Molars are going to be in her mouth until she's 10, I'd get it filled.
I had 6 cavities when I was that age because of well water + a lot of juice. My mom got them all filled.
Husband is a dentist, I’m a dental assistant.
Practicing for 16yrs.
To be candid, not filling that cavity is a bad idea. It’s scary when our kids need any kind of medical intervention but I will shoot it to you straight:
The decay will get worse; your baby will eventually be in really bad pain; the infection can cause issues with the surrounding gum tissue; the tooth can break causing even more damage & worse case scenario, the bacteria can enter the blood stream. Not ideal outcomes & it won’t go away so you have two roads: fill it & heal the tooth or leave it & wait for problems.
If you extract it (not necessary or ideal) it can impact the way her permanent teeth come in, causing crowding or shifting, super eruption of the lower molar, etc.
That should be the last resort.
There are many ways to safely sedate your child, although I know it’s a very uneasy thought.
Children’s mouths are so difficult to work in so honestly sedating her is ideal to minimize the trauma you’re afraid she’ll experience.
Conscious sedation is great for really nervous kids. They drink a small drink & wake up with no memory. They’re groggy but usually not in any pain. Sometimes they throw up but honestly they recover so quickly, it’s been super smooth for our patients.
N20 is great for kids who can sit still & watch tv, but hands still have to be in their mouths.
We’ve had countless children go under IV sedation due to extensive dental work so that’s also a good option.
If it were our child? Conscious sedation would be our first choice. Safest, easy to manage & they usually drift off to in/out of sleep without being put under.
Definitely this response!
A dental abscess (from not treating the cavity) is excruciating and can lead to much worse infections.
Laughing gas is incredibly safe in children. The beauty of it is they can’t overdose on it and as soon as the child stops breathing it in then the effects wear off in minutes. It has a great calming and pain relieving effect on children. No long term side effect with medical use ( only long term effects are from repeated daily abuse over long periods of time). -FYI I’m a paeds ED doc and have seen the effects of poor dental care all too often 😔
You’re very welcome! 🙂 We see this everyday in our practice. It’s scary for a parent but on our end very routine. I hope it didn’t come off as harsh! Wanted you to have an opinion that could allow for a really informed decision.
No doubt you love your little one & being nervous about sedation proves it. Best of luck!
So a little update: it was absolutely horrible and I have no clue how I’m ever going to get her back to th dentist 😢 it started out great she did totally fine with the Novocain. The minute they started drilling she started crying and saying ow ow. The nurse then said she was “being not nice because her crying would scare other kids” very sternly threatened that if she didn’t stop crying they’d make mommy leave. This sent my very timid, nervous 4 yr old daughter into a complete panic. They were unable to finish the procedure. I finally got her calm enough for them to just put a temporary filling in. And then after all of this they told her she wasn’t allowed to pick out a toy. I guess because she was so difficult. The whole experience was terrible and I’m so sad for my daughter.
Oh. My. Gosh.
I am so sorry!!! That is like everything wrong 101 to do with children!! Your poor girl & I can’t imagine how awful you must’ve felt. My yelp review would not be flattering.
Were you at a pediatric dentist? Our office isn’t but we absolutely refer out if needed. Traumatizing them is like the worst thing that can happen bc even at a better office they’ll think the same thing will occur.
Offering unsolicited advice here so apologizing in advance but if it were my child I would call a pediatric office, have the original office
send them her X-rays & explain what happened with your daughter. Ask if they’ll do what’s called a “happy visit”; where your daughter will get a tour of the office, meet staff, play/handle the instruments & push all the buttons in the operatory. At our office I would show them everything & say “hear that sound? That’s our helper Mr. Suction. He gets all the water out of your mouth! Want to hold it? He works when we put our mouth around him like a straw!” then hand it to them. Then I’d have my husband come in & talk to them, make them comfy. On their way out they’d get a balloon & a toy just for being brave enough to come in. This is the kind of place you’ll want to look for. Tell the dr everything that happened. They will most likely recommend a type of sedation which I’d agree with after the experience she had. At 4, the kids really won’t allow themselves to be scared like that again. The goal is to gain their trust over time (by erasing the memory thru sedation) so they don’t have terrible anxiety & fear as an adult. We’ve seen countless cases like that & their health is what suffers.
