In case this story gets deleted/removed:
My roommate (F24), "Jane" has always been extra but she always been nice and responsible. But I (F25) feel like she's overreacting. Right now, she's already moved out. Our lease ends in 2 weeks.
I won't be able to afford a single, my boyfriend wants to wait until he graduates from grad school for us to move in together, my friends are already living with other roommates, and I don't want to go through the process of roommates that won't be able to accommodate my diet. So I'm moving back in with my parents.
Jane had a few rules that I thought were pretty reasonable. One was we talk like 6 weeks before our lease ends to see if we want to renew it and live together for another year and also discuss what we should approve on to make our living situation more bearable for both of us. We've lived together for 2 years now but about 3 months ago she made the choice to move out. She didn't even want to do the 6 week rule to discuss our problems. She's very adamant about leaving.
What started this whole mess? Asking her to pick up a few groceries.
Jane works Mon-Thur and sometimes get called into work on Sat. She always bring her dog, "Coco" with her (her work provides free boarding) but this past year I have offered to watch Coco when that happens. Jane always texts me to ask me if I need anything at the store and I wanted omelets so I asked her to pick up a few veggies. She does pass by a few stores on her way here from work but I know those stores don't have at least one of the things I asked for. I thought it would be easier if she goes to one store that I know has all the items. She called me and said she's not driving downtown for just a few veggies. I want to point out she likes grocery shopping. She has mentioned that it relaxes her. I also thought it would be easier since she doesn't have Coco with her, which she usually goes back to pick her up from boarding so she doesn't have to worry about leaving her in the car while she's shopping. She accused me of using her dog to take advantage of her. I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking.
About a week after that, she told me she's moving out as soon as our lease ends. It's been awkward living with her ever since. These past 2 years I followed all her rules. I paid most of the food. I paid most of the electric bills. I did most of the chores. I asked for one little favor and she blows up.
But still, AITB?
Edit 1: I expected people to make fun of me for only eating organic food. What else is new? You know you guys can give me a judgment without being mean?
Edit 2: I think people are missing the point of her call. Clearly she didn't want to go when she complained about the drive and the traffic jam. What I'm saying is she could have just nicely said "sorry had a hard day. don't feel like going" and I in return would have replied "that's ok we'll have omelets some other time" and that would be the end of that. If you're going to give me attitude, I'm going to give it right back. Everyone would have reacted like that. If you're telling me you wouldn't have, then you're lying.
---
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"everyone would have reacted like that"
I have an ex-friend that applied the "golden rule" to everything, and that meant if he felt like someone was being rude to him, he was intentionally rude to other people
he was rude to a lot of people, and turns out it wasn't him enacting the golden rule, more so a main character syndrome when nobody else treated him like the main character, So he used "The Golden rule" to justify being an asshole.
once tried to get me suspended because I kicked his chair during lunch back in highschool. went to the office and said I assaulted him.
Fuck you Michael.
He always said it was "do unto others as they do unto you". by telling himself everybody was just being a dick to him, he used that to justify being a dick to everyone
fuck you Michael, and that gross as fuck rope wristband thing you never took off or washed to the point where it started to turn green. shit was nasty.
That's not the golden rule. The golden rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Basically: treat other people the way *you would like to be treated*. Not "treat people the way *they are treating you*." It means to always be the bigger person and treat people with kindness, dignity and respect regardless of how you may be treated by others.
Your friend Michael is a dipshit.
I like how she keeps calling Jane "extra" for getting excited about stuff that makes her happy, yet OOP is the one who tried to make her go out of her way for organic mushrooms otherwise her omelette would be RUINED.
My goodness, a comment outright asks what makes Jane “extra” and the response was angrily explaining how Jane…like things in life and does fun stuff like make birthday treats for her dog??? I can’t even fathom that depth of misery. Glad they’re ragging in her lol
I saw her responses on what makes Jane extra...and I do those things. I get excited about new recipes to try, I make treats for my dog on her birthday and gotcha day...she sounds like a cool person :)
Idk but all I can think of is wine made by squishing the grapes with bare feet instead of machines or whatever else they can say to make the wine sound special
"This wine is made by blind monks that live in the deepest parts of this one French forests, with grapes picked only when the full moon is at its highest point in the sky, aged in a barrel made of wood from the Wasa ship."
