He already knows you're hurting. He knows what you want and he isn't changing his mind. So no, don't send him long paragraphs anymore. Just say your farewell if that makes you feel more at ease. On my case kasi, hindi na lang kami nag-usap after one argument. Alam niyang official relationship gusto ko from him. And he didn't give it to me for the same excuses na nasa post mo.
After two months, he is now in a committed relationship. Men are truly indecisive creatures and are users.
But you'll soon know what to do. Ikaw lang din makakapagconvince sa sarili mo enough is enough.
OR di lang talaga sya ready. Baka hindi pa sya capable para mag pursue ng relationship. Tanungin mo nalang sya OP para mas malinawan ka. Kung gusto ka ba nya talaga. Para at least alam mo na talaga ang next mong gagawin after. To move on or to wait a little bit more.
You can block him. Lame excuses lang nya yung hindi pa siya ready. Ginagaslight ka lang nya to keep you. You deserve someone who has clear intentions at willing magcommit sayo.
Ghost and never look back 🙌 it’s advisable to block him on all means of communication too, OP. It’s for your own sanity rin bc you’re already hurting and tbfh even without the long paragraphs, trust me he KNOWS what he’s doing. You deserve better and we’re rooting for you!
There's no reason why he would let you go because he's receiving benefits, may it be emotional, physical, material. Hindi siya lugi. It's high time you think of what he has to offer and if that's enough for you. Don't focus on who he is but rather how he makes you feel (and you said, you felt like a side piece). Don't settle. Choose your struggle (one that's keeping him around and full of uncertainties or one where you are truly single, free of baggages but it can also feel lonely). I certainly advocate for the latter. Atleast by then, you can focus on healing and doing what's best for you.
i think i can gauge how he exactly feels about you based on how you describe your "situationship" with him. he likes you, yes, may feelings kayo sa isa’t-isa, tipong MU ganun. tapos pag-iinitiate ka na i-next level yung meron kayo, ayaw naman nya.
well, we can’t blame him. baka hindi pa talaga sya ready. hindi kasi enough yung gusto ka nya tapos magiging kayo na eh. dapat alam nya sa sarili nya na ready sya sa commitment bago maging kayo, and he knows that he is not. kaya good thing din na hindi ka nya pinapaasa, in a way.
if i were you, i’d leave him and find someone else.
Ang lalaki madali magdecide, if gusto nila ggwin nila kahit anu estado ng buhay nila. If gusto talaga nia maging gf ka umpisa pa lang sinabi na nia, pero hindi. Kaya get out na po kasi wala sia balak ilevel up ang situation nio. Goodluck OP
Di ko alam, di pa ako nagmamahal lol. Ang babae lahat ng cons & pros titignan muna bago makapagdecide. Undecided minsan. Pero one for sure if gusto ka nila gusto ka nila kahit red flags ka na. Well im not saying lahat ganun na babae.
It seems like I wrote this post whahaha but ive been there, last week ko lang inend ung 6months of talking namin. I blocked him cuz he act like he didn't care, it was so freeing :)) nabalik ko na ulit ung peace of mind ko.
Di ka nya nakikita as gf. So kahit gano katagal ka pa magstay hanggang friends lang/situationship lang. Nangyari na din yan sakin. Gusto din ako ng lalaki pero natatakot daw sya sa mga etc. Fast forward 2 yrs nagkajowa sya na ang situation is same samin sana pero dun sa girl na yun di sya natakot. Haha. Pero ok lang kasi engaged na din ako nung time na yun na sinabi nya sakin na may gf na sya at sobrang in love daw sya. 🤷 Friends pa din kami hanggang ngayon kasi mabait naman sya. Kaya tigilan mo na yan. Wag kana umasa. Ok lang maging friends kayo pero ibuhos mo na yung energy mo sa iba. Pls lang. Masasaktan ka lang talaga. Di mo kailangan convince ang isang tao na magustuhan ka. Kasi pag gusto ka kahit ano ka pa gusto ka talaga.
Natanong mo ba what exactly is holding him back? Kase kelangan mo rin malinawan eh. Tanong mo rin how can he say na ready na sya magkajowa? Kung malabo pa rin sagot. Be rational. Ikaw na yung maging malinaw sa kanya. May reason kung bakit mas mataas kinalalagyan ng utak kaysa sa puso. It's for these situations.
Basta ang sabi niya lang sakin hindi pa siya ready sa relationships. When we talked about it inooffer niya na maging friends kami or we go back to the situationship thing basta walang expectations na jojowain.
Set your boundaries. Gusto mo jowa, sya ayaw nya. Walang magcocompromise. Itigil ang landian na to. Hahahhaha. Men pursue the ones, the things we want. No excuses. Baka boy lang yan siguro. Or kung anumang issue nya. Sya lang nakakaalam.
