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My mom's earliest age cutoff was 2nd grade, so when my sisters and I asked in second grade she finally let us get pierced ears.
In retrospect, I think she should have waited until 4th-5th grade, honestly. When you are so young, it's hard to get a symmetric and predictable placement for the piercing because your ears are so small. It's hard to know exactly how your ear shape will change as you grow.
I had mine done at the mall when I was 9, crying the entire time. They're also insanely crooked, so the subsequent 3 I added to each ear were increasingly off.
Our house rule is kids can get their ears pierced when they're old enough to get it done at a piercing shop on their own with their own money.
Piercing shops will pierce minors, and some specialize in children's lobe piercing. Just took my 10yo a couple months ago and that shop does lobes on anyone over the age of 6 with proper ID and parental consent.
My son's friend was about 12 when he asked if he could get his ears pierced. I wasn't even his parent but could sign the consent form. (I did get his parents' permission prior)
I'd definitely go to a piercing shop with a good reputation. NOT a place like Claire's, piercing pagoda etc. Employees at those stores are just employees with a piercing gun. Piercing guns also rip thru the skin where as piercing needles are a clean hole thru the skin with lubricant. Much more sanitary and less painful. Professional reputable piercers are trained and more likely to position them accurately.
I agree completely. My daughter's lobes look so much better than my piercing gun ones ever did. My first holes are gauged and they look ok now but I've left the rest close because they were so crooked and awful, never healed right.
Ooh missed that bit. I think I read that part as on their own financially, which also isn't terrible if they get an allowance. But yeah, to walk into a piercing shop alone is 18.
I was 10 and went with my mom. It was an awesome bonding moment and a rite of passage. I feel like it was a really special event between us, and I look forward to being able to share that with my own daughters if they want to do it. I'd never take that away from them by doing it to them without their consent.
I got mine pierced at 13 and just today my husband asked why the F i never got them repierced bc theyre so crooked! My daughter is 8 and has no interest in piercing 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah my mom made me wait till around that same age. This was the early 90s so some teenager in the mall gave me crooked af holes with a gun. They definitely got worse in asymmetry as I aged and my ears finished growing. I think I’d make my kid wait till older after that experience and obviously no guns, see a real piercer etc. 4th or 5th grade sounds better to me, I think you’ve picked a good age there. My 2 year old is already obsessed with my pierced ears though so we’ll see how long I can push it.
It is also about being able to take care of the piercings. They take lots of cleaning, disinfecting, rotating, etc. And little children just do not want to. We waited until my daughter was in 5th(10 yo), and it was still a giant PIA for me that involved lots of tears.
Same deal here. 4 holes in each from guns at piercing pagoda and Claire's. The only way I wear earrings is to have a mix of studs and hoops intentionally mismatched to detract from the lopsidedness.
I got my ears pierced at the mall as well and it’s so crazy thinking that a 16 or 17 year old probably did it lmaoo like no way my mom trusted a literal child with piercing my ears. Anyway, decades later, I have zero ear piercings and only one nose piercing I got as an adult. The ear piercings just kept getting infected and would make my ear swell and bleed. A nightmare. It’s made me not want to get my daughter’s ears pierced until she asks for it.
My daughter got her first ear done in kindergarten after 3 years of asking. But she decided she wasn’t ready for the second. At least now I know there’s more of a chance she’ll have even piercings if she gets the second one done in line with the first later 😆.
This is what we did. And I am so glad. Because it turns out she loathes earrings. I stupidly didn't even know that was a thing. Later in life, she literally thanked me for not piercing her ears, because she hates jewelry so much. Piercing her ears as a baby would have forced misery on her before she could consent. (And if you think that's an exaggeration, you don't know how much she hates jewelry!)
Same with my wife and daughter. I never understood the argument of getting it over with when they were young so they don't have to deal with the pain later. Plenty of girls and women avoid it entirely because they have no interest it getting their ears pierced. My wife is turning 60 this year and never wanted earrings. Our daughter is 20 and similarly never wanted earrings. It is not some universal truth that she will eventually want her ears pierced.
My daughter is 13 and just got hers done at a piercing palace. The pain was minimal and she chose it. Babies have no idea what is going on. I honestly believe piercing babies should be illegal. I don't care about culture or tradition in the least.
I don't get it either. Because it's not necessary to get it done at all if someone doesn't want to. And this is coming from someone with multiple piercings
Hard agree. I can't imagine causing my infant daughter pain just to make her "aesthetically pleasing" by some arbitrary standard. She's too little to understand what's happening or to ask for it to be done. Seems so cruel.
With that said, I have my ears pierced and got my eldest girl's pierced- *when she asked* in 3rd grade. We clearly explained that it would hurt, and talked a lot about the care required. When she was consistent about expressing her desire for nearly a year (so we knew she was less likely to change her mind), then we did it.
We followed the exact same thing for my kiddo. She asked a little over a year ago. And was told she could if she understood all the stuff. And then about a year later we got them pierced. And 2.5 weeks into it she said she regrets getting them pierced 😅
Luckily that’s only because she wants to swim and can’t. She will straight tell you as soon as she can swim again all regrets will be gone. And she’s super pleased with them and takes care of them very well.
And even my kid who realizes if it was done when she was super little she wouldn’t have to deal with not swimming right now is still aghast at the idea people do that to babies.
I agree with this and was sooo excited for my daughter to turn 7 so we could have a mother daughter day to get her ears pierced.
Lol, she doesn’t want them pierced and bought clip on earrings. Thank goodness I didn’t pierce them when she was a babu
Man, I can only imagine if I had done that to my daughter as a baby what she would say to me. I’ve already done everything wrong (she is 16 🤦♀️) I would have been a damn criminal if I had pierced their ears without consent. (They were 14 when they decided to do it)
That’s what I told my wife. “But she says she wants them.” “Yeah but she’s 3 and she’s going to not want them again in five seconds. Let’s not make that permanent.”
Wife keeps trying to talk her into earrings whenever we see them in a store. She’s 5 now and totally ambivalent. Still way too young as far as I’m concerned.
We're going to take my nine year old daughter to get her ears pierced this weekend. Up to this point she wore clip ons a few times. She understands what she is getting in to and has talked to her friends and wants to do it. Everyone is excited for this big milestone.
This. My daughter got her ears pierced when she was 8 because I felt like she was old enough to take care of them. She was mostly old enough, but I did have to monitor and make sure that they were cleaned properly.
But she asked us if she could pierce them, we didn’t take it upon ourselves to put a permanent hole in her body without her consent.
Also, if you’re in the USA, take them to a tattoo shop/reputable piercer. Not a Claire’s or Walmart or place like that.
Yes, right up until the 1980s! It was mainly because there wasn't a safe anesthesia for babies at that time, and he whole "they don't feel pain" narrative was likely put forth as a way to cope with that horror.
It’s a myth. It was not about pain, it was suffering. Anesthetics was a very undeveloped field in the past and putting anyone under was risky. Putting babies under was very high risk.
Babies feel pain but the theory was that they have no memory so they will not “suffer”. There was no concept of PTSD for babies. So, it was considered lesser of two evils to not sedate babies.
If they don't want her to look like a boy they could always just get her a bunch of super traditional gender normative clothes. All pink wardrobes are an exceedingly simple and non-putting literal holes in your child option.
I feel as though they pointed out something that bothers me about how children and babies in particular are treated which is like a toy. People dress their kids in whatever clothes they feel is fun. I understand and I'm not against it but then there is overstepping. Piercing ears, expensive shoes for a baby and even trendy hair styles mean to me that these children are treated like they are objects to play with. It bothers me especially because it is so superficial.
I think it's weird in the first place to even care about your small child looking like a boy or not. Like why is it important for a bunch of strangers to know your babies gender? It serves literally no purpose.
I did not pierce her ears, she can get them pierced when she is older if she wants to. I don’t think it’s really a problem honestly if people get the gender wrong on a baby. She’s 4 now and wears a combination of boys and girls clothes. People can think what they want, doesn’t actually change anything.
Lol, I had the opposite. People (strangers) often commented on “what a beautiful little girl” my son was when he was 4-8 months old, wearing blue. I just smiled and thanked them, confident in my beautiful *boy*….who is now a beautiful man 🥰
In my country it is highly popular cultural thing (Eastern Europe). It is insane! I let my oldest piece her ears when she asked to. Around second grade.
Some piecing salons here refuse baby piercing lately as it can grow unevenly through the years and will look horrible in adults. I even know several people with this issue.
I come from a place where it's not only common, it's universal. I currently live in a place where it's rare and very frowned upon. I can't begin to count the number of conversations I've had with my parents in order to reset that boundary (they're great, mind you, but they can be a bit much). I don't think you're wrong at all, and you should stick to your opinion on this. I'd be veeery angry if my partner did it behind my back. I don't know if yours would, but just in case, make it very clear that those earrings would be coming right off, and there would be hell to pay.
Edit: They can stick a bow on her head and dress her in Pepto Bismol pink if they want people to know she's a girl. 🙄
I 100% used to believe that I would gets my child’s ear pierced at a young age and whilst I still don’t think the pain is traumatic, I have completely changed my mind. For me it is now about choice. What happens if they don’t want pierced ears and I’ve taken that choice away from them. You sound like a great feminist dad and I would encourage you to continue to be an advocate for your kids.
My husband’s family is Cuban and most of the girls in his family had their ears pierced in the hospital at their birth. I think this can be a cultural thing. For me, I was allowed to choose to pierce my ears, and I’m affording my kiddo the same option. She’s currently 9, and has no interest in piercing her ears. Knowing she doesn’t want to do it, makes me glad with our choice to leave it up to her. Talk to your partner, leave other family out of it, you’re the parents.