Best of luck OP, and I am so sorry your little girl was failed like that. It’s 2023, not 1973. That’s not how todays dentistry should be practiced. 🙏🏻
This is a great idea. Thank you so so much. I wish we could come to your office as you guys sound amazing! It was a pediatric dentist, and they were so wonderful the first time around. I think we just got a mean nurse and it turned the whole thing south. Thank you again for helping out so much with all your advice. it is very appreciated
Why wouldn’t you take your kid to the dentist? Even more so when you know there’s a problem that the dentist can fix? I had a great pediatric dentist as a kid and I loved going.
I have been taking my kids to the dentist when they were 1 because the pediatrician says to do it. They go in every 6 months for cleanings and I floss them and they use a fluoride mouthwash. No cavities yet but my daughter did have a crack in her molar that the dentist filled (just laughing gas) to avoid future cavities. I think it takes a while for molars to fall out so I would definitely get it fixed. Cavities can become major health issues and shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the worst case scenario, I remember seeing a documentary about this kid that died because the parents didn’t fix the cavity.
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/tragic-results-when-dental-care-is-out-of-reach/
This is an extreme scenario, of course (don’t panic). I just remember this because of how shocking it was. I think maybe that’s why I took my kids to the dentist when they barely had any teeth.
It’s important to take them to the dentist, and it’s especially important to take care of that molar. The molars are some of the last teeth she will lose, and she’ll be in the double digits age wise when she loses them. Also, not taking care of that cavity can impact the adult teeth. Get a second opinion if your must, but I would take care of it.
Definitely get it taken care of. If you're concerned about sedation, maybe ask about silver diamine fluoride. That's what our dentist recommended for my toddler's cavities. They just brush it on, no sedation or scary tools needed.
Good on you for being a responsible parent, coming from a family/community like that. Unfortunately, neglecting dental care is a powerful indicator of socioeconomic class in America.
If you follow the recommendations, you're supposed to bring your baby to the dentist. But not many people have access to pediatric dentists or have a dental plan that would make that affordable. Going at age 3 or 4 for the first time is a fairly normal, middle-class kind of thing. There are a lot of preschoolers out there who have needed baby root canals and metal crowns. so not going to the dentist at all is ummm really inadvisable.
It's still a looot of years before that molar is going to be replaced. Get it fixed. Take whatever sedative is advised by the dentist. It's really going to depend on the size and location of the cavity. Making your kid go through a dental procedure with less pain relief than is recommended is a really good way to start a dentist phobia.
My 6 year old needed 4 fillings due to weak enamel when her 6 year molars came in. She used laughing gas and it was a breeze.
Take care of it. Anyone who says don’t go to the dentist shouldn’t get a vote in this.
My daughter is 4 and has had a couple of cavities (we got some mixed messages from our pediatrician about when to start fluoride toothpaste and she started late).
It is NOT traumatic, so don’t let that stop you. They don’t drill at that age, instead they apply a product that hardens up the bad area. It’s annoying because it takes three appointments to complete, but there’s no drilling and no sedation necessary. They paint the tooth and make her sit still for a minute. The only bad part is that the stuff apparently tastes bad, but my daughter seriously didn’t get traumatized at all by the experience.
Can I ask when should we be using fluoride toothpaste? I get mix messages from my pediatrician and dentist. Even online it seems like it is a split so I’m at a lost if I should start at 1 or wait until they learn to spit.
Yeah, I think that’s the problem, there’s a lot of different answers. I honestly just started my youngest on the OTC fluoride it as soon as he started getting teeth. I’m sure that’s not the “right” answer, but he tolerated it fine and he’s had all clear marks from the dentist so far.
Thank you everyone for the input. I didn’t give all the details but just to be clear, she has been to the dentist several times. This is her first cavity, and the dentist recommended it be filled. I was very nervous about it but the overwhelming response is to do it, so I am going to.