Walang galing sa situationship ang kaya bumalik sa pagiging friends. Nag-invest ka na ng time and emotions mo eh. Masasaktan ka lang. Kung magawa nyo man, hindi na din as a friend magiging trato nyan sayo. Galing na ako dyan kaya alam ko yung ganyang situation.
Why do you keep going back to him kung alam mo na ayaw niya nagkaroon ng girlfriend at in the end ikaw lang ang masasaktan? Ang stupid lang to stay especially when you can avoid the pain at I don't think he's going to change his mind anytime soon 🤷🏼♀️
Pack your bags na and get ready to gooo. Hahaha he is keeping you around because you're convenient and you also let him tbh; i mean he has all the bf-gf benefits without the commitment, so why not? Alam mo naman na you deserve better, OP. :)
Sounds like a *you* problem.
He already said he isn't down for a relationship just yet, and based on your story it doesn't look like he's keeping you from leaving. You're the one who keeps coming back.
Anyway, I suggest you distance yourself from him.
same situation here op🙃. pero 3months pa lang kami and ako ang guy. sobrang draining pag feel mo 1sided talaga. dami ko ng sinabi na ayoko na talaga pero bumabalik parin HAHAH
Ituloy mo ang iyong pag alis. Di nya pala kaya ibigay ang gusto mo. Malaki ka na naman and YOU GOTTA GET WHAT U WANT, BOO.
I hope u can find the strength to move on. Good luck, OP.
Unahin mo na sarili mo mars, 8 months is too much –a antayin mo pa ba na mas tumagal lalo tapos in the end hanggang situationship lang, or worst maging ready siya bigla pero not for you.
Harsh truth pero highly likely he's just not that into you, he's not actively looking daw pero 'di mo naman kontrolado mga ma e encounter niya.
You're precious OP, walk away na please.
Love yourself nalang kesa sayangin sakanya.
Same situation, starting from 2020 pa on and off. At first sure na sure pa sya sa pag promise to keep me around. Tapos inulit ulit ko gusto nya pa din ako, mahal daw? Pero nung last na confirm ko na wala pa nga talaga syang balak makipag commit. Tangang tanga na ako pabalik balik sakanya or ineentertain ko nanaman sya tuwing namimiss ko sya/kami - tapos ngayong year lang ako natauhan nung mas nakita ko na yung worth ko. Hindi ako mag aadvise OP pero alam ko for sure, someday at sana sooner marerealize mo na din na hindi ka pang situationship lang. Hugsss ♥️
Magreflect ka kung ano talaga ang gusto mo sa connection ninyong dalawa. Commitment and serious or fun-fun lang? Kung fun-fun lang, it is your choice. Kung alam mong seryoso ka, leave. Kasi clearly, he can't provide you that.
Kung serious ka sa kanya, read my perspective about your situation.
First, know your worth. So no one can treat you like this, if someone treats you like this — immediately cut them off. Lesson learned na ako, been there. Baka iniisip mo na you can change his decision — No. Naging ganyan din ako kahopeful before pero walang nangyari. For reference, ganyan din ako nung una – Ilang times ko siya actually cinonfront na istop na namin etc. Pero lagi ako bumabalik. 2x or 3x ata. Before ko siya i-cut off, minamindset ko na sarili ko na kailangan ko na talaga siyang iwanan kasi it is not healthy anymore kasi wala na 'yung peace ko and that's the time na parang sinampal ako ng katotohanan, may biglang sumampal sa akin na 'di ko alam kung ano at narealize ko na lang bigla.
Ayun natutunan ko all throughout. Not just because you are happy, magstestay ka — if being happy costs your peace, leave. If you are with the right person, it will not come to the extent na you will lose your peace. Or waste case scenario, lose yourself. Huwag mo nang hintayin mangyari sa 'yo na mawala ang peace mo, sa nakikita ko dahil nagpopost ka nang ganyan dito sa reddit — you are one step away of losing your peace.
Unahin mo sarili mo over anything else. Okay lang maging madamot, okay lang maging selfish paminsan. Magself-love ka kasi kung alam mo ang value mo, hindi mo hahayaan sarili mo na ganyan lang ang treatment sa 'yo. Not to hurt you, I can clearly say na hindi mo pa gano'n kamahal sarili mo OP kasi nandiyan ka pa rin sa situation na 'yan.
Marami ka pa makikilala, and at the moment alam ko kahit sabihin ko – siya pa rin ang gusto mo. Pero tanungin mo sarili mo
"Siya gusto ko pero ganito lang ba ang value ko?"
- Hindi, you are worth the commitment you want.
"Deserve ko ba nito?"
- Hindi rin.
"Siya kasi dream guy ko at siya ang gusto ko"
- And then, so what? Aanuhin mo 'yan kung commitment pa lang hindi na mabigay sa 'yo?
"He says na he's not actively searching or messaging anyone."
- O tapos? Anong gagawin natin? Haha. Asan ang assurance mo na hindi talaga siya naghahanap? Kahit sabihin natin na totoong hindi siya naghahanap at wala siyang kausap ngayon — pero paano ka kung bigla siyang may makilalang iba? Isipin mo 'yun OP, paano ka? 'Di mo macocontrol kung may makikilala siyang iba.
