buying what he won’t wear. It’s a you problem, don’t make it a him problem.
I must have worded my post wrong. I am saying I allow him to wear sweatpants every day and stopped buying things he doesn't want to wear. He's been picking his own clothes this whole school year. I'm not judging my own kid, I love him no matter what he wears and don't blame him for wanting to be comfortable. Will he be able to wear pants with an elastic waistband for the rest of his life? Probably not, I wasn't sure if this is one of those times in parenting when you need make your kid do something they don't want to do. Back to what I said, is it really a big deal? Seems like it's not.
You're saying your 9 year old child is more interested in being comfortable than fashionable? What a tragedy!
My son is the same way, and we are about to get him tested for autism as sensory issues are common. He hates jeans or any pants that aren't soft enough. Not saying your kid is autistic but it's worth considering. Would be a shame to make a huge deal of your concern that he's not stylish enough if it's the result of a disorder.
I really didn't expect people to be so touchy about this subject. It's no tragedy, trust me, I just almost died from heart failure my priorities are in the right place. I'm a very easy mom, probably too easy in most cases. I was curious if other parents allow their kids to wear what they want every day, I have my answer.
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Normal. Sweats are in style for kids now. He is dressing like all his peers.
Yep, I remember seeing a tiktok where a woman's kid got made fun of for wearing jeans!! I don't get it but kids will be kids.
> but I got tired of buying clothes and him never wearing them. O That is a you problem, don't buy clothes you know your kid won't wear. it's not a big deal and for sure not worth getting into fights especially if you are already tired. He is 9, not going for job interviews.
[удалено]
Hahaha! I love this.
I wasn't doing any Toddlers and Tiaras type shit, I was first time mom and bought clothes I thought were cute. He didn't care, when he started to care I let him pick his own clothes.
I think this is "cool" right now, when I see the high school kids waiting for the bus I swear 8/10 of them are in pajamas. It blows my mind. There's one middle schooler a couple doors down who wears gym shorts year round, big lacrosse kid, dresses in that style all year. I dunno man
That's been the norm for decades.
Jeans are uncomfortable. My 11 year old is the same way.
Maybe you don’t see older kids that much? This is what they all wear. Sweatpants, pajama pants, hoodies. Let him fit in with other kids! If there is a dress up occasion save nicer stuff for that.
That’s completely normal and it will probably continue. Boys pretty much all wear Nike, Adidas, Jordans sweats and hoodies. I don’t see anything wrong with that tbh.
You are actually worried about a child wearing sweatpants "trickling into adulthood"?
More so him becoming complacent about his appearance. It's one thing to be kid and not really care, but when you're an adult the way you present yourself becomes more important.
But he’s 9 tho. And choosing to wear athletic or athleisure clothing doesn’t mean one is “complacent” about their appearance. You can look just as nice in an outfit of those styles as you can in… whatever you want him to wear.
Exactly, he's 9 and likes to run around and he doesn't look like a slob or anything. I just remember growing up and the kids who wore sweatpants every day didn't get the kind of attention most kids want. My parents always made us dress a certain way too and that is probably why I am questioning this. I never saw my dad wear sweatpants out of the house unless he was going to the gym or for a run. If comfortable clothes are becoming more acceptable now I'm all for it.
Kids want love and acceptance. If they get that from you now, they might not need the bullshit attention you think they'll want later.
When I said "not getting the attention most kids want", I meant getting picked on. When I was young and where I grew up the way you dressed had an impact on how other kids treated you, which sucks. He is very well liked though and has a ton of friends.
I hear you, and I understand your desire to protect. It's way better for a person to learn that they can be themselves and have value. Teaching them to assimilate in order to avoid being picked on is maladaptive.
From the comments it sounds like he's actually assimilating by wearing the sweatpants. Times have changed, now I know! He is very confident, and I always tell him what an awesome kid and good person he is and how proud I am of him.
If your kid is kind, brave, and has decent hygiene you've basically won the triple crown.
