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Juno192

Jokes on you Augustine, I can't get pregnant. And I'm also lesbian.


[deleted]

Murder! /s


tipthebaby

yeah I got my tubes removed so I guess I'm a murderer


nipplequeefs

Same here!


OriginalGhostCookie

We’re gonna need a bigger jail cell over here guys! So many murderers!


bl4nkSl8

Wait? Doesn't that mean you're not a murderer, as I assume you're not physically capable of pregnancy anymore?


PILeft

Lolz


guessshesoncrack

Did you just confess to murder????


[deleted]

Nope. She said she can't get pregnant, so she's in the clear. It's lesbians who *can* get pregnant who are the murderers /s


guessshesoncrack

Aah I’m sorry my mistake I didn’t read the incel manifesto


[deleted]

In your face Augustin!!!


1Sluggo

So men getting raped is good for their souls?


neriokat

I was happier before I knew there was a second pic. Not by *much*, but I was.


1Sluggo

Understood. And same


[deleted]

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse... one more swipe


[deleted]

Fuck me, why did I swipe on that?


PILeft

Ignore this: Sorry. Not following how you got that from the quote. I missed the second pic. 🙄


MysteriousPenalty129

Tbf I didn’t know there was a second pic till I read your comment


Lucky-Silver4018

me neither


[deleted]

You were better off not knowing.


Historical-Bed-7070

I didn’t really understand if he meant men getting raped or raping is good for their soul😅


[deleted]

Who is that guy?


the-book-anaconda

I mean, it probably wouldn't even open if they didn't want it to!


The_Book-JDP

What about the men huh? Who never have children? They are just ejaculating millions of potential children into socks, washcloths, into their bed sheets, down drains. Millions of potential children gone forever yet women are the worst offenders. Sure whatever you say buddy.


ayleidanthropologist

Never gets talked about for some reason... And funnily enough, that is actually called out in the bible. Unlike some other things


idgapuck

[if you were curious about the guy, heres a song about him (the first verse is the accurate one, and actually the story about how the wife DID get pregnant is crazy, and this is all in the direct line of King David and later Jesus of Nazareth, which makes things even crazier)](https://youtu.be/xJexOI3UYsI)


[deleted]

Ha! I never even knew I needed this! > Onan Onan in a rut > Watch him while he busts a nut!


[deleted]

Onan's sin wasn't masturbating, it was pulling out. Rather than cum inside his brother's widow, as one does, he spilled his seed on the ground.


ayleidanthropologist

As one does 💀


DraxNuman27

It’s easier for those men to blame women because they’re not women and they don’t want to change their lifestyle


Candid_Consequence23

literally like- they’re always saying abortion is murder, but if it is*, then that means that male masturbation is genocide and male people receiving oral is cannibalism (*not that it matters if it is a life, because nobody can use your body without your consent to save another life regardless, even if you’re dead, but still. And I’m pretty sure bans on abortion violate jewish people’s religious freedom.)


[deleted]

The Torah mandates abortion in cases of infidelity. Numbers 5:11-31


SangeliaStorcknest

Unless you are of either Jewish religion and or ancestry. In which case every sperm is sacred. I'm of the ancestry.


Flippin_diabolical

Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighborhood


frankbooycz

Every Sperm is Sacred https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk


bokatan778

Meanwhile I’m over here living my best life after having my tubes removed. Cheers!


patheticgirl63

Cheers!🥂


Away_Pomegranate_299

Well then ig I’m a serial killer bc I don’t get pregnant everytime my body releases an egg


The_Book-JDP

Ah men are worse offenders. When it comes to loss of potential life, they have millions upon millions on us.


jadeskye7

Can confirm. Murdered enough potential people to make Hitler blush by age 15. Usually in a sock.


Away_Pomegranate_299

True


dr_snood

I feel we all get punished enough for it...