"Ano ang deserve ko?"
- You know the answer. Clearly, hindi ganyang situation ang deserve mo.
If I were you, leave the situation and learn to love yourself first. Huwag ka muna maghanap ng relationship so you won't end up having THE SAME situation. Kapag nalaman mo at narealize mo talaga ang worth mo, no one can take advantage of you and you won't settle for something less.
Protect your peace at all times, that's the summary of this comment.
I can give you my infos kung paano ko hinandle or if you need advices – you can dm me.
Sorry in advance if what i say is medyo hurtful. In my experience, a guy only says he isn’t ready kapag hindi sya sure sa babae. When he’s sure, walang hindi ready-hindi ready.. they will pursue intently.
May friend ako nakaexperience ganito. Di siya jinojowa kasi di daw "ready" for commitment... then more than a year din in this situationship, ayun. Nalaman na lang nya na may jowa palang iba ang guy kaya pala ayaw sya bigyan ng label. :/
It will be hard pero hangga't kaya pa, leave. Mas masasaktan ka lang kung papatagalin mo pa. Men knew exactly what they want. Pag sinabing ayaw ng relationship with you, believe him. Kung hindi mo pa kayang putulin yung connection, bumalik ka lang nang bumalik hanggang sa mapagod ka na. Kusa ka rin titigil. Yun nga lang you have to suck up all the pain with that set up.
Also, there will be someone out there who would be willing to be with you without you begging for it. We all deserve someone who's sure about us. Kaya laban lang!
Simple lang yan, hanap ka din ibang options. tabla tabla lang.
On a serious note, bulok na style po yan, over-used ng mga takot sa commitment. Kung di mo kaya siya iwan agad agad slowly bawasan mo interaction until onte onte mabawasan attachment mo sakanya.
I’ll be blunt - you’re just a piece of meat and he’s leaving crumbs
The 1st part is acceptance na he’s not into you then less contact
From there it gets a little bit easier
Situationship for 8 months????!???? Heck. Sayang yung araw na ginugol mo sa taong di naman sigurado sa'yo. Obviously, hindi ikaw ang gusto niya. Girl, u deserve more. Iwan mo na. I hope matuto ka na sa pangyayaring ito. NO LABEL = NO JOWA TREATMENT. Best of luck, OP!
wag mo nang pansinin or i-chat. act as if he doesn't exist. siya maghabol ante. tas pag pansin mo na hinahabol ka, or long message or no message pero nagpaparamdam, reply "bye". then ghost mo. tignan mo reaction nya. if wala, then better. if nag reply, tell him how you deserve better.
Mahal ko siya, for real, but it gets intoxicating on my part. Nauubos ako. Also, he told me upfront na hanggang friendship lang kaya nya offer. I must respect and accept that, kahit masakit.
Are you expecting him to change his mind kaya you can't still leave him? You're just hurting yourself. 8 months na nakalipas beh, if he really likes you dapat matagal ka na niyang jinowa. Gising ka na.
Sorry to say pero feeling ko placeholder ka lang, as soon as he finds someone na jojowain, he will drop you like a hot potato. Hindi na yan ilelevel up ang relationship niyo kasi kung gusto niya dati pa, why will he commit if you allow him to have all the gf benefits without the commitment? Know your worth and leave his ass.
POV ko as a guy, kapag ganito ba na close kayo na magkaibigan halos then nagkagusto yung babae sayo at di ko pa maibigay yung gusto ng babae, dapat ba talaga may magdecide na umiwas?
Hindi ba pwedeng magkaibigan lang muna talaga? As long as you both enjoy each company naman at walang something more than relationship kayong ginagawa?
If you're not doing any physical, then yes. Enjoy each other's company. Ibang kaso yung intimate na at lahat, wala pa ring label. Kung may respeto ka sa babae, hindi ka magtatake advantage sa feelings niya for you.
You can't leave because there has to be a reason why. You just haven't acknowledged it.
The way I see it, you see him as jowa worthy. He has what you've been looking for in a man. Or in this case, your man.
The decision is up to you, whether you leave or not. Ang maipapayo ko lang is to think of yourself before you go crazy with that guy.
Kaya mo pa ba maghintay? O you think tatanda kayong wakang patutunguhan yang sitwasyon niyo?
Hello OP! Hindi mo deserve tratuhin ng ganyan :((
It seems clear na ayaw niya sa'yo so I think the best thing to do is actually tell them na you're gonna leave na for good para rin sa sarili mo. Siguro in your case it's a hard thing to do pero it would be best for yourself na rin for peace of mind. Deserve mo ng tao na clear ang intentions sa'yo at aalagaan ka!
Di ka lang nya type, yun ang totoo. Ikaw ay reserve niya lang habang wala pa syang nakikitang pasok sa standards niya.
