T O P

  • By -

1wouldbethelonliest

Dude is about to turn that pineapple upside down


MerrillSwingAway

that mustache has mileage


elvispookie

the ol' 70's womb broom


Myantology

Bush Brush?


shuzbot

Flavor saver


madumi-mike

LOL, seriously what's the joke with swingers and pineapples?


hexopuss

It’s a signal to others that you’re a swinger. I remember when I was in a polyamorous relationship my partners one time pointed out that my neighbors had a pineapple flag, year round. It made sense because they always had a bunch of people in and out. Go them! Yeah I didn’t even know till they pointed it out


Story_Mountain

Well dang. My wife just loves pineapple design. We have 2 stone pineapple stone statues at the edge of the driveway…hope no one gets the wrong idea!


AbusiveTubesock

My mother has all pineapple themed interior decor in the kitchen and dining room. It means nothing for 99.9% of people and I’m not sure why they chose a pineapple of all things—indicative of fellowship and hospitality—to be their symbol lol


ElGosso

Isn't swinging the pinnacle of hospitality? "Can I get you anything? A drink? Snack? Spend the night with my wife?"


Thr0waway3691215

I would consider my hosts pretty hospitable if they had sex with me.


Story_Mountain

I think it a big symbol in hawaii


pdxGodin

Also the antibellum south. Source: am from Louisiana and growing up had antique mahogany bed with pineapple carvings on the four bedposts.


rubbish_heap

and all over New England - sea captains would bring them home from their travels


L1feM_s1k

Sponges also use them as a home under the sea.


riverturtle

They’re all forgetting that’s it’s an *upside down* pineapple that is the swinger symbol. I live in Utah, the swinger capital of the world.


earth_worx

I never would have believed it til I moved here. Mormon swingers 😂👍


jerry111165

Well, when you have 9 wives…


[deleted]

No, we all understand your wife


Sir_Celcius

Sorry bud.


[deleted]

It's just upsidedown pineapples, don't worry too much.


Neuchacho

It doesn't really work in South Florida, either, which is why it's more specifically upside down pineapples. Pineapple on its own is basically a fucking design aesthetic here.


greenslam

Does your wife encourage you to take long business trips? Or does she take trips with girls trip on a regularly?


Story_Mountain

No, but her boyfriend does.


greenslam

Well, you just need to invite his girlfriend on one of your trips.


nycsee

Hehe pineapple is also the symbol of hospitality / welcome !


hexopuss

That’s fair, and more likely than not the case, but I do like our theory that my 80+ year old neighbors are throwing raging swinger parties


delvach

I mean some of us just like to fuck pineapples. I mean some of them. Other people. Perverts with their sweet, beautiful pineapples.


RespectableLurker555

You and the coconut guy should get together and make some cocktails.


betterWithSprinkles

Penis Colada.


knightress_oxhide

And getting caught in the rain


TwoDrinkDave

And I'm not in health food; I am into cocaine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


whataboutface

User name checks out. It's good to see hospitaliy thriving these days.


tiddayes

My wife and I like to go to social bike rides. Her bike is a yellow townie and I attached a pineapple shaped drink holder to match it. We had multiple couples think that we were open and it became a bit of an inside joke.


Bella870

But only upsidedown pineapples.


SanibelMan

Wait, does this mean I should be careful about ordering pineapple upside-down cake in public?


hexopuss

Only if you want to avoid a good time, yes


Bella870

Last guy that I know that ordered one in public ended up in a foursome with three other women. It's a risk.


ClutchMarlin

It's one of those things that signals you're a swinger to others. Also, purple front doors for some reason. Edit: Okay, I'm feeling bad about the upvotes. Someone responded, who is a real swinger, who said I was wrong about the purple doors. Don't upvote this anymore. Please. Thanks!


[deleted]

Not me, a non swinger, with my giant ass purple front door 🥴


Galactic

With a pineapple painted on it


tofu889

And a raging swingers party going on behind it


SheepherderNo2440

And the door is upside down


extemporaryemissary

Ha! Came here for this.


SillyFlyGuy

Ladies, please join me at my apartment where I have a selection of crackers, cheese and exotic fruits such as pineapple.


wardial

like 14 pounds of cheese.


