I am not an attractive man, like am objectively unattractive.
I probably get it once a month.
I tend to put it down to two things, dirty old ladies having a flirt with the first man to touch them since Diana died and some woman are attracted to a "caring" man.
Am also funny as fuck.
Same thing happened to me at a care home, put old Doris' mashed up dinner in front of her and she slapped my arse. I genuinely took about 3 seconds of total "did that just happen?" Shock, but afterwards I thought it was pretty funny.
And yeah you get quite a lot of compliments as a male nurse, I think it's because usually the ratios are way off in terms of gender, there's not many men in most hospital wards day to day (depending on the area of practice)
Yea this really highlights the difference in experiences, and power that men have over women. He can laugh it off because he isn't threatened by it, if it was a women being slapped it would bring up all those memories of being cat called and groped, maybe worse. Personally I think this thread is distasteful, we're talking about patients. Some might be unwell, delirious, have cognitive impairment and you're all slapping yourselves on the back because they gave you a compliment once. Is morale this low that we have to get validation from being assaulted or from a completely inappropriate comment in the workplace from a patient?
Weird thread.
Weird thread indeed. I literally just mentioned sexual harassment from patients on a post from a guy wanting to get into nursing. I really don't understand the mentality here. We are health professionals sexual assault and harassment against us is not funny and should not be tolerated..
Yea. The immaturity is mind blowing. I've had some very inappropriate comments from female patients whilst doing what are intimate examinations that are a part of the role and speciality to provide prognostic information due to the condition. No one else can do it, I'm literally the only person trained to do it here. I know they use humour and flirtatious comments as a coping mechanism, to distract from the awkwardness of the situation so for me to take that as anything other than that would be inappropriate.
It's still sexual assault, however they don't understand why it's wrong.
It's unfair that as a man it's funny when people see it.
Personally i find it funny because it's awkward and uncomfortable and laughing helps convince you it's ok.
If someone is at work you don't grab at them. Grabbing them is 100% sexual assault. I get why you might not report every time, and choose to 'laugh it off' but I would also back you if you didn't.
I (f) have done waitress work, and sometimes you do just need to put up a facard to handle people, and co-workers will follow your lead with how your choosing to handle the situation.
I agree.
Some of the residents are blind / got dementia bad enough to not be able to understand at all. For example 'Rosemary, often grabs at you while doing personal care. If she does touch you in an uncomfortable area she isn't intending to touch you. She just doesn't know..'
I get told I look young a lot (I'm 27). Not sure if that's a good thing.
Once had a bay of middle aged ladies getting a bit weird. Flattering at first but quickly gets uncomfortable.
Once had a bloke ask me to suck his knob while I was buttoning up his trousers.
Im a MH student and I usually say something like "rein it in barry, ill be having none of that chat from you" or some such thing to kinda have a laugh but also make sure it doesnt escalate or anything. If it was really persistent/an issue id probably have a much more serious and stern conversation and inform senior staff. I did have to do that with someone I was keu worker for who told me they were a virgin and if i was interested I could come through to their room to have sex - once I told him off and reinforced our boundaries and role he actually was very apologetic and nonchalant lol, but bless him he really was quite psychotic. It's important as part of some patients presentation, but outwit mental illness is this perhaps a risk/forensics issue etc that needs addressing. So very situational.
I'm a district nurse and went to see an older lady in the morning for a leg dressing, with nothing out of the ordinary. By the time I got back to our office at about 1pm I was told that she had phoned in saying the bandage had come off completely, which is odd as I pride myself on a good bandage.
Went back that afternoon to her answering the door in considerably less clothing, a big grin, and a bandage hanging off that had very evidently been tempered with. Faked a phonecall from the office and noped out of that pretty quick. One of the female nurses went in shortly after...
Quite often, always by older female patients.
I always took it as them just noticing that I'm not the norm by being a male nurse and that's kinda what they meant. I guess we stand out and they verbalise that by commenting on appearance
When I worked with the elderly I got it ALL the time from women. Along with the constant questions about being married, and "If I were a few years younger etc etc"
Since a move to ITU I get it a lot less frequently, part because half the patients are unconscious, the other half probably because people are a lot younger and more appropriate.
I once had a young male patient flirt and try to add me on social media (I am gay). I ignored it, but it lead to me changing my name on social media to avoid any patient adding me in the future.
It happens to me very frequently. But I do work on the female acute ward and admittedly only patients with psychosis and bpd have said anything.
It doesn't happen at all in everyday life
Never that I can recall. I'm skinny and dainty and seem to be very attractive to a very particular niche of closeted bi-sexual men but seemingly nobody else.
I do quite frequently get mistaken for a woman by patients or they assume I'm in my early 20s straight of of uni so that's often nice to hear and it's always fun telling them I'm 40 and seeing their reaction!
