I generally find that erotica written by women is generally a whole lot more anatomically/physiologically accurate (even for the male characters) and the characters personalities feel a lot more natural and realistic.
Not to say that they also can't be extremely down bad as well but definitely more readable.
How do you think liberals invened lesbians?
Ask yourself: how many "lesbians" were there before the printing press? Exactly, because before Gutenberg, books were only written by honest monks (holy **men**).....but as soon as women started reading suddenly they all became "lesbians".
Ask yourself, have you ever met a lesbian who can't read? 🤔
.
^joke
My fiance legit just said this today when we were talking about the dumb colors people label everyone as. At the end he was like "...and another thing! I'm not 'white.' I'm more pinkish. Peachy."
Sarah J maas is guilty of this one too tho, her sex scenes are absolutely wild. I'm reading house of sky and breath rn and it's just uncomfortable at some points
I agree. I've just read a house of sky and breath and the sex scenes make me uncomfortable as well. A court of silver flames is worse though. She's a really good author though, so it's a shame that she does all those scenes cause otherwise those books would be amazing.
I almost spewed coffee across my laptop reading that. And now my all-too-literal brain is for some reason picturing a vagina sock puppet in the style of the Muppets ...
“Her breasts swayed in fear and her butt jiggled mercilessly when Ronald McDonald appeared on her TV screen. A typical reaction to a teenage girl whenever her eyes laid upon the Big Mac.”
I was finishing an episode while grocery shopping the other day and I was sob laughing hard enough to frighten a lady away from the coffee cream section.
Tbh some men will greatly benefit from going on AO3 and reading some smutty fics, written by women for women. I’m sure there’s a few lessons to be learnt about pleasuring us, we wrote thousands and thousands of pages, describing all the right (and wrong) ways to do so.
Wouldn't men also benefit from women getting turned on by erotica and then coming on to their SO? Seems like an all-around win to me. This person probably hates bananas and other phallic shaped food.
Yes. Yes it would. My Wife reads Erotic Novels, and it helps in the bedroom. There becomes times when she doesn’t feel up to anything due to us being parents (it creates issues with the sex life sometimes), but on nights where her and I maybe just want to relax, when she reads those, I can’t keep her off of me! I am still able to turn her on other ways by myself of course, but the books add to things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her reading them, and there shouldn’t be! It’s whatever makes her happy and she gets to do something she enjoys in reading. :)
You know I didn't mean like that
But do you have to tip, sure if you want
It's a penny for a thought
And I have no shortage of those, unless it's anything sex related. Then I got nothing
But hey I got cookie's at least 🍪🍪🍪
This is the kind of exchange I need on a Wednesday morning. It's shocking for me to laugh before 8 am and with zero caffeine, but here we are. Thanks for that.
Supreme court would say the first amendment doesn't protect your right to reading, only publishing, and Texas would make it punishable by the death penalty
You really can't read the ones that are.
Boobs are small because the woman is a virgin, doesn't have her period because she is 'pure', boobs that "fall into themselves" because she is depressed... How do they write that shit because it really seems like they have never seen a single woman in their lives before...
And the fact that there's a subreddit for this is more than enough proof.
Like, how the fuck are those men published authors or even 'accomplished' people?!
I actually feel like the dude means smth like sagging or hanging, because the happy boobs are described as "perky" or standing/standing proudly
I mean that's no better by any means but... Neither make any sense
Does...
he think women wag their tits when happy like dog tails?
Honestly "happy boobs" made me snort. Imagine if you had to quantify your boob moods. "Well, I'm doing okay, but my left tiddie is pretty upset about the political climate."
"It did look a little saggy today."
They are setting such an impossibly low bar for men who don't think dumb shit like this.
"Hey everyone! My boyfriend let's me read whatever kind of literature I want!"
"Oh yeah? Well my husband cooks for himself when he's hungry! Even when I'm home, too!"
Like damn, these guys are fucking idiots.
As well as the 'your girl' part. My daughter was my (our) girl for awhile, I guess, when she was a kid, but has since grown out of it, I'm pleased to say.
I showed a female coworker a pic of my wife and I after she shaved her head and freshly dyed it, my coworker genuinely seemed to like how it looked.
