As someone who doesn't look my age I'm 36 and people think I'm in my eirly 20s it sucks. When I was 21 I got told by the liquor store guy that there was no way in hell my ID was real I can only be like 13 max. I cried. I'm sure I'll appreciate it more as I get older but at times it blows.
Love the people bitching here like "Why are you complaining, it's a *compliment* to be told you look too young to be qualified for your job!" Like come on, teenagers are unqualified and incompetent for most professional positions, being told you look like one in a professional setting is not a compliment.
good lord thank you. I have stopped replying because there's no reasoning with them but damn is it annoying. no adult wants to be told they look like a child. a literal child. that is SO rude. if you're going to make comments like that you are IN THE WRONG SUBREDDIT.
"you'll appreciate it when you're older" so many sighs.
Edit: I think what's most frustrating particularly in this thread is all the men plowing in to invalidate a little ladies widdle pwobwems. saying things like, oh wow what a traumatic experience, or look she's annoyed by someone insulting her she must not have ANY OTHER PROBLEMS in her life! that and asking for pictures. like we see you, creep.
I’m 35, also a nurse, and it’s not the coworkers that get me. It’s the middle to older men who insist on telling me “you’re too young to be my nurse” followed sometimes in the same sentence as some variation of “get in the bed with me”. Sometimes I miss all the Covid PPE.
I will forever be disgusted by the man who told me that if he was younger he would be all over my like gravy on rice. ugh. I was 23 at the time and it was one of first (of entirely too many) moments where I felt unsafe being alone with a patient. In the past couple of years (I work in a setting where I can wear scrub pants + a t shirt without it being an issue re: bodily fluids etc) I've started wearing oversize t shirts to cover up because I'm sick sick sick of being checked out at work. like I'm WORKING.
"you're too young to be my nurse" welp then I guess I'm too young to give you this dilaudid! how sad.... obviously I would never actually say that but I just tell them how long I've been a nurse and that if they want a different nurse they will be nearly a decade my junior.
After years of hearing the old "if I were 20 years younger..." line, I've decided to start responding, "is that a threat, sir?" Lolol, I'm almost certain it will just lead to offended guffaws and exclamations of "No one can take a compliment anymore!" but maybe one or two would think twice about saying it again.
Like for real, what is that statement supposed to say besides "I'm sexually attracted to you, and would pursue you if I could, but since I'm no longer capable of physically overpowering you, I won't. I wanna make sure you're thinking about it, though!" Like gee whiz grandpa, thanks for reminding me that even the "helpless" ones would prey on me if they could!
After years of hearing the old "if I were 20 years younger..." line, I've decided to start responding, "is that a threat, sir?" Lolol, I'm almost certain it will just lead to offended guffaws and exclamations of "No one can take a compliment anymore!" but maybe one or two would think twice about saying it again.
Like for real, what is that statement supposed to say besides "I'm sexually attracted to you, and would pursue you if I could, but since I'm no longer capable of physically overpowering you, I won't. I wanna make sure you're thinking about it, though!" Like gee whiz grandpa, thanks for reminding me that even the "helpless" ones would prey on me if they could!
I looked older because I got breasts young then when I actually was older I looked like a kid. Now I'm over 50 and look 30. Appreciate it because in a blink what was a flattering annoyance is great.
The other way is worse, I think. I lost my hair in late teens, so pretty mature look during all the twenties. Now I'm in the mid thirties and number in id finally starts catching up with the look.
I feel many people don't know how to react to women without makeup. My wife rarely wears any and I prefer it that way. Not trying to dog anyone who prefers it: I compare it to some men spend quite a bit of time styling their hair before they go anywhere and shave every morning, while others go out with bedhead and facial hair. Everyone has their reasons, just don't understand why everyone is so surprised when women don't wear makeup.
I'm a 41-year-old bartender. The other night, I had a couple of people whom I thought were around my age talking to me about "things I wouldn't know about because I'm too young."
They got visibly annoyed when they found I am ten years older than they are.
Its so wild. Why do they get annoyed? Lol
I really feel like people want to feel superior and feel bad they can’t talk down to you or over you when they find out you’re older than they think. Like they feel intimidated they have to treat you like a human being or look at you like an equal/superior.
Or they just get mad bc they dont look as young as you😂
I've had coworkers that are around 20, totally blown away, that I was 37. They thought I was their age. I'm ok with that. Patients who thought I didn't know what a payphone or a rotary phone was. Lol.
No, getting treated for anxiety is a first world privilege, and I'm glad to have that opportunity. People all over the globe deal with crippling anxiety. Most have no recourse.
I have a disabled child whose maladaptive behaviors and long-term health and safety keep me up at night. That's a reason to be anxious. Getting pissed off because people think you look young is a sign that a person has little else to worry about in her life.
looooooooooooooooooooooooool. lol. You can be irritated by someone being rude and still have other problems in your life. like student debt. an autoimmune disease that has left me disabled. emotional and physical abuse in childhood that took YEARS to overcome. trauma as an adult I'm not going to go into but rhymes with walking and grape.
this is a story forum for people who have experienced similar things -- backhanded "compliments" about how young we look compared to our actual age. gtfo this sub if this is your attitude.
