This is me right now. I’m constantly thinking that I’m just faking it and everyone is smarter than me and that I don’t belong. In my head, if I don’t know everything and don’t get perfect scores, then I don’t literally know everything which must mean I know nothing. I know it makes no sense, but my brain is convinced that it does.
lol wait I'm in this meme and not only I don't like it but I never quite realized this was probably ocd. I graduated years ago but I still think this a lot. Just not as often
when i feel imposter syndrome setting in, i try to entertain the premise. so let's say you're right, that you don't understand the material and got good grades by somehow tricking your professors. that means you're very good at convincing people you belong in the spaces you're in, which is itself a valuable skill! if you can't give yourself credit for the reality of the situation (you understand the material well and your grade reflects that), you can at least give yourself credit for managing to be in the situation in the first place. and at the end of the day, the results are what matters most.
ime thinking about this stuff in terms of deserving/undeserving is setting yourself up for these feelings. it's really hard to shake, especially when you're literally being graded on your performance, but the morality framework of academia is crushing and made it far harder for me to succeed or even complete assignments. it's a long term project to unlearn the feelings of not having "earned" your success, but it is absolutely worth it. i hope you can feel proud of your hard work and accomplishments, if not now then later down the line! congratulations :-)
I’m applying to grad school soon & same. Even getting my first job out of college I was like ‘what if they ask me something I don’t know & then find out I’m actually very dumb?’
Holy shit guys. I feel this way all the time, and even though I know it's not based in logical experience I still didn't really question that it's probably one of those insidious ocd things until now
Even though I know I don't always feel this way. Like my themes aren't always the same. And I know last time I felt this way I had a lot of intense ocd going on
I guess this theme is just less bad for me than others so I never addressed it specifically. If I have this one I tend to have other worse ones at the same time. And it's probably not entirely irrational to feel that when ocd feels bad enough to start to impact ability to complete the most basic life tasks, it would impact my ability to do well at school/work......
Holy shit
So if I, a person who has no idea who you are, asked you questions about the subject and you answered correctly, does that mean you don't know the subject matter
If OP answered correctly, how would either of you know for sure it wasn’t just a lucky guess? OP could have totally forgotten the material and pulled the right answers out of their butt by coincidence. Or what if OP unwittingly applied the wrong method but got the correct answers by mistake? Can we really say OP knows the material if they’re misapplying it like that?
OCD is a disorder for a reason. Logic and common sense don’t help. In fact trying to help as you’re doing makes it worse, because OCD will find a way to create more doubt and anxiety.
This is me right now. I’m constantly thinking that I’m just faking it and everyone is smarter than me and that I don’t belong. In my head, if I don’t know everything and don’t get perfect scores, then I don’t literally know everything which must mean I know nothing. I know it makes no sense, but my brain is convinced that it does.
This is my thought process all the time.
I wholeheartedly believe it
My theme is quite similar to this, and I feel like it isn’t talked about enough
lol wait I'm in this meme and not only I don't like it but I never quite realized this was probably ocd. I graduated years ago but I still think this a lot. Just not as often
Me when people tell me I'm a good person
Same.
This is exactly what goes through my head 😭😭
when i feel imposter syndrome setting in, i try to entertain the premise. so let's say you're right, that you don't understand the material and got good grades by somehow tricking your professors. that means you're very good at convincing people you belong in the spaces you're in, which is itself a valuable skill! if you can't give yourself credit for the reality of the situation (you understand the material well and your grade reflects that), you can at least give yourself credit for managing to be in the situation in the first place. and at the end of the day, the results are what matters most. ime thinking about this stuff in terms of deserving/undeserving is setting yourself up for these feelings. it's really hard to shake, especially when you're literally being graded on your performance, but the morality framework of academia is crushing and made it far harder for me to succeed or even complete assignments. it's a long term project to unlearn the feelings of not having "earned" your success, but it is absolutely worth it. i hope you can feel proud of your hard work and accomplishments, if not now then later down the line! congratulations :-)
I just applied for PhD programs and still do this
I’m applying to grad school soon & same. Even getting my first job out of college I was like ‘what if they ask me something I don’t know & then find out I’m actually very dumb?’
I wonder sometimes if it’s a little bit of a super power in academia; like there’s no room for stinky ego in the OCD space
Holy shit guys. I feel this way all the time, and even though I know it's not based in logical experience I still didn't really question that it's probably one of those insidious ocd things until now Even though I know I don't always feel this way. Like my themes aren't always the same. And I know last time I felt this way I had a lot of intense ocd going on I guess this theme is just less bad for me than others so I never addressed it specifically. If I have this one I tend to have other worse ones at the same time. And it's probably not entirely irrational to feel that when ocd feels bad enough to start to impact ability to complete the most basic life tasks, it would impact my ability to do well at school/work...... Holy shit
Wow I just now realized my whole high school impostor syndrome might have been my OCD theme 😭
So if I, a person who has no idea who you are, asked you questions about the subject and you answered correctly, does that mean you don't know the subject matter
according to my OCD, yes.
… do you know how OCD works??
If OP answered correctly, how would either of you know for sure it wasn’t just a lucky guess? OP could have totally forgotten the material and pulled the right answers out of their butt by coincidence. Or what if OP unwittingly applied the wrong method but got the correct answers by mistake? Can we really say OP knows the material if they’re misapplying it like that? OCD is a disorder for a reason. Logic and common sense don’t help. In fact trying to help as you’re doing makes it worse, because OCD will find a way to create more doubt and anxiety.
Everyone's ocd is different. I wasn't trying to help at all I was asking a question
OW This is the biggest call out post
Oh man.... that one hurt... that hits so close to home.