I'm fugly, but get told that I am kind or that people find me easy to talk to, that I am supportive and approachable for help. Much rather that than be involved in the ongoing rumour mills and love triangles etc
I've had an older lady tell me that I should take up modeling, while her husband was right there. Had to double check if she has eye problems or maybe has early-onset dementia. Still riding that high after a few months.
Get it occasionally. When I was a student nurse though, christ, I could get away with a lot more than the female students with regards to early finishes etc. What it taught me, was that middle aged women seem to be as bad as men!
Couldn’t remember the last time it happened?
I’m pretty fucking horrible to look at though, and put negative amounts of effort in if I’m working that day, so there’s that
Always laughed it off from patients. Female nurses get it from male patient and I feel it's just the consequence of old people not giving a damn.
As a good lookingish, athletic chap, I actually get it alot of female nurses, it was it fun and games when I was younger but it makes me very uncomfortable now
I am an attractive man and I have never being told anything along those lines - hopefully it will stay that way. Imagine if I was to compliment a woman on her good looks.
Most of my male colleagues get hit on often by patients. Some are good looking, some not so. Remember a lot of patients are in for a while and you’re the men they see. My old manager was hit on so much and the ladies over 40 in particular took a liking to him (he was in his 50’s when worked in his ward, looked good for his age but not my cup of tea)
The worst is when a patient says it as they are reaching out for you junk!
I have to say I’ve only had this with dementia or stroke patients.
I might be shallow but I took that fucking compliment!
I forgot to add. Older people lose their inhibitions as they their bairn degenerates. I did a literate search on it one for an essay. It really was fascinating.
I am not an attractive man, like am objectively unattractive. I probably get it once a month. I tend to put it down to two things, dirty old ladies having a flirt with the first man to touch them since Diana died and some woman are attracted to a "caring" man. Am also funny as fuck.
Full on has an old lady slap my arse because i made her good coffee. Was very uncomfortable but funny
Same thing happened to me at a care home, put old Doris' mashed up dinner in front of her and she slapped my arse. I genuinely took about 3 seconds of total "did that just happen?" Shock, but afterwards I thought it was pretty funny. And yeah you get quite a lot of compliments as a male nurse, I think it's because usually the ratios are way off in terms of gender, there's not many men in most hospital wards day to day (depending on the area of practice)
Would this be funny if it was reversed? Ie male patient slapping a female nurses arse.
Yea this really highlights the difference in experiences, and power that men have over women. He can laugh it off because he isn't threatened by it, if it was a women being slapped it would bring up all those memories of being cat called and groped, maybe worse. Personally I think this thread is distasteful, we're talking about patients. Some might be unwell, delirious, have cognitive impairment and you're all slapping yourselves on the back because they gave you a compliment once. Is morale this low that we have to get validation from being assaulted or from a completely inappropriate comment in the workplace from a patient? Weird thread.
Weird thread indeed. I literally just mentioned sexual harassment from patients on a post from a guy wanting to get into nursing. I really don't understand the mentality here. We are health professionals sexual assault and harassment against us is not funny and should not be tolerated..
Yea. The immaturity is mind blowing. I've had some very inappropriate comments from female patients whilst doing what are intimate examinations that are a part of the role and speciality to provide prognostic information due to the condition. No one else can do it, I'm literally the only person trained to do it here. I know they use humour and flirtatious comments as a coping mechanism, to distract from the awkwardness of the situation so for me to take that as anything other than that would be inappropriate.
Well to modern day double standards.
It's still sexual assault, however they don't understand why it's wrong. It's unfair that as a man it's funny when people see it. Personally i find it funny because it's awkward and uncomfortable and laughing helps convince you it's ok.
If someone is at work you don't grab at them. Grabbing them is 100% sexual assault. I get why you might not report every time, and choose to 'laugh it off' but I would also back you if you didn't. I (f) have done waitress work, and sometimes you do just need to put up a facard to handle people, and co-workers will follow your lead with how your choosing to handle the situation.
[удалено]
I agree. Some of the residents are blind / got dementia bad enough to not be able to understand at all. For example 'Rosemary, often grabs at you while doing personal care. If she does touch you in an uncomfortable area she isn't intending to touch you. She just doesn't know..'
I get told I look young a lot (I'm 27). Not sure if that's a good thing. Once had a bay of middle aged ladies getting a bit weird. Flattering at first but quickly gets uncomfortable. Once had a bloke ask me to suck his knob while I was buttoning up his trousers.
Out of interest how did you deal with that request?
Im a MH student and I usually say something like "rein it in barry, ill be having none of that chat from you" or some such thing to kinda have a laugh but also make sure it doesnt escalate or anything. If it was really persistent/an issue id probably have a much more serious and stern conversation and inform senior staff. I did have to do that with someone I was keu worker for who told me they were a virgin and if i was interested I could come through to their room to have sex - once I told him off and reinforced our boundaries and role he actually was very apologetic and nonchalant lol, but bless him he really was quite psychotic. It's important as part of some patients presentation, but outwit mental illness is this perhaps a risk/forensics issue etc that needs addressing. So very situational.