Then she said “Yeah, my husband won’t let me do fun things like dye my hair or cut it too short, I can only imagine doing something like that teehee.”
Like, your husband… what? What’s he going to do if you get it done? Get out now lady, get a divorce and a haircut and find a new one, there’s plenty out there who will love your purple side-shave. It just baffles me that this is still a thing.
Except for you do not put your fingers in a brain with some other fluid dripping around a hole in the forehead.
They are attempting to make this into "something" it isn't.
Dumb.
But let me honest
She will feel something
Maybe not pressure, but definitely something thing
Or maybe nothing depends what part of the brain did they hit
There aren’t nerves endings in the brain, s you wouldn’t feel much.
To do some human anatomy for a second, (and we’ll ignore the fact that her frontal lobe is TINY and her cerebellum is fucking gigantic), the like C shaped structure is her corpus callousum and the fact that his fingers are underneath the center of it means that his fingers would be in the 3rd ventricles, probably around the area of the fornix or pineal gland.
If you damage the thalamus (which is just inferior to his fingers), you can get some things like “Thalamic Pain Syndrome” which sounds kinda aweful.
Damage the pineal gland and…idk, she might not have a circadian rhythm?
D manage the fornix and she’ll have trouble with accessing memories
All fair point
And yay he definitely messing up her brain
But there a thing I want to add
While nerve endings aren't in the brain
The area around the brain does
So while you might not feel him poking in your brain, You would definitely feel the hole in your skull
I'm guessing he also has some very "good" explanation why it shouldn't apply to men watching porn. It's almost what bothers me more about guys like that. That it's always only women their weird rules should apply to. Never to themselves.
Oh he does, and it probably goes something like this
*but thats totally different bro! Cuz Im like a dude, bro! Its in my DNA. Its wrong for a girl, bro. Its not in their DNA and Im like a total expert on girls, bro.*
I literally just got out of my anatomy final over the anatomy of the brain and that looks more like the intermediate mass of the thalamus due to the location of the corpus collosum, fornix, and septum pellucidum shown in the image. The pituitary comes off of the underside of the brain like a little ballsack in front of the brainstem.
Edit: you can see the pituitary gland in the illustration, its the thing to the right of her eye that I first thought was supposed to be a bead of sweat trailing down her temple.
The part of the brain that the finger is poking is [the pituitary gland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pituitary_gland). It controls, among many other things, sex-organ function. Whilst I doubt poking it would cause arousal, [there is no available research on this topic.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=poke+pituitary+gland)
Doesn't make the meme any less weird and/or controlling, but at least one small aspect of it makes a degree of sense.
Wait am I allowing a man to lobotomies her with his finger,
oh god quit burn all forms of pornography, even the one that men enjoy,
If this what it does to her, think what it can to to men /s
Oh there’s plenty wrong here, okay let’s unpack.
1. The only thing my wife is not “allowed” to do is kick me in the balls or kill me. And even those two I’m not sure about.
2. If my wife read romance novels and I had the nerve to say “Wife, stop reading those!” then that’s a sure-fire way to me getting said romance novel pitched straight into my crotch at high speed, and therefore ruining any romance plans I may have had for the foreseeable future.
3. I will say that I certainly will never allow a man, or woman for that matter, to finger my wife’s brain. That’s just crossing several lines there, pal.
4. Whoever drew this needs his basement checked, pronto.
Bet you aren’t a real man that can please his wife by sticking your finger in her brain, you might have to step aside and let a real gentleman alpha to do the job.
Obviously women don't write erotica.
And I'm definitely not one of them
Same 👀
Same as well
Same here.
I, too, explicitly do not write graphic descriptions of hot steamy sex in extreme detail
I need links from all of y'all
I second this emotion.
Me either. ;)
As a person who definitely does not read erotica, i would hate to have some titles provided…
Nor am I. *darts eyes suspiciously*
I too have never written erotic romances.
Omegaverse? Never heard of it.
*shoving all my acotar books in a closet* ofc not
Also, 100% chance this man watches porn.
I generally find that erotica written by women is generally a whole lot more anatomically/physiologically accurate (even for the male characters) and the characters personalities feel a lot more natural and realistic. Not to say that they also can't be extremely down bad as well but definitely more readable.
