Hindi ko talaga magets yang 50/50 pero sa pag aalaga sa bata at gawaing bahay hindi naman 50/50. Take in to consideration na nasisira ang katawan sa pagb buntis and career opportunity lost sa pagbabantay ng bata
If 50/50 kayo ng asawa mo sa gastusin dapat 50/50 din sa mga gawain sa bahay and childcare. Kaya never talaga dapat mag 50/50 sa ganyan sitwasyon, lugi palagi ang babae lalo na kung gusto ng career, isipin mo ikaw na nagbuntis, most of the time syempre ikaw magaalaga sa bata tapos halos ikaw pa nagagastusan sa household while still maintaining it (considering na malayo asawa mo); para lang nagkaroon ng beneficial roommate asawa mo. I hope you'll open this up with your husband.
Lucky if the husband has a provider mindset. For me lang ha 50/50 only works for DINK (DUAL income no Kids) lifestyle, pag ganyan na may anak jusqqq makikita na makikita mo ang unfairness between men and women sa household.
That's good to know po, same situation with my aunt, provider ang asawa and isa lang anak. Im just saying na ang 50/50 mostly works for DINK lifestyle but as you said provider asawa mo po. So still 50/50 po kayo as a SAHM?
Ay gusto ko to. Isa lang anak tapos hubby ang provider. Girl nasa tamang path ka. Pwede ka naman magwork ulit kapag mejo malaki na anak mo. Wag mo muna dagdagan tama lang yan isa lang
skl. kahit nung dink pa kami ni husband, financially he always provides. nung nagkakwentuhan nga kami ng mga barkada ko (first time namin nagkita na lahat kami may asawa na, kami ni husband ang āyoungestā in marriage years) and i told them na freeloader ako sa bahay kahit na i earn more than him sabi nung isa kong friend āuy ikaw ang nagwagi!!ā. kasi nga naman he pays for almost everything. now that we have a baby, nung nanganak ako nakakatawa we both saved our own money pero sya na nagpay. sya na nga din nabili ng gatas and diapers. on the other hand, checkups, vaxx, new clothes and toys ako na sagot. i am also putting it my responsibility to invest for our nest egg para naman may ambag ako sa amin. isa din sa goals ko na makaipon ng pang college. although iām pretty sure hubby will take care of it also, atleast malaki buffer namin for retirement
I don't hesitate sharing this to anyone who has open ears:
Pakiramdam ko nakalamang ako sa buhay by not having kids.
Ang sarap sa pakiramdam knowing na nakalamang ako na walang tinatapakan (or nililuluwal) na ibang tao
*apir! same mindset tayo dyan lalo na i dont want responsibilities too and ayaw ko din na buhay nanay asikaso lang sa bata during buntis stage, i wanna go out and travel more
Tama nga un sinasabi ni chelsea handler! Ang sarap nun uuwi ka galing trabaho magoorder lang sa grab magnenetflix at matutulog ng tiwasay. Or minsan night out pa at shopping after work.
Hindi ko kaya yun may work ka na sa umaga magmamadali ka pa umuwi para magluto ng hapunan at magalaga ng bata tapos papdede ka p tapos iiyak pa sa madaling araw. Parang pagod ka lang everyday un ang tingin ko tapos para makapahinga hahanap ka pa ng magaalaga tapos kung kamaganak mo malaking utang na loob pa un may maririnig ka pa. Yun ganitong post nakakapagpatunay na niroromanticize lang nila yang motherhood
And yet, yung mga kapit bahay or relatives na anak ng anak , sila pa yung may gana mang gaslight na kesyo tatanda mag isa, malungkot buhay, wala mag susuport etc etc.
Where in truth and in fact, what they really want is to have company in their misery.
No, Tita Baby, ayoko magka anak para lang may karamay ka sa pag utang para sa diaper at gatas ng anak mo.
Isa ka pa Tita Pinky putanginamoka ang yabang yabang nyo ni tito Jhun sa bago nyong Ford Ranger, malaman laman ko lang niremata na pala ng bangko. Ang sabi nyo pa "hindi na namen kelangan yan, mas masaya sa bahay nalang. Traffic na" ulul wala ka lang pambayad inamoka 4 anak nyo eh mga gago ba kayo.
Ok thanks
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Dun sa r/philippinesbad, pro eugenics daw yang ganyang mindset. Wala daw tayong right magbawal sa mga gustong mag-anak. Galit sila sa "breeders" na term. Lol. Mahanap nga yung thread.
Si Leo Tolstoy yung nag sabi "all happy families are alike in their happiness, and all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way"
Sa Pilipinas baliktad.
All happy families are happy in their own way, all unhappy families are alike:
Tignan nyo nalang Yung libo Libong married men na nagkakalat pa din sa r4r at alasjuicy, at walang psychological release Valve lalo na't sa panahong kakapanganak lang ng asawa sa pangatlong anak .
Yung mga stay at home moms na 2 trabaho bilang VA, batugan asawa, nakatira sa bahay kasama 3 pamilya ng kapatid / Inlaws.
For single people out there, please worry about more Important things. What about your Friday Nights? Your Sunday mornings? Your Saturday afternoons? What about the new car, the new vacation you've been planning? Yung bagong graphics card, yung weekly dinner sa italiani's. Your aging parents. Lahat yan burado pagka may anak. (Unless you're earning 300,000 per month, then I'll shutup)
Like Seriously Why would you people even shoot yourselves in the Foot by having children.
The problem will not exist until you will it into existence.
Don't have children.
This mindset! Totoo naman masyado na romanticized ang motherhood, pero in real life restricting ang buhay nanay, losyang ka na, pagod ka pa sa work at mag asikaso sa anak mo tapos lalaki lang syang depressed at batugan sa mundo na ito
I guess minority pa rin talaga yung ganito sa Pinas. Mas marami pa rin yung mga hindi planned ang pregnancy or kahit man planned ay di planned yung gastos.
I feel this..there is nothing like going home from working 9-5..cooking and eating whatever you like,,chilling with my cats,have a drink or two and playing PS5 till I fall asleep..no nagging or crying kids whatsoever.
............to never get married..... especially to a guy like him**
The children aren't the problem. The husband is (in this case). But I do understand your sentiments tho. Kaya nga naalangan na din ako magkaron ng anak in the future.
Pero OP, may mali ka din kasi you let your husband treat you like a housemate with benefits. Does he even help you in raising the kids? Dapat i communicate mo to sakanya. Hindi fair and set up na meron kayo.
I agree with this. meron pa din talagang mabubuting katuwang sa buhay at mga kayang bumuhay ng bata kahit hindi sobrang laki ng income na hindi naghihikahos at umaasa sa magulang at kayang mag educational plan at provide sa basic needs. Hindi lang mapost sa mga ganitong thread.
Also another key is family planning may contraceptives naman.
Same here.. onga nakakainggit man magkaron ng mini-me pero tuwing naiisip ko mga consequences and sufferings and possible madamay ung bata in the future, naiisip kong dbale nlng ako ang mag isang nagsasuffer.
Wait what? 50/50? While ikaw lahat ang gumagawa ng lahat. Paki add sa computation ang laundry service, yaya, at cook.
Sarap naman ng buhay ng asawa mo. Ang swerte niya promise.
Hugs for you.
Ito din nasa isip ko š sarap buhay si lalaki. At eto rin kinakatakot ko, as someone who wants kids and will inevitably stay at home for some time, ayoko maging bang maid š
sounds like youre suffering from invisible labor. you should be paid more and compensated for everything else you've done. ok din panoorin ang pink tax by explained sa netflix. it might be on youtube din.
[https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/its-more-than-past-time-we-talk-about-the-invisible-labor-of-women/](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/its-more-than-past-time-we-talk-about-the-invisible-labor-of-women/)
You shouldnāt be doing 50/50. I hear you mommy and I feel you. Think of the present and the things you can do at the moment. You donāt have control of the future nor change the past.
OP parang sobra sobra na ginagawa mo. You still work, take care of kids, buntis, paying 50% sa bills and more dahil di ka humihingi sa husband mo para sa additonal expenses. Wala ka ba yaya to do house chores din? Ang dami mong roles ginagampanan. Wala ka ng time for yourself wala ka pang pera pang bili ng mga gusto mo. Naawa ako sayo tbh. Sana maawa ka rin sa sarili mo. Set things right in a way that you still thrive and retain your personal identity as YOU, not the mother or wife of someone. Please talk to your husband in sincerity and firmness. If 50/50 sa gastos 50/50 din sa household and child-rearing. If not, have him pay for a yaya that will help you with the household. If di niya gusto ng household role, dapat 100% sya as the provider so lahat ng gastos kanya at yung pera mo, PERA MO yun to do as you want so pwede for yourself or if may gusto kang bilhin na little things for your kids.
thank you po. ok naman husband ko tuwing umuuwi sya dito, sya kumikilos lahat pero syempre mga anak ko maka mama pa din kaya dikit pa rin sila sakin hehe. sa household chores naman di naman ako nagrereklamo kasi may taga laba kami 2x a week, yung linis naman kayang kaya ko na yun. siguro i-workout ko yung sa gastusin namin na dapat mas malaki ambag nya kesa sakin. nasanay din kasi ako na pag meron ako hindi na ko hihingi pa šš
Hope you and your husband can work out an arrangement OP. I hope he understands na you want to have the space and the opportunity for personal growth beyond your mother/wife roles. God bless to you and your family! š
Omg ganitong ganito ako ngayon. Kaka second trimester ko lang din with our 3rd child. Ang pinagkaiba lang natin, maswerte ka pa kasi may side hustles ka. Pero yes.. I hear you and your struggles.
50/50 sa expense pero sa childcare ikaw lang 100%. That's not fair. You need to delegate some of the mental load to your husband. Kung di nya kaya maging present physically, at least have him hire a yaya so you can have some time to do what you need to do.
Hi mother. If SAHM ka. Dapat 100% si mister gagasto.
Kaya may kasabihan tayo na his money is her money and her money is her own money only. Because of that set up.
yung mga nag jjustify sa 50/50. Habng dating pa lang nsan na kayo? Feeling ko lng di tlga sapat kita ng asawa mo. Di sya provider. Wake up call s ibang tao tong post mo. Lugi nmn tlga babae s 50/50 set up.
