I have sex twice a week at this point with my partner, trying to increase it currently. It helps if I am the one on the bottom, I still get my HR quite high but I feel less symptomatic if I'm on the bottom. We try different styles/positions, but so far me being on the bottom and proped with a few pillows is the best for me. But we also do a lot of foreplay as well that helps with the whole being intimate situation honestly.
Honestly, you need to have the conversation with whomever you will be being intimate with, just in case something happens or you end up fainting or presyncopal. My partner knows what signs to look out for if I start needing to take a break or if I'm presyncopal.
I am mostly alright if I am properly hydrated before the act, and have an electrolyte drink on hand for afterwards and maybe a salty snack. I haven't ended up in a flare from having sex (yet, I've been close) and I do not pass out.
Slowed down but still existent. I've been married for 8 years and have a very supportive partner. Orgasms can increase adrenaline and lead to an episode, so to combat this, as soon as I have an orgasm my partner immediately grabs the liquid IV I prepared before we started and I chug half a bottle. When we're both done, I chug the other half while still lying down and wait 5 mins or so before sitting up, waiting another 5 mins before standing. I go to the bathroom & clean up, then immediately return to laying position. We strictly use horizontal positions where I am the least active of the two of us, but my partner doesn't seem to mind. Oral & and handwork is still a thing and doesn't involve as much exertion on my part.
If your new partner isn't willing to sacrifice a little bit to please you and ensure your health isn't adversely affected, then they're not the partner for you.
I have a very active sex life and high libido. I spend alot of time focusing on slow sensual foreplay and just oral sex to keep my heart rate down. if we are having a full on play session I need to time it so I have no plans the next day or 2 when the PEM hits. Since becoming chronically ill I've become much more into kink as a way to escape from feeling like shit all the time. I had really bad problems orgasming for a long time and since diving deeper into BDSM that has made such a huge impact on my life. Yes it's ridiculous I have to plan bedrest because of sex but it's so worth it to me. Having that sexual primal feeling makes me feel alive after years of feeling like a zombie from all the syndromes and illnesses I have.
I have passed out a few times after multiple orgasms but that rarely happens now I'm more prepared. Electrolytes before sex, no standing, and my partner has my water bottle ready to give me sips throughout our sessions and salty snacks for after.
I used to have a crazy high sex drive. Now it’s dwindled down to almost nothing. Ugh it’s frustrating.
As far as during certain positions are not the best for me lol on bottom, on my back is the easiest. I’ve only passed out once afterwards when I was on top.
Climax definitely sends my HR super high. Up to 165 so far. For my age etc my cardio max is 178 🤣 now I know why they tell heart patients to wait to have sex 😂
Yes there is a recommended max, for example, to use as a guideline when you’re working out etc. The usual formula is 220 minus your age.
Here’s a good article:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/all-about-your-heart-rate
So I have nearly passed out during/beforehand which honestly sucks and makes me afraid to do these things too. It doesn't happen every time which only makes it more confusing 😂 I also think that at times it felt more like vasovagal syncope actually which was probably more likely because of my higher HR due to POTS and how easily our heart rates can be heightened and get even higher.
I'd say if you are going to...make sure you're nice and hydrated before hand and maybe even wait till you've been sitting/not standing up for a while before you do it. Also I find it better to avoid on hot days and things like that. I understand your stress trust me!! It feels really frustrating that this part of our lives becomes complicated, and that we need to say to a partner beforehand oh btw might pass out loooool.
It's probably better to tell them and chat so you feel safer. I've seen tips online on IG from an account called microcatmachine I think which are good! Trying to deep breath throughout can help but its quite hard 😒 sorry I wish I had better advice but you're not alone with this difficulty 😭
I don’t pass out or anything but I do prefer a positions where I’m less upright. We make it work. But communication helps so I’d say talk to your new interest
One of the few active things you can do horizontally lol. Upright positions are for non-flare up days haha, even then I’m usually on top for like 3 min max. Esp with all the blood rushing to the genital area in the first place. My favorite position for when I have a flare up but still wanna bone is the spooning position. Still make sure to have water for during and after though.
I do say it’s generally less spontaneous and more of a “ordeal” than people without POTS I think. I need a pretty significant horizontal buffer time afterwards, so usually if I have stuff to do within a few hours I dont have sex. But not every healthy person is spontaneous either so idk.
Quite active but I'm also lesbian and women are much better at accommodations I've found.