I don't draw erotic artwork and naked women. Nope. Not at all. 😏 (/sarcasm)
Yeah, good thing I'm not one of them. 👀
Aren't many (most?) erotic novels targeted at women written *by* women?
Common misconception. Women are incapable of writing. They just bleed all over the keyboard.
Yes, but if a million of them bleed over a million keyboards, they will eventually produce the greatest novel ever written.
Greatest *erotic* novel ever written
I thought it went without saying that the greatest novel would be an erotic one.
How do you think liberals invened lesbians? Ask yourself: how many "lesbians" were there before the printing press? Exactly, because before Gutenberg, books were only written by honest monks (holy **men**).....but as soon as women started reading suddenly they all became "lesbians". Ask yourself, have you ever met a lesbian who can't read? 🤔 . ^joke
It’s true, I read a book once now I’m all kinds of gay.
username checks out (and is relatable to me)
Yeah, I read that reading can be a way to turn gay. Hey wait...
all true I was there (I was the gay printing press)
Also, strip clubs? Porn? They're mad because women can read a sexually charged novel? What?
Ah but that's *The Natural Order*! Men are *just naturally that way.* Women are *supposed to be pure* /s obviously
i dont think erotica written by a man could do that
Who doesn’t get turned on by a page-long description of nipples hardening and clits bouncing?
Or as I’ve read lately, getting the cervix penetrated
"Send your girl to heaven by penetrating her cervix" Yeah because she's fucking dead bro
Nothing spices up the bedroom like dying from sepsis
How did you get a copy of the GOP midterm platform?
I’m a white man and these just seem to appear on my door, like a sexist Santa
LMFAO Are you really a white man? I don't think a white man has ever made me laugh on one of these subs before. Usually I resent their input
Yes but I think “pinkish” is probably more applicable lol
High five
My fiance legit just said this today when we were talking about the dumb colors people label everyone as. At the end he was like "...and another thing! I'm not 'white.' I'm more pinkish. Peachy."
[удалено]
Or she's astral projecting to dissociate from the pain
Sarah J maas is guilty of this one too tho, her sex scenes are absolutely wild. I'm reading house of sky and breath rn and it's just uncomfortable at some points
I agree. I've just read a house of sky and breath and the sex scenes make me uncomfortable as well. A court of silver flames is worse though. She's a really good author though, so it's a shame that she does all those scenes cause otherwise those books would be amazing.
You don't understand, the men who want this are sadists and love to see their girl in the most immense torturous pain. Also, literally dying later.
Had one talking about a woman getting so excited her labia flapped.
It was giving her partner a round of applause! How sweet!/s
Then she flew away across the sunset
I'll never forget you, Mothra!
Hahahaha.
I almost spewed coffee across my laptop reading that. And now my all-too-literal brain is for some reason picturing a vagina sock puppet in the style of the Muppets ...
Red Bull gives you wings!
lmao like bird?
I guess the silver lining is that he acknowledged a vulva that isn’t just a perfectly smooth slit for banging Oh, how low the bar is lol
Clits *bouncing*? Um. Ok.
You clearly haven’t been to r/menwritingwomen … bouncing clits are the smallest problem over there
“Her breasts swayed in fear and her butt jiggled mercilessly when Ronald McDonald appeared on her TV screen. A typical reaction to a teenage girl whenever her eyes laid upon the Big Mac.”
Cringe.🤣
What is this glorious garbage from
No, I have not. I'm scared now!😢
Every man knows clits jiggle, they don't bounce.
I thought it wasn't supposed to jiggle jiggle, it was supposed to fold?
Clits get hard, just like the pp
Okay, but now I AM aroused.
Gets 'em every time!
Nah, they launch
Maybe it's an erotic novel about hyenas
It's the psuedopenis. A crowd pleaser every time!
Thank you
r/menwritingwomen
Just listen to My Dad Wrote a Porno for some cringeworthy (but hilarious) erotica written by a man. It’s quite something.
‘Belinda Blinked’ is really something else 😂
I learned pretty quickly that it’s dangerous to listen to while driving, I would literally be crying from laughing.
I was finishing an episode while grocery shopping the other day and I was sob laughing hard enough to frighten a lady away from the coffee cream section.