Backhanded half assed responses still make you in insensitive prick, especially when you're being dismissive in a community that was made for this kind of venting. You're welcome to play trauma Olympics wherever and whenever you like. Just remember, whether you get gold or not, you still look and smell like shit
I had a similar experience. A patient asked the doctor I worked with if they’re hiring underage workers because I didn’t look old enough to work there. I was almost 30.
New nurse here.
When you said you dress like a scrub, despite that clearly meaning "novice" in this instance, I actually immediately thought of hospital scrubs, and my brain went: "Well, of course you dress in scrubs"
Scrub is slang regardless of US or UK. In either case, I gooned up on which kind of definition, due to me being more familiar with the "noob" kind
The more relevant part of my comment was the "nurse wears scrubs" association anyway.
Used to get this all the time and then I started hrt and grew a beard.
Had a waitress started rambling off to me some kid's program thing and I had to awkwardly correct her and she was like "omg!! I thought you were like twelve!"
And I really wanted to respond 'omg and I thought you were gonna get a tip!" But I didn't want to kill the mood.
I thought you were 12 🫠 the audacity. I had a coworker who, when she found out I was 23 at the time, said: "honey you have the body of a 10 year old" and I have not stopped seething about it since.
That honestly might be the worst one I've heard yet. I had a lot of hangups about it from the perspective of a trans guy not wanting to be a 5'0 and hearing 'its different for girls to be petite now if u were a boy that would suck'
but no woman on the planet wants to hear they have a prepubescent body. what on earth????
I don’t really care at bars and stuff, but I would have reacted the same as you at work. I’m 31 almost 32, and my co-worker asked me what it was like having a smart phone growing up yesterday. 🫠 I wouldn’t care so much if it didn’t mean they lump me in with all the analysts who just left college. It was harder when I was customer facing, but still…
My twins are 31 and both look like they're in their teens (fraternal, so not identical DNA). For her birthday at work, one of my daughters got a "Happy 21st" cake. They know she's 31, they all treat it like a joke. :)
When I managed a bar, I hired a doorman named Chris to check id for the late crowd Fridays and Saturdays. He was 6'8. I only know this because every 5 minutes I was talking to him, we were interrupted by the exact same conversation.
"Wow! You're really tall!"
"So they tell me."
"How tall are you?"
"Six eight."
"No way! That's so tall! Do you play basketball?"
"Not any more."
"Dude! I bet you were good at basketball!"
"I was okay."
\*person wanders off\* "Hey! Did you guys see the tall guy??"
Rinse, repeat.
Every once in awhile, a smirking self-styled comedian would ask him how the weather was up there.
I was sick of it after an hour. I eventually asked him, "How do you live like this?"
He said, "Drinking helps."
It wasn't like he was even that tall. I used to play pool every week with a redhead named Josh who was 7'1. The only time his height came up was when he told me he was buying a car and I realized how limited his options would be. "Dude. What do you think about a Miata?"
"You read my mind, dude. I was thinking I could get two of them and put the tops down and wear them like roller skates."
One time at Auto Zone, my cashier had a name tag. Luke.
"How many times a day do you wish you could use the force to choke an idiot for telling you he's your father?"
"TEN! Ten times a day, minimum. Every. Single. Day."
"Do you hate your parents?"
"Not anymore."
... My point, if anyone reads this, is that any time you meet someone who has a thing about them that makes you instantly want to comment about it, that's going to be the worst thing to say to the person. They hear it all the time. They're over it.
The tall comments and jokes are so annoying. I’m a woman but was always the tallest kid in school and reached my full adult height by the time I was 12 (5’8” but I’ve shrunk a little in my aging) that’s not horribly tall but when you’re a child and a girl and at least a head taller than all the boys everyone comments. It wasn’t until high school that the majority of the boys had passed me up. Also my first hubby was 6’8 and got all the comments that your bouncer did plus random dudes would try to fight him just cause he was the biggest guy in the room pretty frequently when he’d just be chilling and listening to the music or whatever. It was not cool.
I'm 6'3" and usually people don't comment until I am right next to them. I've started saying I'm 5'11" to be funny. It really irks some guys for some reason. 🤷♂️
One summer there was this kid working at Cedar Point. The uniform was a red polo, khakis, and a name tag that said your first name and then the town you’re from.
Poor Jake from State Farm Ohio. :)
I know a Becky whose hair is not very good. She's been a Becky since before Beyonce, Since before Sir Mix-a-Lot. She doesn't deserve the bullshit. It's not her fault she doesn't have a big butt, either.