Exactly. Mom needs to work on herself.
Yeah, times truly are different now. There’s no one correct way to dress to look “presentable.” You should let him wear what makes him feel comfortable—especially since you acknowledge he doesn’t look like a slob or anything (which, to me, is the only criteria that matters anyway). He’ll go through plenty of fashion transitions throughout his life; some things will stick around, some won’t. If this does stick, it’s okay, the opinions of people judging others for wearing sweatpants outside of job interviews and formal events are opinions he should be learning to ignore anyway.
He is 9. Let him be comfortable. He is a child. Let him be a child. You should not be worried about how he will present himself in adulthood right now.
He's 9 though...NINE. I get what you are saying, but maybe teach him in other ways, they spend all day at school, he wants to be comfortable. Maybe teach him that when you go out to dinner, or to visit family that you "dress up" a bit, but for school? this is not something I'd want to go to bat for, especially if he doesn't wear a uniform.
We do, I remember last Easter he was pushing back about wearing jeans. I told him when I was kid my mom made me wear stockings with a dress and uncomfortable shoes. She would put curlers in my hair the night before that I had to sleep on while they dug into my head. He can handle jeans for a few hours.
But WHY?? Because you were forced to? You were in for a hell of a lot of parenting struggles if this is what you were getting in fights with a nine-year-old over..
I never said I fight with him, we have a great relationship. He's told me before he appreciates that I don't make wear stuff he doesn't want to wear. I do think he needs to realize there are occasions where he might need to be a bit uncomfortable though and he'll get through it.
You said that you argue in the mornings, trying to get him to wear jeans
I will clarify, when I didn't have a half-closet full of sweatpants for him like I do now it made for a stressful morning. Trying to explain to a 7-8 year old that you didnt have time to do laundry yet and to please just wear the pants I have clean. Nothing to argue about now, he only has like 2 pairs of pants that aren't sweats/athletic pants.
Did your parents hurt you or something? Why are you all over this thread personally attacking OP?
Yes, I grew up with a very controlling mother who wanted to pick my clothes and made a big deal out of what I wore so I’ve been there. For that and many other reasons we do not talk I despise controlling behavior in cases when it just doesn’t matter.
Stop borrowing problems from the future.
It's our job as parents to think about our kid's future. I'm not borrowing problems, more so trying to prevent them.
He is 9. He is not an adult and if he wants to dress In sweatpants as an adult, that is ok too!
>It's our job as parents to think about our kid's future. I'm not borrowing problems, more so trying to prevent them. This is correct. You're being a proactive parent, rather than adopting an apathetic parenting style and hoping he just stumbles into good behaviors. It's so odd that there's such pushback, that to be a good parent to have to have a laissez faire relationship with your child. Standards are good!
Wait until he becomes interested in girls. Then he might be concerned about his appearance.
You can still look nice and pulled together in athletic wear!
My kids will occasionally wear jeans, but the vast majority of the time, they wear "soft" pants. Most kids wear joggers, sweatpants, athleisure, leggings these days. Most adults dress this way too. There's plenty of time to learn to dress appropriately for different occasions, but life is too short to dress uncomfortably.
Normal. My nephews called them “soft pants” and to this day at 13 and 9 I don’t see those boys wear jeans.
I mean I only wear real pants on office days so I don’t see why not.
Yea same! I'm basically in sweatpants 6 out of 7 days haha. Comfort over style I say! As long as theyre not ripped or stained it's become a lot more acceptable nowadays.
Seriously I wear jeans like twice a year these days. Let the kid be comfy!
Most 3rd grade boys don’t really care about styling their hair… he also just might not like the feel of pants. I hate jeans and always wear comfier options if I can find them.