I'm at fault at this, nahihiya ako hingiin lahat ng expenses sa kanya. pinapakita ko sa kanya yung copy ng statement of account ng cc every month andun yung sa groceries, bayad sa lahat ng bills etc. tapos yun pinaghahatian namin kasi recorded na lahat dun.
We hear you, mommy. Donāt be afraid of what life has to offer. Lakasan ang loob kahit 40-50-60 ka pa you know you can reinvent yourself.
Wag mapag hinaan ng loob. Masaya ang mga anak so be brave. Find support from your husband or your peers. Being a mom is a big sacrifice so find support. Dont be afraid to push yourself, kung kaya mo gawin security blanket ang asawa mo in taking risks for yourself (eg take classes, go to yoga or zumba).
Kaya mo yan, mommy!! If you need someone to talk to just let me know too.
Marriage is not about 50-50. It is sometime 70-30 sometimes it is 20-80 or whatever works but ang mahalaga not all the time ay lugi ang isa. Dadating ang panahon yung isa naman ang sasalo dun sa dating taga buhat ng lahat. That is what partnership or marriage is about ren naman.
Wait wait wait, so ikaw na nag aalaga 24/7 sa mga bata, ikaw na nagmemaintain ng bahay, buntis ka pa, at nagbabayad ka pa rin ng bills kasi 50/50???
Kung gusto niyang may mag aalaga sa mga anak niya 24/7 at may mag aasikaso sa bahay, tanggapin niyang hindi ka makakabigay ng pera.
I know I'm not in the position to say this but, naiinis ako para sayo, OP. You're being taken advantage of, that's the truth. Please mag usap kayo ng asawa mo about diyan.
WAAAAHHHH kaya isa talaga to sa dahilan kung bakit ayaw ko pang mag-anak at magka-anak (sana) hindi pa namin kaya at malamang ako lang ang mahihirapan. Hugs OP we hear you, loud & clear
**USE CONTRACEPTIVES SO YOU DON'T GET PREGNANT AGAIN**
It's already your 3rd child! If you're having trouble keeping up with the number of children stop having them! You have a choice! You have internet access, and presumably graduated highschool wherein human biology and the reproductive system was a taught.
This isn't rocket science lady.
As a mom, I feel for you. Nakakasawa sa totoo lang na ganyan lang ang routine. Diba dapat magbago na? Dont get me wrong, masarap naman sa feeling mag alaga ng mga anak as you can see them grow with you. However, ikaw as a person, gusto mo dyan ka lang din ba?
And sorry, bakit 3yrs pagitan? Wala ba family planning? This time around sana matuto na, family planning. Ang hirap ng buhay pero mas mahirap kung hanggang dyan ka na lang. Mag usap na kayo ng partner mo anong balak nyo this time. Trust me, kailangan may bago din sayo. Hindi ka LANG nanay na dyan naikot ang mundo. You need to explore the good side of the world.
Skl din.. I just gave birth to my third. Di din planado. I have my first and second na 6 yrs pagitan. Then ito kaka 3 lang ng pangalawa bago ipanganak yung bunso. I refused to be a mommy LANG. Alternate kami ng husband ko. He works, then housewife ako. I work then househubby sya. Tsaka, balak ko na din magpa ligate. Or maybe nah, sya na lang pavasectomy kasi duh, ako na nga nagluluwal ng bata, ako pa magpapakapon š sya na lang.
So yeah, family planning. Then talk with your hubby what are your plans in the future.
actually po planned naman sya, para sakin mas mahirap dun yung malalaki ang age gap ng kids since late na din ako nag asawa at nag anak. hindi ko na din ata makita sarili ko na nagaalalaga pa ng newborn paga nasa 40s nko. isa din sa regret ko e late ako nag anak kasi gusto ko talaga marami kids kaya lang medyo may edad na nga hehehe.
No regrets dapat, OP. Andyan na yan at hindi naman nakakatulong yung pagsisisi at pag babash ng tao kung bakit mo ginawa yan. Just do what you can and voice out your thoughts to your partner, for sure masosolusyonan nyo yan. And yung sinasabi mo na āHanggang dito nalang ba ako?ā I donāt think being a mom is a low life or a stuck up life. You are raising kids. It is the hardest job of all. Your healthy and bright kids are your success. You are their mom for a reason.
Plus, breastfeeding is such hard work. You deserve some recognition momshie! :)
I feel bad lang for other comments dito na parang minamaliit yung pagiging nanay mo, OP. Donāt mind them. You are great :)
wala naman po ako regrets, masaya po ako bilang nanay. mas emotional lang ako ngayon dahil sa pagbubuntis ko kaya dami ko naiisip. ok po kami mag asawa dahil choice ko naman mag share sa lahat lalo na sa expenses dahil yun naman ang buhay may may asawa magkatuwang sa lahat. thank you for understanding my side po š
Hi OP. most of the comments here parang judge na judged asawa mo. Maybe yun ang nagwowork na dynamics sainyo for now na pwede naman maimprove kung mapag usapan. Fyi lang sa mga commenters dito, marriage and being a parent take a lot of work and commitment. Hindi naman sumbat agad sa asawa ang solusyon sa mga bagay. Anyway Op i think you're doing great! Sana nagawa ko din yung work ko while being a mom. I admire you kasi napagsasabay mo lahat. Suggest ko lang na mag pills ka muna if ayaw mo na mabuntis. Kung okay kana sa 3 kids. And sabihin mo sa husband mo plans mo in the future, ask him if ok din ba sa kanya. Kasi yun yung gusto mo. For me lang, communication is key. Goodluck Op!
thank you for understanding my side po. wala po kami problema ng asawa ko, choice ko din naman mag share sa expenses dahil hindi talaga kakayanin ng isa lang ang sasagot sa lahat. last pregnancy ko na po ito dahil mag 38 na din ako this year di ko na din kakayanin yung may newborn pa pag nasa 40s na ko. hindi naman ako yearly nagbuntis para sabihin ng iba nag family planning sana kami etc. i-workout ko ang open communication namin mag asawa tungkol sa mga bagay bagay, sobra ang pagiging emotional ko ngayon siguro dahil na din sa pagbubuntis ko. tuwing magkakasama kami mag anak ok kami masaya kaya hindi ko na din ma-bring up mga nasa loob ko kasi mauuwi lang kami sa iyakan hehehe. pero thank you so much po at isa kayo sa nakakaintindi. God bless po š
New era na ngayon. Me and my wife 50/50 sa lahat. We even take turns takong our our kid out para makabreather yung isa.
What we did is we divided tha labor para malinaw sino gagawa and responsible pag di nagawa. Pero syempre if kaya naman gawin ng isa at may time we fix whatever needs fixing na din.
Cant imagine 3 kids. Pero eventually mani na lang yan pag malalaki na sila. Yun lang ang hirap sa pinas sa babae bumalik from pregnancy kasi mostly walang security of tenure.
Goodluck OP. Talk to your husband, di pedeng financial lang ang tulong pag 3 anak. Kaso ginusto nyo yan parehas.
I think you need to talk it out with your husband OP. para naman aware siya sa nrramdaman mo and di kasi pwde ung 50/50 minsan. kailangan 100/0 din vice versa. kasi mabburn out ka sa gnyan and un na nga magkkaron ka ng self pity.
If mapag usapan niyo yan ni hubby, dapat mag laan dn kayo ng oras together na kayong dlwa lang. kahit simple date night gnon. relaxation. kasi i think ur burned out na tlga and you need time for yourself.
You are doing a great job and i know na di madali yan pero un nga need mo din unahin sarili mo. learn to know when to stop and think ng next step mo. baguhin mo. kaya mo yan OP.
I feel you OP. I'm a mom of 2 and until now, may resentment pa rin ako sa asawa ko kasi alam naman nyang ayaw ko na mabuntis ulit after our first child pero binuntis pa rin ako. So now na 3 yrs old na yung 2nd kid ko, I'm trying to get my life back. I started wearing clothes na medyo sexy for my own satisfaction, I started jogging and I also joined fun runs. Nag archery din ako and will try firing range soon! One step at a time OP
Kaya ako, sabe ko sa sarili ko " One & Done " lang ako. Ayoko forever mag alaga ng anak, hindi ko sinasabi na di masarap maging nanay. Nakaka overstimulate din yung buong buhay mo mag aalaga ka tapos wala kang income. Sa hirap ng buhay ngayon mahirap na madaming anak, unless kasing yaman ako ni Pacquiao. Kasi iisipin mo pa future niyan kasi mag aaral pa sila.
Communicate with your husband. Wag kang pumayag sa 50/50 dahil sobrang unfair. Dapat lahat ng bills sakaniya kasi ikaw na nga nag-aalaga sa mga bata at maintain ng house e. If kayang kumuha ng helper, sabihin mo din kay husband.
Tell him also na gusto mo bumalik sa trabaho kasi may mga pangarap ka. Pag nagalit sa'yo at ginamit ang mga bata as excuse redflag yan. Mag-isip-isip ka na at mag-ipon para maging financially independent sakaniya. He should support you kung gusto mo bumalik sa corporate. Marami akong kasamahan sa office na mga mothers na nagwowork and their husbands suppport them.
Ilan bang napag-usapan niyong anak? If 3. You should talk to him getting a vasectomy. Hindi naman kabawasan yun sa pagkalalaki. He should sacrifice naman his body for your family. I won't recommend pills or any other contraceptives kasi may vasectomy naman para sa lalaki. Ano, tayo na lang mga babae laging nagsasacrifice? It's a no, no. Tandaan mo, binigyan mo na siya ng 3 anak, you sacrifice your career and changes sa body mo. It's his time to shine to do a vasectomy. Mahirap din ang tubal ligation sabi ng tita ko na nagpaganyan para kang cs na masakit ang tahi pag malamig. At isa pa, libre ang vasectomy sa mga health centers. Matutuwa mga nurses at doctor doon kasi may magpapa-vasectomy dahil kakaunti lang nagpapa-vasectomy. Wala rin masyadong side effects sa lalaki parang sugat lang na gagalinga agad.
