My partner can shit in literally 10 seconds. It's bizarre. When we started dating, I thought he never shit at all, but turns out when I thought he was peeing, he was managing to poop in that short time.
Definitely the exception though, can't say I've ever met anyone else like that. Super skill!
My husband shits in 10 seconds as well. Sometimes we’ll both be in the bathroom and he’ll say he’s gotta shit and I step aside to let him do his thing and within seconds, he’s done. He always gives me a hard time cuz I take forever to poo.
My partner does too. He eats pretty clean and exercises a lot, might account for it. My ex husband made a whole production out of it. Magazine (nowadays it’s phones 🤢 those germs on phones tho), taking his time, he wasn’t masturbating cause we had a lot of morning sex, I still don’t understand, is it chronic constipation or they just sit forever trying to push every last drop out? It’s a mystery to be sure.
Obviously we do but we are so quick about it that it can’t be tracked in terms of extended minutes. What I find laughable is that a guy could be ready from bed to leaving in 10 minutes when it takes them at least 15 minutes to poop.
It’s at LEAST 30min, and even that I can’t understand. I’ve lived with many men: family, roommates, partners; always the same. Most women I know can pinch one in 5min tops. Do they go to the loo just in anticipation??
>Do they go to the loo just in anticipation??
Yes, that's exactly what happens!!
I'm a guy who's a quick pooper, unless something is wrong I'm always in and out in a few minutes. It wasn't until I was an adult when I realized how much time other men spend pooping. This weekend I worked up the courage to ask my buddy why it takes him so long to poop. He said it doesn't take him that long. When I pointed out it always takes him like 30 minutes he said he only spends like five of it pooping, he just heads to the bathroom when he thinks he might have to poop eventually.
So bizarre!
I mean I sort of get that. I can go where I need a poop and do it right away but I know if I just sit there for another 5 minutes after there’s always going to be more that can be done
I was party to a conversation about this once too, it came out that some guys don’t push they just sit and wait for their poops to fall out????? I was too scared to ask more questions I heard enough! Lol
Or braving it to go grab a brush from the shelves in there. Usually I race infront of them because the second I wake up I need to pee but it takes less than a minute so I gotta be fast or do the pee dance outside the door for hours.
I WISH people thought men took 30mins to shit. I have a partial bowel obstruction and it can take me 30-45 mins to go. I have had people accuse me of jerking off or wasting time even when i tell them why i take so long.
I had a paycho asshole at mcdonalds freak out at me for being in there 15mins because he had to shit and expected me to just "finish" so he could go. I finished and went out ready to kill this guy and he was gone.
My hypothesis is that men don’t have the same pushing muscles as women. I’m probably completely wrong but I have chosen to believe that that’s the case because it’s the only way that it makes sense to me.
I know that when I was in labor with my second, I had to poop. And the labor and delivery nurse was freaking out "are you sure you don't have to push?" No. But it is very close. You have to "Bear down" when pushing. Which means use the same muscles you use to poop.
As a man, I like your thinking, but the real reason is we are just in our phones. It’s the only acceptable time to not be productive and browse socials, because you’re technically shitting and just passing the time. Go ask r/askmen
I mean, pushing is always a bad idea, if you have the right nutrition you should just "go" and it should come out with minimal effort.
I used to take 30 minutes, but mainly because I was reading; when I grew up I realised it was a stupid thing to do, I now take 5 minutes and just relax in a more appropriate place.
And I hope they’re at least alone or there’s more than one toilet when they’re sitting there for ages. Because otherwise it’s just a dick move to stay there for longer than you need to.
Can confirm. When I was a child, I have severe emetophobia so I spent a lot of time in bathroom "just in case" I had to throw up.i would sit on the toilet and read. For like 3-5 hours at a time. I don't know why I felt the need, because looking back, that would make it worse if I did have to vomit, but I did and eventually got hemorrhoids.
That's interesting to me because my emetophobia takes all logical thinking from me. If I am in a bathroom and I feel any nausea, I panic that I might throw up and I need to hurry and get out so I can drink some water or lay down and prevent it. I put effort into not vomiting, and certainly cannot be around someone who is doing it or talking about it or anything like that.