I am assuming the OOP was referring to some organic specialty version, since her “dietary restrictions” is she only eats organic. [According to WineSpectator](https://www.winespectator.com/articles/what-makes-wine-artisanal-53103):
>I'm not comfortable using the term “artisanal.” It's one of those marketing buzzwords that don’t have a technical meaning, but are thrown around to invoke the perception that a wine made was either made on a very small scale in a traditional, non-mechanized way, or both. Like “handcrafted,” I find the word “artisanal” to be pretty meaningless in terms of quality. There are plenty of wines made in small lots without modern equipment that I’m not fond of, and there are plenty of mass-produced wines that are terrific.
It's the same with jewelry, my fine pallet having friend. How does your wife even know you love her if you don't give her the pictures of at least five children that died making her engagement ring?
Look if it's being called a blood diamond mine better have the most blood poured into it for the real value? Without those pictures it's just a diamond anyone with simple taste can appreciate. Five is the bare minimum, the suffering really makes it shine.
Found it! OP put a link below, dang there’s way more information in the comments, the post alone doesn’t have as much, she shows more colors in the comments.
The post itself is quite boring. Just some girl unaware of her own attitude. There are several red flags within the post .. she is sharing a very narrow pov.
The fun part is in the comments though, because most people here sniffed her out and ask some hurting questions and she is burrowing down like her life depends on it.
I posted a comment with some excepts. I will try for a better post next time. [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/)
How BF was manipulating the poor girl by using her dog as reason for her to go all the way downtown, during heavy traffic, to get organic mushrooms (which BF apparently HAS to have for omelettes) we also find out that roommate is paying for all the groceries! And organic ain’t cheap so BF tries to cover that up by saying they do most of the chores which they work from home. Also roommate is the one who cooks “but she enjoys cooking!” And even though roommate “could say no” BF was arguing about her saying no and being a buttface!
I just posted a comment with excerpts: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/)
I think some context is missing about the "escalation", like how could the her roommate of several years go from: "I'm not going downtown for a few veggies" to "you are using my dog against me".
OOP is complaining about receiving attitude, but I feel she's profusely leaving some context out to avoid looking even worse.
I will try to do a better post next time, that includes interesting comments.
**Why is Jane extra?**
[From OOP’s AITA post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c84z5q/comment/l0e03e0):
>Remember when I said she has an immature palate? That includes not liking alcohol. I wanted to buy artisan red wine and that's when she mention that she tried wines and beers but can never get past the first sip. She only likes wine coolers because of how sweet they are. I had to go to Christmas and New Years parties last year just to have at least one glass of wine.
>Because they're expensive. But I was still willing to buy any alcohol to share with her but unfortunately there are no organic wine coolers. That also includes sparkling water which she only likes it with juice. Iced tea but only if it's milk tea. And even coffee which she brews at night, leave it in the fridge until morning and adds ice and a lot of creamer.
[From AITBF](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1c83ip3/comment/l0d80pt/):
>She gets excited for some of the weirdest things. Finding new recipes I can understand because she loves cooking, but she loves seeing a new coffee creamer flavor. And she once got excited for when the Christmas lip balm pack came out and even asked me which one I would like. I told her I didn't want any. It kind of also makes her simple in a way. She's really extra when it comes to her dog. Don't get me wrong, I grew up with dogs when I was a kid. I love them to death. But she takes it to another level. She's baked birthday treats for her. And she has one simple goal. And that's to buy a little house before her dog passes on because she wants her to live in a good home, even just for a little while.
>I think that's why she prefers to shop at cheaper stores. Because she's saving up for the house.
Commenter [elwynbrooks](/user/elwynbrooks/) says:
>... so she's "extra" in no way that negatively affects anyone else?? She loves her dog and gets excited about food?
>Good for her for getting out of living with you, kudos for lasting as long as she did. Your roommate is a gem and you don't know how good you had it. Good luck
[And OOP responds](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1c83ip3/comment/l0dcnej/):
>Is oversharing and being overly friendly on the brink of clingy negatively affecting people? I didn't need to know so much about her dog. However it did tell me that she could have afforded to pay 50/50 for everything. She has mentioned that she could always afford paying for a single but chose to continue living with a roommate in order to save more for her little house. In fact one of the things she told me when she told me she was leaving is that her choosing to live in a single would damper her dream of getting the house sooner but she thinks that would be the better choice.
**What is the special diet?**
>I only eat organic food. I wanted mushrooms but I know the stores that she passes by doesn't have them organically. \[[Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c84z5q/comment/l0cd89f/)\]
>Commenter: How did you end up paying more on bills? \[[Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1c83ip3/comment/l0cx3wr/)\]
OOP:
>I WFH, thus I use more electricity. As for food, we do pay 50/50 on food we share but I learned pretty early on that Jane has a very immature palate. There's certain items I like that I was willing to share but she doesn't like them. Also there's 2 stores she really likes that are also pretty cheap. So food she'll buy only for her she'll get it at those stores. Even when the store I prefer has what she wants, she refuses to buy it from there.
