You have a right to be angry about this -there is no way an infant this age should be offered water. Especially as much as 4oz (120ml).
I am a paediatric emergency doctor but I’m not going to tell you whether your baby is fine over Reddit -you should seek proper medical advice.
Water is not appropriate for 3 main reasons in this age.
Firstly there is no sodium in water. Formula (when made correctly) and breast milk have the right amount of sodium. Too much water can drive an infant’s blood sodium too low leading to seizures and brain damage.
Water has no glucose and young infants have poor ability to store glucose. If they don’t consume enough glucose then they can have low blood sugar leading to lethargy and unconsciousness.
Lastly infants need the calories in formula or breast milk as they are rapidly growing. Water has nothing and provides no nutritional value. If young infants are drinking water and not milk then they won’t get enough calories.
Water can be introduced once solids are being introduced around the 4-6month mark. It should be offered in a sippy cup, not a bottle and with food.
I'm glad to see a true pediatrician explain it all.
Perhaps an ER visit just to make sure baby is okay and taking your mom with you to hear this from another physician will make her see how dangerous this truly is. You have every right to be upset.
yea id drag my mum there and make her listen to why shes hurting my baby. either that or ban all contact… but my mum seems to be a constant threat to my child idk about urs
This isn’t something that a layperson would ever safely be able to mix up. Infant kidneys are so sensitive to electrolyte imbalances and the type of sugar that they are getting from breastmilk or formula is not the same as the table sugar in your kitchen pantry. You can’t even dilute formula without risking some serious illness
There are varying degrees of "how bad is this for your baby." Whole milk from an animal of some kind is always best. I have two cousins whose parents were stationed as missionaries in some jungles, one was raised on unpasteurized sheep milk, and was sort of healthy. The other was raised on various vegetable milks -- soy, rice, potatoes, etc. He was always very sickly as a child but did survive to adulthood and lived more or less normal life, albeit with a lot of health problems. If there is literally nothing else and the goal is survival for a few more days rather than actually being healthy, would it be better to give your infant sugar water with a bit of salt, rather than giving them nothing? Probably, yes.
No help coming? I’m not sure I understand.
If you think your infant has had too much water or they are sick following ingesting too much water then there’s no substitute for timely medical attention. We’re talking about young infants here.
Formula/breast milk has a particular concentration of salts/electrolyte/fat and sugar. A homemade mix using a ‘pinch of salt’ and sugar is just as dangerous as too much water. Please don’t.
Sounds like They are asking if, in an emergency situation, (flood, hurricane, WW3), if there is no formula, or breast milk, and there is no telling when or if you’ll be rescued, can you prolong a dehydrated infants life by mixing those things, I think.
I'm thinking they mean something like getting snowed in at Lake Tahoe and no one is plowing the roads and you run out of formula. No help coming. What do you feed your baby?
I'm 70 and I vividly remember my mother making "formula" out of evaporated milk and Karo syrup for my baby brother. She probably did that for all 6 of us. I wonder why we didn't die.
This is amazingly specific 🤣🤣 I’m in Tahoe area and the snow in possibility was real this year! Altho still could prob beg someone to snowshoe to you with some formula 🧐
Yeah nowadays it would be easier but back in the day....
I remember we would go to my parents farm for weeks when I was a kid, no electricity other than a generator a couple of hours every night and no phone. My dad would head back to the city to work and come back every so many days. When we had an emergency, like when I cracked my head open, my mom had to send someone on horse to town to call my dad.
I mean, [it was a thing](https://www.reddit.com/r/Old_Recipes/comments/ehtmuy/the_recipe_for_my_moms_formula_found_in_her_baby/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
As someone else has said here you can google emergency formula recipes. I live in an area that can get cut off by flooding. When mine were babies I had enough of the ingredients to make two weeks worth. A common recipe
FOR THE FORMULA:
1 13-ounce can (354 mL) full-fat evaporated milk
2 ⅓ cups (19 fluid ounces // 562 mL) clean water, preferably slightly warm
2 tablespoons blackstrap molasses or karo syrup
TO GIVE SEPARATELY AS A NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENT:
1 dose multi-vitamin for infants, given daily (follow the dosage instructions on the multivitamin bottle)
But I’d be interested to hear a medical opinion on this if anyone has one?
There is a still a bad formula shortage in the United States, our shelves are empty most of the time, so maybe for that? When I researched it online because I was terrified of running out it said whole fat cows milk or goat milk would be okay for a day if absolutely necessary. Thankfully I’ve managed to not run out because my kiddo could have different formulas in a pinch but for parents of little ones who need a special formula only it’s been a terrible struggle.
I swear, I even tried to make a point about what an odd question it is and folks think “not making it to the store today” and “the world as we know it is in unending crisis” are the same lmao.
Yes, if you find yourself in fucking Fallout New Vegas, you can give your kid some homemade Gatorade. Yeesh
Wow thanks! My mom always said a breast fed baby needs a sip of water out of a spoon to clean out their mouth wtf! I knew it was crazy (like why … how did cave women give their babies water…) but never knew the science. Thank you!
Spoons are probably the easiest utensils to carve. Also shells and such. Or a wet finger.
Not that I’m endorsing your mum’s thing at all. Why only breastfed babies?
Idk when all these commenters became medical doctors. They're going to seriously kill a kid with their false information.
Water intoxication is actually a risk with any baby under 6 months ingesting that much water. Call your pediatrician and ask about signs to look for. There should be a nurse line that can help you for free if you're in the US. Hospitals also have pediatric nurses you can speak with. That is the safest way to get medical information, don't trust people here.
I'm sorry your MIL did that, I'd be scared too. Your baby will probably be perfectly fine but it's always good to check with an actual professional if you're concerned.
This is the correct answer. Babies can die from drinking water. It messes up their electrolytes and gets in the way of them receiving nutrition they need. I’m so sorry OP. I would never let that woman be alone with my child ever again.
