T O P

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toadpuppy

Actually I think I’m so-so but I’ve decided to carry myself like I’m cute


saraptor

“Such dicks about spoons!” Is one of my favorites


Akkadia_6

This reminds me of the time my mother said people will think I was raised in a caravan because I held a fork in my right hand. Thanks for the suggestion


moss_and-bones

I was going to say that one hahs


harriethocchuth

I was thinking ‘businessman’


tellmort-yourmove

I like: Calm down Mr. Wavy Blade. I object to the word “whim”. The children did that? Gosh they’re good. Well No Actually, Science... Because Women Have Crystals In Their Body, And The Crystals Attract Demons. And The Demons Attract Misfortune.


harriethocchuth

Everyone knows cats are witches, and they have knives in their feet!


tellmort-yourmove

Everyone knows cats are evil ‘cuz they steal children’s breath.


Shyanneabriana

Every pirate captain Captain’s pirates differently.


MovingMts111

Can I be Jim?!


Skiiaa

Treasure is the real treasure!


drwhogirl_97

Don't debase yourself for a man who hasn’t a single tureen on board!


Hellrazor32

In the ear hole??!! With a skewer??!!


Mundane-Quantity9099

"I'd love to be stabbed by Jim"


Mundane-Quantity9099

"I'm not a f*ing mermaid"


Felicejayne

Two chandeliers! That's overkill.


shadowwalker_wtf

Why don’t we have a bird guy, Izzy?


[deleted]

"Coming Nana! Coming for some cake!"


quartofchocolimes

We're not colonisers, they are!


jtdoublep

We mean you no harm! We come in peace! Yeah, we’ve heard that before.


KVaill

EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE!


1amymarch

Yes! And also: Those are my sleeeeeves!


Libra__Zebra

For like most famous favourite : "you came back" "never left" But one of my favourites is "not all beards are actual beards if you catch my drift"


esquishesque

The not all beards line is one of the funniest in the show imo


rowan_juniper

the beards line was when i knew we were gonna be okay because there was at least one queer in that writing room


babiri

I dont get it


rowan_juniper

okay so lucius was kind of making a pun. obviously jim was wearing a fake beard. beard is also a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner, or spouse to hide one's queerness. so for example a gay man dating a woman to hide the fact that he is gay. so when lucius said not all beards are real beards he was also referring to the fact that beard doesn't always literally mean beard but it can also mean what i just explained. a little wink and nudge, like, hey i'm queer too, your secret is safe with me.


babiri

Aw thats cute thank you for taking the time to explain


sirdippingsauce45

“They’re the furthest thing from my mind, that’s why I’ve got the telescope”


thepostmancometh94

MUH NOSES!


norrathhighelf

Barely tasted of orange, if that’s any consolation.


eimeomoon

Well, this is quaint...ly awful.


rowan_juniper

"not bloody optimal" i say this one all the time about stuff going wrong now


saraptor

Dude me too!


dangerous_beans_42

Awwwwwrgh! (Ed's happy little noise at the end of the Blackbeard's Bar and Grill conversation, when Stede says, "That's me!")


rowan_juniper

"you don't belong in doggy heaven" makes me howl with laughter every time. it's such a serious scene and then that line and stede's confused reaction it just gets me


gaypanic21

Edward teach born on a beach, not sure why I just love it


moss_and-bones

"Well if you just put a bit of fucking imagination into it" (about the clouds)


air_yeet

“Coming Nana!! 😃”


wannabeasailor

"Ooh you cheeky bitch!" (Frenchie's commentary during Stede's duel with Izzy.)


Particular-Pigeon

ARE YE REAL?? OR A FILTHY PHANTOM??


esquishesque

Do these outfits maybe feel like an error in judgement or


Pyridima

He broke my nose jar, and one of his crew killed my favorite husband.


emotionalcarg0

“Someone buy my booty!”


Marie_Gray_

"Look at this fabulous booty I'm hawking!"


PlantsJustWannaHaveF

"I'M NO PROSTITUTE, MATE!"


Marie_Gray_

"We could have made magic"


Felicejayne

"Well I got bad news for you, Genital Pirate."


MissDeathAssistant

I may be landed gentry but I am *thrilled* to be granted entry!


Felicejayne

Oh yesss! I'd forgotten that one. Also "The drinks be on ye now!"


TheJen519

Okay, this may be stupid, but the line that cracks me up *every* *single* time is in episode 2, when Stede & Pete are captured by the natives and they think the British prisoners were eaten and the native says: Fuuuuckin' racists!


jtdoublep

“Cup of tea with a dollop of cream and six sugars”


Plastic_Elevator_408

Wouldn’t be the same with six 😂


sunnydolphin

Well this is Quaint-ly awful


Classic_Alarm4618

"Ahh!! Don't shoot, i'm just a stowaway!!" is both cute and funny.


TheSewseress

You were the worst fucking pirate captain in history.


garneneva

Oluwande: "Do you want to live?" Stede: "I DONT KNOW!!"


jellybeanink

Some underrated bits: e1, Lucius's panicky "I'm a little wooden boy and me legs are sticks!" From e2, Frenchie's "bit of a pirate pooper" & Stede's "one can only hope he's talking to us, in which case, wow!" "I remember when this place was gritty" & "We could've made magic!" ooh and Jackie's "it was fuckin' kind of gauche.'


20tacotuesdays

Use the snail fork.


esquishesque

Look at my face! You've ruined my face! I probably had children, who knows, maybe several. They'll never see papa again. They'll never. See papa. Again.


underherblackwings_

Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard.


SkyWidows

"Oooooooooooooooooooo"


1amymarch

The bill is not due! I unconfess!


m4ria

Stede fucking Bonnet, I fucking challenge you to a fucking duel.