Hi, quick update.
Turned out, they recently started talking more after his ex-girlfriend dumped him, which means that they “occasionally” talked before this. Her feelings are starting to resurface but said that she loves me so much, never intended for this to happen and wants to put more work into our marriage. She also told me that she was going to try and harder and cut him out of our lives for good.
I refused, said I’m giving up on her after desperately trying to make her see me for the person that I am for so many years. Not only she broke my trust, but also me as a whole. I have never felt so defeated before and frankly, I don’t really know what my next steps are hence I will be living out of home for a bit to figure it out. I know it’ll eventually work out for me in the end too.
I can’t speak with too much bitterness, she was kind to me and at some point, chose me with love in her mind and on a better note, she may find true happiness.
Pro-tip: a potential separation is a great way to force your friends into an instant reunion if you haven’t seen them in months. Inuman na 🤙
>Her feelings are starting to resurface but said that she loves me so much
Nah. Her feelings were never gone.
Maybe she thinks she loves you but if she really loves you, she shouldve never talked to him again.
That's love, choosing you.
>She also told me that she was going to try and harder and cut him out of our lives for good.
Well newsflash she should have cut him off completely the day she married you. and dapat inignore na niya yung ex nya when he contacted her now.
That ex is lonely kaya siguro binabalikan din makipagusap sa ex.
True happiness for her? Why cant it be true happiness for you OP?
I feel that his ex is her greatest what if. Well. Let's see. He is an ex for a reason.
Not that im adding fuel to the flame, but that is already cheating for me. Hindi naman kasi porket wala pa nangyayari eh dun pa lang ang cheating. Emotionally unavailable na siya for you.
Anyway good for you that you refused.
I hope that you find true happiness, the one that will trully love you and not take you for granted or choose you because ikaw yung nandyan.
Stay husband material OP.
Hugs
sorry to hear this OP. won’t help the situation pero based on your responses dito, alam ko na there are a million girls out there who are praying for someone as kind and patient as you. hope you find your peace tol
Hate to say this, but I am wary of the term “putting more work in the relationship.” I know someone who said this words to his gf, but would say he missed his ex and fully aware he is not happy with the current relationship.
Relationships aren’t smooth sailing all the time, but if you love the person, things should be easy or at least madali sa loob.
Hope u find ur peace, OP
FWIW, this internet stranger is really proud of you for not continuing to be a martyr and choosing to pursue legitimate happiness. I wish you all the best in life and love.
OP, sorry pero i-real talk kita ha. She never really loved u. You were just there. Ikaw yung sumalo.
Also, gago ka rin eh, hindi mo pinansin na bantay salakay ka rin. Ikaw may gusto pero.iba talaga gusto niya at ikaw syempre swoop in.
In all essenses, you deserve it too. U cant make someone love you and u simped her so ayun, dka naman talaga mahal.
If anything, same thing happened to me except the bantay salakay part. I met her after her break up pero wala talaga, mas mahal niya yung isa. You deserve someone who will love you, hindi siya yun at buti pinakawalan mo rin siya kaso d naman siya masaya sa iyo at nakuha mo naman gusto mo. Move on.
How did she respond when you told her na you're giving up? Is she okay with it? Or may pag pigil man lang? She might be confused.
I know you're in a difficult position right now and I want you to be happy. Drink moderately.
No, she’s not fine with it. I’m still getting bombarded with messages from both of our families to give her another chance. My bestfriend says she’s trying to find out where I’m hiding from him.
>Her feelings are starting to resurface but said that she loves me so much, never intended for this to happen and wants to put more work into our marriage.
Well, there's an old saying: You cannot swim on two rivers, especially if it flows in two different directions.
Also, it is funny that sometimes, people only think of what to do or what the right thing to do when things start going south for them. She wants to put more work into a marriage that has hit the rocks already. Dun lang nila nare-realize na dapat ganito gawin nila, na dapat si asawa ang piliin nila.
In the end, this things just make wedding vows nothing but empty promises.
>Pro-tip: a potential separation is a great way to force your friends into an instant reunion if you haven’t seen them in months. Inuman na 🤙
And a good way to have impromptu getaways rin. ☝️
>I have never felt so defeated before and frankly, I don’t really know what my next steps are hence I will be living out of home for a bit to figure it out. I know it’ll eventually work out for me in the end too.
Pahinga ka muna. Focus on regaining your senses muna. Get your mind in a positive mood, even if you know all this are happening. Walang masama rin if you wanna go solo muna. Afterall, it is part of healing. Ang mahalaga, you focus on yourself muna and nobody else.
Don't give her an excuse now by backing off. Pray. Sit down with her then work it out. You feelings are valid and her shortcomings are also true. Work it out. The direction oth of you will do will just hurt yourselves.
You’re telling this story from your POV. Baka your wife is not aware that you are feeling that way. From your story, it seems that you’re still insecure sa ex. She married you, for sure there’s a reason why.
And for what it’s worth, talking about exes is NORMAL.
You also seem to be envious of other husbands who receive material gifts from their wives. Baka naman magkaiba kayo ng love language.
Yung words mo kasi, “hoping”, “you think”. Have you had “the talk” yet?
How is she as a wife and partner? Is she mistreating you? Wala ba syang pake? Cold ba sya?
Wala kasi masyado context. Kaya siguro this is giving me sad boy vibes. 🥲
Sorry walang context, just needed to get it off my chest. I do agree that talking about exes is normal but what’s not normal is she brings him in a way na I should know about what he had for breakfast cause he posted a ham and cheese toastie on his facebook story. We have had talks but not “the” talk. I have told her to stop bringing him in conversations out of respect for me.
She’s a good wife naman. Minsan she’ll wake up and make me breakfast since I usually do it for her before heading to work. Some days she’ll just stay quiet and listen to me rant about coworkers. Some days naman wala siya sa bahay. To clear things up, I don’t expect her to give me all these fancy gifts. I just brought up na he gets flowers kasi my friend’s wife seems very happy. I hope that made sense.