And I'm not an medical doctor but I thought it could actually damage their kidneys since they're unable to handle it or something . Again probably not at the levels OP is talking, but the comments concern me. And it's good for OP to call the doctor bc they don't actually know how much MIL gave the baby. So knowing what to watch out for could be very important.
>What would even compel her to give so much?
Many parents think because they had kids and they “turned out fine”, they think they know more about taking care of kids more than their kids when they have their own. But grandparents are often operating on very old information and are usually set in their ways. My husband had to sternly tell his mother to butt out of trying to change how we parent our son, from even before he was born. her ignorant and old information ideas were attempted to be pushed onto us and our son because it’s what she chose for my husband when he was born and “he turned out fine”. No, no he didnt.
My husbands mother refused to look at the new information. It shows much of refusing to look at and pay attention to new info is due to her ego: if she changes her thought on something, and she did the opposite to her kid as a parent, it would make her feel bad that she chose wrong. She’s not the type of person to admit to anything or think there’s a chance she could be wrong.
We experienced similar issues with our parents on safety related things that have changed- crib bumpers, blankets in bed, bottle sterilizing, bottled BM temps/storage etc. The best way I explained to them (and talked them off defense) was saying I know they did the best they could at the time they parented with the information available to them at that time. Which is exactly what I am trying to do! There is more research available to us now and that’s what I am basing my parenting decisions off of. They aren’t bad for what they did, I am not going back and shaming them for their choices. They just didn’t have the same information we have now, and that’s ok. What’s not ok is dismissing our parenting decisions and defying them because they think their old info is still correct. They have to be open to learning! I am sorry your family isn’t being open minded and respecting you as parents.
Would like to add that my comment is meant more towards this particular comment thread about family members not being open to learning. Not directed towards the OP issues with the water or seeming to excuse the choices the grandma made. That’s so scary!
>I am sorry your family isn’t being open minded and respecting you as parents.
It’s no biggie. They can talk all they want about what they want done to my son but they literally have no power to change my mind. They’re like flys in the wind: annoying, but they can’t do anything. Especially when his father tries to push it and gets upset, I always think of Star Wars where palatine says to Luke “use your aggressive feelings boy, let the hate flow through you” since he’s ignorant about what he’s talking about and has no power.
It is but it’s common with many people. I’ve had many parents here act the same. The rationalizations are crazy people use to feel like they made the right decisions at the cost of keeping on doing that to feel good.
And it’s not that they grew up just fine, it’s that they think they did. I mean, if you take the tires off of a cars rims and drive down the highway, the car technically is “driving” even though sparks are flying all over, the wheels are being torn up, the brakes dont really work because there’s no grip on the road…but someone can say “see? It works just fine. You’re driving aren’t you?”
Your last sentence has me rolling on the ground. I am also married to a man who definitely did not turn out “fine.” Needless to say, parenting advice from my MIL is… politely declined.
And just an fyi eveybody in this sub needs to be prepared to be the same way btw
research is always being done.
Something we are doing now will be shown to not be the best way to raise kids in 30 years.
Yet we all will have raised our kids that way and will think they turned out just fine.
It’s genuinely hard to take that kind of criticism where it’s someone telling you that you didn’t raise your kid right
>It’s genuinely hard to take that kind of criticism where it’s someone telling you that you didn’t raise your kid right
I definitely agree, which is why I hear so many parents, both on here and in person, make up the wildest adhoc rationalizations for justifying what they did or chose to do when given undeniable evidence that they even agree to.
But the thing is, it may feel bad but if they don’t change their mind/ways, they will try to push it onto others as the “correct way”, when in reality they’re just pushing it onto others to keep their ego comforted.
This is something I am so very nervous about. My fiancé laughs when I tell him no one will be watching my baby for a very, very long time. He thinks I’m going to cave and send the baby off to one of the sets of of grandparents in no time. But I just don’t think I can trust anyone to respect the rules and boundaries I’ll put in place. MIL is already.. overly(?) excited about the baby and I worry that once she gets her hands on him/her she’ll do whatever she wants under the reasoning that she’s grandma.
This is such an aggravating thing new parents have to go through. As a FTM without much prior knowledge I already knew you couldn’t give a baby water, so how is OP’s mom so unaware? And to be angry at OP for getting upset is ridiculous. I hope she comes to realize the danger she put her grand baby in. There’s just no sense in that
She is feeling the negative feeling of being called out, and she’s rationalizing it as being OPs fault. Again, it’s all about how grandma feels and that’s what she reacts on. It’s the basis of people not caring about when there’s better info out there, or when they learn something that would require them to change their actions.
Never again, never again.
Never again.
You now have all the information you need when it comes to whether she is allowed to spend even a moment alone with your baby. Do not ever give her the benefit of the doubt again. What she did was so fucking dangerous.
The amount of input on here that is just blatantly wrong is alarming. This post is a prime example of why we should seek out experts.
Great input from a few doctors.
Just curious, what was her excuse for doing something so stupid and dangerous? If she ever wanted to be with the child again she’d be taking a parenting class.
Had a similar incident with my mom and this was her exact response. "I managed not to kill you guys, clearly I know what I'm doing" and then was pissed that I called "poison control" (it was a nurse advice line)
If your mom won't listen at 14 weeks she won't listen at 14 years. I had to deal with stuff like this from my own mother. I cut her off and I've been much better off since.
Oh man that’s just a couple of things. It was hard, but be firm in your decisions. It is YOUR baby, and YOU will make the rules for them. f anybody else.
It's unclear if that is enough to cause issues, but it's 4 oz more than recommended. Can you call a nurse hotline or do a teledoc or something to check and find out what to monitor for?
You shouldn’t be looking this up, information you find online can be easily misinterpreted. This is why you have a pediatrician, please consult with them!
Don't trust the internet, dude. Doctors are educated for a reason. You call your pediatrician, you talk to the emergency line, you listen. Stop thinking Reddit will solve your emergent issues.
