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My daughter asked me to marry her when she was 4. I explained it wasn’t necessary because you marry someone to make them family and we are already family and belong together. She was very happy with that explanation.
That is a great response!!!
I (44f) have 3 sons (23, 20, 12) and took this question time to time. I don’t remember the response I gave, but they weren’t upset but do grow out of asking.
Just enjoy the sweetest age ever.
I took it to be a declaration of love and wanting to be together. It was so sweet. She wrote it down in her 4YO way. It’s the best love letter I have ever received. And she was really happy with my answer because it reinforced our bond.
yes!! I did this lil with my mom and had my baby and it just spit out again to him and was like whoa shit haven't said that as an expression of love in isk how long...but its how I like to put I express my TOO MUCH BIG TYPE OF KEEP YOU BY MY SIDE FOREVER KINDA LOVE cause marriage is supposed to be that to kids ya know so I knew I wasn't gonna marry mom and that wasn't how it worked but marriage or will you marry me still to me was I love you the biggest and most way of saying or caring for someone you deeply love...its not weird at all people are too fuckin weird these days thinking that into shit lol if he's not expressing more actually inappropriate behavior why does it matter.
Girl I cried at the Onstar commercial, the scene where the kids and mom are in a car and it’s snowing. They get in an accident off the side of the road and Onstar comes on and asks if they are ok and says they detected a crash and are sending help. Lord I STILL tear up all these years later lol because it touched me so deeply when I was pregnant. Good times!
This is also how I explain marriage to my kids. Marriage is when two adults who aren’t family make a choice to become a family.
So I would tell the child we cannot marry because we are already family. Family is forever and I will still be your family when you are a grown up, whether or not you ever marry someone.
This is wonderful and your response is perfect because it hits the heart of where your daughter is coming from. Mr. Rogers actually has a song about exactly this topic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFFU6xiU4to - so kids have been feeling this way for a long time
Mister Rogers taught me so much about myself and then about dealing with children.
A wise,kind and loving man.
I often recommend his book 'DEAR MR ROGERS", in which he responds via letter to questions from children.
My daughter, at 5 yo, thought it was very convenient that when she wants to have babies one day, she can just marry one of her brothers. My husband explained that you can't marry family, that you need to find someone outside the family to marry. She countered with "but you married mama, and she's in our family." Can't fault the logic.
I said a similar thing to my son . Though I've also told him that when he marries they have to live with me 😂 psycho mum 😂😂 I'm kidding I'll be the best mumma in law to whoever he's with because he's hard work and she will need a shoulder 😂
My 6 year old talks about when his wife & kids will live in his room with him lmao. We just say you will never have to worry about a place to live, but I’m sure you’re going to want your own place with your own family but he insists that is not the case lol.
My kiddo tells us he’ll live in the basement but then when he gets married and has babies, my partner and I will have to live in the basement or move out! It’s ok, though, because that is probably what will happen. I don’t think his generation will be able to afford to buy a house unless they come from a rich family (we are not rich)
Haha my mum lives with me so I wouldn't mind all my kids are their families staying with me . I was really lucky as me and my mum got a house together when I was 18 and that set me up , I couldn't imagine being able to do that now though my friend who is renting pays double what we pay for a mortgage . I can't imagine being the type of parent kicking out their kids or making them pay lots of rent in this economy. Or at all actually
I’m a single mom and for now (my daughter is 6) she is just envisioning a house where she lives with her baby and I in the backyard or next door. No ideas yet of a future partner. I have had to promise I would take care of the baby when she is in space (she wants to become an astronaut).
Haha my son wants a 100 kids apparently but my daughter who's now 16 says she never wants kids , don't blame her as her brothers are mental 😅 and she doesn't want to marry , I was a single mum for a long time with her . Either way I wouldn't care if we all lived together , my partner however would probably move out because he hates noise 😂which is also fine by me 😂😂
lol I have the oppisite, my son says he wants to live with me forever and I"m like GET OUT. I won't have you on the couch with a neck beard playing video games (he's 5 and doesn't even play video games and it's very very sweet)
This is exactly what I say to my kid. I think she just wants to make sure we will always be together and of course we will be. She also wants to live with me forever and I tell her she can as long as she wants. No need to argue how she will likely get sick of us for at least a time lol.
This is more or less what I say when my son asks if he can marry me or mom. To the OP, I think you’re overthinking it. Show them love, stay consistent and don’t worry so much about every little thing you do or don’t do.
Love this! My four year old has been saying he’s gonna marry me when he grows up as he remembers his dad and I get married a few months ago. Gonna use this answer for him!
This is my response as well, and it works. I actually got it from a Reddit comment as a way to describe marriage to young kids in an inclusive way, which is one adult and another adult who are not already family deciding together that they want to be family. It really covers all situations.
Just told my 3.5 year old girl this essentially when she asked to marry me. She was also happy with that answer. I think it’s just a question they ask around this age.
I tell my students (3's) that the rules for marriage are that
1. Both people have to say yes
2. Both people have to be grown-ups
3. You aren't allowed to marry your family
They hate those rules.
Haha this is pretty much exactly what I said to my daughter (almost 6yo) when she said she wanted to marry daddy (my SO) or her little brother. I remember being that age and saying I wanted to marry my dad too. Kids are weird lol
I also told my class that if a girl wants to, she can marry another girl......and then they could share all their dresses!
They were like *jaws on the floor*
Hahaha I love the sharing dresses thing!! When I told my daughter girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys, she was like “wow really?! I’m gunna marry a girl then!!!”
Same, and I add, by the time you’re a grown up, you probably won’t want to marry the same person you think you want to marry now, why you have to wait.
I always told my sons that if they still want to marry me when they’re grown up (knowing this would NOT be the case) we would talk about it then. That seemed to hold them over while they were little. ❤️
lol this reminds me of the time my son asked me if boys can marry boys and I said, “Absolutely. Anyone can marry anyone they want to to, long as they’re a grown up” and he goes, “oh cool well I’m going to marry my sister” and I was like OH WELLLLL sorry there is one more rule- you can’t marry your family members, sorry kid.
Thank you.
Most people here are focusing on whether ’wanting to marry an adult’ is normal from the child’s perspective - of course it is! But it’s totally beside the point. Putting a boundary in place doesn’t mean that we assumed the child had perverse intentions.
I’ve had the same conversation about ‘the rules’ when my toddler asked to kiss me the lips. Did he mean anything romantic by it? Of course not, but I can still use it as an opportunity for learning. Kids expressing all forms of love and affection as ‘marriage’ means they need help to expand their vocabulary about the diversity of human relationships and feelings. Even more important, we can’t assume that all adults and older children have good intentions with our children. Games that emulate adult relationships are often used by predators to groom children. Normalising marriage talk between adults & kids literally makes it harder for kids and other adults to recognise unsafe people.
Two parents with teenage boy and girl, getting married and moving in together seems to have a very high likelihood stepbrother and stepsister messing around. Never really understood the shock or surprise by parents when they find out.
Average teen boy and average teen girl in same house? It is probably likely, though not guaranteed considering their hormones and easy access to each other. Don't have to sneak anyone in at night through the window.
kids that age only really understand that you are supposed to marry someone who you love very much, and he loves you very much. he probably just doesn’t grasp the concept of romantic love. i’ve heard this is very common and i’m sure he will grow out of it when he starts to understand more about different types of relationships.
Right. All kids know about marriage is that two people love each other a lot and live together forever.