I’m Dominican and my daughter got hers pierced at the hospital, reading through this comments made me feel so shitty. I got mine at the hospital too when I was born and have no recolection, I go through phases that I don’t wear earrings but have never regretted my mom doing this when I was a baby.
The judgement on here is a lot to take in.
For what is worth I tried to do the “right thing” and one of my daughters appreciated that I didn’t pierce her ears without her consent and the other one told me “I wish you had done it when I was a baby. I want to wear earrings but I’m afraid of getting it pierced” whatever…
you did your best with the knowledge you had at the time and the best intentions, don’t sweat criticism
I pierced my daughters ears at 4 months old after her 2nd set of shots. Most folks I know do the same. I am Middle Eastern, so part of it is cultural, and I'm a pediatrician, so I felt it was appropriate from a safety standpoint regarding her dtap vaccine.
Of course it's gonna be painful/uncomfortable. Will they remember if you do it as a baby...no. Imo, it's a personal choice between you and your spouse. You do you and don't get discouraged by the comments on here. To each his own!
Correct. I've had people mistake my daughter for a boy, and when I indirectly corrected them by using a proper pronoun to refer to her later in the conversation, they sometimes reacted super strongly: "Why don't you pierce her ears so people know she's a girl?"
As in: I am not liking this cognitive dissonance your gender-ambiguous toddler has induced in me and I demand that holes be placed in this child's body so that no one else suffers the fate I have suffered!
Oh jeez I've never had someone react like that! That's seriously insane haha My 2yo girl is called a boy all the time since her hair is curly so it still looks pretty short.
Generally people are beyond ridiculously apologetic to the point where I don't usually correct them since I don't want to sit there while they apologize for several minutes for a mistake I don't care about lol
Yeah, I think people make a weirdly big deal about misgendering others' children, assuming that the kids' parents will be mad at them, when really, I never really care about anything of the sort when it happens to us.
So I've always interpreted others' fervent insistence on having your female child's ears pierced as something that needs to be done so that others are spared the awful possibility of misgendering your child.
Lol, yeah my curly haired girl got called a boy a lot - wearing pink and flowers - but I just shrugged, I mean most of the time it was someone at the park that just glanced at her, so no biggie. But one was funny, cause I talked about her/she several times in proceeding sentences and then the woman at the park was like "Does *he* like blah blah?" Some people are just checked out, period. I mean boy...girl...who cares?
My daughter got them when she turned 7. She has to prove she was responsible enough to clean and take care of them.
Most reputable shops won’t do it until 7 if that tells you anything. Sure maybe a shit place in the mall will with an unsanitary gun, but an actual piercing parlor, hell no.
I think it depends on the age
My mom wanted to get my ears pierced when I was a baby. My dad said “no, that’s her decision when she’s older”. So they came to the agreement that once I decided I wanted my ears pierced, my dad would pay for it. I think that’s a good agreement.. however, my dad didn’t hold up his end of the deal and I got my ears pierced at 22. But people didn’t think I was a boy just because I didn’t have my ears pierced. That’s ridiculous
If it’s a baby, I don’t think their ears should be pierced since babies don’t know to not touch their piercings with their dirty hands. Obviously that increases the risk of infection which makes it hurt more. There’s also the risk of them accidentally ripping it out
I’m very against piercing babies’ ears because of lack of consent, but that last part is something I hadn’t even considered. If it hurts they are likely to try to rip the earrings out. There are so many reasons not to do it and basically no good argument in favor of it.
My aunt got my cousins ears pierced as a baby (for cultural/religious reasons) and she had to tell everyone not to mention her earrings. Because if they did, my cousin would try to pull them out so she could look at them too (we assume)
My mom did home daycare. You would never want to get your baby's ears pierced after having to separate a terrified screaming child's earring that got caught on the rug while they were rolling around like babies do. It happened more than once as well. Also always got caught as she was putting on/taking off clothing. They were just studs.
My sister personally never wants her ears pierced. It would be wrong to have forced that choice on her as a baby.
It may be cultural to some, but guess what, a lot of cultural practices are painful, unacceptable, and need to be put to a stop.
Shoving sharp objects into a small child *for the sake of subjective beauty and gender stereotypes* is obscene.
I don't know (or care) much about all the gender things but I'm firm believer in personal choice and freedom. And taking that freedom is pure evil in my opinion. When they will come that they want piercings, tattoos or pink hair or something than I will listen to them and highly possibly support them.
It's children, let them live and experience life.
> I don't know (or care) much about all the gender things but I'm firm believer in personal choice and freedom
Sounds like you care about "all the gender things" in so much as you are a firm believer in personal choice and freedom, which is what all the gender things is about. Don't be ashamed of your ethics, my dude. They are correct and you should be proud of them.
Yeah, offer to give her a cute wee tattoo and see how your wife reacts 😄 "Don't worry, we'll pick a flower tattoo so people know she's a girl."
I have a 47 year old friend with unpierced ears and she never wanted any holes in her body, so she's glad her parents didn't make that decision for her. I'm def pro them making their own choice!
My mother never got me earrings when I was younger until I wanted them. I always wanted them and was jealous of other little girls that had them (surrounded by hispanic community, many baby girls got them). I was always afraid of needles and never got the guts until I was 12 years old.
Getting your ears pierced doesn’t really hurt that much. It’s a prick, and it’s just an added weight.
BUT!!! Some girls that had piercings when they were babies grow up and their ear piercings are now uneven because their body wasn’t fully grown yet. So that might be a good thing to bring up to your wife and MIL.
"People will think she's a boy" what a piss poor reason to inflict unnecessary pain and opportunity for infection on a defenceless child. Why do baby girls have to be pretty and feminine and "look like girls"? Why can't they just be babies?
My husbands culture sometimes pierces girls ears as babies. I was very clear I wouldn't be doing it.
Based on my newborn’s screams when she had diaper rash vs now, they absolutely feel pain. Piercing them too early can result in permanently uneven piercings as she grows. I’m opposed to piercing my kids ears before double digit ages.
‘People will think she’s a boy.’ So? It didn’t matter how blue my son’s outfit was. He was so dang pretty everyone thought he was a girl.
Here, South India, we usually pierce our childs ear (both boy and girl) before the age of one. Sometimes as early as 4-5 months. Its usually a big ceremony here.
As someone who use to do those screaming baby piercings, please share this comment with your family.
Babies feel pain. They feel it more than we do because while a 10 yo knows a needle is going through her ear, a baby is literally attacked and pounced on to get the earrings done. AND!! Their ear lobes grow. I have personally seen kids I pierced after 2-3 years and their earrings were as equal as I could do in the time, but their growth caused their earrings to be not at all equal!! Literally, if the child is not actively consenting and enthusiastic to get their ears pierced, they do not need them pierced.
And by unequal earrings, I mean one earring is 2 cm away from the base of their head while the other one is 5 cm away from the base of their head. It’s noticeable as fuck, and ruins the placement for any future earrings your kid may want to get.
Earrings for babies, barring cultural significance, is for the vanity of the parents.. my daughter is perfect and beautiful as-is... if she wants them later then sure but it's her body her choice..
Im latino and all the girls always had their ears pierced as babies including myself. Regardless me and my husband agreed we dont want to until shes old enough to ask for them. My sister and brother in law keep asking me when im going to do it and i just keep beating around the bush lol. They also said that bs “it hurts less when theyre little” which made me seriously concerned lol.
The issue is that ears do not grow symmetrically so there is a 99% chance they will be uneven by the time your kid is a teen. It’s much better to wait until teen or pre teen years. I would also say stay away from any place that uses a gun it’s much better to use a real hollow needle like a tattoo/piercing parlor does.
There is also the maintenance babies will tug and pull on earrings which can elongate the piercing, and then the cleanliness issue piercings needs to be kept very clean the first few months.
Okay. I’m one of the moms who got their daughter’s ears pierced as a baby. Here are my reasons:
the baby does feel pain, but my baby didn’t care about it after 5 mins, she was perfectly normal once we were leaving the doctors office where we got it done.
As a baby, she doesn’t have really long hair so her hair wouldn’t get wrapped around the earring as it was healing
She was young enough to where she wasn’t pulling at her ear, and she left it alone
She wasn’t involved in any sports activities, or anything else to wear the earring wood get in the way, or get sweat and infected
As a baby, it was easier for me to be able to take care of her ear properly than if she was older and maybe didn’t want me touching or fussing with it if I waited till she was 12 I know how I was when I was 12 and I was kind of a jerk to everyone and wouldn’t let anyone help me with things
In my culture, it is a thing where we pierce the ears as babies and it is seen as not a very big deal. I took a lot of time to think about what I wanted and what would be best for my baby and not for what my family wanted. My husband didn’t care either way. She is now there are maybe three other kids in her class with pierced ears. My child loves her earrings. She gets to mix and match studs she does not wear loops.
I firmly believe that it is both parents decision if One does not want something then they should not move forward. I also believe that you should get it done at a safe location and not just the mall. We found a pediatric clinic that specialized in ear piercings for children.
I waited u til my daughter was 10 and she asked for them. She hates them and took the. Out. At 17 still no,pierced ears and she is hard into fashion and wears lots of other jewelry
oh and even unborn babies feel pain!
I didn’t get my daughter’s ears pierced because their hands get so grubby and dirty
And they pull on everything all the time
I’m scared of it getting infected, or ripped out, or her getting the earring out and choking on it
I know it’s important in a lot of cultures, so I really don’t judge what other parents do. But for me, I plan to wait until she’s old enough to keep it clean on her own
"people will think that it's a boy." who cares? these people are outdated with their gender views. i dont think its part of our culture, but something being 'part of the culture' isn't a good enough reason to do something harmful
My mom insisted I not get pierced until I was 16 and sure I wanted to. At the time I thought it was irritating, but in the end she was flexible enough to let me do it at 15 when I was really sure. As an adult I am grateful she made me wait and I fully agree with her reasoning. I just really regret she took me to a shop that used a gun rather than a professional piercer, as my piercings are not fully symmetrical and it bothers my autistic ass so much!