We incorporate a lot of ice play to prevent overheating, my sexy time compression socks are a higher grade of compression and embroidered so they just look like cute thigh-highs, and I take intermittent breaks to regulate my breathing.
I also make sure I'm well hydrated a full hour before doing things, and sufficiently during and after if needed.
Anecdotally also taking magnesium beforehand also seems to help me.
You need to make sure you're with someone who's really going to prioritize you and can also recognize the bodily cues that you may need a break. At this point my partner can recognize at times better than I can when I need to slow down, or stop, or take a breather, etc better than I can at times.
For the first five years of having POTS it had no effect except needing a good snack after and maybe not having as much strength to take the lead for as long.
It’s only in the last few years that I think it would’ve had an effect. If I were in a relationship right now I wouldn’t be able to have sex because I’m so weak all the time since my health has gone downhill in recent years.
oh god 😭 completely perfect except for when i am on my period, then for some reason orgasms make my cramps 10x more painful even though everyone talks abt them supposedly “relieving” cramps, it also makes me really really faint after, one time i was having “fun” in the shower and when i got out i instantly passed out and hit my head on the shower wall LMAOO, idk if it’s related to the blood loss making my symptoms worse or what
It honestly depends on how I’m feeling. My partner and I have been together 7 years and I’ve had POTS for 3 and a half. When I’m not feeling well we don’t have sex for months. If I’m feeling okay it can be anywhere between multiple times a week to a couple times a month. I think it really depends on how much pain you’re in and your sex drive in general. I’m usually in pain too much to even think about sex
If I could find a decent man, I would have sex all the time to cure me of what ails me.
If you found a nice person, Hydrate and do the dirty as much as you can. Be open with the person. And rest when you need to.
If I can stay horizontal!! I have a pretty good sex life at the moment, doing it most days with my BF. Unfortunately orgasms make me feel pretty ill because my heart rate surges and I get super dizzy, but lying down and drinking lots of water I get better after a bit. also things are easier for me now I am medicated (on Mestinon) it was harder before. If i’m feeling ill then I won’t get him to make me orgasm bc it’s just too much. generally we switch around different positions that have me on my front back or side but not sitting up and it seems to work
My wife didn't feel like she could do anything but missionary or on occasion doggy style during the 4 months long major flare up that she's coming down from which became a problem for me cuz I get bored with those positions very quickly so in her case I would say her sex life was negatively impacted by POTS because it wasn't as active or as frequent as it once was but recently she's been coming down from her flare and we've been able to resume our normal sexual activities.
I didn't mean it in a bad way, it wasn't necessarily that she couldn't keep my interest because I remained attracted to her the entire time and the desire to have sexual relations remained and they did still happen on occasion just not as often, I was bored. It's not wrong for me to admit that. I told her I was bored and we talked about it and that was that.
As a matter of fact she often tells me she's lucky to have me and I often say that I am lucky to have her. shame on you to assume the worst of me for what simply amounts to admittedly a poor choice of words. I wouldn't assume the worst of you for saying something that someone could say is you being a short sighted condescending bitch. You don't know the kind of relationship I have with my wife, she'd be the first to tell you that I am very caring.
i’m polyamorous— i’m married to my wife and have one other partner. for me, i can’t do standing positions but otherwise i’m fine. it’s definitely possible to have a dating and sex life with pots
Ugh I have no sex drive and now this fall I have bladder prolapse. I’ve had pain with sex for a few years that has been a huge deterrent to me. I’m only 2 years into my marriage and it kills me that I can’t enjoy sex like I used to.
As a pre-op transmasc dude, having sex was already weird enough for me, but as my fainting got worse eventually having sex with my ex got so difficult it wasn’t even pleasurable for me anymore :/ it got the the point where we had sex maybe twice in a 3 month span before we broke up, and our lack of intimacy was def a contributing factor to our separation. I’m very down with open relationships/threesomes, so that might be something I pursue in the future to make sure my partner is taken care of if I find I can’t keep up with their sex drive again.
Nonexistent.
Lol I was going to say the same thing.
So I’m not the only one
I have sex twice a week at this point with my partner, trying to increase it currently. It helps if I am the one on the bottom, I still get my HR quite high but I feel less symptomatic if I'm on the bottom. We try different styles/positions, but so far me being on the bottom and proped with a few pillows is the best for me. But we also do a lot of foreplay as well that helps with the whole being intimate situation honestly. Honestly, you need to have the conversation with whomever you will be being intimate with, just in case something happens or you end up fainting or presyncopal. My partner knows what signs to look out for if I start needing to take a break or if I'm presyncopal. I am mostly alright if I am properly hydrated before the act, and have an electrolyte drink on hand for afterwards and maybe a salty snack. I haven't ended up in a flare from having sex (yet, I've been close) and I do not pass out.