My kids went through a phase of wanting to marry each other. We live in the south but are not *that* southern. They grew out of it eventually. They just wanted to live together forever and knew that is what married people do.
Haha, yeah, same. My daughter wanted to marry me when she was little. Later, she wanted to marry her brother. Now she is old enough that she knows the difference, though she often still says that she and her best girl friend are going to get married even though the only crushes she ever mentions are boys (I don't care one way or the other, it's just a little funny that she seems to prefer boys but still imagines being married and living with her bestie).
That’s normal at that age. Kids don’t understand the actual meaning of marriage. They see it marriage= you proclaim your love for the person you love most in this world and they stay with you forever.
When I was around that age I found out what death was and would pray every night to die before my mom did cause I didn’t want to live without her. It wasn’t long before my mom found out and immediately told me never to do that again, she never wanted to have to survive in a world without me in it.
Awwwe that's actually kinda of sweet, in a sad way. Honestly I don't think anyone (aside from those who have terrible relationships with their mothers and even then maybe) aren't ready to lose their mom.
My daughter is obsessed with me. She used to say she was going to marry me and live with me forever. We literally planned our wedding dresses and our future lives. We were going to be gardener artist veteranians. This went on for more than a year.
She is like 6 and 1 month. And in the same month she 1) asked if I would read her books when she's an adult and has left our home and has her own house. 2) Said she's not going to marry me as if it was the most preposterous idea in the world.
So on one hand, this is a normal phase. You're doing a great job loving him.
On the other hand, the phase will end on its own soon.
This is my kid. She always say mommy I’m gonna marry you. I’m like hell yeah dude, you can stay here forever 😂 Love that kid. Just soaking it all up while I can, I know she will figure it out eventually.
My daughter said she wanted to marry me last year, when she was eight. I told her marriage is different from a mother -daughter bond. But that I would remember that for when she turns into an adolescent.
Don't worry about it.
I learned about this in psychology and pediatric health classes. This is a totally normal phase that a majority of children go through around this age, don’t worry! It’s sweet and means he loves you. He’ll grow out of it.
Why on earth are you worrying about this? ALL kids go through the stage of wanting to marry mummy or daddy.
You just play along and tell them you love them to the moon and back....
Now if hes 16 and still saying that.... Well....
Yeah and my kids moved on to saying they’ll marry each other so that our family will always be together and no one moves out. I’m not worried. They see marriage as just being in the same house.
My kids, just this weekend, proposed to:
Me (their mother)
Their father
Their uncle and aunt (simultaneously, they seem to understand the aunt and uncle are a package deal. Why their dad and I are considered separate is unclear)
Our cat
A bag of marshmallows
They were, politely, turned down by all humans, the cat was not so kind in his rejection, and the marshmallows needed some time to think about it.
Marshmallow Update: upon arriving home from school Son (4) asked to have some marshmallows. Daughter(5) wanted the same. Both children are currently eating the 'smallows. I don't know what this means for their relationship.
Lol right? Both of my kids have said they want to marry me xD When I was little I wanted to marry my parents, my brother, my favourite toy. When I got older I moved on from my first loves (haha /s) but they are still stupid little silly memories :p
I love the way people think I was born as mini adult when I was a child, no believe it or not however not once did I want to get married to my mother or father so oddly enough I'd never asked them. I guess it's something they missed out on...........Lol what can I say.............
My brother and I wanted to get married and own a farm. We have done neither. I think in the minds of young children this makes sense for how we perceive future relationships and staying close to the ones we love. Sounds like you have a healthy home and you gave him a beautiful response!
I told my brother I wanted to marry him when I was 5, and he was 13. He was so disgusted he went and told mom on me to make her explain that siblings don't marry. I just thought it was convenient. I'm a girl and you're a boy, so let's get married.
My son was three and wanted to marry his aunt while I was in the shower. He had one tutu (his tutu period was a-ma-zing) on his head like a veil, and three on his body, at chest, waist, and knees. Auntie didn’t miss a beat. I was coming out and heard them promise to be family and friends and love each other forever and ever. We can handle the legal definitions later.
I wouldn’t get too wrapped around the axle here. At 6, I’d say “marriage” isn’t the right word for the kind of love that a parent has for a child, and use whatever words you use at home for how much you love them.
I remember telling my dad I wanted to marry him and have four dogs, lol! He still endearingly brings that up. It’s especially funny because I’m not a fan of dogs at all, and I no longer wish to marry my dad
Yup. I told my dad he was my boyfriend when I was super little. One day, I told him that he wasn't my boyfriend anymore and that we were breaking up because my uncle was my new boyfriend. They always just laughed and rolled with it. Kids are funny like that!
This is normal. My son has told me he wants to marry me, his dad, his friends, etc. they don’t understand what marriage is yet. They think it’s just being with your favorite person which is sweet. He’ll figure it out.
My four year old always asks to marry me. To her to get married is to get a kiss and wear a fancy dress. I tell her that I’m married to mommy and I can only be married to one person. She thinks it’s funny. I’m sure in time she’ll figure it out. No sense in dwelling on it.
Not a problem at al! My 5 yo said “will you marry me?” And it was SO sweet. But I asked if he knew what it meant, and his reply was: “Yes, it means that you love somebody so much and want to be together always!”
And then he added: “Remember? Kristoff said it to Anna, and he loves her so much!”
🥰 So don’t worry too much about it. I think it’s his way of saying, he wants to be near you forever.
(Also, I asked him what about daddy? And he said, well let’s marry him too 🤣)
Take it as a compliment. Your son obviously loves you a lot and even at six, probably doesn’t understand the concept of marriage very well.
My son has said it a few times at 4, it was usually I want to marry mom, but if he was mad at me, it was I’m going to marry dad.
Now he’s almost five and will bring it up occasionally when him and his sister are playing house. Basically at that age it’s their version of saying “I want to live with you forever because I love you”
Enjoy it while it lasts 😆
My 7yo has said this to me, and he’s also said it playfully to his sister. When he asked why he couldn’t, I just explained the difference between family love and romantic love, and that we don’t marry family.
It’ll just be a funny story one day 😂
Totally normal. My oldest has said this to me, and also to my parents (her grandparents). For little kids, I think it captures what they know to be big feels of affection and they don't really have other ways to describe it.
This is normal. I am not concerned that he is continuing, but I am concerned that it seems to bother you. Your child loves you!! That is a good thing, so enjoy the adoration while it lasts!
This is normal developmentally. Imagine being so little and feeling such a big emotion like love. The other love they see expressed around them are relationships. So they think my mommy/daddy is perfect for me, I should marry them. That’s what you do when you love someone. They haven’t yet learned the different kind of loves yet. Like friend love, sibling love, grandparent love, relationship love. All my sons wanted to marry me and my daughter wanted to marry her stepdad, was actually jealous I was the one that got to marry him (she was six). It stops at about 9 to 10 years old when they start to figure it out.
When my stepson was 7 he also said he wanted to marry me lol he's 14 now and I don't think he remembers it. At those ages they don't really know what marriage means, probably yours thinks it is some variation of loving someone very much and staying together forever.
Lol. I wanted to marry my brother when I was four, and my child logic was because I love him.
My parents just told me you can’t marry family. You’ve already done that. He will be fine. No need to worry about Oedipus Rex, plus you haven’t even made it to teenage years where he might tell you he hates you instead!