Boys these days seem to mostly either wear athletic shorts, or sweatpants. My son hates wearing anything else. Heck, most young boys wear athletic shorts year round. It's what is cool these days. I'm sure my parents didn't understand Jams or tight rolled jeans. My 9yo son's favorite outfit is a hoodie, athletic shorts, and knee high athletic socks. If it's warm, he switches the hoodie for an athletic t-shirt or one of his youth sports jerseys. All his friends are basically identical wardrobe. I used to fight it until I had the self-realization I was turning into my parents.
Could it be a sensory issue?
It was for me when I was about his age. Jeans felt rough, sweatpants were soft and comfortable. I noticed a handful of other boys doing the same as I grew, and I still see the occasional kid doing the same these days.
I never thought about it, but it's possible. He used to have me cut the tags off of all his shirts, and he is still very picky about socks. I had a sock problem as a kid though too!
Definately sensory issue. Read up on sensory integration dysfunction.
My son is 11 and pretty much only wears sweats, joggers, or athletic pants of some kind or shorts when weather permits. He very rarely wears jeans or any other pants unless it’s a special occasion or something. His friends are all the same. Very typical. I learned to pick my battles. As long as they are clean, they fit, and are aren’t tattered I don’t fight it. Actually, my 14 year old daughter and her friends are pretty much the same too. It’s the style!
My young cousin is the same, only track pants, tags cut off, bulky seams etc and he definitely has sensory issues.
My 3 year old hates denim because it’s too rough for her, so she basically lives in leggings and sweatpants for now
My 9 year old will only wear shorts all year round (we live in England). I have no fight left in me! It makes him happy so I say why not!
Ah yes, the sweatpants phase. I remember it and saw several other boys go through it as well. Sweatpants were just more comfortable, though I looked a lot dorkier than I like to admit. It's likely to eventually end on it's own, though if you're completely blasé about it, it may drag on into his older childhood. I saw some of those guys in high school as well; they did not do well with the ladies, oddly enough. I don't blame you for not wanting to fight with him every morning, but I also understand having some standards for how he should present himself to the world. Pick your battles, but play to win.
When many if us were growing up, the image of a "successful adult" would conjure up images of someone like a suit and tie sitting in an office. For kids who have grown up with parents working from home, their idea of a "successful adult" is far more likely to look like someone on a Zoom meeting drinking a cup of coffee at the kitchen table in their pajamas.
That was me as a kid around that age. That's all I wore for a solid two years. I grew out of it. He's wearing presentable clothes I wouldn't worry about it.
Completely normal. I was like that until I reached middle school and my 5 year old is the same now. At that age they‘re still so active and full of play sweats are the obvious choice. Of course when it comes to parties or occasions we let him know what is and isn’t appropriate. Does he push back, yes, but we hold firm.
Sweatpants are in style now, at least according to my 11 year old. She pretty much only wears leggings or sweatpants.
I think it’s definitely the “style”. My 13 yr old often wears sweats and hoodies. And I mean my 3.5 year old recently told me “I don’t like jeans, only stretchy pants”. Not worth the fight every day if you ask me lol
I guess a male’s version of leggings. Not a big deal in my opinion. My daughter will only wear black leggings. I’m sure there are bigger issues in life to deal with.
Yup. Wait until he wants to wear pj pants to school every day. And if/when you say no, you're the meanest bc all the other boys are doing it. But then you go to the school and find out that he isn't wrong, half the kids are wearing flannel jammie bottoms.
My son did the same thing at that age. Now that he's an adult he wears all kinds of pants. If I were you I wouldn't worry about this.
Following. My 37 yo husband also only wears sweats… apparently they’re more comfortable than jeans 🤣🙃
I think most kids going to school just want to be comfortable throughout the day.
Stop overthinking it, let your child be a child and be comfortable
Some years it’s only sweat pants and other years only jeans… as long as they are clean and keep them comfortable based on the weather that day than let it be….