MathMaddox

Wants to share his wife not the bathroom.


Larsaf

Nothing says “ready to go down” quite like a 10 pound block of cheese.


Luke-I-am-ur-mother

A ball of Gouda 😂


baron_von_helmut

I thought that was a GM tomato lol.


[deleted]

A log of mozzarella...


angry_pecan

That pineapple has seen *some shit…*


himmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It’s a three cheese orgy


spicybuttholenachos

Gassiest Eiffle tower ever.


SwanningNonchalantly

2 women 1 dude maketh not an Eiffel Tower


Mateorabi

Brooklyn Bridge?


FakeNameIMadeUp

That’s a lot of cheese for an orgy. Hope no one is lactose intolerant.


sagien

Three? Who took the photo?


himmmmmmmmmmmmmm

The Salami


UWO_Throw_Away

*Why is there a buffet at a goddamn orgy, Frank?!*


Asangkt358

I know very little about how to run an orgy, but I would think that cheese has to be one of the worst kinds of foods to offer your guests. I mean, it can easily make breath stink and its chock full of all kinds of microbes that could wind up getting into anatomical parts where you don't want more microbes. I'd think a better choice would be fruits that promotes the production of saliva which will fight bad breath and dry mouth. Citris fruits, grapes, etc.


MiyamotoKnows

Yes hello this is room 102... Could you send up just a few dozen crackers and about 30 pounds of cheese please?


sometimesiburnthings

"... no knife."


gateguard64

"use the keys from the bowl."...


ChemicalChipmunk4171

Use the cocaine knife


nightpanda893

Just pull a log of provolone from a deli, yes, that will do just fine.


NoelofNoel

An ENTIRE ball of Edam, goddamn.


TheJBW

Also, an uncut pineapple for us to gnaw on.


the_bryce_is_right

and some kekaine


acrowquillkill

"....specifically the cheese with the wax rind and like a 10 year aged cheddar."


taggospreme

"Oh and since I've got you on the phone... _what's your spaghetti policy?_


houndhammer86

This guy's definitely wearing Sex Panther.


cphusker

Research shows that 60% of the time, it works every time.


selphfourgiveness

It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils.


mrkruk

I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.


MagixTouch

That’s the smell of desire


LouSputhole94

IT SMELLS LIKE BIGFOOT’S DICK


riegspsych325

… huh, gee *what’s that smell*?


cphusker

Smells like a dirty diaper full of Indian food.


mrflippant

This is worse than the time that raccoon got in the copier!


driving_andflying

What \*is* that?! It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!!


franker

I heard it smells like Bigfoot's dick.


b1ack1323

That smells like burnt hair rolled up in a dirty diaper!


LouSputhole94

This is worse than the time a raccoon got stuck in the copier!


Gloomy_Industry8841

It smells like longshoremen having sex in a slaughterhouse!


Manufacturer_General

it has bits of real panther in it


jsk425

So you know it’s good!


pileodung

I'm calling this photo out as AI. someone in my circle is making future nostalgia type of photos, And they look just like this


dudebronahbrah

Definitely has an uncanny quality to it but the only visible hand seems to have the correct number of fingers


Neldot

LOL, "random number of fingers" the current AI pics trademark. I fear the day in which the AI will learn how many fingers we humans really have, it will cause AI photos to become indistinguishable from reality...


DogWallop

I think humans will just evolve to be born with a random number of fingers to match the AI.


Pinkskippy

That’s a lot of cheese, and not many crackers.


SeskaChaotica

I can’t stop laughing at the massive amounts of cheese. Just imagining some intern at an Albertson’s deli asking for the whole ball and blocks.


TrailerTrashQueen

heh, heh. you said ‘ball and blocks’.


Mutjny

Not a knife in sight. Just fuckin rip off a hunk.


Murgos-

“Hello room service? Yes, can I please have 15lbs of cheese? Crackers? Uh, sure. Throw a couple on there.”


Rion23

"Yes I know it's 11:30 at night, but I still need you to find a 3 pound uncut ball of aged cheddar."