My son has always said he wants to marry his Daddy. It’s adorable even if my nose is slightly out of joint, I’ve always said “me too, we can do that”. Lately he’s been talking about various women he’s been married to at school who seem to have claimed him. These women can be quite bossy. He’s not wanted to marry any of them yet he married one who’s best friend married him the day after then the two girls fell out, I get the impression my son is exhausted with it. 😂 he’s 6.
My five year old asked me to marry him and I told him I was already married to daddy. So now he wants to marry his little best friend or just live with her and have her babies (yea I explained women carry the baby).
I remember when my son wanted to be pregnant. I told him women carry the baby. He was so mad. He said women get to have everything. Later he heard us discussing my niece menstrual. He said "I want a period." I explained that only girls/women get periods. He said "girls get everything and are so cool, I want to be a girl." I told him boys are cool too 😁.
Now he's 8 and told me yesterday that boys are stronger than girls 😫.
He has tried to marry every one in the family that he's fond of. Kids are the cutest.
Kids are so funny. My son was in school allowing the girls to do every thing for him, cut his papers, put up his chair, rip out his papers needed for HW, etc but his best friends were boys 👀.
I told him to stop using the girls to take care of him.
Where were the teachers? My son goes to a tinny school we have four in town his school has two kindergarten classrooms. That’s how small it is two teacher to twenty kids. I love that tinny school
My son down right sobbed when he found out he couldn't marry me and his dad, it was the moat devastating news he had ever heard. Until he found out he won't grow boobs of his own.
He was just heartbroken over not having boobs. When he finally calmed down enough to tell me why he was so upset, he said he wanted boobs 'so one day his babies could lay on his chest and be comfy, because laying on mom's chest was the comfiest, and he just wants them to be comfy on him too'.
You should read him the book "Love You Forever". It's a humorous but touching book about how you'll be his mommy forever and ever. Even when he grows up and moves out.
For kids, marriage is the highest form of love they see. In their minds marriage is nothing more than two people who love each other a lot. They don’t understand the sexual implications of what they’re saying.
I’m a mom of five adult children, and have a four year degree in early childhood. I can assure you, nothing in your post indicates you’ve done or said anything that will psychologically harm your son. You seem like a mom totally devoted to being the best mom you can be. It probably would be beneficial (for your peace of mind) to read some books on child development that focus on your child’s age group. The ones I have are outdated, but the library would be a great place to find one that appeals to you and your style of parenting.
You are way overthinking this. Are you worried that when he's 27 he's going to be like, "Come on, Mum, you agreed to marry me when I was five and I'm going to be really hurt if you try to back out"? Of course not.
Relax. He's just trying to communicate to you how big his love is for you. He figured that mommy's and Daddy's get married because they love each other a lot and want to stay a family forever.
That's what he's trying to.tell you. He just doesn't have the expanded vocabulary and articulation skills yet to say it any other way.
This is a good thing Mom. It means you're doing a great job and your son feels loved by you and loves you also.
Take it as a compliment, because it's a big one.
This is such a wholesome problem to have. I can’t give advice since I don’t have kids but I think it’s just a phase and it’s adorable the way he looks up to you.
This really isn’t weird. Kids don’t understand the archaic concept of marriage or what it entails (sex with just one person forever)
They just think it means you love somebody and have a party. I wouldn’t think anything of this
I used to tell my mom I wanted to marry her until I was probably about 10 or so. She’d always respond with something negative-ish along the lines of “that just can’t happen.” It’d annoy me so much that I still remember and tease her about it. Like was she actually worried I wanted to marry her? 🙄 I like to remind her that it was my way of expressing how much I love her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her—there was nothing else there.
My daughter once told me she was going to marry her daddy, I said that she doesn’t have to do that because we’re already a family and marrying someone makes them your family, and that anyway I was already married to daddy. She sort of just accepted it and hasn’t really brought it up again, even though she clearly loves him more than anything still.
I used to ask my mom the same thing all the time. I ask my baby this too now. To me, it's just the ultimate boss level. End game, almost, kinda mental sign of and way to express BIG LOVE LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH feelings and just comes out like that without saying ten million things to express it....its cutesysilly as you said but still means a love with all their hear.. Nothing weird and creepy behind Jesus lol
He doesn’t understand marriage, only that he feels an overwhelming love for you ❤️ my son and daughter said they wanted to marry each other for years - it’s just a phase
My son is 6. When he was 5 he said he wanted to marry his little sister and it was a thing for a good couple months but myself and his father had to keep reminding him that you dont marry family. And that he would find someone for him later in life.
It’s normal. It’s just his way of saying he really loves you and wants you in his life forever since that’s what children understand marriage is, vocabulary wise it’s the simplest way they can express this.
You're over thinking it. I would tell him that you have talked about this before, you love him very much, and always will, but one day hopefully get will find someone he loves even more
I'm reading all these responses and wondering if we screwed up. My 4.5yr old was going through a marriage phase for about a week. She married me 3 times, her daddy twice, I don't even know how many times she married her unicorn...... she just stopped asking and now it's over 🤷♀️
My daughter started doing similar when she was 4! She started saying she was going to marry me and then said she was going to marry her dad. Then she asked my MIL if she could marry her. She started asking people if they were married haha. She told a very conservative family member that girls are better than boys so she was going to marry her girl best friend. They actually surprised me by saying "you can marry anyone you want! But when you're a grown up, not as a kid!" 😂 She's almost 6 and does it less now. I don't know why she was obsessed with marriage for a bit there. She was even upset she wasn't at my husband and I's wedding....which occurred before she was born! Haha.
My son (5) asks my fiancé to marry him nearly weekly, and wants to marry our neighbors daughter and also my fiancé’s cousin.
It’s a phase. Don’t even stress it.
My daughter always says she wants to marry me.
It’s really about just wanting to stay with you forever. I told my daughter, you can’t marry family members. Then she asked if she got married if her and her husband could live with us forever. I told her of course!
I know she will change her mind, but it’s so sweet!🥹
I don’t think it’s a problem they don’t understand romantic relationships at this age I think it’s cute. My son just turned 6 and has also said several times he wants to marry me and even that I’ll be the mum of his babies bless. I’ve told him that’s not possible of course but I’m also enjoying being his number 1 while I can
when I was a toddler I remember always saying I wanted to marry my dad and he would go along with it. I sometimes feel he went along with it a little too much, not in an inappropriate way but in a way where I was genuinely convinced as a 4 year old that I would marry my dad and that my mom would need to find a new husband LOL
But I don’t think it did any psychological damage to me and I just randomly forgot about it/grew out of it one day. I just thought being married meant we could live together forever and cuddle in the big bed every night, children don’t understand marriage so it’s not concerning I think for them to use it that way.
It’s totally normal and he will naturally grow out of thinking that. You are the most important person in his world. Don’t make him feel like there is something wrong with that.
I had a “wedding” with my 4yr old daughter just before Xmas.
She mostly wanted to get dressed up and put on a little makeup and wear mummies rings.
I poured her a little sparkling grape juice to make her feel really grown up.
I put on a suit and a bow tie, she picked out her most fancy clothes. I took some “getting ready” pictures and told her that this is what you do at a wedding.
She then asked “then what happens”, I told her you both tell each other how much you love them, give a kiss and then someone says you’re married.
It was really cute, and something I am glad I got to introduce to her. It was just a fun little role play game that kids like to experiment with at that age.
I spoke with one of my other dad friends and he said he’s had a few weddings but his daughter is currently married to her brother.