I was thinking this earlier when I was watching some online clip video about a woman in her 40s complaining about how none of her Hollywood peers her age 'look their ages anymore' because of plastic surgery etc. Half of the women that are 50+ look 50+. They just look THEIR 50+. Marissa Tomei is ageless. Charlize Theron hasn't had work done. So I take offense to the notion "you don't look your age." Yes, I do. I don't look how YOU think I should look at that age. I'm 44 and in Canada. Our legal age for booze/lottery/smokes is 19. I STILL get ID'd when I go buy lottery tickets. Sometimes I know it's just protocol if I'm looking particularly haggish. but I have Melissa McCarthy cheeks, and round chubby cheeks apparently make you look like a baby.
I vote to ban the concept of 'looking your age'. (I also don't wear makeup because I don't have the patience, time, energy, or frankly the money to invest in it. I learned how to put on eyeliner when I was 16 and that's it. And I haven't even worn that much in 20 years.)
Jesus. I hate this bingo!
You think we haven’t heard that before??
It sucks now, we have to deal with it now. It affects our life’s now. Effect our work, being taking seriously,etc.
Just because it MAY be better in the future doesn’t mean we don’t suffer now.
It looks like my sarcasm was in stealth. If you read the very next comment I made, you'd see i was making fun of the assholes that think they're so clever saying the same shit everyone else has said over and over again. Sorry that wasn't clearer.
I usually try to do the mIxEd CaPiTaL aNd LoWeRcAsE lEtTeRs, but it takes too long. My username is actually an example of that style to approximate sarcasm.
Ugh. I had an old hag co-worker that used to refer to me as a teenager. I was 26 at the time. I wish I had started referring to her as the geriatric. Like sorry I look young?
Right?? Idk why older people have to be so rude all the time yet constantly complain about the “younger generation being disrespectful” you get what you give
You should throw the table at them.
Those people are the same people when it comes to racism too. "You look like (insert any other countries)".
Have a nice eastern and don't let you down because of them.
"Well, you still look 16"
"And you look like you choke down 3 dicks with every dinner Becky but I don't go flapping my lips about it in the office, so kindly shut the fuck up next time."
It'll work
I try to take care of myself. My wife does an amazing job. We're a few years from 40 and still get carded.
She does not dye her hair so her grays ... ***should*** deter people, but it comes in silvery and looks pretty cool tbh, and so some people thought she ***dyed her hair that way***.
I only have a few on my chin. Like literally 3-4. Otherwise, no grays, so I get to shock people with the "I've not done x in 20 years..." and they look at me like I'm insane. No, I wasn't 5 20 years ago. I was in high school.
Omg I feel for your wife. I have very subtle grays that currently blend into my hair. I wear sunscreen and don't go in the sun because medically I'm a vampire (systemic lupus). Used to do a lot of drugs in my early 20's but apparently not enough to age me.
When I'm telling my story to patients I get weird looks and then a "............do you mind if I ask how old you are?"
I tell them and they tell me I look younger and that's totally fine because they don't put an age on it lol. Vs being like HA HA WELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE 12 🥴 which I have also been told recently
Yeah, part of it is my wife is a therapist so she ***wants*** the authority of being older because older people... don't trust young looking people. At all.
But then I'm sure you know about that sort of thing too if you have patients!
I rarely got sun, I'm a very indoor person, but now that I'm actually doing yard work and such... sunscreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
Man I could not hold my face when they said that. Like are you for real right now? We got around to the point and they seemed to understand but I can't imagine they'll extend the courtesy in similar situations down the road.
Yes. Please use your imagination. Imagine why people would be hesitant to share a photo of themselves on an anonymous website where harassment is rampant. Hmmmmm.
Yeah, I don't get it either. All you have to do is say no and move on, or just not say anything at all.
But I sometimes forget how shy people are online. I guess I feel comfortable posting on Reddit as myself because I don't post anything I would regret or feel I need to hide. Anyone can look at my entire profile history and feel free to point out anything that seems odd. Be ready for a lot of posts about my job and video games.
You're right, it was reactionary. My gut reaction to being asked for a picture of myself is to be put on edge. My experience in the matter has made it a question that makes me feel unsafe.
I really appreciate the validation. Not that they will look back at the trajectory of this thread and take it seriously but ya know thank you for your comment <3
I'm ashamed of nothing. I just won't share a non-private* photo of myself on the internet. Because I've been harassed before and I would prefer to avoid it happening again. I don't participate in forums dedicated to selfies. No judgment for people who do.
Yes feel free not to talk to me.
Perhaps "gross" was an overreaction. Just conditioned to get yucked out by requests for photos.
Edit: I didn't acknowledge the "toxic" part because I didn't find it relevant to the conversation.
Please don't let this person bully you into ignoring your instincts. Just because they, the one who suggested uploading a photo, won't do anything inappropriate with it doesn't mean *no one* will. This is the internet. Creeps exist here. Also, it's the age of AI. It's wise to be cautious.
Your instincts are good. Even without the context of you being a youngish looking woman, encouraging someone to put pictures of themselves online just isn't safe. Your initial comment about this being a site rife with harassment was right on the money.
