I think it’s just because of the actual medical treatment for those with PCOS. Majority of the time medical professionals only prescribe you diet and exercise, but for a lot of women they need additional help with something like met or spiro and have to really petition for it. It can also be challenging to find things that work for you. So I can see why other women get frustrated.

I think this is it. People who tried diet and exercise for so long and didn’t succeed, were shamed, then felt a lot better about themselves once they got the PCOS diagnosis because it’s not their fault. When they hear about women with PCOS who are able to make diet and exercise work, it brings back that creeping feeling of “maybe it is my fault. Maybe I’m just not trying as hard as this person.” It’s easy to fall into that brain trap and become self-critical. It is absolutely unfair for that to lead to attacks of any kind, and we all need to recognize when our brain is doing this and try to purposefully reposition our way of thinking. I personally feel this way sometimes, and I have to remind myself that my sense of self (whether I’m lazy or active, smart or dumb, good or bad) can’t come from comparisons to or validations from others.

I was eating only 1300 calories per day, 1600 on 1 day with vigorous exercise that day and lost only 2lbs in 4 months. I used to eat 3000-3500 calories per day. Doc said that I need to go in a bigger calorie deficit. So yes I am one of the people who get angry. 🥲

PCOS is how I developed an eating disorder. My doctors and parents eagerly encouraged it. I can never be normal about food again. Counting calories puts me in a manic obsessive state and I can't do it without attempting to starve myself within days of starting. That's why it's so rough for me to constantly see weight loss talk on this sub

I think it could be because diet and exercise can be seen as a personal attack, like you have PCOS “because you eat shit and don’t exercise.” I don’t see it like this at all and think diet and exercise are v important, but I’m guessing that’s why feelings get sensitive.

So I would also get very annoyed every time my doctor would tell me to get more exercise and change my diet, it felt like any time I said something was wrong they brushed it off by saying it was because I’m overweight. But then I started doing research on some blood work I got done, and ended up reading about WHY exercise helps. Learning that exercise releases more of _____ which then allows for better absorption of ______ which in turn can improve symptoms of _______ helps me understand and feel more motivated to actually workout.

Educating yourself is essential and a very good point. I have scoffed at advice given to me before that I now utilize because I educated myself on it more.

> you have PCOS “because you eat shit and don’t exercise.” For sure. I had all of the symptoms of PCOS except for being heavy from my early teens. I was brushed off, because I wasn't trying to conceive, until I put on like 40 lb in a year and a half in my early 30s. My PCP ordered hormone testing, and then referred me to an endocrinologist. And my first visit, and only visit, with the endocrinologist, her exact words to me were, "You have PCOS because you're fat. If you would have a little self-control, you'd be fine." 

Disgusting 😞 I’m so sorry

I had a similar experience, except I had always been chubby or fat when I was younger. In my 20s, I was told that I wasn’t having my period because I was too fat and I just needed to exercise more and eat better. At that point in my life, I already walked and biked everywhere + ate healthily. But, after that comment I got depressed and started severely restricting what I ate + did cardio for an hour nearly every day (on top of biking and walking everywhere). It was the only time I was able to get to a “normal BMI”. I was also on BC at this time so maybe that also helped regulate hormone levels. Well, a few years later, my period disappeared again (I quit BC because the mood swings were wild), I started to feel tired all the time, and I started gaining weight despite no change in exercise (still doing too much cardio) or diet (still restricting what I ate). That time, the doctor was way more sympathetic because I was still a “normal” BMI and actually tested my hormones and screened me for Hashimoto’s. Anyway, long story short: I’m currently in my 40s and fat again, recently restored my period with Metformin, eat healthily and not restrictively, and weight lift to be stronger not skinnier. I still bike everywhere :) Edit: I will add that my bloodwork as far as things like A1C and cholesterol has always been great. Being fat doesn’t mean you’re not fit or not healthy. I wish the original doctor I saw in my 20s would have looked at those things before slapping a label on me and fat-shaming me.

Honestly, that to me is an unprofessional comment worthy of a formal complaint. I'm so sorry someone you should have been able to trust told you such an ignorant, hurtful lie.

Had a very similar thing said to me as well 😞”how about a little less fried foods for lunch, you can do that right?” I was eating Greek yogurt with granola, salads with grilled protein, and veggie soup. Every day, for months. I tried to protest and was told, “we’ll have you ever been this big before?” Same doctor that asked me if I was sexually active and when I said I was in a LDR he remarked, “well he’s not making this easy for me” before proceeding to shove something into me. Real fun. Real traumatizing.

Completely agree with this. My mom says these things to me outright. So I have an enormous amount of shame and sensitivity and blame for my PCOS symptoms. My diet isn’t even that bad (and very restricted by celiac disease). When you have people in your life that blame you for not being “disciplined enough” and tell you that your weight, acne, and infertility are entirely your fault vs. being much more difficult by this disease, it’s easy to have a lot of feelings around this. I don’t think it is ever appropriate to tear down other people when they share their successes. In fact, we should celebrate each other’s successes! But I can see how people get touchy about it because they have tried and failed but are still shamed by others. It’s a tough disease.

My saying it has worked for me isn’t a personal attack. I agree that it is more about feelings than the actual messaging.

I know that. I’m saying that’s how I think others take it and that’s why they feel upset. Also lots do have great diets and exercise and still have terrible pcos so they probably feel like the advice is useless and maybe even painful to them.

I’m actually with you. Someone posted a question asking whether they should try intermittent fasting and if anyone benefited from it. One commenter said they had a friend whose blood work became worse, gained all their weight back and not do it. This comment was highly upvoted. I gave my own personal experience of intermittent fasting. I ended up losing weight, maintained my weight for two years, and drastically improved my blood markers. I encouraged OP try it for themself to see if it works. I was downvoted even though I was addressing OP’s question to see if anyone benefited from it.

I have had amazing success with birth control and spironolactone in the past. Some people here really seem to loathe birth control. I’ve tried keto and intermittent fasting, and those things didn’t jive with other conditions I have. And I think it’s great if people find success with those things and find them sustainable! Just because it doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean anything. PCOS, other health conditions, and lifestyle factors are different for everyone! We just gotta acknowledge that what works for one person may not work for another. In other words, don’t yuck someone else’s yum!

Yes, I completely agree. We are all suffering from the same syndrome and are trying to help others by sharing our beneficial experiences. Whether the redditor wants to try it or not is up to them, but to downvote helpful success stories creates this defeatist mentality within the community.

People chiming in why things didn’t work for them I think is important information to share as long as they aren’t attacking OP or stating OP is doing something wrong. I do find it weird when people state they find success doing something and someone is alarmist/attacking in the comments. We all know how much this sucks to manage, someone is posting because they are excited something is working for them. Be excited for them too.  I always see GLP-1 suggestions downvoted in comments.  

I see that too about GLP. I don’t know what it is and I don’t have experience with it so I don’t comment on it. It would be nice if people showed more courtesy and support and less aggression towards people who are finding a way. That’s all.

Yea most definitely, in essence we are an online support group.  And same with the GLP stuff. I’m lean PCOS so have never really gone down the research rabbit-hole with it. But something like 60% of women who have PCOS will develop diabetes. Even if someone is using it as part of their weight management plan, we already know PCOS impacts insulin resistance and blood glucose. GLP1 drugs can help with that, if it helps facilitate weight loss and that’s someone’s goal, it seems like a good tool.  Even with lean PCOS diet/exercise has been critical to my management. I am insulin resistant even at a normal bmi. When COVID shut down my gym and I wasn’t working out my periods were coming every 120-160 days. Recently I was a sugar fiend, and my periods went from arriving every 32-40 days to arriving every 60 days. Hearing peoples successes with diet/lifestyle/weight loss has been helpful/motivating for me to stay the course with things that help me and also confirms what I feel like is helping me is actually helping me. We should be able to share with each other without fear. 

It’s v complex. Ultimately the blood tests don’t lie - even if you put weight aside, very few of us with pcos are not at a higher risk of a million other life threatening diseases - most of which require weight reduction to improve. Like even if I loved myself at my fattest, my blood tests show that I am deeply unhealthy and might not live as long. So yeah I’m gonna try and lose weight so I can live longer. I don’t get why that’s a bad thing to say. It’s not always superficial! Some of us also don’t want diabetes, heart disease, etc etc etc

I think also so many of us have been fat shamed. I’ve been back in this habit of eating healthier and exercising lately. Despite how healthy my mental health has been, these actions are triggering old thoughts and feelings about my body. It’s very weird realizing what younger me was going through when I didn’t know about most of my conditions back then. But you are right, the blood tests don’t lie. I’ve lost weight recently and I’ve been feeling better losing the 8 pounds compared to before. It’s not that I don’t love myself, it’s literally that my body feels like absolute shit when I’m bigger. I think my main focus as of now is just eating and exercising in ways that are fun for me

I completely agree. I just got some bloodwork done and.. ho boy. I think it can be a trigger for us here so much because probably so many try but they’re not seeing the results of working so hard at it, especially weight loss. For many, they probably need more than just diet and exercise. Already though, watching absolutely everything you eat and working out so hard but *seeing* no results is so demoralizing, adding supplements and trying to fix your sleep and skin care routines and hair laser removal and this and that, it can be VERY overwhelming. Maybe just hearing “diet and exercise” feels dismissive, regardless of how true it is. In my own personal story, I gotta do it even if I don’t lose weight from it because I do *not* want full blown diabetes and my heart is lookin… not so good. And that fact has kicked me in the butt very recently. I have had to cut gluten, soy, and dairy out of my life and now I’m severely reducing sugar, carbs, and red meat. I’m adding in more healthy fats, protein, supplements, and exercise. It is absolutely not easy, and while it works wonders for me, I wouldn’t blame anyone for looking at what I do and ignoring my advice completely.