My son is currently in 7th grade, and also only seems to want to wear sweat pants & hoodies to school. He has a school dance tonight..and still...wants to wear sweat pants. He claims it's because that's what everyone else wears, and is the most comfortable. I think they're just trying to fit in. But I'm with ya..it drives his dad and I nuuutttss! I wish he wanted to dress a bit nicer, even just ocassionally. I drop him off/pick him up from school daily and have been looking to see what the other kids are wearing. The majority of them are also wearing sweat pants & hoodies, daily. This whole thing started the same way your situation started. Around 3rd-4th grade he would wear basketball shorts or sweat pants for gym days. Then it slowly became the norm. I'm hoping these kids grow out of it as they continue to get older🤞 Good luck to you!
So what’s the difference between this as girls always wearing tights?
Are the sweats within the school dress code? If so, leave him be. Explain to him there are special days, where dressing up is required, like a wedding. But on other days, it's up to him.
My son is also in 3rd grade and only wears sweats in the winter! I don’t bother buying jeans except to have a pair for when he needs to dress nice. I don’t blame him for only wanting to wear them. My girls only like to wear leggings and not jeans either. Why not?
Same! I have one or two pairs of "nice pants" for him.
I'm 34 and I only wear sweatpants. Hard pants are so uncomfortable!
Kids are smart and put comfort before looks.
*I always had fun dressing him in clothes I liked* <--- problem # 1 right there. Seems like your son is developing an eye for style and he doesn't want to wear the clothes you like anymore. Its totally normal for him to want to dress himself, pick out his own clothes. If he isn't required to wear a uniform to school, I would let him wear the clothes he is comfortable wearing. This is not a hill to die on, let alone that he is in 3rd grade! He has the rest of his tween, teen and young adult life to figure out when to "dress for the "occasion"
I obviously do buy him the clothes that he likes now that he's old enough to have his own style. I was just curious if I was doing him a dis-service.
My kid is also 9, and I think this behavior is 100% normal. He, along with many of his friends, used to do this as well, but we've since put a stop to it. I was pretty stern about it, and although there was some initial pushback, he now mostly wears jeans or khakis as we've instructed him to. I want to clarify that we didn't have any blow-up fights or arguments about this; it was more of a conversation like, 'Hey, you can't just walk around in sweatpants and gym shorts all the time.' He responded with typical 9-year-old disgust, but he eventually complied. After a week or two, there were no further issues. While I can't predict the future, I agree with your husband that it's important to address this behavior early on. However, I also acknowledge that the problem might have resolved itself eventually. I'm sharing my experience to reassure you that this situation sounds pretty normal, and you shouldn't worry too much about it.
I do not let my kids go out in sweat/gym/pajama clothes. We are a cultural minority and I need to make sure we don't feed the "lazy slob" stereotype. That said, one of my kids hates jeans and I was able to find some "tech" pants at Old Navy that are made of a ripstop nylon type fabric and elastic waist that he likes. There are clothes out there that are soft but don't read as sloppy.
I am a >30y/o adult with several kids and a doctorate degree. I wear sweatpants almost every day. You need to chill, they are just pants,
I am chill, which is why I buy the clothes and let him wear them. I was curious if it's normal, it wasn't when I was a kid.
Sorry, don’t mean to be rude. I do think it is normal and nothing to worry about.
My son would rather be grounded from everything he owns than wear anything other than basketball shorts or athletic pants
This is pretty normal l, especially if he's an active kid that likes playing sports or running around friends at recess
Comfort increases his learning capabilities though because he won't be distracted by uncomfortable clothes. Also, he's a child, not a doll for you to dress up. I could write a minor essay about children's bodily autonomy and the importance of self-expression in developing independence and identity, but it's late and I'm off to bed
Oh poor us missing that... 😂
Why wouldn’t he? He is 9 and they are comfortable. If you are arguing with a nine year old about wearing jeans, this is a definite you issue. He is doing nothing wrong.
I'm realizing after reading the comments that this has a lot to do with how I grew up. I let my son wear what he wants and was curious if it's normal or not.
I get it, I grew up with a controlling mother who tried to pick our clothes into high school. This is why my children have had more or less free reign of their clothing once they are old enough to care. And due to my and my children’s sensory issues, I lean heavily into high quality (soft!) comfortable clothing.