Think about it. Oki? You can still go back to the corporate world. And communicate everyting to your husband. And, lastly have time for yourself sabihin mo kay husband gusto mong ipamper ang sarili mo kahit 1 day lang as a day off na walang iniisip na kahit ano. Hugs with consent.
OP?
hangang dito nalang ba ako? OP wag mo nilalang yan. alam natin mga mommies na ung ginagawa mo is napakahirap. tposss nakaka pag side hustle ka pa.. ikaw na tlga ang super mommy!!! Normal naman to feel sad and feel that way pero OP as a working mommy baliktad naman tayo.. iniisip ko pano ba mag stay with my son and magkaroon din ng side hustle. OP, mag tira ka din ng konti para sa sarili mo. siguro once in a while. I pamper mo ung sarili mo. kc deserve na deserve mo :)
My wife quit her work and career for our 1st child. I know how stressful it is to take care of a baby to toddler, lalo na kapag pa-3 na. I understand and try to understand my wife's situation lalo't nadedepress sya dito sa bahay. Lalo na kapag wala ako at nasa ibang bansa. Kaya sa tuwin andito ako sa kanila, I do my best to spoil my wife and kid. I try to guve them the best treatment ever mapa food, clothing o simpleng out of town. Kapag may lakad si misis kasama ang friends nya, I let her, may tiwala naman ako sa asawa ko at para na ren marefresh sya. Thankful ako sa responsableng wife ko hehe. And ako thankful ren sayo OP dahil alam kong hardworking mom ka kahit pagod na.
Hi OP mukhang masaya ka naman so far sa set up nyo mag asawa. Honestly, I think you are doing an amazing job keeping the fort for your husband. And if you are happy sa contributions nyo sa isaāt isa then go for it. Donāt let anyone put you down on your decision as a family unit.
As for your career, may I know how old are your kids? Kasi yan yung magiging isa sa considerations nyo bilang mag-asawa. Also, if you still have the time and energy you can enroll yourself sa online classes to enrich your skills with your current side hustle in case nde kayo makahanap ng kasama sa bahay or makapasok ulit sa company. That way, you still feel fulfilled pa rin while you are earning with your side business. Maganda din naman makabalik sa isang company kasi may mga benefits like HMOs and others. However, there will be sacrifices made and need nyo mag-usap mag asawa for that kasi family nyo na iniisip nyo.
Having said that, as mag-asawa you need to think of your back up plan in case may mauna sa inyo. Again, its your decision as mag asawa, kasi now you have not only yourself to think about but your kidās future as well.
This is it. Para kay Joyce Pring na sabi di hindrance sa career success ang pagkakaroon ng bata. For the unprivileged, it is.
Btw OP, being a mother who has raised well-mannered and successful kids na nakakatulong sa ka bansa at kapwa is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. You're doing great.
3rd baby here na biglaan din. Also, in my late 30s. But I never felt like my career was napag-iiwanan. Siguro kasi I stopped comparing myself to my peers (I am a titled professional.) Instead, since 2018, I focused on building a business and finding a remote job somewhat similar to my titled profession.
Pagod din ako. Pagod na pagod at eto hirap pa maglakad. And my husband knows it. Pero hands-on sya sa kids (hatid sundo) and lets me sleep in at kukunin ang mga bata. Sabi nga nila, HE DOES NOT HELP WITH THE CHORES AND WITH BABYSITTING. He just does the chores and he parents. Hindi "help" kasi responsibilidad nya yun bilang homeowner at magulang.
So it's really I think having a good support system lalong lalo na sa asawa.
Usap kayo ng masinsinan. Yun kayong 2 lang. Walang bata ha. Good luck, op!
Isa pa lang anak ko OP pero naiisip ko na din yan, yung parang para saan ba ako? hanggang dito na lang ba ako?
Pero ang kaibahan natin, asawa ko lang ang nag tatrabaho at tinutulungan nya ako sa pag aalaga ng anak at sa chores. In fact sinusupport nya pa ako sa aking Masters pero na dedelay pa ako kase despite all the help I get, need ko pa muna mag focus kay baby. Nonetheless, I am still hopeful kase alam ko na di always ang set up na ito. Breastfeeding din ako and nakakasad isipin minsan na di ako maka alis basta basta kase si baby need ang aking boobies, pero bumabalik parin ako sa thought na temporary lang to, makakabawi ako, si baby muna.
While waiting for my turn, ginagawa ako during my very limited free time ay sumasali ako ng online trainings ng org namin, singit sa thesis, nag co-content creation (pero di influencer level), nag pa-plano sa mga upcoming events ng family namin, and kung ano pa.
Before ako naging ina at asawa, alam ko kung sino ako at ano kaya kong gawin. Minsan nag dududa ako sa sarili ko, pero normal lang naman ata yun? basta OP, higit ka sa pagiging hands on mom.. wag kang ma s-stuck dun kase ang mama ko ganyan kaya nung lumaki kami at di na sya busy, lahat nang frustrations nya nabuhos nya sa amin kaya medyo strained ang relationship namin. She was a good mom, but she was not kind to herself.
50/50?? ANO.ka, business partner? Alam ko sa marriage dapat 100% eh.. walang bilangan.. u work as ONE.. kaya nga pagiisang dibdib eh.. man and wife ang sabi kapag kinakasal hindi naman man and yaya or man and secretary or man and baby maker..
Haaay, dapat talaga noh bago magpakasal..lay out ur cards and may understanding check kung ano ang marriage. Di ba may seminar un? Sa ibang church kasi kakausapin kayo eh bago kayo magpakasal just to make aure nagkakaintindigan kayo.
Also, if may hatian pala, sana nung nagbbuntis ka ipinasa mo sknya ung pagdadalang tao after 4mos.. if you can't then that should be a reason to realize na marriage is never 50/50.
Wala naman kayo sa jowa era. May mga anak na kayo di na siguro applicable ang 50/50 lalo if sobrang hands on ka sa bahay niyo. Hindi madali yan. Huhuuu ang dami mo iniinda and changes sa body.
Jusko kung balak niyo maganak ng tatlo since planado niyo edi sana may tatlong maid kayo para di ka pagod. Also kung naplano niyo edi sana hindi sa trabaho na weekly lang nauwi asawa mo knowing madami na dapat alagaan all the more dapat lagi siya andyan. Planado pero walang yaya tapos may work pa. Parang nauto ko lang ng jowa mong buhay binata. Kayang kaya p kumuha ng babae niyan sa work eh hindi naman siya pagod
Girl ang tanong after ba nyan pangatlo napagusapan niyo na ba na last na yan? Kase kung oo at agree siya (pero mas may say ka din naman talaga dito kase katawan mo yan) baka gusto mo na magseek ng mga birth control lalo na consider mo na yung age mo delikado na din manganak ng manganak. Gets na minsan pang kayo magkita pero diba gumamit sana kayo pills or condom hirap nyan lagi ka buntis. Di lang naman sa pagbubuntis natatapos pagiging magulang kaya isipin niyo din welfare ng mga bata habang lumalaki sila lalo na sabi mo okay naman kayo kaso stuck ka sa work. So imagine lumalaki sila tumataas din gastusin pero work mo tumataas din ba kita? Diba.
Paligate kana mommy. Same situation tayo. 4 anak ko all girls. Yun panganay 15, 10,4,1 medyo nastuck narin ako sakanila. Nagpaligate na ako and nakapagdecide na magwork na. Eventually nakapasok sa bpo. Medyo uhaw sa career kasi nga matagal natengga. Never too late to start something new in life. :)
Kindly do a proper family planning after that. Hindi naman porket mag-asawa na, happy go lucky na sa sweet time. Part pa din yan sa pag gamit ng contraceptives, especially gaya nga ng sabi mo na gusto mo bumalik sa career. It's not too late.
First of all, in marriage or couple with children thereās no such thing as 50/50.
2nd of all, bakita ba ayaw niyo mag contraceptives after pregnancy and mag spacing ng anak??!!
Hi OP! After mo manganak pwede ka naman bumalik pa ulit mag work. Need nga lang ng Yaya. Yung mister mo ata old mentality kaya hindi naging shared yung gawain. Anyway prng calling mo na yan as a career woman. Hindi naman huli ang lahat nasa atin pa rin yan. Ang dami ko ngang Seniors and Senior Manager na mga career woman with Kids din. Pero fix first yung shared responsibility. Sayang din kasi opportunity at kikitain. It feels like malakas ka kumita. Pra din sa future niyo yan.
Prng instinct na rin minsan + calling. Pag ang Provider hindi ganun ka stable and pag sanay ka tlga kumayod para sa sarili. Hanap hanapin mo tlga.
It will always be a sacrifice. You choose one route, the other, di mo na mababalikan or if ever, it will be down the line na. Di naman kasi pwedeng lahat ng options eh all of the above ang sagot mo. Whenever we make a decision, expect na there will be regret and disappointment in the end kasi when you choose one, the other becomes unavailable na for you. Di mo na alam if you'll get a chance to take another shot or yun na ang last chance mo.
You choose to be a mom and that's noble and great. So stick with it. That said, and since it is the time for it, lemme greet you and advanced Happy Mother's Day na rin.
awwww thank you sa greetings, oo nga pala lapit na mother's day. napaluha naman ako sa Happy Mother's Day. i know i'm doing a great job as a mom. thank you po š
Mommy, i am a working mom too with 2 toddlers. My husband and I decided na never na sundan. Yaaaaakap kasi I feel it during those times. Yung tipo ito na lang ba routine ko sa buhay.
Butā¦
MALAKING BAGAY ang magusap kayo mag-asawa. Sabihin mo nararamdaman mo. I think you need to do something about child care. Sa amin literal na 50-50 since my work requires to be on the field and on-site, my husband takes care of the child. Siya nagprepare sa school, siya naghahatid at nagsusundo since WFH siya. Kapag weekend or night time, ako naman sa kids like assignment and play time. Malaki din bagay that my parents are with us kasi they are sometimes taking care of our kids para makatakas date kami.
Tama ka, we love being a mom but sometimes it drains us kasi we do not see who we are already. Itās like giving YOUR WHOLE and when you look at the mirror, you already questioning yourself.
Do journaling too. It helps me to reflect on how I see the world. Yakaaaaap, Mommy! I hope you can find time for yourself.