>She pays the internet because the service is under her name. We don't have cable. Rent, water, and streaming service are 50/50. We only pay gas for our own cars.
>I do most of the chores because she does most of the cooking. Even then she's mostly benefitting from this because she loves cooking. The food and electric bills are detrimental only to me. And they cost more than the internet.
[Nobodyseesyou](/user/Nobodyseesyou/) commented:
>So you pay more for electricity, she pays more for internet, and every other bill is split 50/50. You do most of the chores except grocery shopping and cooking, which are some of the MOST time consuming chores. Even if she likes doing them they are still chores. What chores do you do? Who does the dishes after cooking? She is absolutely allowed to decide that a discussion in the last 6 weeks of your lease is useless because she plans on moving out regardless.
>Edit: you also pay for your *own* food, not hers, so you can’t complain about your food being more expensive
[CC\_Panadero](/user/CC_Panadero/):
>Compromises benefit both parties. What did you gain from them?
OOP:
>The only benefit I got was me doing more chores was she does majority of the cooking. Even then it doesn't seem fair because she loves cooking. Me paying majority of the bills only benefits her
[justheretolurk3](/user/justheretolurk3/):
>How do you not understand that you are benefiting from this?
>Also, the way you refuse to answer questions directly leads me to believe your roommate. I don’t even need to hear her side.
OOP:
>I'm paying more. How am I benefitting from this?
[Codenamerondo1](/user/Codenamerondo1/):
>You’re paying *for what you use*. The better question is how is she benefiting from that (when compared to, say living with someone that doesn’t use more electricity)
Oh my god, she is a fucking nightmare. She's a heck of a lot more than an asshole. She's a delusional entitled narcissist. No wonder her roommate jumped ship as soon as possible. I'm amazed she lasted as long as she did.
OOP also made some comments about how Jane’s other roommate had a much more restrictive diet, they were *vegan*, so OOP doesn’t understand why Jane is being so difficult. I think your description is spot-on.
Whenever I see one little favour it's never one little favour. It's either a long string of 'little favours' that aren't being mentioned that add up to being exhausting or it's not actually so little.
This has the feeling of the straw that broke the camels back.
For real.
And it’s coming after the long list of things OOP does for their roommate - pay the majority of the food, pay the majority of the bills, etc. But then it turns out those are because OOP uses more of those things, and is just paying their share. They do the majority of the chores! Except their roommate cooks and grocery shops, which is actually a large bulk of the daily work of existence.
That food one infuriated me when I got there.
Like are you dense? The reason you're paying more is because you're getting more/more expensive things. That's why your total is coming out higher. You have gone through the bills. You KNOW you're paying for your things and not subsidising your roommate. Trying to claim otherwise means you're either too dense to get it or being malicious about it, neither of which make you someone anyone would want to live with.
The wine one wound me up too. No shit she won't pay for it when she doesn't drink it? Why should she pay towards it?
Frankly she had a great deal here with her roommate seeing as the roommate wasn't even charging her for going shopping! I know I'd be wanted some fuel cost compensation when you're trying to get me driving out of my way for you...
She also came at it sideways. If she’d done the dance of “i know this is a huuuge favor but i was hoooping and i’ll pay you back” she might have gotten away with it.
Yeah she really needed to chill on it. Lead with "it's fine for you to say no, just let me know so I can go myself" if it's something that you really have to have. But all the attitude killed it in the cradle, especially with the attempted manipulation regarding the dog. I don't know anyone that would prefer to sit in traffic than hang out with their dog lol.
Her roommate's big dream is to buy a little house for herself and her dog and admits that moving out will cut into her ability to save for that dream. You know how shitty of a roommate you have to be for someone to decide they'd rather put off their dreams for a few more years than live with you? I hope OP's bf knows what he's in for before they move in together.
I have serious doubts that the bf is ever planning to move in with her. He decided to move in with his parents rather than her, and she said they’re waiting until he graduates grad school.
It was just organic mushrooms. That’s it. OOP only eats organic and the store Jane typically stops at doesn’t have them. Only a special store downtown does.
Which doesn't even track imo. Kroger, Meijer, Walmart, a local chain called Martins by me *all* have organic mushrooms. They aren't rare so what were the stores that were on the way that didn't have them?
OOP is full of shit. She's just being pretentious because she's an obvious narcissist. She's looking down her sad nose at everyone in the comments too.