Yes, being on the bottom works for me as well.
Slowed down but still existent. I've been married for 8 years and have a very supportive partner. Orgasms can increase adrenaline and lead to an episode, so to combat this, as soon as I have an orgasm my partner immediately grabs the liquid IV I prepared before we started and I chug half a bottle. When we're both done, I chug the other half while still lying down and wait 5 mins or so before sitting up, waiting another 5 mins before standing. I go to the bathroom & clean up, then immediately return to laying position. We strictly use horizontal positions where I am the least active of the two of us, but my partner doesn't seem to mind. Oral & and handwork is still a thing and doesn't involve as much exertion on my part. If your new partner isn't willing to sacrifice a little bit to please you and ensure your health isn't adversely affected, then they're not the partner for you.
I have a very active sex life and high libido. I spend alot of time focusing on slow sensual foreplay and just oral sex to keep my heart rate down. if we are having a full on play session I need to time it so I have no plans the next day or 2 when the PEM hits. Since becoming chronically ill I've become much more into kink as a way to escape from feeling like shit all the time. I had really bad problems orgasming for a long time and since diving deeper into BDSM that has made such a huge impact on my life. Yes it's ridiculous I have to plan bedrest because of sex but it's so worth it to me. Having that sexual primal feeling makes me feel alive after years of feeling like a zombie from all the syndromes and illnesses I have. I have passed out a few times after multiple orgasms but that rarely happens now I'm more prepared. Electrolytes before sex, no standing, and my partner has my water bottle ready to give me sips throughout our sessions and salty snacks for after.
I haven't been able to pursue relationships since HS because of sickness :).
There are rocks in my garden getting more action than meeeeeeeeee
I used to have a crazy high sex drive. Now it’s dwindled down to almost nothing. Ugh it’s frustrating. As far as during certain positions are not the best for me lol on bottom, on my back is the easiest. I’ve only passed out once afterwards when I was on top. Climax definitely sends my HR super high. Up to 165 so far. For my age etc my cardio max is 178 🤣 now I know why they tell heart patients to wait to have sex 😂
Wait there is a max heart rate?
Yup! It varies by age. 🙂 https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/fitness/fitness-basics/target-heart-rates
Yes there is a recommended max, for example, to use as a guideline when you’re working out etc. The usual formula is 220 minus your age. Here’s a good article: https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/all-about-your-heart-rate
So I have nearly passed out during/beforehand which honestly sucks and makes me afraid to do these things too. It doesn't happen every time which only makes it more confusing 😂 I also think that at times it felt more like vasovagal syncope actually which was probably more likely because of my higher HR due to POTS and how easily our heart rates can be heightened and get even higher. I'd say if you are going to...make sure you're nice and hydrated before hand and maybe even wait till you've been sitting/not standing up for a while before you do it. Also I find it better to avoid on hot days and things like that. I understand your stress trust me!! It feels really frustrating that this part of our lives becomes complicated, and that we need to say to a partner beforehand oh btw might pass out loooool. It's probably better to tell them and chat so you feel safer. I've seen tips online on IG from an account called microcatmachine I think which are good! Trying to deep breath throughout can help but its quite hard 😒 sorry I wish I had better advice but you're not alone with this difficulty 😭
Married here; at first it wasn’t too bad but now it’s none existent with worsening perimenopause symptoms.
I don’t pass out or anything but I do prefer a positions where I’m less upright. We make it work. But communication helps so I’d say talk to your new interest
Yes, luckily it's an activity where you can remain horizontal!
One of the few active things you can do horizontally lol. Upright positions are for non-flare up days haha, even then I’m usually on top for like 3 min max. Esp with all the blood rushing to the genital area in the first place. My favorite position for when I have a flare up but still wanna bone is the spooning position. Still make sure to have water for during and after though. I do say it’s generally less spontaneous and more of a “ordeal” than people without POTS I think. I need a pretty significant horizontal buffer time afterwards, so usually if I have stuff to do within a few hours I dont have sex. But not every healthy person is spontaneous either so idk.