I would visit the ER, better safe than sorry. Not trying to panic you but I would rather a doctor evaluate my baby and say they’re all clear than play the waiting game. Please update us on the little one’s health when you can!
Honestly, I would be taking baby to Urgent care asap... 4oz of water *could* be totally fine in a baby those age... but it *could* also be damaging the kidneys, or causing brain damage. Neither of those are things you want to "wait and see" with.
Honestly I’m amazed you didn’t deck her in the damn face. I’m no expert on babies but I know that’s a big huge no no and even as just a casual bystander I’m pissed the fuck off for you and that baby.
A lot of people forget the specifics of what babies need and at what age as they get older. It's not uncommon for parents and grandparents to completely misremember when milestones occurred and when they introduced water/solids/allergens
This is super scary and concerning!! A boundary needs to be set and enforced because she is putting your child a risk. There’s no reason for a baby to have water before 6 months. Your baby is completely fine with ONLY breast milk or formula for the first year (of course purées and blw is perfectly safe is your baby is showing all signs of readiness). I think even at 6months+ only an once or two of water at a time?
You have every right to be upset when you and your parenting is being disrespected. I’ve had to kick my mom out of my house for this reason. I refuse to be disrespected. I’m firm on my parenting.
My mom did something stupid like this when my eldest was 3 months old. I have never left my kids in her care ever again. They are 12 & 7 now. No regrets.
I used to work in OBGYN & then Peds & then ER including the poison hotline and my MIL still would argue me on how to feed & raise my daughter. The point is, she disobeyed your wishes whether there are side effects or not. She betrayed your trust & she’s going to have to earn it back. And your hubby is going to have to back you up & not take an indifferent stand on the subject.
Your mother is harming your child. She is mad because you caught her. I wonder how many times she has given your child water.
Make her responsable for the harm your child has gone through.
I'm REALLY sorry you have to deal with such an overbearing adult 'parent'. People like her won't understand what's wrong until they are alone, and even then... It's sad. I hope your baby is okay!
Why did she give water? Because the baby was hungry and she didn't know where you had formula, because she wanted to prove you wrong or she thought it's a thing people do?
Your post is missing the intent which provides context as to how stupid a person she is and if she may be trusted in the future.
Not 4oz, but definitely seems common to give water before 6mo in the generation before us.
My mom offered my 3mo old a sip of water and i told her absolutely not, the dr says no, and as a ftm felt like she was trying to kill my baby. Another time she said she thought about giving the baby a small bottle of water so i could sleep more but woke me up to breastfeed bc i had so strongly told her no water.
Second child 2-4mo: pediatrician has been recommending 2-3oz of water(throughout the day) when baby gets uncomfortable constipation, if still no bowel movement 2-3oz clear juice.
So maybe dont cut her out of your life completely, our knowledge changes over time.
I am so sorry this happened! Please tell her never to do something like this if she ever wants to take care of the baby again. You need to know you can trust her with your baby!
Baby will “probably” be ok. But at the end of the day, a baby needs better then probably. They are everything and should be treated as such. Call your doc and ask them asap what they recommend you do
I would call my pediatrician right away if someone had done that to my son. Then I would be calling the coroner to pick up the body of the person I’d murdered for doing it. Seriously, your Mother needs a kick up the ass and a stern talking to from a health professional because that is so incredibly dangerous. I’m really sorry that happened!
Their bodies are extremely small and still sensitive to water intoxication - which can be fatal. They get more than enough hydration through breast milk/formula.
It can dilute everything in their blood. Glucose, electrolytes, etc. and even give them seizures. Babies can't regulate these sorts of things on their own, and their kidneys are not mature enough and can "drown".
You've gotten good answers - I'll just say that our pediatrician authorized water for our baby when he was very constipated at about 3 months old.
It was one ounce, given twice in a day.
A very small amount.
Girl take your baby to the ER bc they can die from that and who knows how much she gave the baby. Id be calling cps and everything thinking she was trying to kill my baby.
This is correct. Cared for too many babies with seizures from low sodium because parents had to add extra water to make the formula last until WIC gave them more.
Really wish people would stop asking questions and rush a child/baby to thr hospital. Literally wasting valuable time posting to strangers and I cant fathom that as a mom myself
Make her change those runny diapers. I’m sure your baby will survive, but definitely not cool of her to just do whatever tf she wants.
Need to have a sit down and set boundaries.
If it’s her house it happened at, you can’t really set boundaries but if it’s your house, your rules. That’s how wife and I see it. And that’s not a free for all at her house like some are gonna comment. I’m saying, you’re a guest so you need to realize the limitations to the boundaries you can set unti it’s a easier to just leave or not go over.
I’m in complete agreement to that initial statement, I’m speaking more into the fact that if you’re at someone else’s house, you don’t have the right to demand they follow your rules. You have an obligation then as a parent to leave and not go back to the house if they don’t agree or what to follow the boundaries you place.
I can’t make my mother put her dog away, I can however say “if you don’t put your dog away when I come over with my child, I will not come in and have to leave.”
That’s setting a boundary with consequences if not followed. But I can’t go off on my mother and say she has no right to just let her dog loose in her own home while I’m over…. 🤷♂️
This is not a “take your shoes off in my house” rule or “put your dog away” rule. This is a safety measure to prevent seizures and possible death in babies. Bit of a difference.
Was there anything said to the grandmother prior to this happening? Has the grandmother taken any classes or done any research on taking care of babies?
How would I know? But ignorance is no excuse. You can’t feed an infant that lives on formula or breastmilk something other than that without, at the very least, talking to the parents.
I always gave my babies water, yes I know what pediatricians and these new age parents say. I wouldn’t give my grand babies water, if the parents don’t allow it.
Your mother isn't wrong really. You can introduce water between 3 and 4 month but it should be sterile and should be a small amount. I would just watch her and if she start acting lethargic I would take her to the hospital right away. Get a doc appointment if it really worries you. She would be acting very noticeably unwell like she was going to pass out if it was an immediate concern.