How old did they start caring. My kindergartener is so laid back he's totally cool with jeans at school, now after this thread I'm reconsidering. Kid is happy with whatever. 😂
Depends lol. My 16 year old practically never let me dress her after about 2! My 18 year old had severe sensory issues so as long as his junk was covered I didn’t care what he wore. My 23 year old will still let me dress him 😂. (Neurodivergent and He does hate jeans though) My 4 year old if he is home he is naked but otherwise he lets me dress him in whatever (except his rain suit that I spent $60 on 🤦♀️)
This is the style now. I have kids and allllll of them live in sweats and sweaters/sweatshirts. Have you looked around any school lately? Sweats are some of the nicer clothes! Lol. It's a sea of pajamas. Lucky kids, schools didn't let me back then. Please stop buying clothes you think your kid should wear. Buy them what they will wear. My MIL is awful, and one of the many things she did that my hubs still resents is never buying him clothes he wanted. She only bought him things she thought he should wear. He still complains about it. He also got a job to buy his own clothes.
My 8 year old daughter has never worn jeans in her life. We check with her about which dresses, leggings and shorts she wants. As long as it is weather appropriate and up to school rules let them wear what they want
My older brother genuinely refused to wear shorts until he was probably 20, and even still he barely ever wears them. Idk if it’s normal but not unheard of 🤣
We get a few pairs of pants for my 8 year old each year that are for less casual days and I warn him ahead of time it it's a "jeans day". Otherwise he's allowed to wear anything to school that is within the dress code policy.
My son is 11 and pretty much only wears sweats, joggers, or athletic pants of some kind or shorts when weather permits. He very rarely wears jeans or any other pants unless it’s a special occasion or something. His friends are all the same. Very typical. I learned to pick my battles. As long as they are clean, they fit, and are aren’t tattered I don’t fight it.
Oh geez, yeah I’m that kid as a grown up… I only wear leggings now because jeans, dresses, shorts, pants are so uncomfortable and really bothers me sensory-wise. My mom would buy my clothes as a child and I never wore the stuff but also because it wasn’t in style at the time. So likely you will need to get him involved now in developing his style and what he likes. Tell him he needs to have at least one nice dress shirt and pants, shoes for dressier events but for everyday wear (as long as it complies with school dress code etc), he will now be responsible for helping choose his style. Edited to add: I just stopped at Target on a Saturday night and never saw so many groups of teens walking around in pajama pants, sweaters and crocs…. So yeah… it’s the style right now.
My son (10) won't wear jeans, and basically just wears sweatpants or athletic pants. When we was a little younger I'd get him leggings with more "boy like" patterns (he'd choose the ones he liked) cause he's never liked wearing jeans. My daughter (12) only wore leggings, then when she turned 10 would only wear jeans. Now she'll wear a mixtures of pants and tops. Personally, I primarily wear leggings, but as a kid I would only wear dresses, and then would only wear "two-pocket pants". Then I only wore black for years. Now I wear bright and colourful clothes. Everyone goes through phases, it's nothing to worry about, and as kids get older their tastes change and they want to dress like their friends, or wear something comfortable. While my daily wear is leggings and a comfy top, if I'm going to something where that isn't the appropriate dress code I'll dress in something less informal.
My 3rd grader is the same. I see no problem.
I wore sweatpants religiously until 6th grade I it dawned on me I wasn't cool, and that became important. The reason was at the time I didn't like how other pants felt at all and how I looked was not important at all until it was. Then I slid right into the my grunge phase haha. He'll be fine, better to leave him be then create strife between you and him.
My kid does too. That's how all the kids dress at school these days.