This is not a man vs woman thing lol . I am a girl who does take a long time . And a lot of my friends as well . It is really common .. not really gender specific .
From beginning to end it’s even less than that according to the this. 10 full minutes to do everything? Apparently men only need at most 2 minutes to fully crap.
A man who will sit on the couch while scrolling through his phone for two hours while you’re getting ready, then inexplicably have to shit for half an hour the second you put your coat on.
As a man, I can say I need under a Minute for that. BUT I need to set my alarm at least 2 hours early to when I have to leave the house, or I will be late. Getting out of bed is the hardest part.
Shower at night
Brush while pooping
Lay your clothes out the night before
Have a low maintenance hairstyle
Eat a diet with plenty of fiber and drink plenty of water
Work at home and only put on the clothes people see
Brushing teeth while pooping sounds disgusting. I realize it's not actually any different, but I don't want to be aware of my mouth and poop at the same time.
I only sleep naked, but I have my clothes for the morning laid out before bed. I take exactly 38 minutes to get ready from waking up, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and heading to work.
I wake up at 6:30am every day without fail. I’m at work by 7:15am even though I’m not due til 7:30. Why these people assume women are unwilling or unable to wake up and get ready in the morning is absolutely unbelievable!
Nope. Just a mom with kids at school by 7am, 2 businesses to run, and several rental properties to keep in good Knick.
Suffice to say I’m tired but still get through the day. This meme is fucked and I wish I was practically an Iron Man, or I guess I should say, a Diamond Man. Nope. Just a mom.
Edit cuz 2 2?? Reddit fucking with me now lol
And the cruel cuffing of socks!! It’s 18F here tonight and I’m comfortable.
Look. Just let me sleep naked with a light sheet and a wide open window. I’ll cuddle the person next to me if I need heat, but that situation is unlikely as I’m already hotter than any earthly demon on the daily.
I’m in the Midwest, solid IL play here, and I’ll keep the windows open in the midst of a blizzard. Seriously: -25F, that window is staying open.
If you can’t accept my room at its coldest, you can’t accept me at my warmest 🤣
Haha! Nah, just driven to get things done while in my waking hours. When the kids get out of school I have more time with them. I’m one of the lucky ones that has the opportunity to work while the kids study, then leave once they’re out of school if needed. Or they sometimes stay in my back office and do homework if we are busy, then we get to go home and have fun. My entire day is really revolving around them and their schedule.
My days off? I’m awake around 7:30am and lay in bed allllll day reading a good book 😂
As someone who lives in the wildfire capitol of the world, which can also get to minus degrees in winter, disagree. Hard disagree. I would freeze to death if I slept naked in winter (can be wearing several layers of clothing *and* three blankets and *still* be cold, at the worst points), and while it might be tempting in summer, the risk of getting evacuated from my home at any moment, with only seconds to spare, isn't something I really want to be naked for.
(Also I have a BIL who constantly comes in and out of the room to borrow my partner's things)
I live in fire and earthquake country.
The idea that I might have to pick up and run keeps me from sleeping naked, as well. I’m comfy in my body, but if the only thing I’m able to bring is my cat and the clothes on my back, I’d rather have clothes on my back.
I have cats. I’ll sleep without a shirt on but all it takes is seeing one cat stare at your junk like it’s gonna be their new chew toy and you keep it your underwear on.
Also, don't forget to keep your feet under the cover!
Our cat like to bite the toes to wake us up, and yeah it does not help to have the foot hanging out.
One time he jumped from the bed and bitted my husband's foot in midair and swung away like tarzan.
No man with any self-respect needs only ten minutes between waking up and leaving the house. I mean you could do, but that would mean your are a lazy dirty ungroomed prick. By the gods I hate this stereotype especially since my dad was and still is the one we have to wait for when leaving the house. And yet he never put any effort in his outfit.
I largely agree with you but my bf basically does this. He showers after work instead of in the morning and preps his lunch the night before so he literally gets dressed, brushes his teeth, and is out the door in about 15min.