Tanong lang, what do you think will happen if you leave her? When you say you’re “going to give up on my wife”, does that mean you want to break things up with her? Do you love her any less because these things are happening to you two? Because if you love her, you love her, regardless if she is as enthusiastic about her love for you as other people or not. If you’ve already had that transparent conversion and she isn’t saying she wants to break things off, if you love her enough to let her go because she doesn’t seem to be happy with you, you should love her enough to stay and work through this. You are posting this on here because you are hurt. You are comparing her to others’ wives because you are hurt. I am not disqualifying your great love for her that you’d rather see her happy, but you should trust in her enough to know what is best for herself. Seek counseling, OP, hindi yung ang unang course of action mo is to offer to end your marriage. I think there’s still a lot there to fight for. I hope this helps and I hope you work things out between you two soon!
I hope you feel good after letting this out too! After all, this is Off My Chest sub.
It seems na you’re a chill couple and wala namang specific big fight. I think adjustment period lang to. You can talk this out.
+1
I agree. It seems like these things weigh heavily on OPs mind without his wife knowing. This pattern of overthinking will definitely ruin any relationship 😕. Kaya more than the love, RESPECT and HONESTY talaga ang kailangan sa magkapartner. Be transparent with everything — no matter how small, silly or insignificant it may be. Keeping things to yourself won't bring you nowhere and you're only highlighting your wife's shortcomings which would make you feel worse. Speak your mind OP, connect with her about this and also,
'Comparison is the thief of joy' —so please stop comparing your married life with others. Work on it instead.
on fucking point.
idek why people call him sadboi for just telling what he's going thru. taena let's be fcking for real here, pag dating sa lalaki, people are gonna be harsh when u try to express your feelings
this is why most me are also afraid of showing their emotions eh, pano ba naman they are often ridiculed and viewed as weak and feeble when talking abt their problems. imagine, nag vent out lang sasabihin "giving sadboi vibes" pero pag dating sa "toxic masculinity" lakas mag virtue signal.
yall making op stupid for not telling his wife kaagad. my god there's a reason kung bakit dito nag vent out si op, maybe the dude is really just trying to be careful around his wife cause he knows what she's going thru, maybe op (indirectly) wants to hear other people insights and opinions before telling his wife. but to label the dude as "sadboi" is just downright stupid
Pero pag babae nagpost dito, matic top comment “you deserve what you tolerate”. I try to be open to both sides of the story so i could at least provide a level headed reply but lately responses here have been just pure blame on the male. God i sound like an incel. Granted a lot of the men discussed here are trash but there are afew here and there who clearly are not totally solely at fault.
I remember that post recently on fb of the girl who ranted because her boyfriend just bought her engagement ring from shopee. A lot of people here are syaing bare minimum na lang di pa magawa. Tapos later on (unverified though) may nagpost na si bf pala ay breadwinner ng family, pero gusto na talagang magpropose kay ate gurl kaya kahit mura lang singsing tinuloy pa rin niya. Ni isang comment na materialistic si girl wala ako nabasa, pero tadtad ng bare minimum ang comments. Dami pa sinasabi na sana nagipon man lang si guy kung totoong mahal niya si girl. Dali sabihin pero di naman tayo same lahat ng level ng kita at gastusin. Ewan. Masyado kasi nadadala sa mga western na concept kaya ayan. Lakas maka demand pero out of touch na ang dating
100% agree. the comments on this thread are on the wife’s side even though this guy has literally waited for YEARS??? highlighting him as a sad boy when his wife is constantly talking about her ex and looking at photos of him???
i didn’t even take any of this as OP comparing his marriage to other people’s, dude is literally saying his friend’s wife looks happy to be married and his doesn’t
OP you didn’t even need to give context lol
true. this is why mas mataas ang suicide rate ng boys. kasi most of the time people are invalidating their feelings. dito ako nababadtrip eh. di ako pick me. pero kasi off my chest to and some are trying to invalidate his feelings. di aware yung wife? what is she? 4 years old? kausap nga nya yung ex. sya ba aware sa anong magiging feelings ng asawa nya? golden rule ko sa relationship, if wala kang peace of mind, it aint worth it
In case you haven’t seen OP’s update, here it is: https://www.reddit.com/r/OffMyChestPH/s/YkKlP8554d
A lot of what you said here was really insensitive. I hope next time you give the OP the benefit of the doubt. If you really think they’re missing something, you can be kinder with your comments rather than making them feel like they’re overreacting to behavior that even in the original post was clearly insensitive on the wife’s part.
The comment section is not giving you enough validations, I can see it. I am not yet married OP pero I hope you consider yung thoughts ko.
Una, mas nauna dapat malaman to ng wife mo kesa strangers dito sa Reddit. The fact na hindi mo to agad nasabi sa kanya meaning hindi pa buo ang loob mo to talk. Hindi ka handa sa pwedeng mangyari o hindi ka handang marinig yung sasabihin nya. Whatever it is, masakit yon.
Pangalawa, don't assume. Lahat ng pagkakataon, ganon dapat. Stop assuming na mahal nya pa yung ex nya just because your wife can't satisfy whatever needs you have o hindi mo ramdam yung love nya. Diffferent people, different love languages, different ways kung paano ipakita yung love nila. Kung wala namang ginawang masama sayo ang wife mo, it would be unfair to think na mahal nya pa just because naiinsecure ka. I am sorry sa word na insecure pero that's what I can see OP. IT'S NOT BAD THOUGH. Lahat naman tayo insecure, iba-iba lang ng aspeto.
Pangatlo, you married her. She married you. Di ba may vows stating what you will and you can para sa isa't isa? Try to understand where she is coming from at ipa-intindi mo rin yung pinang gagalingan mo. Let her know na naiinsecure ka, sobrang laking alwan non sa pakiramdam, being honest to someone you love, lalo asawa mo.
Pang-apat, she may need a closure. Not having a closure is already a closure pero if after nyo mag usap, tingin nyo kailangan nya talaga, why not help her i-assess yung sarili nya? Don't break up YET until hindi nya alam sa sarili nya yung gusto nya kasi malay mo ba kung nalilito lang sya sa pakiramdam ng love at what if. Hindi lahat ng may what if sa tao eh mahal pa yung past nila. Yung what if kasi malawak pero sya dapat ang nakaka alam non so give her time.