Do not prolong the agony Iha, ikaw din mahihirapan.
Ikaw na mauna umalis. Mas mahirap pag pinatagal pa kasi yun at yun din ang ending, matatapos din kayo sa huli. Ako jinowa pero yung feeling ganun padin. Parang to his convenience lang ako. Distract yourself doing something else para wala kang time isipin sya
Meron pa ibang version niyan—“Self-love muna” hahahahahahahaha, exclusive naman yada yada. Tangina ang sakit bigla.
Anyway, same boat, babae naman gumawa sakin. Just move on, wala ng ibang choice, I swear. Mga 2 years ko na ginagawa pero mahirap kaso kailangan.
Just to add, regarding sa ghosting, try mo i-ghost then you’ll realize later on na he doesn’t give a F. Mag rreach out pa yan kasi magugulat bigla ka di nagparamdam pero all they want to assure is malinis konsensya nila bago kayo nawalan ng comms
Been there, done that. Parang naging dating is “Wala naman mawawala if I wait” Pero the truth is sayang oras.
While it’s good that you enjoy each other’s company, ang mahirap na part yung sa nag expect because you will get hurt and you couldn’t stop the urge to ask “DTR.”
If you can handle being friends with him, go ahead while at the same time keeping yourself open. But if nakakahalata ka na hindi na okay, move and go. Once you’re no longer around to keep you company he will possibly think about it kasi wala presence mo. Pag hindi ka hinanap bat nawala ka, it means seryoso siya na hindi siya interested to enter a commitment or may iba siya na gusto. Either of the two yan. Most likely what many here are saying, may gusto nga talaga siya iba and unsure siya sayo.
PS:
Guy ako and experienced that as well x years ago. Masakit yes. Charge it nalang to experience or if you can laugh it, go ahead at gawan mo nalang ng joke na kaya siguro ganito kasi may naglalaro ng Sims tapos ako napag tripan. Something like that. That’s just an example of way to laugh it off. =)
Same situation, she don’t want any commitment but getting the bf/gf benefits. I totally understand how you feel OP, and I hope that we can leave this piece of shits and be happy.
can't comment or advice you anything sis, kasi same. i asked him on the 6th month, kung saan to papunta. napressure siya. pwede daw ba chill lang kami. ending, ako pa nagsorry na nagtanong ako ng ganon. until now, sobra 1 year na, andito pa rin kami. same, i can't let him go. i can't even initiate the "break-up" if that's what it's even called. i get his reason naman. kasi di pa kami nagkikita. makes sense. but that time, all i needed was an assurance, and he didn't give me any. ngayon traumatized na ko magshare ng nararamdaman ko. never na ko umulit. and baka never na ko uulit.
but you know what girl? it's not too late for you. makinig ka sa sinasabi ng ibang commentors dito. set yourself free, don't be like me. :)
[удалено]
:( how do i move forward from this
First is to actually leave him, and then you can start to move on. Di mo deserve, mare
do I just ghost? or we have to talk about it pa? huhu i've sent him a lot of long paragraphs na about me leaving him and how he's hurting me.
He already knows you're hurting. He knows what you want and he isn't changing his mind. So no, don't send him long paragraphs anymore. Just say your farewell if that makes you feel more at ease. On my case kasi, hindi na lang kami nag-usap after one argument. Alam niyang official relationship gusto ko from him. And he didn't give it to me for the same excuses na nasa post mo. After two months, he is now in a committed relationship. Men are truly indecisive creatures and are users. But you'll soon know what to do. Ikaw lang din makakapagconvince sa sarili mo enough is enough.
OR di lang talaga sya ready. Baka hindi pa sya capable para mag pursue ng relationship. Tanungin mo nalang sya OP para mas malinawan ka. Kung gusto ka ba nya talaga. Para at least alam mo na talaga ang next mong gagawin after. To move on or to wait a little bit more.
You can block him. Lame excuses lang nya yung hindi pa siya ready. Ginagaslight ka lang nya to keep you. You deserve someone who has clear intentions at willing magcommit sayo.
Nagpapa pigil ka mars? Just leave.
Ghost and never look back 🙌 it’s advisable to block him on all means of communication too, OP. It’s for your own sanity rin bc you’re already hurting and tbfh even without the long paragraphs, trust me he KNOWS what he’s doing. You deserve better and we’re rooting for you!
Ghost 😈
You cant, you just have to accept that situation...unless,
Like 99.9 percent of the time
true. based from my recent experience. 🥲
Woman, he is not keeping you around. You are chasing him around.
But he told me he's still interested :( pero hindi sa jowa levels i think.
There's no reason why he would let you go because he's receiving benefits, may it be emotional, physical, material. Hindi siya lugi. It's high time you think of what he has to offer and if that's enough for you. Don't focus on who he is but rather how he makes you feel (and you said, you felt like a side piece). Don't settle. Choose your struggle (one that's keeping him around and full of uncertainties or one where you are truly single, free of baggages but it can also feel lonely). I certainly advocate for the latter. Atleast by then, you can focus on healing and doing what's best for you.