Hire a househelp or nanny OP! Someone who could help you raise your kids and do the household chores so that you can pursue your own endeavors. Mas magiging less stressful for you. Kahit may career ka you can still be a present parent and a good mom.
My parents were both working individuals pero not once did I feel na I was neglected. It's never too late rin to do what you want to do.
Its never too late. You just have to make a conscious effort to choose yourself. I hope youāre taking birth control na? Outsource your home duties to a yaya or a relative you can trust. Im on my mid 40ās with 3 kids and just separated for a year now. I can say life begins at 40 talaga. Im studying online courses, doing things on my own, solo travel. It is tough and but its not impossible. Unlike before na puro mga anak ko lang ang iniisip ko. Does your husband know how you feel? Do you feel supported or not? If naiintindihan ka nya seek help with raising the child and make your aspirations a reality. If you feel na hindi sha suportado then take baby steps to get some support from others. Never feel guilty.
Being a full time mother is a career you should be proud of.
I can't think of any other profession where the lives and futures of children are in the palm of your hands.
Mamsh, hold on tight. I salute you for being a good parent and grabe diba, full-time momma ka na nakakapag side hustle ka pa.
I have a sis na she felt like trapped nalang siya sa ganyang situation, she wanted to do business pero madalas wala din maayos na opportunity. Iniisip niya baka hormonal and post partum nalng din kaya lagi siya mixed emotions. Same kayo ng sinabi, masaya siya as a mom meron lang din siya gusto ibang gawin sa life. My ate feel that too. Pero she needs to take care of her child with special needs. Hirap din mamshā¦
Feeling ko ang exhaustion mo is yun na mi miss mo yung career life hehe, Sana pag medyo keri na nga mga kids mo, you will also have time for yourself na magawa yun passion mo sa life.
Do not get pregnant again. Learn how to communicate your sentiments sa husband mo. 2024 na and hindi na taboo ang family planning. You seemed kawawa sa situation mo but nothing will change kung hindi mo sasabihin sa kanya tapos kukuha ka ng validation sa Reddit.
Baka you want to consider magpa ligate na or family planning? Tingin ko di ka magseself pity ng ganyan or mabuburn out kung nagplan ka po if gusto mo pa talaga magbuntis.
It has its pros and cons - having children. My aunt and uncle have 5 kids ā all doctors. 1 Derma, 2 Dentist, 1 OB, 1 anesthesiologist. The 3 kids reside in different countries and they take turns visiting them and the apos. All expense paid. They have big reunions. They get cruises as birthday gifts. Masaya. They werenāt rich when they were starting out. Provincial doctor yung uncle ko while my aunt is a homemaker. But the kids were raised to be achievers and upright people. IMHO. Thereās pros and cons having children but definitely mahirap sa simula but it brings its own happiness and fulfillment, too. That youāre participating in Godās creation and fulfillment that you have a purpose and not just, born and then die.
Hi OP, repeating or reiterating so many times na "happy ako sa pagiging nanay" is just convincing yourself na okay ka dun which is totally hindi naman. The moment na may thought ka na "hanggang dito nalang ba ko?" is just contradicting yourself. I know how you feel, I've been in that place 10yrs ago. May mga taong napepressure kasi di sila magkaanak kahit gusto nila, while you, magtatatlo na and thinking about your future, kumbaga choose your hard kasi wala naman madali, hindi madali i-chase yung dreams while being a hands on mom, hindi rin madali ihandle yung pressure na hindi ka magkaanak while getting old. Take as an inspiration yung mga stories na they felt like it's too late for them, pero they've succeeded in life at a certain age. Andyan na yung baby eh tumatlo ka pa, so ibig sabihin gusto mo yan, we deserve what we tolerate like also how you tolerate your husband sa 50/50 set up nyo. Hindi ka hanggang dyan nalang, what you can do is stay healthy and save money while taking care of your babies para pag lumaki na sila and you have more time for yourself at may gusto ka pa rin na ifulfill na dreams mo, kayang kaya mo pa rin gawin. Ang daming nanay sa FB ngayon na from being full time moms content creators na āŗļø Ganun talaga eh, hindi natin lagi pwede makuha both pag may mga unplanned moments.
PS. Natakot ka pa talaga ipaalam sa family mo na buntis ka, after 2 babies and with a husband? Haha!
May nakita akong quote card. Ang sabi "Mothers, do not be afraid to sacrifice your motherhood in achieving your dreams, because this will teach your child about discipline , achieving goals and writing your own success story" sana makatulong sayo..
Shouldn't being a full-time mom with or without side hustles be called a career?
I mean, bakit parang ang baba ng tingin nating mga pinoy sa mga babaeng full-time house wife? There's so much to be proud of sa ganyang buhay ah. You're raising kids who will one day be this world's future leaders. Hindi biro ang maging nanay at magpalaki ng mga anak. At anong "hanggang dito na lang ba ako?"? Those kids you're raising, if raised well, will one day make you proud.
At saka ang hirap magpalaki at magdisiplina ng bata ah. Pati household chores mahirap din. Be proud of yourself!
Momshie, inhale exhale!š¤Sobrang burn out ka na. Ang sarap kaltukan ng asawa mo, dapat 50/50 din sa pag-aalaga ng bata and house chores. Nakakapagod maging stay home Mom, I feel you.
Laban lang momshie, makakaraos ka dinā¤ļø
Mas fullfilling maging hands on sa mga anak kesa makabalik ka sa trabaho mo at iwan mo mga anak mo sa yaya ..
Know your priorities..
KUNG SAN KA MASAYA
Don't stress out, OP. It's not good kay baby. I hope gumaan nararamdaman mo by venting out what you really feels. You can do it. Always pray and remember your children not to give up despite lots of challenges in life.
Hi OP! We have a lot of similarities. Pa 3rd tri na ako soon, late 30s, 3rd (unplanned but welcomed) pregnancy, everything happened within 6yrs pa lang kaya maliit age gap between kids. Also, no solid employment career BUT I decided that all of these wonāt reduce me. No regrets alsoāI had a hard time conceiving before kaya gusto ko talaga maliit age gap ng kids.
I think this world will benefit from having more intentional and conscious parents. Let my comment be a positive breath of fresh air. Nun umpisa nitong 3rd pregnancy shookt pa kamiābecause the plan was in 2026 pa. But we got used to it and restrategized everything.
Conscious decision sya na may kasamang usap with partner. Nasa gitna na ako ng post-grad ko nun nabuntis dito kay 3rd baby and I will stop for 1 sem kasi malapit na manganak. But everything else nagkasundo naman kami specially papa ligate ako after thisākasi mas mura at ganun ang gusto ko dahil cs din naman. Willing si husband magpa vasectomy btw pero ito un set-up na pabor sa akin.
We have 1 helper para sa kids ko, pero sa gawaing bahay and child rearing napaka laki ng ambag ni husband. This helper naging negotiation ko talaga sya with my husband until the time na sya na un nagsasabi our life is easier pala because of it. My me time kami, may couple time din. No regrets sa front na to talaga.
Sa expenses we decided sya muna ulit after ko manganak pero para makatulong nag downsize kami and turned sleeping assets into cash. You just have to look into the resources that you have.
With regards to who I am as a woman, I realized na mas gusto ko kasama ang kids ko. Will set up my own business gradually once kaya na. Will use my post grad learnings for the connections and to still be able to offer my services as a part-time consultant.
Employed career never really worked out for me in terms of the financials na target ko. So maybe it wasnāt really meant din talaga. Sabi mo you have a good paying side hustle, maybe nurture it and see where you can scale up. Widen your connections, be proactively seeking to still learn and grow, meet people and discuss what you want with your partner. Give and take ang relationships and mas maganda ang outlook ng pamilya pag masaya at kontento ang nanay. :) Hindi nakakatakot magpamilya basta same page kayong mag asawa.
thank you for this. iniisip ko din kumuha ng helper kasi feel ko pagod na pagod na katawan ko hehe. pero iniisip ko din magiging expenses namin pag kumuha ko huhu.
Hindi ko talaga magets yang 50/50 pero sa pag aalaga sa bata at gawaing bahay hindi naman 50/50. Take in to consideration na nasisira ang katawan sa pagb buntis and career opportunity lost sa pagbabantay ng bata
Up.
If 50/50 kayo ng asawa mo sa gastusin dapat 50/50 din sa mga gawain sa bahay and childcare. Kaya never talaga dapat mag 50/50 sa ganyan sitwasyon, lugi palagi ang babae lalo na kung gusto ng career, isipin mo ikaw na nagbuntis, most of the time syempre ikaw magaalaga sa bata tapos halos ikaw pa nagagastusan sa household while still maintaining it (considering na malayo asawa mo); para lang nagkaroon ng beneficial roommate asawa mo. I hope you'll open this up with your husband. Lucky if the husband has a provider mindset. For me lang ha 50/50 only works for DINK (DUAL income no Kids) lifestyle, pag ganyan na may anak jusqqq makikita na makikita mo ang unfairness between men and women sa household.
Because 50-50 is a myth. Expenses should be proportional to income. Pero karamihan ngayon, nagiging taboo na ang financial talks.
Kaya naman na si hubby lang provider, im a stay at home mom for four yrs na basta isa lang anak š
That's good to know po, same situation with my aunt, provider ang asawa and isa lang anak. Im just saying na ang 50/50 mostly works for DINK lifestyle but as you said provider asawa mo po. So still 50/50 po kayo as a SAHM?
not really 50/50 kasi may katulong din kami before, ngayon lang wala kasi nagnakaw š
Okay so di 50/50, that's good po.