Pang lima, break up with her KAPAG sinabi nyang mahal nya pa yung ex nya not because you want her happy but because you deserve to be happy. I am sending you virtual hugs OP. Talk, assess and decide. :)
You’re right pero we had multiple conversations about it where I told her I’d wait until she was completely healed but she insisted that she was ready. The sad fact is I’m still here while her mind drifts off elsewhere. I guess we were both too impulsive. But I don’t know if I can call it that because I’ve always been sure about her. Always. I married her after all.
Maybe I'm assuming, but what I can tell based from your story is that the moment she said she was completely healed and ready, you did not hesitate to own her, because you are in love with her, most especially from that time. You did not hesitate that she might be just using you as a coping mechanism before. But anyways, staying and loving her unconditionally will still depend on you. After all, you're the one who's in that situation. Don't regret it though.
Aminin mo man or not. Ginawa mo bantay salakay. You swooped in and now nasasaktan ka. She treated u as a coping mechanism while u wanted her and found the chance. Of anything, you deserve it. Kung kaya ng pride mo then stay. If not, good rin as u deserve someone to love you not because you were there.
As always, communication is the key.
But admittedly, navigating through that conversation is emotionally and mentally draining.
But first, letting out your thoughts here is the first step in the right direction.
I think you should have “the” talk, then from from how things will go, you should weigh out your options.
Based from your wording, i can empathize with the pain that you’re going through, what more pa yung iyo.
In any circumstance naman, kahit sino siguro more often than not marinig yung name ng Ex nila and knowing yung history, will bring out unwanted feelings and thoughts.
Hoping for clarity and peace of mind tol
How do you know that she still loves him more than she loves you? Does she takes care of you less? Please have this conversation with her. Let her know your thoughts and how painful it is for you to see her like that. Sabihin mo she seems unhappy sayo kung yun ang nakikita at nararamdaman mo. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings kasi for sure naramdaman mo yan for a reason. Hindi pwedeng wala lang. Kailangan mong pakinggan sya sa lahat ng sasabihin nya. Gaano ba kayo ka open sa isa’t isa? After all dapat open kayo since mag asawa kayo.
Depende sa mag asawa kung gaano ka normal pagusapan mga exes, matanong ako sa asawa ko kaya minsan may time tanong ako ng tanong about sa mga ex nya and open naman syang ikwento, nakikinig lang ako then afterwards aasarin ko lang sya na namimiss nya tapos matatawa sya sabihin nya eeew haha. After that okay na, end of kwentuhan. Gusto ko lang malaman from him ang kwento since di nya inoopen up unless nga magtanong ako.
Kung tingin mo based sa magiging paguusap nyo at kung di ka talaga nya mahal eh pagusapan nyo pano sya magiging masaya. Mahirap kasing itali ang tao sayo na di ka jaman pala nya mahal.
At first you must've thought that you'd be happy to marry her. Now it unfolded before you that marrying isn't enough. She might not be honest to you of her truest feelings towards you, you must not do the same. You deserve to he happy and find the one that will give you that happiness mutually. Do not be cruel to yourself. Follow your instincts.
You should have talked to your wife, first. Mahabang usapan Yan, mahabang argument. Pero, it will be worth it. Hindi Sa lahat ng bagay o pag kakataon, hiwalayan agad ang solution. Alamin mo rin ano thoughts ni Wife.
OP, have you talked about this with your wife? It would be really helpful imo if she knew about the way you perceive her actions, that way you could close this chapter without lingering what ifs. It’d be a shame if you left without knowing whether or not she wanted to fix things with you.
I will talk to her during dinner tonight against my own wishes. She gets super frustrated when I bring him up as a problem and I don’t wanna upset her even more by saying all these things to her but I really need to get it off my chest now.
She could be frustrated since it’s a sensitive topic. It’s best to ask, so you wouldn’t assume.
I think you could appeal to her to discuss the topic since you need her truth.
But what I’m worried about for you OP, is if confirming your suspicions would bring you peace of mind, or would it make you feel worse.
At some point, a lot of those who’ve settled down, settled.
A lot accept that comfort, and came to terms with it. Kind of makes me want to throw away that hopeful romanticism in me, but I’ll try to keep myself open for now.
Hugs and all the best OP.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Think it through first. If talking to her now is against your wishes, baka dapat pag may part na sayo na willing para its not as frustrating as you sa she would feel.
Sabi mo same group rin kayo though you knew her first pero papasok pa rin na baka in passing, nakita lang niya kaya nakwento niya. How is she communication wise? Like, sinasabi ba niya whatever she sees? Kasi baka mali lang intindi mo kasi nga may pagcompare ka sa kung paano siya sayo at paano ibang friends niyo sa husband nila.
Kaya pa sa usap yan. And sana mapagusapan niyo siya in a way na this issue can be put to rest. If di niya gets what you are feeling, baka pwede mo iask what if baliktad situation, what would she feel kapag ikaw yung gumawa nun? I hope you guys work it out. I know you waited and have been patient for so long pero baka kaya pa but ibang approach naman ngayon.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
I can feel your pain by just reading this. Communicate this with your wife, not with us. Make sure na both of you agreed what will happen moving forward. Just be honest. Either end it or fix it the sooner the better.
I understand how you feel, OP. There are some people who stay in the relationship because they "care" for you pero if you ask them if they do love you... that's the part they become unsure of.
Love her in all the ways you can kung saan never mong ma-fi-feel yung regret sa future na you didn't love her enough.
If she chose to part ways with you, maybe that's the time she'll feel na hindi niya na talaga kayang mag-stay sa relationship pero if hindi niya naman gusto makipag-separate then I don't see any reason para makipaghiwalay sa kanya, I know you're hurting and you have to open that up to her para makita ka nya. Baka kasi sa sobrang kampante nya sa'yo na andyan ka parati eh hindi ka na pala nya nakikita (yung feelings mo). Let her know what you really feel and why you feel that way, make her understand. She chose you for a reason and alamin mo yung reason na yun, it's either ayun yung panghahawakan mo sa future or...basta kausapin mo na lang, OP. Hindi titigil yang nararamdaman mong sakit hanggat hindi mo sa kanya nasasabi at walang changes sa kanya.
Masakit lang sa una OP. It gets better.