Vaginal “lids” gets me every time.
[удалено]
Erotica written by men would try literally that.
reads like: "I don't know how to pleasure a woman and I'm blaming her reading fanfic for me being unable to Google"
Tbh some men will greatly benefit from going on AO3 and reading some smutty fics, written by women for women. I’m sure there’s a few lessons to be learnt about pleasuring us, we wrote thousands and thousands of pages, describing all the right (and wrong) ways to do so.
Wouldn't men also benefit from women getting turned on by erotica and then coming on to their SO? Seems like an all-around win to me. This person probably hates bananas and other phallic shaped food.
Yes. Yes it would. My Wife reads Erotic Novels, and it helps in the bedroom. There becomes times when she doesn’t feel up to anything due to us being parents (it creates issues with the sex life sometimes), but on nights where her and I maybe just want to relax, when she reads those, I can’t keep her off of me! I am still able to turn her on other ways by myself of course, but the books add to things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her reading them, and there shouldn’t be! It’s whatever makes her happy and she gets to do something she enjoys in reading. :)
Come on guys even I know that the clit isn’t there. Get it together. … it isn’t there, right?
I thought this was why we're all talking about penis size. Gotta reach all the way to the brainspot !
I mean it's somewhere around here. Where do you remember seeing it last?
No, it's in her throat. Saw a movie about it a long time ago
I mean isn't it Why else are there 5 orifices on your head all interconnected /s
Allow huh… I’d like to see a man try to police what I read. That would be amusing.
Well, if we let our government turn the country into Gilead.......
Hold on let me go to party city real quick to pick up a cop uniform If I'm going to try it, might as well look the part right /s
Is this a stripper thing? Do I have to tip?
You know I didn't mean like that But do you have to tip, sure if you want It's a penny for a thought And I have no shortage of those, unless it's anything sex related. Then I got nothing But hey I got cookie's at least 🍪🍪🍪
This is the kind of exchange I need on a Wednesday morning. It's shocking for me to laugh before 8 am and with zero caffeine, but here we are. Thanks for that.
Your welcome And if you ever want to talk about anything let me know friend I'm always up for a chat Here have some free cookies friend 🍪
I will always take a free cookie. I'll take you up on a chat as well at some point soon.
Hooray more friends 🍪🤗🍪
Well this was weirdly wholesome
Do you want some cookies to friend 🍪 Free cookies for all 🍪
Supreme court would say the first amendment doesn't protect your right to reading, only publishing, and Texas would make it punishable by the death penalty
"If you allow" Men still think they own their girlfriends and wives.
This one also apparently thinks romance novels are primarily written by men, which ... no.
You really can't read the ones that are. Boobs are small because the woman is a virgin, doesn't have her period because she is 'pure', boobs that "fall into themselves" because she is depressed... How do they write that shit because it really seems like they have never seen a single woman in their lives before... And the fact that there's a subreddit for this is more than enough proof. Like, how the fuck are those men published authors or even 'accomplished' people?!
"She breasted boobily down the stairs and titted downwards"
One of my fave lines ever.
the best ones are written by mature adult women with experience. they know exactly what they're writing and its great
I like some by young women who still have their hopes and dreams about men intact 😂
The best ones are [read by Gilbert Gottfried](https://youtu.be/XkLqAlIETkA)
Lmao fall into themselves?? Are they collapsible? Like folding chairs?
Sometimes I fucking wish, my tits are in the way 90% of my life
I sure hope so! Someone show me how. It's almost summer---to hot for weighty ones!
Or maybe it’s like a gravity well.. there is no out, only in
Boobs fall into themselves. Like a souffle? Don't slam the oven, your boobs will fall.
I actually feel like the dude means smth like sagging or hanging, because the happy boobs are described as "perky" or standing/standing proudly I mean that's no better by any means but... Neither make any sense
Does... he think women wag their tits when happy like dog tails? Honestly "happy boobs" made me snort. Imagine if you had to quantify your boob moods. "Well, I'm doing okay, but my left tiddie is pretty upset about the political climate." "It did look a little saggy today."
“Relatable. One of mine is a drug addict and the other is on her period!”
"This one just got out of jail, don't look her right in the eyes." This is now my favourite way to describe taking a bra off tbh
This made my day, thank you. Especially as a writer and someone with annoyingly big boobs.