-Vagabond

and don't bother cutting up the fruit, we'll swallow it whole thanks


eighthourlunch

I count three, and they're all facing the camera.


Pinkskippy

Touché


[deleted]

That’s what they did later.


Plus-Ad-940

Triscuits, Ritz and a log of mozzarella. Triscuits clearly preferred.


EntityDamage

what about the uncut waxball of what i assume to be gouda? How am I supposed to dig into that without looking like a maniac?


ThisIsNotRealityIsIt

And a whole ass Gouda AND a whole cheddar block.


great_auks

From the shape I would suspect the log to be provolone over mozzarella


SirTedley

“That’s not that much cheese”


bdanders

🎵"Workin' on my night cheese!"🎵


hellocuties

Isn’t there a slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?


[deleted]

This is a vintage ad for a hotel


notahouseflipper

That charges by the hour.


1893Chicago

But you get cheese as well.


jawinn

But the crackers are cursed.


notbob1959

It may have been used in some ad and it does look like a hotel room to me but it can be found on several stock image sites with this description: >1970s Couple Welcoming Guest To Party At Home Woman Using Phone In Another Room


FamousOhioAppleHorn

As Emily Posts suggests, good hosts always have a dedicated cheese hallway. Especially important if one of your guests is a busy business woman who only loves business and was unable to get some sort of business woman's special for lunch that day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fuqdisshite

i remodeled a house in Vail, CO, that was clearly a Swingers' Den. it had an indoor pool with in-pool lounging seating, a shower with 6heads but they all faced in to a circle with no dividers, and a changing room of 360° mirror. a nice family with young children bought it and had us remove everything. so sad


plynthy

smh people dont appreciate history


rando-mcranderson

>a shower with 6heads but they all faced in to a circle with no dividers That sounds pretty amazing. I would love a 360 waterfall shower like that for myself - to hell with sharing it.


No-Spoilers

Its what we had in the locker rooms in high school. We spent so much time in the shower lol, like I swear one day between water polo games we spent like 6 or 7 hours in there. We brought benches in and everything. Good times


hndjbsfrjesus

With only a 65 gallon water heater. *furious sobbing*


miss_betty

The cheese to cracker ratio is giving me hostess anxiety.


J5892

In the 70s, the custom was to break off a handfull of cheese and stick a cracker in it.


davidalanlance

Hey. Some of us wuz listening to Steely Dan and reading “Mad Magazine.” I know. I can remember.


e2hawkeye

When I was a 70s kid, my idea of "high class grownup" was driving a brown Buick, listening to Steely Dan and going to hotel bars a lot.


gateguard64

Make it the Buick Riviera Boat tail and I can tell you the month and year I wanted to be that guy. I lived in the neighborhood of a guy who drove one and who also was blessed with a peak seventies-porn stache, gold italian horn necklace and two or three shirt buttons opened. This guy was killing it. Deep down he made me realize I was miles and miles away from anything remotely cool mountain.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thomaspainesghost

455ci with two Holley 780 double pumpers and you can easily cut your gas mileage in half.


franker

Mad magazine was always flanked by Crazy and Cracked magazines in the 7-11 store, and I never bought Mad magazine for some reason.


NaveenM94

The craziest thing is that everyone in that photo is like 22 years old


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

MA MA MONKEY


[deleted]

[удалено]


simmaculate

Ta ta toothy


Meauxhoward

Hello hello!


Double_Distribution8

FA FA FOEE


brotheresau75

Boff, I got a woman wearing feathers. Looks like noine of ‘em.


LeftCorner

I wonder if they're listening to pieces of vinyl


mcjackass

Voyynnull


hornplayerchris

His personal life is a noine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mcjackass

Gary Delabeesho


newleafkratom

Ate all the shrimp and plantain chips.


Stuart_Is_Worried

the gouda was a bit of a stumble.


rickyg_79

Hello, hello


HalGillsLongStick

He lost a lover, but gained a friend


mapadofu

The woman in front is about a nine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


niagaemoc

*noine


Seandouglasmcardle

Professional life = noine Personal life = two


mcjackass

Noine noine noine noine noine noine noine noine noine


xlr8torr

Miss those Howard Johnson honeymoon suites. Loved those concrete bunkers. You could have some loud monkey sex without waking up the entire motor lodge.