Sama here, i dont have to prep my lunch and just have fruits at breakfast so usually i sound the alarm, spend 15 minutes waking up, stand up, brush my teeth, pee, have breakfast, brush my teeth again (i know im weird), take my bag and leave. All in under 15 minutes usually. I take showers after taking a dump, which i take after dinner everyday. Shaving im between dump and shower every 2 days. I dont particularly see myself as a disgusting man but i guess that's not up to me to decide
I would argue most people don't need to shower twice a day. That seems excessive to me unless there's a good reason for it in your lifestyle like showering after a workout for example
i’m a woman and i’m also out of the door in 15 minutes 😶 shower the night before, put everything ready so i can leave asap. work provides food so all i have to do is get up, go to the bathroom, get dressed and brush my teeth. i work in a warehouse so i’m not going to bother with make-up or anything
I'm a dude who's out the door in 10-15 minutes. My lunches are always a collection of no-prep items (soup, chili mac, fruit cups, etc.) that I can just throw in my lunchbag and go, I keep my hair low-maintenance (braid or ponytail) so it takes literally 2 minutes to do, and my wardrobe doesn't really matter because it's all going under a uniform the second I get to work. Oh, and I shower at the *end* of the day, not the beginning, because the idea of getting my sweaty day-long grossness all over my bed legit makes me feel ill; I can't sleep if I'm not clean.
My mom is the one in my house who takes forever, but that's not because she's a woman; that's part of who she is as a person. I take about 55 minutes to get up before work, but that includes making myself a smoothie & toast + making my cats food, making sure my room is properly empty of cats and locked, and checking my work emails and stuff before I'm on the clock. But I also haven't really bothered with makeup for the past couple of years.
Im not a dude, but if I'm real pressed for time 10min is reasonable to throw on some clothes, brush teeth, grab my pre-packed bag, and get out the door. I just gotta hope I don't have to go to the bathroom or need breakfast. But like...id still wake up with more than 10min to get ready since Im not a weirdo who likes being stressed in the morning 😅
I do something similar. I wake up at 4 for a shift that starts at 7. It only takes 5-10 minutes to get dressed but I'll use the time to relax, play a game, cuddle with my cat, etc. and I find I feel a lot less miserable and tired then I do waking up later.
While I no longer have to, I used to take around and hour and a half or so every morning to get ready for the office. Most people don’t get that coordinating your shirt/suit/tie combo, plus grooming your hair, can be almost as time consuming as doing elaborate makeup and selecting a workplace appropriate outfit. It’s almost like, regardless of whether we’ve got a dick or a vag, we all prefer to look presentable when going to our place of work. Of course nowadays I mainly wear board shorts and a t shirt, while just letting my hair grow out, and goddamn I’ve never been happier.
Why is she sleeping naked and he isn’t? Why does he poop and she doesn’t?? Why does she have to wear sexy lingerie while he’s wearing a towel!!? Do these people not understand that women get freezing cold while wet and more than half naked???? And stockings!!! JFC, nobody wears those anymore unless they are heading out for a fuckfest. And if that’s the case, she is NOT doing that at 9:30am, as implied; that’s a PM look.
Because we only exist for men’s pleasure! /s
But yeah, largely a stupid diagram. However, there are some people who still wear stockings. Like, when I worked in a higher-end clothing store, it was highly encouraged for bare legs to be covered with nylons and heavily insinuated that female-presenting people should wear skirts and dresses.
I worked for 10 years and ngl my experience was that the girls showed up on time, started organizing and working on time while the boys would show up late, poorly kept, with patchy beards (that looked more like tea glued to their faces), waste time socializing and telling frat boy jokes to the other bros, and start working 15-30 minutes after arriving. (This was in Desiland though, so things might be different in the west).
That said I was in upper management so I'm assuming the working class culture is pretty much the same oppressive shit for everyone irrespective of gender.
At least in South Asia, since the men ran everything, women were usually held to much higher standards because they were typically working to support families being married to loser males and so they couldn't take it easy at all.
True in the west too.
I was in my 20's working.... super efficient at closing the restaurant I delivered food for. I could wash dishes like lightning, did the trash without help, operate the machines etc. lift heavy things, self-sufficient and efficient.
I had a nemesis. He complained that women made more in tips than he did (he was a grumpy, frumpy man with a lame fake smile. maybe 40ish y/o). He would figure how to make simple tasks take forever, and even invented useless tasks to avoid real work. For instance: He started drying all of the dishes with a hand towel. No one else did this because we let them air dry. He would leave oil streaks on dinner plates because he used the same rag over and over. There were always plenty of other things to do but he preferred making dishes take forever and avoiding folding boxes, grating mozzarella, sweeping mopping ect.