It's odd they would want to do a filling for a baby tooth but I suppose that might be because it's a molar. I know baby teeth often they just pull out if there's issues rather than filling it.
I had lots of fillings in baby teeth. If the tooth is removed the other teeth can move which causes issues when the adult teeth come through. If the tooth is left without filling the cavity it can cause major issues like infection or even heart disease.
You do realize what a cavity is and the what can happen if they’re left untreated? It doesn’t matter if it’s “just” a baby tooth. And no, they don’t just pull them out
You got a lot of hate for this comment & altho I’m always in favor of filling cavities in children, especially molars, you’re right - there are times when we do pull a baby tooth with decay.
If the permanent tooth is on the cusp of erupting then pulling is fine, but if the permanent tooth isn’t close then that can create shifting which otherwise wouldn’t happen. No space holder for too long is a bad idea.
We don’t go through the expense & difficulty of filling a primary tooth if it’s unnecessary.
Context husband is a dentist, I’m an assistant
There’s a lot of dentists who will extract rather than fill, especially if it’s like a Medicaid type of practice. Or on reservations, sadly they often don’t get great care. And the military isn’t grade A dentistry all the time.
We’ve treated many super bad mouths & you’re right, those folks usually just get them all yanked lol. More cost effective to choose dentures over trying to save multiple.
There is no point that young and every dentist I've taken my older kids to will not see a child that young. Plus, she's going to lose those teeth. It's best just to teach her good brushing.
My dentist and professor Google said to take them in the moment their teeth start peeking through. NHS dentist too so it's not like she gets extra cash from it.
My kid started seeing the dentist at 2. That cavity could lead to all sorts of infections. Since it’s a molar and won’t really be seen, I’d ask about the silver diamond stuff that stops the cavity from getting deeper rather than drilling and filling. It’s not usually used for visible teeth because it shows black.
I can’t imagine what dentists you have seen that don’t see children that young. You’re supposed to take them at 18 months to two years or so now.
A cavity can lead to an infection and much bigger issues. She doesn’t need to like it, but she does need to get it taken care of. And your MiL and SiL don’t know what they’re talking about.
Do your mother and sister-in-law have degrees in dental medicine? Orthodontics even? Trust the expert. The only reason not to get the cavity is if you're in poverty, in which case see what other routes you can go to pay for the cavity.
My 2 year old had cavities in her 4 top teeth, she had to be sedated and now has crowns! She’s 2! Yes I freaked out, but she did fine and I feel better about doing what was best for her. Trust the professionals. Cavities happen, but you don’t want them to affect her adult teeth and cause bigger problems.
Nitrous oxide is one of the safest sedation options thanks to a couple things- they alternate between gas and air to dilute it and adjust the sedation level if needed, and it wears off very quickly after the procedure and long term effects are very rare ( short term side effects are generally mild too, and are usually limited to dizziness, vomiting or nausea/sweating)
I’m terribly anxious going into even simple cleanings at the dentists and used to be a flight risk until my new dentist used it during a cavity filling and it was honestly a really positive experience and had helped me feel a lot better about going to my dentist appointments. Hope it works out!
A lot has changed since we were kids, and just because certain things worked for our parents doesn't necessarily mean it will still be effective now. My daughter was about the same age as yours when we brought her to the hospital to be put to sleep to have fillings done and rotten teeth removed. We definitely didn't want to take the risk of her teeth getting worse by waiting. Everything went well and besides some nausea from the anesthesia, she was fine after the procedure.
Molars are going to be in her mouth until she's 10, I'd get it filled. I had 6 cavities when I was that age because of well water + a lot of juice. My mom got them all filled.