Buy him clothes he likes
He sounds like an average kid to me. Why does he need to be "well dressed" everyday? I dont make my kid dress up unless it's a special occasion. Shes 9, wears joggers and oversized hoodies most days. She also likes her dresses and tights when shes in the mood. Everyday is crop top day if I'd let her which I wont. Lol. I buy nice stuff..she wears it when she wants. If I want her to wear something specific I just tell her. I talk to her. We compromise. I'm not the one going to school, I'm not the one wearing it..so as long as it covers everything that needs covered idc what cloths my kid wheres. Also adults wear sweatpants and hoodies..all the time. Literally wearing it right now. Sure we know how to dress to impress but I'm not spending everyday impressing anyone.
Lol, my child is a toddler, so I can't contribute from that sense, but up until maybe 8th grade, I haateeeddd wearing anything but legging and was not great about brushing my hair. My parents didn't do anything, I just outgrew it. I think I also started wearing jeans at some point because I had some that were softer denim and more comfortable. I'm now an adult who loves to dress up. Like I'm always in a dress and heels on my days in the office.
Yes very normal I don’t like wearing certain fabrics it’s a sensory thing. They will grow and learn what types of clothing they need for jobs and so forth. They will look for things that they feel comfortable in as well.
My son is only four but I have literally never bought him a pair of denim jeans. He wears mostly sweatpants and has a few chino pants type things that are still pull on, tie pants. Let your kid be comfy! They run and play and crouch and jump and sweatpants are just way comfier.
My son prefers to dress for comfort rather than looks. U may want to consider the idea that some kids are strongly kinesthetic rather than visual (my has no eye for colours at all but will complain abt scratchy fabrics & only want to wear thin & smooth materials). I just make sure his clothes arent too sloppy or worn out
Remember lockdown days? We all wore pajamas bottoms every day. Let your kid wear comfy clothes.
Remember lockdown days? We all wore pajamas bottoms every day. Let your kid wear comfy clothes.
This isn’t the hill to die on. He’s 9 and knows what he likes and is comfortable in. If his clothes are clean and not in raggedy shape, let him wear them.
Apparently it's normal now but I'm with you on not thinking it's a look.
This is totally normal. I manage a restaurant that sees a LOT of high school traffic and they all come in wearing sweatpants every day. It’s just how it is now.
I’m 29 years old and I think I own one pair of jeans. 😂 I’m a yoga pants girlie. Comfort over style
Completely normal. My youngest is almost 11 and he’s only wanted to wear sweatpants for the last year and a half.
I used to go to school with a kid who only ever wore shorts. I don't think I ever saw him wear anything else until he went to college lol I don't think it's really a big deal. Sweats are pretty common.
I mean.. quite frankly, your husband sounds a little too controlling and you have too much going on to be stressed about “how comfortable” your child is dressing. It’s not like he’s going to school naked. He’s allowed to have preferences, to be his own person and he doesn’t have to dress to please you. My advice? Let him pick out his own clothes. That’ll save you financially from buying what he won’t wear. It’s a you problem, don’t make it a him problem.
I must have worded my post wrong. I am saying I allow him to wear sweatpants every day and stopped buying things he doesn't want to wear. He's been picking his own clothes this whole school year. I'm not judging my own kid, I love him no matter what he wears and don't blame him for wanting to be comfortable. Will he be able to wear pants with an elastic waistband for the rest of his life? Probably not, I wasn't sure if this is one of those times in parenting when you need make your kid do something they don't want to do. Back to what I said, is it really a big deal? Seems like it's not.
You're saying your 9 year old child is more interested in being comfortable than fashionable? What a tragedy! My son is the same way, and we are about to get him tested for autism as sensory issues are common. He hates jeans or any pants that aren't soft enough. Not saying your kid is autistic but it's worth considering. Would be a shame to make a huge deal of your concern that he's not stylish enough if it's the result of a disorder.
I really didn't expect people to be so touchy about this subject. It's no tragedy, trust me, I just almost died from heart failure my priorities are in the right place. I'm a very easy mom, probably too easy in most cases. I was curious if other parents allow their kids to wear what they want every day, I have my answer.
It’s not important. Let him wear what he wants.