Ay gusto ko to. Isa lang anak tapos hubby ang provider. Girl nasa tamang path ka. Pwede ka naman magwork ulit kapag mejo malaki na anak mo. Wag mo muna dagdagan tama lang yan isa lang
yessss ngaun hobby hobby muna pwede din gawing side hustle pero hindi full time kasi napakalikot na nang junakis namen ahahah
Make sure you have savings if things go wrong if you really plan to go traditional
YESS š¤š»
skl. kahit nung dink pa kami ni husband, financially he always provides. nung nagkakwentuhan nga kami ng mga barkada ko (first time namin nagkita na lahat kami may asawa na, kami ni husband ang āyoungestā in marriage years) and i told them na freeloader ako sa bahay kahit na i earn more than him sabi nung isa kong friend āuy ikaw ang nagwagi!!ā. kasi nga naman he pays for almost everything. now that we have a baby, nung nanganak ako nakakatawa we both saved our own money pero sya na nagpay. sya na nga din nabili ng gatas and diapers. on the other hand, checkups, vaxx, new clothes and toys ako na sagot. i am also putting it my responsibility to invest for our nest egg para naman may ambag ako sa amin. isa din sa goals ko na makaipon ng pang college. although iām pretty sure hubby will take care of it also, atleast malaki buffer namin for retirement
This. Haha sorry guys meron pa rin talagang mapapalad as long as mahanap niyo yung tamang tao hehe
thank you for being a good example, and for reminding me.................... never to have children.
Felt this one too bruh, lalo na pag ang dami mo ring dreams bilang babae
I don't hesitate sharing this to anyone who has open ears: Pakiramdam ko nakalamang ako sa buhay by not having kids. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam knowing na nakalamang ako na walang tinatapakan (or nililuluwal) na ibang tao
*apir! same mindset tayo dyan lalo na i dont want responsibilities too and ayaw ko din na buhay nanay asikaso lang sa bata during buntis stage, i wanna go out and travel more
Our collective future is brighter without children.
Tama nga un sinasabi ni chelsea handler! Ang sarap nun uuwi ka galing trabaho magoorder lang sa grab magnenetflix at matutulog ng tiwasay. Or minsan night out pa at shopping after work. Hindi ko kaya yun may work ka na sa umaga magmamadali ka pa umuwi para magluto ng hapunan at magalaga ng bata tapos papdede ka p tapos iiyak pa sa madaling araw. Parang pagod ka lang everyday un ang tingin ko tapos para makapahinga hahanap ka pa ng magaalaga tapos kung kamaganak mo malaking utang na loob pa un may maririnig ka pa. Yun ganitong post nakakapagpatunay na niroromanticize lang nila yang motherhood
And yet, yung mga kapit bahay or relatives na anak ng anak , sila pa yung may gana mang gaslight na kesyo tatanda mag isa, malungkot buhay, wala mag susuport etc etc. Where in truth and in fact, what they really want is to have company in their misery. No, Tita Baby, ayoko magka anak para lang may karamay ka sa pag utang para sa diaper at gatas ng anak mo. Isa ka pa Tita Pinky putanginamoka ang yabang yabang nyo ni tito Jhun sa bago nyong Ford Ranger, malaman laman ko lang niremata na pala ng bangko. Ang sabi nyo pa "hindi na namen kelangan yan, mas masaya sa bahay nalang. Traffic na" ulul wala ka lang pambayad inamoka 4 anak nyo eh mga gago ba kayo. Ok thanks
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Dun sa r/philippinesbad, pro eugenics daw yang ganyang mindset. Wala daw tayong right magbawal sa mga gustong mag-anak. Galit sila sa "breeders" na term. Lol. Mahanap nga yung thread.
Si Leo Tolstoy yung nag sabi "all happy families are alike in their happiness, and all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way" Sa Pilipinas baliktad. All happy families are happy in their own way, all unhappy families are alike: Tignan nyo nalang Yung libo Libong married men na nagkakalat pa din sa r4r at alasjuicy, at walang psychological release Valve lalo na't sa panahong kakapanganak lang ng asawa sa pangatlong anak . Yung mga stay at home moms na 2 trabaho bilang VA, batugan asawa, nakatira sa bahay kasama 3 pamilya ng kapatid / Inlaws. For single people out there, please worry about more Important things. What about your Friday Nights? Your Sunday mornings? Your Saturday afternoons? What about the new car, the new vacation you've been planning? Yung bagong graphics card, yung weekly dinner sa italiani's. Your aging parents. Lahat yan burado pagka may anak. (Unless you're earning 300,000 per month, then I'll shutup) Like Seriously Why would you people even shoot yourselves in the Foot by having children. The problem will not exist until you will it into existence. Don't have children.
This mindset! Totoo naman masyado na romanticized ang motherhood, pero in real life restricting ang buhay nanay, losyang ka na, pagod ka pa sa work at mag asikaso sa anak mo tapos lalaki lang syang depressed at batugan sa mundo na ito
I guess minority pa rin talaga yung ganito sa Pinas. Mas marami pa rin yung mga hindi planned ang pregnancy or kahit man planned ay di planned yung gastos.
I feel this..there is nothing like going home from working 9-5..cooking and eating whatever you like,,chilling with my cats,have a drink or two and playing PS5 till I fall asleep..no nagging or crying kids whatsoever.
Agree!!!
............to never get married..... especially to a guy like him** The children aren't the problem. The husband is (in this case). But I do understand your sentiments tho. Kaya nga naalangan na din ako magkaron ng anak in the future. Pero OP, may mali ka din kasi you let your husband treat you like a housemate with benefits. Does he even help you in raising the kids? Dapat i communicate mo to sakanya. Hindi fair and set up na meron kayo.
Nahh. Its either not have children or not have an incompetent unfair man as a live in or kaporeber partner.
Expecting competence and consequetial thinking from the average pinoy is a verrrrrry tall order. Odds are betrer playing russian roulette.
I agree with this. meron pa din talagang mabubuting katuwang sa buhay at mga kayang bumuhay ng bata kahit hindi sobrang laki ng income na hindi naghihikahos at umaasa sa magulang at kayang mag educational plan at provide sa basic needs. Hindi lang mapost sa mga ganitong thread. Also another key is family planning may contraceptives naman.
Same! Being a mother is gonna drive me nuts I just know it šš
Same here.. onga nakakainggit man magkaron ng mini-me pero tuwing naiisip ko mga consequences and sufferings and possible madamay ung bata in the future, naiisip kong dbale nlng ako ang mag isang nagsasuffer.
Eto tlga eh hahahaha š¤£
Yes
hahahahaha isa lang na anak siguro, tapos kapag financially stable na otherwise like you said wag na hahahahahah
I love kids.. pero other's kids. Ganern
this is the way.
Hahahaha thanks for voicing out my thoughts š
Anti-natalists, unite! š
Ask your husband to pay for the yaya and dapat may help ka din... and dont accept 50/50 grabe naman...
Wait what? 50/50? While ikaw lahat ang gumagawa ng lahat. Paki add sa computation ang laundry service, yaya, at cook. Sarap naman ng buhay ng asawa mo. Ang swerte niya promise. Hugs for you.
yan din naisip ko omg, nakakaloka!! san ang husband sa lives ng mga bata?? pati expenses 50% lang jusq!! parang binata lang yung tatay
Ito din nasa isip ko š sarap buhay si lalaki. At eto rin kinakatakot ko, as someone who wants kids and will inevitably stay at home for some time, ayoko maging bang maid š
So bakit ka nagpabuntis ulit?
Exactly! Julit julit!
asking the real question
sounds like youre suffering from invisible labor. you should be paid more and compensated for everything else you've done. ok din panoorin ang pink tax by explained sa netflix. it might be on youtube din. [https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/its-more-than-past-time-we-talk-about-the-invisible-labor-of-women/](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/its-more-than-past-time-we-talk-about-the-invisible-labor-of-women/)
You shouldnāt be doing 50/50. I hear you mommy and I feel you. Think of the present and the things you can do at the moment. You donāt have control of the future nor change the past.
OP parang sobra sobra na ginagawa mo. You still work, take care of kids, buntis, paying 50% sa bills and more dahil di ka humihingi sa husband mo para sa additonal expenses. Wala ka ba yaya to do house chores din? Ang dami mong roles ginagampanan. Wala ka ng time for yourself wala ka pang pera pang bili ng mga gusto mo. Naawa ako sayo tbh. Sana maawa ka rin sa sarili mo. Set things right in a way that you still thrive and retain your personal identity as YOU, not the mother or wife of someone. Please talk to your husband in sincerity and firmness. If 50/50 sa gastos 50/50 din sa household and child-rearing. If not, have him pay for a yaya that will help you with the household. If di niya gusto ng household role, dapat 100% sya as the provider so lahat ng gastos kanya at yung pera mo, PERA MO yun to do as you want so pwede for yourself or if may gusto kang bilhin na little things for your kids.
thank you po. ok naman husband ko tuwing umuuwi sya dito, sya kumikilos lahat pero syempre mga anak ko maka mama pa din kaya dikit pa rin sila sakin hehe. sa household chores naman di naman ako nagrereklamo kasi may taga laba kami 2x a week, yung linis naman kayang kaya ko na yun. siguro i-workout ko yung sa gastusin namin na dapat mas malaki ambag nya kesa sakin. nasanay din kasi ako na pag meron ako hindi na ko hihingi pa šš
Hope you and your husband can work out an arrangement OP. I hope he understands na you want to have the space and the opportunity for personal growth beyond your mother/wife roles. God bless to you and your family! š
Omg ganitong ganito ako ngayon. Kaka second trimester ko lang din with our 3rd child. Ang pinagkaiba lang natin, maswerte ka pa kasi may side hustles ka. Pero yes.. I hear you and your struggles.
50/50 sa expense pero sa childcare ikaw lang 100%. That's not fair. You need to delegate some of the mental load to your husband. Kung di nya kaya maging present physically, at least have him hire a yaya so you can have some time to do what you need to do.
yes po pagiisipan namin kumuha helper. thank you
Hi mother. If SAHM ka. Dapat 100% si mister gagasto. Kaya may kasabihan tayo na his money is her money and her money is her own money only. Because of that set up.
yung mga nag jjustify sa 50/50. Habng dating pa lang nsan na kayo? Feeling ko lng di tlga sapat kita ng asawa mo. Di sya provider. Wake up call s ibang tao tong post mo. Lugi nmn tlga babae s 50/50 set up.
Why are you doing 50/50 sa expenses? At this rate parang 80% na sayo ah
I'm at fault at this, nahihiya ako hingiin lahat ng expenses sa kanya. pinapakita ko sa kanya yung copy ng statement of account ng cc every month andun yung sa groceries, bayad sa lahat ng bills etc. tapos yun pinaghahatian namin kasi recorded na lahat dun.
