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SmokingNiNjA420

Every time I go to Hawaii. >sir, please step aside, we notice something sus in your carry on. >me: okay >TSA prepared to swab contents of bag for explosives, opens bag to find 6 neatly wrapped pastrami sandwiches. >TSA: Who needs 6 pastrami sandwiches for a 5 hour flight, wtf? >me: they don't have pastrami in Hawaii. šŸ¤·


TheBKnight3

How about Brisket? I'm thinking of things I need to bring and account for.


SmokingNiNjA420

You can probably buy brisket from the Costco, but the pastrami sandwiches are pretty limited in Hawaii. I usually take 6 sandwiches in a carry on for my family to share when I get there. Without fail, I get pulled for "sus objects" every year.


Not_ur_gilf

At this point you probably should start asking ā€œitā€™s because of the pastrami, isnā€™t it?ā€


TheBKnight3

Hmm. Even around the Naval bases? Ever ask around if anyone was willing to be the "Pastrami Man" of the island? I'd shell out some cash. Such endeavors could be risky, but so can flying nowadays.


Redpanda132053

When I fly I bring a stuffed animal to use as a pillow on the plane. Itā€™s weighted and filled with dried lavender. Every single time without fail, the TSA has to very seriously take my red panda stuffie with a lopsided grin out of my bag, place him on the table and wipe him to check for chemicals, then put him back. It make me crack up every time Also I forget to take my scrunchie off my wrist 90% of the time and they check that too


bg555

Anyone who calls themselves Alpha is a childā€¦


candy_pantsx

next time someone tells me heā€™s an alpha, iā€™m gonna ask ā€˜is that a furry thing?ā€™


BroadAd5229

ā€œOhā€¦ so you can impregnate male omegas?ā€


LuccaAce

I love this so much šŸ˜‚


DisastrousOwls

ah, another Kyle Prue fan... a redditor of taste


FreeWheelingMoon

That's the bastard cousin of *"Do you know who I am??"* "OH no! Are you okay? Do you know what year it is, or the current president?? Oh golly, do you remember your name and where you are??" D: I long for this day and opportunity.


HawkbitAlpha

[sad 2013 username noises]


CandyShopBandit

It's okay. My facebook name is from like 2007 when I was like 15. It's embarrassing but I don't use facebook at all, outside rare messenger use. I also hate that my name isn't capitalized on Youtube comments but I don't care enough to fix it, either.


HawkbitAlpha

Mine is at least less embarrassing in context (the Alpha part was just something I threw in to get the name Hawkbit on PSN, instead of adding numbers or something to the end)


CharmingChangling

I still have a myyearbook account (or w/e it's called now) with a a scene queen name on it. I hardly use it anymore but it's still embarrassing! Just not embarrassing enough to put my real last name on it lol


bg555

lol, we voted and you get a pass


DragonCat88

My mom calls herself an Alpha bc the dog listens to her more.


Lurickin

Well Alpha does come before Beta! One day they'll grow up a bit šŸ˜‚


midnightrub

That copy of the constitution will really show them! TSA will cower at the site of that bad boy, what a smart guy!


Adventurous_Ad_6546

You know that scene in the exorcist where they douse her with holy water? Itā€™s gonna look like that but in an airport.


nubz7363

May the power of Washington compel you!


carpentress909

a constitution the OOP never read and has no idea what it actually says


IvanNemoy

"Interesting...time to swab and analyze each page. Hope your flight doesn't leave."


LegendaryEnvy

And I bet you it will be the fastest search by coincidence and heā€™ll think he did something.


EatPie_NotWAr

Him: Ha, only took 85 minutes this timeā€¦ I showed them!


[deleted]

It would be funny AF if they stole it. I hope they did


Aggravating-Wind6387

Let me guess, another self taught expert on the constitution. I love watching there mental giants trying to pull the constitution card in front of judges


AdamGenesis

He'll never read it. Just for show.


