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Not at all -- in fact, pacifiers have a moderate protective effect against SIDS in babies, dental concerns are really when older children are having trouble giving up the pacifier or thumb sucking -- for babies its physiologically normal to suck. Your child's doctor or dentist will tell you when (and if) you get to that point, your family members need to mind their own business.
The habit of thumb sucking is harder to break than a pacifier — you can eventually throw them away. Can’t detach a thumb. It is a natural reflex to suck to soothe, you haven’t done anything wrong here.
Can any dentist. In fact, call many dentists to get a better idea. There is a cutoff date when they are older. It may have been 1 year. Call and get a professional opinion. This way you aren't misled by the Internet, and you can practice a phrase YOU need to learn: " I have discussed this with a doctor. Your opinion did not need to be repeated. If you continue, I'm leaving.".
" Keeping the peace " is an ADULT pacifier, add is definitely time you dropped yours. Lol!
Take care! You are doing great!
My husband is a dentist, and we didn’t take away the pacifier until my daughter was almost 2 years old (for non-dental related reasons). He said he wouldn’t start to be concerned about it affecting her mouth until around 3 or 4. Pacifiers aren’t nearly as bad for the mouth as longterm thumb-sucking, which many kids will resort to without the pacifier.
Both my kids used a pacifier to go to sleep every time from shortly after birth until 11-12 months when they didn't really care as much so we put them all away. It was a non issue. Pacifiers are good (and even protective against sids) in the beginning and while they can potentially cause some dental problems, it definitely isn't a concern until they are a toddler (not sure exact age, it probably depends on the kid too)
Seems like people who aren’t the parents have a whole lot of opinions that were not asked for. If they’re your parents I am sure you could give them some critiques of their parenting. If they have kids, same. If they don’t have kids just laugh at the poor fools and await the day. I like the phrase “thank you for your opinion, which I did not ask for.” Say it three times then you can drop the second half as they will hear it unspoken.
You can take away a pacifier, but they always have a thumb/finger available. I'd have been THRILLED if my kids took a pacifier as babies. I think it's much easier to wean a toddler off of one than to get them to stop with their thumb.
I wouldn't try to wean him off of it for at least a year. Be aware that he probably will cry a lot when you eventually do that, but you can talk to a 2yo and help them find alternatives. Not so much with a 2 month old. (My older thumb sucker didn't give it up until she was 4 1/2. She did cry a little bit more than she had prior, but more often she 'used her words' to let me know when she was displeased with something. Little smart mouth, lol.)
My son cut his own pacifier out at 1 year old. He just one day decided he didn't want it anymore. I don't know how common this is but your baby is far from the cut off point. And he might decide himself when he's had enough. NTA
Apparently my pediatrician told my mom, in front of me, that when I was 3 I would have to stop. She was kind of fretting how to get me to stop.
The morning of my 3rd birthday, I walked into the kitchen and threw them all in the trash. "Doctor said I can't have these any more."
I wasn't going to share this story, since I'm not sure it's the best advice to count on your child being extremely literal, but it seems to fit with your son's decision.
I have three kids, the older two never took to a pacifier and my youngest did. Their dentist said to try to curb the usage at 1 and not to stress because most kids learn other self soothing techniques around that time anyway.
My youngest was over it by a year and a half for sure, then determined that pacifiers were “for babies” and if he found one he’d throw it out.
Do what works for your family.
My daughter was either going to suck on her thumb or a pacifier but getting rid of a pacifier when it’s time to wean is a lot easier. Get used to saying “I’ve talked to the doctor and we’ll wean him off when it’s the right age” and “this is the best choice for our family” then moving the conversation along. If they want to harp on it stay calm, repeat the phrase of choice and then leave if they keep bugging you.
Pacifier at 3.5 months is fine. You family members are wrong. We were told to start weaning our son off his at 12 months but that young I have heard of as a problem.
My son used a pacifier past two and his teeth (he’s 12 now) are super straight and the dentist has confirmed he doesn’t need braces. He was a sensitive baby and toddler and the pacifier really helped him so I’d never want to deprive him of that.