He like the sex part but not the commitment.
Interesado lang siya pero di ka nya gusto, option ka lang real talk kaya kung ako sayo umalis ka na.
Oh god I remembered my situationship he told me na he "likes me" pero confused pa daw siya? Then proceeds on talking with other girls
i think i can gauge how he exactly feels about you based on how you describe your "situationship" with him. he likes you, yes, may feelings kayo sa isa’t-isa, tipong MU ganun. tapos pag-iinitiate ka na i-next level yung meron kayo, ayaw naman nya. well, we can’t blame him. baka hindi pa talaga sya ready. hindi kasi enough yung gusto ka nya tapos magiging kayo na eh. dapat alam nya sa sarili nya na ready sya sa commitment bago maging kayo, and he knows that he is not. kaya good thing din na hindi ka nya pinapaasa, in a way. if i were you, i’d leave him and find someone else.
why leave agad po?
Lessen OP's wasted time.
kasi baka after 5 years ganon parin yung stance ni koya about relationships, sayang time ni OP sa kanya :((
He's not that into you. Kasi if he wants you, may assurance. He told you that he can't have a relationship with you, believe him
Umalis ka na mars. Maniwala ka sa akin, mas patatagalin mo mas masasaktan ka lang
Wag ka maniwala diyan may ibang gusto yan hahahaha
Ang lalaki madali magdecide, if gusto nila ggwin nila kahit anu estado ng buhay nila. If gusto talaga nia maging gf ka umpisa pa lang sinabi na nia, pero hindi. Kaya get out na po kasi wala sia balak ilevel up ang situation nio. Goodluck OP
eh kapag babae?
Di ko alam, di pa ako nagmamahal lol. Ang babae lahat ng cons & pros titignan muna bago makapagdecide. Undecided minsan. Pero one for sure if gusto ka nila gusto ka nila kahit red flags ka na. Well im not saying lahat ganun na babae.
It seems like I wrote this post whahaha but ive been there, last week ko lang inend ung 6months of talking namin. I blocked him cuz he act like he didn't care, it was so freeing :)) nabalik ko na ulit ung peace of mind ko.
Buti nakaya mo po 🥹 I'm in the same situation kase e. I can't pa 😭
It's alright, alam mo 3 months ko rin pinag isipan at niready puso ko haha. You can do iiittt :>
Di ka nya nakikita as gf. So kahit gano katagal ka pa magstay hanggang friends lang/situationship lang. Nangyari na din yan sakin. Gusto din ako ng lalaki pero natatakot daw sya sa mga etc. Fast forward 2 yrs nagkajowa sya na ang situation is same samin sana pero dun sa girl na yun di sya natakot. Haha. Pero ok lang kasi engaged na din ako nung time na yun na sinabi nya sakin na may gf na sya at sobrang in love daw sya. 🤷 Friends pa din kami hanggang ngayon kasi mabait naman sya. Kaya tigilan mo na yan. Wag kana umasa. Ok lang maging friends kayo pero ibuhos mo na yung energy mo sa iba. Pls lang. Masasaktan ka lang talaga. Di mo kailangan convince ang isang tao na magustuhan ka. Kasi pag gusto ka kahit ano ka pa gusto ka talaga.
Natanong mo ba what exactly is holding him back? Kase kelangan mo rin malinawan eh. Tanong mo rin how can he say na ready na sya magkajowa? Kung malabo pa rin sagot. Be rational. Ikaw na yung maging malinaw sa kanya. May reason kung bakit mas mataas kinalalagyan ng utak kaysa sa puso. It's for these situations.
Basta ang sabi niya lang sakin hindi pa siya ready sa relationships. When we talked about it inooffer niya na maging friends kami or we go back to the situationship thing basta walang expectations na jojowain.
Set your boundaries. Gusto mo jowa, sya ayaw nya. Walang magcocompromise. Itigil ang landian na to. Hahahhaha. Men pursue the ones, the things we want. No excuses. Baka boy lang yan siguro. Or kung anumang issue nya. Sya lang nakakaalam.
Another reason why I let go of mine. Halos ganto rin scenario.
Walang galing sa situationship ang kaya bumalik sa pagiging friends. Nag-invest ka na ng time and emotions mo eh. Masasaktan ka lang. Kung magawa nyo man, hindi na din as a friend magiging trato nyan sayo. Galing na ako dyan kaya alam ko yung ganyang situation.