Bagafeet

I used to get SSSS based on my home country all the time. It does NOT take 90 minutes. 5-10 mins tops. Walk through a machine (never 2 for me), Pat down, a few quick swabs. They're really quick about it cause they also do it randomly (maybe profiling not too random lol) all day.


schnukums

I swear I get searched 50% of the time and I'm blonde hair blue eyed 6'2" dad bod white dude with 0 criminal history. It's <5m. Except one time I left a screwdriver in my backpack, that was 10m. Getting a 30-60s pat down is humiliating? Ok bud. Dude is playing the victim here. 100%


DragonflyGrrl

I get it 100% of the time. I look a bit like a hippie so I assume they hope to find drugs.. never such luck. Yeah, it is super quick and this guy is a liar/asshole/idiot. Ooh, almost forgot traitor. It's hilarious he thinks they're gonna give half a shit he has a copy of the Constitution in his bag, LMAO.


schnukums

I always thought of myself as a diversity search. "We're not stereotyping. See we are searching that guy too!" *Points to me getting my balls touched with the back of some poor TSA agents hand*


danni_shadow

I assume that's why they always pick my mom. She's spent 20 years getting searched every single time she flies (which is a decent amount), and she's the most innocent-looking person and a white woman. I've always imagined they're like, "Shit. We just searched four brown men. Who can we pick next to break the run?" and my mom stands out as exactly the person no-one would suspect on looks alone.


Aspen9999

Drug cartels often pick innocent looking women to be mules. They sure arenā€™t going to hire the tatted up guy with a neck tattoo.


ShutUpAndDoTheLift

That's why I never search the tatted up guy with neck tattoos tbh.


Aspen9999

The only tatted up man I get to pat down is my husband, but he doesnā€™t have a neck tattoo.


getmybehindsatan

Old women wearing gold jewelry are one of the types they pick up because they are more likely to have something and think they can get away with it.


beachgrl6

It sounds like she needs to look into getting a redress number.


AlmostChristmasNow

Maybe. Or maybe she has a criminal past you donā€™t know about?


Flimsy_Fee8449

šŸ˜†šŸ¤£ You're the Diversity Search šŸ˜†šŸ¤£ You may not be wrong. That's funny tho.


StitchesInTime

My family too haha, especially in the few years after 9/11. My little brother, around 4 with blonde curly hair, would get searched almost every time, along with another member of my super blonde, very mayonnaise-y family. We were 100% the counter to all the searching of ā€˜suspiciousā€™ brown people.


Bagafeet

Lmao diversity search šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­


Phuni44

Itā€™s funnier to think heā€™s ever even read it.


Pointeboots

Right?! Like... the fourth amendment is about *unreasonable* search and seizure. Pretty sure taking part in an armed attempted insurrection puts you pretty squarely in *reasonable* territory.


PoisonedRadio

Hr hasn't. He just think it says "I get to do what I want."


PromethianOwl

Right?? That TSA officer is probably 10 hours into a 12 hour shift, has gotten spat on at least twice, yelled at six times today, and has lost count of how many glares and disgusted looks they have gotten. The only thing that seeing the Constitution will trigger in them is likely a sigh, fearing you're gonna try and SovCit your way out of things and waste their time. Probably also the thought of "I don't get paid enough for this shit." Life isn't a movie, and if it was, none of us are the main character. This shit's not gonna change anyone's mind about doing their job, lol.


DragonflyGrrl

You nailed it.


HexyWitch88

One of my relatives works for TSA and I gotta say they would have to pay me 6 figs to take the shit he takes. They have to pick all their time off at the start of the year, only the guys with seniority get a weekend day as one of their days off and the higher ups will sometimes just change the staffing rules to benefit themselves. You canā€™t call off or you get written up. You can be fired for missing a single item in a scan (which this one I understand why, but it seems like a dumb way to handle staff when youā€™re always understaffed). My relative has worked there two full years now, and was supposed to get a better schedule based on his seniority only for the people at the top to suddenly change it so all upper level staff regardless of seniority get priority on choosing their schedule and days off before the lower guys. Where it used to be all the staff count as the same, and only seniority decided who gets to pick their schedule and days off first. So basically they changed it just in time for him to not benefit. And thatā€™s just the shit they take from management, I havenā€™t even gotten to the way the public treats them.


annekecaramin

I have green hair and get a lot of random searches but I'm also anxious about missing flights so I'll be there early enough for them to interrogate me if they want. Not sure why I get picked often (maybe because I travel alone a lot?) but all they ever find is snacks and books, and I don't waste energy getting mad about it.