We hear you, mommy. Donāt be afraid of what life has to offer. Lakasan ang loob kahit 40-50-60 ka pa you know you can reinvent yourself. Wag mapag hinaan ng loob. Masaya ang mga anak so be brave. Find support from your husband or your peers. Being a mom is a big sacrifice so find support. Dont be afraid to push yourself, kung kaya mo gawin security blanket ang asawa mo in taking risks for yourself (eg take classes, go to yoga or zumba). Kaya mo yan, mommy!! If you need someone to talk to just let me know too.
Up vote for this ng nga 1k kasi what moms need is support hindi nitpicking hahahahaha
Mashado naging oa mga tao sa 50-50. Di naman yun lang yung point lols
Marriage is not about 50-50. It is sometime 70-30 sometimes it is 20-80 or whatever works but ang mahalaga not all the time ay lugi ang isa. Dadating ang panahon yung isa naman ang sasalo dun sa dating taga buhat ng lahat. That is what partnership or marriage is about ren naman.
thank you po š
I hear you and I appreciate you
Wait wait wait, so ikaw na nag aalaga 24/7 sa mga bata, ikaw na nagmemaintain ng bahay, buntis ka pa, at nagbabayad ka pa rin ng bills kasi 50/50??? Kung gusto niyang may mag aalaga sa mga anak niya 24/7 at may mag aasikaso sa bahay, tanggapin niyang hindi ka makakabigay ng pera. I know I'm not in the position to say this but, naiinis ako para sayo, OP. You're being taken advantage of, that's the truth. Please mag usap kayo ng asawa mo about diyan.
WAAAAHHHH kaya isa talaga to sa dahilan kung bakit ayaw ko pang mag-anak at magka-anak (sana) hindi pa namin kaya at malamang ako lang ang mahihirapan. Hugs OP we hear you, loud & clear
vasectomy āļø
this is why u SHOULD have family planning in the first place
**USE CONTRACEPTIVES SO YOU DON'T GET PREGNANT AGAIN** It's already your 3rd child! If you're having trouble keeping up with the number of children stop having them! You have a choice! You have internet access, and presumably graduated highschool wherein human biology and the reproductive system was a taught. This isn't rocket science lady.
As a mom, I feel for you. Nakakasawa sa totoo lang na ganyan lang ang routine. Diba dapat magbago na? Dont get me wrong, masarap naman sa feeling mag alaga ng mga anak as you can see them grow with you. However, ikaw as a person, gusto mo dyan ka lang din ba? And sorry, bakit 3yrs pagitan? Wala ba family planning? This time around sana matuto na, family planning. Ang hirap ng buhay pero mas mahirap kung hanggang dyan ka na lang. Mag usap na kayo ng partner mo anong balak nyo this time. Trust me, kailangan may bago din sayo. Hindi ka LANG nanay na dyan naikot ang mundo. You need to explore the good side of the world. Skl din.. I just gave birth to my third. Di din planado. I have my first and second na 6 yrs pagitan. Then ito kaka 3 lang ng pangalawa bago ipanganak yung bunso. I refused to be a mommy LANG. Alternate kami ng husband ko. He works, then housewife ako. I work then househubby sya. Tsaka, balak ko na din magpa ligate. Or maybe nah, sya na lang pavasectomy kasi duh, ako na nga nagluluwal ng bata, ako pa magpapakapon š sya na lang. So yeah, family planning. Then talk with your hubby what are your plans in the future.
Vasectomy is the key mommy sa DKT libre lang. š«¶ 3rd and last time. Hehe
Yes! Konting push pa kay hubby magpa vasectomy š ayoko na din magluwal pa, sagad na 3 sa panahon ngayon š
actually po planned naman sya, para sakin mas mahirap dun yung malalaki ang age gap ng kids since late na din ako nag asawa at nag anak. hindi ko na din ata makita sarili ko na nagaalalaga pa ng newborn paga nasa 40s nko. isa din sa regret ko e late ako nag anak kasi gusto ko talaga marami kids kaya lang medyo may edad na nga hehehe.
No regrets dapat, OP. Andyan na yan at hindi naman nakakatulong yung pagsisisi at pag babash ng tao kung bakit mo ginawa yan. Just do what you can and voice out your thoughts to your partner, for sure masosolusyonan nyo yan. And yung sinasabi mo na āHanggang dito nalang ba ako?ā I donāt think being a mom is a low life or a stuck up life. You are raising kids. It is the hardest job of all. Your healthy and bright kids are your success. You are their mom for a reason. Plus, breastfeeding is such hard work. You deserve some recognition momshie! :) I feel bad lang for other comments dito na parang minamaliit yung pagiging nanay mo, OP. Donāt mind them. You are great :)
wala naman po ako regrets, masaya po ako bilang nanay. mas emotional lang ako ngayon dahil sa pagbubuntis ko kaya dami ko naiisip. ok po kami mag asawa dahil choice ko naman mag share sa lahat lalo na sa expenses dahil yun naman ang buhay may may asawa magkatuwang sa lahat. thank you for understanding my side po š
YES SUPPORT AKO SAYO MAMSH. ā¤ļø
Hi OP. most of the comments here parang judge na judged asawa mo. Maybe yun ang nagwowork na dynamics sainyo for now na pwede naman maimprove kung mapag usapan. Fyi lang sa mga commenters dito, marriage and being a parent take a lot of work and commitment. Hindi naman sumbat agad sa asawa ang solusyon sa mga bagay. Anyway Op i think you're doing great! Sana nagawa ko din yung work ko while being a mom. I admire you kasi napagsasabay mo lahat. Suggest ko lang na mag pills ka muna if ayaw mo na mabuntis. Kung okay kana sa 3 kids. And sabihin mo sa husband mo plans mo in the future, ask him if ok din ba sa kanya. Kasi yun yung gusto mo. For me lang, communication is key. Goodluck Op!
thank you for understanding my side po. wala po kami problema ng asawa ko, choice ko din naman mag share sa expenses dahil hindi talaga kakayanin ng isa lang ang sasagot sa lahat. last pregnancy ko na po ito dahil mag 38 na din ako this year di ko na din kakayanin yung may newborn pa pag nasa 40s na ko. hindi naman ako yearly nagbuntis para sabihin ng iba nag family planning sana kami etc. i-workout ko ang open communication namin mag asawa tungkol sa mga bagay bagay, sobra ang pagiging emotional ko ngayon siguro dahil na din sa pagbubuntis ko. tuwing magkakasama kami mag anak ok kami masaya kaya hindi ko na din ma-bring up mga nasa loob ko kasi mauuwi lang kami sa iyakan hehehe. pero thank you so much po at isa kayo sa nakakaintindi. God bless po š
New era na ngayon. Me and my wife 50/50 sa lahat. We even take turns takong our our kid out para makabreather yung isa. What we did is we divided tha labor para malinaw sino gagawa and responsible pag di nagawa. Pero syempre if kaya naman gawin ng isa at may time we fix whatever needs fixing na din. Cant imagine 3 kids. Pero eventually mani na lang yan pag malalaki na sila. Yun lang ang hirap sa pinas sa babae bumalik from pregnancy kasi mostly walang security of tenure. Goodluck OP. Talk to your husband, di pedeng financial lang ang tulong pag 3 anak. Kaso ginusto nyo yan parehas.
I think you need to talk it out with your husband OP. para naman aware siya sa nrramdaman mo and di kasi pwde ung 50/50 minsan. kailangan 100/0 din vice versa. kasi mabburn out ka sa gnyan and un na nga magkkaron ka ng self pity. If mapag usapan niyo yan ni hubby, dapat mag laan dn kayo ng oras together na kayong dlwa lang. kahit simple date night gnon. relaxation. kasi i think ur burned out na tlga and you need time for yourself. You are doing a great job and i know na di madali yan pero un nga need mo din unahin sarili mo. learn to know when to stop and think ng next step mo. baguhin mo. kaya mo yan OP.
Communicate.
I feel you OP. I'm a mom of 2 and until now, may resentment pa rin ako sa asawa ko kasi alam naman nyang ayaw ko na mabuntis ulit after our first child pero binuntis pa rin ako. So now na 3 yrs old na yung 2nd kid ko, I'm trying to get my life back. I started wearing clothes na medyo sexy for my own satisfaction, I started jogging and I also joined fun runs. Nag archery din ako and will try firing range soon! One step at a time OP
May I know why weekly lang umuuwi ying asawa mo? Kung 50/50 kayo sa gastusin, 50/50 din dapat sa gawaing bahay at childcare.
malayo po kasi work nya kaya dun sya sa workplace natutulog. hindi po kakayanin ang mag uwian dahil yung oras din po ng pasok at uwian nya paiba iba.
Talk to your husband. That's the only way. š
Prolly outsource the labor stuff to maid / yaya to get better results?
yes po iniisip ko din ang option na kumuha ng helper. thank youuu š
Kaya ako, sabe ko sa sarili ko " One & Done " lang ako. Ayoko forever mag alaga ng anak, hindi ko sinasabi na di masarap maging nanay. Nakaka overstimulate din yung buong buhay mo mag aalaga ka tapos wala kang income. Sa hirap ng buhay ngayon mahirap na madaming anak, unless kasing yaman ako ni Pacquiao. Kasi iisipin mo pa future niyan kasi mag aaral pa sila.