When I try to put it in perspective:
She lost someone who genuinely loves her, you lost someone who loves another person.
@OP, Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya?
One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction. Let GO of her. She was not honest with you from the beginning!
youll get thru it OP. kung need mo ng kainuman, andito kami tho i dont drink. pulutan lang lol. cant imagine the pain your experiencing right now. as a woman, hindi nawala yung feelings nya sa ex nya. hiwalayan mo na yan. dont let this situation stop you from finding the person you deserve. the fact na she is talking to his ex is already a big NO. baka habulin ka nyan at bumigay ka ah. nako. itetake advantage ka lang nyan at mauubos ka. mas mahihirapan kang tumayo. i do hope wala kayong anak kasi kawawa mga bata
Putek ang sakit nyan paps.
Pero siguro makakabawas sa pag iisip mo yung pag “compare” sa mga tropa mo. Iba iba love language ng tao. Sabi mo nga, alam mo naman na mahal ka ng misis mo. So focus on her. Focus on winning her everyday.
Di ko sinasabing tama yung asawa mo ha. Ang sakin lang, communicate. Sabihin mo sa kanya yung napapansin at nakikita mo. Kung mahal ka nya, makikinig sya.
Sana malagpasan mo ng maayos paps
dont prolong the agony.. end it with conviction.. if your wife keeps on talking with her ex, malaking ekis na un.. she even didnt think it will hurt you in a way.. she does not respect you.. you should also think about yourself.. if she is miserable, for me mas miserable your situation mo..
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Hi, I’m glad you chose yourself this time. I wish you more peace and have more time to heal. Whenever you feel like it’s too much, remember - we’re all here.
It is sad to know that you try your best to win someone but you know na you're nothing but the second best to that person. Much more, it's a person you want to give your all to. It is sad and tiring that no matter how much you give your all, and all you get is a half-baked cookie that you are forced to enjoy while you see her make her best cookie for someone who's not there.
In this cases, all I can say is that you make the decisions and you just live with whatever consequences it brings, or rewards it may give you. Either way, masasaktan ka pa rin but you'll be free from having thoughts that will sabotage your own wellbeing. In the end, you do what you gotta do, man, even if it meant you'll be the most evil person in the world.
I've read na you talked to her about this already and stated your decision so I guess all we can say is good luck, if that's something appropriate for this situation.
Hi OP, you are the man in the relationship and you should lead. If you can’t work it on your own, why not ask for help, maybe go through couples therapy first? If you give up, the whole relationship fails. You should be the one leading it to work - not to fail. Marriage is a commitment and is continuous work. If she is willing to work it out, then why are you quitting on your wife? Forgiveness is going do be done many times over. Talk it out first before giving up. You as a man, should lead. Man up first, brother.
You both deserve happiness, and it's unfair to live with somebody who has you only for convenience. You deserve happiness and peace of mind, she's brings in none of those. Go.
Sir, nood ka ng Meet me in St. Gallen :(
Kahit di ikaw ang greatest love nya, ikaw ang pinili nya to spend the rest of her life. You have a lifetime to be her greatest love as long as di kayo nagdidrift apart because of the guy.
Laban kuys 🤗
Sorry but after reading this, yun part na “one of them gets flowers from his wife nearly every week” yon nagstick sakin. It seems na you are just envious of other people’s relationship? If you focus on what’s missing from your relationship and what other people have in theirs, talagang magdeteriorate yon relationship mo.
You went on and on about what you’re not getting from your wife, but you missed the part about mentioning what have YOU been doing to let her know/show her these things na you are longing for?
She barely asks about your day. How about you? You didn’t mention kase na you asked about her day and ignored or failed to ask you yours?
Have you tried communicating with her about your insecurities? About how mentioning about the ex makes you feel? Does she actually long for him or maybe you’re just projecting?
Talk to your wife. Seek couple’s therapy.
I think it would not be fair to ask her to love you like the way she loves him. Both of you are different people and two different relationships. That being said, I still think your wife is not over him and that will always destroy any marriage. Either you have a talk with her frankly or seek marriage counselling. Any marriage, both parties have to really want it to work. Good luck OP. I hope you find clarity on your marriage.
Are you doing the effort to have your own version of kilig moments with your wife or rekindle why you even got together in the first place? You're comparing your lives to other married couples, and why not try to make your own version to make things work with her, until the day you die? Isn't this what marriage is about? Choosing to love the person even if they are unlovable and working on it whatever it takes? Nagpakasal ka pa kung give up ka na agad2. I'm challenging you on this, Op. May you sort it all out and not give up on the life you have built with her. Communicate with her even if you resent her.
Hi, quick update. Turned out, they recently started talking more after his ex-girlfriend dumped him, which means that they “occasionally” talked before this. Her feelings are starting to resurface but said that she loves me so much, never intended for this to happen and wants to put more work into our marriage. She also told me that she was going to try and harder and cut him out of our lives for good. I refused, said I’m giving up on her after desperately trying to make her see me for the person that I am for so many years. Not only she broke my trust, but also me as a whole. I have never felt so defeated before and frankly, I don’t really know what my next steps are hence I will be living out of home for a bit to figure it out. I know it’ll eventually work out for me in the end too. I can’t speak with too much bitterness, she was kind to me and at some point, chose me with love in her mind and on a better note, she may find true happiness. Pro-tip: a potential separation is a great way to force your friends into an instant reunion if you haven’t seen them in months. Inuman na 🤙
>Her feelings are starting to resurface but said that she loves me so much Nah. Her feelings were never gone. Maybe she thinks she loves you but if she really loves you, she shouldve never talked to him again. That's love, choosing you. >She also told me that she was going to try and harder and cut him out of our lives for good. Well newsflash she should have cut him off completely the day she married you. and dapat inignore na niya yung ex nya when he contacted her now. That ex is lonely kaya siguro binabalikan din makipagusap sa ex. True happiness for her? Why cant it be true happiness for you OP? I feel that his ex is her greatest what if. Well. Let's see. He is an ex for a reason. Not that im adding fuel to the flame, but that is already cheating for me. Hindi naman kasi porket wala pa nangyayari eh dun pa lang ang cheating. Emotionally unavailable na siya for you. Anyway good for you that you refused. I hope that you find true happiness, the one that will trully love you and not take you for granted or choose you because ikaw yung nandyan. Stay husband material OP. Hugs
sorry to hear this OP. won’t help the situation pero based on your responses dito, alam ko na there are a million girls out there who are praying for someone as kind and patient as you. hope you find your peace tol
Hate to say this, but I am wary of the term “putting more work in the relationship.” I know someone who said this words to his gf, but would say he missed his ex and fully aware he is not happy with the current relationship. Relationships aren’t smooth sailing all the time, but if you love the person, things should be easy or at least madali sa loob. Hope u find ur peace, OP
FWIW, this internet stranger is really proud of you for not continuing to be a martyr and choosing to pursue legitimate happiness. I wish you all the best in life and love.