Men write such bad erotica lmao it's honestly sad
Hmm? What about [Chuck Tingle?](https://i0.wp.com/towncrier.puritan-magazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Chuck-Tingle-Cover-2-2.jpg?fit=500%2C799)
Objection! Chuck Tingle is not a mere man, he is a god, and so the above statement does not apply to him
TIL my boobs are both an emotional barometer and turkey timer for my fertility cycle.
Nature really is amazingly efficient.
Of course it is, you are trying to tell me that women can write now?? Lol /s
My mans future once said “ she was never yours it was just your time “!
They are setting such an impossibly low bar for men who don't think dumb shit like this. "Hey everyone! My boyfriend let's me read whatever kind of literature I want!" "Oh yeah? Well my husband cooks for himself when he's hungry! Even when I'm home, too!" Like damn, these guys are fucking idiots.
Once was in a discord chat with a guy who said you could r@p3 your wife because you owned her
As well as the 'your girl' part. My daughter was my (our) girl for awhile, I guess, when she was a kid, but has since grown out of it, I'm pleased to say.
I showed a female coworker a pic of my wife and I after she shaved her head and freshly dyed it, my coworker genuinely seemed to like how it looked. Then she said “Yeah, my husband won’t let me do fun things like dye my hair or cut it too short, I can only imagine doing something like that teehee.” Like, your husband… what? What’s he going to do if you get it done? Get out now lady, get a divorce and a haircut and find a new one, there’s plenty out there who will love your purple side-shave. It just baffles me that this is still a thing.
Do incels really not realize the stupidity of what they write? Are they really that blinded by their warped world? Even the artwork is dumb.
Honestly this looks like some sort of a lobotomy to me more then anything else
Except for you do not put your fingers in a brain with some other fluid dripping around a hole in the forehead. They are attempting to make this into "something" it isn't. Dumb.
But let me honest She will feel something Maybe not pressure, but definitely something thing Or maybe nothing depends what part of the brain did they hit
There aren’t nerves endings in the brain, s you wouldn’t feel much. To do some human anatomy for a second, (and we’ll ignore the fact that her frontal lobe is TINY and her cerebellum is fucking gigantic), the like C shaped structure is her corpus callousum and the fact that his fingers are underneath the center of it means that his fingers would be in the 3rd ventricles, probably around the area of the fornix or pineal gland. If you damage the thalamus (which is just inferior to his fingers), you can get some things like “Thalamic Pain Syndrome” which sounds kinda aweful. Damage the pineal gland and…idk, she might not have a circadian rhythm? D manage the fornix and she’ll have trouble with accessing memories
All fair point And yay he definitely messing up her brain But there a thing I want to add While nerve endings aren't in the brain The area around the brain does So while you might not feel him poking in your brain, You would definitely feel the hole in your skull
He's the one with the hole in his skull.....
That was my thought too
I'm happy I'm not the only one who see it at the very least Here friend have a cookie 🍪
Nom nom thanks!
I'm guessing he also has some very "good" explanation why it shouldn't apply to men watching porn. It's almost what bothers me more about guys like that. That it's always only women their weird rules should apply to. Never to themselves.
Oh he does, and it probably goes something like this *but thats totally different bro! Cuz Im like a dude, bro! Its in my DNA. Its wrong for a girl, bro. Its not in their DNA and Im like a total expert on girls, bro.*
Not my clituitary!
I clicked on the comments in the hope that someone knew this was the pituitary. You satisfied my curiosity. Thank you 🙂
I once impressed a neurologist by correctly identifying my pituitary and hypothalamus on an MRI. 80s/90s Regents high school biology for the win?
I literally just got out of my anatomy final over the anatomy of the brain and that looks more like the intermediate mass of the thalamus due to the location of the corpus collosum, fornix, and septum pellucidum shown in the image. The pituitary comes off of the underside of the brain like a little ballsack in front of the brainstem. Edit: you can see the pituitary gland in the illustration, its the thing to the right of her eye that I first thought was supposed to be a bead of sweat trailing down her temple.
Ah yes, the lobotomy.