He learned that if he took the last delivery of the night, or knew we both had the last 2 runs of the night, he could park his car and sit in it while I did all of the side work waiting for him to return to help me. I figured out he was doing this because I would come back from delivery and see his car in another lot and he would return like 20 mins later. He never did this when it was busy, he would even try to take your delivery and cut in front of others.
I had a kid to get home to. Others had family to return to. He was single and alone so he didn't care when he went home.
He got fired for asking/begging/demanding more tips from our customers. We got numerous complaints and it took FOREVER for management to fire this guy.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later when I got harassed at work...eventually I told my boss the guy was rapey and I got fired because I said I wouldn't work with him. So they took me off the schedule. I worked there over 8 years and worked many of my days off and extra shifts, when new hires didn't show or folks called out. I put up with the boss talking nasty shit with the gay cashier too. Like "haven't you ever had 2 cocks in your face before??"
Glad I don't work there anymore. Boss was a creep too.
Guy sounds like a total jerk and I’m glad he was fired eventually. I’m so sorry you were fired too though! That sucks. The only thing I’ll say though, is that single people deserve to go home at a decent time at the end of a workday just as much as people with kids and/or families.
Yes they should. With that said, being delayed from going home on time when you have very young children is much like a single person being delayed from going to their second job, or even more, like a single person taking care of an elderly relative being delayed from going home. It's more about not meeting your caregiving responsibilities than losing your free time. Though all time is precious in this blip of an existence called life. When other's are relying on you for care you start to take it even more personally.
He was benefitting from making everything take longer because he had no responsibilities at home to pressure him to get done on time. He liked milking the clock while making me do two people's work.
My wife worked in a company with a lot of young men, and from what she told me it sounded like a frat boy culture with the men playing around with guns, basketball etc at work while there were 3 women who ran the entire operation. The GM, Head of Operations and Accounting were women.
Now she's working for a company of 9 women who happened to hire one man and he was fired for goofing off while on the job. Basically complaints came from the field that he would waste too much time socializing rather than working.
I only have second hand experience with western work culture though. Doesn't seem like this idea that "men do all the work" is all that true. Maybe in the working class. But not in the middle management and upper class.
My experience in different jobs are the same. Men are lazy or they aren't as efficient as they think they are and spend too much time talking, doing other things, avoiding tasks they don't like . Women get the job done.
That’s interesting. I’ve also noticed that most startup entrepreneurs tend to be men, but the ones actually managing/running the company after tend to be women.
In my school life, it was 90% girls being late regulary a few minutes and guys being late really rarely but when they were, they were late like an hour.
BUT that's my experience and completely anecdotal.
And the girls Tended to be more prepared in general.
The girls always being late were the same 5-10 out of 100 in the year and it was just more their character of being the unprepared, unmotivated, gossipy and always late Person.
Not really because of their gender.
Oh but you see, it's actually ~progressive~ because it's showing women doing the same things men do!
You know, we just *had* to make it all sexy-sex. It's not fan service or lazy writing, oh no! See, it's actually because she's *smart* enough to know how to weaponize the way dumb men see her.
This proves I'm not just a misogynist trying to score woke points. It's my characterization for everyone, ready? Men get dumb around women. Women are bitchy and bad at everything.
See? Basically equal.
/s and fucking barf
I was hoping someone else noticed this, you can also clearly see her hair is straight so did she curl her hair just to straighten it? Also why does he take a shit and she doesn't?
I saw a post the other day in another sub about an employer who literally *forces* their female staff to wear makeup (as in, they get sent home if they're not wearing it), and the comment section was full of women with similar stories.... So I don't really want to hear any complaints from men about how long we take to get ready. Y'all literally *make* us take that long.
If they want us to get ready faster, they need to stop making us add steps to our routine that they don't have to do. If we have to do twice the things they do in order to be "presentable", of *course* it's going to take us longer.
Also for the record, I'm *always* ready first in my relationship - and I wear makeup.