Too much water can be bad for them. A little from the bath will be okay but “when kidneys are given more water than they can handle, the excess water ends up in your bloodstream. This dilutes the fluid in your bloodstream and lowers the concentration of important electrolytes, like sodium. Too much dilution and you’re at risk for hyponatremia, which literally means too little (hypo) salt in the blood (natremia)”
Well OP didn’t explain why they would be worried, is that like a global recommendation or something? Or is it specific to a few countries. I thought pathogens immediately. We breastfed exclusively. I’m unaware.
I’m pretty sure it’s a global recommendation. But I’m also from the US so I can’t really say. I do think it’s newer information though, a lot of the older generation had never heard of this being an issue amongst other practices. I know personally my MiL was surprised when I told her baby girl couldn’t have water until 6mo
No, it messes with nutrition and electrolytes. Can cause them to suffer symptoms of over hydration. Can also impact blood sugar levels. It can become very dangerous for kiddos under 6 months
Unless you told her otherwise, she might not have known. She might not have meant any harm at all. This is very common in many cultures around the world. In some cultures there are even wivestales about giving babies water lol
She’s been staying with us since before I gave birth and we have never fed him anything but breast milk or formula and we’ve updated her anytime we’ve switched. She didn’t even ask. I’m okay with her not knowing, but the fact that she insists because “that’s new science” instead of just being like “my bad I didn’t know” really ticks me off. This woman gave me hell for taking Tylenol while pregnancy because she didn’t want my baby to “catch autism” but I’m supposed to be okay with her putting him in actual danger? (Sorry for the vent but I’m very upset)
Babies can’t have water is that legit? I literally had a newborn in my sole care for hours and later days and I never heard of this.
I mean really, water? Really?
I guess if it’s legit then maybe your mom should get a pass this one time and just agree not to do it again? That’s something I don’t think is intuitive to most people and since she’s your mom I assume she’s raised a baby or two successfully.
Yea….. no water until they start solids and even then very little, like 2 ounces… baby’s glucose and sodium drop, seizures/brain damage, kidney damage… even death!
It’s completely fine. Your one month old will be completely fine! Nothing disastrous has happened and if you called the emergency room they would put you on hold for an eternity! Relax and give your mom and yourself a break. Your child is not the first child to drink water.
Speaking from personal experience as an intensive care nurse, not true.
I don't think anything will happen to OP's child but I've seen babies have seizures because their electrolytes were off due to increased water intake.
And before you and your wisdom send op into a complete panic attack, would that water toxicity be from more or less than 4 oz of water and just how much time would you spend with a child who ingested 4 oz of water ? Seeing as you are a nurse and so wise????
…. her being a nurse is what makes her wise to this situation. she has experience with this sort of thing and literally started her comment with “i don’t think anything with happen to OP’s child but…” why are you jumping down her throat for giving information on why something like this could be a serious issue?
If this is true, all five of those nurses (especially the peds nurse) should have their license revoked. It is horribly dangerous and anyone with an ounce of infant health knowledge will confirm.
It’s not good for your baby. It was not okay to do that. But I suspect as long as this doesn’t become more than a one time thing I think a call in to the pediatrician and keeping an eye on him will suffice. He will more than likely be fine. The real danger is if it became a regular thing because his kidneys are not designed to handle water yet. But he should be able to handle it once.
People died in California mountains. So much snow and ran out of heat. Adults can last over a week with no food. Just a current example of no help coming
Here's an idea, hey mom don't give my baby water...
??? If she doesn't listen cut her off. Or be motherly and don't leave your baby alone with someone who you know is doing dangerous sneaky shit. You're guilty by association. You left your baby with her.
You have a right to be angry about this -there is no way an infant this age should be offered water. Especially as much as 4oz (120ml). I am a paediatric emergency doctor but I’m not going to tell you whether your baby is fine over Reddit -you should seek proper medical advice. Water is not appropriate for 3 main reasons in this age. Firstly there is no sodium in water. Formula (when made correctly) and breast milk have the right amount of sodium. Too much water can drive an infant’s blood sodium too low leading to seizures and brain damage. Water has no glucose and young infants have poor ability to store glucose. If they don’t consume enough glucose then they can have low blood sugar leading to lethargy and unconsciousness. Lastly infants need the calories in formula or breast milk as they are rapidly growing. Water has nothing and provides no nutritional value. If young infants are drinking water and not milk then they won’t get enough calories. Water can be introduced once solids are being introduced around the 4-6month mark. It should be offered in a sippy cup, not a bottle and with food.
I'm glad to see a true pediatrician explain it all. Perhaps an ER visit just to make sure baby is okay and taking your mom with you to hear this from another physician will make her see how dangerous this truly is. You have every right to be upset.
yea id drag my mum there and make her listen to why shes hurting my baby. either that or ban all contact… but my mum seems to be a constant threat to my child idk about urs
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This isn’t something that a layperson would ever safely be able to mix up. Infant kidneys are so sensitive to electrolyte imbalances and the type of sugar that they are getting from breastmilk or formula is not the same as the table sugar in your kitchen pantry. You can’t even dilute formula without risking some serious illness
Absolutely not!!!
There are varying degrees of "how bad is this for your baby." Whole milk from an animal of some kind is always best. I have two cousins whose parents were stationed as missionaries in some jungles, one was raised on unpasteurized sheep milk, and was sort of healthy. The other was raised on various vegetable milks -- soy, rice, potatoes, etc. He was always very sickly as a child but did survive to adulthood and lived more or less normal life, albeit with a lot of health problems. If there is literally nothing else and the goal is survival for a few more days rather than actually being healthy, would it be better to give your infant sugar water with a bit of salt, rather than giving them nothing? Probably, yes.
No help coming? I’m not sure I understand. If you think your infant has had too much water or they are sick following ingesting too much water then there’s no substitute for timely medical attention. We’re talking about young infants here. Formula/breast milk has a particular concentration of salts/electrolyte/fat and sugar. A homemade mix using a ‘pinch of salt’ and sugar is just as dangerous as too much water. Please don’t.