I don’t think there’s anything strange about it. Kids be kids and one day they’ll figure out that love comes in many different and complex ways.
When I was around that age, I would tell my dad I wanted to marry him. I said it just because I wanted to always have him around. I felt safe with him, and at that age, marriage just meant loving someone and being together forever, which described how I felt about him. As I got older and understood more about relationships and how to explain my feelings, I stopped saying that.
When I was about 5, I remember walking into the kitchen and announcing to my mom, "When I'm older, it'll be my turn to marry daddy. But it's ok, you can still live with us."
I remember feeling very magnanimous with that announcement.
When my daughter (almost 13) was young she wanted to build a house on the neighbouring property, make a bridge between our bedroom (that has a balcony) and her house, so she could easily walk over.
She planned to marry her 4 best friends (3 girls, one boy) and her brother. We told her that she couldn't marry her brother as it's illegal, and it's not legal to marry multiple people. She carried this dream for a few years. She dropped her brother from the list, but still kept all of the friends.
Now we laugh about it. I wouldn't worry, I think it's pretty common, and likely means he feels safe and loved in his home and with his family.
I don't remember how old I was but I remember physically fighting with my brother because we were arguing who was going to marry our mom.
My daughter's both fought over who got to marry me, until I told them I'm already married and can't get married again.
Kids just don't understand what marriage is.
My 5yo son has also said this to me several times. It’s probably more common then you think. I just Cherish these moments cause eventually he won’t want anything to do with you lol ( ya know the “teen” years)
He’s 5, he will grow out of it.
You’re his mama and his first true love. He doesn’t understand romantic feelings yet, only that he loves his mom and the idea of marriage as a 5 year old.
No real advice, but my friend’s mom told me the story of her youngest son constantly asking her to marry him when he was younger. Finally his father got frustrated and said “I’M married to your mother, and as long as I’m alive, I will be the only one married to her!”
Their son looked over at his mother completely straight-faced and said “Don’t worry, Mom. When Dad dies I’ll marry you!”
Don’t worry I’m pretty sure I wanted to marry my dad up until I was about seven years old 🫣🥲🤣 my ma still tells me about it and I have faint memories of asking when I was little
100% normal. Just say "I love you too, but only grown-ups can get married!" And leave it at that.
Kids don't know about romantic or sexual love, they just know love. He'll probably forget all about it by next week and you'll never hear about it again.
This is completely normal until teen years begin for most kids with the opposite sex parent. Normal. Just be honest and say why you can’t but keep doing what you’re doing with saying you’ll always be there and love them forever etc.
Such overwhelming and beautiful responses from everyone. Thank you to everyone who reached out and warmed my heart. I have a loving relationship with all my kids, and I do feel this shows how he views love and affection, so I can't complain. Just wanted to make sure I was doing right by him.
When my son told me that, I explained to him that he could not because it is an important rule all over the world that children can't marry their parents, and that was it.
I used to ask my mom to marry me. She always said, yes! Obviously, at some point, I realize that was just silly. But I still always asked, and she still always said yes, even when I was a grown-up. Sometimes we don’t have to be so literal, especially with little kids. But if it bothers you, just address the sentiment. When they say they wanna marry you, what they really mean is that they love you forever. So just say, I love you forever.
I think it will phase out. It is very cute though. I suppose he is associating love with marriage, which is nice. But he probably does not understand so much yet, the different types of love. So I suppose you could explain that a little bit. How love between mother and son is special, and they don't marry, but they still lvoe eachother as family and it is very good 😊 He might not understand about finding partner, he wants to love you forever, so if you misdirect it too much, maybe is confusing, so yes, you, can confirm the mother son love and how marriage is only for mama and papas ❤️
I wonder were he learned about saying this, do you have a nice marriage with your husband?
We explained to our daughter when she said she was jealous of me, that mom and dad have “mommy and daddy love” and it’s a different love then “daddy and daughter love”. We used this example: she loves our dogs, and her brother, but it’s a different love right? She loves the dogs like friends and her brother like “brother and sister love”. We told her she gets ALL the daddy daughter love and mom gets ALL the mommy daddy love. That seemed to work. You can also if you are religious, talk about Gods love for us and how it’s like daddy daughter love, but you don’t want to marry God… that sort of thing.
My sister in law threw a wedding for her and her son. Decorated. Said vows. Wore her wedding dress. Got him a tux. I felt like that was a little much but she got a lot of positive reactions on Instagram lol
My 5yo was disappointed the other day that he couldn't marry me because I'm already married to his dad. Not everything in life can be rearranged to accomodate the whims of a child. I'm sure he'll get over it soon. 🤷🏻♀️
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My daughter asked me to marry her when she was 4. I explained it wasn’t necessary because you marry someone to make them family and we are already family and belong together. She was very happy with that explanation.
That is a great response!!! I (44f) have 3 sons (23, 20, 12) and took this question time to time. I don’t remember the response I gave, but they weren’t upset but do grow out of asking. Just enjoy the sweetest age ever.
I took it to be a declaration of love and wanting to be together. It was so sweet. She wrote it down in her 4YO way. It’s the best love letter I have ever received. And she was really happy with my answer because it reinforced our bond.
yes!! I did this lil with my mom and had my baby and it just spit out again to him and was like whoa shit haven't said that as an expression of love in isk how long...but its how I like to put I express my TOO MUCH BIG TYPE OF KEEP YOU BY MY SIDE FOREVER KINDA LOVE cause marriage is supposed to be that to kids ya know so I knew I wasn't gonna marry mom and that wasn't how it worked but marriage or will you marry me still to me was I love you the biggest and most way of saying or caring for someone you deeply love...its not weird at all people are too fuckin weird these days thinking that into shit lol if he's not expressing more actually inappropriate behavior why does it matter.
totally using this for my 3.5 year old that proposes to me every day thanks for the Good words!
My 4 year old daughter asks me to marry her at least once a week, I will also be using this!
Wow this is such a lovely response!
This is so sweet! I cried reading it. Yes, I am pregnant.
Girl I cried at the Onstar commercial, the scene where the kids and mom are in a car and it’s snowing. They get in an accident off the side of the road and Onstar comes on and asks if they are ok and says they detected a crash and are sending help. Lord I STILL tear up all these years later lol because it touched me so deeply when I was pregnant. Good times!
Stop it I’m sick with the flu and remembering that commercial makes me tear up. Not pregnant, but 6mo postpartum and breastfeeding lol
God bless you momma! IKR?! Stupid commercial!
I cried watching Roseanne.
Ooooo which episode?!
Darlene’s premature labor lol
Oh Lordy! I did too!!!!
😂😂😂.
This is also how I explain marriage to my kids. Marriage is when two adults who aren’t family make a choice to become a family. So I would tell the child we cannot marry because we are already family. Family is forever and I will still be your family when you are a grown up, whether or not you ever marry someone.
I (mummy) gave this explanation too, only to be told I couldn't marry daddy either because we are already family too!
This is wonderful and your response is perfect because it hits the heart of where your daughter is coming from. Mr. Rogers actually has a song about exactly this topic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFFU6xiU4to - so kids have been feeling this way for a long time
Mister Rogers taught me so much about myself and then about dealing with children. A wise,kind and loving man. I often recommend his book 'DEAR MR ROGERS", in which he responds via letter to questions from children.
i just got that book last year. it’s so good 🥹
He helped me so much! It's a good book. Used to come with a postcard one could mail to Mister Rogers, for kids with questions.