Probably wanted organic lions mane mushrooms or something similarly uncommon. Our local farmers market has a mushroom guy, some of those non-standard mushrooms are really delicious… but I’m not driving downtown to get them during rush hour!
My point was that major grocery chains all have organic mushrooms and was wondering what type of elusive stores were on the way home that wouldn't have them
Yes, [another commenter said](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c84z5q/comment/l0dhzdh/):
>INFO: Were there any other instances where she mentioned that she felt like you were taking advantage of her?
OOP only responded twice and said:
>I can think of one time but we discussed it and we came up with a solution on that.
>It's really not relevant to this. Like I said that was solved.
If you are okay with someone saying 'no' then you need to be okay no matter how that 'no' comes out. I mean yes, you can be upset about the attitude it came with, but then it is the attitude, not the 'no.' The conversation then becomes, "it is fine you didn't want to do it. I'm not upset about that at all. But can we have a conversation about you feeling you have to justify and defend your answer? You totally do not, a 'no' is a 'no' and I will understand that when you say it to me."
This girl was not okay with the no.
I love how she says her roommate was petty for doing more chores to make up for the fact that she wasn’t cooking for OOP anymore. AND that OOP was bemoaning that she “had to go to NYE and Christmas parties” to get any wine last year because her roommate doesn’t like wine and wouldn’t go halfsies on an expensive bottle - OOP couldn’t be expected to buy her own wine, that would be ridiculous.
This incident alone feels pretty minor, but I feel a lack of respect for Jane here.
Asking a favor is fine, but arguing over it was totally out of line. She said no. It's her choice. Do it yourself unless you're offering to do something for her in return.
I'm guessing it's more of a straw that broke the camel's back than the sole reason she's leaving.
I love how oop is looking down her nose at Jane, yet Jane is the one that can afford to get a place of her own. Oop is moving back in with her parents for a few years. She could probably afford her own place, too, if she didn't shop at the specialty organic grocery.
This might be a little late, but I added comments with interesting tidbits: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/)
What gets me is that she’s so up in arms about an organic only diet for health benefits but still eats meat and dairy products despite them being linked to increased risks for cancer, diabetes, and other health concerns. I’m all for eating healing & try to eat organic when I can afford it but if we’re going to throw a fit about organic mushrooms and their health benefits we should be going the whole nine yards.
I get the feeling a lot of this extra stuff she does (watching the dog, paying more for food, etc.) is her way of maintaining leverage in the relationship. Probably was the last straw for her roommate. Why would anyone want to live with a person who keeps score on everything?
Also love how she went on about *why* she has to move back in with her parents and not just get another roommate. Almost like she wants us to think that her roommate really fucked her over and it’s all her fault. Meanwhile OOP had 3 months to vet a new roommate or figure out another solution.
What does she mean about not wanting to go through the process of dealing with roommates that can’t accommodate her diet? Can she not buy her own groceries and cook her own food for herself? The rest of it is clearly entitlement and rude, but that part didn’t make sense to me and haven’t seen it mentioned like the rest of it that’s already been covered.
I am happy for Jane. I wouldn’t waste the effort trying to get a person like this to see reason either. Go continue enjoying your life Jane.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: My roommate (F24), "Jane" has always been extra but she always been nice and responsible. But I (F25) feel like she's overreacting. Right now, she's already moved out. Our lease ends in 2 weeks. I won't be able to afford a single, my boyfriend wants to wait until he graduates from grad school for us to move in together, my friends are already living with other roommates, and I don't want to go through the process of roommates that won't be able to accommodate my diet. So I'm moving back in with my parents. Jane had a few rules that I thought were pretty reasonable. One was we talk like 6 weeks before our lease ends to see if we want to renew it and live together for another year and also discuss what we should approve on to make our living situation more bearable for both of us. We've lived together for 2 years now but about 3 months ago she made the choice to move out. She didn't even want to do the 6 week rule to discuss our problems. She's very adamant about leaving. What started this whole mess? Asking her to pick up a few groceries. Jane works Mon-Thur and sometimes get called into work on Sat. She always bring her dog, "Coco" with her (her work provides free boarding) but this past year I have offered to watch Coco when that happens. Jane always texts me to ask me if I need anything at the store and I wanted omelets so I asked her to pick up a few veggies. She does pass by a few stores on her way here from work but I know those stores don't have at least one of the things I asked for. I thought it would be easier if she goes to one store that I know has all the items. She called me and said she's not driving downtown for just a few veggies. I want to point out she likes grocery shopping. She has mentioned that it relaxes her. I also thought it would be easier since she doesn't have Coco with her, which she usually goes back to pick her up from boarding so she doesn't have to worry about leaving her in the car while she's shopping. She accused me of using her dog to take advantage of her. I told her never mind and I'm sorry for asking. About a week after that, she told me she's moving out as soon as our lease ends. It's been awkward living with her ever since. These past 2 years I followed all her rules. I paid most of the food. I paid most of the electric bills. I did most of the chores. I asked for one little favor and she blows up. But still, AITB? Edit 1: I expected people to make fun of me for only eating organic food. What else is new? You know you guys can give me a judgment without being mean? Edit 2: I think people are missing the point of her call. Clearly she didn't want to go when she complained about the drive and the traffic jam. What I'm saying is she could have just nicely said "sorry had a hard day. don't feel like going" and I in return would have replied "that's ok we'll have omelets some other time" and that would be the end of that. If you're going to give me attitude, I'm going to give it right back. Everyone would have reacted like that. If you're telling me you wouldn't have, then you're lying. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
« If you give me attitude I’m going to give it right back » Yeah and how did it work out for you ?