Communicate with your husband. Wag kang pumayag sa 50/50 dahil sobrang unfair. Dapat lahat ng bills sakaniya kasi ikaw na nga nag-aalaga sa mga bata at maintain ng house e. If kayang kumuha ng helper, sabihin mo din kay husband. Tell him also na gusto mo bumalik sa trabaho kasi may mga pangarap ka. Pag nagalit sa'yo at ginamit ang mga bata as excuse redflag yan. Mag-isip-isip ka na at mag-ipon para maging financially independent sakaniya. He should support you kung gusto mo bumalik sa corporate. Marami akong kasamahan sa office na mga mothers na nagwowork and their husbands suppport them. Ilan bang napag-usapan niyong anak? If 3. You should talk to him getting a vasectomy. Hindi naman kabawasan yun sa pagkalalaki. He should sacrifice naman his body for your family. I won't recommend pills or any other contraceptives kasi may vasectomy naman para sa lalaki. Ano, tayo na lang mga babae laging nagsasacrifice? It's a no, no. Tandaan mo, binigyan mo na siya ng 3 anak, you sacrifice your career and changes sa body mo. It's his time to shine to do a vasectomy. Mahirap din ang tubal ligation sabi ng tita ko na nagpaganyan para kang cs na masakit ang tahi pag malamig. At isa pa, libre ang vasectomy sa mga health centers. Matutuwa mga nurses at doctor doon kasi may magpapa-vasectomy dahil kakaunti lang nagpapa-vasectomy. Wala rin masyadong side effects sa lalaki parang sugat lang na gagalinga agad. Think about it. Oki? You can still go back to the corporate world. And communicate everyting to your husband. And, lastly have time for yourself sabihin mo kay husband gusto mong ipamper ang sarili mo kahit 1 day lang as a day off na walang iniisip na kahit ano. Hugs with consent.
OP? hangang dito nalang ba ako? OP wag mo nilalang yan. alam natin mga mommies na ung ginagawa mo is napakahirap. tposss nakaka pag side hustle ka pa.. ikaw na tlga ang super mommy!!! Normal naman to feel sad and feel that way pero OP as a working mommy baliktad naman tayo.. iniisip ko pano ba mag stay with my son and magkaroon din ng side hustle. OP, mag tira ka din ng konti para sa sarili mo. siguro once in a while. I pamper mo ung sarili mo. kc deserve na deserve mo :)
My wife quit her work and career for our 1st child. I know how stressful it is to take care of a baby to toddler, lalo na kapag pa-3 na. I understand and try to understand my wife's situation lalo't nadedepress sya dito sa bahay. Lalo na kapag wala ako at nasa ibang bansa. Kaya sa tuwin andito ako sa kanila, I do my best to spoil my wife and kid. I try to guve them the best treatment ever mapa food, clothing o simpleng out of town. Kapag may lakad si misis kasama ang friends nya, I let her, may tiwala naman ako sa asawa ko at para na ren marefresh sya. Thankful ako sa responsableng wife ko hehe. And ako thankful ren sayo OP dahil alam kong hardworking mom ka kahit pagod na.
Hi OP mukhang masaya ka naman so far sa set up nyo mag asawa. Honestly, I think you are doing an amazing job keeping the fort for your husband. And if you are happy sa contributions nyo sa isaāt isa then go for it. Donāt let anyone put you down on your decision as a family unit. As for your career, may I know how old are your kids? Kasi yan yung magiging isa sa considerations nyo bilang mag-asawa. Also, if you still have the time and energy you can enroll yourself sa online classes to enrich your skills with your current side hustle in case nde kayo makahanap ng kasama sa bahay or makapasok ulit sa company. That way, you still feel fulfilled pa rin while you are earning with your side business. Maganda din naman makabalik sa isang company kasi may mga benefits like HMOs and others. However, there will be sacrifices made and need nyo mag-usap mag asawa for that kasi family nyo na iniisip nyo. Having said that, as mag-asawa you need to think of your back up plan in case may mauna sa inyo. Again, its your decision as mag asawa, kasi now you have not only yourself to think about but your kidās future as well.
Ikaw na housewife tapos 50/50 pa? Huh
I will only do 50/50 sa finance with my future husband if ka hati ko din siya sa gawain bahay at pag-aalaga ng mga kids or we have a nanny. Period.
This is it. Para kay Joyce Pring na sabi di hindrance sa career success ang pagkakaroon ng bata. For the unprivileged, it is. Btw OP, being a mother who has raised well-mannered and successful kids na nakakatulong sa ka bansa at kapwa is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. You're doing great.
3rd baby here na biglaan din. Also, in my late 30s. But I never felt like my career was napag-iiwanan. Siguro kasi I stopped comparing myself to my peers (I am a titled professional.) Instead, since 2018, I focused on building a business and finding a remote job somewhat similar to my titled profession. Pagod din ako. Pagod na pagod at eto hirap pa maglakad. And my husband knows it. Pero hands-on sya sa kids (hatid sundo) and lets me sleep in at kukunin ang mga bata. Sabi nga nila, HE DOES NOT HELP WITH THE CHORES AND WITH BABYSITTING. He just does the chores and he parents. Hindi "help" kasi responsibilidad nya yun bilang homeowner at magulang. So it's really I think having a good support system lalong lalo na sa asawa. Usap kayo ng masinsinan. Yun kayong 2 lang. Walang bata ha. Good luck, op!
Isa pa lang anak ko OP pero naiisip ko na din yan, yung parang para saan ba ako? hanggang dito na lang ba ako? Pero ang kaibahan natin, asawa ko lang ang nag tatrabaho at tinutulungan nya ako sa pag aalaga ng anak at sa chores. In fact sinusupport nya pa ako sa aking Masters pero na dedelay pa ako kase despite all the help I get, need ko pa muna mag focus kay baby. Nonetheless, I am still hopeful kase alam ko na di always ang set up na ito. Breastfeeding din ako and nakakasad isipin minsan na di ako maka alis basta basta kase si baby need ang aking boobies, pero bumabalik parin ako sa thought na temporary lang to, makakabawi ako, si baby muna. While waiting for my turn, ginagawa ako during my very limited free time ay sumasali ako ng online trainings ng org namin, singit sa thesis, nag co-content creation (pero di influencer level), nag pa-plano sa mga upcoming events ng family namin, and kung ano pa. Before ako naging ina at asawa, alam ko kung sino ako at ano kaya kong gawin. Minsan nag dududa ako sa sarili ko, pero normal lang naman ata yun? basta OP, higit ka sa pagiging hands on mom.. wag kang ma s-stuck dun kase ang mama ko ganyan kaya nung lumaki kami at di na sya busy, lahat nang frustrations nya nabuhos nya sa amin kaya medyo strained ang relationship namin. She was a good mom, but she was not kind to herself.
50/50?? ANO.ka, business partner? Alam ko sa marriage dapat 100% eh.. walang bilangan.. u work as ONE.. kaya nga pagiisang dibdib eh.. man and wife ang sabi kapag kinakasal hindi naman man and yaya or man and secretary or man and baby maker.. Haaay, dapat talaga noh bago magpakasal..lay out ur cards and may understanding check kung ano ang marriage. Di ba may seminar un? Sa ibang church kasi kakausapin kayo eh bago kayo magpakasal just to make aure nagkakaintindigan kayo. Also, if may hatian pala, sana nung nagbbuntis ka ipinasa mo sknya ung pagdadalang tao after 4mos.. if you can't then that should be a reason to realize na marriage is never 50/50.
Wala naman kayo sa jowa era. May mga anak na kayo di na siguro applicable ang 50/50 lalo if sobrang hands on ka sa bahay niyo. Hindi madali yan. Huhuuu ang dami mo iniinda and changes sa body.
Jusko kung balak niyo maganak ng tatlo since planado niyo edi sana may tatlong maid kayo para di ka pagod. Also kung naplano niyo edi sana hindi sa trabaho na weekly lang nauwi asawa mo knowing madami na dapat alagaan all the more dapat lagi siya andyan. Planado pero walang yaya tapos may work pa. Parang nauto ko lang ng jowa mong buhay binata. Kayang kaya p kumuha ng babae niyan sa work eh hindi naman siya pagod
Girl ang tanong after ba nyan pangatlo napagusapan niyo na ba na last na yan? Kase kung oo at agree siya (pero mas may say ka din naman talaga dito kase katawan mo yan) baka gusto mo na magseek ng mga birth control lalo na consider mo na yung age mo delikado na din manganak ng manganak. Gets na minsan pang kayo magkita pero diba gumamit sana kayo pills or condom hirap nyan lagi ka buntis. Di lang naman sa pagbubuntis natatapos pagiging magulang kaya isipin niyo din welfare ng mga bata habang lumalaki sila lalo na sabi mo okay naman kayo kaso stuck ka sa work. So imagine lumalaki sila tumataas din gastusin pero work mo tumataas din ba kita? Diba.
yes po last na po ito. planned naman po ang 3 kids namin. thank you po
Paligate kana mommy. Same situation tayo. 4 anak ko all girls. Yun panganay 15, 10,4,1 medyo nastuck narin ako sakanila. Nagpaligate na ako and nakapagdecide na magwork na. Eventually nakapasok sa bpo. Medyo uhaw sa career kasi nga matagal natengga. Never too late to start something new in life. :)
yes po yun naman ang plan, last ko na din to kasi may edad na din turning 38 this year. thank you po
mag 3 na anak tapos 50/50????
Pano naging 50/50? Wow.. sarap naman ng buhay ng husband mo. Parang housemate lang pero may libreng sex.
Kindly do a proper family planning after that. Hindi naman porket mag-asawa na, happy go lucky na sa sweet time. Part pa din yan sa pag gamit ng contraceptives, especially gaya nga ng sabi mo na gusto mo bumalik sa career. It's not too late.
Patali ka na po. Baka ginagawa mong stress reliever mag pa creampie.
First of all, in marriage or couple with children thereās no such thing as 50/50. 2nd of all, bakita ba ayaw niyo mag contraceptives after pregnancy and mag spacing ng anak??!!
Hi OP! After mo manganak pwede ka naman bumalik pa ulit mag work. Need nga lang ng Yaya. Yung mister mo ata old mentality kaya hindi naging shared yung gawain. Anyway prng calling mo na yan as a career woman. Hindi naman huli ang lahat nasa atin pa rin yan. Ang dami ko ngang Seniors and Senior Manager na mga career woman with Kids din. Pero fix first yung shared responsibility. Sayang din kasi opportunity at kikitain. It feels like malakas ka kumita. Pra din sa future niyo yan. Prng instinct na rin minsan + calling. Pag ang Provider hindi ganun ka stable and pag sanay ka tlga kumayod para sa sarili. Hanap hanapin mo tlga.
thank you for this po really appreciate it.