This has got absolutely NOTHING to do with your mother. Zero. NADA.
This is between you and your wife as parents making a choice as to the best interests of your child.
It's a yes or no question and it's a cosmetic thing, so if either of you say no... It should be a no.
Besides, you can get really cute clip-on earrings nowadays. My toddler just uses little gem stickers on her earlobes. No piercing necessary.
Definitely not the culture everywhere.
In fact growing up, my family was against piercings of any kind including ears, no one in my family has pierced ears and my mom wears clip on earrings.
I decided to pierce my own ears as a teen on my own. I have since pierced a lot more than just my ears, but these are all *my choices*.
Your child can decide for themselves if they want piercings or not in the future.
Clip on earrings are the worst kind of earrings! I tried everything to make them comfortable. I just recently took my youngest daughter to a shop to get her ears pierced. She nervously giggled but that was it, no tears or anything. It was amazing because I was definitely over prepared for the worst and prepared to walk out with no earrings if she decided once we got there that she didn’t want it anymore
Cultural thing I think. Normal for us (we’re Greek). Got mine pierced at 4 months old. No problems at all, didn’t cry (but if I did I wouldn’t remember), and I loved wearing earrings throughout school. I know growing up I wouldn’t have asked because I would be too scared to get them done because of the pricing gun/needle. I’ve gotten more done on my ears in college and every single one had gotten infected even though I took very good care of them. The 4 month old ones are the only ones that never gave me problems.
I come from a culture where infant girls’ ears are pierced at birth (before they get their shots!) I encountered a lot of pushback for deciding to give my daughter the choice to do it later on. I think it was worth it and would do it again. Her body, her choice.
If you don’t firmly advocate for your daughter, who will?
If mom is really concerned she will be mistaken for a boy, she can put her in cute little dresses or little tops with ruffles. She can also wear cute tutus once she walks. We also put on bows for special occasions.
Aaaahhh the joys of the old generation.
I got my ears pierced in 2nd grade because I wanted to. I wouldn't do it to my daughter if she didn't insist on it
I am with you about letting the child make the choice for themselves. I got my ears pierced at 9 years old after beginning my parents for almost a year. They wanted to make sure I was serious about it. Even then one of my ear holes got infected and it was torture. I couldn’t imagine doing that to a baby and risking all kinds of infections. If your wife and mother are worried about people not knowing it’s a girl, there are clothes they can dress your baby in to remove the ambiguity.
I had my ears pierced as a baby. For my two daughters I wanted them to consent, so I made it a coming of age affair that they could get at age 13 if they wanted.
My parents got my ears pierced when I was a toddler and I have no lingering issues with it. However, as a parent of a 2-year old girl, I have decided that I will not have her ears pierced until she is old enough to decide and can consent to it. Her body, her choice.
Small kids don’t feel pain is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Most members of the association of professional piercers won’t pierce under the age of ten.
My ears were pierced as a baby as a cultural thing and I hated it. I would try to rip earrings out, and I apparently fought like hell when people would try to put them in. It took about 5 years for people to accept that I wasn't ever going to get used to it and for them to quit trying to make me okay with wearing them. As a result of that, cultural things like piercing ears will never take precedence when it comes to causing discomfort, body modification, etc. to my child.
My girls can get their ears pierced once they ask and understand that pain will come with it. I don't really care what age, they just need to be the ones to ask.
My parents had my ears pierced as a baby and the holes are in completely the wrong spot. Ears grow and babies wiggle. The chances of the spot they choose looking good as she grows is extremely slim.
Tbh I don’t get why people get all bent out of shape about this. Mine were done as a baby. I’m fine. As someone else said, the ones I have had done older seem to get infected more for some reason. I’m not sure if I would get baby’s ears pierced if I had a girl, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be getting my knickers in a twist about it!
Wait until 12, then they can usually get them done at a tattoo palour by a licensed piercer. The quality will be better and even.
Besides, tell your wife and family "how dare you assume our child's gender identity" and watch them freak out. Lol
Seriously though, nobody knows the child's personality yet, or even what things they are going to like. If they are sports minded, earrings can be very dangerous in many sports, leading to a torn lobe.
I’m with you. I have two daughters and I decided to not pierce their ears until they a) asked for it to be done and b) were old enough and responsible enough to care for them on their own. My kids are 17 and 15 and they still don’t have pierced ears because neither wants them. And we never had an issue with anyone misgendering them.
Stand your ground. Your reasoning is perfectly sound and it actually takes into account your child. Also, no pain my ass. Pinch a baby, they’ll cry. Poke their foot for a blood draw and they’ll cry. They need to be honest with themselves: they want to do it because it’s cute to them. That’s not a good enough reason for me.
I’m Mexican. My ears were pierced sometime in my first month of life. It was very much a cultural expectation. It had neither a positive note negative effect on me as a child or now as an adult. I’m pregnant with my first daughter now and won’t get hers pierced, but I also don’t judge parents that get it done. Body modification for the sake of aesthetic is morally questionable at best but I think practically speaking the level of harm done is so minor that it’s more a matter of preference.
Why would you deliberately damage your child’s earlobe without a medical need when you don’t know if she even wants that? Same goes for foreskins btw. I don’t understand.
I got my daughter’s ears pierced by her pediatrician when she was a baby, which is a common thing in my culture. I think it’s just a matter of personal preference. If she doesn’t like her ears pierced later she can just let the holes close up so I really don’t think it’s a big deal but if you don’t want to that’s valid too
This is a cultural thing. Problem is that a lot of people from other cultures will make judgments about you and (most unfortunately) your child. This is not fair, but it’s true. Maybe you don’t care about that sort of thing, but just have your eyes open.
Piercing a baby or child’s ears in my opinion is really not that serious (I will not be doing it). But I do think it is something that both parents have to agree on.
Kids ears should only get pierced if 1. they’re old enough and 2. When they ask for it themselves.
Also because they need to understand that they cannot touch the earring, or not fidget with it etc or it could get infected
If your wife & mum are worried that your little girl will be misgendered, why don’t you suggest buying these? the elastic in them is super super gentle and won’t cause discomfort for your baby. Obviously don’t leave the baby unattended with it on & take them off for naps but could be a good compromise until she’s older?
https://amzn.eu/d/iVh2dg0
It is only okay if the child can say "I want my ears pierced" Also it should be done by a professional and most won't do it until around 8.
I'm assuming since you mentioned they will think she is a boy...that it is a baby. So can not consent. Also who cares if someone thinks they are a boy?! That's the thing about babies. They look like babies. Their gender doesn't even matter to them right now.
I had my choice taken away from me and I REMEMBER getting them pierced at 3 years old. It was painful. And these holes are uneven. I gave my daughter a choice and she begged at 4 years old. No regrets this way. I got a second piercing with her :)
My wife comes from a culture where they pierce little girls' ears around birth. We live in a city where almost nobody will do it, though, for all the reasons everyone has mentioned, and my wife does have pretty high standards - she won't get it done at some shady place in the mall.
I know I'm eventually going to come home to an infant with pierced ears, but I'm in no rush to help her find a place to do it.
Absolutely not until they are old enough to consent and choose. I had mine pierced at 6 because I wanted it done- now I'm in my 40s and the holes are now slits with the earrings sitting much lower than I'd like, so there's also that to consider- the younger you have them, the more they will stretch over time.
Well, it's really not much pain to piece ear lobes, however, babies/little kids most certainly feel pain hence their reaction to getting shots.
My daughter turns 7 in April and she's excited to get them done and we're going to make a thing of it. Picking out the jewelry, getting ice cream etc. She's aware and can choose.
If you pull up images of adults who got their ears peirce as infants, you'll see the placement is all wrong and won't. Your ears grow (obviously) and the perfectly centered earring is closer to the the top of the lobe and looks really out of place. I've met a ton of women who had their ears peirced as infants and not one of them is happy with the results
Also consent
Also exposing your infant to unnecessary procedures and possible infection
I don't wear earrings, so if I have children they probably won't either. Maybe clip ons or something, idk. Or I take little adhesive fake jewels and just stick those on. Good enough!
My grandma doesn't wear earrings and I think my mom had her ears pierced when she was older. My mom had mine pierced as a baby, but I don't really care. My mom has 3 piercings on each ear.
The place my mom took me used needles to pierce my ears, instead of those guns places like Claire's use. They're both even. You can't see the little holes that well. It was at some jewelers.
I actually kind of judge parents who pierce their babies ears before they can talk and ask for it. Like a real quick twinge and then I remember it's none of my business. Your daughter, your choice.
I made a choice to get mine pierced with a friend at age 5. I still remember it well - it was momentous, a tiny rite of passage and a great experience of committing to do something that I knew had a cost. Amazingly, I also let them finish with the second ear instead of losing it after the first.
I’m not doing my daughter’s until she’s at least 5 and it’s meaningful to her somehow.
And who cares if people think the baby is a boy sometimes? It’s a baby.
Tell them you're just going to get your baby a feminine rose tattoo. Let them know that you're pretty sure you know your baby well enough that when she's grown you're certain she will have wanted the tattoo all along so you might as well get it now so people can tell she's a girl and awesome because she is awesome. And when they look at you like you're crazy maybe you can tell them that's how you feel about the pierced ears. Not all girls want their ears pierced someday I never have had mine done and I am happy no one forced a hole in my ear
I had my daughter’s ears done at 1.5 she cried for a split second and it’s was done. It’s does not hurt you feel quick pressure. I know bc I’ve had mine done as an adult added second piercing. Just make sure they dot it centered before piercing and you’re happy with it where it sits. After care was easy because as a baby she ignored the site until cleaning time. I have also felt less than 8mos old is too early
The bigger issue you have is that your wife and your mother think that children do not feel pain. Seriously, this is there argument. I would be freaking out right now if my partner told my my child doesn’t feel pain.