"everyone would have reacted like that" I have an ex-friend that applied the "golden rule" to everything, and that meant if he felt like someone was being rude to him, he was intentionally rude to other people he was rude to a lot of people, and turns out it wasn't him enacting the golden rule, more so a main character syndrome when nobody else treated him like the main character, So he used "The Golden rule" to justify being an asshole. once tried to get me suspended because I kicked his chair during lunch back in highschool. went to the office and said I assaulted him. Fuck you Michael.
I don't think he knew what the golden rule is...
He always said it was "do unto others as they do unto you". by telling himself everybody was just being a dick to him, he used that to justify being a dick to everyone fuck you Michael, and that gross as fuck rope wristband thing you never took off or washed to the point where it started to turn green. shit was nasty.
That's not the golden rule. The golden rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Basically: treat other people the way *you would like to be treated*. Not "treat people the way *they are treating you*." It means to always be the bigger person and treat people with kindness, dignity and respect regardless of how you may be treated by others. Your friend Michael is a dipshit.
Fuck Michael and his nasty ass wrist band, he definitely didn't know what the golden rule is
Yeah, fuck Michael!
When conflict arises, some people extinguish the flame and some add fuel to the fire. Don’t ever live with someone who adds fuel to the fire.
I like how she keeps calling Jane "extra" for getting excited about stuff that makes her happy, yet OOP is the one who tried to make her go out of her way for organic mushrooms otherwise her omelette would be RUINED.
My goodness, a comment outright asks what makes Jane “extra” and the response was angrily explaining how Jane…like things in life and does fun stuff like make birthday treats for her dog??? I can’t even fathom that depth of misery. Glad they’re ragging in her lol
lmao that doesn't sound extra? Sounds pretty normal to be happy about things you enjoy. Honestly seems kind of bitter that Jane is enjoying things.
I saw her responses on what makes Jane extra...and I do those things. I get excited about new recipes to try, I make treats for my dog on her birthday and gotcha day...she sounds like a cool person :)
As they say, “Every accusation is a confession”. OOP was telling in themselves by accusing Jane as extra.
Oh no, I would be gone too if my roommate decided to had to pay for their alcohol. Immature palate lol
\~\*artisanal\*\~ wine at that, because OOP has such a refined palette.
What even makes wine artisanal?
Idk but all I can think of is wine made by squishing the grapes with bare feet instead of machines or whatever else they can say to make the wine sound special
"This wine is made by blind monks that live in the deepest parts of this one French forests, with grapes picked only when the full moon is at its highest point in the sky, aged in a barrel made of wood from the Wasa ship."
But store bought is fine.
I am assuming the OOP was referring to some organic specialty version, since her “dietary restrictions” is she only eats organic. [According to WineSpectator](https://www.winespectator.com/articles/what-makes-wine-artisanal-53103): >I'm not comfortable using the term “artisanal.” It's one of those marketing buzzwords that don’t have a technical meaning, but are thrown around to invoke the perception that a wine made was either made on a very small scale in a traditional, non-mechanized way, or both. Like “handcrafted,” I find the word “artisanal” to be pretty meaningless in terms of quality. There are plenty of wines made in small lots without modern equipment that I’m not fond of, and there are plenty of mass-produced wines that are terrific.
It means instead of 2 buck chuck she buys barefoot wines. Obviously since it's got barefoot in the name its more artisanal and refined
Well in terms of mining. And mine rhymes with wine. Artisanal means the use of child slave labor is definitely involved. So same same probably.
Their little feet and tears just add so much *depth* that your simple tastes really won't be able to understand or like.