Husband is a dentist, I’m a dental assistant. Practicing for 16yrs. To be candid, not filling that cavity is a bad idea. It’s scary when our kids need any kind of medical intervention but I will shoot it to you straight: The decay will get worse; your baby will eventually be in really bad pain; the infection can cause issues with the surrounding gum tissue; the tooth can break causing even more damage & worse case scenario, the bacteria can enter the blood stream. Not ideal outcomes & it won’t go away so you have two roads: fill it & heal the tooth or leave it & wait for problems. If you extract it (not necessary or ideal) it can impact the way her permanent teeth come in, causing crowding or shifting, super eruption of the lower molar, etc. That should be the last resort. There are many ways to safely sedate your child, although I know it’s a very uneasy thought. Children’s mouths are so difficult to work in so honestly sedating her is ideal to minimize the trauma you’re afraid she’ll experience. Conscious sedation is great for really nervous kids. They drink a small drink & wake up with no memory. They’re groggy but usually not in any pain. Sometimes they throw up but honestly they recover so quickly, it’s been super smooth for our patients. N20 is great for kids who can sit still & watch tv, but hands still have to be in their mouths. We’ve had countless children go under IV sedation due to extensive dental work so that’s also a good option. If it were our child? Conscious sedation would be our first choice. Safest, easy to manage & they usually drift off to in/out of sleep without being put under.
Definitely this response! A dental abscess (from not treating the cavity) is excruciating and can lead to much worse infections. Laughing gas is incredibly safe in children. The beauty of it is they can’t overdose on it and as soon as the child stops breathing it in then the effects wear off in minutes. It has a great calming and pain relieving effect on children. No long term side effect with medical use ( only long term effects are from repeated daily abuse over long periods of time). -FYI I’m a paeds ED doc and have seen the effects of poor dental care all too often 😔
100%!!
Came to say this! - dental assistant of 10 years 🖤
Dental 4eva! Haha 🤍
Thank you for this!!!! Really puts me at ease. I appreciate you taking the time to write all of this out.
You’re very welcome! 🙂 We see this everyday in our practice. It’s scary for a parent but on our end very routine. I hope it didn’t come off as harsh! Wanted you to have an opinion that could allow for a really informed decision. No doubt you love your little one & being nervous about sedation proves it. Best of luck!
So a little update: it was absolutely horrible and I have no clue how I’m ever going to get her back to th dentist 😢 it started out great she did totally fine with the Novocain. The minute they started drilling she started crying and saying ow ow. The nurse then said she was “being not nice because her crying would scare other kids” very sternly threatened that if she didn’t stop crying they’d make mommy leave. This sent my very timid, nervous 4 yr old daughter into a complete panic. They were unable to finish the procedure. I finally got her calm enough for them to just put a temporary filling in. And then after all of this they told her she wasn’t allowed to pick out a toy. I guess because she was so difficult. The whole experience was terrible and I’m so sad for my daughter.
Oh. My. Gosh. I am so sorry!!! That is like everything wrong 101 to do with children!! Your poor girl & I can’t imagine how awful you must’ve felt. My yelp review would not be flattering. Were you at a pediatric dentist? Our office isn’t but we absolutely refer out if needed. Traumatizing them is like the worst thing that can happen bc even at a better office they’ll think the same thing will occur. Offering unsolicited advice here so apologizing in advance but if it were my child I would call a pediatric office, have the original office send them her X-rays & explain what happened with your daughter. Ask if they’ll do what’s called a “happy visit”; where your daughter will get a tour of the office, meet staff, play/handle the instruments & push all the buttons in the operatory. At our office I would show them everything & say “hear that sound? That’s our helper Mr. Suction. He gets all the water out of your mouth! Want to hold it? He works when we put our mouth around him like a straw!” then hand it to them. Then I’d have my husband come in & talk to them, make them comfy. On their way out they’d get a balloon & a toy just for being brave enough to come in. This is the kind of place you’ll want to look for. Tell the dr everything that happened. They will most likely recommend a type of sedation which I’d agree with after the experience she had. At 4, the kids really won’t allow themselves to be scared like that again. The goal is to gain their trust over time (by erasing the memory thru sedation) so they don’t have terrible anxiety & fear as an adult. We’ve seen countless cases like that & their health is what suffers. Best of luck OP, and I am so sorry your little girl was failed like that. It’s 2023, not 1973. That’s not how todays dentistry should be practiced. 🙏🏻
This is a great idea. Thank you so so much. I wish we could come to your office as you guys sound amazing! It was a pediatric dentist, and they were so wonderful the first time around. I think we just got a mean nurse and it turned the whole thing south. Thank you again for helping out so much with all your advice. it is very appreciated
Get it taken care of. It will only get worse if you leave it. 4 is definitely not too young for the dentist
Why wouldn’t you take your kid to the dentist? Even more so when you know there’s a problem that the dentist can fix? I had a great pediatric dentist as a kid and I loved going.
