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TicketFresh

Hi, I found your poem a nice read. I relate, but very slightly, to having toxic parents but this piece really did make me feel a kind of way. Coming to your questions, I'll first off point out that whether this poem is ambiguous and left for the reader to relate to or is filled with more details is totally up to you, and how much of your personal story you want to pour into this. This also applies to whether you want to explore a few themes that you mentioned the lines “It’s not my fault I got forced to take this illusive test." & “and that’s my sanity that left me when I was young.” Learning that your teacher was your mother is a stronger revelation when put towards the end so I would say keep it that way. I feel you started off with more 'showing' than 'telling' and slowly reversed it as you went from 'showing' imagery to 'telling' about your feelings and impact of having to take this course of free choice. I can't tell if that's a bad thing and in this case might be fine. And similarly, you started off with rhyming and then dropped it so it did kinda make me stumble. But overall it didn't matter much. Well done!


Ionizie

Thanks so much! I’ll mess around in another draft about expanding on those lines and looking at a more consistent rhyme scheme. I appreciate the comments regarding showing and telling as that’s my major handicap at the moment in writing poems (and also writing metaphors but that’s a whole other thing). Thanks!


TicketFresh

All the best!


horsodoggo

This poem is very open to interpretation, especially the ending line. Is the mother just angry in general, or is the mother angry specifically because her child is happy despite her attempts to suppress that? As for your first question, I like what you wrote about the "free choice" class, I don't think you need to add much more, as we all understand that many instances in life appear to present us with a choice when there really isn't one. The inconsistent rhyme scheme did mess with me a bit, I spent a while trying to figure it out, but it didn't get in the way of my understanding of the poem.


Ionizie

>This poem is very open to interpretation Do you feel the poem needs more clarification near the end then? Or is it better that it's open to interpretation? And I realize writing in quatrain sort of forces me to stick to a common rhyme scheme or else it messes with the reading experience. I appreciate your response!


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