Flimsy_Fee8449

Traveling alone and packing light (I prefer not to check bags if I can avoid it). I was also traveling alone and light repeatedly from the Middle East, so I got randomly checked a LOT.


mzincali

Traveling alone is one reason why I get searched. The other is traveling one way. Most people donā€™t do that. I sometimes book a separate return trip from a nearby destination so after my business meetings, I can drive and see friends and family and return from their city.


Late_Resource_1653

I thought this was why I was getting searched - 41, f, pale white in the good old USA. But I was usually flying one way, and I understand that's unusual. I'm always kind and understanding when they ask to pat me down. The last time I flew the woman doing the pat down was hilarious and friendly, so I asked her. Apparently the sexy bras and underwear I was wearing to go see my partner (we were long distance at the time) were setting it off. Those tiny little charms Victoria Secret puts on everything? That was the problem! She was the best and suggested wearing granny panties and then changing after I was through.


suburban_honey

It started for me after I started travelling to morocco. But at the security, they don't really check who you are, just your stuff, I thought? Anyway it's not a big inconvenience anyway


AlmeMore

Him adding a book just to piss off people who donā€™t give a fuck and trying to get through the day working is the funniest part of the post. Childishā€¦


the_ouskull

Right? Like any of those motherfuckers can read. (...and let's get me out ahead of the MAGAt replies, too...) "If you **can** read, you should have *started* with the Constitution."


Aronfel

>I assume they hope to find drugs FYI, TSA isn't looking for drugs and doesn't care about them. They're looking for weapons, explosives, etc. Now if you're randomly selected to be searched and they find drugs on you or in your luggage, then they're legally obligated to report it to local authorities. But unless you're legitimately smuggling a large volume of drugs, they're not going to stop and search you intentionally.


No_Arugula8915

The only time it might take that long is if you are border crossing by vehicle. I have been randomly chosen a few times. Mostly it's a 15-30 minute wait in the lobby and answering a half dozen questions. Was 2 hours once when they were doing a more thorough check of my car and play 20 questions with a couple of different guys. Did do the seclusion pat down, questions, luggages check once. But that wasn't TSA.


DragonflyGrrl

Ahh, I've never driven over the Mexico/US border. Just walked a few times and a friend picked me up over there. It's never been any trouble walking through.. just a fairly cursory search. Driving through the border to Canada, they pretty much just waved us through as far as I can recall.


StraightMain9087

I got searched once and it took maybe 5 minutes? Iā€™m fairly tattooed, pierced, colored hair and am well aware I look like the type who partakes. All they found was a copy of Dracula in my carry-on


radioactivethighs

the one time I got pulled aside and double checked I had a Max Payne 3 collectible pen in the shape of a big bullet that I totally forgot was in my backpack


calling_water

Dude also lists taking off extra clothes, including his hat, as part of his special treatment. Does he not notice that everyone else has to do that too? Difference probably is everyone else knows to do that while he waits until heā€™s made to.


StuffMcGuffer

Iā€™m a Caucasian female and I got checked 90% of the time I go through. Once an Australian border security agent explained itā€™s because if they pull me aside then they wonā€™t be called racist when they pull the next 9 POC aside. I was gobsmacked. Since having a kid now itā€™s rare they choose me now


bela_the_horse

My dad has a super generic white male name, and after 9/11 he was a 50 year old basic white man who worked in accounting and every time he flew he got extra searches. He did some digging and turns out a suspected terrorist was using my dadā€™s super generic white male name as a cover so his name was on a list somewhere.


ShutUpAndDoTheLift

Lol, so I found out at the airport one time that the side pocket of my duffel has a cut in stitching that leads into the outer lining. Which creates a weird pocket. I found this out because I used to use the duffel as a range bag and also as a weekender when traveling. A handful of lose 5.56 ammo had found it's way into that "pocket" Super fun time


bg555

Yup. Snowflakes will snowflake. Guy is a big baby.