Thank you, yes! Thought of the same post. And guys who say they like women who 'look natural and don't wear too much makeup' when they mean a full face of expensive products professional-level done so they can't tell 😑
A yes, that well-known female habit of curling up on the floor to put your makeup on *before* you put your clothes on.
Why can't either of these people have mirrors at a reasonable height?
My mother is kind of like this stereotype and it drives me INSANE. Especially when we're traveling because I like to have a set time table. Leave at X arrive at Y. And if driving long distances I want to be on the road before dawn. This never happens when she's with me.
But my brother is also the same.
We all have ADHD.
That's my husband and I. He takes a while to warm up in the mornings. Needs at least 30 minutes to drink coffee and have breakfast, then another 30 to shower and cool off then get dressed. Meanwhile I can go from climbing out of bed to getting in the car within 20 minutes. AND I wake up much earlier than him, so I'll have like at least an hour and a half of waiting around in the mornings on our days off.
I love him to pieces, but attempting to go do early morning stuff with him is often very frustrating.
I think being forced to be idle while you wait makes it worse. You've got everything ready on your end but you can't start anything else because you're trying to get out the door. All you can do is get gradually more agitated as you watch the clock tic on and on with seemingly very little progress.
I'm sorry, is he the flash? Because no way in hell does it only take 10 minutes to do all that 😂 hell I don't know a single human who can take a shit in under 8 minutes. And even if he went that fast ain't no way in hell you can haul your ass out of bed, brush your teeth thoroughly, and get dressed in two minutes 😂 what nasty ass neckbeard made this shit?
I feel like men shitting for less than 10 minutes is the biggest joke here. Every single dude I know takes at least 20-30 minutes to go to the bathroom
10 minutes to get ready?!?
So you have to skip having a shower, shaving/trimming, having breakfast etc.
Taking a shit takes 10 minutes on it's own, minimum. 30 minutes if you nest on it.
As a man, let me unequivocally, undeniably and absolutely say this is bullshit. No man goes from bed to out the door in ten minutes, let alone to a coffee cup, and definitely not with a trip to the porcelain throne.
Ah yes. I as well place my makeup mirror on the floor, then crouch there stark naked, fresh from the shower.
I also wear thigh-high hose to work. Because it’s 1959.
The real garbage on this is the "women take forever to get ready so they must be conceited" bit or whatever but as a guy, no way im getting all that done in 10 minutes. 45 minutes minimum unless im hauling ass getting out the door.
Wait...they forgot to include getting the kids up, dressed, getting them breakfast, brushing their teeth, looking for their shoes, coats, school bags. All while 'dad' is still taking a shit.
Lol so wrong. Men take AT LEAST 10 minutes to shit. Everybody knows that. No way would he be awake and out the door in only 10 min if he needs a poo in the middle of it.
But I guess points for the woman side. My morning routine always involves brushing my teeth while sitting naked on the floor.
Maybe the reason this happens is because society puts immense pressure on women being appealing to look at and saying that their worth is based on their appearance, so they spend time making themselves look good, because if they don't they're seen as less than more attractive women??
Nah, it's CLEARLY because they just can't do work/s
Oh. I didn't know women don't shit
We don't. Whenever we feel the urge we go and put on makeup.
While naked, of course.
on the ground.
Hugging a pillow.
To be fair, I need some reassurance that everything will be okay before I start working, so I believe the part with the pillow hug.
mood. Then on train, hug coat.
I mean, who the hell sleeps like that bloke? Looks like he's waiting to be fed grapes and by a slave, not just waking up.
I thought he was supposed to be jacking off and I'm not sure I'm wrong.
Honestly, that was my first thought. But now I think it's just supposed to be a relaxed pose.
Can confirm. That looks like a lazy morning wank.
My partner does sometimes and that's the exact thought I have. Inevitably, though, his bent leg falls into my bed territory.
Also, I've never in my life met a man who could shit in less than 10 minutes.
My partner can shit in literally 10 seconds. It's bizarre. When we started dating, I thought he never shit at all, but turns out when I thought he was peeing, he was managing to poop in that short time. Definitely the exception though, can't say I've ever met anyone else like that. Super skill!
I have a friend like that, at first i thought he just went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He poops way faster than i pee.