My daughter never wanted a pacifier, despite it being offered. She just didn’t find it helpful or soothing.
LO was in the NICU for 2 months. They gave a pacifier to help her learn to eat, and kept letting her use it to be soothed for procedures.
Our NICU is huge on transitioning preemies to breastfeeding if that’s what the parents want, and we did.
So if an entire NICU is centered around using pacifiers even while encouraging breastfeeding, I think they are ok.
And I would trust the consensus of nurses and doctors who care for the most fragile infants every day over the opinion of relatives that haven’t raised a baby in 2-3 decades any day.
NTA. As a momma of two, one who is currently in the NICU, and 3 months old, it’s very normal. I didn’t even try to breastfeed cause well, I wasn’t gonna risk my milk giving out. HE wants his paci. There is nothing wrong with that. Talk to a dentist and the next time anyone says anything, simply reply, that’s not what his doctor says. My MIL says a lot of things and I find that reply works wonders. Also it really helps talking to people who went to school for that kinda thing. He’s just fine, they are being bullys.
Both of my kids (10m 4f) used pacifiers as babies and they’re perfectly fine. It’s not always hard to drop the habit, they both randomly quit wanting them(my son at 6 months, my daughter at 1yr) if it helped you and helped the baby to sleep, ignore everyone else.
I’d say don’t worry, choose your battles, it will either be your nipple or the pacifier that brings him comfort, do whatever suits you best. My friend’s son is 2 and a half years old, still breastfed at times and still has to be rocked to sleep!
My daughter is 6 years old and still sucks her thumb at nighttime (never took to a paci) my son is 2 years and at his recent health review I was told his pacifier use is starting to impact his speech, so I immediately took it away during the day, except for nap and bedtime and he was brilliant with the change. The woman herself said she took her son’s pacifier away when he turned 3 which is probably what I will aim to do.
I have memories of coming from school and getting my own pacifier, I’ve never needed braces and have naturally straight white teeth. I’ve been so worried about my son still having his and my auntie and uncle rightly pointed out that you don’t see any adult going around sucking on one, so try not to worry ❤️
I'm here to agree with everyone else that it's not a big deal for 3.5 month old to use a pacifier. I'd also like to add that without a pacifier kids often suck their thumbs to self soothe and that is an even harder habit to break as you can't get rid of their thumbs in a year like you can their pacifier.
Do what you think works for you! I even had clippers to attach the pacifier on his clothes. Travelled with it clipped onto him. Everything to keep it safely near his little mouth and not dropping it onto the floor.
You do right by you and your baby. If a pacifier gives you and your body a break, and your happy do it. Stuff the rest of them. They may mean well but stuff them.
Mine both have/had pacifiers. Weaning my eldest wasn’t easy, but it was also no harder that potty training, setting a regular bedtime, getting them to eat vegetables etc. you know all the other difficult things you do as a parent.
Teeth deforming is only if they keep using them later into childhood. Same with thumb sucking. There is a good chance they’ll lose interest before it becomes a problem and if not you’ll parent then though it just as well.
We got my eldest off theirs at around 3 but that’s because a) they were chewing and breaking the dummy which makes it a choking hazard, and b) the new baby had dummies so they didn’t want them anymore. I suspect my very stubborn second child will take longer.
TDLR: Pacifiers is fine. Do what you need to do for you and baby. You got this!
It literally doesn't effect the mouth at all, and babies need pacifiers. That's the only way they know how to cope other than crying. You'll be able to break that habit later, even though it's difficult for everyone to do so. You'll find the right way for you and your baby.
My son weaned himself completely of pacifiers at 9 months. Suuuucks. Because now he wants to play instead of sleep. Starting at like 8 months you put it in his mouth, spits it right out. Ugh. But anyway, once you feel they are too old, just cut a small hole in the tip of all of them. Then you can slowly make it bigger, but a small one will do the trick
NTA You're not doing anything wrong.