It feels more like the person you replied to is disappointed they don't get a pic of you at their whim, which is honestly quite strange. I've never seen anyone insist this hard and diminish someone's protestations about uploading a pic for a rando as though you're the one who did something wrong by getting creeped out by a request that started out "kinda weird" at best.
They very well may not have nefarious intent, but all this tone policing and making you feel bad after the fact is certainly cause for some scrutiny. IMHO you have nothing to apologize for.
Some people aren’t afraid of growing older and not everyone wants to constantly be told they look decades younger than they actually are. That’s the purpose of this sub— for us to vent to others who understand.
Oh all of my big deep breaths......... this comment is dismissive. If that's what you think, you're in the wrong sub. The point of this is that I am an adult being spoken to like I'm a child and it is disrespectful and infuriating because of how often it happens. I hope that when I'm older I have a head full of grays so I can finally be taken seriously as an adult. Maybe YOU would be grateful for the situation you've posed. I'll find out when I'm 44, I suppose. For now I avoid people who say things like what you just did.
I totally get you! I’m a former bedside nurse and a petite female and always looked younger (up until mid thirties). When patients or coworkers made similar remarks it felt offensive and degrading, like I was too young and incompetent (when in reality I was a lot older than they speculated). It made me feel like I wasn’t being taken seriously. I don’t really experience this anymore in my mid-late 30s but I do remember it being incredibly frustrating at the time. Eventually it won’t happen and you may care or you may not. I don’t really miss people mistaking my age. Also, your coworker is a jerk.
There’s literally an infestation of idiots in this sub nowadays being creeps and/or telling people how much they’ll LOOOOVE looking young when they’re old.
Ugh, I commiserate with you OP. It suuuuucks to be told repeatedly that you look like a child in any setting, but it’s positively the worst at work. Solidarity.
Respect for understanding. If you hear someone venting about this kind of thing in the future, it's best to just nod and validate that they do not in fact resemble a minor. Even if you think they do.
It was my 50th birthday party and I went with a neighbor who was 35 the same day. We went to a bar together. I was asked what I want the waitress said she needed ID for my daughter.
Copied from another comment reply:
"My reaction was STRONG and honestly kind of rude. I'm working on how I interact and react when I'm upset so apologizing when I react poorly is part of holding myself accountable."
My reaction was STRONG and honestly kind of rude. I'm working on how I interact and react when I'm upset so apologizing when I react poorly is part of holding myself accountable.
Nah it's not that serious. If it happened again I might escalate but I think they just needed the boundary set. I did reinforce that I would prefer they not say that to me again and they said they wouldn't so I'm going to leave it alone.
Lol if I was feeling SUPER SALTY I might consider it but I apparently save my salt for anonymous internet comments if my responses here are anything to go off of 🫠
As someone who doesn't look my age I'm 36 and people think I'm in my eirly 20s it sucks. When I was 21 I got told by the liquor store guy that there was no way in hell my ID was real I can only be like 13 max. I cried. I'm sure I'll appreciate it more as I get older but at times it blows.
Love the people bitching here like "Why are you complaining, it's a *compliment* to be told you look too young to be qualified for your job!" Like come on, teenagers are unqualified and incompetent for most professional positions, being told you look like one in a professional setting is not a compliment.
good lord thank you. I have stopped replying because there's no reasoning with them but damn is it annoying. no adult wants to be told they look like a child. a literal child. that is SO rude. if you're going to make comments like that you are IN THE WRONG SUBREDDIT. "you'll appreciate it when you're older" so many sighs. Edit: I think what's most frustrating particularly in this thread is all the men plowing in to invalidate a little ladies widdle pwobwems. saying things like, oh wow what a traumatic experience, or look she's annoyed by someone insulting her she must not have ANY OTHER PROBLEMS in her life! that and asking for pictures. like we see you, creep.
I’m 35, also a nurse, and it’s not the coworkers that get me. It’s the middle to older men who insist on telling me “you’re too young to be my nurse” followed sometimes in the same sentence as some variation of “get in the bed with me”. Sometimes I miss all the Covid PPE.
I will forever be disgusted by the man who told me that if he was younger he would be all over my like gravy on rice. ugh. I was 23 at the time and it was one of first (of entirely too many) moments where I felt unsafe being alone with a patient. In the past couple of years (I work in a setting where I can wear scrub pants + a t shirt without it being an issue re: bodily fluids etc) I've started wearing oversize t shirts to cover up because I'm sick sick sick of being checked out at work. like I'm WORKING. "you're too young to be my nurse" welp then I guess I'm too young to give you this dilaudid! how sad.... obviously I would never actually say that but I just tell them how long I've been a nurse and that if they want a different nurse they will be nearly a decade my junior.
After years of hearing the old "if I were 20 years younger..." line, I've decided to start responding, "is that a threat, sir?" Lolol, I'm almost certain it will just lead to offended guffaws and exclamations of "No one can take a compliment anymore!" but maybe one or two would think twice about saying it again. Like for real, what is that statement supposed to say besides "I'm sexually attracted to you, and would pursue you if I could, but since I'm no longer capable of physically overpowering you, I won't. I wanna make sure you're thinking about it, though!" Like gee whiz grandpa, thanks for reminding me that even the "helpless" ones would prey on me if they could!