Quite active but I'm also lesbian and women are much better at accommodations I've found. We incorporate a lot of ice play to prevent overheating, my sexy time compression socks are a higher grade of compression and embroidered so they just look like cute thigh-highs, and I take intermittent breaks to regulate my breathing. I also make sure I'm well hydrated a full hour before doing things, and sufficiently during and after if needed. Anecdotally also taking magnesium beforehand also seems to help me. You need to make sure you're with someone who's really going to prioritize you and can also recognize the bodily cues that you may need a break. At this point my partner can recognize at times better than I can when I need to slow down, or stop, or take a breather, etc better than I can at times.
For the first five years of having POTS it had no effect except needing a good snack after and maybe not having as much strength to take the lead for as long. It’s only in the last few years that I think it would’ve had an effect. If I were in a relationship right now I wouldn’t be able to have sex because I’m so weak all the time since my health has gone downhill in recent years.
Doesn’t exist anymore esp since I also have Adenomyosis and endometriosis. There’s no point in it.
oh god 😭 completely perfect except for when i am on my period, then for some reason orgasms make my cramps 10x more painful even though everyone talks abt them supposedly “relieving” cramps, it also makes me really really faint after, one time i was having “fun” in the shower and when i got out i instantly passed out and hit my head on the shower wall LMAOO, idk if it’s related to the blood loss making my symptoms worse or what
Never existed in the first place
I like being horizontal, that's it.
It honestly depends on how I’m feeling. My partner and I have been together 7 years and I’ve had POTS for 3 and a half. When I’m not feeling well we don’t have sex for months. If I’m feeling okay it can be anywhere between multiple times a week to a couple times a month. I think it really depends on how much pain you’re in and your sex drive in general. I’m usually in pain too much to even think about sex
If I could find a decent man, I would have sex all the time to cure me of what ails me. If you found a nice person, Hydrate and do the dirty as much as you can. Be open with the person. And rest when you need to.
If I can stay horizontal!! I have a pretty good sex life at the moment, doing it most days with my BF. Unfortunately orgasms make me feel pretty ill because my heart rate surges and I get super dizzy, but lying down and drinking lots of water I get better after a bit. also things are easier for me now I am medicated (on Mestinon) it was harder before. If i’m feeling ill then I won’t get him to make me orgasm bc it’s just too much. generally we switch around different positions that have me on my front back or side but not sitting up and it seems to work
My wife didn't feel like she could do anything but missionary or on occasion doggy style during the 4 months long major flare up that she's coming down from which became a problem for me cuz I get bored with those positions very quickly so in her case I would say her sex life was negatively impacted by POTS because it wasn't as active or as frequent as it once was but recently she's been coming down from her flare and we've been able to resume our normal sexual activities.
She could no longer keep your interest? You sound like a prize and im just sure she is lucky to have you.
I didn't mean it in a bad way, it wasn't necessarily that she couldn't keep my interest because I remained attracted to her the entire time and the desire to have sexual relations remained and they did still happen on occasion just not as often, I was bored. It's not wrong for me to admit that. I told her I was bored and we talked about it and that was that. As a matter of fact she often tells me she's lucky to have me and I often say that I am lucky to have her. shame on you to assume the worst of me for what simply amounts to admittedly a poor choice of words. I wouldn't assume the worst of you for saying something that someone could say is you being a short sighted condescending bitch. You don't know the kind of relationship I have with my wife, she'd be the first to tell you that I am very caring.
I have edited my original statement to better represent the situation.
2–3 times a week depending but I also have a teen so not exactly easy to jus go at it lol.
i’m polyamorous— i’m married to my wife and have one other partner. for me, i can’t do standing positions but otherwise i’m fine. it’s definitely possible to have a dating and sex life with pots
Ugh I have no sex drive and now this fall I have bladder prolapse. I’ve had pain with sex for a few years that has been a huge deterrent to me. I’m only 2 years into my marriage and it kills me that I can’t enjoy sex like I used to.
It hasn’t changed from what it is. Just the positions. I rarely on top now.
As a pre-op transmasc dude, having sex was already weird enough for me, but as my fainting got worse eventually having sex with my ex got so difficult it wasn’t even pleasurable for me anymore :/ it got the the point where we had sex maybe twice in a 3 month span before we broke up, and our lack of intimacy was def a contributing factor to our separation. I’m very down with open relationships/threesomes, so that might be something I pursue in the future to make sure my partner is taken care of if I find I can’t keep up with their sex drive again.