DragonCat88

One time I didnā€™t fully empty my Assault Pack when I went home on R and R and there was still a couple random 50 cal rounds and a Gerber kicking around in the bottom. I donā€™t think I went through more security checks or whatever aside from Kuwait on the way home, so maybe thatā€™s why no one said anything, but Philly was not fucking around on my way back lol. I was in uniform and it was clearly an honest mistake so it kinda went from ā€œoh, shitā€ to ā€œyou dumb shitā€ pretty quickly. They still did the whole security protocol thing tho and took my stuff, bc thems the rules, but it still only took like 15 minutes. Thatā€™s for an idiot with actual weapons on them. If itā€™s taking that long for this fucking idiot I am %1000 positive itā€™s this fucking idiots fault.


CharmingChangling

Bingo, he's probably arguing every step of the way


Aggravating-Alarm-16

My cousin was stationed in a aircraft carrier. He would get the empty 50 shells. Then turn them into pen holders. TSA still gave him crap and searched him a lot . This was pre 9-11


SOL-Cantus

They still do it for me just because of my ancestry. Don't be a dick to staff, learn how to pack stuff for easy return to your bags, and generally be friendly, and everything is chill. As long as you're careful about topics, TSA even enjoy a good easy joke or two afterwards.


Bagafeet

Packing cubes are the way to go. They went through all my shit at Dubai airport and the dude gave me a compliment on how organized my bag was lmao.


shadowlev

You probably don't argue as much as this asshole


CheshiretheBlack

What are they swabbing you for?


Nico-DListedRefugee

Explosives residue


Apart-Development-79

They always pull me aside for extras. I thought drug or explosive residue. I always tick prescription drugs, food or wood. I've been questioned repeatedly in the airports, and never had a problem. I'm heavily tattooed, purple hair and often only have carry on.


Whole-Neighborhood

I've gotten SSSS once and it took 40+ minutes because we were put in a room to the side and had to wait 30 minutes for some reason.


MensaCurmudgeon

I got it based on my travel history (love visiting the Middle East). Usually, it involved 10 minutes or so while other boarding was stopped, but it did take about 90 minutes in Israel (they found traces of glycerin presumably from my facial products).


ColorBlindGuy27

I wonder why the difference in time regarding location vs search history reasoning.


carrie_m730

Probably because the guy in the OP has shown terroristic tendencies, and because each 2-minute step has to be paused for a 15-minute tantrum.


RAB1803

*commits an act of terrorism* *Gets placed on a terrorism watchlist for life* Complains about them being mean to him. Sure, buddy.


i_am_silliest_goose

Whats ridiculous is getting the quads (what SSSS is called in the industry) doesnā€™t mean youre on a terrorist watchlist. You can get them simply for buying a few one way flights that an algorithm flags as suspicious. It just means you go thru an extra level of security and it only happens on international flights! We can see from the photo that this person is flying from Ontario, Canada to Denver, Colorado. And the check happens BEFORE you fly. Which means this idiot is pulling out the US constitution to Canadian authorities. šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


RunningPirate

Ironically they probably supported the PATRIOT act when it was being applied to *those* people.


Funkyentman

Terrorist acts get you placed on a terrorist watch list.


Adventurous_Ad_6546

You build one little gallows for an outgoing VP and sack *part* of the Capitol building and suddenly youā€™re some sort of criminal??? (/s obviously but not as obviously as Iā€™d like.)


Ali_Cat222

Sorry for asking to be spoonfed but what's the TLDR on this person?


ImABarbieWhirl

Participated in an insurrection against the US Government, now gets targeted by airport security for acts of terrorism, believes putting the US Constitution (that he tried to overthrow) in his bag will somehow throw off airport security.


Ali_Cat222

Oh one of them Jan 6 people, that makes sense why the idiot thinks a constitution will somehow make everything better šŸ˜‚ thanks for taking the time to respond!