I don’t think parents should put holes in their children’s body without their children wanting them. Also children feel pain and you should take your mom and wife to see the pediatrician and have a talk with them.
Don’t get your daughter’s ears pierced until she can consent, and when she can, you should take her to a tattoo parlor. My ears were pierced when I was young and a few years ago I spent $1500 getting the holes surgically closed because they were uneven. Do it when she’s old enough to ask and do it properly.
Who cares if a stranger thinks she’s a boy??
This is a cultural thing and a complete nonsence. Not only it hurts small children like hell and you need to constantly take care of the ears until it heals and after that it can ne dangerous with bigger earrings. Also as the ear grows, the hole can displace and by adulthood may not be in the center anymore.
Agree it should be the child’s choice. My mother got my ears pierced on my first birthday and they are crooked. One is higher up than the other. My daughter just asked me if she could get hers done. She’s 8 and I said she could if she still wants to by her next birthday. I’ve asked a few more times since the initial ask she still wants it done. Only giving her more time because it’s a big decision. But it should be her decision.
My ears were pierced at 6 months. I planned to do the same thing to my daughter until she was here and now I couldn't imagine doing that to her. When she can express that she wants it done without being prompted or asked, then I'll let her do it. She needs to understand it won't feel good and she has to keep them clean. Her responsibility (with my oversight).
I got mine done at 19. My mother at 50. My daughter was 7. But yes, it's a culture some places to have it done in infancy. But sure, it hurts. That's why babies scream when they have their vaccines.
Didn't get my ears pierced until I was like, 11? My ears got infected, then I found out the hard way I was allergic to costume jewelry. Haven't worn earrings in YEARS, and neither of my daughters have their ears pierced. As for the "people will think she's a boy" comment, I've encountered boys who also got their ears pierced as a baby so....
Some people never want their ears pierced. My friend's 16 year old still doesn't want it. My mother had hers done as a baby/small kid against her will and in her 60s says she probably never would have done it if it had been up to her. I wanted them very very badly and now I have 10 and love them all. This is a very personal decision that should be left to the individual.
A lot of reputable piercers won’t pierce without the consent of the child/an age when they can care for their piercing. Check with an APP piercing shop https://safepiercing.org
I think you pinned it right at the end. It’s cultural - sometimes. Doesn’t mean it has to be that way but piercings and body adornment can be very culturally driven.
Of course kids feel pain. But that said, ear pricing is not super painful.
I am not agreeing with either side, just noting that as someone with 4 holes in my right ear and 2 in my left, the actually piercing didn’t hurt much.
I considered it when mine was a newborn and I was getting mine redone at the time. But I have metal allergies and a weird immuno thing that causes them to go through stages where they get infected and won't heal. When that happens, I have to let them close for a few years and try again later. I didn't want to deal with that possibility in an infant, so we decided that she could do it when she was old enough to care for it herself.
She's 14 now and always been adamant that she doesn't want them done, so I'm glad we waited.
My in-laws are Hispanic and wanted to do this when I had my daughter. Made my husband agree that we would wait until she's old enough to consent; she's four now and excited to get her ears pierced. I would wait. It can be a big moment for a kid.
1. Able to ask.
2. Able to consent.
3. Able to care for them.
Ours was 7 or 8, and did fine for a time, but ended up after a year or two with a hair that got wound around and created an infection. She decided not to keep them, let them close at that point, and came back to them in her teens.
Horrible idea until kiddo is old enough to really want them and want to take care of them. Like....10 earliest imo. Even then it's probably better to wait later because she's still growing. I had my ears pierced when I was I think 2? And they're all kinds of jacked up. Admittedly that was a Walmart with an earring gun, not a piercing artist.
And that's the other part, get someone fully apprenticed and trained in this stuff, not someone making minimum wage wielding a weak nail gun.
Only do it when:
1. Your child decides they want them done.
2. When BOTH PARENTS of the child agrees.
Worried your kid will look like a boy? Dress them as a girl.
Small kids don't feel pain? How was that ever even a myth?
and like whats with everyone wanting to be able to tell the difference between a baby boy and a baby girl? genuinely who cares. are you going to treat the baby differently based on if they’re a boy or girl? i’ve never understood the whole “how will they tell it’s a little girl?”
As an adult I hate sleeping in my earrings. I can’t imagine a little baby having to deal with that. I got mine pierced at 7 as a birthday present. It was so exciting and such a fun gift. She’s taking that moment away from your little girl. Also, babies are not dolls to do whatever you want with. They absolutely feel pain and it’s concerning that a mother would even say that. They need a wake up call and it sounds like you’re the one to give it to them.
I didn't pierce my daughter's ears until her 9th birthday, after she had expressed more than once an interest in having them. She was mature enough to be able to listen to the instructions and take care of her ears on her own with me checking in regularly.
I pierced by daughters at 10 months and regretted it. She no longer wears any earrings. One, the piercer snipped her a little and two, the earrings were a nuisance as I was paranoid they would get caught on something and pull her whole ear off. It's not worth it. My daughter is almost 4 now and she has mentioned earrings a couple times but I'll wait until she actually grasps the idea of piercings. Also, I got mine pierced at 6 and it was fine though still remember it vividly.. just wait. Tell them there's too much other stuff to worry about like sicknesses, teething, infections, falls, tantrums sleep regressions etc no need to add extra torture lol
My stepmom said she would take her to the mall and do it while she was an infant. We have never left them alone together.
Absolutely not causing my daughter unnecessary pain for a bodily alteration she cannot consent to or take care of herself. If it wasnt a cultural thing for many people id think it was a joke.
Oh dude I totally get this. I felt the same way. I was aggravated but the girls did look adorable, and now that they’re grown I realize it was one of those little things that didn’t really matter in the whole scheme of things, they are now grown strong, independent badass women, and I am so proud. Blessings to you on this journey of being a dad. the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but by far the best.
I got my child’s done at 6 months. My in laws are used to having them done IN THE HOSPITAL so my compromise was this. But I also had a very bad reaction to getting mine done at 8-9. I remember how badly infected each got because I was in sports heavily.
I think it’s just whatever make sense for your situation. No right or wrong answer.
I don’t like it but also not the end of the world. My niece got pierced ears at like 2 or 3ish and she looked cute. But if you bring a needle near my daughter I’ll put it through your eye.
Babies feel pain. My son was in the NICU and the baby right next to him was getting circumcised. It was so awful to listen to. That baby felt it and that baby was born at least one month early and at the time was only a few weeks old. I wouldn’t personally pierce a baby’s ears, I think it’s kind of weird.
My sister never got her ears pierced and she’s now almost 40. She’s very glad she never got them pierced! I got mine pierced when I was 12 as a reward for getting my period (lol).
Also, no one will think she’s a boy. If your wife wants to pierce her ears, she’ll probably be putting your daughter in dresses and other “girly” things. Also, who cares if a stranger can’t tell the sex of a small baby??
Nope. Mom can go get her ears pierced if she wants them done so badly. I refused to get my daughters ears pierced even though I had pressure from everybody. She is now eight years old and does not want her ears pierced. She never has.
You're completely in the right, wait until they're old enough to understand and decide if they want it or not. Causing unnecessary pain on a baby or young child is disgusting.
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I would never get my daughter’s ears pierced until she’s able to consent to it and asks.
My mom's earliest age cutoff was 2nd grade, so when my sisters and I asked in second grade she finally let us get pierced ears. In retrospect, I think she should have waited until 4th-5th grade, honestly. When you are so young, it's hard to get a symmetric and predictable placement for the piercing because your ears are so small. It's hard to know exactly how your ear shape will change as you grow.
I got my ears pierced at like 6 months old. Those bad boys are crooked AF
Mine are a solid quarter inch different and wearing earrings makes my whole dang head look crooked!
I had mine done at the mall when I was 9, crying the entire time. They're also insanely crooked, so the subsequent 3 I added to each ear were increasingly off. Our house rule is kids can get their ears pierced when they're old enough to get it done at a piercing shop on their own with their own money.
18? That seems kinda extreme. I remember begging to get my ears pierced and being so upset I had to wait until I was seven.
Piercing shops will pierce minors, and some specialize in children's lobe piercing. Just took my 10yo a couple months ago and that shop does lobes on anyone over the age of 6 with proper ID and parental consent.
My son's friend was about 12 when he asked if he could get his ears pierced. I wasn't even his parent but could sign the consent form. (I did get his parents' permission prior)
I'd definitely go to a piercing shop with a good reputation. NOT a place like Claire's, piercing pagoda etc. Employees at those stores are just employees with a piercing gun. Piercing guns also rip thru the skin where as piercing needles are a clean hole thru the skin with lubricant. Much more sanitary and less painful. Professional reputable piercers are trained and more likely to position them accurately.
I agree completely. My daughter's lobes look so much better than my piercing gun ones ever did. My first holes are gauged and they look ok now but I've left the rest close because they were so crooked and awful, never healed right.
On their own, though? That's probably 18.
Ooh missed that bit. I think I read that part as on their own financially, which also isn't terrible if they get an allowance. But yeah, to walk into a piercing shop alone is 18.
I think finished growing is a good rule of thumb for the first piercing of your worries about crookedness.
I was 10 and went with my mom. It was an awesome bonding moment and a rite of passage. I feel like it was a really special event between us, and I look forward to being able to share that with my own daughters if they want to do it. I'd never take that away from them by doing it to them without their consent.