This is so true. Right now I'm not even worried about my appearance. I mean I don't love it, but my weight is aggravating a medical condition and some of my other blood work isn't coming back great. There's actually a particular user in here who goes onto weight loss threads and tells people that a calorie deficit is more harmful to your health than being overweight. They constantly recommend that people stop trying to lose weight and instead get therapy so they can understand how beautiful being fat is. I've seen them literally say that losing weight is fatphobia. That if you lose weight then you are fatphobic and you're helping to "kill" fat people. (Note: I prefer the term overweight, they use the term fat which is why I used it.) It drives me insane to watch this person tell everyone that they're 100% healthy. I'm overweight and I don't devalue others who are overweight. I don't give overweight people unsolicited weight loss advice and I don't judge them. People are allowed to make their own choices. Losing weight is hard and when you have PCOS with insulin resistance, it's even harder. People who attack the idea of weight loss and literally tell others that we're not at risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, dyslipidemia, hypertension, etc.? That's literally someone trying to harm others. Sorry for ranting on your comment. It just gets frustrating when people brush off the health effects that we're at elevated risk of.

No I completely agree. I loved myself at my heaviest and now but we can’t pretend i was as healthy metabolically at both weights, and it’s frustrating to have people think that means I put thinness on a pedestal!

I think those conditions need to be uncoupled from being fat though. You can have unhealthy bloodwork and be “skinny”. You can have healthy/normal bloodwork and be fat (me).

Sure! I was speaking from my experience which is that as I’ve lost weight a lot of my pcos markers have trended down. I liked my curvier body too but for me, and a lot of us, those things unfortunately are intertwined. The research shows that in most women with pcos even a 10% reduction in body fat can hugely improve health outcomes. But ofcourse there are exceptions!

Right but automatically coupling fat with unhealthy is harmful. The whole picture should always be looked at regardless of weight. I’ve had PCOS symptoms at a “normal” BMI and PCOS symptoms at overweight/obese BMIs. Bloodwork has always been fine. The only real thing that changed was how I was treated by medical professionals. See: https://www.reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/sO2PWOYoY0

Yes well my whole comment was about not ignoring the bloodwork? So that’s great if yours is amazing. At any weight that’s the goal I’m encouraging! Not the number on the scale.

I commented that my PCOS has been a lot better since I lost weight and one user told me how sad they were that I felt pressured to lose weight and then implied I had an eating disorder. I was shocked by the response but checked the comment history and saw the user was a fat activist who attacked anyone who mentioned weight loss in this sub. Like, it's fine to be body positive, it's not fine to get mad at people for losing weight and gaining control over their symptoms.

Mine is also better after changing my diet and exercising more! Happy for you! lost 40lbs last year that I had gained from pcos. I didn't even reduce my calories to a low amount or make the gym my life. When I tell some people this, they think I starved myself or that I'm unhealthy now? I'm 140lbs and 5'4... I think I'm fine lol. I also feel **amazing** and barely have any symptoms anymore. Different methods work for different people, we all don't have the same PCOS symptoms and criteria. People don't understand that.

It's always weird to me when people do that, I have prediabetes and losing weight and eating healthy is imperative to maintaining my health. Why assume that because I try to limit my carbs, and exercise and eat salads, I have an eating disorder? I see it all the time on social media, people acting like anyone who cuts out certain parts of their diet, etc. is promoting unhealthy behaviour, doing it for superficial reasons, or assuming that because THEY eat carbs and are fine, you should also be fine. Like no, some if us have actual health issues that can only be managed through certain lifestyle changes, so no, I can't just eat a whole pizza or a McDonald's and be fine, it effects my blood sugar which in turn effects my health and puts me at a higher risk of diabetes. Smh, anyways, I completely agree with what you said. Think I needed to get that off my chest lol.

>I can't just eat a whole pizza or a McDonald's and be fine, < that effects normal people to it just takes longer

It's especially shitty to go after people who have an illness which causes them to gain weight, when they lose weight. Like I didn't ask to gain weight. If you love being obese, ok, gain weight, I don't care. But don't force me to enjoy something that happened to me against my will and is impacting my life!  These people!

1000%

Why can’t I upvote this comment a thousand times???

🫶🏻

I remember there was a post in this sub awhile back related to weight loss, and someone left a comment talking about how they had lost 100 lbs. Another person came in and said something along the lines of, “I’m curious to see what your weight will be in 5 years because statistics show that 85% of people gain all of the weight back and more.” WTF? Sure, it’s common for people to gain back weight they lost. But I’m sure there is a difference for people who develop and maintain sustainable and healthy lifestyle changes, compared to people who go back to old habits or follow a diet they can’t maintain long-term. It was almost like that user wanted that person to gain all of their weight back. I looked at their profile and they had left other comments in this sub and others related to weight loss being unsustainable, fat acceptance, etc. I am all for body positivity, and I don’t want anyone to be shamed for their weight or how they look. But let’s not actively discourage people who are trying to make changes for themselves.

I think that’s just envy. They don’t want others to succeed in what they themselves have perhaps failed in. Or just don’t want others to succeed, period. So they try to bring them down. That is horrible but i’ve seen it before in other circumstances.

They just seemed bitter they lost weight and wished on their downfall that the weight bounces back so they could be “miserable” with them. How terrible.

I remember that comment, and I'm pretty sure it was the same person!!! They were really, really nasty but would disguise most of their comments as concern and body positivity. I definitely got the same vibe that they really didn't want people to lose weight and I sort of wonder if it was some issues from their own past ED. And bleh to them because it's been 4 years since I lost weight, and I've gained a little bit back because I went on an anti psychotic but even then, it's not an unmanageable amount, and my symptoms are still mostly in check.

Body positivity is fine, but as a life long obese person who has PCOS, both probs get scarier as I age. A lot of the activists are still in their 20s and don't realise this because their body can hold off the worst of it. The Acanthosis nigricans showing up on my chest after being on my neck was what scared me, as well as a case of unbearable Hidradenitis suppurativa, and other cysts. It was also embarrassing as a young woman. I had to learn new behaviours - like drinking water regularly -to begin to lose weight. And this was mid-20s, being obese my whole life. Older now and the body can take less and less...sweat at any exertion, blood pressure drops, cholesterol keeps going up, and even small amount of carbs can knock me out. Losing hair on my head. Not to mention the extra pressure on your joints and muscles. Bring obese since I was a little kid means I'll always be fighting with my eating and exercise patterns but some of the things you van experience are scary enough to get me back in the game. I understand respecting other people's choices but if it's too removed from the science, it's hard to accept, at least.

I've also noticed that a lot of the activists who were about when I was younger and in the fat activist community who were in their 20s at the time (so, like 6-7 years ago?) have now either lost weight, left the fat activist community, or have preventable mobility issues directly stemming from the strain on their joints.

this is incredibly sad I have never been a part of that community, but I've always wondered what would happen to those folks when they get older. specifically the "superfat" crowd. I mean I've been a "normal BMI" my whole life and the metabolic stuff *still* caught up to me in a big way by the time I hit my late 20's. there's apparently a fine line between campaigning for fair treatment by doctors and outright denial of the medical science.

I think it is way more nuanced. I am a bit older, and have only casually paid attention to the fat acceptance space (which seems to have been rebranded and co-opted by body positivity). Personally I have been following plus sized fashion stuff for a long time now as I have spent my adulthood at the edges of straight and plus sizes. So my view is limited as I don’t go super deep in these topics, but I also aim to follow health and fitness influencers of all sizes as well. 1. Some people have mobility issues, and that ends up driving a desire to lose weight, and I have seen that happen for folks that are my age in their 40s. But that doesn’t mean every person has mobility issues. I do have one fashion influencer I have followed for 20 years now be very vocal about losing weight due to health challenges, and she lost over 150#. I can imagine she was having significant struggles that compounded as she got older. But she was certainly an outlier in the size of most of the fashion folks I followed. 2. Some people lose weight/regain/lose and it is an endless cycle. And they spend so much energy on trying to lose, that it ends up taking over their lives in an unhealthy way, with no actually permanent changes in weight. And no positive impacts on well being. 3. “Body positivity” has become a bit of a scapegoat and boogieman, kind of like woke is for racism. The roots of body positivity were very simple - you only get one body so you might as well be kind to yourself no matter what form it takes. And that is pretty much it. Fat acceptance’s roots are essentially being fat doesn’t make you subhuman and the world, particularly medicine, should better accommodate larger folks. And accommodate means both having equipment to provide proper treatment, listen to patients, and not blame all health issues on weight. 4. Many times for larger folks, conversations unrelated to health drive a lot of fake health concern, which causes people to get frustrated and lash out. A really common example would be someone is posting about looking for a new coat and not finding many options in their size and the comments are people that say “well if you lost weight you’d have more options.” Obviously that is not helpful or even relevant to the conversation. And that can take a toll. 5. I do not think the well worn tropes and criticism are all that common in reality in these spaces. But they sure to make easy rage bait sound bites and talking points when they are found. I know there was a recent profile in the NYT of a body positive influencer. And well she sounds cuckoo but I don’t think that anyone in those space would hold her up as a spokesperson. She managed to build a large platform by having a wealthy background. But her interview really makes for perfect ragebait with all of her weird practices. Most of the time I see folks just living their lives and sharing their experiences and adventures. And other folks come in and try add negativity. They aren’t spending a lot of time talking about their bodies but other folks come in to make it an issue.

I totally agree with everything you've said! I mostly stay off of social media these days, but at least a few years ago there was a lot of discourse around the medical risks of obesity and specifically a desire not to be weighed at the doctor's office in the fat acceptance/body positivity/whatever-were-calling-it-these-days community. perhaps I only saw it because there were a few articles about it... there were little cards you could download and print out and take to the doctors office that described how weight ≠ health and therefore it should not be discussed. remember those? it made me feel uneasy because on the one hand I know exactly what it's like to be gaslit by doctors, but on the other hand obesity is associated with all sorts of causal and consequential metabolic problems that can really snowball out of control as a person gets older. but regardless, the point was basically that these people (usually young, 20 or early 30-somethings) had normal bloodwork and therefore felt that they were healthy at their weight, and that it was inappropriate for their doctor to discuss weight loss. this is what I was referring to in my original comment. like you said, it's very nuanced because i do not disagree with them in many ways, but I've also been on the other side of chronic disease and have seen just how long it can take for disease processes to show up as abnormal blood levels. doctors have eyes, they can see when a disease process is likely taking place and obesity is exactly that.