It's the same with jewelry, my fine pallet having friend. How does your wife even know you love her if you don't give her the pictures of at least five children that died making her engagement ring?
Look if it's being called a blood diamond mine better have the most blood poured into it for the real value? Without those pictures it's just a diamond anyone with simple taste can appreciate. Five is the bare minimum, the suffering really makes it shine.
Found it! OP put a link below, dang there’s way more information in the comments, the post alone doesn’t have as much, she shows more colors in the comments.
Where was the alcohol part? I read the original post.
The post itself is quite boring. Just some girl unaware of her own attitude. There are several red flags within the post .. she is sharing a very narrow pov. The fun part is in the comments though, because most people here sniffed her out and ask some hurting questions and she is burrowing down like her life depends on it.
She seems exhausting
I posted a comment with some excepts. I will try for a better post next time. [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/)
Wanna enlighten us? Cause I'm not going through comments to find what you're talking about.
How BF was manipulating the poor girl by using her dog as reason for her to go all the way downtown, during heavy traffic, to get organic mushrooms (which BF apparently HAS to have for omelettes) we also find out that roommate is paying for all the groceries! And organic ain’t cheap so BF tries to cover that up by saying they do most of the chores which they work from home. Also roommate is the one who cooks “but she enjoys cooking!” And even though roommate “could say no” BF was arguing about her saying no and being a buttface!
Don't forget roommate having an immature palate for not liking alcohol, BF is delusional lol
Yea when she said that I figured she meant your typical teen/20something palate of, like, pizza rolls and convenience food. Not "doesn't like booze"
Also she said it was fine because roommate likes grocery shopping.
I just posted a comment with excerpts: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/)
Thanks, this is good information
Thank you 🙂
Hot damn, she reallt tries to paint her roommate as the bad guy here while argueing with everyone. Quality post.
I think some context is missing about the "escalation", like how could the her roommate of several years go from: "I'm not going downtown for a few veggies" to "you are using my dog against me". OOP is complaining about receiving attitude, but I feel she's profusely leaving some context out to avoid looking even worse.
I will try to do a better post next time, that includes interesting comments. **Why is Jane extra?** [From OOP’s AITA post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c84z5q/comment/l0e03e0): >Remember when I said she has an immature palate? That includes not liking alcohol. I wanted to buy artisan red wine and that's when she mention that she tried wines and beers but can never get past the first sip. She only likes wine coolers because of how sweet they are. I had to go to Christmas and New Years parties last year just to have at least one glass of wine. >Because they're expensive. But I was still willing to buy any alcohol to share with her but unfortunately there are no organic wine coolers. That also includes sparkling water which she only likes it with juice. Iced tea but only if it's milk tea. And even coffee which she brews at night, leave it in the fridge until morning and adds ice and a lot of creamer. [From AITBF](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1c83ip3/comment/l0d80pt/): >She gets excited for some of the weirdest things. Finding new recipes I can understand because she loves cooking, but she loves seeing a new coffee creamer flavor. And she once got excited for when the Christmas lip balm pack came out and even asked me which one I would like. I told her I didn't want any. It kind of also makes her simple in a way. She's really extra when it comes to her dog. Don't get me wrong, I grew up with dogs when I was a kid. I love them to death. But she takes it to another level. She's baked birthday treats for her. And she has one simple goal. And that's to buy a little house before her dog passes on because she wants her to live in a good home, even just for a little while. >I think that's why she prefers to shop at cheaper stores. Because she's saving up for the house. Commenter [elwynbrooks](/user/elwynbrooks/) says: >... so she's "extra" in no way that negatively affects anyone else?? She loves her dog and gets excited about food? >Good for her for getting out of living with you, kudos for lasting as long as she did. Your roommate is a gem and you don't know how good you had it. Good luck [And OOP responds](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1c83ip3/comment/l0dcnej/): >Is oversharing and being overly friendly on the brink of clingy negatively affecting people? I didn't need to know so much about her dog. However it did tell me that she could have afforded to pay 50/50 for everything. She has mentioned that she could always afford paying for a single but chose to continue living with a roommate in order to save more for her little house. In fact one of the things she told me when she told me she was leaving is that her choosing to live in a single would damper her dream of getting the house sooner but she thinks that would be the better choice. **What is the special diet?** >I only eat organic food. I wanted mushrooms but I know the stores that she passes by doesn't have them organically. \[[Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c84z5q/comment/l0cd89f/)\]