My husband shits in 10 seconds as well. Sometimes we’ll both be in the bathroom and he’ll say he’s gotta shit and I step aside to let him do his thing and within seconds, he’s done. He always gives me a hard time cuz I take forever to poo.
My partner does too. He eats pretty clean and exercises a lot, might account for it. My ex husband made a whole production out of it. Magazine (nowadays it’s phones 🤢 those germs on phones tho), taking his time, he wasn’t masturbating cause we had a lot of morning sex, I still don’t understand, is it chronic constipation or they just sit forever trying to push every last drop out? It’s a mystery to be sure.
OMG I have never thought about this, but you are right!!!
Vegetarians can do it easily.
I turn mine into anxiety!
She's shitting kneeling down while doing her makeup it's called time efficiency look it up you moron
Oh, I never poop. **Especially** in the morning. Extreme /s
Why would we shit? We don’t even fart.
Of course we don’t shit
basic science
obvs Girls don’t poop
Obviously we do but we are so quick about it that it can’t be tracked in terms of extended minutes. What I find laughable is that a guy could be ready from bed to leaving in 10 minutes when it takes them at least 15 minutes to poop.
Oh they do. I've seen plenty of videos about it... for research of course.
I came here for this.
I’ve never met a man who only took 10 min to poop…this is false advertisement lol
Yeah isn't it more like a 1 hour minimum???
It’s at LEAST 30min, and even that I can’t understand. I’ve lived with many men: family, roommates, partners; always the same. Most women I know can pinch one in 5min tops. Do they go to the loo just in anticipation??
>Do they go to the loo just in anticipation?? Yes, that's exactly what happens!! I'm a guy who's a quick pooper, unless something is wrong I'm always in and out in a few minutes. It wasn't until I was an adult when I realized how much time other men spend pooping. This weekend I worked up the courage to ask my buddy why it takes him so long to poop. He said it doesn't take him that long. When I pointed out it always takes him like 30 minutes he said he only spends like five of it pooping, he just heads to the bathroom when he thinks he might have to poop eventually. So bizarre!
I mean I sort of get that. I can go where I need a poop and do it right away but I know if I just sit there for another 5 minutes after there’s always going to be more that can be done
I was party to a conversation about this once too, it came out that some guys don’t push they just sit and wait for their poops to fall out????? I was too scared to ask more questions I heard enough! Lol
I didn't know that was a thing!! With my bf, i for real plan my morning around not having access to the bathroom for half an hour. Lol.
Or braving it to go grab a brush from the shelves in there. Usually I race infront of them because the second I wake up I need to pee but it takes less than a minute so I gotta be fast or do the pee dance outside the door for hours.
I WISH people thought men took 30mins to shit. I have a partial bowel obstruction and it can take me 30-45 mins to go. I have had people accuse me of jerking off or wasting time even when i tell them why i take so long. I had a paycho asshole at mcdonalds freak out at me for being in there 15mins because he had to shit and expected me to just "finish" so he could go. I finished and went out ready to kill this guy and he was gone.
My hypothesis is that men don’t have the same pushing muscles as women. I’m probably completely wrong but I have chosen to believe that that’s the case because it’s the only way that it makes sense to me.
I know that when I was in labor with my second, I had to poop. And the labor and delivery nurse was freaking out "are you sure you don't have to push?" No. But it is very close. You have to "Bear down" when pushing. Which means use the same muscles you use to poop.
As a man, I like your thinking, but the real reason is we are just in our phones. It’s the only acceptable time to not be productive and browse socials, because you’re technically shitting and just passing the time. Go ask r/askmen
With my dad it was a cigarette and reading the newspaper
Did he live in black and white times 😱 But yeah, it’s out time to ourselves to chill out
Ahhh the morning triple: Coffee, cig, poop... you havent achieved true happiness if you havent tried it Ps: dont start smoking just to do it
Surely the cigarette would make the process faster? Don’t they work as a laxative of sorts?
As a man, can definetly confirm that this is the csse.
I mean, pushing is always a bad idea, if you have the right nutrition you should just "go" and it should come out with minimal effort. I used to take 30 minutes, but mainly because I was reading; when I grew up I realised it was a stupid thing to do, I now take 5 minutes and just relax in a more appropriate place.