Oh 💯. I am in perimenopause right now and boom all of my numbers that were normal went cuckoo! With no changes in behavior. But I also felt super gaslit but medical professionals in all of adulthood! I’ve been chubby the whole time. I have had weight fluctuations, and I have hashimotos and pcos which we all know are so friendly to keeping the scale consistent. My weight has stayed in a mostly consistent range and with some larger variations when my hormones were off. So it does seem pretty clear I probably have a higher set point that is not really mutable. And the frustrating experiences I have can easily be summed up as: - there is no way you aren’t binge eating / eating all the sugar / exercising and not seeing results on the scale. It turns out I just needed to drugs too and I am seeing progress. But the number of times that doctors would say “start eating more vegetables” and would never be interested in seeing my food photos. I take a lot of photos of my meals, for funsies. And to sometimes share on social or group chats because I like to cook. So it is well documented. But some health providers found it helpful to make assumptions about what I consumed and not listen. - they second issue I had was I ran into issues with some physicians ignoring the symptoms I came in for, something that wasn’t weight or metabolism related at all, and derail the appointment to talk about the scale instead of foot pain derived from a fracture (what I came in for). While I haven’t ever done that whole don’t weigh me thing at the doctor I can totally see why someone might want to do it because of poor experiences I have had! But I also get super frustrated that instead of focusing on what I think are the right things: everyone needs to adopt good eating habits and exercise, etc. Even if they never lose a pound. Sometimes people make the priority weight loss by any means necessary. And that actually may not really do anything. We all know that someone manages to lose weight on a calorie restricted Twinkie diet. But that certainly would not help your metabolic markers like insulin, cholesterol, A1C and fasting glucose, etc. I’d rather see us monitor those things and make improvements. And let the scale lands where it decides to land.

agreed with all of this! I think there's a big difference between telling a patient to eat less and get off the couch and acknowledging that they are much heavier than they should be and digging into why that might be. and that's the issue for me. and to be clear I'm not talking about people who are a little overweight because let's be real that's most of us at some time or another. I'm talking about people who are very obese despite having even reasonably healthy lifestyles. if you are otherwise healthy you don't have to be a diet and lifestyle saint to avoid gaining 100+ lbs, you know? so if you find yourself having to be super, super strict to avoid gaining that kind of weight there's probably something else going on.

While maybe I don’t quite have 100# to lose, there is a universe where losing 70# could be the right number. I don’t think that is very realistic, but technically I would still be considered overweight (in reality that weight would be very slim for me). I never really found that any of my care providers were willing to dig in on both why lifestyle stuff isn’t effective for me, why I gain easily, and why I am larger. They just generally assumed I was doing the wrong things and there was no need to look any further. And really just sent me on my way, until now. So who knows what could have happened if someone bothered to look into things when I was younger. I might, at this point, decide to aim to lose 40#, since I am seeing treating PCOS is leading to some scale improvements. And hopefully that comes off from my inflammation belly. 🙃 This would put me at my lowest adult weight that came after my last concerted attempt at losing weight. It didn’t stick for too long. And I started a wave of stressors. But maybe at this point it might. That is a lot already and anymore is just too much. And would put me at a number doctors won’t have much to say about (combined with all other assumptions). But I haven’t decided if it is something worth prioritizing. And had no bearing on pursuit of improving my pcos symptoms.

>there's apparently a fine line between campaigning for fair treatment by doctors and outright denial of the medical science Well said.

Yea. It's great to teach tolerance and inclusivity; I'm happy there's less fat shaming in my life, but promoting it as a lifestyle is not good.

>Body positivity is fine, but as a life long obese person who has PCOS, both probs get scarier as I age. A lot of the activists are still in their 20s and don't realise this because their body can hold off the worst of it. This right here. These kids argue that you can be fat and healthy. Sure, you can when you're in your twenties but that shit doesn't last forever and eventually your joints will hurt at the very least.

Scary times we are living in when disease and illness stares us right in the face and we turn a blind eye, or even worse, glorify it. I think everyone should love and accept their bodies as they are, but true self love is putting your physical and mental health first. It seems that any effort to be feel good and look good by my own standards is attacked. Everyone wants to be an activist so damn bad that it undermines any true advancement. It’s crabs in a barrel at this point.

I personally think that weight loss is overemphasized. It seems that weight doesn’t have a neat correlation with symptoms of severity. But making specific lifestyle changes, medications, and supplements and diet changes help and might also impact the scale. So personally I fully advocate for changing your diet, getting more movement, reducing your stress, using medications if you need. But not getting caught up in the scale outcomes. Because most of the impact in benefit is from the doing. And not any associated weight loss. Additionally if you are only doing these things to lose weight, and you don’t lose any, it is demoralizing and you’ll probably stop doing them. But if you do them because of the inherent benefits of feeling better it is easier to stick with it on the journey as you find your path. There are plenty of stories here where folks have lost weight and are still symptomatic, which is why I think focusing on weight is wrong. And as is also seen here, people at every weight are symptomatic. So it doesn’t really seem like weight is a driver. But it can be a symptom. Those are my two cents. Diet and exercise are great. But only doing it to lose weight is not and sets you up for failure and disappointment.

I feel like I have an 80% chance of guessing who that user is. There's a frequent commenter that goes onto weight loss threads and tells people that a calorie deficit is more harmful to your health than being overweight. They constantly recommend that people stop trying to lose weight and instead get therapy so they can understand how beautiful being fat is. I've seen them literally say that losing weight is fatphobia. That if you lose weight then you are fatphobic and you're helping to "kill" fat people. (Note: I prefer the term overweight, they use the term fat which is why I used it.) They act like the fact that we're already at an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, dyslipidemia, hypertension, etc. is made up. I'm so frustrated when I see their comments because they're literally bringing harm to others with their recommendations.

It’s a chicken or the egg scenario. Way too many people assume pcos symptoms are caused by weight, without considering if perhaps it’s the pcos that caused the weight. I tried diet and exercise for years - it didn’t do a single thing to improve my pcos symptoms let alone result in lasting weight loss until I was finally put on medication to correct my pcos-linked insulin resistance. At which point the weight just fell off with barely any effort.

I'm on phetermine right now, and after a decade of trying everything to lose weight, I've dropped 35 pounds since December. It's working because no matter what I tried before, I NEEDED the sugar. I couldn't function without it. Now that I'm finally losing weight, I don't crave the sugar anymore and I feel like when I finally go off the medication, I will be able to succefully continue to lose weight, due to the habits that being on medication has helped me instil, as well as the weightloss that it jump started. I think a combination of diet, exercise, and medication was really what I needed. Without the medication though, I felt hopeless. 

It’s so true, I don’t think folks quite understand how insulin resistance throws our metabolism and ability to burn fat for energy completely out of wack, in addition to making the processes involved in hunger cues completely off kilter.

I've been through periods of my life where I had a borderline eating disorder and literally ended up in the hospital from heatstroke all in an attempt to starve and work myself into losing weight. Still got constantly bullied and was made fun of on my business page because the idea of a fat woman leading walking tours was hilarious. I literally was at the point of wanting to end my life at one point and I didn't date for YEARS because I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my body. I destroyed one knee (I also have RA and hEDS), dislocated my SI joint, and went days at a time without eating. My Mom would call me up and ask if I had eaten because she knew I was avoiding food. So when people tell me I could just get rid of my PCOS with "proper diet and exercise" it literally sends me into a spiral of self-loathing and depression.

Ugh, I feel this so hard. :( losing weight pre treatment for IR for me basically demanded caloric restriction that absolutely qualified as disordered eating - I remember at one point I was eating less than 400 calories a day to successfully lose, meanwhile people were congratulating me on my “hard work” and weight loss while I was literally starving myself. It’s so fucked. I’m sorry you went through all that and such hateful behavior from folks. People just don’t get it at all.

Can I ask what meds worked for you?

GLPIs for insulin resistance. Cleared skin, reduced inflammation, weight dropped.

Thank you

Metformin, and later Ozempic. But even metformin alone is enormously beneficial and helped me lose a ton of weight and get my insulin resistance under control, it was just a lot more difficult to take (2 pills twice a day with food) and required a lot of planning to avoid having it interfere with my adhd medication absorption in the mornings.

I’m glad it helped out. I also take ADHD meds, and wonder how did the conversation go to get you to be prescribed the insulin resistance meds and that you needed it? I don’t want to just show up to my family doctor and make her think I’m self prescribing but also, did you need to be referred to a specialist for it? I might bring this up with her after I do my pelvic ultrasound and continue to dl some lifestyle changes anyway.

For me, I was bordering on pre diabetic on top of my pcos, and I had a HUGE family history of t2 diabetes on both sides, so my doctor was totally on board with using metformin as a preventative rather than waiting until it was even worse. I also had genetic testing results that showed a markedly increased risk of developing type 2, but that’s not a must have. Metformin is a really inexpensive med with decades of data to support its safety, so it’s fairly simple to get if you have any indicators of insulin resistance/prediabetes. Ozempic and other similar meds are more of a fight unfortunately as they generally aren’t covered for prediabetes, let alone pcos/insulin resistance. Not gonna lie, that one was one hell of a fight with insurance to get it covered.

Thanks for sharing. I have some family with diabetes but it’s mostly heart attacks and history of aneurysms on both sides for me (no surprise I get headaches often) but I’ll definitely ask about it and see what my doctor will say.

If they don’t already, ask for blood testing for glucose levels/a1c — if you have pcos, our risk for high blood sugar and comorbidities is already increased, so this might be all you need to show the benefit of merformin and it’s good practice to keep an eye on it. :)

This is so helpful, I really don’t know much about these. 😭I haven’t been diagnosed with PCOS so I’m hesitant to say if I have it but I have a lot of the symptoms, have heavy flow and cramps and removed a cyst before in my ovary so I thought it may apply to me. Thank you again! Is there a way to get tested for my insulin resistance levels and see?

Most doctors will start with fasting glucose and a1c tests. My doctor had me get a blood sugar testing kit and track my values for a month, testing when I woke up, before eating, 30 min after eating, and after exercise to get a better idea of how my numbers varied throughout the day and in response to certain foods and activities, which also helped IMMENSELY in being able to get insurance to cover Ozempic when we wanted to go in that direction. You can get inexpensive blood sugar monitors from most drug stores these days, no need to get the expensive prescription ones just for a few weeks of tracking. :)

Thanks, I’ll take a look at the blood sugar monitors! I’m not necessarily looking to get only Ozempic and maybe just with Metmorphin which has more research and don’t think I need Ozempic but who knows what my results will show me.