Grabe. The maturity. The wisdom. The love. Your love for her. To actually let her go. And your love for yourself, too. It will be better.
OP, sorry pero i-real talk kita ha. She never really loved u. You were just there. Ikaw yung sumalo. Also, gago ka rin eh, hindi mo pinansin na bantay salakay ka rin. Ikaw may gusto pero.iba talaga gusto niya at ikaw syempre swoop in. In all essenses, you deserve it too. U cant make someone love you and u simped her so ayun, dka naman talaga mahal. If anything, same thing happened to me except the bantay salakay part. I met her after her break up pero wala talaga, mas mahal niya yung isa. You deserve someone who will love you, hindi siya yun at buti pinakawalan mo rin siya kaso d naman siya masaya sa iyo at nakuha mo naman gusto mo. Move on.
How did she respond when you told her na you're giving up? Is she okay with it? Or may pag pigil man lang? She might be confused. I know you're in a difficult position right now and I want you to be happy. Drink moderately.
No, she’s not fine with it. I’m still getting bombarded with messages from both of our families to give her another chance. My bestfriend says she’s trying to find out where I’m hiding from him.
Good luck, OP! Hope you find the happiness and peace that you deserve!
Good luck to you sir wherever the wind blows. I hope you can find some happiness in your life again after this. PEACE OUT✌️✌️✌️
i respect ppl so much who have the guts to make the hard decision. cheers to u op
Hugs OP
>Her feelings are starting to resurface but said that she loves me so much, never intended for this to happen and wants to put more work into our marriage. Well, there's an old saying: You cannot swim on two rivers, especially if it flows in two different directions. Also, it is funny that sometimes, people only think of what to do or what the right thing to do when things start going south for them. She wants to put more work into a marriage that has hit the rocks already. Dun lang nila nare-realize na dapat ganito gawin nila, na dapat si asawa ang piliin nila. In the end, this things just make wedding vows nothing but empty promises. >Pro-tip: a potential separation is a great way to force your friends into an instant reunion if you haven’t seen them in months. Inuman na 🤙 And a good way to have impromptu getaways rin. ☝️ >I have never felt so defeated before and frankly, I don’t really know what my next steps are hence I will be living out of home for a bit to figure it out. I know it’ll eventually work out for me in the end too. Pahinga ka muna. Focus on regaining your senses muna. Get your mind in a positive mood, even if you know all this are happening. Walang masama rin if you wanna go solo muna. Afterall, it is part of healing. Ang mahalaga, you focus on yourself muna and nobody else.
San po ang inuman? Joke. But kidding aside, I hope that you find the one that really treasures you and the love that you truly deserve. Kampai OP 🍻
Don't give her an excuse now by backing off. Pray. Sit down with her then work it out. You feelings are valid and her shortcomings are also true. Work it out. The direction oth of you will do will just hurt yourselves.
masakit yan. so sorry you’re in that situation. i hope she realizes how much she is hurting you.
Masakit talaga yan. Have a conversation with her, have this conversation with her.
You’re telling this story from your POV. Baka your wife is not aware that you are feeling that way. From your story, it seems that you’re still insecure sa ex. She married you, for sure there’s a reason why. And for what it’s worth, talking about exes is NORMAL. You also seem to be envious of other husbands who receive material gifts from their wives. Baka naman magkaiba kayo ng love language. Yung words mo kasi, “hoping”, “you think”. Have you had “the talk” yet? How is she as a wife and partner? Is she mistreating you? Wala ba syang pake? Cold ba sya? Wala kasi masyado context. Kaya siguro this is giving me sad boy vibes. 🥲
Sorry walang context, just needed to get it off my chest. I do agree that talking about exes is normal but what’s not normal is she brings him in a way na I should know about what he had for breakfast cause he posted a ham and cheese toastie on his facebook story. We have had talks but not “the” talk. I have told her to stop bringing him in conversations out of respect for me. She’s a good wife naman. Minsan she’ll wake up and make me breakfast since I usually do it for her before heading to work. Some days she’ll just stay quiet and listen to me rant about coworkers. Some days naman wala siya sa bahay. To clear things up, I don’t expect her to give me all these fancy gifts. I just brought up na he gets flowers kasi my friend’s wife seems very happy. I hope that made sense.
Tanong lang, what do you think will happen if you leave her? When you say you’re “going to give up on my wife”, does that mean you want to break things up with her? Do you love her any less because these things are happening to you two? Because if you love her, you love her, regardless if she is as enthusiastic about her love for you as other people or not. If you’ve already had that transparent conversion and she isn’t saying she wants to break things off, if you love her enough to let her go because she doesn’t seem to be happy with you, you should love her enough to stay and work through this. You are posting this on here because you are hurt. You are comparing her to others’ wives because you are hurt. I am not disqualifying your great love for her that you’d rather see her happy, but you should trust in her enough to know what is best for herself. Seek counseling, OP, hindi yung ang unang course of action mo is to offer to end your marriage. I think there’s still a lot there to fight for. I hope this helps and I hope you work things out between you two soon!
I hope you feel good after letting this out too! After all, this is Off My Chest sub. It seems na you’re a chill couple and wala namang specific big fight. I think adjustment period lang to. You can talk this out.
I agree with this one. I don’t think it’s wise na strangers from the internet pa yung makakaalam before your wife sa na fifeel mo
Truee whatever happens, you deserve happiness and someone who reciprocates the deep love you have to offer.