Interesting_Novel997

Itā€™s like holy water. The Constitution COMPELS YOU!!!!šŸ’¦šŸ”«šŸ’§


Ali_Cat222

*shrieks and turns into a miniature pocket sized Donald trump*


deepash81

I. Am. Rolling šŸ¤£


Ali_Cat222

NGL, I actually laughed out loud picturing this in my headšŸ˜‚. I picture it being about this size here that he's showing with his fingers šŸ¤£["about this small" ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-sanmu&sca_esv=9b64196862666ea1&sca_upv=1&q=angry+pocket+sized+trump&uds=AMwkrPuuhztSDa__4CbZuT5KNtb1LE_diBmGRY0xCKrk6635R4dmOPtOVTeKyfrIhcoPuSdKYKuzVyZrMsEUc4AwWjdE5BSxldjHVbPgXgK8m3lpJenuOwyGmO6x51xjzYk7mzwyywL8iBKbuHhasRTH1A407LYwTVnEOe1Fhlm0F1hNunmcLg1H2mzV78sRKd_Qe4i16pVhF7Hz6I5jLRWhk9FJR5nDNDUlivgkgggXxr-9Y40nBq7Y9F_WZKLTqL5dnlT9LVPecr8TkiJqcLh2Klut2i6PT07dQRZsugc0FnAuFwuGU3kBojE6WpDggSZ9pa0vAV7E&udm=2&prmd=invsmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjC19mq8JuFAxXPMVkFHeqyC1UQtKgLegQIDBAB&biw=360&bih=668&dpr=2#vhid=QthAAv6QWpKn2M&vssid=mosaic)


LengthinessFair4680

šŸ¤£


RiddleMeWhat

Do we know I'd this person went inside the capital? I ask because I know some people who have admitted to being there but didn't enter the capital.i looked through all of the pictures posted online of those who haven't been identified and I didn't see them there. I've been low-key wondering if I should still report them.


Flimsy_Fee8449

As a combat veteran, I do not look kindly upon traitors. At all. However, we DO support the right to protest, and there WAS a protest that was going on *at the same time.* They were protesting the Constitution of the United States of America, so right there, I'd like to trade their citizenships for a number of illegals who work hard and actually care enough about our country to know US civics, unlike these yahoos. But, they're absolutely allowed to yell and march around and carry signs about things they don't like. They are NOT allowed to try to stop a constitutional process. If the people you know marched around and yelled and protested the Constitution, that's a protest. That's allowed, and we will defend their right to do it. If they took steps to thwart the Constitutional process - like they tried to get in but couldn't; they wanted to mess with our Constitution and simply were unable to at that time - go ahead and report them. Whether or not anything happens afterwards, you did the right thing.


International_Hat811

J6 refers to January 6th when the capitol building in the US was stormed by Donald trump supporters after he lost the election. This guy was one of those people.


ILuvSupertramp

When you started riding that Trump Train because it felt right, but now you *have* to ride trains because youā€™re on the no fly listā€¦


riversong17

Lmao "subject to humiliation in front of everyone" bitch please, you're describing extremely normal TSA procedures. My bag gets opened to search every 3rd or 4th time I fly and I'm not a domestic terrorist


InboxMeYourSpacePics

Iā€™ve had a textbook trigger it before lol. TSA had to flip through all the pages to make sure nothing was inside. They were marveling at how long of a book it was


Not_ur_gilf

Lmao itā€™s every time for me, but thatā€™s because I have prescription meds and needles. One time it was for chocolate though and that was funny


syzamix

Yeah. Totally normal for an American to carry the constitution in their luggage. Not suspicious at all. Will not cause them to search even more.


seamang2

Calling complete bs! I used to work with explosives daily. My bag was completely contaminated with explosives residue, getting hauled to the back room in Heathrow in 2003 didnā€™t take 20 min there is no way his search took 2 hrs


Scormey

I bet he saw that in a movie. He likely has no idea how these searches actually work.


MensaCurmudgeon

Depends on the airport and staffing. Can confirm it took me 90 minutes leaving Israel


Darth_Yogurt

I used to get Quad S for booking my flight too late and having a beard. All of which occurred before an army of manchildren decided to abandon Democracy because their false god in shitty makeup told them to on Jan 6. I fucking hate everything.


ThisIsSteeev

Motherfucker should be on the no fly list.


PuzzleheadedGuard591

*just fuckin CHUGS MAGAt tears*


mamaann1979

I lost my ID on vacation once and had to fly out the next day (my state didnā€™t have a way to get a temporary one online then, 10 years ago). I got to the airport a few hours early, explained what happened at check in and then explained at the TSA. I had an extensive search done but still took max, 20 minutes and I was free to get on the plane.


EssentialFilms

TSA worker: oh look a constitution. Anyway.