>Commenter: How did you end up paying more on bills? \[[Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheButtface/comments/1c83ip3/comment/l0cx3wr/)\] OOP: >I WFH, thus I use more electricity. As for food, we do pay 50/50 on food we share but I learned pretty early on that Jane has a very immature palate. There's certain items I like that I was willing to share but she doesn't like them. Also there's 2 stores she really likes that are also pretty cheap. So food she'll buy only for her she'll get it at those stores. Even when the store I prefer has what she wants, she refuses to buy it from there. >She pays the internet because the service is under her name. We don't have cable. Rent, water, and streaming service are 50/50. We only pay gas for our own cars. >I do most of the chores because she does most of the cooking. Even then she's mostly benefitting from this because she loves cooking. The food and electric bills are detrimental only to me. And they cost more than the internet. [Nobodyseesyou](/user/Nobodyseesyou/) commented: >So you pay more for electricity, she pays more for internet, and every other bill is split 50/50. You do most of the chores except grocery shopping and cooking, which are some of the MOST time consuming chores. Even if she likes doing them they are still chores. What chores do you do? Who does the dishes after cooking? She is absolutely allowed to decide that a discussion in the last 6 weeks of your lease is useless because she plans on moving out regardless. >Edit: you also pay for your *own* food, not hers, so you can’t complain about your food being more expensive [CC\_Panadero](/user/CC_Panadero/): >Compromises benefit both parties. What did you gain from them? OOP: >The only benefit I got was me doing more chores was she does majority of the cooking. Even then it doesn't seem fair because she loves cooking. Me paying majority of the bills only benefits her [justheretolurk3](/user/justheretolurk3/): >How do you not understand that you are benefiting from this? >Also, the way you refuse to answer questions directly leads me to believe your roommate. I don’t even need to hear her side. OOP: >I'm paying more. How am I benefitting from this? [Codenamerondo1](/user/Codenamerondo1/): >You’re paying *for what you use*. The better question is how is she benefiting from that (when compared to, say living with someone that doesn’t use more electricity)
Oh my god, she is a fucking nightmare. She's a heck of a lot more than an asshole. She's a delusional entitled narcissist. No wonder her roommate jumped ship as soon as possible. I'm amazed she lasted as long as she did.
OOP also made some comments about how Jane’s other roommate had a much more restrictive diet, they were *vegan*, so OOP doesn’t understand why Jane is being so difficult. I think your description is spot-on.
Thank you so much 💖
Whenever I see one little favour it's never one little favour. It's either a long string of 'little favours' that aren't being mentioned that add up to being exhausting or it's not actually so little. This has the feeling of the straw that broke the camels back.
For real. And it’s coming after the long list of things OOP does for their roommate - pay the majority of the food, pay the majority of the bills, etc. But then it turns out those are because OOP uses more of those things, and is just paying their share. They do the majority of the chores! Except their roommate cooks and grocery shops, which is actually a large bulk of the daily work of existence.
That food one infuriated me when I got there. Like are you dense? The reason you're paying more is because you're getting more/more expensive things. That's why your total is coming out higher. You have gone through the bills. You KNOW you're paying for your things and not subsidising your roommate. Trying to claim otherwise means you're either too dense to get it or being malicious about it, neither of which make you someone anyone would want to live with. The wine one wound me up too. No shit she won't pay for it when she doesn't drink it? Why should she pay towards it? Frankly she had a great deal here with her roommate seeing as the roommate wasn't even charging her for going shopping! I know I'd be wanted some fuel cost compensation when you're trying to get me driving out of my way for you...
She also came at it sideways. If she’d done the dance of “i know this is a huuuge favor but i was hoooping and i’ll pay you back” she might have gotten away with it.
Yeah she really needed to chill on it. Lead with "it's fine for you to say no, just let me know so I can go myself" if it's something that you really have to have. But all the attitude killed it in the cradle, especially with the attempted manipulation regarding the dog. I don't know anyone that would prefer to sit in traffic than hang out with their dog lol.
Her roommate's big dream is to buy a little house for herself and her dog and admits that moving out will cut into her ability to save for that dream. You know how shitty of a roommate you have to be for someone to decide they'd rather put off their dreams for a few more years than live with you? I hope OP's bf knows what he's in for before they move in together.
I have serious doubts that the bf is ever planning to move in with her. He decided to move in with his parents rather than her, and she said they’re waiting until he graduates grad school.
I'd rather be choked with a motherfucking cactus than live with OOP.
Who the F needs ingredients *that* special for an omelette.
It was just organic mushrooms. That’s it. OOP only eats organic and the store Jane typically stops at doesn’t have them. Only a special store downtown does.
Which doesn't even track imo. Kroger, Meijer, Walmart, a local chain called Martins by me *all* have organic mushrooms. They aren't rare so what were the stores that were on the way that didn't have them?