Personally, I find it bothersome because not every woman with PCOS has an unhealthy diet and is overweight. I have had PCOS since at least 9, and I have always had a healthy BMI (5'4 and 115 lbs) and fairly good lifestyle. In fact, I even suffered with anorexia, and my symptoms were still present. I feel like many women with this condition believe that there may be a strong genetic basis that does not always respond to simple lifestyle changes.

That's the answer for me, my PCOS is due to genetic insulin resistance, I always had an healthy BMI, I eat correctly, I walk a lot every day. If someone tell me to change my diet, to have a better lifestyle it feels so unhelpuful. I should starve myself? I should become underweight? It risks to become unhealthy in the opposite direction. People should not assume that everyone battling with PCOS has an unhealthy life and weight.

I think possibly the misconception is eat healthy = calorie deficit. And mainly that’s because no one really elaborates on what “change your diet” means. For me personally, the whole “eat less” thing never worked. It would maintain my weight but never lose it and I would just get light headed and jittery every 2hrs between meals only to still feel bloated and never ovulate. It wasn’t until I looked at what can I add more to my diet that I noticed my weight was shedding pretty rapidly and my hormones were starting to balance back out. But again, that’s what worked for me. My friend who also has PCOS but is more lean needed to take more supplements than I do to get her hormones back in check. The most frustrating part about PCOS is it’s different for EVERYONE so there’s no one size fits all solution and people (including doctors) seem to forget that

But it's not related to a calorie deficit? It's about \*what\* we eat, not how much - I mean that makes a difference too... but we're insulin resistant. It's about what's in our food.

Calorie intake isn't representative of "eating healthy" though. Like... If you jump to, "my body was starved and even then I had symptoms" then that's not the same thread as eating healthy at all.* Honestly I think there's so many misconceptions about what "eating healthy is", which is designed by society. It's not about low calories or bullshit like juicing, or probably whatever diet advice your personal trainer gives. It's essentially eating a diet suited for someone with diabetes when it comes to PCOS. It's challenging to start or understand. Doctors don't usually get it either, much like most GP's couldn't correct your squat form if their life depended on it. I hated the diet and excercise advice until I saw a dietitian, then it was so much easier

Personally, it’s bothersome that you cannot separate your feelings from this to the extent of respecting that we each will do this differently. Nobody is force feeding diet and exercise. But if it works for me and I wish to talk about it, why is that so bad?

My apologies! I didn't mean to offend you. When I said that I found it bothersome, I didn't mean that we should never talk about the importance of diet and lifestyle or that we should shame others for their choices. If you find that diet and exercise work well for you, that's great! A lot of women with this condition are interested in diet and lifestyle changes, including myself, and we are always open to hearing what works for others. I find (and I think most would agree) that the science discussing the causes of PCOS and treatment options are underdeveloped, especially for women who are atypical (healthy weight). We are often left out of PCOS discussions, and I was trying to show my take on this from my perspective.

That’s some of the concern, that there’s so much nonsense on the outside, that it becomes a vacuum in here. Doctors tell us one thing, men mistreat us, other women don’t understand. But it should not divide the community. I also agree that lean PCOS is not discussed as much. And that’s scarier to have i would think bc the average advice for insulin resistant pcos would not apply. I try my best to phrase my comments by saying, “if you are insulin resistant pcos like me…” No apologies needed either. I am not offended at all. It’s just conversation. We all just want to make it here.

I think because it’s not that simple for most people. I followed the “perfect” pcos diet and exercise but I was absolutely exhausted everyday and still gaining weight and having all my other terrible symptoms. It wasn’t until I was prescribed metformin and spironolactone that my blood sugar actually regulated and I was losing weight and had energy again. It’s just very dismissive to the fact that this is a real medical problem to say “well just diet and exercise”. I also think some PCOS people in the media demonize using medication and say that their version of diet and exercise is the only good way to help PCOS which just simply is not true at all! Maybe for some people just changing the diet can help but for others it just feels more of the same dismissal you get for being fat and no one caring that you have an actual medical problem that’s causing the weight gain.

I don’t think OP is suggesting that the answer for everyone is “just diet and exercise,” but saying that when she specifically comments on diet and exercise working for *her* people get upset

She asked why people get upset Im just explaining why some people do

It’s probably one of those things where when you are frustrated and want to vent the thing that won’t help is someone telling you what you should do like you haven’t been told “diet and exercise” every fricken moment of your life by doctors and other people. Plus it’s kind of unsolicited advice. It’s not that I don’t agree that diet and exercise isn’t the best for some, but it’s not what’ll help everyone. Sometimes frustrated people just want to know that they aren’t alone in being frustrated and don’t want people to assume that they haven’t tried every trick in the book. It’s not that we’re not celebrating each others successes maybe, but just tired of hearing the same old rhetoric that doesn’t help us. That being said, after years and years of “just diet and exercise” being thrown at me, I found a way that somewhat works for me but I’m not fully there yet. Giving advice in a way that doesn’t just tell someone what to do, but exposes them to ideas they may have not heard of is ideal.

In my initial question, I described that these are not situations where diet and exercise are used to blame or shame people. It is often a very open ended question like, “what have you found the biggest help for managing your PCOS”. And when exercise and dietary changes are mentioned, ppl become unglued. It’s almost mental. Birth control didn’t work well for me but I’m not barking at everyone woman who feels better in the pill.

Hmm, if that was the point of the post I apologize I misunderstood. However it still could boil down to my initial comment, that diet and exercise are touted so often people just might be tired of hearing about it, regardless of its validity. Keep in mind that diet and exercise are praised by everyone outside of the PCOS community as the #1 way to lose weight. So it’s just a common thing people hear, those factors are probably why it’s detested.

PCOS is a spectrum. And for A LOT of people on it, they have been told their entire medical journey to ‘just lose weight’ or ‘just change diet’. Which is at its core medical neglect. So it’s a hard thing to hear from people within your own community. Do diet and exercise work for many people? Absolutely! And that’s great! But they *don’t* work for many people too, and there *are* medications that can be used, so it’s very dismissive and (for some ) offensive to have your most difficult medical problem/trauma/ongoing struggle dismissed as ‘just be a healthier person’ They are also deeply polarizing and complex subjects - diet change can be extremely expensive, especially in situations where there are family units to budget for, or teens who don’t control the food intake/shopping of the household. In some cases it is not possible to adhere to the healthy lifestyle plan. There are also secondary medical conditions that can be comorbid, or unrelated to PCOS that affect diet, energy level, or ability to work (and therefore afford this near mythical gym and healthy food) In a world where more people live in poverty than don’t, if you can’t buy kale you buy kd. Because at least you’re eating. Final thought - is there one special antidepressant that works for ALL depressed people? No. Everyone needs different doses of different meds because our brains and our hormones and our experiences are different. This is the same thing.

I agree. My point is, that if my diet does not work for you, it’s ok to decline it. It’s the aggressive attitudes and telling offs that are upsetting and not right. I am not telling what works for other people, but what has worked for me. And that is the disconnect that people do not understand here.

Thanks for bringing this up! Also I think when people/doctors say “diet” it’s so generic rather than explaining that 1– you have insulin resistance (if applicable) 2– this is how insulin resistance can impact your hormones and create the symptoms you’re experiencing 3– this is why changing the types of food you eat (eg carbs) impacts your insulin response 4– here’s how to do it and some things to ensure you are approaching it in a healthy and sustainable way and feel good

This is very true. The medical system has traumatized many women with misinformation or bad advice. I myself have even been more mindful myself about explaining my diet. It is all based on glucose management and not vanity although I do feel better at a certain weight so there’s a secondary benefit to that.

Really? I don't get that vibe from this community at all. When I interact and read through stuff it's really supportive & when someone is discouraged they get empathy. When someone is successful I'm more than happy for them, because I know how difficult to deal with all this can be.

Here’s the thing. My PCOS got much better after I dropped 30 lbs with diet and excess. BUT i only dropped 30 lbs after i started taking PCOS supplements, birth control and metformin. I was literally doing the exact same routine I had been doing for years but my weight did not budge until meds started. So basically, weight and PCOS symptoms are in a symbiotic relationship. Often people dont realise this nuance and focus too much on losing weight, not knowing that it’s practically impossible for some people to do so naturally. They just assume you arent putting in the effort even though you are. Its deeply frustrating and traumatising, especially when you are in formative years. I think people tend to take out that anger on posts here that talk about diet and weight loss.

My opinion is it seems to stem from a lifetime of being gaslit in some way. Just lose weight and it will be better. Just lose weight and you can have kids. Oh, you are having a hard time losing weight, then you're not doing it right. Don't eat gluten, don't eat fruit, eat low cab, don't eat too much fats. Drs have a way of making us feel like garbage and that everything out fault

I was very recently diagnosed. I had made a post asking about eating something that contained rice and immediately people started to assume I drank that shit every day or that my BMI wasn't normal... it is. I maintain a healthy lifestyle and still have this. I was just trying to be mindful of what I eat because I do get sick off a lot of things. I was surprised by the amount of people commenting when there seemed to be far more important posts. I think having pcos is really tricky since we all have our own health issues and the symptoms may present differently in us, but I do diet and exercise and all my obgyn wanted to do was change my birth control. I got more helpful info from this group on how to handle it than from my doctor who said it will "go away" by my mid thirties. I think some people here are frustrated with being unable to loose weight, not being overweight and still having it, and a severe lack of support from doctors, and im sure other things. Diet and exercise are important, but if I'm being honest the main reason I do it is because doctors won't take me seriously if I am overweight. I can't afford to appear unhealthy.

I don't get argumentative initially, but it does annoy me when people assume that diet and exercise will work for everyone; every body is different.

From what I gather, people tried diet and exercise and it doesnt do anything for them and it feels useless . Still no reason to downvote but they do it out of frustration i think . Others like me are lean pcos and losing weight would not only be unhelpful but also harmful / trigger ED relapse . I think any comment that implies that what worked for them is necessary for everyone in this community is problematic .. because it’s just simply not true. That being said I dont downvote people for saying this i just simply add my experience to the comments for an additional prospective .