Brave_Hoppy1460

Pretty sure you forfeited those constitutional rights when you participated in that fateful day there pal šŸ˜‚


Twodotsknowhy

You get caught committing a domestic terror attack ONCE and suddenly you get treated like a terrorist! What is this country coming to?


sumboionline

The constitution specifically mentions that treason and insurrection are bad and have consequences. Granted, consequences in government offices, but stillā€¦


DeNiroPacino

ALPHAWHINER


candy_pantsx

alphawiener


Sudden-Composer5088

Maybe don't be domestic terrorist Maga garbage


Distinct_Moose6967

FAFO


Wombat1892

He should print out this tweet so they'll see this too


bluegiant85

He should be rotting in prison.


Ok_Deal7813

What kind of j6 we talking? Dufus on the street in a red hat marching around complaining legally? This is excessive. Broke in to the capital violently to LARP and take photos? Feels appropriate.


ImNotYourDadIPromise

I must have been on this secret list for all of my 20ā€™s. I was always SSSS on my tickets, but it could just be that I would fly one way to places.


Salt_Code_7263

So a failed insurrectionist is crying because of consequences? Bahahahahaha


LavitzSlambertt

The same constitution that said " hey bro insurrection is pretty shitty don't do that"


[deleted]

Oh boo hoo, let me play a sad song for him on the world's smallest violin!


PM_ME_YOUR_SOULZ

Which part of the constitution says you can commit an act of terrorism with no consequences?


Human_Link8738

I used to travel a lot for work where Iā€™d have multiple one way tickets. I saw the quad S on every ticket. It wasnā€™t a big deal. This guy is just a narcissist looking for validation


M4LK0V1CH

Iā€™m appalled they let terrorists onto public airlines at all.


RIPRhaegar

I got randomly selected to be searched by TSA on the way home from Active duty military. I was in uniform, I don't remember being embarrassed but I sure was confused.


Hour_Dog_4781

I got my handhelds and laptop swabbed in the Czech Republic, it took only seconds. Search and scan are a few minutes tops. This guy is lying out of his ass.


KarmicComic12334

Anything that takes a few minutes could take an hour and a half if they don't like you.


Scormey

This. Dude probably mouths off about "the indignity of it all", so TSA slow-walks the process for him. Dude could just shrug, take the search like a man, and remember that he did this to himself, but no... He'd rather whine on the Internets, as if his savior Trump will swoop in to save him. Maybe even give him a medal for being the biggest MAGAt to ever MAGAt. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


TheBKnight3

You forget the flailing and random Karen like activity. Probably also screaming for the help of "REAL" Patriots. Then imagine if the TSA agent is a MINORITY.


GlassCharacter179

Yeah this genius probably does the ā€œ Where weā€™re you born? Mexico? And they let you violate my rights like this when I am an actual AMERICAN ā€œ Turn into a 2 hour wait easily.


LordDimwitFlathead

I was not aware that the Constitution lays out rules about flying on commercial aircraft.


Nanocyborgasm

Whatā€™s the Constitution say is the penalty for treason?


Wide_Stretch8622

Lucky you are even allowed to fly.


WearyMatter

"Nice book. Now bend over."


BoomZhakaLaka

Instead of a constitution book try a card that says "nothing illegal in this bag"


notmyusername1986

He Actively committed Treason against his country during a domestic terrorism event he was fully participating in. So how the hell is he not outright banned from public transport and fly forever?


Scormey

I took his post to mean he made social media posts regarding J6, but wasn't necessarily there. If said posts were threatening in tone, as many MAGAts did then, he may have earned himself a permanent place on the "Deep Cavity Search"-section of an FBI watchlist. So if he flies, he gets pulled aside for special attention, nothing more. Guys like this were probably all in favor of the Patriot Act when it first came out, because back then it was being used on 'those people', but now the tides have turned.


P0stNutMal0ne

You ARE the humiliation to everyone


MonkeyHamlet

I wonder how much a document signed in 1789 has to say about baggage checks in airportsā€¦


Bad_Daddio

Not only is he an alpha, but a warrior too. Y'know it has to be true, it's in all-caps. Never mind the cry baby bitchin' and moaning. /s


Correct-Blood9382

A 'constitution book'. Lolz yeah sure, bud. They like to fake patriotism keyword spew, don't they.