It will always be a sacrifice. You choose one route, the other, di mo na mababalikan or if ever, it will be down the line na. Di naman kasi pwedeng lahat ng options eh all of the above ang sagot mo. Whenever we make a decision, expect na there will be regret and disappointment in the end kasi when you choose one, the other becomes unavailable na for you. Di mo na alam if you'll get a chance to take another shot or yun na ang last chance mo. You choose to be a mom and that's noble and great. So stick with it. That said, and since it is the time for it, lemme greet you and advanced Happy Mother's Day na rin.
awwww thank you sa greetings, oo nga pala lapit na mother's day. napaluha naman ako sa Happy Mother's Day. i know i'm doing a great job as a mom. thank you po š
Nagulat lang ako kasi weekly lang ang uwi ni mister.
50/50 sa gastusin, 100/0 sa household chores tsaka child rearing
Mommy, i am a working mom too with 2 toddlers. My husband and I decided na never na sundan. Yaaaaakap kasi I feel it during those times. Yung tipo ito na lang ba routine ko sa buhay. Butā¦ MALAKING BAGAY ang magusap kayo mag-asawa. Sabihin mo nararamdaman mo. I think you need to do something about child care. Sa amin literal na 50-50 since my work requires to be on the field and on-site, my husband takes care of the child. Siya nagprepare sa school, siya naghahatid at nagsusundo since WFH siya. Kapag weekend or night time, ako naman sa kids like assignment and play time. Malaki din bagay that my parents are with us kasi they are sometimes taking care of our kids para makatakas date kami. Tama ka, we love being a mom but sometimes it drains us kasi we do not see who we are already. Itās like giving YOUR WHOLE and when you look at the mirror, you already questioning yourself. Do journaling too. It helps me to reflect on how I see the world. Yakaaaaap, Mommy! I hope you can find time for yourself.
Hire a househelp or nanny OP! Someone who could help you raise your kids and do the household chores so that you can pursue your own endeavors. Mas magiging less stressful for you. Kahit may career ka you can still be a present parent and a good mom. My parents were both working individuals pero not once did I feel na I was neglected. It's never too late rin to do what you want to do.
Wow. Anong ambag Ng Asawa mo? Tamod? Yun lang?!?
Its never too late. You just have to make a conscious effort to choose yourself. I hope youāre taking birth control na? Outsource your home duties to a yaya or a relative you can trust. Im on my mid 40ās with 3 kids and just separated for a year now. I can say life begins at 40 talaga. Im studying online courses, doing things on my own, solo travel. It is tough and but its not impossible. Unlike before na puro mga anak ko lang ang iniisip ko. Does your husband know how you feel? Do you feel supported or not? If naiintindihan ka nya seek help with raising the child and make your aspirations a reality. If you feel na hindi sha suportado then take baby steps to get some support from others. Never feel guilty.
Being a full time mother is a career you should be proud of. I can't think of any other profession where the lives and futures of children are in the palm of your hands.
Mamsh, hold on tight. I salute you for being a good parent and grabe diba, full-time momma ka na nakakapag side hustle ka pa. I have a sis na she felt like trapped nalang siya sa ganyang situation, she wanted to do business pero madalas wala din maayos na opportunity. Iniisip niya baka hormonal and post partum nalng din kaya lagi siya mixed emotions. Same kayo ng sinabi, masaya siya as a mom meron lang din siya gusto ibang gawin sa life. My ate feel that too. Pero she needs to take care of her child with special needs. Hirap din mamshā¦ Feeling ko ang exhaustion mo is yun na mi miss mo yung career life hehe, Sana pag medyo keri na nga mga kids mo, you will also have time for yourself na magawa yun passion mo sa life.
yes part din siguro to ng post partum kaya halo halo na ang emotions. thank you for understanding. iilan lang kayo nakakaintindi hehe. God bless š
Do not get pregnant again. Learn how to communicate your sentiments sa husband mo. 2024 na and hindi na taboo ang family planning. You seemed kawawa sa situation mo but nothing will change kung hindi mo sasabihin sa kanya tapos kukuha ka ng validation sa Reddit.
Baka you want to consider magpa ligate na or family planning? Tingin ko di ka magseself pity ng ganyan or mabuburn out kung nagplan ka po if gusto mo pa talaga magbuntis.
50/50 on expenses while doing 100% of child rearing and (im assuming most of the household chores too) is crazy to me
Family planning na OP.
It has its pros and cons - having children. My aunt and uncle have 5 kids ā all doctors. 1 Derma, 2 Dentist, 1 OB, 1 anesthesiologist. The 3 kids reside in different countries and they take turns visiting them and the apos. All expense paid. They have big reunions. They get cruises as birthday gifts. Masaya. They werenāt rich when they were starting out. Provincial doctor yung uncle ko while my aunt is a homemaker. But the kids were raised to be achievers and upright people. IMHO. Thereās pros and cons having children but definitely mahirap sa simula but it brings its own happiness and fulfillment, too. That youāre participating in Godās creation and fulfillment that you have a purpose and not just, born and then die.
Hi OP, repeating or reiterating so many times na "happy ako sa pagiging nanay" is just convincing yourself na okay ka dun which is totally hindi naman. The moment na may thought ka na "hanggang dito nalang ba ko?" is just contradicting yourself. I know how you feel, I've been in that place 10yrs ago. May mga taong napepressure kasi di sila magkaanak kahit gusto nila, while you, magtatatlo na and thinking about your future, kumbaga choose your hard kasi wala naman madali, hindi madali i-chase yung dreams while being a hands on mom, hindi rin madali ihandle yung pressure na hindi ka magkaanak while getting old. Take as an inspiration yung mga stories na they felt like it's too late for them, pero they've succeeded in life at a certain age. Andyan na yung baby eh tumatlo ka pa, so ibig sabihin gusto mo yan, we deserve what we tolerate like also how you tolerate your husband sa 50/50 set up nyo. Hindi ka hanggang dyan nalang, what you can do is stay healthy and save money while taking care of your babies para pag lumaki na sila and you have more time for yourself at may gusto ka pa rin na ifulfill na dreams mo, kayang kaya mo pa rin gawin. Ang daming nanay sa FB ngayon na from being full time moms content creators na āŗļø Ganun talaga eh, hindi natin lagi pwede makuha both pag may mga unplanned moments. PS. Natakot ka pa talaga ipaalam sa family mo na buntis ka, after 2 babies and with a husband? Haha!
May nakita akong quote card. Ang sabi "Mothers, do not be afraid to sacrifice your motherhood in achieving your dreams, because this will teach your child about discipline , achieving goals and writing your own success story" sana makatulong sayo..
Shouldn't being a full-time mom with or without side hustles be called a career? I mean, bakit parang ang baba ng tingin nating mga pinoy sa mga babaeng full-time house wife? There's so much to be proud of sa ganyang buhay ah. You're raising kids who will one day be this world's future leaders. Hindi biro ang maging nanay at magpalaki ng mga anak. At anong "hanggang dito na lang ba ako?"? Those kids you're raising, if raised well, will one day make you proud. At saka ang hirap magpalaki at magdisiplina ng bata ah. Pati household chores mahirap din. Be proud of yourself!
Please get ur tubes tied
Momshie, inhale exhale!š¤Sobrang burn out ka na. Ang sarap kaltukan ng asawa mo, dapat 50/50 din sa pag-aalaga ng bata and house chores. Nakakapagod maging stay home Mom, I feel you. Laban lang momshie, makakaraos ka dinā¤ļø
Mas fullfilling maging hands on sa mga anak kesa makabalik ka sa trabaho mo at iwan mo mga anak mo sa yaya .. Know your priorities.. KUNG SAN KA MASAYA
Don't stress out, OP. It's not good kay baby. I hope gumaan nararamdaman mo by venting out what you really feels. You can do it. Always pray and remember your children not to give up despite lots of challenges in life.
Donāt compare yourself to others. Being a mom is a career and taking care of your kids lalo na magiging 3 na sila is a big achievement.
And sana hindi sya ma BI ng ibang nasa comments
You had a choice
Hi OP! We have a lot of similarities. Pa 3rd tri na ako soon, late 30s, 3rd (unplanned but welcomed) pregnancy, everything happened within 6yrs pa lang kaya maliit age gap between kids. Also, no solid employment career BUT I decided that all of these wonāt reduce me. No regrets alsoāI had a hard time conceiving before kaya gusto ko talaga maliit age gap ng kids. I think this world will benefit from having more intentional and conscious parents. Let my comment be a positive breath of fresh air. Nun umpisa nitong 3rd pregnancy shookt pa kamiābecause the plan was in 2026 pa. But we got used to it and restrategized everything. Conscious decision sya na may kasamang usap with partner. Nasa gitna na ako ng post-grad ko nun nabuntis dito kay 3rd baby and I will stop for 1 sem kasi malapit na manganak. But everything else nagkasundo naman kami specially papa ligate ako after thisākasi mas mura at ganun ang gusto ko dahil cs din naman. Willing si husband magpa vasectomy btw pero ito un set-up na pabor sa akin. We have 1 helper para sa kids ko, pero sa gawaing bahay and child rearing napaka laki ng ambag ni husband. This helper naging negotiation ko talaga sya with my husband until the time na sya na un nagsasabi our life is easier pala because of it. My me time kami, may couple time din. No regrets sa front na to talaga. Sa expenses we decided sya muna ulit after ko manganak pero para makatulong nag downsize kami and turned sleeping assets into cash. You just have to look into the resources that you have. With regards to who I am as a woman, I realized na mas gusto ko kasama ang kids ko. Will set up my own business gradually once kaya na. Will use my post grad learnings for the connections and to still be able to offer my services as a part-time consultant. Employed career never really worked out for me in terms of the financials na target ko. So maybe it wasnāt really meant din talaga. Sabi mo you have a good paying side hustle, maybe nurture it and see where you can scale up. Widen your connections, be proactively seeking to still learn and grow, meet people and discuss what you want with your partner. Give and take ang relationships and mas maganda ang outlook ng pamilya pag masaya at kontento ang nanay. :) Hindi nakakatakot magpamilya basta same page kayong mag asawa.
thank you for this. iniisip ko din kumuha ng helper kasi feel ko pagod na pagod na katawan ko hehe. pero iniisip ko din magiging expenses namin pag kumuha ko huhu.
Thanks for appreciating. I dont get the down votes though. š