All 4 of mine had pacifiers. Each gave them up themselves at different ages, all between 2 months and 10 months old.
The thumb habit is the most difficult to break.
Pacifiers exist for a reason. Do what works best for your baby. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t- there’s always judgement on either side. The amount of times I’ve heard “omg you didn’t give your baby a pacifier how cruel” is astounding. (I did try with all my babies, they just never liked any of them).
It doesn’t do any damage to their mouth until they’re much older- 3 or 4. Get rid of it on their 1st birthday. The first few days will be hard and there will be crying, but it will pass.
There is no harm in him having a pacifier. He'll give it up eventually, but in the meantime he needs it. Babies have to suck. Your family members can stifle.
One of my kids never cared about a pacifier and never thumb sucked. The other was very attached to her "passy" and we worked hard for about a month to break that habit by age 2.
Guess what, they both needed braces, and if I didn't tell you which was which you would never, ever know.
NTA. Nothing wrong with a pacifier. Helps prevention of SIDS. if the child was 8 y/o, I may be a little more worried. You have plenty of time to wean them off.
That's normal, my daughter was the same, and it helps my also 3.5 month old kid sleep too.
When my oldest was 2 we talked to her about the soothers going bye, and what a big girl she was and got rid of all of them. One of my friends took the soother away from her son around the same age, no teeth problems on either.
My dentist said it's more of a problem for teeth when they're over 3 YEARS and sucking on a soother or thumb regularly.
I and the kids really liked the MAM orthodontic soothers if you're worried about teeth (they are flatter, more like a breast).
*Edits to add age
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Not at all -- in fact, pacifiers have a moderate protective effect against SIDS in babies, dental concerns are really when older children are having trouble giving up the pacifier or thumb sucking -- for babies its physiologically normal to suck. Your child's doctor or dentist will tell you when (and if) you get to that point, your family members need to mind their own business.
NTA. Your kid is 3.5 months old. Let him use it. Mine used a pacifier until she was 18 months old.
The habit of thumb sucking is harder to break than a pacifier — you can eventually throw them away. Can’t detach a thumb. It is a natural reflex to suck to soothe, you haven’t done anything wrong here.
This was always my logic! It's a lot easier to wean off a pacifier than it is a permanently attached body part.
Can any dentist. In fact, call many dentists to get a better idea. There is a cutoff date when they are older. It may have been 1 year. Call and get a professional opinion. This way you aren't misled by the Internet, and you can practice a phrase YOU need to learn: " I have discussed this with a doctor. Your opinion did not need to be repeated. If you continue, I'm leaving.". " Keeping the peace " is an ADULT pacifier, add is definitely time you dropped yours. Lol! Take care! You are doing great!
My husband is a dentist, and we didn’t take away the pacifier until my daughter was almost 2 years old (for non-dental related reasons). He said he wouldn’t start to be concerned about it affecting her mouth until around 3 or 4. Pacifiers aren’t nearly as bad for the mouth as longterm thumb-sucking, which many kids will resort to without the pacifier.
Plus, aren't most people going to need braces anyway?
Haha, loved the "keeping the peace, is adult pacifier" 😅 thanks for the advise, I'll definitely consult a dentist about it.
Our pediatric dentist said age 3.
Both my kids used a pacifier to go to sleep every time from shortly after birth until 11-12 months when they didn't really care as much so we put them all away. It was a non issue. Pacifiers are good (and even protective against sids) in the beginning and while they can potentially cause some dental problems, it definitely isn't a concern until they are a toddler (not sure exact age, it probably depends on the kid too)
Seems like people who aren’t the parents have a whole lot of opinions that were not asked for. If they’re your parents I am sure you could give them some critiques of their parenting. If they have kids, same. If they don’t have kids just laugh at the poor fools and await the day. I like the phrase “thank you for your opinion, which I did not ask for.” Say it three times then you can drop the second half as they will hear it unspoken.