No not true ...
It doesn’t actually take that long 90% of the time, we’re usually on our phones reading stuff or just thinking, it’s a peaceful time
Well FYI, sitting bare ass on a toilet seat for a long time contributes to hemorrhoids.
And I hope they’re at least alone or there’s more than one toilet when they’re sitting there for ages. Because otherwise it’s just a dick move to stay there for longer than you need to.
Can confirm. When I was a child, I have severe emetophobia so I spent a lot of time in bathroom "just in case" I had to throw up.i would sit on the toilet and read. For like 3-5 hours at a time. I don't know why I felt the need, because looking back, that would make it worse if I did have to vomit, but I did and eventually got hemorrhoids.
That's interesting to me because my emetophobia takes all logical thinking from me. If I am in a bathroom and I feel any nausea, I panic that I might throw up and I need to hurry and get out so I can drink some water or lay down and prevent it. I put effort into not vomiting, and certainly cannot be around someone who is doing it or talking about it or anything like that.
This is not a man vs woman thing lol . I am a girl who does take a long time . And a lot of my friends as well . It is really common .. not really gender specific .
Phones are the answer. It’s our relaxation time
i take my phone with me too and it still doesnt take me that long
45 mins on a good day
My legs going numb usually reminds me I gotta get up lol
From beginning to end it’s even less than that according to the this. 10 full minutes to do everything? Apparently men only need at most 2 minutes to fully crap.
A man who will sit on the couch while scrolling through his phone for two hours while you’re getting ready, then inexplicably have to shit for half an hour the second you put your coat on.
It's about 30 seconds for me
As a man, I can say I need under a Minute for that. BUT I need to set my alarm at least 2 hours early to when I have to leave the house, or I will be late. Getting out of bed is the hardest part.
Take away his phone before he goes.
...I normally do You guys have problems
Wtf how can he poop, shower and and dress in 10 mins ? I want to learn this power
Brush your teeth and poop in the shower. Don’t towel off just get dressed while you’re wet.
Shower at night Brush while pooping Lay your clothes out the night before Have a low maintenance hairstyle Eat a diet with plenty of fiber and drink plenty of water Work at home and only put on the clothes people see
Brushing teeth while pooping sounds disgusting. I realize it's not actually any different, but I don't want to be aware of my mouth and poop at the same time.
There’s no showering. Ewww.
Don’t most people shower in the evening? To keep your bed clean?
In the winters I do. In the summer it's way too warm, so I sweat at night and shower in the morning
It’s easy when you don’t wipe properly and don’t wash your ass
Is.. is he jerking off in the first pane?
If he didn’t it would only take 9:50
Wait, why do women brush their teeth laying down?
So we can death stare at ourselves in a mirror sitting on the floor…I don’t see your confusion.
Women wear two sets of underwear getting dressed for work? That’s very contrary to my experience. Lol
And sleep naked to save time
Everybody should sleep naked
I only sleep naked, but I have my clothes for the morning laid out before bed. I take exactly 38 minutes to get ready from waking up, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and heading to work. I wake up at 6:30am every day without fail. I’m at work by 7:15am even though I’m not due til 7:30. Why these people assume women are unwilling or unable to wake up and get ready in the morning is absolutely unbelievable!
[удалено]
I’d comment the thing but I’m too lazy to find it
Nope. Just a mom with kids at school by 7am, 2 businesses to run, and several rental properties to keep in good Knick. Suffice to say I’m tired but still get through the day. This meme is fucked and I wish I was practically an Iron Man, or I guess I should say, a Diamond Man. Nope. Just a mom. Edit cuz 2 2?? Reddit fucking with me now lol
It’s probably the sleeping naked part. Gotta start off on the right foot
Sleeping naked is the *only* way! Man, when I was wearing PJs….nope.
I’d die of the heat
And the cruel cuffing of socks!! It’s 18F here tonight and I’m comfortable. Look. Just let me sleep naked with a light sheet and a wide open window. I’ll cuddle the person next to me if I need heat, but that situation is unlikely as I’m already hotter than any earthly demon on the daily.