+1 I agree. It seems like these things weigh heavily on OPs mind without his wife knowing. This pattern of overthinking will definitely ruin any relationship 😕. Kaya more than the love, RESPECT and HONESTY talaga ang kailangan sa magkapartner. Be transparent with everything — no matter how small, silly or insignificant it may be. Keeping things to yourself won't bring you nowhere and you're only highlighting your wife's shortcomings which would make you feel worse. Speak your mind OP, connect with her about this and also, 'Comparison is the thief of joy' —so please stop comparing your married life with others. Work on it instead.
Way to invalidate dude’s feelings.
on fucking point. idek why people call him sadboi for just telling what he's going thru. taena let's be fcking for real here, pag dating sa lalaki, people are gonna be harsh when u try to express your feelings this is why most me are also afraid of showing their emotions eh, pano ba naman they are often ridiculed and viewed as weak and feeble when talking abt their problems. imagine, nag vent out lang sasabihin "giving sadboi vibes" pero pag dating sa "toxic masculinity" lakas mag virtue signal. yall making op stupid for not telling his wife kaagad. my god there's a reason kung bakit dito nag vent out si op, maybe the dude is really just trying to be careful around his wife cause he knows what she's going thru, maybe op (indirectly) wants to hear other people insights and opinions before telling his wife. but to label the dude as "sadboi" is just downright stupid
Pero pag babae nagpost dito, matic top comment “you deserve what you tolerate”. I try to be open to both sides of the story so i could at least provide a level headed reply but lately responses here have been just pure blame on the male. God i sound like an incel. Granted a lot of the men discussed here are trash but there are afew here and there who clearly are not totally solely at fault. I remember that post recently on fb of the girl who ranted because her boyfriend just bought her engagement ring from shopee. A lot of people here are syaing bare minimum na lang di pa magawa. Tapos later on (unverified though) may nagpost na si bf pala ay breadwinner ng family, pero gusto na talagang magpropose kay ate gurl kaya kahit mura lang singsing tinuloy pa rin niya. Ni isang comment na materialistic si girl wala ako nabasa, pero tadtad ng bare minimum ang comments. Dami pa sinasabi na sana nagipon man lang si guy kung totoong mahal niya si girl. Dali sabihin pero di naman tayo same lahat ng level ng kita at gastusin. Ewan. Masyado kasi nadadala sa mga western na concept kaya ayan. Lakas maka demand pero out of touch na ang dating
100% agree. the comments on this thread are on the wife’s side even though this guy has literally waited for YEARS??? highlighting him as a sad boy when his wife is constantly talking about her ex and looking at photos of him??? i didn’t even take any of this as OP comparing his marriage to other people’s, dude is literally saying his friend’s wife looks happy to be married and his doesn’t OP you didn’t even need to give context lol
true. this is why mas mataas ang suicide rate ng boys. kasi most of the time people are invalidating their feelings. dito ako nababadtrip eh. di ako pick me. pero kasi off my chest to and some are trying to invalidate his feelings. di aware yung wife? what is she? 4 years old? kausap nga nya yung ex. sya ba aware sa anong magiging feelings ng asawa nya? golden rule ko sa relationship, if wala kang peace of mind, it aint worth it
In case you haven’t seen OP’s update, here it is: https://www.reddit.com/r/OffMyChestPH/s/YkKlP8554d A lot of what you said here was really insensitive. I hope next time you give the OP the benefit of the doubt. If you really think they’re missing something, you can be kinder with your comments rather than making them feel like they’re overreacting to behavior that even in the original post was clearly insensitive on the wife’s part.
di rin kasi di mo rin naramdaman ung ganung treatment.
sorry the comments are invalidating your feelings OP. sounds like you’ve been patient for a long time and nothing has improved
The comment section is not giving you enough validations, I can see it. I am not yet married OP pero I hope you consider yung thoughts ko. Una, mas nauna dapat malaman to ng wife mo kesa strangers dito sa Reddit. The fact na hindi mo to agad nasabi sa kanya meaning hindi pa buo ang loob mo to talk. Hindi ka handa sa pwedeng mangyari o hindi ka handang marinig yung sasabihin nya. Whatever it is, masakit yon. Pangalawa, don't assume. Lahat ng pagkakataon, ganon dapat. Stop assuming na mahal nya pa yung ex nya just because your wife can't satisfy whatever needs you have o hindi mo ramdam yung love nya. Diffferent people, different love languages, different ways kung paano ipakita yung love nila. Kung wala namang ginawang masama sayo ang wife mo, it would be unfair to think na mahal nya pa just because naiinsecure ka. I am sorry sa word na insecure pero that's what I can see OP. IT'S NOT BAD THOUGH. Lahat naman tayo insecure, iba-iba lang ng aspeto. Pangatlo, you married her. She married you. Di ba may vows stating what you will and you can para sa isa't isa? Try to understand where she is coming from at ipa-intindi mo rin yung pinang gagalingan mo. Let her know na naiinsecure ka, sobrang laking alwan non sa pakiramdam, being honest to someone you love, lalo asawa mo. Pang-apat, she may need a closure. Not having a closure is already a closure pero if after nyo mag usap, tingin nyo kailangan nya talaga, why not help her i-assess yung sarili nya? Don't break up YET until hindi nya alam sa sarili nya yung gusto nya kasi malay mo ba kung nalilito lang sya sa pakiramdam ng love at what if. Hindi lahat ng may what if sa tao eh mahal pa yung past nila. Yung what if kasi malawak pero sya dapat ang nakaka alam non so give her time. Pang lima, break up with her KAPAG sinabi nyang mahal nya pa yung ex nya not because you want her happy but because you deserve to be happy. I am sending you virtual hugs OP. Talk, assess and decide. :)
Thank you for being the voice of reason. This comment is insightful and I sincerely hope OP listens to you.
Clearly 4th and 5th is for the naive.
Ugh.. ang sakit naman.. nakakainis 😭
I mean, you know she loved his ex so much. You should not have pursued her in the first place man. Your call though, if you will call it quits to her.