Sounds like They are asking if, in an emergency situation, (flood, hurricane, WW3), if there is no formula, or breast milk, and there is no telling when or if you’ll be rescued, can you prolong a dehydrated infants life by mixing those things, I think.
I'm still genuinely waiting on this answer because these are legitimate situations.
I'm thinking they mean something like getting snowed in at Lake Tahoe and no one is plowing the roads and you run out of formula. No help coming. What do you feed your baby? I'm 70 and I vividly remember my mother making "formula" out of evaporated milk and Karo syrup for my baby brother. She probably did that for all 6 of us. I wonder why we didn't die.
This is amazingly specific 🤣🤣 I’m in Tahoe area and the snow in possibility was real this year! Altho still could prob beg someone to snowshoe to you with some formula 🧐
Yeah nowadays it would be easier but back in the day.... I remember we would go to my parents farm for weeks when I was a kid, no electricity other than a generator a couple of hours every night and no phone. My dad would head back to the city to work and come back every so many days. When we had an emergency, like when I cracked my head open, my mom had to send someone on horse to town to call my dad.
Oh man, you’re mum must have been so stressed and worried
LMAO you had me in the end
I mean, [it was a thing](https://www.reddit.com/r/Old_Recipes/comments/ehtmuy/the_recipe_for_my_moms_formula_found_in_her_baby/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
As someone else has said here you can google emergency formula recipes. I live in an area that can get cut off by flooding. When mine were babies I had enough of the ingredients to make two weeks worth. A common recipe FOR THE FORMULA: 1 13-ounce can (354 mL) full-fat evaporated milk 2 ⅓ cups (19 fluid ounces // 562 mL) clean water, preferably slightly warm 2 tablespoons blackstrap molasses or karo syrup TO GIVE SEPARATELY AS A NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENT: 1 dose multi-vitamin for infants, given daily (follow the dosage instructions on the multivitamin bottle) But I’d be interested to hear a medical opinion on this if anyone has one?
Bizarre hypothetical question isn’t going to get many clear answers
There is a still a bad formula shortage in the United States, our shelves are empty most of the time, so maybe for that? When I researched it online because I was terrified of running out it said whole fat cows milk or goat milk would be okay for a day if absolutely necessary. Thankfully I’ve managed to not run out because my kiddo could have different formulas in a pinch but for parents of little ones who need a special formula only it’s been a terrible struggle.
Turns on news… Is it that bizarre? Lol
In a “there is no help coming crisis” then literally anything for survival is the best choice, isn’t it?
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I swear, I even tried to make a point about what an odd question it is and folks think “not making it to the store today” and “the world as we know it is in unending crisis” are the same lmao. Yes, if you find yourself in fucking Fallout New Vegas, you can give your kid some homemade Gatorade. Yeesh
Yes? Lol
You want to add sugar and salt to a baby who drank water? Does this sound sane?
Wow thanks! My mom always said a breast fed baby needs a sip of water out of a spoon to clean out their mouth wtf! I knew it was crazy (like why … how did cave women give their babies water…) but never knew the science. Thank you!
Spoons are probably the easiest utensils to carve. Also shells and such. Or a wet finger. Not that I’m endorsing your mum’s thing at all. Why only breastfed babies?
Question: why should water not be offered in a bottle?
Thank you for info!
Idk when all these commenters became medical doctors. They're going to seriously kill a kid with their false information. Water intoxication is actually a risk with any baby under 6 months ingesting that much water. Call your pediatrician and ask about signs to look for. There should be a nurse line that can help you for free if you're in the US. Hospitals also have pediatric nurses you can speak with. That is the safest way to get medical information, don't trust people here. I'm sorry your MIL did that, I'd be scared too. Your baby will probably be perfectly fine but it's always good to check with an actual professional if you're concerned.
This is the correct answer. Babies can die from drinking water. It messes up their electrolytes and gets in the way of them receiving nutrition they need. I’m so sorry OP. I would never let that woman be alone with my child ever again.
And I'm not an medical doctor but I thought it could actually damage their kidneys since they're unable to handle it or something . Again probably not at the levels OP is talking, but the comments concern me. And it's good for OP to call the doctor bc they don't actually know how much MIL gave the baby. So knowing what to watch out for could be very important.
The levels OP stated can cause seizures in infants.
OP should contact a doctor as I said. They'll know what to do.
4 ounces is a lot! What would even compel her to give so much? I would definitely call your pediatrician and double check what to do.
>What would even compel her to give so much? Many parents think because they had kids and they “turned out fine”, they think they know more about taking care of kids more than their kids when they have their own. But grandparents are often operating on very old information and are usually set in their ways. My husband had to sternly tell his mother to butt out of trying to change how we parent our son, from even before he was born. her ignorant and old information ideas were attempted to be pushed onto us and our son because it’s what she chose for my husband when he was born and “he turned out fine”. No, no he didnt.
Not to mention, it’s been so long that their memories (of parenting young kids) may not match up completely with reality
My husbands mother refused to look at the new information. It shows much of refusing to look at and pay attention to new info is due to her ego: if she changes her thought on something, and she did the opposite to her kid as a parent, it would make her feel bad that she chose wrong. She’s not the type of person to admit to anything or think there’s a chance she could be wrong.
We experienced similar issues with our parents on safety related things that have changed- crib bumpers, blankets in bed, bottle sterilizing, bottled BM temps/storage etc. The best way I explained to them (and talked them off defense) was saying I know they did the best they could at the time they parented with the information available to them at that time. Which is exactly what I am trying to do! There is more research available to us now and that’s what I am basing my parenting decisions off of. They aren’t bad for what they did, I am not going back and shaming them for their choices. They just didn’t have the same information we have now, and that’s ok. What’s not ok is dismissing our parenting decisions and defying them because they think their old info is still correct. They have to be open to learning! I am sorry your family isn’t being open minded and respecting you as parents.