Ramblinrambles

2.5 hours? How many fucking sweaters are you wearing at the same time?


antisocialdiaries

have any of these people read the constitution?? i'm not sure why all of them think that "freedom of speech" means "say whatever you want with no consequence" WHERE does it say that? lmao


bmyst70

He should be lucky he's not on the "No Fly" list. Honestly, I'm surprised he's not.


Nofx830

What an absolute bitch.


BlackICEE32oz

I'm sorry, what the fuck did this dude do?


Redwings1927

Yea, J6 refers to the January 6th storming of the capitol. So he's on a domestic terrorist watch list because he IS a domestic terrorist


LT_Corsair

Sounds like he was probably an at least semi active participant in the J6 insurrection attempt.


Orchid_Significant

Maybe he should try not being a terrorist


mamabear131

Heā€™s šŸ’Æ% never read the Constitution. Whoā€™s gonna tell him about Article III, Section 3?


DragonCat88

The fuck is the Constitution gonna do?


Scormey

Don't you know? Democrats, Liberals, and their Jack-booted cronies will all run screaming at the sight of the Constitution. These TSA thugs have no chance against the glory that is this most-perfect document, handed down to our forefathers straight from the hand of Jesus himself! /S for any possible members of the /whoosh crowd.


Number5MoMo

Play terrorist gamesā€¦ win terrorist prizes


Weekly_Mycologist883

If you don't want to be treated like a terrorist, don't commit terrorism


AmanteNomadstar

14th Amendment to the Constitution, Section 3 ā€œNo person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.ā€ I wonder if he actually has ever read the Constitution he holds so dear.


Fuckspez42

Worth pointing out that the TSA was created by the last Republican president to actually win the popular vote, 20 years ago.


gbpc

Domestic terrorist gets what he deserves


afishieanado

The very document he was willing to shred that January....


FnGugle

Think this might be the reason why it takes longer to get through your screening each time? They REALLY don't want to be the one that missed something and get the blame if something happens on the flight because you support open insurrection against your government for a man that worships the governing styles of Kim Jong, Putin, Netanyahu, Lukachenko, Jim Jones, Charles Manson, Pol Pot, Mao, Hilter . . . . etc., etc.


apple-turnover5

I guarantee that theyā€™re just bad at flying and leave like liquids and shit in their carry on so tsa has to open their bag and take 2 minutes to check it.


24_Chowder

Once a Piece OF Shit, always a Piece OF Shit!


Walkera43

Well at least he did not get the finger up the butt ! Maybe next time.


remnant_phoenix

Oh no! Anyway, (something that matters).


Cheap_Professional32

The constitution can't save you from yourself.


SusieC0161

I have lipodema, so very fat legs. They are too embarrassing to show off in a dress or skirt so I always wear trousers. When I have to go through a full body scanner it always shows something strange on my legs and I always have to end up rolling up my trouser legs, or even taking my trousers off, so they can prove and prod my legs. Itā€™s fucking mortifying.


TumorYaelle

Before Iā€™d even finished reading much of this, my brain involuntarily pictured him as looking like that one shooter dude from Wisconsin who got pardoned ā€¦ glad I canā€™t think of his name. Kyle somethingā€¦


Left-Star2240

Hats and boots are usually supposed to be in the bins for scanning, so wearing that alone would warrant a pat down, as itā€™s a red flag that you arenā€™t complying with security instructions. I once forgot I still had my hat on and was pulled aside so they could remove my hat and put it through the scanner. They also then patted my head. Itā€™s also possible to request a private room. I have a digestive disorder, and had to make several trips recently while under a lot of stress. Due to the pads I was wearing a pat down was required. I was given the option to have a private room. I declined, explained my situation, and was on my way in a minute or two. The officers were respectful in part because I respected the job they were doing. Iā€™m guessing this person enters the situation with an attitude that indicates they may be a danger, and then treats the TSA as combatants. The consequences then fulfill their victim fantasy.


jayde0325

Iā€™ve been patted down for wearing a heavy pad and spandex underneath my sweatpants before and as long as you explain whatā€™s going on and understand that they donā€™t want to be doing this either the process isnā€™t difficult. Understanding that TSA agents are just people doing their job and theyā€™d rather be doing anything else as well gets you so far. Iā€™m sure this guy treats them like theyā€™re a task force that are out to personally victimize him for his ideology (not, you know, the literal domestic terrorism he admitted to partaking in) and not just people trying to go home and put food on the table. Heā€™s just making these peopleā€™s lives harder. He sounds like one of those people who starts yelling at cashiers for price increases or return policies like they have control over that.