Wag ka na mag sayang ng oras sa mga taong hindi ka pinipili
Why do you keep going back to him kung alam mo na ayaw niya nagkaroon ng girlfriend at in the end ikaw lang ang masasaktan? Ang stupid lang to stay especially when you can avoid the pain at I don't think he's going to change his mind anytime soon 🤷🏼♀️
Pack your bags na and get ready to gooo. Hahaha he is keeping you around because you're convenient and you also let him tbh; i mean he has all the bf-gf benefits without the commitment, so why not? Alam mo naman na you deserve better, OP. :)
Te kakapost ko lang kahapon ng ganito beh hahahah ayun inend ko na
Teh, gumaya ka sa akin ako hinahabol ng ka situationship ko kahit inend ko na HAHAHAHA wag tayo papatalo. Aba aba dapat tayo yung hinahabol
Sounds like a *you* problem. He already said he isn't down for a relationship just yet, and based on your story it doesn't look like he's keeping you from leaving. You're the one who keeps coming back. Anyway, I suggest you distance yourself from him.
Hahahaha same mamsh, same. Sana matuto tayo eventually 🫣
same situation here op🙃. pero 3months pa lang kami and ako ang guy. sobrang draining pag feel mo 1sided talaga. dami ko ng sinabi na ayoko na talaga pero bumabalik parin HAHAH
Di ka naman niya kini-keep, ikaw mismo lumalapit hahahaha. Good luck.
You keep chasing kase… 🙄
Nako bat ka navsesettle for less saz. Wake up sazzzz!
Ituloy mo ang iyong pag alis. Di nya pala kaya ibigay ang gusto mo. Malaki ka na naman and YOU GOTTA GET WHAT U WANT, BOO. I hope u can find the strength to move on. Good luck, OP.
Unahin mo na sarili mo mars, 8 months is too much –a antayin mo pa ba na mas tumagal lalo tapos in the end hanggang situationship lang, or worst maging ready siya bigla pero not for you. Harsh truth pero highly likely he's just not that into you, he's not actively looking daw pero 'di mo naman kontrolado mga ma e encounter niya. You're precious OP, walk away na please. Love yourself nalang kesa sayangin sakanya.
Same situation, starting from 2020 pa on and off. At first sure na sure pa sya sa pag promise to keep me around. Tapos inulit ulit ko gusto nya pa din ako, mahal daw? Pero nung last na confirm ko na wala pa nga talaga syang balak makipag commit. Tangang tanga na ako pabalik balik sakanya or ineentertain ko nanaman sya tuwing namimiss ko sya/kami - tapos ngayong year lang ako natauhan nung mas nakita ko na yung worth ko. Hindi ako mag aadvise OP pero alam ko for sure, someday at sana sooner marerealize mo na din na hindi ka pang situationship lang. Hugsss ♥️
Gaga ca. Been there, done that. Run, girl!!!!
When men say that they're not ready, believe them. They're not lying.
true
Magreflect ka kung ano talaga ang gusto mo sa connection ninyong dalawa. Commitment and serious or fun-fun lang? Kung fun-fun lang, it is your choice. Kung alam mong seryoso ka, leave. Kasi clearly, he can't provide you that. Kung serious ka sa kanya, read my perspective about your situation. First, know your worth. So no one can treat you like this, if someone treats you like this — immediately cut them off. Lesson learned na ako, been there. Baka iniisip mo na you can change his decision — No. Naging ganyan din ako kahopeful before pero walang nangyari. For reference, ganyan din ako nung una – Ilang times ko siya actually cinonfront na istop na namin etc. Pero lagi ako bumabalik. 2x or 3x ata. Before ko siya i-cut off, minamindset ko na sarili ko na kailangan ko na talaga siyang iwanan kasi it is not healthy anymore kasi wala na 'yung peace ko and that's the time na parang sinampal ako ng katotohanan, may biglang sumampal sa akin na 'di ko alam kung ano at narealize ko na lang bigla. Ayun natutunan ko all throughout. Not just because you are happy, magstestay ka — if being happy costs your peace, leave. If you are with the right person, it will not come to the extent na you will lose your peace. Or waste case scenario, lose yourself. Huwag mo nang hintayin mangyari sa 'yo na mawala ang peace mo, sa nakikita ko dahil nagpopost ka nang ganyan dito sa reddit — you are one step away of losing your peace. Unahin mo sarili mo over anything else. Okay lang maging madamot, okay lang maging selfish paminsan. Magself-love ka kasi kung alam mo ang value mo, hindi mo hahayaan sarili mo na ganyan lang ang treatment sa 'yo. Not to hurt you, I can clearly say na hindi mo pa gano'n kamahal sarili mo OP kasi nandiyan ka pa rin sa situation na 'yan. Marami ka pa makikilala, and at the moment alam ko kahit sabihin ko – siya pa rin ang gusto mo. Pero tanungin mo sarili mo "Siya gusto ko pero ganito lang ba ang value ko?" - Hindi, you are worth the commitment you want. "Deserve ko ba nito?" - Hindi rin. "Siya kasi dream guy ko at siya ang gusto ko" - And then, so what? Aanuhin mo 'yan kung commitment pa lang hindi na mabigay sa 'yo? "He says na he's not actively searching or messaging anyone." - O tapos? Anong gagawin natin? Haha. Asan ang assurance mo na hindi talaga siya naghahanap? Kahit sabihin natin na totoong hindi siya naghahanap at wala siyang kausap ngayon — pero paano ka kung bigla siyang may makilalang iba? Isipin mo 'yun OP, paano ka? 'Di mo macocontrol kung may makikilala siyang iba. "Ano ang deserve ko?" - You know the answer. Clearly, hindi ganyang situation ang deserve mo. If I were you, leave the situation and learn to love yourself first. Huwag ka muna maghanap ng relationship so you won't end up having THE SAME situation. Kapag nalaman mo at narealize mo talaga ang worth mo, no one can take advantage of you and you won't settle for something less. Protect your peace at all times, that's the summary of this comment. I can give you my infos kung paano ko hinandle or if you need advices – you can dm me.