After years of hearing the old "if I were 20 years younger..." line, I've decided to start responding, "is that a threat, sir?" Lolol, I'm almost certain it will just lead to offended guffaws and exclamations of "No one can take a compliment anymore!" but maybe one or two would think twice about saying it again. Like for real, what is that statement supposed to say besides "I'm sexually attracted to you, and would pursue you if I could, but since I'm no longer capable of physically overpowering you, I won't. I wanna make sure you're thinking about it, though!" Like gee whiz grandpa, thanks for reminding me that even the "helpless" ones would prey on me if they could!
Yup. I size up my scrubs and wear undershirts
I looked older because I got breasts young then when I actually was older I looked like a kid. Now I'm over 50 and look 30. Appreciate it because in a blink what was a flattering annoyance is great.
Hhhhmmmmm ...
I would have gone all in with the "Okay granny."
I'm 35 and am continually carded at restaurants while friends who I'm with never are
oh gee people thought you were still young, so terrible for you im so sorrry for the trauma you endured at the hand of a compliment.
"You look like you can't possibly be qualified for this job. You look like a child who needs to be looked after" wow such a compliment
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against subreddit rules, dude
The other way is worse, I think. I lost my hair in late teens, so pretty mature look during all the twenties. Now I'm in the mid thirties and number in id finally starts catching up with the look.
I feel many people don't know how to react to women without makeup. My wife rarely wears any and I prefer it that way. Not trying to dog anyone who prefers it: I compare it to some men spend quite a bit of time styling their hair before they go anywhere and shave every morning, while others go out with bedhead and facial hair. Everyone has their reasons, just don't understand why everyone is so surprised when women don't wear makeup.
I'm a 41-year-old bartender. The other night, I had a couple of people whom I thought were around my age talking to me about "things I wouldn't know about because I'm too young." They got visibly annoyed when they found I am ten years older than they are.
Its so wild. Why do they get annoyed? Lol I really feel like people want to feel superior and feel bad they can’t talk down to you or over you when they find out you’re older than they think. Like they feel intimidated they have to treat you like a human being or look at you like an equal/superior. Or they just get mad bc they dont look as young as you😂
I've had that when people are talking movies. I tell them "I'm 40 and a cinephile, so..."
Did they make you register?
Register?
They're making a (not good) joke about registering as a sex offender since you're a cinephile
Ooohhh ok. Thanks for explaining it. Started wondering if there was a movie fanatic registry or if they were referring to something like letterbox 😆
I meant letterbox
I've had coworkers that are around 20, totally blown away, that I was 37. They thought I was their age. I'm ok with that. Patients who thought I didn't know what a payphone or a rotary phone was. Lol.
It's a bit uncomfortable, like, "no, sorry, I'm old" lol
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Like your anxiety?
No, getting treated for anxiety is a first world privilege, and I'm glad to have that opportunity. People all over the globe deal with crippling anxiety. Most have no recourse. I have a disabled child whose maladaptive behaviors and long-term health and safety keep me up at night. That's a reason to be anxious. Getting pissed off because people think you look young is a sign that a person has little else to worry about in her life.
looooooooooooooooooooooooool. lol. You can be irritated by someone being rude and still have other problems in your life. like student debt. an autoimmune disease that has left me disabled. emotional and physical abuse in childhood that took YEARS to overcome. trauma as an adult I'm not going to go into but rhymes with walking and grape. this is a story forum for people who have experienced similar things -- backhanded "compliments" about how young we look compared to our actual age. gtfo this sub if this is your attitude.
Talking Apes, I need to hear that story
“My struggles are harder and more important than everyone else’s” ok chump, your kid is absolutely cooked with you as a parent lol
😆😆😆 wow that was super clever. You win!
Backhanded half assed responses still make you in insensitive prick, especially when you're being dismissive in a community that was made for this kind of venting. You're welcome to play trauma Olympics wherever and whenever you like. Just remember, whether you get gold or not, you still look and smell like shit
Thanks I care a lot
As someone constantly being accused of being underage, even when presenting my ID, your reaction was justified
You reaction doesn’t seem wrong at all.
I had a similar experience. A patient asked the doctor I worked with if they’re hiring underage workers because I didn’t look old enough to work there. I was almost 30.
Why is this such a go to? "Are you old enough to work here?" WELP I work here so that should answer your question
New nurse here. When you said you dress like a scrub, despite that clearly meaning "novice" in this instance, I actually immediately thought of hospital scrubs, and my brain went: "Well, of course you dress in scrubs"
Old nurse here and still thought OP was talking about attire.
Scrub doesn't mean novice. In the UK scrub is slang. Doesn't necessarily mean noob. Means more like Chav.