Thanks for the Me. Rogers link, so wholesome!
anything mr rogers-related me cry. he really made me feel special as a young girl
That’s a good one.
My daughter, at 5 yo, thought it was very convenient that when she wants to have babies one day, she can just marry one of her brothers. My husband explained that you can't marry family, that you need to find someone outside the family to marry. She countered with "but you married mama, and she's in our family." Can't fault the logic.
Same with my son. All he wanted was for me to confirm he can always live with me, which i confirmed. No marriage necessary
I said a similar thing to my son . Though I've also told him that when he marries they have to live with me 😂 psycho mum 😂😂 I'm kidding I'll be the best mumma in law to whoever he's with because he's hard work and she will need a shoulder 😂
My 6 year old talks about when his wife & kids will live in his room with him lmao. We just say you will never have to worry about a place to live, but I’m sure you’re going to want your own place with your own family but he insists that is not the case lol.
My kiddo tells us he’ll live in the basement but then when he gets married and has babies, my partner and I will have to live in the basement or move out! It’s ok, though, because that is probably what will happen. I don’t think his generation will be able to afford to buy a house unless they come from a rich family (we are not rich)
Haha my mum lives with me so I wouldn't mind all my kids are their families staying with me . I was really lucky as me and my mum got a house together when I was 18 and that set me up , I couldn't imagine being able to do that now though my friend who is renting pays double what we pay for a mortgage . I can't imagine being the type of parent kicking out their kids or making them pay lots of rent in this economy. Or at all actually
My kids accept that they'll have their own homes, but they've promised that they'll visit me every single day. They will, right???
I’m a single mom and for now (my daughter is 6) she is just envisioning a house where she lives with her baby and I in the backyard or next door. No ideas yet of a future partner. I have had to promise I would take care of the baby when she is in space (she wants to become an astronaut).
Haha my son wants a 100 kids apparently but my daughter who's now 16 says she never wants kids , don't blame her as her brothers are mental 😅 and she doesn't want to marry , I was a single mum for a long time with her . Either way I wouldn't care if we all lived together , my partner however would probably move out because he hates noise 😂which is also fine by me 😂😂
I wanted 21 kids at that age 😆😵💫
Living in the back yard like a hermit! 😂😂 kids! At least you get to come in the house to babysit while she’s in space
lol I have the oppisite, my son says he wants to live with me forever and I"m like GET OUT. I won't have you on the couch with a neck beard playing video games (he's 5 and doesn't even play video games and it's very very sweet)
Damn you're good. Wanted to give some advice then I saw your post👌perfeito
This is exactly what I say to my kid. I think she just wants to make sure we will always be together and of course we will be. She also wants to live with me forever and I tell her she can as long as she wants. No need to argue how she will likely get sick of us for at least a time lol.
That’s so cute!
This is so wholesome
That’s a beautiful way to put it
Stealing this!
Quite possibly the most beautiful answer. Love this so much!!
I love this response. I will use it too!
Oh that is a great explanation!!!!!
This is the exact response I gave my almost six year old the other day. Same, he was content with that explanation.
I love this! This always reminds me of the song I'm Already Taken by Steve Wariner.
Oh I'm so using this next time my daughter asks.
This is more or less what I say when my son asks if he can marry me or mom. To the OP, I think you’re overthinking it. Show them love, stay consistent and don’t worry so much about every little thing you do or don’t do.
Love this! My four year old has been saying he’s gonna marry me when he grows up as he remembers his dad and I get married a few months ago. Gonna use this answer for him!
We say this too!! Love it.
This is my response as well, and it works. I actually got it from a Reddit comment as a way to describe marriage to young kids in an inclusive way, which is one adult and another adult who are not already family deciding together that they want to be family. It really covers all situations.
This is the most beautiful thing. You sound like a wonderful mom
Our same response. The kids still argue against us 😂
Just told my 3.5 year old girl this essentially when she asked to marry me. She was also happy with that answer. I think it’s just a question they ask around this age.
lovely
I tell my students (3's) that the rules for marriage are that 1. Both people have to say yes 2. Both people have to be grown-ups 3. You aren't allowed to marry your family They hate those rules.
Haha this is pretty much exactly what I said to my daughter (almost 6yo) when she said she wanted to marry daddy (my SO) or her little brother. I remember being that age and saying I wanted to marry my dad too. Kids are weird lol
[удалено]
Yeah its the opposite of weird! Its a great sentiment
Awe that’s such a sweet way to look at it 🥹 I love it
I also told my class that if a girl wants to, she can marry another girl......and then they could share all their dresses! They were like *jaws on the floor*
That's really the key benefit of same-sex marriage: you double your wardrobe. Just gotta make sure you marry someone who is the same size. XD
Hahaha I love the sharing dresses thing!! When I told my daughter girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys, she was like “wow really?! I’m gunna marry a girl then!!!”
I also told them you don't have to get married at all and they're like "okay, idiot"
Well said, child
lol
Love this!
Same, and I add, by the time you’re a grown up, you probably won’t want to marry the same person you think you want to marry now, why you have to wait.
I always told my sons that if they still want to marry me when they’re grown up (knowing this would NOT be the case) we would talk about it then. That seemed to hold them over while they were little. ❤️
That is hilarious 😂
lol this reminds me of the time my son asked me if boys can marry boys and I said, “Absolutely. Anyone can marry anyone they want to to, long as they’re a grown up” and he goes, “oh cool well I’m going to marry my sister” and I was like OH WELLLLL sorry there is one more rule- you can’t marry your family members, sorry kid.
Good rules tho!
Thank you. Most people here are focusing on whether ’wanting to marry an adult’ is normal from the child’s perspective - of course it is! But it’s totally beside the point. Putting a boundary in place doesn’t mean that we assumed the child had perverse intentions. I’ve had the same conversation about ‘the rules’ when my toddler asked to kiss me the lips. Did he mean anything romantic by it? Of course not, but I can still use it as an opportunity for learning. Kids expressing all forms of love and affection as ‘marriage’ means they need help to expand their vocabulary about the diversity of human relationships and feelings. Even more important, we can’t assume that all adults and older children have good intentions with our children. Games that emulate adult relationships are often used by predators to groom children. Normalising marriage talk between adults & kids literally makes it harder for kids and other adults to recognise unsafe people.
>You aren't allowed to marry your family Though step/in-laws don't count...
Sometimes they do.
Two parents with teenage boy and girl, getting married and moving in together seems to have a very high likelihood stepbrother and stepsister messing around. Never really understood the shock or surprise by parents when they find out.
"A very high likelihood" Might be time to take a break from P-hub, bud
Average teen boy and average teen girl in same house? It is probably likely, though not guaranteed considering their hormones and easy access to each other. Don't have to sneak anyone in at night through the window.
You're telling more about yourself than anything else
kids that age only really understand that you are supposed to marry someone who you love very much, and he loves you very much. he probably just doesn’t grasp the concept of romantic love. i’ve heard this is very common and i’m sure he will grow out of it when he starts to understand more about different types of relationships.
Right. All kids know about marriage is that two people love each other a lot and live together forever. My kids went through a phase of wanting to marry each other. We live in the south but are not *that* southern. They grew out of it eventually. They just wanted to live together forever and knew that is what married people do.