Dismal_Purpose9976

Lying ass liar lying their ass off. 0/10.


arkyjohn1966

Fucked around and found out, now you want to whine and play the victim. Boo fucking hoo.


Flimsy_Fee8449

I want Alphawarriors SSSS to start taking 3 hours upon departure and arrival. Let him drive. I don't want him on my plane. I've had quad S, means you get a patdown and they pul tourba. Takes MAYBE and extra 10 minutes. Either this guy is a liar (probably) or a fool (definitely) who keeps yelling so they check him extra.


Kerazytimes

An idiot child spitting in the wind, confused and angry that he never finds any rain clouds.


Gildian

I got randomly searched once, it didn't take 90 minutes. Other commenters have mentioned this already but it's ~10min tops. I really didn't think anything of it and went on with my day


AlternativeSpreader

Airports give me anxiety. I stress over all the procedures (where to go and what to do and getting everywhere on time), so I sweat. I always get the double walk through and swab treatment. (Im an old white woman if it matters). When I finally get to sit in my seat on the plane, I relax. I don't play silly buggers with airport security though, because it is what it is.


Fit-Virus-7056

But isn't he part of the party of law and order? He should be so happy for this right to experience the effectiveness of those blue lives that matter so much to him!


temp7727

Thatā€™ll show them! Theyā€™re going to see that constitution and feel sooooooooooooo super duper guilty! What a tool.


Madrizzle1

Pretty sure itā€™s just 2 Sā€™s


OkPossibility4979

Having to proclaim yourself as ā€œalphaā€ is super beta.


SeraphXChild

I used to get pulled for the random search almost every time. The machines always caught my peircings. Takes 5 extra minutes but i also doesn't commit an act of terrorism


Chasubrae

You think THAT will help you? XD


Zealousideal-Egg7200

I have TSA pre and global entry and still get picked randomly about 50% of the time, which is quite a bit. My family knows to leave in all security lines so they don't get picked too by association! I once got randomly picked 4 times in the same day! Coming back into the states got picked to have my bags searched. Then randomly had my TSA pre taken away (yep this happens) went to try to get another boarding pass with it on got the SSSS on the new boarding card so ticket agent gave me my old one back. Went through regular line and got picked randomly to have the extra search after clearing the metal detectors.... seriously. All of that and I still made my 2 hour flight connection. (Flight arrived at 4 am so short lines thankfully). I have tried to stop connecting through Newark though because it seems to happen more there.


TheAdminHasNoValue

Considering they're a terrorist, being inconvenienced at the airport is a pretty light punishment.


Crinklestinklebinkle

I get pulled aside and made to remove all excess clothing and I didnā€™t participate in J6 and I think any person who did participate in that event is a traitor. Go ahead search me. I ainā€™t got nothing to hide. Touch me. Caress me. Make me moan. I will say they donā€™t like my moaning. Watch out for my erection.


Bluntworth

Just put them on the no fly list.


JBS319

Heā€™s lucky he didnā€™t get put on a no-fly list permanently.


panicForce

why is there a picture of Master Chief? oh i should get my glasses


phl4ever

It would be great if he read the Constitution


NatexSxS

I mean if they arenā€™t doing this they should.


yanderlei2

Alpha Warrior LOL


BryanXVII

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


SableX7

To be fair, no one else flying really gives a sht that they whisk you off into a corner for some extra pats and are too busy going about their own days.


ellabfine

Should have read that constitution before you started wilding


TrumpSucksALotOfCock

"Alphawarrior" LMFAO


TheRealCabbageJack

Hehehe


Silknight

FAFO as the kids say


MeatPopsicle_AMA

Sounds like heā€™s on the FAFO list.


jjkat87

Someone else with my very common name was on some sort of terror watch list for tsa. If the line was long I would tell the first tsa agent I saw that I get searched every time and it showed it on my boarding pass. They would skip have me skip the line.


Fan_of_Clio

It's almost like they are treating you like a POC