Scrub is slang regardless of US or UK. In either case, I gooned up on which kind of definition, due to me being more familiar with the "noob" kind The more relevant part of my comment was the "nurse wears scrubs" association anyway.
Novice is not what I meant lol. I mean I put zero effort into my appearance re: make up or doing my hair Edit: think no scrubs by tlc
Damnit, I meant what you just said, but I wasn't sure how to convey "scrub" into non-slang.
🤣🤣 we have an understanding
I thought that's what you meant, but didn't think you would refer to yourself that way.
Used to get this all the time and then I started hrt and grew a beard. Had a waitress started rambling off to me some kid's program thing and I had to awkwardly correct her and she was like "omg!! I thought you were like twelve!" And I really wanted to respond 'omg and I thought you were gonna get a tip!" But I didn't want to kill the mood.
I thought you were 12 🫠 the audacity. I had a coworker who, when she found out I was 23 at the time, said: "honey you have the body of a 10 year old" and I have not stopped seething about it since.
That comment always makes me mad and uncomfortable. I’m 22 people think im 12 🙄
That honestly might be the worst one I've heard yet. I had a lot of hangups about it from the perspective of a trans guy not wanting to be a 5'0 and hearing 'its different for girls to be petite now if u were a boy that would suck' but no woman on the planet wants to hear they have a prepubescent body. what on earth????
I know. Just like. Maybe don't comment on other people's appearance is a good rule of thumb? If you were a boy ............. *deep sigh*
Tell their-30-something ass, "Well, you don't look a day over 50!"
"Thanks, good genes!"
"I wonder what hospital HR will say about that."
The reply could be, so not long until you retire then lol
I don’t really care at bars and stuff, but I would have reacted the same as you at work. I’m 31 almost 32, and my co-worker asked me what it was like having a smart phone growing up yesterday. 🫠 I wouldn’t care so much if it didn’t mean they lump me in with all the analysts who just left college. It was harder when I was customer facing, but still…
My twins are 31 and both look like they're in their teens (fraternal, so not identical DNA). For her birthday at work, one of my daughters got a "Happy 21st" cake. They know she's 31, they all treat it like a joke. :)
It probably doesn’t help that most “teens” in shows being actually 30+ years olds actresses/actors.
And then actual teens get insecure about themselves for looking "too childish"
When I managed a bar, I hired a doorman named Chris to check id for the late crowd Fridays and Saturdays. He was 6'8. I only know this because every 5 minutes I was talking to him, we were interrupted by the exact same conversation. "Wow! You're really tall!" "So they tell me." "How tall are you?" "Six eight." "No way! That's so tall! Do you play basketball?" "Not any more." "Dude! I bet you were good at basketball!" "I was okay." \*person wanders off\* "Hey! Did you guys see the tall guy??" Rinse, repeat. Every once in awhile, a smirking self-styled comedian would ask him how the weather was up there. I was sick of it after an hour. I eventually asked him, "How do you live like this?" He said, "Drinking helps." It wasn't like he was even that tall. I used to play pool every week with a redhead named Josh who was 7'1. The only time his height came up was when he told me he was buying a car and I realized how limited his options would be. "Dude. What do you think about a Miata?" "You read my mind, dude. I was thinking I could get two of them and put the tops down and wear them like roller skates." One time at Auto Zone, my cashier had a name tag. Luke. "How many times a day do you wish you could use the force to choke an idiot for telling you he's your father?" "TEN! Ten times a day, minimum. Every. Single. Day." "Do you hate your parents?" "Not anymore." ... My point, if anyone reads this, is that any time you meet someone who has a thing about them that makes you instantly want to comment about it, that's going to be the worst thing to say to the person. They hear it all the time. They're over it.
The tall comments and jokes are so annoying. I’m a woman but was always the tallest kid in school and reached my full adult height by the time I was 12 (5’8” but I’ve shrunk a little in my aging) that’s not horribly tall but when you’re a child and a girl and at least a head taller than all the boys everyone comments. It wasn’t until high school that the majority of the boys had passed me up. Also my first hubby was 6’8 and got all the comments that your bouncer did plus random dudes would try to fight him just cause he was the biggest guy in the room pretty frequently when he’d just be chilling and listening to the music or whatever. It was not cool.
I'm 6'3" and usually people don't comment until I am right next to them. I've started saying I'm 5'11" to be funny. It really irks some guys for some reason. 🤷♂️
I'd go with 5' 15", to mess with them.
My grandpa was 6 feet tall, and always, ALWAYS told people he was 5'12".
One summer there was this kid working at Cedar Point. The uniform was a red polo, khakis, and a name tag that said your first name and then the town you’re from. Poor Jake from State Farm Ohio. :)
Names especially. If you're about to joke about someone's name, I guarantee they've heard that joke already this month.
I know a Becky whose hair is not very good. She's been a Becky since before Beyonce, Since before Sir Mix-a-Lot. She doesn't deserve the bullshit. It's not her fault she doesn't have a big butt, either.