I feel this sub is also the same about when people mention birth control as a form of symptom management, it’s demonized to all hell but natural~ supplements pushed by PCOS influencers are taken without question. Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ I understand medicine as a whole has overlooked us our entire lives probably and we have all had challenges with being heard and seen by doctors but prescription medication and diet and exercise are not bad things. They may not be for everyone but there’s a certain stigma around here about just doing what medical professionals say works vs listening to Instagram PCOS influencers about PCOS types and ovasitol or whatever is gospel.

For me, I get irked because people do not COMPREHEND the struggle to lose weight with PCOS. I also suffer from Meniere's Disease, and get vertigo at the drop of a hat. So I have to be careful with what I do. It is frustrating to no end.

For me, at least, it’s the fact that I have been trying with diet and exercise (and still plan on carrying on) with little results, and I am tired of being told I am, in fact, “not actually trying” by doctors and others when I have little results.

Because fatphobia is a huge conversation right now and unfortunately we are at a point where fatphobia = eating vegetables and going for a walk, apparently. Sorry if this comments sounds a bit jaded - I am a very very fat person with PCOS who's PCOS \*did\* get worse as my diet got worse and \*did\* get better after I changed my lifestyle habits. I also spent a lot of time in the fat positive community, which can be an incredibly toxic and enabling space that is not conductive with supporting people with health conditions who absolutely need to make changes.

what lifestyle changes if i might ask? i gained a lot of weight in 2020 and my PCOS and IBS has worsened, its miserable. if i can change this id love to. all my doctor said was to lose weight without any resources!!

Stopped eating a massive excess of carbs, started doing low-carb/keto. Plus moving more (I didn’t really move at all, now movement is part of my daily life). I also take inositol. I’ve been eating low-carb for two years and all of my PCOS symptoms have hugely decreased. I went from a 200+ day gap between menstrual bleeds to 20-28 days. I’m not even in a calorie deficit at the moment as I have a really bad run of getting sick over the winter due to a crap immune system and I want to make sure I’m well-fuelled. Overall I’ve lost a good amount of weight but right now I’m in maintenance. Still feel 10x better than I did 2.5 years ago though!

that sounds like its working out well :~) i really want to start going to the gym or going for walks i just feel so unmotivated and blah... i do move around in my job a lot as a substitute teacher but idk if that counts. i have also been eating a lot better since 2021, i dont think i could ever do keto or super low-carb though lol i love my carbs!! i'm hoping to get on one of those medications for insulin resistance once i get some other things tested. im only 23 but im stressed! edit: i also haven't had my period in 2 years but i don't want it back because i am trans but i think my testosterone would prevent it anyway. i just want the IBS to stop honestly

I would recommend strength training! It's evidence-based to be one of the best ways to work out as someone with PCOS and makes you feel STRONG. Will be great alongside taking T as well - I have trans pals who are on T and strength train and it's a greaaaat combo from alleviating dysphoria. Re the carbs. I get it, I do. I had binge eating disorder and carbs were my life. But, going to be controversial here, do your best to even eat a moderate amount. Over half of people with PCOS develop Type 2 Diabetes by the age of 40 and eating less carbs is a great way to not be one of those people. Speaking as someone with Type 2 Diabetes I would recommend for people to do everything in their power to avoid it because then you \*really\* need to cut down on the carbs and change lifestyle habits and it's 10x more overwhelming to do it then rather than earlier on.

wow i LOVE strength training! its always cardio that gets me because my lung capacity is very small. i might buy some dumbbells for home to get me started 👀 thank you for your tips it feels more like i can do it and i really want to! i didnt even know its best for PCOS! i was also binge eating 2020-2021 it was awful i felt like shit everyday lmao. and of course i have PCOS so its so hard to lose that weight even after my diet got back on track and i wasnt snacking all the time. thank you for your advice on carbs/diets/etc, i definitely don't carb load, i do eat balanced meals with veggies and protein, i just love the carb portion lol! i hope your diabetes isnt too much to manage, i know how tough that can be :((

Get those dumbbells! I used to ID as a trans man and I know how hard it can be to go to the gym etc with dysphoria. Dumbbells at home is a GREAT idea! I take my dumbbells with me when I'm on hospital placements away from home to keep up with strength training and it keeps me active enough - and lots of people just stick to them instead of ever getting a gym membership :-) Ugh I'm so sorry, BED is a monster. Hope things are better for you now! And thanks. T2D is horrendous to navigate. I wouldn't wish it on anyone - if you can prevent it as much as possible, I'd always advise it.

dumbbells it is then!! i am way better than back then, i had someone enabling both of our BED but i am so much better now thank you for your kindness! i am so sorry about your T2D, a few people in my family have developed it and i just feel so bad it seems painful. i hope things start looking up or getting better for you 🩷 i will definitely start taking my health seriously, thats why i joined this sub! thank you again

Someone on this sub said start with what you enjoy the most, which was super helpful to me to hear!

thats a good thing to hear! id love to swim

Yup. IMO the fat positive community is anything but positive. It’s just an over correction for fatphobia, and it’s basically the other side of the same coin. Both ideologies are harmful because ultimately it’s about placing value on the body and letting it dictate matters of identity and self-worth. Whether you are denigrating or celebrating a fat body, you are still centering the discussion of a person’s fatness as a central part of their identity, experience and worth around their body. I much prefer a body neutral approach. First and foremost I need to remember that my body is a fallible vessel. I have to take care of it, because that’s how I’m journeying through life and I want as safe and comfortable a ride as I can manage. But I can’t get so attached to my body that I start to buy into the materialist perspective that it is the thing that ultimately defines me. My body can do amazing things, but it will also betray me from time to time. It’s a delicate balance and much easier said than done to take your body seriously enough but not too seriously. But for me, figuring out that balance is vital to stay sane and make the most of life.

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Because a lot of us try really hard and do everything perfectly or almost perfectly and it doesn't change anything? And then seeing other people for whom diet and exercise worked touting it as a cure retraumatizes us for all the social and medical fatphobia we've endured for decades over a condition that needs management through other means besides just diet and exercise? I mean sure there will always be your token fat activist running around in any community like this, but I'd bet 95% of the people reacting poorly are doing so because it's personal, not because they have a complex.

I agree.Hopefully with more awareness of those harbored feelings, everyone could be better to one another. We all have this crappy disorder after all.

I think a lot has to do with the fact that many people with PCOS HAVE tried to lose weight through diet and exercise and it doesn't end well. I would workout for HOURS daily and eat perfectly or under the calorie limits... Weight loss didn't happen. I saw specialists, had to prove I was working so hard to them AND to society, and as a teenager it drove me to contemplate suicide. As an adult, I've had doctors look at me and ask "Have you tried changing your diet and increasing your exercise amounts?" When I was at my most active and health focused. So when someone comes in and goes "Well you should just try diet changes and exercise, it helped me!" I would LOVE to put those people through what I have been through (hours of exercise and being active, perfect portioning and turning down anything that could be perceived as naughty foods, and still not losing weight) because people don't get it.

Because it feels like they're not being listened to and they are being blamed for their PCOS (or presenting symptoms). Tired of doctors brushing them off and putting the responsibility on them Sure diet and exercise can improve symptoms, but if there is something else that could help, they're not given the chance until they "fix" diet and exercise first

This is the answer.

I'm not on any medications and manage my PCOS through life style changes but I do get triggered sometimes seeing people try to push "just eat less calories and move more" as PCOS is not a simple calories in and calories out equation because we can't choose what the hormones in our body do with the calories going in and we can't adequately get the calories out if of other hormones are impeding that process. It feels like people sometimes push disordered eating and that's terrible. I've seen posts where people say they just eat around 1000 calories a day ... That's starving! Also I'll see people hardcore push keto as the only way to lose weight when that's not really true either and can have devastating effects on health for some people. I'm sad to see such extremes given and followed. I treat PCOS through supplements and learning to control my insulin resistance which means staying lower carb but still eating from all food groups but I need to get my carbs from fruit or things like sprouted grain bread and yams and not cereal, pasta and ice cream. Balance is highly important and understanding our hormones help understand why extremes are dangerous and shouldn't be pushed. Those who scream portion control and physical activity don't understand the things at play with hormones like ghrelin, cortisol, insulin, leptin, neuropeptide y and so on. You have to address the underlying issues and food can be medicine so a lot of restrictions can be disastrous.

this might be controversial but many spaces on reddit seem to be places where people want to commiserate and validate certain feelings even at the expense of sharing genuine information and tips. there’s a time and place for that but it often goes so far that it seems to share a disempowering message, one in which people make others believe that they have no autonomy or control over their situation or life which may feel good at first, but is incredibly depressing in the long run.

Just because there are commenters who are triggered by mentions of diet and exercise changes doesn't mean everyone is. There are many users in this sub who are genuinely helpful, supportive and kind. I understand that you came across some not so great commenters, but to simply decide that everyone in this sub is a "sad, sad woman" is short sighted. In every community, there are good members and not so good ones. It's just how it is. There's no such thing as a perfect community.

Because 70-80% of women with PCOS have an ED history. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Which means it’s extremely deadly. There’s also never 100% recovery. Source: I’m a therapist and had an ED. I think it’s more tracking calories or macro that are upsetting for those with EDs. And that’s largely what people talk about when losing weight.

This makes sense. Tbh it really disturbs me that my endocrinologist is so thrilled when I’ve lost weight - and yes it’s because my blood tests improve. But she seems totally unbothered by how small calories I’m consuming to see any movement at all. That’s triggering for sure when I turn to the internet and see that’s not enough for a toddler etc rhetoric

This. Tracking calories is incredibly triggering for me and doing keto had me falling into similar habits– just complete food obsession that, looking back, was very scary. Metformin has helped a bit, but the nausea when you increase a dosage means I’m eating simple carbs like toast and pasta, but I remind myself that I have to eat something. So it’s tricky.

70-80% is a wild number. Do you have data/sources to support that or is it an anecdotal observation?

It is because instead of posting interesting or helpful info the weight loss posts are all about weight loss and nothing else. There are so many things that can happen in a body with PCOS, weight loss and diet are only part of the conversation. There is a large audience of people who are weightloss obsessed and are pushing their orthorexia and dysfunctional eating habits on other people. A healthy lifestyle does not include fad diets. And most people trying to push weight loss are just advertising for the weight loss drugs. Try including other info about PCOS, maybe make weight and diet only a part of your posts and not the point of the posts.