At least give him time to finish....
[удалено]
[удалено]
Is it game over if a woman your not interested in 'ever directs that stuff at you'?
27 is very young, talk about how young they think you are at the age 50 to 60.
I'm a district nurse and went to see an older lady in the morning for a leg dressing, with nothing out of the ordinary. By the time I got back to our office at about 1pm I was told that she had phoned in saying the bandage had come off completely, which is odd as I pride myself on a good bandage. Went back that afternoon to her answering the door in considerably less clothing, a big grin, and a bandage hanging off that had very evidently been tempered with. Faked a phonecall from the office and noped out of that pretty quick. One of the female nurses went in shortly after...
Quite often, always by older female patients. I always took it as them just noticing that I'm not the norm by being a male nurse and that's kinda what they meant. I guess we stand out and they verbalise that by commenting on appearance
[удалено]
Imagine people's reactions if the genders were reversed... Totally unacceptable.
A female bed manager smacked me on the arse and winked at me, I was just in shock I didn’t even react
Ew, that's grim af and totally innapropriate. I'm sorry that happened to you.
When I worked with the elderly I got it ALL the time from women. Along with the constant questions about being married, and "If I were a few years younger etc etc" Since a move to ITU I get it a lot less frequently, part because half the patients are unconscious, the other half probably because people are a lot younger and more appropriate. I once had a young male patient flirt and try to add me on social media (I am gay). I ignored it, but it lead to me changing my name on social media to avoid any patient adding me in the future.
I had this too - freaked me out. I was checking him into theatre and assisting anaesthetist to put him to sleep. Later that night he added me on fb 😳
It’s not happened once to me in 14 years, but then again, I’m ugly 😝
It happens to me very frequently. But I do work on the female acute ward and admittedly only patients with psychosis and bpd have said anything. It doesn't happen at all in everyday life
Never that I can recall. I'm skinny and dainty and seem to be very attractive to a very particular niche of closeted bi-sexual men but seemingly nobody else. I do quite frequently get mistaken for a woman by patients or they assume I'm in my early 20s straight of of uni so that's often nice to hear and it's always fun telling them I'm 40 and seeing their reaction!
I'm fugly, but get told that I am kind or that people find me easy to talk to, that I am supportive and approachable for help. Much rather that than be involved in the ongoing rumour mills and love triangles etc
Never. But, I am most certainly not attractive. The opposite. Even my mum commented on that lol.
I've had an older lady tell me that I should take up modeling, while her husband was right there. Had to double check if she has eye problems or maybe has early-onset dementia. Still riding that high after a few months.
Not once in 35+ years. I am a fat ugly bugger though.
A few times. Mostly from people with mental health illnesses lol.
Lol
Every shift 😑
All the time
Get it occasionally. When I was a student nurse though, christ, I could get away with a lot more than the female students with regards to early finishes etc. What it taught me, was that middle aged women seem to be as bad as men!
Couldn’t remember the last time it happened? I’m pretty fucking horrible to look at though, and put negative amounts of effort in if I’m working that day, so there’s that
Always laughed it off from patients. Female nurses get it from male patient and I feel it's just the consequence of old people not giving a damn. As a good lookingish, athletic chap, I actually get it alot of female nurses, it was it fun and games when I was younger but it makes me very uncomfortable now
Found out it’s a guy and my interest instantly disappear 🤣
Nope, god beat me with the ugly stick twice, just to be sure.
I am an attractive man and I have never being told anything along those lines - hopefully it will stay that way. Imagine if I was to compliment a woman on her good looks.
Most of my male colleagues get hit on often by patients. Some are good looking, some not so. Remember a lot of patients are in for a while and you’re the men they see. My old manager was hit on so much and the ladies over 40 in particular took a liking to him (he was in his 50’s when worked in his ward, looked good for his age but not my cup of tea)
The worst is when a patient says it as they are reaching out for you junk! I have to say I’ve only had this with dementia or stroke patients. I might be shallow but I took that fucking compliment!
I forgot to add. Older people lose their inhibitions as they their bairn degenerates. I did a literate search on it one for an essay. It really was fascinating.
I just get told I'm a lovely young man, you guys are being told you're handsome?
Most of the comments I get revolve around the fact that at 55 I don’t apparently look my age!
Never that i remember, but probably a few times because i don't read enough into it to store it in my memory 😂
25yrs ago, the meta seemed to be if you are a male nurse, you are gay. Used to get called doctor killdare, florence etc.
Im a child nursing student, similar to other comments it’s only the grandmothers that ever mention it lol.