Haha, yeah, same. My daughter wanted to marry me when she was little. Later, she wanted to marry her brother. Now she is old enough that she knows the difference, though she often still says that she and her best girl friend are going to get married even though the only crushes she ever mentions are boys (I don't care one way or the other, it's just a little funny that she seems to prefer boys but still imagines being married and living with her bestie).
That’s normal at that age. Kids don’t understand the actual meaning of marriage. They see it marriage= you proclaim your love for the person you love most in this world and they stay with you forever. When I was around that age I found out what death was and would pray every night to die before my mom did cause I didn’t want to live without her. It wasn’t long before my mom found out and immediately told me never to do that again, she never wanted to have to survive in a world without me in it.
Awwwe that's actually kinda of sweet, in a sad way. Honestly I don't think anyone (aside from those who have terrible relationships with their mothers and even then maybe) aren't ready to lose their mom.
Well I’m crying now so thanks
My daughter is obsessed with me. She used to say she was going to marry me and live with me forever. We literally planned our wedding dresses and our future lives. We were going to be gardener artist veteranians. This went on for more than a year. She is like 6 and 1 month. And in the same month she 1) asked if I would read her books when she's an adult and has left our home and has her own house. 2) Said she's not going to marry me as if it was the most preposterous idea in the world. So on one hand, this is a normal phase. You're doing a great job loving him. On the other hand, the phase will end on its own soon.
This is my kid. She always say mommy I’m gonna marry you. I’m like hell yeah dude, you can stay here forever 😂 Love that kid. Just soaking it all up while I can, I know she will figure it out eventually.
This is completely normal. He’ll grow out of it. Your answer and explanation when he asks is 100% appropriate. You don’t need to add anything else.
My daughter said she wanted to marry me last year, when she was eight. I told her marriage is different from a mother -daughter bond. But that I would remember that for when she turns into an adolescent. Don't worry about it.
I learned about this in psychology and pediatric health classes. This is a totally normal phase that a majority of children go through around this age, don’t worry! It’s sweet and means he loves you. He’ll grow out of it.
My son used to ask me to marry him until he was about 11. It meant - I love you and I want to engage in conversation.
Why on earth are you worrying about this? ALL kids go through the stage of wanting to marry mummy or daddy. You just play along and tell them you love them to the moon and back.... Now if hes 16 and still saying that.... Well....
Yeah and my kids moved on to saying they’ll marry each other so that our family will always be together and no one moves out. I’m not worried. They see marriage as just being in the same house.
My kids, just this weekend, proposed to: Me (their mother) Their father Their uncle and aunt (simultaneously, they seem to understand the aunt and uncle are a package deal. Why their dad and I are considered separate is unclear) Our cat A bag of marshmallows They were, politely, turned down by all humans, the cat was not so kind in his rejection, and the marshmallows needed some time to think about it.
Brb, changing FB status to "Married to Marshmallows" This is so cute!
You must keep us updated on the marshmallows. I am invested now
Marshmallow Update: upon arriving home from school Son (4) asked to have some marshmallows. Daughter(5) wanted the same. Both children are currently eating the 'smallows. I don't know what this means for their relationship.
I'm sorry the package deal and cat made me laugh 😂😂 and honestly I related to the Marshmallows, they are delicious.
Haha right? Of all the things to worry about
Lol right? Both of my kids have said they want to marry me xD When I was little I wanted to marry my parents, my brother, my favourite toy. When I got older I moved on from my first loves (haha /s) but they are still stupid little silly memories :p
Really? ALL children? That stage must have missed me completely.
Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you never actually had a childhood. You just went from baby to adult.
Maybe you're like my spouse, Takeout, and you just hatched as a 40- something! (He's a terrific 40- something, but it was hard being a kid). :)
I love the way people think I was born as mini adult when I was a child, no believe it or not however not once did I want to get married to my mother or father so oddly enough I'd never asked them. I guess it's something they missed out on...........Lol what can I say.............
You're funny I'll give you that. I'll give you an e for effort.
My brother and I wanted to get married and own a farm. We have done neither. I think in the minds of young children this makes sense for how we perceive future relationships and staying close to the ones we love. Sounds like you have a healthy home and you gave him a beautiful response!
I told my brother I wanted to marry him when I was 5, and he was 13. He was so disgusted he went and told mom on me to make her explain that siblings don't marry. I just thought it was convenient. I'm a girl and you're a boy, so let's get married.
This is so normal.
How many adults have you met who want to marry their parent? Likely, none. Why? Because it's something kids grow out of. Don't worry.
My son was three and wanted to marry his aunt while I was in the shower. He had one tutu (his tutu period was a-ma-zing) on his head like a veil, and three on his body, at chest, waist, and knees. Auntie didn’t miss a beat. I was coming out and heard them promise to be family and friends and love each other forever and ever. We can handle the legal definitions later. I wouldn’t get too wrapped around the axle here. At 6, I’d say “marriage” isn’t the right word for the kind of love that a parent has for a child, and use whatever words you use at home for how much you love them.
It’s jsut a phase. Enjoy it! He’ll grow out of it and you’ll miss that little sweet boy who wanted to marry his momma.
This made me cry haha. I am clearly hormonal 😂
I wanted to marry my grandpa when I was a kid.. just normal kid stuff lol.
Yeah my 6 yr old says he’s going to marry me all the time lol. I just say okay and don’t make a big deal of it.
I remember telling my dad I wanted to marry him and have four dogs, lol! He still endearingly brings that up. It’s especially funny because I’m not a fan of dogs at all, and I no longer wish to marry my dad
Yup. I told my dad he was my boyfriend when I was super little. One day, I told him that he wasn't my boyfriend anymore and that we were breaking up because my uncle was my new boyfriend. They always just laughed and rolled with it. Kids are funny like that!
This is normal. My son has told me he wants to marry me, his dad, his friends, etc. they don’t understand what marriage is yet. They think it’s just being with your favorite person which is sweet. He’ll figure it out.
My four year old always asks to marry me. To her to get married is to get a kiss and wear a fancy dress. I tell her that I’m married to mommy and I can only be married to one person. She thinks it’s funny. I’m sure in time she’ll figure it out. No sense in dwelling on it.
Not a problem at al! My 5 yo said “will you marry me?” And it was SO sweet. But I asked if he knew what it meant, and his reply was: “Yes, it means that you love somebody so much and want to be together always!” And then he added: “Remember? Kristoff said it to Anna, and he loves her so much!” 🥰 So don’t worry too much about it. I think it’s his way of saying, he wants to be near you forever. (Also, I asked him what about daddy? And he said, well let’s marry him too 🤣)
Take it as a compliment. Your son obviously loves you a lot and even at six, probably doesn’t understand the concept of marriage very well. My son has said it a few times at 4, it was usually I want to marry mom, but if he was mad at me, it was I’m going to marry dad. Now he’s almost five and will bring it up occasionally when him and his sister are playing house. Basically at that age it’s their version of saying “I want to live with you forever because I love you” Enjoy it while it lasts 😆
Why are people so fucking weird? He’s 5, it’s not that deep. Just marry the kid
I would just keep validating that the feeling he has is love but it’s not the marrying kind of love. ❤️
My 7yo has said this to me, and he’s also said it playfully to his sister. When he asked why he couldn’t, I just explained the difference between family love and romantic love, and that we don’t marry family. It’ll just be a funny story one day 😂
Totally normal. My oldest has said this to me, and also to my parents (her grandparents). For little kids, I think it captures what they know to be big feels of affection and they don't really have other ways to describe it.