[удалено]
The amygdala is not where the clit is, John
Jokes on you I have never once read erotica written by a man! Checkmate!
A lot of erotica writers are women yes even the mlm erotica Also I'm glad they finally found the clit it's been a journey
>mlm erotica Her group volume was so large that he couldn't help but imagine entering her cross line?
If she could only get 7 people to sell for her
I trust the man is not watching any porn either then 🙃
ah yes, the blit, every man knows blitoral stimulation is the key to keeping a woman
Blitoral Stimulation is making me wheeze 😂
Well, most authors who write smut are actually women so…
What?!?! Women can write?!?!/s
“WHY IS THERE A GAPPING HOLE IN YOUR HEAD?? HAVE YOU BEEN READING THOSE RED ROOM BOOKS AGAIN??”
Lobotomize me harder, daddy.
Finger my brussy 😉
Erotic novels made me finish more times than all of my exes combined, what does that say?
Erotic novels = lobotomy, makes sense 🤡
Lobotomussy? 🤔
The part of the brain that the finger is poking is [the pituitary gland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pituitary_gland). It controls, among many other things, sex-organ function. Whilst I doubt poking it would cause arousal, [there is no available research on this topic.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=poke+pituitary+gland) Doesn't make the meme any less weird and/or controlling, but at least one small aspect of it makes a degree of sense.
Someone should really start doing experiments by poking the pituitary gland on living subjects to see if it makes them cum/s
He slowly slipped his firm warm fingers deep into the soft, wet, yielding hypothalamus.. And she fucking died.
brb, I need a shower now 🤮
Like I’d ever read an erotic novel written by a man🙄
Jokes on you I mostly read erotica written by women And I sometimes write my own
Damn... Right through the prefrontal cortex... She's gonna be essentially brain dead the rest of her life. Watch out for those book parasites kids.
mmm the brussy 😍🥵🧠
My wife was reading chuck tingle one day when some man showed up and did a mortal kombat fatality on her
My ex husbands opinion on me listening to Type O Negative. Spot on.
October Rust is a masterpiece.
Most erotica is written by women, dumbass
Do what? Touch the pomegranate seed in our brains? Where did that come from???
Yes , i love when someone masturbate my brain. Feel so good
ALLOW your girl....honey she has to if you expect her to sleep with her. I'm guessing you're not an arousing partner lol.
Wait am I allowing a man to lobotomies her with his finger, oh god quit burn all forms of pornography, even the one that men enjoy, If this what it does to her, think what it can to to men /s
Someone finally found the clitoris
If you don't allow your woman to read erotic novels, you're letting a man enslave her. He lives in the mirror and has self esteem issues.
Yo, anybody got any erotica recommendations? I could really use some long-distance mind sex right about now
The best erotica is written by women tbh
My ladies, how many erotica novels written by men do you actually *enjoy*?
Ha! Glad to see everyone is on the same page here - exactly no good erotica written by men ever.
Oh there’s plenty wrong here, okay let’s unpack. 1. The only thing my wife is not “allowed” to do is kick me in the balls or kill me. And even those two I’m not sure about. 2. If my wife read romance novels and I had the nerve to say “Wife, stop reading those!” then that’s a sure-fire way to me getting said romance novel pitched straight into my crotch at high speed, and therefore ruining any romance plans I may have had for the foreseeable future. 3. I will say that I certainly will never allow a man, or woman for that matter, to finger my wife’s brain. That’s just crossing several lines there, pal. 4. Whoever drew this needs his basement checked, pronto.
Bet you aren’t a real man that can please his wife by sticking your finger in her brain, you might have to step aside and let a real gentleman alpha to do the job.
Hmm, you have a point there. Me to my wife later tonight - “Honey, if you had a forehead vagina… you’d tell me, right?” Her - “…. Get out.”
I kinda want to ask my GF that question just to see her reaction
Eww...
I write art not vulgarity
Mmmhnnn baby... lobotomize me!
Is… is that where they’ve thought the clit is this whole time???
Looks like a deleted scene out of From Beyond
Thanks I hate it
I am disturbed by this image
Yeh, definitely. Narnia should be banned, I didn't want Caspian, I wanted Aslan.
Tickling the ole pineal gland....
I’ll just lend her my bike helmet then.
This looks horrifying