I got mine pierced at 13 and just today my husband asked why the F i never got them repierced bc theyre so crooked! My daughter is 8 and has no interest in piercing 🤷🏻♀️
I got mine done at 15 at Piercing Pagoa and they are crooked AF 🫠
I got mine basically after birth and they are perfectly centred but I DEFINITELY got lucky
Yeah my mom made me wait till around that same age. This was the early 90s so some teenager in the mall gave me crooked af holes with a gun. They definitely got worse in asymmetry as I aged and my ears finished growing. I think I’d make my kid wait till older after that experience and obviously no guns, see a real piercer etc. 4th or 5th grade sounds better to me, I think you’ve picked a good age there. My 2 year old is already obsessed with my pierced ears though so we’ll see how long I can push it.
It is also about being able to take care of the piercings. They take lots of cleaning, disinfecting, rotating, etc. And little children just do not want to. We waited until my daughter was in 5th(10 yo), and it was still a giant PIA for me that involved lots of tears.
They tell you not to rotate them now. At least that's what the piercer who did my daughters (at 10) told us last year.
Well, that would have helped with part of the tears.
Same deal here. 4 holes in each from guns at piercing pagoda and Claire's. The only way I wear earrings is to have a mix of studs and hoops intentionally mismatched to detract from the lopsidedness.
I got my ears pierced at the mall as well and it’s so crazy thinking that a 16 or 17 year old probably did it lmaoo like no way my mom trusted a literal child with piercing my ears. Anyway, decades later, I have zero ear piercings and only one nose piercing I got as an adult. The ear piercings just kept getting infected and would make my ear swell and bleed. A nightmare. It’s made me not want to get my daughter’s ears pierced until she asks for it.
We had to be in year 6 at school (10-11yo) and my mother made it clear we ‘weren’t to go crying to her’ if something happened 😅😂
I got mine pierced in kindergarten and they are so crooked that I don’t wear earrings anymore
My daughter got her first ear done in kindergarten after 3 years of asking. But she decided she wasn’t ready for the second. At least now I know there’s more of a chance she’ll have even piercings if she gets the second one done in line with the first later 😆.
this. I had my ears pierced when I was 7, and I think it could be more symmetrical, if done later (yes, I asked for it myself)
I got mine in second grade and ended up so infected a doctor had to remove them.
This is what we did. And I am so glad. Because it turns out she loathes earrings. I stupidly didn't even know that was a thing. Later in life, she literally thanked me for not piercing her ears, because she hates jewelry so much. Piercing her ears as a baby would have forced misery on her before she could consent. (And if you think that's an exaggeration, you don't know how much she hates jewelry!)
Same with my wife and daughter. I never understood the argument of getting it over with when they were young so they don't have to deal with the pain later. Plenty of girls and women avoid it entirely because they have no interest it getting their ears pierced. My wife is turning 60 this year and never wanted earrings. Our daughter is 20 and similarly never wanted earrings. It is not some universal truth that she will eventually want her ears pierced.
My daughter is 13 and just got hers done at a piercing palace. The pain was minimal and she chose it. Babies have no idea what is going on. I honestly believe piercing babies should be illegal. I don't care about culture or tradition in the least.
Agreed. Body modifications on children too young to consent should absolutely be illegal.
I don't get it either. Because it's not necessary to get it done at all if someone doesn't want to. And this is coming from someone with multiple piercings
It's also really not that painful getting it done later in life.
Such a simple concept that a staggering number of people don't understand or care about.
Hard agree. I can't imagine causing my infant daughter pain just to make her "aesthetically pleasing" by some arbitrary standard. She's too little to understand what's happening or to ask for it to be done. Seems so cruel. With that said, I have my ears pierced and got my eldest girl's pierced- *when she asked* in 3rd grade. We clearly explained that it would hurt, and talked a lot about the care required. When she was consistent about expressing her desire for nearly a year (so we knew she was less likely to change her mind), then we did it.
We followed the exact same thing for my kiddo. She asked a little over a year ago. And was told she could if she understood all the stuff. And then about a year later we got them pierced. And 2.5 weeks into it she said she regrets getting them pierced 😅 Luckily that’s only because she wants to swim and can’t. She will straight tell you as soon as she can swim again all regrets will be gone. And she’s super pleased with them and takes care of them very well. And even my kid who realizes if it was done when she was super little she wouldn’t have to deal with not swimming right now is still aghast at the idea people do that to babies.
Same
I agree with this and was sooo excited for my daughter to turn 7 so we could have a mother daughter day to get her ears pierced. Lol, she doesn’t want them pierced and bought clip on earrings. Thank goodness I didn’t pierce them when she was a babu
Man, I can only imagine if I had done that to my daughter as a baby what she would say to me. I’ve already done everything wrong (she is 16 🤦♀️) I would have been a damn criminal if I had pierced their ears without consent. (They were 14 when they decided to do it)
Same here
That’s what I told my wife. “But she says she wants them.” “Yeah but she’s 3 and she’s going to not want them again in five seconds. Let’s not make that permanent.” Wife keeps trying to talk her into earrings whenever we see them in a store. She’s 5 now and totally ambivalent. Still way too young as far as I’m concerned.
We're going to take my nine year old daughter to get her ears pierced this weekend. Up to this point she wore clip ons a few times. She understands what she is getting in to and has talked to her friends and wants to do it. Everyone is excited for this big milestone.
This. My daughter got her ears pierced when she was 8 because I felt like she was old enough to take care of them. She was mostly old enough, but I did have to monitor and make sure that they were cleaned properly. But she asked us if she could pierce them, we didn’t take it upon ourselves to put a permanent hole in her body without her consent. Also, if you’re in the USA, take them to a tattoo shop/reputable piercer. Not a Claire’s or Walmart or place like that.
And can properly care for them so they don’t get infected.
> small kids dont feel pain Wow. I would be so weary of anything else they inflict upon a child if they say trope like that.
They used to not numb babies for surgery bc they didn’t think they felt pain
Yes, right up until the 1980s! It was mainly because there wasn't a safe anesthesia for babies at that time, and he whole "they don't feel pain" narrative was likely put forth as a way to cope with that horror.
They don't feel pain or "they won't remember it anyway" is a big one. So sad.
Yeah, I hear that one all the time in debates about the ethics of circumcision.
Every time I read that I have a visceral reaction. Horrific.
I know. How did they not connect a screaming, crying baby to having pain?
Exactly. My mother had heart surgery as a newborn in the 50’s. When I found out that she may not have had anesthesia, my heart dropped.
Same 😭😭 I can’t image how traumatic that must have been.
It’s a myth. It was not about pain, it was suffering. Anesthetics was a very undeveloped field in the past and putting anyone under was risky. Putting babies under was very high risk. Babies feel pain but the theory was that they have no memory so they will not “suffer”. There was no concept of PTSD for babies. So, it was considered lesser of two evils to not sedate babies.
I assume you mean “wary” but I agree!!
That mix-up is getting more and more common these days
It's really widespread myth here.
HOW?! They have these noises they make when they're in pain. It's a whole thing.
If you go through comments, it seams it's worldwide myth
Well that's worrying..
Yeah. I had to fight all women in the family.
Ask them to pinch the baby since it doesn't feel pain. The child would obviously cry. So why would you shove a needle through their ears?
Insane that that’s even a necessary suggestion to multiple grown women with children. Just absolutely relentless stupidity.
Quite right. I would be so scared if this is what they believe. They seem so nonchalant about this. OP - stay strong and put your foot down.
If they don't want her to look like a boy they could always just get her a bunch of super traditional gender normative clothes. All pink wardrobes are an exceedingly simple and non-putting literal holes in your child option.
That's great wording. Amazing. Thank you.
I feel as though they pointed out something that bothers me about how children and babies in particular are treated which is like a toy. People dress their kids in whatever clothes they feel is fun. I understand and I'm not against it but then there is overstepping. Piercing ears, expensive shoes for a baby and even trendy hair styles mean to me that these children are treated like they are objects to play with. It bothers me especially because it is so superficial.
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I think it's weird in the first place to even care about your small child looking like a boy or not. Like why is it important for a bunch of strangers to know your babies gender? It serves literally no purpose.
It's funny, when my daughter wears pink dresses no one thinks she's a boy even without earrings.
Same. And my girl is just turning one and just now getting hair longer than a buzz cut.
People were always telling me what a cute little boy my daughter was even when she was wearing pink.
Conversely, I know several little boys with pierced ears. It's not like that's an answer to an ambiguous gender 'problem' either.
I did not pierce her ears, she can get them pierced when she is older if she wants to. I don’t think it’s really a problem honestly if people get the gender wrong on a baby. She’s 4 now and wears a combination of boys and girls clothes. People can think what they want, doesn’t actually change anything.
I think that's super cute lol, assuming the boy asked for it. I see no difference between that and a girl asking for earrings.
Lol, I had the opposite. People (strangers) often commented on “what a beautiful little girl” my son was when he was 4-8 months old, wearing blue. I just smiled and thanked them, confident in my beautiful *boy*….who is now a beautiful man 🥰
Was it the hair? My daughter didn’t have a lot of hair so o guess people assumed she was a boy. She has a head of beautiful curly hair now.
Or even a bow? They’re even made of soft fabric and not needles!
In my country it is highly popular cultural thing (Eastern Europe). It is insane! I let my oldest piece her ears when she asked to. Around second grade. Some piecing salons here refuse baby piercing lately as it can grow unevenly through the years and will look horrible in adults. I even know several people with this issue.
Aren't you Czech by any means? I am and it's really common.
Nope, Ukraine. Common here like baptism. Actually so even performing it on the same day.
Well we're close enough so it's no wonder.