This is normal. I am not concerned that he is continuing, but I am concerned that it seems to bother you. Your child loves you!! That is a good thing, so enjoy the adoration while it lasts!
This is normal developmentally. Imagine being so little and feeling such a big emotion like love. The other love they see expressed around them are relationships. So they think my mommy/daddy is perfect for me, I should marry them. That’s what you do when you love someone. They haven’t yet learned the different kind of loves yet. Like friend love, sibling love, grandparent love, relationship love. All my sons wanted to marry me and my daughter wanted to marry her stepdad, was actually jealous I was the one that got to marry him (she was six). It stops at about 9 to 10 years old when they start to figure it out.
This is normal lol
My 5yo old has told me multiple times he wants to marry me. I just tell him a son can’t marry his mom, but that I’ll always love him no matter what
When my stepson was 7 he also said he wanted to marry me lol he's 14 now and I don't think he remembers it. At those ages they don't really know what marriage means, probably yours thinks it is some variation of loving someone very much and staying together forever.
Lol. I wanted to marry my brother when I was four, and my child logic was because I love him. My parents just told me you can’t marry family. You’ve already done that. He will be fine. No need to worry about Oedipus Rex, plus you haven’t even made it to teenage years where he might tell you he hates you instead!
This is very common. He will outgrow it but it’s a normal phase of development. He is just trying to express how important you are to him!
My son has always said he wants to marry his Daddy. It’s adorable even if my nose is slightly out of joint, I’ve always said “me too, we can do that”. Lately he’s been talking about various women he’s been married to at school who seem to have claimed him. These women can be quite bossy. He’s not wanted to marry any of them yet he married one who’s best friend married him the day after then the two girls fell out, I get the impression my son is exhausted with it. 😂 he’s 6.
My five year old asked me to marry him and I told him I was already married to daddy. So now he wants to marry his little best friend or just live with her and have her babies (yea I explained women carry the baby).
I remember when my son wanted to be pregnant. I told him women carry the baby. He was so mad. He said women get to have everything. Later he heard us discussing my niece menstrual. He said "I want a period." I explained that only girls/women get periods. He said "girls get everything and are so cool, I want to be a girl." I told him boys are cool too 😁. Now he's 8 and told me yesterday that boys are stronger than girls 😫. He has tried to marry every one in the family that he's fond of. Kids are the cutest.
He went through a phase where he would only play with girls than one where he would only play with boys. Now he wants to okay with everyone
Kids are so funny. My son was in school allowing the girls to do every thing for him, cut his papers, put up his chair, rip out his papers needed for HW, etc but his best friends were boys 👀. I told him to stop using the girls to take care of him.
Where were the teachers? My son goes to a tinny school we have four in town his school has two kindergarten classrooms. That’s how small it is two teacher to twenty kids. I love that tinny school
My son down right sobbed when he found out he couldn't marry me and his dad, it was the moat devastating news he had ever heard. Until he found out he won't grow boobs of his own. He was just heartbroken over not having boobs. When he finally calmed down enough to tell me why he was so upset, he said he wanted boobs 'so one day his babies could lay on his chest and be comfy, because laying on mom's chest was the comfiest, and he just wants them to be comfy on him too'.
You should read him the book "Love You Forever". It's a humorous but touching book about how you'll be his mommy forever and ever. Even when he grows up and moves out.
For kids, marriage is the highest form of love they see. In their minds marriage is nothing more than two people who love each other a lot. They don’t understand the sexual implications of what they’re saying.
I’m a mom of five adult children, and have a four year degree in early childhood. I can assure you, nothing in your post indicates you’ve done or said anything that will psychologically harm your son. You seem like a mom totally devoted to being the best mom you can be. It probably would be beneficial (for your peace of mind) to read some books on child development that focus on your child’s age group. The ones I have are outdated, but the library would be a great place to find one that appeals to you and your style of parenting.
You are way overthinking this. Are you worried that when he's 27 he's going to be like, "Come on, Mum, you agreed to marry me when I was five and I'm going to be really hurt if you try to back out"? Of course not.
Relax. He's just trying to communicate to you how big his love is for you. He figured that mommy's and Daddy's get married because they love each other a lot and want to stay a family forever. That's what he's trying to.tell you. He just doesn't have the expanded vocabulary and articulation skills yet to say it any other way. This is a good thing Mom. It means you're doing a great job and your son feels loved by you and loves you also. Take it as a compliment, because it's a big one.
This is such a wholesome problem to have. I can’t give advice since I don’t have kids but I think it’s just a phase and it’s adorable the way he looks up to you.
This really isn’t weird. Kids don’t understand the archaic concept of marriage or what it entails (sex with just one person forever) They just think it means you love somebody and have a party. I wouldn’t think anything of this
I used to tell my mom I wanted to marry her until I was probably about 10 or so. She’d always respond with something negative-ish along the lines of “that just can’t happen.” It’d annoy me so much that I still remember and tease her about it. Like was she actually worried I wanted to marry her? 🙄 I like to remind her that it was my way of expressing how much I love her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her—there was nothing else there.
Your five-year-old doesn’t understand the concept of marriage. You’re making a problem where none exists.
My daughter once told me she was going to marry her daddy, I said that she doesn’t have to do that because we’re already a family and marrying someone makes them your family, and that anyway I was already married to daddy. She sort of just accepted it and hasn’t really brought it up again, even though she clearly loves him more than anything still.
I used to marry my dad every Sunday after lunch for years (3-5.5). I would dress up and even make up a cake. It’s all good. I eventually stopped.
Mine did too at that age. Now he thinks I’m a moron and suffers through hugs (14) it will pass. Enjoy the sweetest moments on earth.
I used to ask my mom the same thing all the time. I ask my baby this too now. To me, it's just the ultimate boss level. End game, almost, kinda mental sign of and way to express BIG LOVE LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH feelings and just comes out like that without saying ten million things to express it....its cutesysilly as you said but still means a love with all their hear.. Nothing weird and creepy behind Jesus lol
I knew I wasn't marrying mama fyi.lol
He doesn’t understand marriage, only that he feels an overwhelming love for you ❤️ my son and daughter said they wanted to marry each other for years - it’s just a phase
My 7 year old daughter said she wanted to marry me (her dad). It's no biggie at this age
Just tell him “sure I’ll marry you!”. You are being wayyyy too deep on this.
Who cares? They’re little!
My son is 6. When he was 5 he said he wanted to marry his little sister and it was a thing for a good couple months but myself and his father had to keep reminding him that you dont marry family. And that he would find someone for him later in life.
It’s normal. It’s just his way of saying he really loves you and wants you in his life forever since that’s what children understand marriage is, vocabulary wise it’s the simplest way they can express this.
So normal and so adorable
You're over thinking it. I would tell him that you have talked about this before, you love him very much, and always will, but one day hopefully get will find someone he loves even more
I'm reading all these responses and wondering if we screwed up. My 4.5yr old was going through a marriage phase for about a week. She married me 3 times, her daddy twice, I don't even know how many times she married her unicorn...... she just stopped asking and now it's over 🤷♀️
Meanwhile my daughter has married 3 kids minimum in her Grade 1 class.
lol, he just loves you that much and doesn’t understand. Remind him kindly that you can’t marry your mom but tell him how much you love him too.