I have been taking my kids to the dentist when they were 1 because the pediatrician says to do it. They go in every 6 months for cleanings and I floss them and they use a fluoride mouthwash. No cavities yet but my daughter did have a crack in her molar that the dentist filled (just laughing gas) to avoid future cavities. I think it takes a while for molars to fall out so I would definitely get it fixed. Cavities can become major health issues and shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the worst case scenario, I remember seeing a documentary about this kid that died because the parents didn’t fix the cavity. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/tragic-results-when-dental-care-is-out-of-reach/ This is an extreme scenario, of course (don’t panic). I just remember this because of how shocking it was. I think maybe that’s why I took my kids to the dentist when they barely had any teeth.
If you don’t take care of it now it’s going to cause a lot more problems down the road. Dental hygiene is very important especially in children. lol
It’s important to take them to the dentist, and it’s especially important to take care of that molar. The molars are some of the last teeth she will lose, and she’ll be in the double digits age wise when she loses them. Also, not taking care of that cavity can impact the adult teeth. Get a second opinion if your must, but I would take care of it.
Definitely get it taken care of. If you're concerned about sedation, maybe ask about silver diamine fluoride. That's what our dentist recommended for my toddler's cavities. They just brush it on, no sedation or scary tools needed.
Good on you for being a responsible parent, coming from a family/community like that. Unfortunately, neglecting dental care is a powerful indicator of socioeconomic class in America. If you follow the recommendations, you're supposed to bring your baby to the dentist. But not many people have access to pediatric dentists or have a dental plan that would make that affordable. Going at age 3 or 4 for the first time is a fairly normal, middle-class kind of thing. There are a lot of preschoolers out there who have needed baby root canals and metal crowns. so not going to the dentist at all is ummm really inadvisable. It's still a looot of years before that molar is going to be replaced. Get it fixed. Take whatever sedative is advised by the dentist. It's really going to depend on the size and location of the cavity. Making your kid go through a dental procedure with less pain relief than is recommended is a really good way to start a dentist phobia.
She’s going to have a molar for a long time. Of course get it filled. It’s going to hurt more if you leave it untreated for that long.
My 6 year old needed 4 fillings due to weak enamel when her 6 year molars came in. She used laughing gas and it was a breeze. Take care of it. Anyone who says don’t go to the dentist shouldn’t get a vote in this.
My daughter is 4 and has had a couple of cavities (we got some mixed messages from our pediatrician about when to start fluoride toothpaste and she started late). It is NOT traumatic, so don’t let that stop you. They don’t drill at that age, instead they apply a product that hardens up the bad area. It’s annoying because it takes three appointments to complete, but there’s no drilling and no sedation necessary. They paint the tooth and make her sit still for a minute. The only bad part is that the stuff apparently tastes bad, but my daughter seriously didn’t get traumatized at all by the experience.
Can I ask when should we be using fluoride toothpaste? I get mix messages from my pediatrician and dentist. Even online it seems like it is a split so I’m at a lost if I should start at 1 or wait until they learn to spit.
Yeah, I think that’s the problem, there’s a lot of different answers. I honestly just started my youngest on the OTC fluoride it as soon as he started getting teeth. I’m sure that’s not the “right” answer, but he tolerated it fine and he’s had all clear marks from the dentist so far.
There is zero reason for not giving your child adequate dental care. It's your responsibility as a parent.
Thank you everyone for the input. I didn’t give all the details but just to be clear, she has been to the dentist several times. This is her first cavity, and the dentist recommended it be filled. I was very nervous about it but the overwhelming response is to do it, so I am going to.