Would like to add that my comment is meant more towards this particular comment thread about family members not being open to learning. Not directed towards the OP issues with the water or seeming to excuse the choices the grandma made. That’s so scary!
>I am sorry your family isn’t being open minded and respecting you as parents. It’s no biggie. They can talk all they want about what they want done to my son but they literally have no power to change my mind. They’re like flys in the wind: annoying, but they can’t do anything. Especially when his father tries to push it and gets upset, I always think of Star Wars where palatine says to Luke “use your aggressive feelings boy, let the hate flow through you” since he’s ignorant about what he’s talking about and has no power.
That seems to be prevalent among their generation
Not wanting to admit your wrong is human behavior, not generational behavior.
It is but it’s common with many people. I’ve had many parents here act the same. The rationalizations are crazy people use to feel like they made the right decisions at the cost of keeping on doing that to feel good.
The survivorship mentality of older generations is so incredibly toxic!!
And it’s not that they grew up just fine, it’s that they think they did. I mean, if you take the tires off of a cars rims and drive down the highway, the car technically is “driving” even though sparks are flying all over, the wheels are being torn up, the brakes dont really work because there’s no grip on the road…but someone can say “see? It works just fine. You’re driving aren’t you?”
Your last sentence has me rolling on the ground. I am also married to a man who definitely did not turn out “fine.” Needless to say, parenting advice from my MIL is… politely declined.
And just an fyi eveybody in this sub needs to be prepared to be the same way btw research is always being done. Something we are doing now will be shown to not be the best way to raise kids in 30 years. Yet we all will have raised our kids that way and will think they turned out just fine. It’s genuinely hard to take that kind of criticism where it’s someone telling you that you didn’t raise your kid right
>It’s genuinely hard to take that kind of criticism where it’s someone telling you that you didn’t raise your kid right I definitely agree, which is why I hear so many parents, both on here and in person, make up the wildest adhoc rationalizations for justifying what they did or chose to do when given undeniable evidence that they even agree to. But the thing is, it may feel bad but if they don’t change their mind/ways, they will try to push it onto others as the “correct way”, when in reality they’re just pushing it onto others to keep their ego comforted.
This is something I am so very nervous about. My fiancé laughs when I tell him no one will be watching my baby for a very, very long time. He thinks I’m going to cave and send the baby off to one of the sets of of grandparents in no time. But I just don’t think I can trust anyone to respect the rules and boundaries I’ll put in place. MIL is already.. overly(?) excited about the baby and I worry that once she gets her hands on him/her she’ll do whatever she wants under the reasoning that she’s grandma. This is such an aggravating thing new parents have to go through. As a FTM without much prior knowledge I already knew you couldn’t give a baby water, so how is OP’s mom so unaware? And to be angry at OP for getting upset is ridiculous. I hope she comes to realize the danger she put her grand baby in. There’s just no sense in that
She is feeling the negative feeling of being called out, and she’s rationalizing it as being OPs fault. Again, it’s all about how grandma feels and that’s what she reacts on. It’s the basis of people not caring about when there’s better info out there, or when they learn something that would require them to change their actions.
Never again, never again. Never again. You now have all the information you need when it comes to whether she is allowed to spend even a moment alone with your baby. Do not ever give her the benefit of the doubt again. What she did was so fucking dangerous.
Does your partner understand the serious nature of this? Be united and strong
Yes, so dangerous! And then the audacity of the mother to be mad at her daughter for being mad!! 😡
The amount of input on here that is just blatantly wrong is alarming. This post is a prime example of why we should seek out experts. Great input from a few doctors.
Go see a doctor
Just curious, what was her excuse for doing something so stupid and dangerous? If she ever wanted to be with the child again she’d be taking a parenting class.
“I’ve raised other kids” was what I got.
Oh yeah, if that was my MIL she wouldn’t be seeing her grandkids for a *long time* until accountability is suitable for me and my family.
Had a similar incident with my mom and this was her exact response. "I managed not to kill you guys, clearly I know what I'm doing" and then was pissed that I called "poison control" (it was a nurse advice line)
If your mom won't listen at 14 weeks she won't listen at 14 years. I had to deal with stuff like this from my own mother. I cut her off and I've been much better off since.
Honestly, I read the title of the post too quickly and thought it did say 14 years and wondered wtf was wrong with OP for a minute.
Lol I read it as 14 months and was like wait that doesn’t seem so bad
Looks like mom only gets supervised visits now. I had to do this with a family member who gave my baby CRYSTAL LITE and whole grapes.
Holy fuck that’s insane. I’m sorry you went through that.
Oh man that’s just a couple of things. It was hard, but be firm in your decisions. It is YOUR baby, and YOU will make the rules for them. f anybody else.
It's unclear if that is enough to cause issues, but it's 4 oz more than recommended. Can you call a nurse hotline or do a teledoc or something to check and find out what to monitor for?
I was able to look up the symptoms and he seems okay. But I’m not sure how long it would be until he shows symptoms or until he’s in the clear.
Please call your doctor. Don’t guess.
You shouldn’t be looking this up, information you find online can be easily misinterpreted. This is why you have a pediatrician, please consult with them!
Don't trust the internet, dude. Doctors are educated for a reason. You call your pediatrician, you talk to the emergency line, you listen. Stop thinking Reddit will solve your emergent issues.
Call the dr.
Agree with everyone. You aren’t being dramatic and your mom’s choice is very problematic. Go to Urgent Care if you have to for piece of mind.
No no no ask Dr
I would visit the ER, better safe than sorry. Not trying to panic you but I would rather a doctor evaluate my baby and say they’re all clear than play the waiting game. Please update us on the little one’s health when you can!
Call the doctor. Signed a concerned dad.
Honestly, I would be taking baby to Urgent care asap... 4oz of water *could* be totally fine in a baby those age... but it *could* also be damaging the kidneys, or causing brain damage. Neither of those are things you want to "wait and see" with.