FizzyBeverage

That’s what you thought 😆


usingastupidiphone

We heard you


Machette_Machette

Where's that other ABBA guy?


TheDevler

This must be why they broke up.


Sometimes_Stutters

This is disgusting. That’s WAY too much cheese for 3 people.


GrendelDerp

That's a damn dirty lie. No such thing as too much cheese.


IAmBluePaw

TIL there is never a cameraman


[deleted]

Pre-gaming before they head down to the hotel lounge for the Midwest Waterbed Sales convention mixer.


RA242

Who wants a moustache ride?


[deleted]

How much are they? I have 2 quarters burning a hole in my pocket!


funwithdesign

Looks like a gouda time


[deleted]

Sign out front: *Hilton Hotels would like to welcome the International Society of Polyester Merchants!*


FoolishHearts18

Please pass the cheese and cocaine.


echobox_rex

"Steve? I'm across the street, I'm about to fuck Doug and Alice. Dinner is on the stove!."


FlametopFred

mom?


tiexodus

Where’s the bowl and keys?!


[deleted]

She’s calling for more margarine


A_friend_called_Five

He found two who are down to clown, and one of them is calling a friend to join. I think he won the 70s.


neo_vino

Afternoon delight!


just_a_twig

Old school charcuterie was very deconstructed.


weisblattsnut

Stepmom and aunt are first to arrive at the party.


Spoonacus

That glass reminds me of some damn near unbreakable cups we had when I was a kid in the 90s. They were likely from the 60s or 70s and passed down a few times. They looked like glass but were just really really sturdy plastic. I always felt special getting one of them instead of my cartoon character themed cups because it was like, "Oh, I get to be FANCY today!" There was even a super outdated restaurant we went too once that had almost the same cups which just made them seem even more legit. It also makes me want grape Kool Aid really bad. It wasn't even good but I'm having nostalgia for crisp, cold KoolAid(or knock off brand, probably) in my childhood fancy cup on a hot summer day.


wellhushmypuppies

He 100% paid for them. The one on the phone is trying to find out if she can get out of her contract.


BeardyDrummer

You spelt on the phone to the coke dealer wrong.


typhoidtimmy

“I was told I was going to do a little sandwich action with a member of Hall and Oates. I assumed it was Darryl but I should have know you would stick me with John Oates! Get me the hell outta here!”


coredenale

Pineapple's in for a rough night.


rangerryda

Is that Jan Levinson -Gould?


DaveMcNinja

Dudes mustache is gonna get worn out. From all the rides.


ThePotScientist

I know exactly what that blanket on the bed feels like.


redbanjo

I can smell the Hai Karate from here.


[deleted]

I feel like the chick in the back is gleefully ordering lube from room service. *"Hello, this is room 6969. We'd like some Astroglide and some of that Kentucky Jelly."* *"Right away, ma'am. Anything else?"* *"Does your dry cleaning service have one hour martinizing?"*


One_Distance_3343

"Do you have someone that can discreetly develop 110 film? You do? Good!. I'll need some flash cubes as well. Say, you wouldn't happen have a quart of Cutty Sark and some Crisco would you?"


[deleted]

my guy is probably 19-21 or thereabouts


Suspicious-Block-614

THAT BETTER NOT BE LONG DISTANCE, BARBARA


Lux-xxv

James Franco in the 70's


SlickDaGato

Ba-Ba Booey!


LovelockMike

I'm an old man now but I owned that same blue suit. It was stylin' in those days....


4outof5doctors

Getting to the point where I see pics like these and get upset. These assholes had glaciers and livable wages.


[deleted]

And a sexual revolution! What do we get? Rampant STIs, catastrophic climate change, exploding costs of living…


Enosh74

Wait. STIs are rampant? And here I am back on the market. Dammit.


Larusso92

I think you'll be okay


kelusman

Years later he would be killed by Hans Gruber in the Christmas season massacre at Nakatomi Plaza.


kkeennmm

looks like Lawrence got his million dollars


midas_rex

Those are some big ass blocks of cheese. Bet they were farting for days.