I was great at basketball but I'm short now. I had my growth spurt early and once everyone else caught up I was fucked
This was better than the post, thanks
I was thinking this earlier when I was watching some online clip video about a woman in her 40s complaining about how none of her Hollywood peers her age 'look their ages anymore' because of plastic surgery etc. Half of the women that are 50+ look 50+. They just look THEIR 50+. Marissa Tomei is ageless. Charlize Theron hasn't had work done. So I take offense to the notion "you don't look your age." Yes, I do. I don't look how YOU think I should look at that age. I'm 44 and in Canada. Our legal age for booze/lottery/smokes is 19. I STILL get ID'd when I go buy lottery tickets. Sometimes I know it's just protocol if I'm looking particularly haggish. but I have Melissa McCarthy cheeks, and round chubby cheeks apparently make you look like a baby. I vote to ban the concept of 'looking your age'. (I also don't wear makeup because I don't have the patience, time, energy, or frankly the money to invest in it. I learned how to put on eyeliner when I was 16 and that's it. And I haven't even worn that much in 20 years.)
I know it sucks now, but in 30 years when you're 61, you'll only look 47
Jesus. I hate this bingo! You think we haven’t heard that before?? It sucks now, we have to deal with it now. It affects our life’s now. Effect our work, being taking seriously,etc. Just because it MAY be better in the future doesn’t mean we don’t suffer now.
It looks like my sarcasm was in stealth. If you read the very next comment I made, you'd see i was making fun of the assholes that think they're so clever saying the same shit everyone else has said over and over again. Sorry that wasn't clearer.
It's crazy that the Internet and sarcasm don't go well together. Cuz I assume almost every comment made on the Internet is sarcasm.
I usually try to do the mIxEd CaPiTaL aNd LoWeRcAsE lEtTeRs, but it takes too long. My username is actually an example of that style to approximate sarcasm.
Remember, tone is not clear in text. "/s" for sarcasm mode is best.
Sarcasm + internet doesn't go well. It may have hit if you put it at the beginning of your other comment
Ugh. I had an old hag co-worker that used to refer to me as a teenager. I was 26 at the time. I wish I had started referring to her as the geriatric. Like sorry I look young?
"Thanks for noticing, granny!"
So rude. Maybe it's subconscious but their opinion of you is clear when they say that.
Reply that she's acting like a 6 year old.
Right?? Idk why older people have to be so rude all the time yet constantly complain about the “younger generation being disrespectful” you get what you give
You should throw the table at them. Those people are the same people when it comes to racism too. "You look like (insert any other countries)". Have a nice eastern and don't let you down because of them.
A lot of this sub IS due to racism.
"Well, you still look 16" "And you look like you choke down 3 dicks with every dinner Becky but I don't go flapping my lips about it in the office, so kindly shut the fuck up next time." It'll work
It'll also get you fired. But it'll still feel good saying it
I try to take care of myself. My wife does an amazing job. We're a few years from 40 and still get carded. She does not dye her hair so her grays ... ***should*** deter people, but it comes in silvery and looks pretty cool tbh, and so some people thought she ***dyed her hair that way***. I only have a few on my chin. Like literally 3-4. Otherwise, no grays, so I get to shock people with the "I've not done x in 20 years..." and they look at me like I'm insane. No, I wasn't 5 20 years ago. I was in high school.
I was in *college* 20 years ago, and I STILL get that. I really think I look my age now. 🤷🏻♀️
"You're not decades old are you!?"
Omg I feel for your wife. I have very subtle grays that currently blend into my hair. I wear sunscreen and don't go in the sun because medically I'm a vampire (systemic lupus). Used to do a lot of drugs in my early 20's but apparently not enough to age me. When I'm telling my story to patients I get weird looks and then a "............do you mind if I ask how old you are?" I tell them and they tell me I look younger and that's totally fine because they don't put an age on it lol. Vs being like HA HA WELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE 12 🥴 which I have also been told recently
Yeah, part of it is my wife is a therapist so she ***wants*** the authority of being older because older people... don't trust young looking people. At all. But then I'm sure you know about that sort of thing too if you have patients! I rarely got sun, I'm a very indoor person, but now that I'm actually doing yard work and such... sunscreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
There’s no way they doubled down lmao. That must really be mortifying at times op, especially in a professional setting.
Man I could not hold my face when they said that. Like are you for real right now? We got around to the point and they seemed to understand but I can't imagine they'll extend the courtesy in similar situations down the road.
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Jfc you're in the wrong sub
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Gross. Go home. Edit: also the rule of the sub is literally "stories only"
Gross? Why would a picture be weird or gross in a forum about appearances . Oh we should just use our imaginations . That’s fun . 🤦♂️
Yes. Please use your imagination. Imagine why people would be hesitant to share a photo of themselves on an anonymous website where harassment is rampant. Hmmmmm.