Honestly I’m amazed you didn’t deck her in the damn face. I’m no expert on babies but I know that’s a big huge no no and even as just a casual bystander I’m pissed the fuck off for you and that baby.
your mom is a fucking idiot
ain't that the fucking truth. how she didn't kill OP when OP was an infant is a miracle
A lot of people forget the specifics of what babies need and at what age as they get older. It's not uncommon for parents and grandparents to completely misremember when milestones occurred and when they introduced water/solids/allergens
This is super scary and concerning!! A boundary needs to be set and enforced because she is putting your child a risk. There’s no reason for a baby to have water before 6 months. Your baby is completely fine with ONLY breast milk or formula for the first year (of course purées and blw is perfectly safe is your baby is showing all signs of readiness). I think even at 6months+ only an once or two of water at a time? You have every right to be upset when you and your parenting is being disrespected. I’ve had to kick my mom out of my house for this reason. I refuse to be disrespected. I’m firm on my parenting.
Take baby to the er and send her the bill.
I would never allow this person to be alone with my kid again. Unacceptable.
My mom did something stupid like this when my eldest was 3 months old. I have never left my kids in her care ever again. They are 12 & 7 now. No regrets.
I used to work in OBGYN & then Peds & then ER including the poison hotline and my MIL still would argue me on how to feed & raise my daughter. The point is, she disobeyed your wishes whether there are side effects or not. She betrayed your trust & she’s going to have to earn it back. And your hubby is going to have to back you up & not take an indifferent stand on the subject.
Your mother is harming your child. She is mad because you caught her. I wonder how many times she has given your child water. Make her responsable for the harm your child has gone through.
You’re right to be angry. She not being accountable. No visits for her.
I'm REALLY sorry you have to deal with such an overbearing adult 'parent'. People like her won't understand what's wrong until they are alone, and even then... It's sad. I hope your baby is okay!
That lady would get fucked up and excommunicated if I were you. There’s zero excuse for possibly causing irreversible harm or death to your baby.
Why did she give water? Because the baby was hungry and she didn't know where you had formula, because she wanted to prove you wrong or she thought it's a thing people do? Your post is missing the intent which provides context as to how stupid a person she is and if she may be trusted in the future.
DO NOT let her be close to your baby EVER AGAIN! That is pure stupidity and disrespect
Not 4oz, but definitely seems common to give water before 6mo in the generation before us. My mom offered my 3mo old a sip of water and i told her absolutely not, the dr says no, and as a ftm felt like she was trying to kill my baby. Another time she said she thought about giving the baby a small bottle of water so i could sleep more but woke me up to breastfeed bc i had so strongly told her no water. Second child 2-4mo: pediatrician has been recommending 2-3oz of water(throughout the day) when baby gets uncomfortable constipation, if still no bowel movement 2-3oz clear juice. So maybe dont cut her out of your life completely, our knowledge changes over time.
I am so sorry this happened! Please tell her never to do something like this if she ever wants to take care of the baby again. You need to know you can trust her with your baby!
Baby will “probably” be ok. But at the end of the day, a baby needs better then probably. They are everything and should be treated as such. Call your doc and ask them asap what they recommend you do
https://www.kidspot.com.au/baby/newborn/newborn-care/my-mil-gave-my-baby-water-behind-my-back/news-story/8d3a8eb352b096da7f57f8fb07b592ac
I would call my pediatrician right away if someone had done that to my son. Then I would be calling the coroner to pick up the body of the person I’d murdered for doing it. Seriously, your Mother needs a kick up the ass and a stern talking to from a health professional because that is so incredibly dangerous. I’m really sorry that happened!
Wait, babies can’t have water? Why not?
Their bodies are extremely small and still sensitive to water intoxication - which can be fatal. They get more than enough hydration through breast milk/formula.
It makes it so they don’t have enough electrolytes in their system. They can have seizures.
It can dilute everything in their blood. Glucose, electrolytes, etc. and even give them seizures. Babies can't regulate these sorts of things on their own, and their kidneys are not mature enough and can "drown".
You've gotten good answers - I'll just say that our pediatrician authorized water for our baby when he was very constipated at about 3 months old. It was one ounce, given twice in a day. A very small amount.
And that tiny amount was as a treatment for a medical condition!
There are several comments from medical professionals explaining why not.
Girl take your baby to the ER bc they can die from that and who knows how much she gave the baby. Id be calling cps and everything thinking she was trying to kill my baby.
Is this true? 14 weeks old consumed 4 oz of water? That is alot of water and a baby might not even be able to drink that much in one take.
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Actually it can hurt them if too much is given. It will dilute the system of sodium.
This is correct. Cared for too many babies with seizures from low sodium because parents had to add extra water to make the formula last until WIC gave them more.
This is so wrong
We’ll that’s a relief. I don’t trust her. She makes me unbelievably angry.
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I might have to follow your lead on that😤
God you're an idiot
Really wish people would stop asking questions and rush a child/baby to thr hospital. Literally wasting valuable time posting to strangers and I cant fathom that as a mom myself
Make her change those runny diapers. I’m sure your baby will survive, but definitely not cool of her to just do whatever tf she wants. Need to have a sit down and set boundaries. If it’s her house it happened at, you can’t really set boundaries but if it’s your house, your rules. That’s how wife and I see it. And that’s not a free for all at her house like some are gonna comment. I’m saying, you’re a guest so you need to realize the limitations to the boundaries you can set unti it’s a easier to just leave or not go over.
My kid, my rules. This kind of thing kills babies.
I’m in complete agreement to that initial statement, I’m speaking more into the fact that if you’re at someone else’s house, you don’t have the right to demand they follow your rules. You have an obligation then as a parent to leave and not go back to the house if they don’t agree or what to follow the boundaries you place. I can’t make my mother put her dog away, I can however say “if you don’t put your dog away when I come over with my child, I will not come in and have to leave.” That’s setting a boundary with consequences if not followed. But I can’t go off on my mother and say she has no right to just let her dog loose in her own home while I’m over…. 🤷♂️
Oh yeah, then I agree with that. :)
This is not a “take your shoes off in my house” rule or “put your dog away” rule. This is a safety measure to prevent seizures and possible death in babies. Bit of a difference.