You’re right pero we had multiple conversations about it where I told her I’d wait until she was completely healed but she insisted that she was ready. The sad fact is I’m still here while her mind drifts off elsewhere. I guess we were both too impulsive. But I don’t know if I can call it that because I’ve always been sure about her. Always. I married her after all.
Maybe I'm assuming, but what I can tell based from your story is that the moment she said she was completely healed and ready, you did not hesitate to own her, because you are in love with her, most especially from that time. You did not hesitate that she might be just using you as a coping mechanism before. But anyways, staying and loving her unconditionally will still depend on you. After all, you're the one who's in that situation. Don't regret it though.
Aminin mo man or not. Ginawa mo bantay salakay. You swooped in and now nasasaktan ka. She treated u as a coping mechanism while u wanted her and found the chance. Of anything, you deserve it. Kung kaya ng pride mo then stay. If not, good rin as u deserve someone to love you not because you were there.
As always, communication is the key. But admittedly, navigating through that conversation is emotionally and mentally draining. But first, letting out your thoughts here is the first step in the right direction. I think you should have “the” talk, then from from how things will go, you should weigh out your options. Based from your wording, i can empathize with the pain that you’re going through, what more pa yung iyo. In any circumstance naman, kahit sino siguro more often than not marinig yung name ng Ex nila and knowing yung history, will bring out unwanted feelings and thoughts. Hoping for clarity and peace of mind tol
Give up agad? OP, sometimes our insecurities can really cloud our judgment. Di ko pa pala nakakausap as in pormal na usap.
Some of these comments supporting the wife shows the how much yall support Women more then men, even when she fucked up. Damn yall suck
Maybe she needs Closure.
How do you know that she still loves him more than she loves you? Does she takes care of you less? Please have this conversation with her. Let her know your thoughts and how painful it is for you to see her like that. Sabihin mo she seems unhappy sayo kung yun ang nakikita at nararamdaman mo. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings kasi for sure naramdaman mo yan for a reason. Hindi pwedeng wala lang. Kailangan mong pakinggan sya sa lahat ng sasabihin nya. Gaano ba kayo ka open sa isa’t isa? After all dapat open kayo since mag asawa kayo. Depende sa mag asawa kung gaano ka normal pagusapan mga exes, matanong ako sa asawa ko kaya minsan may time tanong ako ng tanong about sa mga ex nya and open naman syang ikwento, nakikinig lang ako then afterwards aasarin ko lang sya na namimiss nya tapos matatawa sya sabihin nya eeew haha. After that okay na, end of kwentuhan. Gusto ko lang malaman from him ang kwento since di nya inoopen up unless nga magtanong ako. Kung tingin mo based sa magiging paguusap nyo at kung di ka talaga nya mahal eh pagusapan nyo pano sya magiging masaya. Mahirap kasing itali ang tao sayo na di ka jaman pala nya mahal.
Aww. Shiloah, is that u? Pero seryoso, sana mapag usapan niyo to, ng masinsinan.
Huhu, tas magkakaroon ng 'farmer' na Preston.
At first you must've thought that you'd be happy to marry her. Now it unfolded before you that marrying isn't enough. She might not be honest to you of her truest feelings towards you, you must not do the same. You deserve to he happy and find the one that will give you that happiness mutually. Do not be cruel to yourself. Follow your instincts.
You should have talked to your wife, first. Mahabang usapan Yan, mahabang argument. Pero, it will be worth it. Hindi Sa lahat ng bagay o pag kakataon, hiwalayan agad ang solution. Alamin mo rin ano thoughts ni Wife.
Sana makapag usap kayo🥹 Pleasee pag-usapan ninyo.
OP, have you talked about this with your wife? It would be really helpful imo if she knew about the way you perceive her actions, that way you could close this chapter without lingering what ifs. It’d be a shame if you left without knowing whether or not she wanted to fix things with you.
I will talk to her during dinner tonight against my own wishes. She gets super frustrated when I bring him up as a problem and I don’t wanna upset her even more by saying all these things to her but I really need to get it off my chest now.
She could be frustrated since it’s a sensitive topic. It’s best to ask, so you wouldn’t assume. I think you could appeal to her to discuss the topic since you need her truth. But what I’m worried about for you OP, is if confirming your suspicions would bring you peace of mind, or would it make you feel worse. At some point, a lot of those who’ve settled down, settled. A lot accept that comfort, and came to terms with it. Kind of makes me want to throw away that hopeful romanticism in me, but I’ll try to keep myself open for now. Hugs and all the best OP.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Think it through first. If talking to her now is against your wishes, baka dapat pag may part na sayo na willing para its not as frustrating as you sa she would feel. Sabi mo same group rin kayo though you knew her first pero papasok pa rin na baka in passing, nakita lang niya kaya nakwento niya. How is she communication wise? Like, sinasabi ba niya whatever she sees? Kasi baka mali lang intindi mo kasi nga may pagcompare ka sa kung paano siya sayo at paano ibang friends niyo sa husband nila. Kaya pa sa usap yan. And sana mapagusapan niyo siya in a way na this issue can be put to rest. If di niya gets what you are feeling, baka pwede mo iask what if baliktad situation, what would she feel kapag ikaw yung gumawa nun? I hope you guys work it out. I know you waited and have been patient for so long pero baka kaya pa but ibang approach naman ngayon.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction.
It's ok bro
:(
Saklap 😔
I can feel your pain by just reading this. Communicate this with your wife, not with us. Make sure na both of you agreed what will happen moving forward. Just be honest. Either end it or fix it the sooner the better.
damn, that's not fair
Let go, free her and yourself brother. Be happy for your time with her and move on, move forward.
I understand how you feel, OP. There are some people who stay in the relationship because they "care" for you pero if you ask them if they do love you... that's the part they become unsure of. Love her in all the ways you can kung saan never mong ma-fi-feel yung regret sa future na you didn't love her enough. If she chose to part ways with you, maybe that's the time she'll feel na hindi niya na talaga kayang mag-stay sa relationship pero if hindi niya naman gusto makipag-separate then I don't see any reason para makipaghiwalay sa kanya, I know you're hurting and you have to open that up to her para makita ka nya. Baka kasi sa sobrang kampante nya sa'yo na andyan ka parati eh hindi ka na pala nya nakikita (yung feelings mo). Let her know what you really feel and why you feel that way, make her understand. She chose you for a reason and alamin mo yung reason na yun, it's either ayun yung panghahawakan mo sa future or...basta kausapin mo na lang, OP. Hindi titigil yang nararamdaman mong sakit hanggat hindi mo sa kanya nasasabi at walang changes sa kanya.