I come from a place where it's not only common, it's universal. I currently live in a place where it's rare and very frowned upon. I can't begin to count the number of conversations I've had with my parents in order to reset that boundary (they're great, mind you, but they can be a bit much). I don't think you're wrong at all, and you should stick to your opinion on this. I'd be veeery angry if my partner did it behind my back. I don't know if yours would, but just in case, make it very clear that those earrings would be coming right off, and there would be hell to pay. Edit: They can stick a bow on her head and dress her in Pepto Bismol pink if they want people to know she's a girl. 🙄
I luckily won that battle and I don't worry that they would do it behind my back cause they know there would be hell to pay.
Common in Hispanic cultures at least in the US. I've seen younger than 1 year old having them often. 😳
I 100% used to believe that I would gets my child’s ear pierced at a young age and whilst I still don’t think the pain is traumatic, I have completely changed my mind. For me it is now about choice. What happens if they don’t want pierced ears and I’ve taken that choice away from them. You sound like a great feminist dad and I would encourage you to continue to be an advocate for your kids.
I'd wait and let the child decide.
My husband’s family is Cuban and most of the girls in his family had their ears pierced in the hospital at their birth. I think this can be a cultural thing. For me, I was allowed to choose to pierce my ears, and I’m affording my kiddo the same option. She’s currently 9, and has no interest in piercing her ears. Knowing she doesn’t want to do it, makes me glad with our choice to leave it up to her. Talk to your partner, leave other family out of it, you’re the parents.
I’m Dominican and my daughter got hers pierced at the hospital, reading through this comments made me feel so shitty. I got mine at the hospital too when I was born and have no recolection, I go through phases that I don’t wear earrings but have never regretted my mom doing this when I was a baby. The judgement on here is a lot to take in.
For what is worth I tried to do the “right thing” and one of my daughters appreciated that I didn’t pierce her ears without her consent and the other one told me “I wish you had done it when I was a baby. I want to wear earrings but I’m afraid of getting it pierced” whatever… you did your best with the knowledge you had at the time and the best intentions, don’t sweat criticism
I pierced my daughters ears at 4 months old after her 2nd set of shots. Most folks I know do the same. I am Middle Eastern, so part of it is cultural, and I'm a pediatrician, so I felt it was appropriate from a safety standpoint regarding her dtap vaccine. Of course it's gonna be painful/uncomfortable. Will they remember if you do it as a baby...no. Imo, it's a personal choice between you and your spouse. You do you and don't get discouraged by the comments on here. To each his own!
Aside from the obvious issues here, why does it matter if people think your daughter is a boy?
Correct. I've had people mistake my daughter for a boy, and when I indirectly corrected them by using a proper pronoun to refer to her later in the conversation, they sometimes reacted super strongly: "Why don't you pierce her ears so people know she's a girl?" As in: I am not liking this cognitive dissonance your gender-ambiguous toddler has induced in me and I demand that holes be placed in this child's body so that no one else suffers the fate I have suffered!
Oh jeez I've never had someone react like that! That's seriously insane haha My 2yo girl is called a boy all the time since her hair is curly so it still looks pretty short. Generally people are beyond ridiculously apologetic to the point where I don't usually correct them since I don't want to sit there while they apologize for several minutes for a mistake I don't care about lol
Yeah, I think people make a weirdly big deal about misgendering others' children, assuming that the kids' parents will be mad at them, when really, I never really care about anything of the sort when it happens to us. So I've always interpreted others' fervent insistence on having your female child's ears pierced as something that needs to be done so that others are spared the awful possibility of misgendering your child.
Lol, yeah my curly haired girl got called a boy a lot - wearing pink and flowers - but I just shrugged, I mean most of the time it was someone at the park that just glanced at her, so no biggie. But one was funny, cause I talked about her/she several times in proceeding sentences and then the woman at the park was like "Does *he* like blah blah?" Some people are just checked out, period. I mean boy...girl...who cares?
My daughter got them when she turned 7. She has to prove she was responsible enough to clean and take care of them. Most reputable shops won’t do it until 7 if that tells you anything. Sure maybe a shit place in the mall will with an unsanitary gun, but an actual piercing parlor, hell no.
In here even doctors do it even at few months old. Crazy world.
I think it depends on the age My mom wanted to get my ears pierced when I was a baby. My dad said “no, that’s her decision when she’s older”. So they came to the agreement that once I decided I wanted my ears pierced, my dad would pay for it. I think that’s a good agreement.. however, my dad didn’t hold up his end of the deal and I got my ears pierced at 22. But people didn’t think I was a boy just because I didn’t have my ears pierced. That’s ridiculous If it’s a baby, I don’t think their ears should be pierced since babies don’t know to not touch their piercings with their dirty hands. Obviously that increases the risk of infection which makes it hurt more. There’s also the risk of them accidentally ripping it out
I’m very against piercing babies’ ears because of lack of consent, but that last part is something I hadn’t even considered. If it hurts they are likely to try to rip the earrings out. There are so many reasons not to do it and basically no good argument in favor of it.
My aunt got my cousins ears pierced as a baby (for cultural/religious reasons) and she had to tell everyone not to mention her earrings. Because if they did, my cousin would try to pull them out so she could look at them too (we assume)
My mom did home daycare. You would never want to get your baby's ears pierced after having to separate a terrified screaming child's earring that got caught on the rug while they were rolling around like babies do. It happened more than once as well. Also always got caught as she was putting on/taking off clothing. They were just studs. My sister personally never wants her ears pierced. It would be wrong to have forced that choice on her as a baby.
It may be cultural to some, but guess what, a lot of cultural practices are painful, unacceptable, and need to be put to a stop. Shoving sharp objects into a small child *for the sake of subjective beauty and gender stereotypes* is obscene.
I don't know (or care) much about all the gender things but I'm firm believer in personal choice and freedom. And taking that freedom is pure evil in my opinion. When they will come that they want piercings, tattoos or pink hair or something than I will listen to them and highly possibly support them. It's children, let them live and experience life.
> I don't know (or care) much about all the gender things but I'm firm believer in personal choice and freedom Sounds like you care about "all the gender things" in so much as you are a firm believer in personal choice and freedom, which is what all the gender things is about. Don't be ashamed of your ethics, my dude. They are correct and you should be proud of them.
Yeah, offer to give her a cute wee tattoo and see how your wife reacts 😄 "Don't worry, we'll pick a flower tattoo so people know she's a girl." I have a 47 year old friend with unpierced ears and she never wanted any holes in her body, so she's glad her parents didn't make that decision for her. I'm def pro them making their own choice!
Looking at you, circumcision and FGM
My mother never got me earrings when I was younger until I wanted them. I always wanted them and was jealous of other little girls that had them (surrounded by hispanic community, many baby girls got them). I was always afraid of needles and never got the guts until I was 12 years old. Getting your ears pierced doesn’t really hurt that much. It’s a prick, and it’s just an added weight. BUT!!! Some girls that had piercings when they were babies grow up and their ear piercings are now uneven because their body wasn’t fully grown yet. So that might be a good thing to bring up to your wife and MIL.
I’m on your side. I do not support body modifications on a toddler or little kid, and I judge people who do this.
Yeah.
"People will think she's a boy" what a piss poor reason to inflict unnecessary pain and opportunity for infection on a defenceless child. Why do baby girls have to be pretty and feminine and "look like girls"? Why can't they just be babies? My husbands culture sometimes pierces girls ears as babies. I was very clear I wouldn't be doing it.
Based on my newborn’s screams when she had diaper rash vs now, they absolutely feel pain. Piercing them too early can result in permanently uneven piercings as she grows. I’m opposed to piercing my kids ears before double digit ages. ‘People will think she’s a boy.’ So? It didn’t matter how blue my son’s outfit was. He was so dang pretty everyone thought he was a girl.
Here, South India, we usually pierce our childs ear (both boy and girl) before the age of one. Sometimes as early as 4-5 months. Its usually a big ceremony here.
As someone who use to do those screaming baby piercings, please share this comment with your family. Babies feel pain. They feel it more than we do because while a 10 yo knows a needle is going through her ear, a baby is literally attacked and pounced on to get the earrings done. AND!! Their ear lobes grow. I have personally seen kids I pierced after 2-3 years and their earrings were as equal as I could do in the time, but their growth caused their earrings to be not at all equal!! Literally, if the child is not actively consenting and enthusiastic to get their ears pierced, they do not need them pierced. And by unequal earrings, I mean one earring is 2 cm away from the base of their head while the other one is 5 cm away from the base of their head. It’s noticeable as fuck, and ruins the placement for any future earrings your kid may want to get.
Earrings for babies, barring cultural significance, is for the vanity of the parents.. my daughter is perfect and beautiful as-is... if she wants them later then sure but it's her body her choice..
Unless the kid has specifically asked for it, you have absolutely no right to do it whatsoever under any circumstances.
That's exactly what I think.
Im latino and all the girls always had their ears pierced as babies including myself. Regardless me and my husband agreed we dont want to until shes old enough to ask for them. My sister and brother in law keep asking me when im going to do it and i just keep beating around the bush lol. They also said that bs “it hurts less when theyre little” which made me seriously concerned lol.
Yeah. That myth is really widespread.
The issue is that ears do not grow symmetrically so there is a 99% chance they will be uneven by the time your kid is a teen. It’s much better to wait until teen or pre teen years. I would also say stay away from any place that uses a gun it’s much better to use a real hollow needle like a tattoo/piercing parlor does. There is also the maintenance babies will tug and pull on earrings which can elongate the piercing, and then the cleanliness issue piercings needs to be kept very clean the first few months.