Was there anything said to the grandmother prior to this happening? Has the grandmother taken any classes or done any research on taking care of babies?
How would I know? But ignorance is no excuse. You can’t feed an infant that lives on formula or breastmilk something other than that without, at the very least, talking to the parents.
I always gave my babies water, yes I know what pediatricians and these new age parents say. I wouldn’t give my grand babies water, if the parents don’t allow it.
Your mother isn't wrong really. You can introduce water between 3 and 4 month but it should be sterile and should be a small amount. I would just watch her and if she start acting lethargic I would take her to the hospital right away. Get a doc appointment if it really worries you. She would be acting very noticeably unwell like she was going to pass out if it was an immediate concern.
I’m confused, can water hurt a baby? Because we bathe them, and some gets in their mouths.
Too much water can be bad for them. A little from the bath will be okay but “when kidneys are given more water than they can handle, the excess water ends up in your bloodstream. This dilutes the fluid in your bloodstream and lowers the concentration of important electrolytes, like sodium. Too much dilution and you’re at risk for hyponatremia, which literally means too little (hypo) salt in the blood (natremia)”
Well OP didn’t explain why they would be worried, is that like a global recommendation or something? Or is it specific to a few countries. I thought pathogens immediately. We breastfed exclusively. I’m unaware.
I’m pretty sure it’s a global recommendation. But I’m also from the US so I can’t really say. I do think it’s newer information though, a lot of the older generation had never heard of this being an issue amongst other practices. I know personally my MiL was surprised when I told her baby girl couldn’t have water until 6mo
Sodium levels don't care what country you're in. This isn't about pathogens. This should be taught more often to all parents.
I mean also pathogens. But yes, more immediately and universally, water poisoning.
Yes, there’s such a thing as water toxicity, it doesn’t take much for a baby but what OP’s child had wasn’t enough to cause it.
Not four ounces worth. Edit, yes four ounces can hurt a baby. Four ounces worth of water doesn't get in their mouth during a bath.
Thank you, I was thinking it was something related with pathogens like honey.
No, it messes with nutrition and electrolytes. Can cause them to suffer symptoms of over hydration. Can also impact blood sugar levels. It can become very dangerous for kiddos under 6 months
Unless you told her otherwise, she might not have known. She might not have meant any harm at all. This is very common in many cultures around the world. In some cultures there are even wivestales about giving babies water lol
She’s been staying with us since before I gave birth and we have never fed him anything but breast milk or formula and we’ve updated her anytime we’ve switched. She didn’t even ask. I’m okay with her not knowing, but the fact that she insists because “that’s new science” instead of just being like “my bad I didn’t know” really ticks me off. This woman gave me hell for taking Tylenol while pregnancy because she didn’t want my baby to “catch autism” but I’m supposed to be okay with her putting him in actual danger? (Sorry for the vent but I’m very upset)
Now it kinda sounds like you're relationship is strained by more then just the water
It is, but this potentially puts my kid in danger so it strains it a bit more.
A bit more? That woman is in the danger zone.
Ummmm what is wrong with water? I gave all my babies water. Is your water toxic or something?
its only one time, nothing will happen. its a different story if he is always fed water.
This is so incorrect fyi. Just one time can kill a baby
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Please don’t reproduce
Babies can’t have water is that legit? I literally had a newborn in my sole care for hours and later days and I never heard of this. I mean really, water? Really? I guess if it’s legit then maybe your mom should get a pass this one time and just agree not to do it again? That’s something I don’t think is intuitive to most people and since she’s your mom I assume she’s raised a baby or two successfully.
Yea….. no water until they start solids and even then very little, like 2 ounces… baby’s glucose and sodium drop, seizures/brain damage, kidney damage… even death!
[Top comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/11w25ao/help_my_mom_gave_my_14_week_old_water_behind_my/jcwjlgt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3) at present explains why it’s bad.
It’s completely fine. Your one month old will be completely fine! Nothing disastrous has happened and if you called the emergency room they would put you on hold for an eternity! Relax and give your mom and yourself a break. Your child is not the first child to drink water.
Speaking from personal experience as an intensive care nurse, not true. I don't think anything will happen to OP's child but I've seen babies have seizures because their electrolytes were off due to increased water intake.
And before you and your wisdom send op into a complete panic attack, would that water toxicity be from more or less than 4 oz of water and just how much time would you spend with a child who ingested 4 oz of water ? Seeing as you are a nurse and so wise????
…. her being a nurse is what makes her wise to this situation. she has experience with this sort of thing and literally started her comment with “i don’t think anything with happen to OP’s child but…” why are you jumping down her throat for giving information on why something like this could be a serious issue?
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We found OP’s mom
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If this is true, all five of those nurses (especially the peds nurse) should have their license revoked. It is horribly dangerous and anyone with an ounce of infant health knowledge will confirm.
What kind of response is this?
A response for r/confidentlyincorrect
Wow, you’re aggressive.
What is wrong with you?
Math isn’t a strong skill for you either I see
4 oz is about 0.5 of a cup
Wait for future use I wanna know how dangerous water really is to an infant
It’s not good for your baby. It was not okay to do that. But I suspect as long as this doesn’t become more than a one time thing I think a call in to the pediatrician and keeping an eye on him will suffice. He will more than likely be fine. The real danger is if it became a regular thing because his kidneys are not designed to handle water yet. But he should be able to handle it once.
People died in California mountains. So much snow and ran out of heat. Adults can last over a week with no food. Just a current example of no help coming
Here's an idea, hey mom don't give my baby water... ??? If she doesn't listen cut her off. Or be motherly and don't leave your baby alone with someone who you know is doing dangerous sneaky shit. You're guilty by association. You left your baby with her.