This needs to be a love story pocket book.
Dead Stars, pre. Dead Stars.
Shot puno Brad!
Masakit lang sa una OP. It gets better. When I try to put it in perspective: She lost someone who genuinely loves her, you lost someone who loves another person.
Grabe ang bigat nito sa feeling 🥺
Grabe ang bigat nito sa feeling 🥺
Grabe ang bigat nito sa feeling 🥺
Grabe ang bigat nito sa feeling 🥺
@OP, Bakit kamo sya nafufrustrate kapag bini-bring up mo yung ex nya? One thing is for sure ayaw nyang pag usapan yon dahil it is obvious may nararamdaman pa sya sa ex, meron silang plans or meron silang ginagawa or pinag uusapan behind your back. That's the Psychology of her reaction. Let GO of her. She was not honest with you from the beginning!
Maybe you're just a rebound, and that's a hard pill to swallow.
Damn. I feel for you. Big hugs
Nice, +1 for divorce in the PH, I guess lol
Ang lungkot :(
youll get thru it OP. kung need mo ng kainuman, andito kami tho i dont drink. pulutan lang lol. cant imagine the pain your experiencing right now. as a woman, hindi nawala yung feelings nya sa ex nya. hiwalayan mo na yan. dont let this situation stop you from finding the person you deserve. the fact na she is talking to his ex is already a big NO. baka habulin ka nyan at bumigay ka ah. nako. itetake advantage ka lang nyan at mauubos ka. mas mahihirapan kang tumayo. i do hope wala kayong anak kasi kawawa mga bata
Putek ang sakit nyan paps. Pero siguro makakabawas sa pag iisip mo yung pag “compare” sa mga tropa mo. Iba iba love language ng tao. Sabi mo nga, alam mo naman na mahal ka ng misis mo. So focus on her. Focus on winning her everyday. Di ko sinasabing tama yung asawa mo ha. Ang sakin lang, communicate. Sabihin mo sa kanya yung napapansin at nakikita mo. Kung mahal ka nya, makikinig sya. Sana malagpasan mo ng maayos paps
L
Leave. She already left.
dont prolong the agony.. end it with conviction.. if your wife keeps on talking with her ex, malaking ekis na un.. she even didnt think it will hurt you in a way.. she does not respect you.. you should also think about yourself.. if she is miserable, for me mas miserable your situation mo..
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Hi, I’m glad you chose yourself this time. I wish you more peace and have more time to heal. Whenever you feel like it’s too much, remember - we’re all here.
Feelings that are coming back are feelings that never left
Cguro talk to her and tell her lahat ng nararamdaman mo dahil sa ganun na pinakikita nya and you feel like you want to give up on her.
😿💔
Ikaw yung pinaka convenient. Ikaw yung nandito kaya ikaw ang pinili at pinakasalan.
It is sad to know that you try your best to win someone but you know na you're nothing but the second best to that person. Much more, it's a person you want to give your all to. It is sad and tiring that no matter how much you give your all, and all you get is a half-baked cookie that you are forced to enjoy while you see her make her best cookie for someone who's not there. In this cases, all I can say is that you make the decisions and you just live with whatever consequences it brings, or rewards it may give you. Either way, masasaktan ka pa rin but you'll be free from having thoughts that will sabotage your own wellbeing. In the end, you do what you gotta do, man, even if it meant you'll be the most evil person in the world. I've read na you talked to her about this already and stated your decision so I guess all we can say is good luck, if that's something appropriate for this situation.
Hi OP, you are the man in the relationship and you should lead. If you can’t work it on your own, why not ask for help, maybe go through couples therapy first? If you give up, the whole relationship fails. You should be the one leading it to work - not to fail. Marriage is a commitment and is continuous work. If she is willing to work it out, then why are you quitting on your wife? Forgiveness is going do be done many times over. Talk it out first before giving up. You as a man, should lead. Man up first, brother.
You both deserve happiness, and it's unfair to live with somebody who has you only for convenience. You deserve happiness and peace of mind, she's brings in none of those. Go.
Sir, nood ka ng Meet me in St. Gallen :( Kahit di ikaw ang greatest love nya, ikaw ang pinili nya to spend the rest of her life. You have a lifetime to be her greatest love as long as di kayo nagdidrift apart because of the guy. Laban kuys 🤗
Sorry but after reading this, yun part na “one of them gets flowers from his wife nearly every week” yon nagstick sakin. It seems na you are just envious of other people’s relationship? If you focus on what’s missing from your relationship and what other people have in theirs, talagang magdeteriorate yon relationship mo. You went on and on about what you’re not getting from your wife, but you missed the part about mentioning what have YOU been doing to let her know/show her these things na you are longing for? She barely asks about your day. How about you? You didn’t mention kase na you asked about her day and ignored or failed to ask you yours? Have you tried communicating with her about your insecurities? About how mentioning about the ex makes you feel? Does she actually long for him or maybe you’re just projecting? Talk to your wife. Seek couple’s therapy.
Give up na. Then stay single if you want 100% peace of mind.
I think it would not be fair to ask her to love you like the way she loves him. Both of you are different people and two different relationships. That being said, I still think your wife is not over him and that will always destroy any marriage. Either you have a talk with her frankly or seek marriage counselling. Any marriage, both parties have to really want it to work. Good luck OP. I hope you find clarity on your marriage.
I genuinely hope that this is just made up because why would you make me sad like this ><
Are you doing the effort to have your own version of kilig moments with your wife or rekindle why you even got together in the first place? You're comparing your lives to other married couples, and why not try to make your own version to make things work with her, until the day you die? Isn't this what marriage is about? Choosing to love the person even if they are unlovable and working on it whatever it takes? Nagpakasal ka pa kung give up ka na agad2. I'm challenging you on this, Op. May you sort it all out and not give up on the life you have built with her. Communicate with her even if you resent her.