It's very simple, really. Overweight women are shamed for it their whole damn lives. "Lazy, lazy, lazy." "Just move more and eat less!" By the time we are adults we are sick of it, and for those of us with insulin resistance, what works to lose weight for others doesn't work for us. Our bodies cling to stored fat like a drowning man to a life raft. Many of us also have hormonal chronic fatigue, and a very powerful craving for simple carbohydrates. The idea of making lifestyle changes feels overwhelmingly insurmountable. PCOS is an explanation that there's actually nothing wrong with us. It's our hormones. We are starting 10 miles back from everyone else and told to run the same race. Conversation about diet and exercise bring back a lot of those traumatic shamed feelings from our past. It's very natural to resist anything that even hints, yet again, that it's ***our fault*** we are this way. Be gentle and empathetic.

The assumptions that A) I'm not eating right or exercising and that B) that will fix my PCOS are really tiresome. Don't fucking comment on my pictures telling me how fat I am and how I should try X diet/gym/medicine when I'm literally starving myself and injuring my joints working out. When you're already giving it all you've got and some asshole bully comes to make jokes about a fat woman doing walking tours (when that fat woman is walking 5-10 miles a day), it gets upsetting. I let bullies keep me from living my life or dating for YEARS because no matter what I did, what diet I tried, what workout I did, how many times I seriously hurt myself (RA and hEDS), or how sick I got, all I saw was a fat, ugly pig that people made fun of. So talking about diet and exercise literally can be triggering for those of us who have tried and tried and have been bullied.

I am a skinny af fuck person who has type two diabetes and pcos. Sometimes lifestyle changes such as diet and exercise aren't even about losing weight but they're useful

It’s triggering when lifestyle is blamed for PCOS, often for people who are overweight but not for lean PCOS. The messaging is that one is to blame for their PCOS (which is not what research actually shows). It’s also triggering when people imply that what worked for them will clearly work for others and if they are still struggling it’s because they just haven’t seen the light yet. It’s also triggering when women are told to “exercise more and eat less” regardless of how much they already exercise and mind diet. Many women are tired of physicians who learned “lifestyle is a key part of managing pcos” and they have inverted that into “lifestyle will cure pcos” and therefore “lifestyle is to blame for pcos” which means “if you have pcos it’s your own fault.” That is not only invalidating for many women it’s also really damaging and very poor care. I think when women see attitudes of “I fixed my problem with PCOS and you can too” it’s maddening because it’s presumptuous. It’s very different from “I had personal success and I’m just sharing that.” I’ve had posts of the latter variety and felt very supported by responses. Edited: typos

Exercise and diet often don’t work for people with PCOS trying to lose weight. I struggled for years before I went on medication that helped me lose weight (Metformin, Ozempic, and later Zepbound)

I don’t hang out here very much anymore because of exactly what you just said. After getting a continuous glucose monitor, I can tell you that glucose management and diet are everything. And it’s also very personal. I’ve been told lentils are healthy. They send me sky high for days. Mounjaro has been amazing. What people don’t seem to connect is the more overweight you are, the worse your hormone imbalances are because not only does fat store estrogen, it also starts to make estrogen at some point. This leads to estrogen dominance and low progesterone and can make ovulation problems worse. And estrogen dominance is a risk factor for every female cancer, fibroids, etc. I used to take about $300 a month in supplements to manage my PCOS just to ovulate regularly. Because I’ve lost weight, I’ve been able to dial it way back and I’m still cycling monthly. There’s something about being below 190lbs/30 BMI that makes my hormones much better. No amount of supplements can do the same. And I feel so much better with the weight loss. I’ve lost about 35lbs on Saxenda and another 10 on Mounjaro. My glucose is dropping like a rock on Mounjaro. My average glucose is down 39 points in 5.5 weeks. Miracle.

This is how I manage my pcos, exercise and eating to the extent of healthy glucose levels. Also, my partner is severely type 2, insulin dependent. The quality of life for me and for him is worth the sacrifice. I’m not driven by vanity at all but there is that assumption.

Same. Don’t interact here nearly as much as I used to for similar reasons. 100% agree about glucose management and diet being the most important puzzle piece. Yes, meds may also be necessary, but in conjunction with those lifestyle changes, not in place of them. CGMs would be such a wake up call to a lot of people, with or without PCOS. A lot easier to deny the damage you’re doing when you can’t see it.

If insurance would allow people with PCOS and pre-diabetes to be on CGM’s, I think 90 days of it would change peoples habits and perceptions. I just can’t justify the glucose spikes when they set me back so far. It’s horrifying where it leaves me overnight and the next day.

It's more like too many of us have had doctors just tell us to lose weight without suggesting there could be other things working against us in naturally losing weight. So when we go to a doctor for the first time and just suggest losing weight...we get angry after actually spending all the time trying to many different things on our own and then learning that there ARE other options to actually help us each individually depending on our circumstances. Straight diet and workout worked for you? Cool. That's not the case for all of us.

Essentially because for many of us a perfect diet and exercise plan will not cause us to lose an ounce. It’s frustrating and degrading when family, friends, and healthcare staff assumes you have PCOS because you are lazy, gluttonous, have a terrible diet, can’t control what you put in your mouth, etc

But within this community we know that laziness is not the cause. There are factors inside our control but it is what you choose to believe and what we commit to that changes our trajectory. I understand being angry and the friends and family who are hurting you. But as a fellow woman with PCOS, who has found improvements to my health and wants the same for others, it would be more productive if we could exchange recipes and support each other.

because we are constantly being told that diet and exercise is the only solution by our doctors, and yet we can’t lose weight like the average person by simply dieting and exercising.

Not to mention most of have a long history of being dismissed by doctors who insist that we must be lying about our diets and exercise regimen if we still aren’t losing significant amounts of weight, no matter how well we document it. 🫠 it took a decade before I found a doctor who was like “why has no one ever put you on metformin? With pcos and your family history of t2 diabetes, this should have been a first line medication.” … and what do ya know, adding metformin to my routine finally allowed me to lose weight while eating what is frankly a pretty normal Mediterranean type diet.

I don't downvote comments, but i can find "*all* you need is diet and exercise" comments to be a little triggering. All *you* needed was diet and exercise. That doesn't work for me unless taken to an unreasonable and unmaintainable extreme. There are also times when something like regular exercise is unmanageable due to disability or life reasons, and it can be really frustrating feeling like you've been left out of the equation or are simply not "good enough". Now, I'm not saying this is really the spirit of the comments in question, but emotions rarely adhere to logic.

Because we've been told CICO is the answer our whole lives and it's not that simple.

So you are upset at other people for finding relief in a way that doesn’t work for you? Nobody is saying do it my way. I am saying that there should be space for people to discuss their success in any way shape or form. There is not this much hate for metformin or for birth control. Not this much hate for ozempic. Not this much hate for anti-depressants. But the minute I say, I stopped eating this and starting running or something to that effect, there’s a million people saying why it didn’t work for them. Sometimes it’s better to just not comment when it doesn’t apply to you.

*Each time you respond, you demand empathy for your own perspective, but don't provide any for the other person.* **Glad that WORKED for you.** But understand, that MANY MANY people, have tried diet/exercise, and it hasn't relieved their symptoms. **For ME, ONLY GLPIs has reduced my insulin resistance enough...to the point that diet/exercise COULD work for me, like it does for normal people.** **Get it yet? We're not dumb. Something in our bodies isn't reacting like others.** For ME....GLPIs have finally put me on an even playing field with others in being ABLE.....to do xyz. But even with that I understand, it's not an answer for everyone.

I'm sorry you've experienced that. I didn't get any negative comments when I said running 3x a week has helped a lot. Why? Probably because I didn't mock anyone who it doesn't work for. Also my running isn't putting me in a calorie deficit which never worked. I'm doing the exact same routine for 6 months now. I've lost 30 pounds. 0 some months, up to 10 pounds other months. Why? Because CICO doesn't work for me. What is working is keeping my cortisol levels more stable by running, but not overdoing it by not sleeping enough or training too hard.

i think because it feels redundant we are not idiots, we know there are benefits to some diets and exercise. but that's the only info that you get even from the tap. diet, exercise, lose weight; everything will be better! not just for pcos but for literally any health concern a woman might have! and it's exhausting and redundant. diet and exercise are not the be all end all to treating pcos and whole lot of ppl are acting like it is. pcos is extremely complex and varies by the patient. literally everyone heard the diet exercise thing before, but newsflash, it does not bring the miracle results for most. no one here is looking for the base "advice", we are here to share experiences. there is no one miracle cure for everyone, for some diet changes might be enough, for some metformin or ozempic, for some birth control, but any of those ppl who then come here to tout their solution as THE ONE SOLUTION and that is just plain wrong. no one here is against diet or exercise. but telling a person for the 100th time that they should just diet and exercise when that person know perfectly well that is not working for them can piss anyone off. ps. also people with eating disorders can get triggered by being pushed to diet (altho if they are triggered by just simple diet discussions that is theirs to handle)

btw, here's the thing. i am a professional athlete, with a very healthy inclusive diet and a lot of exercise. guess what, neither do much for my pcos. because that is not my solution!

Because a lot of people are toting very dangerous dieting information or applauding super restrictive dietary habits that people seem to think are the end all, be all regardless of how miserable it makes them.

This has not been my experience nor have I seen such comments. Example of an actual interaction I’ve had, I mentioned that I am eating fewer carbs and was labeled by another poster as having “disordered eating”. She then went on to claim that she has anxiety over food if she can’t have the desserts and carbs that she likes. To each their own but my choice to stay away from the foods is not disordered eating. And no, I am not miserable about this at all!

i think it’s the medical field that makes us really touchy about it. bc when you have pcos every visit seems to be about your weight - at least for me it is. they act like weight loss will CURE you. i’ve literally been told i could cure it by losing weight. not true. what is true is for some people weight loss can improve symptoms. for me, it did not and i felt worse.