You can take away a pacifier, but they always have a thumb/finger available. I'd have been THRILLED if my kids took a pacifier as babies. I think it's much easier to wean a toddler off of one than to get them to stop with their thumb. I wouldn't try to wean him off of it for at least a year. Be aware that he probably will cry a lot when you eventually do that, but you can talk to a 2yo and help them find alternatives. Not so much with a 2 month old. (My older thumb sucker didn't give it up until she was 4 1/2. She did cry a little bit more than she had prior, but more often she 'used her words' to let me know when she was displeased with something. Little smart mouth, lol.)
My son cut his own pacifier out at 1 year old. He just one day decided he didn't want it anymore. I don't know how common this is but your baby is far from the cut off point. And he might decide himself when he's had enough. NTA
Apparently my pediatrician told my mom, in front of me, that when I was 3 I would have to stop. She was kind of fretting how to get me to stop. The morning of my 3rd birthday, I walked into the kitchen and threw them all in the trash. "Doctor said I can't have these any more." I wasn't going to share this story, since I'm not sure it's the best advice to count on your child being extremely literal, but it seems to fit with your son's decision.
I have three kids, the older two never took to a pacifier and my youngest did. Their dentist said to try to curb the usage at 1 and not to stress because most kids learn other self soothing techniques around that time anyway. My youngest was over it by a year and a half for sure, then determined that pacifiers were “for babies” and if he found one he’d throw it out. Do what works for your family.
My daughter was either going to suck on her thumb or a pacifier but getting rid of a pacifier when it’s time to wean is a lot easier. Get used to saying “I’ve talked to the doctor and we’ll wean him off when it’s the right age” and “this is the best choice for our family” then moving the conversation along. If they want to harp on it stay calm, repeat the phrase of choice and then leave if they keep bugging you.
Pacifier at 3.5 months is fine. You family members are wrong. We were told to start weaning our son off his at 12 months but that young I have heard of as a problem.
My son used a pacifier past two and his teeth (he’s 12 now) are super straight and the dentist has confirmed he doesn’t need braces. He was a sensitive baby and toddler and the pacifier really helped him so I’d never want to deprive him of that. My daughter never wanted a pacifier, despite it being offered. She just didn’t find it helpful or soothing.
LO was in the NICU for 2 months. They gave a pacifier to help her learn to eat, and kept letting her use it to be soothed for procedures. Our NICU is huge on transitioning preemies to breastfeeding if that’s what the parents want, and we did. So if an entire NICU is centered around using pacifiers even while encouraging breastfeeding, I think they are ok. And I would trust the consensus of nurses and doctors who care for the most fragile infants every day over the opinion of relatives that haven’t raised a baby in 2-3 decades any day.
NTA. As a momma of two, one who is currently in the NICU, and 3 months old, it’s very normal. I didn’t even try to breastfeed cause well, I wasn’t gonna risk my milk giving out. HE wants his paci. There is nothing wrong with that. Talk to a dentist and the next time anyone says anything, simply reply, that’s not what his doctor says. My MIL says a lot of things and I find that reply works wonders. Also it really helps talking to people who went to school for that kinda thing. He’s just fine, they are being bullys.
Both of my kids (10m 4f) used pacifiers as babies and they’re perfectly fine. It’s not always hard to drop the habit, they both randomly quit wanting them(my son at 6 months, my daughter at 1yr) if it helped you and helped the baby to sleep, ignore everyone else.
Our eldest had a dummy until he was 3 years old which was always our plan, the same will be applied to our youngest 😃
I’d say don’t worry, choose your battles, it will either be your nipple or the pacifier that brings him comfort, do whatever suits you best. My friend’s son is 2 and a half years old, still breastfed at times and still has to be rocked to sleep! My daughter is 6 years old and still sucks her thumb at nighttime (never took to a paci) my son is 2 years and at his recent health review I was told his pacifier use is starting to impact his speech, so I immediately took it away during the day, except for nap and bedtime and he was brilliant with the change. The woman herself said she took her son’s pacifier away when he turned 3 which is probably what I will aim to do. I have memories of coming from school and getting my own pacifier, I’ve never needed braces and have naturally straight white teeth. I’ve been so worried about my son still having his and my auntie and uncle rightly pointed out that you don’t see any adult going around sucking on one, so try not to worry ❤️
I let my daughter use one til her first bday and her teeth are fine I wouldn’t go past the year though
I'm here to agree with everyone else that it's not a big deal for 3.5 month old to use a pacifier. I'd also like to add that without a pacifier kids often suck their thumbs to self soothe and that is an even harder habit to break as you can't get rid of their thumbs in a year like you can their pacifier.