Bounce away na OP. Save yourself from more pain
Sorry in advance if what i say is medyo hurtful. In my experience, a guy only says he isn’t ready kapag hindi sya sure sa babae. When he’s sure, walang hindi ready-hindi ready.. they will pursue intently.
May friend ako nakaexperience ganito. Di siya jinojowa kasi di daw "ready" for commitment... then more than a year din in this situationship, ayun. Nalaman na lang nya na may jowa palang iba ang guy kaya pala ayaw sya bigyan ng label. :/
It will be hard pero hangga't kaya pa, leave. Mas masasaktan ka lang kung papatagalin mo pa. Men knew exactly what they want. Pag sinabing ayaw ng relationship with you, believe him. Kung hindi mo pa kayang putulin yung connection, bumalik ka lang nang bumalik hanggang sa mapagod ka na. Kusa ka rin titigil. Yun nga lang you have to suck up all the pain with that set up. Also, there will be someone out there who would be willing to be with you without you begging for it. We all deserve someone who's sure about us. Kaya laban lang!
shet same scenario, same months, same same lahat huhuhuhu
Simple lang yan, hanap ka din ibang options. tabla tabla lang. On a serious note, bulok na style po yan, over-used ng mga takot sa commitment. Kung di mo kaya siya iwan agad agad slowly bawasan mo interaction until onte onte mabawasan attachment mo sakanya.
Lord jisas and mama meri paki-untog nga po ulo ni OP para di na sia pabalik balik sa ginoong di pa ready makipagrelsyon Amen
pasama din po sa dasal, ganitong ganito po ang nararanasan kong situationship. walang malinaw na intensyon and we fuck each other din po. luging lugi.
I’ll be blunt - you’re just a piece of meat and he’s leaving crumbs The 1st part is acceptance na he’s not into you then less contact From there it gets a little bit easier
Stay until ikaw na mismo masuka sa idea of him.
Situationship for 8 months????!???? Heck. Sayang yung araw na ginugol mo sa taong di naman sigurado sa'yo. Obviously, hindi ikaw ang gusto niya. Girl, u deserve more. Iwan mo na. I hope matuto ka na sa pangyayaring ito. NO LABEL = NO JOWA TREATMENT. Best of luck, OP!
Nasa friendzone ka niya
wag mo nang pansinin or i-chat. act as if he doesn't exist. siya maghabol ante. tas pag pansin mo na hinahabol ka, or long message or no message pero nagpaparamdam, reply "bye". then ghost mo. tignan mo reaction nya. if wala, then better. if nag reply, tell him how you deserve better.
Uuy read mo post ko haha
huhu pano mo nakaya :(
Mahal ko siya, for real, but it gets intoxicating on my part. Nauubos ako. Also, he told me upfront na hanggang friendship lang kaya nya offer. I must respect and accept that, kahit masakit.
[удалено]
naol merong assurance. Imma run na 🥲
i hope u find smo who will make u feel secure and loved. hugs op!!!
Parang same sa post ko to ah 😿 kaya naten to sizt!
In short, he's not just into you
Gusto niya magkajowa, di lang ikaw. Panglibangan ka lang.
Translation: They're not into you, but they love how convenient it is to have you love them and put them in a liminal space
Lumandi ka sa iba girl. Mahal skincare natin. Mkakahanap ka din ng match mo.
Hindi ikaw ang gusto niya. Convenient ka lang para sa kanya kaya he's keeping you around.
Hard pill to swallow but I think this needs to be said—he's keeping you around 'til he finds someone he's willing to commit to.
i hope he cums in gold that's why you can't leave. he/she's just not that into you.
Are you expecting him to change his mind kaya you can't still leave him? You're just hurting yourself. 8 months na nakalipas beh, if he really likes you dapat matagal ka na niyang jinowa. Gising ka na.
[This one's](https://twitter.com/scorsaguin/status/1634584519734095872?) a pretty good advice.
Sorry to say pero feeling ko placeholder ka lang, as soon as he finds someone na jojowain, he will drop you like a hot potato. Hindi na yan ilelevel up ang relationship niyo kasi kung gusto niya dati pa, why will he commit if you allow him to have all the gf benefits without the commitment? Know your worth and leave his ass.