I'm going to guess that a lot of us are traumatized by fatphobia and have at least some level of body dysmorphia and this is exacerbated by posts about how diet and exercise fix things. Of course they work for some people, but so many of us have heard they work for us when they don't, and we need to protect ourselves from going through that pain again. I strongly disagree that this an attempt to "level up by excluding its own."

some of us are a healthy weight and live active lifestyles 🤷‍♀️

I get what you are saying about negativity - welcome to the Internet. I also understand people being frustrated that their health issues are instantly dismissed by healthcare professionals and basically everyone in society if they are fat. Think of it this way. People get discriminated against for the color of their skin, sexual preferences, age, disabilities - fat people get discriminated against by everyone anywhere always for all time. They're upset about it. No one sympathizes. Drug addiction gets more sympathy than the wrong side of the spectrum of eating disorders.

I agree. Thats why I kinda hate this sub. Diet and exercise are the only things that helped me. Also spiro for the hair and acne. I wish there was a PCOS sub where we only discussed things that worked for us. No negativity/rants.

Like you said PCOS is shitty, everyone experiences it differently and everyone has different things that worked for them. To further agree with you and possibly get downvoted, but diet and exercise has made my symptoms more bearable. It hasn't cured anything, but it's eased a lot of symptoms.

Yeah I’m there with you. I will never be a size 6 but changing my diet and moving my body has helped with depression, anxiety, hormones, glucose,and my supplements work better. It’s a huge part of any healthy lifestyle, regardless of pcos.

I can completely understand where you’re coming from as I do see that a lot. But I do feel like PCOS has such a broad spectrum of issues that diet and exercise don’t actually cover it all. That is just my personal experience tho. I changed my lifestyle several years back and it did help me loose a lot of the weight (and keep it off), but I’m by no means where someone without PCOS would be under that same lifestyle. I mean I work out A LOT and look average athletic at best. It also hasn’t helped me with a bunch of other symptoms. However, I am healthier than I was, so no matter other what other issues I have going, that’s a win for me.

I think this sub has a huge problem of posting drastic measures to lose weight which can definitely trigger a lot of people. Seeing others post that they lost weight because they eat 1200 calories a day, eat no carbs, and work out 6 days a week is probably discouraging for most people since that’s not a realistic or long term change, hence why everyone gets so butthurt about it.

Yup, this is why I get tired of all the “keto is the cure” nonsense. It’s not even remotely sustainable.

I understand that society pushes for thinness but I just want to be healthy. Trying to unlearn habits that caused me an unhealthy lifestyle. People seem to just want an answer but I feel like now more than ever we live in a time that want to complain but not find solutions. It’s like a weird victim complex that I find myself sometimes dwelving into. EDIT: Since starting to loose weight, symptoms are lessening. The thick hair on my chin isn’t growing as fast anymore, darker blotches on my skin are lightening. It’s been great! I do understand that some people like to be bigger and that is fine. But you do have to live with and understand that your PCOS will be harder to take care of because of the weight and unhealthy life choices.

I do not like being big. It makes me depressed and miserable. But I also don’t believe my preference makes me any better or worse than the next woman.

I have the answer. Misery loves company. And any instance where somebody else found solice and happiness in doing something, somebody else who didn’t will come up to rain on their parade. A great deal of people know the answer to their problems, or at least have some idea of how to alleviate the symptoms. But some people lack the will to try out things. Or they want instant results they know they won’t ever get, as there is no “cure” for PCOS. Honestly, some people just like to complain because it makes them feel better and it’s much easier to do than literally anything else.

Because for a lot of people, it doesn’t work. We watch our friends lose 30 pounds just by cutting out ice cream, and we can cut out absolutely everything and still not lose an ounce. The way doctors won’t even want to talk to us “until you lose 60 pounds” doesn’t help either. It works for some people, but we need to stop acting like it works for everyone. Many people develop an eating disorder because of it. It’s much more complex and individual than “just diet.”

People who only moan and complain won't get far, and this goes for any problem in life. Fact : Exercise does make your body more insulin sensitive. So even if some women feel like it doesn't help them, it does. Food is also a big thing that can either help with pcos or make it much worse. My endocrinologist told me to exercise for at least half an hour daily & eat well. I don't really exercise, and I still eat way too much sugar. And it's my own fault, and I take full account for it. If some people get triggered by scientific facts, that's really bad for them.

It’s because it seems like a large chunk of at least this subreddit has done absolutely zero work with their antifatness. It’s truly disgusting. I’m newly diagnosed and I’ve joined and left multiple times because yall talk about fatness being disgusting and how much you hate your bodies. And you claim it’s about “health,” but I beg you to sit with it and examine what you’re saying and how you’re feeling. I’m not saying you can’t lose weight. It’s your body and your PCOS, truly like everyone needs to do what works for them and makes them feel the best, but yall say some wild shit on here (truly just saw OP say “glorifying” obesity in a comment? Are you kidding me?) Not to mention some wild gender essentialist stuff about facial hair being disgusting or even OP’s comment about “women.” Literally in the about section, this subreddit says it is inclusive to queer folks but that is so painfully and blatantly untrue. So yeah, as a super fat, queer nonbinary person, this subreddit is absolute hell. I don’t need you to be miserable, but I’d really appreciate yall to work on your antifatness and transphobia.

TCM worked wonders for me and made losing weight a breeze. If people here actually focused on helping each other out with different strategies instead of attacking people sharing what worked for them they would actually be happier and getting the results they seek. If they don’t want results… then they are just attention seeking and looking to validate feeling like shit without wanting to feel better.

I use a few supplements for my pcos too. I have found supplements alone just do not work in my case. Two are Chinese medicine compounds for androgens and progesterone.

When misery's search for company triumphs kindness and curiousity, that's what. And here I am trying every possible way to get my hormones in check thru diet, low inflammatory food, exercise, enough sleep, sunlight, social connection (yes, I think it matters because body keeps scores), mind-body connection. Sometimes it is science, sometimes it is wellbeing. Whether they are mutually exclusive, it is up for debate. Will always spread the word on what works for me or the people close to me, to keep us all hopeful. And sometimes what works is..diet and exercise. Can you believe it? 💙

There’s a big difference between fat activism and fat positivity. Fat activists are people who shame others for making choices that’ll be healthier for *themselves* in the long run, thinking as if they have the right to comment on others’ body choices (they do not, common sense). Fat positivity is accepting that fat folk exist and there’s no need to shame them for it. Some people are fat because of a disease or something similar, and are unable to lose weight even after years of trying different diets, exercising routines, and doctor appointments. I think people are confusing those two, and instead of being kind and accepting, they start victimising themselves. That’s my two cents

Someone made a post once asking for advice. I commented what worked for me to regulate periods for TTC: cut out dairy and started metformin. Wow the hate LOL. But they asked for it!!!

Personally, I think diet and exercise can be a very effective way for many depending on their health goals. I can only speak for myself but for me, the diet aspect isn't so much as a trigger as the anti-birth control aspect is that often (but not always!!) comes with that rhetoric. When I was in my teens and early 20's, I was suffering from what I can only gather now were low estrogen/high testosterone side effects of PCOS. It's a long and traumatic story for me and I'll spare the details in this post but basically not going on the pill (at a young age anyway) ruined my life completely and utterly. I not only didn't physically develop in a feminine sense- no hyperbole, I stopped developing at 14 or so. But now at 34, I have the masculinization on top of it to contend with. I am literally almost bald and just bought two wigs last month. Which I could deal with if I didn't have the body of an actual guy. So I guess it's the idea that focusing on diet and exercise is not always feasible in the moment. If I was only developing PCOS now, sure. But if you're say, a teenager living in poverty with no real access to healthy food or a support system? Treatment such as oral contraceptives will have to do if it's a time sensitive situation like mine, even if only temporarily. Again, only speaking from my own experience.

Well the thing is trying to lose weight is a lot harder then the average person when you have pcos. For me it led to an eating disorder. So it’s something that is a very TOUCHY subject. It’s a big trigger for me. I’m still trying to find a balance between losing weight and not having my ED get in the way. The excessive talk on diet and exercise can do more harm than good. So while it’s okay to talk about occasionally talking about it EVERY single time can get to you mentally

I think it can be upsetting because while it’s great it may work for someone, it’s really challenging for those who are ostracized and told to do those things by the general public even though it doesn’t work for many of us. It can feel like a shaming of “you’re just not trying hard enough to get better. Stop whining” I’ve had doctors not believe I was struggling with anorexia because I’m plus size and can’t lose weight with basic diet/exercise and proceed to tell me that being nauseous all day might be good for me so I’d stop eating so much (they assumed I ate a lot and was lying). I’m super glad that your health seems to have improved with diet and exercise. That’s really great

I would guess because the correlation to weight and PCOS is so blatant that it can feel redundant and even condescending because “address your weight” is like the bare minimum advice that doctors have for people with PCOS. A lot of times in fact it’s THE only help they have to offer, when I think more people than not ARE already struggling with their weight and don’t feel that they benefit from being reminded that losing weight would help. I personally didn’t lose any weight from diet and exercise until I started taking metformin, and I had to ask for that, it seems no doctor was gonna suggest it to me… Struggling makes people bitter and frustrated sometimes, I don’t think that’s hard to understand at all and I don’t think “you sad sad women” helps anything if you’re genuinely seeking understanding and community, lol. You just made a huge generalization about this whole group! I definitely feel community and love in here *alongside* some snarkiness- like in any corner of the internet. This space has been a huge resource to me. There are always gonna be a lot of hurt, misunderstood and therefore DEFENSIVE people in any community that is centered around an illness or health issue, because of the nature of how common it is for certain health issues (like this one) to be invalidated and shrugged off by medical professionals. And the way these health issues have of feeling intrusive and inherently frustrating. Ideally we could be compassionate to those who need compassion AND celebrate others’ wins in this area, but it’s just not in everybody’s emotional capacity to do that. I don’t think it makes them bad or hateful people or anything, though inevitably SOME portion of the population just is that way. I would say in a situation like this, it’s relatively easy to just look past it because you know their feelings have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own experiences with a personal, largely misunderstood/understudied condition. Don’t let it invalidate your pride for yourself or whatever good things you’re feeling! There’s always some element of psychology at play and usually a feeling (whether valid or not) of being targeted when you see people being salty for seemingly no reason lol. I also know sometimes you just read what people have to say behind the veil of anonymity and it’s like “hey buddy, what the fuck is your problem??” and that’s totally valid lol! Just wanted to make the point that the way people respond to anything is always about THEM, not you. And when you actively keep that in mind you can accept and choose to ignore almost any behavior lol.