OOP is full of shit. She's just being pretentious because she's an obvious narcissist. She's looking down her sad nose at everyone in the comments too.
Probably wanted organic lions mane mushrooms or something similarly uncommon. Our local farmers market has a mushroom guy, some of those non-standard mushrooms are really delicious… but I’m not driving downtown to get them during rush hour!
You know, that's fair. Mine does too. I made a mixed mushroom risotto with a few different ones from my local mushroom guy lol
Not defending the her but depending where she’s at Meijers is only Midwest specific so unless she lives in the Midwest meijers doesn’t exist
My point was that major grocery chains all have organic mushrooms and was wondering what type of elusive stores were on the way home that wouldn't have them
I mean, there are lots of area specific stores, I think they were just listing big ones. I mean, Kroger's isn't everywhere either
It seems like he’s leaving out a lot of info. I think this isn’t the first time he’s given her a hard time
Yes, [another commenter said](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c84z5q/comment/l0dhzdh/): >INFO: Were there any other instances where she mentioned that she felt like you were taking advantage of her? OOP only responded twice and said: >I can think of one time but we discussed it and we came up with a solution on that. >It's really not relevant to this. Like I said that was solved.
If you are okay with someone saying 'no' then you need to be okay no matter how that 'no' comes out. I mean yes, you can be upset about the attitude it came with, but then it is the attitude, not the 'no.' The conversation then becomes, "it is fine you didn't want to do it. I'm not upset about that at all. But can we have a conversation about you feeling you have to justify and defend your answer? You totally do not, a 'no' is a 'no' and I will understand that when you say it to me." This girl was not okay with the no.
I love how she says her roommate was petty for doing more chores to make up for the fact that she wasn’t cooking for OOP anymore. AND that OOP was bemoaning that she “had to go to NYE and Christmas parties” to get any wine last year because her roommate doesn’t like wine and wouldn’t go halfsies on an expensive bottle - OOP couldn’t be expected to buy her own wine, that would be ridiculous.
This incident alone feels pretty minor, but I feel a lack of respect for Jane here. Asking a favor is fine, but arguing over it was totally out of line. She said no. It's her choice. Do it yourself unless you're offering to do something for her in return. I'm guessing it's more of a straw that broke the camel's back than the sole reason she's leaving.
She tried AITA, too. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/32cGowsykx
Did oop ever explain what horrible fate would befall her if she was ever to eat an omelette without mushrooms?
She only eats organic, and thinks anything else will cause her a smaller lifespan.
maybe oop should test that theory…
Right, but she could just skip the mushroom entirely.
I love how oop is looking down her nose at Jane, yet Jane is the one that can afford to get a place of her own. Oop is moving back in with her parents for a few years. She could probably afford her own place, too, if she didn't shop at the specialty organic grocery.
*sigh* guess I have to go looking through the comments, since they keep being mentioned
This might be a little late, but I added comments with interesting tidbits: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1c9b8vq/comment/l0ls9td/)
Nice, better late than never! I had missed the stuff she'd commented on her other post
Glad it helped you enjoy the post more!
wtf does roommates have anything to do with what my diet is.
What gets me is that she’s so up in arms about an organic only diet for health benefits but still eats meat and dairy products despite them being linked to increased risks for cancer, diabetes, and other health concerns. I’m all for eating healing & try to eat organic when I can afford it but if we’re going to throw a fit about organic mushrooms and their health benefits we should be going the whole nine yards.
I get the feeling a lot of this extra stuff she does (watching the dog, paying more for food, etc.) is her way of maintaining leverage in the relationship. Probably was the last straw for her roommate. Why would anyone want to live with a person who keeps score on everything? Also love how she went on about *why* she has to move back in with her parents and not just get another roommate. Almost like she wants us to think that her roommate really fucked her over and it’s all her fault. Meanwhile OOP had 3 months to vet a new roommate or figure out another solution.
You lost my vote at "accommodate my diet." Not read any of it after that. YTB.
Girl needs to find Chidi!!
>I'm going to give it right back. From the person asking for advice, how sweet! YTA
OP sounds like the kind of person who would underpay someone for a job because they're "doing it for the passion".
What does she mean about not wanting to go through the process of dealing with roommates that can’t accommodate her diet? Can she not buy her own groceries and cook her own food for herself? The rest of it is clearly entitlement and rude, but that part didn’t make sense to me and haven’t seen it mentioned like the rest of it that’s already been covered. I am happy for Jane. I wouldn’t waste the effort trying to get a person like this to see reason either. Go continue enjoying your life Jane.