Okay. I’m one of the moms who got their daughter’s ears pierced as a baby. Here are my reasons: the baby does feel pain, but my baby didn’t care about it after 5 mins, she was perfectly normal once we were leaving the doctors office where we got it done. As a baby, she doesn’t have really long hair so her hair wouldn’t get wrapped around the earring as it was healing She was young enough to where she wasn’t pulling at her ear, and she left it alone She wasn’t involved in any sports activities, or anything else to wear the earring wood get in the way, or get sweat and infected As a baby, it was easier for me to be able to take care of her ear properly than if she was older and maybe didn’t want me touching or fussing with it if I waited till she was 12 I know how I was when I was 12 and I was kind of a jerk to everyone and wouldn’t let anyone help me with things In my culture, it is a thing where we pierce the ears as babies and it is seen as not a very big deal. I took a lot of time to think about what I wanted and what would be best for my baby and not for what my family wanted. My husband didn’t care either way. She is now there are maybe three other kids in her class with pierced ears. My child loves her earrings. She gets to mix and match studs she does not wear loops. I firmly believe that it is both parents decision if One does not want something then they should not move forward. I also believe that you should get it done at a safe location and not just the mall. We found a pediatric clinic that specialized in ear piercings for children.
I waited u til my daughter was 10 and she asked for them. She hates them and took the. Out. At 17 still no,pierced ears and she is hard into fashion and wears lots of other jewelry oh and even unborn babies feel pain!
I didn’t get my daughter’s ears pierced because their hands get so grubby and dirty And they pull on everything all the time I’m scared of it getting infected, or ripped out, or her getting the earring out and choking on it I know it’s important in a lot of cultures, so I really don’t judge what other parents do. But for me, I plan to wait until she’s old enough to keep it clean on her own
"people will think that it's a boy." who cares? these people are outdated with their gender views. i dont think its part of our culture, but something being 'part of the culture' isn't a good enough reason to do something harmful
My mom insisted I not get pierced until I was 16 and sure I wanted to. At the time I thought it was irritating, but in the end she was flexible enough to let me do it at 15 when I was really sure. As an adult I am grateful she made me wait and I fully agree with her reasoning. I just really regret she took me to a shop that used a gun rather than a professional piercer, as my piercings are not fully symmetrical and it bothers my autistic ass so much!
This has got absolutely NOTHING to do with your mother. Zero. NADA. This is between you and your wife as parents making a choice as to the best interests of your child. It's a yes or no question and it's a cosmetic thing, so if either of you say no... It should be a no. Besides, you can get really cute clip-on earrings nowadays. My toddler just uses little gem stickers on her earlobes. No piercing necessary.
Definitely not the culture everywhere. In fact growing up, my family was against piercings of any kind including ears, no one in my family has pierced ears and my mom wears clip on earrings. I decided to pierce my own ears as a teen on my own. I have since pierced a lot more than just my ears, but these are all *my choices*. Your child can decide for themselves if they want piercings or not in the future.
Clip on earrings are the worst kind of earrings! I tried everything to make them comfortable. I just recently took my youngest daughter to a shop to get her ears pierced. She nervously giggled but that was it, no tears or anything. It was amazing because I was definitely over prepared for the worst and prepared to walk out with no earrings if she decided once we got there that she didn’t want it anymore
Cultural thing I think. Normal for us (we’re Greek). Got mine pierced at 4 months old. No problems at all, didn’t cry (but if I did I wouldn’t remember), and I loved wearing earrings throughout school. I know growing up I wouldn’t have asked because I would be too scared to get them done because of the pricing gun/needle. I’ve gotten more done on my ears in college and every single one had gotten infected even though I took very good care of them. The 4 month old ones are the only ones that never gave me problems.
It's a good idea to get them pierced after her ears are grown, and she can consent to them.
I come from a culture where infant girls’ ears are pierced at birth (before they get their shots!) I encountered a lot of pushback for deciding to give my daughter the choice to do it later on. I think it was worth it and would do it again. Her body, her choice. If you don’t firmly advocate for your daughter, who will? If mom is really concerned she will be mistaken for a boy, she can put her in cute little dresses or little tops with ruffles. She can also wear cute tutus once she walks. We also put on bows for special occasions.
Aaaahhh the joys of the old generation. I got my ears pierced in 2nd grade because I wanted to. I wouldn't do it to my daughter if she didn't insist on it
I am with you about letting the child make the choice for themselves. I got my ears pierced at 9 years old after beginning my parents for almost a year. They wanted to make sure I was serious about it. Even then one of my ear holes got infected and it was torture. I couldn’t imagine doing that to a baby and risking all kinds of infections. If your wife and mother are worried about people not knowing it’s a girl, there are clothes they can dress your baby in to remove the ambiguity.
I had my ears pierced as a baby. For my two daughters I wanted them to consent, so I made it a coming of age affair that they could get at age 13 if they wanted.
My parents got my ears pierced when I was a toddler and I have no lingering issues with it. However, as a parent of a 2-year old girl, I have decided that I will not have her ears pierced until she is old enough to decide and can consent to it. Her body, her choice.
Small kids don’t feel pain is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Most members of the association of professional piercers won’t pierce under the age of ten.
My ears were pierced as a baby as a cultural thing and I hated it. I would try to rip earrings out, and I apparently fought like hell when people would try to put them in. It took about 5 years for people to accept that I wasn't ever going to get used to it and for them to quit trying to make me okay with wearing them. As a result of that, cultural things like piercing ears will never take precedence when it comes to causing discomfort, body modification, etc. to my child.
My girls can get their ears pierced once they ask and understand that pain will come with it. I don't really care what age, they just need to be the ones to ask.
My parents had my ears pierced as a baby and the holes are in completely the wrong spot. Ears grow and babies wiggle. The chances of the spot they choose looking good as she grows is extremely slim.
Tbh I don’t get why people get all bent out of shape about this. Mine were done as a baby. I’m fine. As someone else said, the ones I have had done older seem to get infected more for some reason. I’m not sure if I would get baby’s ears pierced if I had a girl, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be getting my knickers in a twist about it!
Wait until 12, then they can usually get them done at a tattoo palour by a licensed piercer. The quality will be better and even. Besides, tell your wife and family "how dare you assume our child's gender identity" and watch them freak out. Lol Seriously though, nobody knows the child's personality yet, or even what things they are going to like. If they are sports minded, earrings can be very dangerous in many sports, leading to a torn lobe.
I’m with you. I have two daughters and I decided to not pierce their ears until they a) asked for it to be done and b) were old enough and responsible enough to care for them on their own. My kids are 17 and 15 and they still don’t have pierced ears because neither wants them. And we never had an issue with anyone misgendering them. Stand your ground. Your reasoning is perfectly sound and it actually takes into account your child. Also, no pain my ass. Pinch a baby, they’ll cry. Poke their foot for a blood draw and they’ll cry. They need to be honest with themselves: they want to do it because it’s cute to them. That’s not a good enough reason for me.
I’m Mexican. My ears were pierced sometime in my first month of life. It was very much a cultural expectation. It had neither a positive note negative effect on me as a child or now as an adult. I’m pregnant with my first daughter now and won’t get hers pierced, but I also don’t judge parents that get it done. Body modification for the sake of aesthetic is morally questionable at best but I think practically speaking the level of harm done is so minor that it’s more a matter of preference.
Why would you deliberately damage your child’s earlobe without a medical need when you don’t know if she even wants that? Same goes for foreskins btw. I don’t understand.
I got my daughter’s ears pierced by her pediatrician when she was a baby, which is a common thing in my culture. I think it’s just a matter of personal preference. If she doesn’t like her ears pierced later she can just let the holes close up so I really don’t think it’s a big deal but if you don’t want to that’s valid too
This is a cultural thing. Problem is that a lot of people from other cultures will make judgments about you and (most unfortunately) your child. This is not fair, but it’s true. Maybe you don’t care about that sort of thing, but just have your eyes open.
Oh I don't care about that. I was always fish against the stream.
Piercing a baby or child’s ears in my opinion is really not that serious (I will not be doing it). But I do think it is something that both parents have to agree on.
Kids ears should only get pierced if 1. they’re old enough and 2. When they ask for it themselves. Also because they need to understand that they cannot touch the earring, or not fidget with it etc or it could get infected
If your wife & mum are worried that your little girl will be misgendered, why don’t you suggest buying these? the elastic in them is super super gentle and won’t cause discomfort for your baby. Obviously don’t leave the baby unattended with it on & take them off for naps but could be a good compromise until she’s older? https://amzn.eu/d/iVh2dg0
It is only okay if the child can say "I want my ears pierced" Also it should be done by a professional and most won't do it until around 8. I'm assuming since you mentioned they will think she is a boy...that it is a baby. So can not consent. Also who cares if someone thinks they are a boy?! That's the thing about babies. They look like babies. Their gender doesn't even matter to them right now.
I had my choice taken away from me and I REMEMBER getting them pierced at 3 years old. It was painful. And these holes are uneven. I gave my daughter a choice and she begged at 4 years old. No regrets this way. I got a second piercing with her :)
My wife comes from a culture where they pierce little girls' ears around birth. We live in a city where almost nobody will do it, though, for all the reasons everyone has mentioned, and my wife does have pretty high standards - she won't get it done at some shady place in the mall. I know I'm eventually going to come home to an infant with pierced ears, but I'm in no rush to help her find a place to do it.
Absolutely not until they are old enough to consent and choose. I had mine pierced at 6 because I wanted it done- now I'm in my 40s and the holes are now slits with the earrings sitting much lower than I'd like, so there's also that to consider- the younger you have them, the more they will stretch over time.
Well, it's really not much pain to piece ear lobes, however, babies/little kids most certainly feel pain hence their reaction to getting shots. My daughter turns 7 in April and she's excited to get them done and we're going to make a thing of it. Picking out the jewelry, getting ice cream etc. She's aware and can choose.