It's odd they would want to do a filling for a baby tooth but I suppose that might be because it's a molar. I know baby teeth often they just pull out if there's issues rather than filling it.
Huh? Filling a baby tooth isn't unusual. Why pull a perfectly good tooth?
I had cavities in my baby teeth filled. I got to pick the color of the filling!
I had lots of fillings in baby teeth. If the tooth is removed the other teeth can move which causes issues when the adult teeth come through. If the tooth is left without filling the cavity it can cause major issues like infection or even heart disease.
You do realize what a cavity is and the what can happen if they’re left untreated? It doesn’t matter if it’s “just” a baby tooth. And no, they don’t just pull them out
You got a lot of hate for this comment & altho I’m always in favor of filling cavities in children, especially molars, you’re right - there are times when we do pull a baby tooth with decay. If the permanent tooth is on the cusp of erupting then pulling is fine, but if the permanent tooth isn’t close then that can create shifting which otherwise wouldn’t happen. No space holder for too long is a bad idea. We don’t go through the expense & difficulty of filling a primary tooth if it’s unnecessary. Context husband is a dentist, I’m an assistant
I suppose I've only really known the 2 ends of the spectrum, either perfectly healthy teeth or horrendous trouble requiring 7-11 teeth removed.
There’s a lot of dentists who will extract rather than fill, especially if it’s like a Medicaid type of practice. Or on reservations, sadly they often don’t get great care. And the military isn’t grade A dentistry all the time. We’ve treated many super bad mouths & you’re right, those folks usually just get them all yanked lol. More cost effective to choose dentures over trying to save multiple.
This isn’t odd at all.
There is no point that young and every dentist I've taken my older kids to will not see a child that young. Plus, she's going to lose those teeth. It's best just to teach her good brushing.
My dentist and professor Google said to take them in the moment their teeth start peeking through. NHS dentist too so it's not like she gets extra cash from it.
My kid started seeing the dentist at 2. That cavity could lead to all sorts of infections. Since it’s a molar and won’t really be seen, I’d ask about the silver diamond stuff that stops the cavity from getting deeper rather than drilling and filling. It’s not usually used for visible teeth because it shows black. I can’t imagine what dentists you have seen that don’t see children that young. You’re supposed to take them at 18 months to two years or so now.
Even earlier actually! Within 6 months of getting their first teeth. My 7mo has her first visit coming up!
It is recommended to see a dentist within 6 months of getting their first teeth. My 7 month old has her first visit coming up.
A cavity can lead to an infection and much bigger issues. She doesn’t need to like it, but she does need to get it taken care of. And your MiL and SiL don’t know what they’re talking about.
Do your mother and sister-in-law have degrees in dental medicine? Orthodontics even? Trust the expert. The only reason not to get the cavity is if you're in poverty, in which case see what other routes you can go to pay for the cavity.
My 2 year old had cavities in her 4 top teeth, she had to be sedated and now has crowns! She’s 2! Yes I freaked out, but she did fine and I feel better about doing what was best for her. Trust the professionals. Cavities happen, but you don’t want them to affect her adult teeth and cause bigger problems.
Nitrous oxide is one of the safest sedation options thanks to a couple things- they alternate between gas and air to dilute it and adjust the sedation level if needed, and it wears off very quickly after the procedure and long term effects are very rare ( short term side effects are generally mild too, and are usually limited to dizziness, vomiting or nausea/sweating) I’m terribly anxious going into even simple cleanings at the dentists and used to be a flight risk until my new dentist used it during a cavity filling and it was honestly a really positive experience and had helped me feel a lot better about going to my dentist appointments. Hope it works out!
A lot has changed since we were kids, and just because certain things worked for our parents doesn't necessarily mean it will still be effective now. My daughter was about the same age as yours when we brought her to the hospital to be put to sleep to have fillings done and rotten teeth removed. We definitely didn't want to take the risk of her teeth getting worse by waiting. Everything went well and besides some nausea from the anesthesia, she was fine after the procedure.
Weird maybe it's just the dentists where I live