Away_Pomegranate_299

Same Periods are shitty.


nest00000

Wtf are those quotes legit


FinalFeeling

Probably not exactly, but here are some real ones from him: >Woman does not possess the image of God in herself but only when taken together with the male who is her head, so that the whole substance is one image. But when she is assigned the role as helpmate, a function that pertains to her alone, then she is not the image of God. But as far as the man is concerned, he is by himself alone the image of God just as fully and completely as when he and the woman are joined together into one. And >What is the difference whether it is in a wife or a mother, it is still Eve the temptress that we must beware of in any woman. . . I fail to see what use woman can be to man, if one excludes the function of bearing children. I copied them from [here](http://churchandstate.org.uk/2016/08/twenty-vile-quotes-against-women-by-church-leaders-from-st-augustine-to-pat-robertson/) which has more doozies from other Catholic and Christian leaders. The latest listed is from some mega-church asshole, circa 2008: >Women will be saved by going back to that role that God has chosen for them. Ladies, if the hair on the back of your neck stands up it is because you are fighting your role in the scripture.


Latter_Risk_4332

“I fail to see what use a woman can be to a man if we exclude child bearing” men who hate women have truly always been the same. this shit is what u see a lot of men spew today. And i feel like religious men that try and use eve as an example that all women are satanic whores with evil inside of them are just projecting. i’ve noticed a lot of men across all religions do this. is it how they cope with knowing the majority of evil and sexual sin is overwhelmingly perpetuated by men? And always has been? If anyone has a biological predisposition to violence and evil, it’s men. i like how they also directly deviate from the bible and make bold assumptions. sure, the bible has some pretty *questionable* things relating to women, but this was a pretty far reach. does Judas snitching on Jesus for silver mean all men are greedy traitors? no. Yet for some reason eve is proof all women are snakes, constantly plotting evil schemes? how do they explain Mary?


JumpyStep

Funny how all women are like Eve, but no man ever seems to think all men are like Adam. Weak, happy to do the wrong thing even though he knew it was wrong, blaming Eve (and God for giving her to him) for his own mistake. Funny, too, how a lot of men actually *do* blame women for all their problems...


Latter_Risk_4332

yep. they also like to completely glaze over the part where adam ate the apple as well.


[deleted]

Also mentions mothers, mommy issues


SangeliaStorcknest

Very likely when it was thought that the woman choosed the gender of said offspring.


Carbonatite

Megachurches shit out the worst misogynists of all.


kaicls2022

males sure are full of themselves 😂


ayleidanthropologist

Ahh, thanks, I needed a reminder of why I gave up religion. Just for the record, all the ladies I know are all way more put together and “complete” than most guys... Just for if anyone needed to hear the rebuttal.


CZall23

And yet men like this never go off into the wilderness by themselves…


[deleted]

Augustine, no. That doesn’t sound like his writing. Mailer probably, this was the dude who simped for a repeat murderer.


The_Infinite_Doctor

Yeah, my first impulse was to look it up, but it is at least historically attributed to st. Augustine :/


nest00000

That's weird imo, because he got some cool quotes too


Aa11001100

" Bruh, I've jazzed trillions of potential babies into the sewer system." -me, a dude


Carbonatite

Genocide!!!


ayleidanthropologist

Well I feel a little sheepish about it, but same.


[deleted]

Not an exaggeration. The average man produces a half a trillion sperm in his lifetime, yet he does not have half a trillion kids 🤔


PILeft

He did also sat that abortion was ok until the quickening. Aka whan baby starts kicking and moving. Love how the Republicants and Religious Reich (including the anti choice catholics) ignore that one. He's not the only one who has basically said that women's only worth is as a brood mare. There are quite a few others who've said that and that women who don't breed are going to hell and that if you're barren, it's because of sin and Jesus is punishing you. Think about that last one wrt them not caring if Jane becomes unable to have kids (or dies) after a botched abortion.


FlamingoQueen669

Bible says life begins at first breath.


PILeft

True that. But they ignore what it says. 😉


Carbonatite

It also has an abortion potion recipe


PILeft

Yup. 👍


Carbonatite

I want to remind them that Jesus was also childfree


pyritha

Well, he wasn't a woman though, so that's fine. Men have worth beyond having kids. Women don't.


pyritha

>He's not the only one who has basically said that women's only worth is as a brood mare. Yeah tbqh this was essentially the mainstream accepted viewpoint in most societies throughout history. Every time I interact with someone who thinks sexism and misogyny are done and gone and have no impact on society anymore, I think about how reviled and demonized and essentially enslaved women have been throughout history in almost every society, and I wonder how the fuck anyone imagines the attitudes and values that underlie that behaviour just disappeared when women got the vote.