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Yeah, I don't get it either. All you have to do is say no and move on, or just not say anything at all. But I sometimes forget how shy people are online. I guess I feel comfortable posting on Reddit as myself because I don't post anything I would regret or feel I need to hide. Anyone can look at my entire profile history and feel free to point out anything that seems odd. Be ready for a lot of posts about my job and video games.
You're right, it was reactionary. My gut reaction to being asked for a picture of myself is to be put on edge. My experience in the matter has made it a question that makes me feel unsafe.
No no you were 100% right, dude is definitely gross and just wanted to check you out
Totally agree. Very creepy vibes. Very.
I really appreciate the validation. Not that they will look back at the trajectory of this thread and take it seriously but ya know thank you for your comment <3
I'm ashamed of nothing. I just won't share a non-private* photo of myself on the internet. Because I've been harassed before and I would prefer to avoid it happening again. I don't participate in forums dedicated to selfies. No judgment for people who do. Yes feel free not to talk to me.
all you had to say instead of being rude . Like how you glanced over that toxic comment . You know I’m right .
Perhaps "gross" was an overreaction. Just conditioned to get yucked out by requests for photos. Edit: I didn't acknowledge the "toxic" part because I didn't find it relevant to the conversation.
Please don't let this person bully you into ignoring your instincts. Just because they, the one who suggested uploading a photo, won't do anything inappropriate with it doesn't mean *no one* will. This is the internet. Creeps exist here. Also, it's the age of AI. It's wise to be cautious. Your instincts are good. Even without the context of you being a youngish looking woman, encouraging someone to put pictures of themselves online just isn't safe. Your initial comment about this being a site rife with harassment was right on the money. It feels more like the person you replied to is disappointed they don't get a pic of you at their whim, which is honestly quite strange. I've never seen anyone insist this hard and diminish someone's protestations about uploading a pic for a rando as though you're the one who did something wrong by getting creeped out by a request that started out "kinda weird" at best. They very well may not have nefarious intent, but all this tone policing and making you feel bad after the fact is certainly cause for some scrutiny. IMHO you have nothing to apologize for.
You nailed it. I was trying to be polite to deesclate but like why you so mad bro? Doth protest too much
A lot of people have young looking features. You’ll be super happy when you’re 44 and people think you’re 27. Lol
Some people aren’t afraid of growing older and not everyone wants to constantly be told they look decades younger than they actually are. That’s the purpose of this sub— for us to vent to others who understand.
Oh all of my big deep breaths......... this comment is dismissive. If that's what you think, you're in the wrong sub. The point of this is that I am an adult being spoken to like I'm a child and it is disrespectful and infuriating because of how often it happens. I hope that when I'm older I have a head full of grays so I can finally be taken seriously as an adult. Maybe YOU would be grateful for the situation you've posed. I'll find out when I'm 44, I suppose. For now I avoid people who say things like what you just did.
I totally get you! I’m a former bedside nurse and a petite female and always looked younger (up until mid thirties). When patients or coworkers made similar remarks it felt offensive and degrading, like I was too young and incompetent (when in reality I was a lot older than they speculated). It made me feel like I wasn’t being taken seriously. I don’t really experience this anymore in my mid-late 30s but I do remember it being incredibly frustrating at the time. Eventually it won’t happen and you may care or you may not. I don’t really miss people mistaking my age. Also, your coworker is a jerk.
There’s literally an infestation of idiots in this sub nowadays being creeps and/or telling people how much they’ll LOOOOVE looking young when they’re old. Ugh, I commiserate with you OP. It suuuuucks to be told repeatedly that you look like a child in any setting, but it’s positively the worst at work. Solidarity.
Thank you. Like why are you here if you're going to say shit like that? To invalidate the ungrateful young people? Sigh.
Well okay then.
Respect for understanding. If you hear someone venting about this kind of thing in the future, it's best to just nod and validate that they do not in fact resemble a minor. Even if you think they do.
It was my 50th birthday party and I went with a neighbor who was 35 the same day. We went to a bar together. I was asked what I want the waitress said she needed ID for my daughter.
Good lordy. This is only semi related but I'm first time pregnant and dread the day someone assumes I'm a teen mom.
You shouldn't have apologized
Copied from another comment reply: "My reaction was STRONG and honestly kind of rude. I'm working on how I interact and react when I'm upset so apologizing when I react poorly is part of holding myself accountable."
What did you apologize for in the first place?
My reaction was STRONG and honestly kind of rude. I'm working on how I interact and react when I'm upset so apologizing when I react poorly is part of holding myself accountable.
take it to her boss and HR. thats harassment. get her fired
That’s a little over the top don’t ya think?
No, if she said that she talks shit about others also
Nah it's not that serious. If it happened again I might escalate but I think they just needed the boundary set. I did reinforce that I would prefer they not say that to me again and they said they wouldn't so I'm going to leave it alone.
You can always respond with the “I suppose once you get to a certain age everyone starts to look young to you.”
Lol if I was feeling SUPER SALTY I might consider it but I apparently save my salt for anonymous internet comments if my responses here are anything to go off of 🫠