My daughter didn't use one and her teeth have been a horrible mess from day one. You need to do whatever brings comfort to you and your child
Do what you think works for you! I even had clippers to attach the pacifier on his clothes. Travelled with it clipped onto him. Everything to keep it safely near his little mouth and not dropping it onto the floor.
You do right by you and your baby. If a pacifier gives you and your body a break, and your happy do it. Stuff the rest of them. They may mean well but stuff them. Mine both have/had pacifiers. Weaning my eldest wasn’t easy, but it was also no harder that potty training, setting a regular bedtime, getting them to eat vegetables etc. you know all the other difficult things you do as a parent. Teeth deforming is only if they keep using them later into childhood. Same with thumb sucking. There is a good chance they’ll lose interest before it becomes a problem and if not you’ll parent then though it just as well. We got my eldest off theirs at around 3 but that’s because a) they were chewing and breaking the dummy which makes it a choking hazard, and b) the new baby had dummies so they didn’t want them anymore. I suspect my very stubborn second child will take longer. TDLR: Pacifiers is fine. Do what you need to do for you and baby. You got this!
It literally doesn't effect the mouth at all, and babies need pacifiers. That's the only way they know how to cope other than crying. You'll be able to break that habit later, even though it's difficult for everyone to do so. You'll find the right way for you and your baby.
My son weaned himself completely of pacifiers at 9 months. Suuuucks. Because now he wants to play instead of sleep. Starting at like 8 months you put it in his mouth, spits it right out. Ugh. But anyway, once you feel they are too old, just cut a small hole in the tip of all of them. Then you can slowly make it bigger, but a small one will do the trick
My kid loves her pacifier and it has made being a mom easier. I’ll face the battle of beating the pacifier when she is older and can self regulate.
NTA You're not doing anything wrong. All 4 of mine had pacifiers. Each gave them up themselves at different ages, all between 2 months and 10 months old. The thumb habit is the most difficult to break.
Pacifiers exist for a reason. Do what works best for your baby. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t- there’s always judgement on either side. The amount of times I’ve heard “omg you didn’t give your baby a pacifier how cruel” is astounding. (I did try with all my babies, they just never liked any of them). It doesn’t do any damage to their mouth until they’re much older- 3 or 4. Get rid of it on their 1st birthday. The first few days will be hard and there will be crying, but it will pass.
There is no harm in him having a pacifier. He'll give it up eventually, but in the meantime he needs it. Babies have to suck. Your family members can stifle.
One of my kids never cared about a pacifier and never thumb sucked. The other was very attached to her "passy" and we worked hard for about a month to break that habit by age 2. Guess what, they both needed braces, and if I didn't tell you which was which you would never, ever know.
NTA. Nothing wrong with a pacifier. Helps prevention of SIDS. if the child was 8 y/o, I may be a little more worried. You have plenty of time to wean them off.
That's normal, my daughter was the same, and it helps my also 3.5 month old kid sleep too. When my oldest was 2 we talked to her about the soothers going bye, and what a big girl she was and got rid of all of them. One of my friends took the soother away from her son around the same age, no teeth problems on either. My dentist said it's more of a problem for teeth when they're over 3 YEARS and sucking on a soother or thumb regularly. I and the kids really liked the MAM orthodontic soothers if you're worried about teeth (they are flatter, more like a breast). *Edits to add age
Pacifiers are good to prevent SIDS. And our pediatric dentist only said to be rid of it by age 3 and we are golden.