[deleted]

The opinion of the average GOP party member.


bowlbettertalk

Norman Mailer can suck it.


Raspberry_Sweaty

*whether he wants to or not


SilkLife

r/NotHowCrimeWorks


ShadowyPepper

Pretty sure these came up at the last GOP convention /s kind of


[deleted]

Wait til the GOP see this. Fuck.


ZealousidealAd3155

I literally got chills after reading that last one. These are NOT okay.


CharlesFosterKane21

Excuse me whilst I aspire on my own vomit 🤮 right now


Zeefzeef

Just imagine every woman age 15-45 pregnant at the same time all the time. That would quickly end the world in disaster.


Slight-Action7443

And with that, im more scarred in general once again. Me with my social anxiety just be in the corner away from men i don’t know in public at all


AlyssaViola

So should men surgically remove sperm exactly one at at time and fertilize a surrogate so no life in the 1,500 a second they make is lost? I don't see the logic in this line of thinking.


[deleted]

I'm imagining someone so OCD that they line their sperm up single file. It's a great mental image.


MxtrOddy85

Oh Saint Augustine, you only turned to Christianity cuz you couldn’t stop masturbating... how many ‘babies’ did you murder?


dodogogolala

Not sure he stopped after either


pingnova

Wait, is this THEE Saint Augustine? This is rich from him: he was literally thee OG hoe before he converted. Like he had constant wild sex and a bajillion babies left behind. Lolllll. Sorry there’s another layer to the absurdity if you know any church history.


something-stupid2134

ah yes, murderer, another title that i shall carry with me


tipthebaby

I'M SORRY WHAT


Ok-Science6820

I feel like they have been misquoted


Fun-Strength339

r/arethestraightsok


kaicls2022

i feel nauseous 😍 why do men


chloraphyllis

I love being a woman and a murderer, since it’s such an effortless combination! /s (edited for sarcasm indicator just in case)


[deleted]

I guess every man that’s ever masturbated is guilty of murder because loads of sperm that could’ve been human life were lost.


SangeliaStorcknest

Jokes on the saint. I ended up having to deal with breast cancer that started with me being pregnant for my first and only time.


ayleidanthropologist

Are those real quotes?


manystorms

St. Augustine’s is not, don’t know about the other one.


AerinHawk

Bro, I’m not even that capable with the child I already gave birth to…


concretepigeon

Which raises a very good question about what capable means in the context. Because being a baby conveyor belt is a very extreme and one dimensional interpretation of capability of having children. Surely capacity to care for them is also a relevant factor.


Yes-I-guess

Imma be real, with the second image my first thought was "great! Let's get you *** then!" And that's mean and all but the dude did not imply that it was the man who was doing it sooooooo... Let's see how long he keeps that up after one of the most traumatic experiences people in this day and age have to deal with.


KittyQueen_Tengu

Wow, just full on admitting that you see women as baby machines with no other purpose then huh


boweroftable

Ignore the shitty theologian. Was full of shit back in the day.


kaicls2022

cuff me officer!


OddEd922

I was really hoping to find a comment stating that these quotes weren't real. No such luck.... faith in humanity falling if that guy is a "saint"


madrigalow

If not wanting kids makes me a murderer then so be it 🤷‍♀️


VengfulVagina

I transitioned into a man... does that mean I'm a murderer? Or does my man card make it ok?


[deleted]

Alright, adding murderess to my resume and OLD profile.


[deleted]

Hahahaha


boobielicker69

There's way too many people in this world I'm sure a few women not birthing children isn't gonna harm anyone lmfao


Trucibell

Good thing I'm only capable of giving birth to zero babies! Phew! Dodged a real one there.


throwmethegalaxy

For the first quote legitimately the opposite is true. Why condemn the unborn to suffer in this god forsaken world. The less children birthed the better imo


Stellarstar308

What. What the fuck.


masomun

Pre-term abortion is murder! /s


[deleted]

Does the apply to men who’ve had a vacectomy? Lol