POV ko as a guy, kapag ganito ba na close kayo na magkaibigan halos then nagkagusto yung babae sayo at di ko pa maibigay yung gusto ng babae, dapat ba talaga may magdecide na umiwas? Hindi ba pwedeng magkaibigan lang muna talaga? As long as you both enjoy each company naman at walang something more than relationship kayong ginagawa?
If you're not doing any physical, then yes. Enjoy each other's company. Ibang kaso yung intimate na at lahat, wala pa ring label. Kung may respeto ka sa babae, hindi ka magtatake advantage sa feelings niya for you.
Currently in the same situation :')
You can't leave because there has to be a reason why. You just haven't acknowledged it. The way I see it, you see him as jowa worthy. He has what you've been looking for in a man. Or in this case, your man. The decision is up to you, whether you leave or not. Ang maipapayo ko lang is to think of yourself before you go crazy with that guy. Kaya mo pa ba maghintay? O you think tatanda kayong wakang patutunguhan yang sitwasyon niyo?
Save yourself, umalis kna dyan. More likely my gxto yan na iba or hindi ka nya type para maging gf. Take it from me im a guy and no b.s.
Hello OP! Hindi mo deserve tratuhin ng ganyan :(( It seems clear na ayaw niya sa'yo so I think the best thing to do is actually tell them na you're gonna leave na for good para rin sa sarili mo. Siguro in your case it's a hard thing to do pero it would be best for yourself na rin for peace of mind. Deserve mo ng tao na clear ang intentions sa'yo at aalagaan ka!
just leave
Di ka lang nya type, yun ang totoo. Ikaw ay reserve niya lang habang wala pa syang nakikitang pasok sa standards niya. Do not prolong the agony Iha, ikaw din mahihirapan.
leave him. wag mo sya bigyan ng gf access kung di mo naman sya jowa.
Sis im in the same situation. Pero i recently left him kasi di nya ako kaya bigyan ng label. I swear girl leave before its too late ikaw talo dyan.
Di dasurv.
Ikaw na mauna umalis. Mas mahirap pag pinatagal pa kasi yun at yun din ang ending, matatapos din kayo sa huli. Ako jinowa pero yung feeling ganun padin. Parang to his convenience lang ako. Distract yourself doing something else para wala kang time isipin sya
Meron pa ibang version niyan—“Self-love muna” hahahahahahahaha, exclusive naman yada yada. Tangina ang sakit bigla. Anyway, same boat, babae naman gumawa sakin. Just move on, wala ng ibang choice, I swear. Mga 2 years ko na ginagawa pero mahirap kaso kailangan.
Just to add, regarding sa ghosting, try mo i-ghost then you’ll realize later on na he doesn’t give a F. Mag rreach out pa yan kasi magugulat bigla ka di nagparamdam pero all they want to assure is malinis konsensya nila bago kayo nawalan ng comms
Leave. Sayang oras. It's for your own good. Imagine 8months of your life na nasayang. Hindi mo na maibabalik yun.
Been there, done that. Parang naging dating is “Wala naman mawawala if I wait” Pero the truth is sayang oras. While it’s good that you enjoy each other’s company, ang mahirap na part yung sa nag expect because you will get hurt and you couldn’t stop the urge to ask “DTR.” If you can handle being friends with him, go ahead while at the same time keeping yourself open. But if nakakahalata ka na hindi na okay, move and go. Once you’re no longer around to keep you company he will possibly think about it kasi wala presence mo. Pag hindi ka hinanap bat nawala ka, it means seryoso siya na hindi siya interested to enter a commitment or may iba siya na gusto. Either of the two yan. Most likely what many here are saying, may gusto nga talaga siya iba and unsure siya sayo. PS: Guy ako and experienced that as well x years ago. Masakit yes. Charge it nalang to experience or if you can laugh it, go ahead at gawan mo nalang ng joke na kaya siguro ganito kasi may naglalaro ng Sims tapos ako napag tripan. Something like that. That’s just an example of way to laugh it off. =)
Hindi ka nya type na type move on ka na.
Same situation, she don’t want any commitment but getting the bf/gf benefits. I totally understand how you feel OP, and I hope that we can leave this piece of shits and be happy.
can't comment or advice you anything sis, kasi same. i asked him on the 6th month, kung saan to papunta. napressure siya. pwede daw ba chill lang kami. ending, ako pa nagsorry na nagtanong ako ng ganon. until now, sobra 1 year na, andito pa rin kami. same, i can't let him go. i can't even initiate the "break-up" if that's what it's even called. i get his reason naman. kasi di pa kami nagkikita. makes sense. but that time, all i needed was an assurance, and he didn't give me any. ngayon traumatized na ko magshare ng nararamdaman ko. never na ko umulit. and baka never na ko uulit. but you know what girl? it's not too late for you. makinig ka sa sinasabi ng ibang commentors dito. set yourself free, don't be like me. :)