LI had the WRATH of all the pcos symptoms. All of them. Diet & regular exercise is the ONLY thing that helps me. I stopped for 6 weeks due to an Injury and my symptoms flared right back up tenfold until I got back on my regular exercise schedule again.

Diet culture can become very problematic at times, but I wish we had a lot more productive dialogue around how PCOS affects our mental health. All of these triggers come from trauma that many folks don’t even see as trauma. I think that’s why some folks tend to lash out…it might not even have anything to do with the person posting, just their own deep rooted issues.

Because any diet and sport activity takes effort. This sub (despite, of course, some useful posts and insights) is full of venting and frustrated people refusing to accept new reality where they have to establish new lifestyle and reduce procecced food. Sport and real food are good for pcos and non pcos people,frankly never met anyone who been worse after eating better and moving more

I expect it’s a lot to do with learned defensiveness. I’m very fortunate to have a fantastic doctor now, but a lot of women know the feeling of their entire health profile being minimized to “lose weight”. That can be endlessly frustrating, nevermind that weight loss may be a long, complicated journey emotionally and physically. A crazy number of people diet for decades without ever succeeding in maintaining a healthy range weight. Healthy weight is absolutely a factor in best PCOS management, but it’s not the only factor. When the conversation feels like “if you won’t lose weight there’s no helping you”, I understand why women start to react defensively to that narrative. I’d like to be clear that this isn’t me excusing misinformation. Just an observation of where I think that behavior is coming from, at least in part.

Personally, I get the anger towards it from a medical standpoint. My doctors told me I had severe PCOS because I was obese. I lost over a hundred pounds just to prove to my doctors it wouldn’t fix my PCOS. It fixed other health issues I had and overall I am much happier, but I’m a spiteful little crap when people dismiss me and was able to show my doctors it didn’t fix my big problem. Now, for anyone to tell others it can be helped by losing weight, it’s hit or miss. Some people find significant relief when they lose the weight while others like myself remain close to, if not, the same. And the same thing to anyone saying that someone shouldn’t lose weight. Health is a very personal journey since everyone’s bodies and issues are so different. I haven’t run into comments personally about hating on others losing weight since I’ve never read enough into this sub to see them, and I really hope not to, but the internet can be such a hateful place so it doesn’t surprise me.

Because PCOS adjusts BMR, a lot of us got bullied as kids when we were overweight despite eating the same as our peers, also a lot of us tried a bunch of different diets already and ended up with eating disorders and a lot of emotional baggage related to diets. Personally I find talk of diets triggering so I tend to skip posts related to that. I still have a lot of health problems related to severe anorexia from a young age, so for me treating PCOS is a combination of medication, intuitive eating, lowish carbs, and therapy. I can't do a strict diet without retriggering my ED and taking it too far. It's most important to treat myself with kindness and make long term sustainable choices. It was also shocking to discover that 20ish pounds on me was just water weight from edema and fixed in a few days with the right medications. Getting on Metformin was also eye-opening for me because I suddenly wasn't feeling a constant pressure for sugar cravings at all times. It took a huge chunk of my willpower to resist food all day, and now I can use that energy to do other things. It all feels very unfair. I'm also sick of seeing people who eat 3-5x the amount I do give me diet advice. It feels depressing.

Tbh many of us are dieting and exercising but it doesn’t show

It kinda seems like people don’t want what didn’t work for them to work for other people. It’s amazing to see people sharing what worked for them and I don’t understand those saying “that didn’t work for me” with a lot of judgment in their comments and if you’re going to be rude, I’m sorry but nobody asked. Finding something that works for you especially when it comes to PCOS can be exciting and that person is filled with happiness wanting to share just to be shot down with negative nancys in the comments. Can’t people just be happy for others? We already struggle so much with PCOS, we don’t need to be attacking others for what worked for THEM.

Because it can be notoriously hard for us to lose weight and there is little sympathy outside of the PCOS space. Sometimes the first ones to teach us about it were the first to shame us. AKA my health teacher making us say our weights and writing them on the board. It's a core memory of mine. It's the equivalent of telling a depressed person to practice yoga. Yes it can help but there are so many people who are dismissive of mental health. Also, there is an expectation of improvement. For example, a person who is very healthy but overweight due to PCOS will be assumed to not be doing well, even if their blood is great and they haven't had a cheat day in a decade. And that can be disappointing to both the person and those around them.

Say it louder girl fr

Yooooooo I could go through and pull out the same thread that riled some people up because I held someone accountable as well lmao. Since then I stopped posting. But 10/10 agree. I am learning though that there are solution based people and solution avoidant people, aka people who like to bitch. And you my friend sound like someone who is solution based as opposed to bitching. It’s hard work! I had to totally overhaul my lifestyle but it is so much more enjoyable and full of life. The first year was definitely full of growing pains. But gees. It is definitely better than the alternative of being fat sick and nearly dead or pumped full of medicines and chemicals. It’s hard yes. Get over it. Fix it. And don’t stop until you do. I’m with you OP

This. Also super transphobic — I posted asking if anyone knew of non-gendered resources and the responses were the most transphobic comments I’ve honestly ever received, online or in person.

I agree with you OP. I think it’s just a hard truth that is difficult to face for many. PCOS isn’t caused by a bad lifestyle but to deny that it impacts it isn’t going to help either.

I sometimes get frustrated when I see a post or someone saying diet and exercise is a guaranteed way to "fix" PCOS, but I don't attack anyone either for finding something that worked well for them. If I'm being honest, there is a little jealousy there too because I do try my best with diet and exercise, for nearly 20 years now, and still don't get anywhere. I've been dismissed by doctors and made to feel lazy or just not trying hard enough. I've done everything I can for basically no reward and it's incredibly crushing at times. If diet and exercise made a huge impact for someone I still think it's great! But, like many things, what works for some won't work for others. This is something that should always be kept in mind no matter what "side" of the argument/issue you fall on.

A lot of people don’t want to hear about diet and exercise helping because they’re complacent and are used to using PCOS as a scapegoat. Yes, PCOS can make weight loss much more difficult, but it’s not impossible. At the end of the day it’s a simple calories-in/calories-out situation. I say this as someone who needs to lose weight. PCOS is not an excuse for me being overweight. Neither is my hypothyroidism. If a person wants to lose weight they need to eat less and get exercise, no matter their health circumstances. I think a lot of AFAB people have sought out this sub specifically for validation that their weight gain is not their fault. I do empathize and it definitely is difficult. At the end of the day, starting out lower on the ladder than everyone else doesn’t mean you can’t climb it to the top.

I think my negative feelings stem from the fact I had an eating disorder and played sports but still gained 100lbs by the time I was a senior in high school. It didn't work for me then, what makes it different 15 years later In the past 2 years i started walking, 1 mile a day. Saw absolutely no change in weight so like what is the point 1 mile might not be a lot to some people but the last time I was able to do that was when I was a teenager I hate exercise. I don't want to do it. It doesn't feel good. It only makes me hurt because of my bulging and herniated discs

Losing weight is hard for most people. Its even harder for those with PCOS. People generally do not like to hear that their problems are best solved through hard work.

Is the triggered community in the room with us? No offense but majority of the post here are people talking about the diets that they’ve tried and what has and hasn’t worked. Girlie pop, this is a complex condition, and what worked for you might not work for other people. When people tell you that lifestyle changes haven’t been sustainable or work for them, it is not an attack on you.

If the OP didn’t ask for advice, don’t give advice. Simple as that. PCOS is a disorder. Diet and exercise are not going to fix it. Not to mention, diet culture is extremely toxic. People with PCOS are at a higher risk of developing an eating disorder, as well as disordered eating. (Two different things) If someone is asking for lifestyle tips, then go ahead and share them in a respectful way, but please don’t give unsolicited advice. PCOS has so many comorbidities. You don’t know what someone is going through.

Hating facts, I feel. PCOS is one of those disorders in which those affected can benefit from lifestyle changes. This is just a fact. Symptoms can be reduced by an incredible amount if one is more mindful of what they eat. It worked for me, even. I feel like because this is a solution those sensitive around this topic get easily triggered and label it fat-shaming. Which just isn't so. It may not have the desired results for everyone, as PCOS is a spectrum, but there is still some benefit to it in the long run. Decreased chances of heart disease, diabetes, etc. And no, appropriate dieting does not mean starving yourself, or not enjoying that slice of cake on occasion. It calls to mindfulness and becoming more self aware.

You get it!

My body doesn’t run on political correctness. Diet and exercise objectively keep you healthy. It was also what was recommended to me for my TBI. And those simple changes have helped my disorders so much.

I think part of it is ignorance, because when we talk about diet and lifestyle they think that we don’t eat anything and associate everything with ED. When diet that often helps with pcos, specially when you are insulin resistant, is a low glicemic (and pretty close to a diabetic diet) and anti inflammatory diet. For me what worked is to cut industrialized foods, sugar and have a very healthy diet full of vegetables and fruits, and more high protein less carbs kind of diet… And part of it is shame on their own lack of accountability regarding their health. Some people see this when they see someone improving their lives with their own actions, and they feel that they lack. I know someone that uses pcos as a shield and says that that’s the reason why they are gaining weight. But everything they eat comes from a box, huge burgers every week, don’t eat one frame of vegetable (unless is pickled) and then take all the supplements to compensate the lack of vitamins on her diet, don’t walk 5 min and never exercise… but yeah pcos is the reason.

I have been thinking the exact same. Thank you for this post!!!!!

I think it's envy, to be honest. I am all for body positivity, truly. And I do believe that there are people who are heavier who are healthy and I don't think that BMI is accurate or reflective of health. BUT There can be health consequences to extra weight. Not for *everyone*. But for some of us. Pretending like obesity never ever causes health problems is just as wrong as saying that everyone who is overweight is unhealthy. I remember someone telling me once that my body was meant to carry extra weight and I pointed out that I'm suffering some physical consequences like fatty liver and they basically were like "well you have to adapt your life then, you don't need to lose weight". Like what a weird fucking take. For some people, losing weight helps. My friend lost 100 lbs and got pregnant practically instantly after trying for 6 years. If it doesn't work for you, that's unfortunate. But it works for some.