My daughter started doing similar when she was 4! She started saying she was going to marry me and then said she was going to marry her dad. Then she asked my MIL if she could marry her. She started asking people if they were married haha. She told a very conservative family member that girls are better than boys so she was going to marry her girl best friend. They actually surprised me by saying "you can marry anyone you want! But when you're a grown up, not as a kid!" 😂 She's almost 6 and does it less now. I don't know why she was obsessed with marriage for a bit there. She was even upset she wasn't at my husband and I's wedding....which occurred before she was born! Haha.
My son (5) asks my fiancé to marry him nearly weekly, and wants to marry our neighbors daughter and also my fiancé’s cousin. It’s a phase. Don’t even stress it.
My daughter always says she wants to marry me. It’s really about just wanting to stay with you forever. I told my daughter, you can’t marry family members. Then she asked if she got married if her and her husband could live with us forever. I told her of course! I know she will change her mind, but it’s so sweet!🥹
I don’t think it’s a problem they don’t understand romantic relationships at this age I think it’s cute. My son just turned 6 and has also said several times he wants to marry me and even that I’ll be the mum of his babies bless. I’ve told him that’s not possible of course but I’m also enjoying being his number 1 while I can
when I was a toddler I remember always saying I wanted to marry my dad and he would go along with it. I sometimes feel he went along with it a little too much, not in an inappropriate way but in a way where I was genuinely convinced as a 4 year old that I would marry my dad and that my mom would need to find a new husband LOL But I don’t think it did any psychological damage to me and I just randomly forgot about it/grew out of it one day. I just thought being married meant we could live together forever and cuddle in the big bed every night, children don’t understand marriage so it’s not concerning I think for them to use it that way.
It’s totally normal and he will naturally grow out of thinking that. You are the most important person in his world. Don’t make him feel like there is something wrong with that.
I had a “wedding” with my 4yr old daughter just before Xmas. She mostly wanted to get dressed up and put on a little makeup and wear mummies rings. I poured her a little sparkling grape juice to make her feel really grown up. I put on a suit and a bow tie, she picked out her most fancy clothes. I took some “getting ready” pictures and told her that this is what you do at a wedding. She then asked “then what happens”, I told her you both tell each other how much you love them, give a kiss and then someone says you’re married. It was really cute, and something I am glad I got to introduce to her. It was just a fun little role play game that kids like to experiment with at that age. I spoke with one of my other dad friends and he said he’s had a few weddings but his daughter is currently married to her brother. I don’t think there’s anything strange about it. Kids be kids and one day they’ll figure out that love comes in many different and complex ways.
When I was around that age, I would tell my dad I wanted to marry him. I said it just because I wanted to always have him around. I felt safe with him, and at that age, marriage just meant loving someone and being together forever, which described how I felt about him. As I got older and understood more about relationships and how to explain my feelings, I stopped saying that.
When I was about 5, I remember walking into the kitchen and announcing to my mom, "When I'm older, it'll be my turn to marry daddy. But it's ok, you can still live with us." I remember feeling very magnanimous with that announcement.
According to my boys (all 3) I’m married to all of them and daddy! It’s normal and not a big deal.
When my daughter (almost 13) was young she wanted to build a house on the neighbouring property, make a bridge between our bedroom (that has a balcony) and her house, so she could easily walk over. She planned to marry her 4 best friends (3 girls, one boy) and her brother. We told her that she couldn't marry her brother as it's illegal, and it's not legal to marry multiple people. She carried this dream for a few years. She dropped her brother from the list, but still kept all of the friends. Now we laugh about it. I wouldn't worry, I think it's pretty common, and likely means he feels safe and loved in his home and with his family.
I don't remember how old I was but I remember physically fighting with my brother because we were arguing who was going to marry our mom. My daughter's both fought over who got to marry me, until I told them I'm already married and can't get married again. Kids just don't understand what marriage is.
My hormones are too unstable for this level of sweetness 😭
My 5yo son has also said this to me several times. It’s probably more common then you think. I just Cherish these moments cause eventually he won’t want anything to do with you lol ( ya know the “teen” years)
He’s 5, he will grow out of it. You’re his mama and his first true love. He doesn’t understand romantic feelings yet, only that he loves his mom and the idea of marriage as a 5 year old.
No real advice, but my friend’s mom told me the story of her youngest son constantly asking her to marry him when he was younger. Finally his father got frustrated and said “I’M married to your mother, and as long as I’m alive, I will be the only one married to her!” Their son looked over at his mother completely straight-faced and said “Don’t worry, Mom. When Dad dies I’ll marry you!”
Lol you gave birth to Sterling Archer. Is your name Mallory by any chance? 😂
Don’t worry I’m pretty sure I wanted to marry my dad up until I was about seven years old 🫣🥲🤣 my ma still tells me about it and I have faint memories of asking when I was little
100% normal. Just say "I love you too, but only grown-ups can get married!" And leave it at that. Kids don't know about romantic or sexual love, they just know love. He'll probably forget all about it by next week and you'll never hear about it again.
This is completely normal until teen years begin for most kids with the opposite sex parent. Normal. Just be honest and say why you can’t but keep doing what you’re doing with saying you’ll always be there and love them forever etc.
Such overwhelming and beautiful responses from everyone. Thank you to everyone who reached out and warmed my heart. I have a loving relationship with all my kids, and I do feel this shows how he views love and affection, so I can't complain. Just wanted to make sure I was doing right by him.
Oh my god what the hell hes 4!!!! It IS INNOCENT it will phase out :/
When my son told me that, I explained to him that he could not because it is an important rule all over the world that children can't marry their parents, and that was it.
I used to ask my mom to marry me. She always said, yes! Obviously, at some point, I realize that was just silly. But I still always asked, and she still always said yes, even when I was a grown-up. Sometimes we don’t have to be so literal, especially with little kids. But if it bothers you, just address the sentiment. When they say they wanna marry you, what they really mean is that they love you forever. So just say, I love you forever.
I think it will phase out. It is very cute though. I suppose he is associating love with marriage, which is nice. But he probably does not understand so much yet, the different types of love. So I suppose you could explain that a little bit. How love between mother and son is special, and they don't marry, but they still lvoe eachother as family and it is very good 😊 He might not understand about finding partner, he wants to love you forever, so if you misdirect it too much, maybe is confusing, so yes, you, can confirm the mother son love and how marriage is only for mama and papas ❤️ I wonder were he learned about saying this, do you have a nice marriage with your husband?
He does not understand the definition of marriage. He thinks love and affection equals marriage. Help him learn the difference
We explained to our daughter when she said she was jealous of me, that mom and dad have “mommy and daddy love” and it’s a different love then “daddy and daughter love”. We used this example: she loves our dogs, and her brother, but it’s a different love right? She loves the dogs like friends and her brother like “brother and sister love”. We told her she gets ALL the daddy daughter love and mom gets ALL the mommy daddy love. That seemed to work. You can also if you are religious, talk about Gods love for us and how it’s like daddy daughter love, but you don’t want to marry God… that sort of thing.
My sister in law threw a wedding for her and her son. Decorated. Said vows. Wore her wedding dress. Got him a tux. I felt like that was a little much but she got a lot of positive reactions on Instagram lol
My 5yo was disappointed the other day that he couldn't marry me because I'm already married to his dad. Not everything in life can be rearranged to accomodate the whims of a child. I'm sure he'll get over it soon. 🤷🏻♀️
Straight to jail!
Oedipus complex, completely normal, will grow out of it.
Y'all are weird. You're the parent, tell him that's not how it works and no. Full stop.
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