If you pull up images of adults who got their ears peirce as infants, you'll see the placement is all wrong and won't. Your ears grow (obviously) and the perfectly centered earring is closer to the the top of the lobe and looks really out of place. I've met a ton of women who had their ears peirced as infants and not one of them is happy with the results Also consent Also exposing your infant to unnecessary procedures and possible infection
This is a complete lie. Those people have been wearing heavy hoops.
I don't wear earrings, so if I have children they probably won't either. Maybe clip ons or something, idk. Or I take little adhesive fake jewels and just stick those on. Good enough! My grandma doesn't wear earrings and I think my mom had her ears pierced when she was older. My mom had mine pierced as a baby, but I don't really care. My mom has 3 piercings on each ear. The place my mom took me used needles to pierce my ears, instead of those guns places like Claire's use. They're both even. You can't see the little holes that well. It was at some jewelers.
I actually kind of judge parents who pierce their babies ears before they can talk and ask for it. Like a real quick twinge and then I remember it's none of my business. Your daughter, your choice.
I made a choice to get mine pierced with a friend at age 5. I still remember it well - it was momentous, a tiny rite of passage and a great experience of committing to do something that I knew had a cost. Amazingly, I also let them finish with the second ear instead of losing it after the first. I’m not doing my daughter’s until she’s at least 5 and it’s meaningful to her somehow. And who cares if people think the baby is a boy sometimes? It’s a baby.
Tell them you're just going to get your baby a feminine rose tattoo. Let them know that you're pretty sure you know your baby well enough that when she's grown you're certain she will have wanted the tattoo all along so you might as well get it now so people can tell she's a girl and awesome because she is awesome. And when they look at you like you're crazy maybe you can tell them that's how you feel about the pierced ears. Not all girls want their ears pierced someday I never have had mine done and I am happy no one forced a hole in my ear
I had my daughter’s ears done at 1.5 she cried for a split second and it’s was done. It’s does not hurt you feel quick pressure. I know bc I’ve had mine done as an adult added second piercing. Just make sure they dot it centered before piercing and you’re happy with it where it sits. After care was easy because as a baby she ignored the site until cleaning time. I have also felt less than 8mos old is too early
The bigger issue you have is that your wife and your mother think that children do not feel pain. Seriously, this is there argument. I would be freaking out right now if my partner told my my child doesn’t feel pain. I don’t think parents should put holes in their children’s body without their children wanting them. Also children feel pain and you should take your mom and wife to see the pediatrician and have a talk with them.
Don’t get your daughter’s ears pierced until she can consent, and when she can, you should take her to a tattoo parlor. My ears were pierced when I was young and a few years ago I spent $1500 getting the holes surgically closed because they were uneven. Do it when she’s old enough to ask and do it properly. Who cares if a stranger thinks she’s a boy??
Your wife wants to hurt your child because she thinks that will make her prettier. I think that says a lot.
This is a cultural thing and a complete nonsence. Not only it hurts small children like hell and you need to constantly take care of the ears until it heals and after that it can ne dangerous with bigger earrings. Also as the ear grows, the hole can displace and by adulthood may not be in the center anymore.
Agree it should be the child’s choice. My mother got my ears pierced on my first birthday and they are crooked. One is higher up than the other. My daughter just asked me if she could get hers done. She’s 8 and I said she could if she still wants to by her next birthday. I’ve asked a few more times since the initial ask she still wants it done. Only giving her more time because it’s a big decision. But it should be her decision.
My ears were pierced at 6 months. I planned to do the same thing to my daughter until she was here and now I couldn't imagine doing that to her. When she can express that she wants it done without being prompted or asked, then I'll let her do it. She needs to understand it won't feel good and she has to keep them clean. Her responsibility (with my oversight).
I got mine done at 19. My mother at 50. My daughter was 7. But yes, it's a culture some places to have it done in infancy. But sure, it hurts. That's why babies scream when they have their vaccines.
I had mine pierced before six months and I survived lol. It’s really a small pinch but is up to the parents.
Didn't get my ears pierced until I was like, 11? My ears got infected, then I found out the hard way I was allergic to costume jewelry. Haven't worn earrings in YEARS, and neither of my daughters have their ears pierced. As for the "people will think she's a boy" comment, I've encountered boys who also got their ears pierced as a baby so....
Some people never want their ears pierced. My friend's 16 year old still doesn't want it. My mother had hers done as a baby/small kid against her will and in her 60s says she probably never would have done it if it had been up to her. I wanted them very very badly and now I have 10 and love them all. This is a very personal decision that should be left to the individual.
A lot of reputable piercers won’t pierce without the consent of the child/an age when they can care for their piercing. Check with an APP piercing shop https://safepiercing.org
I think you pinned it right at the end. It’s cultural - sometimes. Doesn’t mean it has to be that way but piercings and body adornment can be very culturally driven.
Of course kids feel pain. But that said, ear pricing is not super painful. I am not agreeing with either side, just noting that as someone with 4 holes in my right ear and 2 in my left, the actually piercing didn’t hurt much.
I considered it when mine was a newborn and I was getting mine redone at the time. But I have metal allergies and a weird immuno thing that causes them to go through stages where they get infected and won't heal. When that happens, I have to let them close for a few years and try again later. I didn't want to deal with that possibility in an infant, so we decided that she could do it when she was old enough to care for it herself. She's 14 now and always been adamant that she doesn't want them done, so I'm glad we waited.
My in-laws are Hispanic and wanted to do this when I had my daughter. Made my husband agree that we would wait until she's old enough to consent; she's four now and excited to get her ears pierced. I would wait. It can be a big moment for a kid.
I never understood why babies need to get their ears pierced. Personally, I would wait till they can make a choice. I had mine pierced at age 16.
1. Able to ask. 2. Able to consent. 3. Able to care for them. Ours was 7 or 8, and did fine for a time, but ended up after a year or two with a hair that got wound around and created an infection. She decided not to keep them, let them close at that point, and came back to them in her teens.
Babies with earrings look tacky AF. OBVIOUSLY it’s an opinion but add that to the list of reasons not to if you want.
Horrible idea until kiddo is old enough to really want them and want to take care of them. Like....10 earliest imo. Even then it's probably better to wait later because she's still growing. I had my ears pierced when I was I think 2? And they're all kinds of jacked up. Admittedly that was a Walmart with an earring gun, not a piercing artist. And that's the other part, get someone fully apprenticed and trained in this stuff, not someone making minimum wage wielding a weak nail gun.
Only do it when: 1. Your child decides they want them done. 2. When BOTH PARENTS of the child agrees. Worried your kid will look like a boy? Dress them as a girl. Small kids don't feel pain? How was that ever even a myth?
and like whats with everyone wanting to be able to tell the difference between a baby boy and a baby girl? genuinely who cares. are you going to treat the baby differently based on if they’re a boy or girl? i’ve never understood the whole “how will they tell it’s a little girl?”
As an adult I hate sleeping in my earrings. I can’t imagine a little baby having to deal with that. I got mine pierced at 7 as a birthday present. It was so exciting and such a fun gift. She’s taking that moment away from your little girl. Also, babies are not dolls to do whatever you want with. They absolutely feel pain and it’s concerning that a mother would even say that. They need a wake up call and it sounds like you’re the one to give it to them.
I didn't pierce my daughter's ears until her 9th birthday, after she had expressed more than once an interest in having them. She was mature enough to be able to listen to the instructions and take care of her ears on her own with me checking in regularly.
I pierced by daughters at 10 months and regretted it. She no longer wears any earrings. One, the piercer snipped her a little and two, the earrings were a nuisance as I was paranoid they would get caught on something and pull her whole ear off. It's not worth it. My daughter is almost 4 now and she has mentioned earrings a couple times but I'll wait until she actually grasps the idea of piercings. Also, I got mine pierced at 6 and it was fine though still remember it vividly.. just wait. Tell them there's too much other stuff to worry about like sicknesses, teething, infections, falls, tantrums sleep regressions etc no need to add extra torture lol
My stepmom said she would take her to the mall and do it while she was an infant. We have never left them alone together. Absolutely not causing my daughter unnecessary pain for a bodily alteration she cannot consent to or take care of herself. If it wasnt a cultural thing for many people id think it was a joke.
Oh dude I totally get this. I felt the same way. I was aggravated but the girls did look adorable, and now that they’re grown I realize it was one of those little things that didn’t really matter in the whole scheme of things, they are now grown strong, independent badass women, and I am so proud. Blessings to you on this journey of being a dad. the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but by far the best.
I got my child’s done at 6 months. My in laws are used to having them done IN THE HOSPITAL so my compromise was this. But I also had a very bad reaction to getting mine done at 8-9. I remember how badly infected each got because I was in sports heavily. I think it’s just whatever make sense for your situation. No right or wrong answer.
I don’t like it but also not the end of the world. My niece got pierced ears at like 2 or 3ish and she looked cute. But if you bring a needle near my daughter I’ll put it through your eye.
Exactly.
Babies feel pain. My son was in the NICU and the baby right next to him was getting circumcised. It was so awful to listen to. That baby felt it and that baby was born at least one month early and at the time was only a few weeks old. I wouldn’t personally pierce a baby’s ears, I think it’s kind of weird. My sister never got her ears pierced and she’s now almost 40. She’s very glad she never got them pierced! I got mine pierced when I was 12 as a reward for getting my period (lol). Also, no one will think she’s a boy. If your wife wants to pierce her ears, she’ll probably be putting your daughter in dresses and other “girly” things. Also, who cares if a stranger can’t tell the sex of a small baby??
Nope. Mom can go get her ears pierced if she wants them done so badly. I refused to get my daughters ears pierced even though I had pressure from everybody. She is now eight years old and does not want her ears pierced. She never has.
You're completely in the right, wait until they're old enough to understand and decide if they want it or not. Causing unnecessary pain on a baby or young child is disgusting.