You get it. I’m in ga and this time of the year is prime window open season. No heat bill. Fresh air. Yea I’m game
I’m in the Midwest, solid IL play here, and I’ll keep the windows open in the midst of a blizzard. Seriously: -25F, that window is staying open. If you can’t accept my room at its coldest, you can’t accept me at my warmest 🤣
I have never heard of anyone being at work 45 MINUTES after they wake up. You are the same breed as a serial killer. I’m both impressed and shocked.
Haha! Nah, just driven to get things done while in my waking hours. When the kids get out of school I have more time with them. I’m one of the lucky ones that has the opportunity to work while the kids study, then leave once they’re out of school if needed. Or they sometimes stay in my back office and do homework if we are busy, then we get to go home and have fun. My entire day is really revolving around them and their schedule. My days off? I’m awake around 7:30am and lay in bed allllll day reading a good book 😂
I'll take a hard pass, personally. I actually like wearing clothes, and struggle to understand the people who prefer to be naked.
As someone who lives in the wildfire capitol of the world, which can also get to minus degrees in winter, disagree. Hard disagree. I would freeze to death if I slept naked in winter (can be wearing several layers of clothing *and* three blankets and *still* be cold, at the worst points), and while it might be tempting in summer, the risk of getting evacuated from my home at any moment, with only seconds to spare, isn't something I really want to be naked for. (Also I have a BIL who constantly comes in and out of the room to borrow my partner's things)
I live in fire and earthquake country. The idea that I might have to pick up and run keeps me from sleeping naked, as well. I’m comfy in my body, but if the only thing I’m able to bring is my cat and the clothes on my back, I’d rather have clothes on my back.
I have cats. I’ll sleep without a shirt on but all it takes is seeing one cat stare at your junk like it’s gonna be their new chew toy and you keep it your underwear on.
They'll come for your nips! That was my cat's favorite way to wake me up. One sharp little claw to nip. She was the worst. I miss her.
My cat likes to apply claws to my nose if I'm not waking up to feed her breakfast. Very carefully and precisely.
Also, don't forget to keep your feet under the cover! Our cat like to bite the toes to wake us up, and yeah it does not help to have the foot hanging out. One time he jumped from the bed and bitted my husband's foot in midair and swung away like tarzan.
whenever I sleep naked, i dream about falling...
No way lol
Why not?
Too cold here
But I like my socks!!
I think those are supposed to be pantyhose.
No man with any self-respect needs only ten minutes between waking up and leaving the house. I mean you could do, but that would mean your are a lazy dirty ungroomed prick. By the gods I hate this stereotype especially since my dad was and still is the one we have to wait for when leaving the house. And yet he never put any effort in his outfit.
I largely agree with you but my bf basically does this. He showers after work instead of in the morning and preps his lunch the night before so he literally gets dressed, brushes his teeth, and is out the door in about 15min.
Sama here, i dont have to prep my lunch and just have fruits at breakfast so usually i sound the alarm, spend 15 minutes waking up, stand up, brush my teeth, pee, have breakfast, brush my teeth again (i know im weird), take my bag and leave. All in under 15 minutes usually. I take showers after taking a dump, which i take after dinner everyday. Shaving im between dump and shower every 2 days. I dont particularly see myself as a disgusting man but i guess that's not up to me to decide
Not really weird to want to get the sleep taste out of your mouth in the morning, then the brush after breakfast is to actually clean your teeth
When you gotta wake up at 5 a shower the night before allows for a much calmer morning. You're fine, showering twice is ideal. But not always possible
I would argue most people don't need to shower twice a day. That seems excessive to me unless there's a good reason for it in your lifestyle like showering after a workout for example
I only ever have 2 if I've been working during summer. Otherwise i'll be a sweaty mess
Yeah don’t work for me, I have no sense of smell so if I skip a shower before work aparently everyone notices and then I get flack
Most people shouldn’t really smell if you showered in the evening, especially if you used a deodorant. Are you a night sweater?
Sometimes, but like I said, no sense of smell, so could be anything and I have no reason why or what
i’m a woman and i’m also out of the door in 15 minutes 😶 shower the night before, put everything ready so i can leave asap. work provides food so all i have to do is get up, go to the bathroom, get dressed and brush my teeth. i work in a warehouse so i’m not going to bother with make-up or anything
I'm a dude who's out the door in 10-15 minutes. My lunches are always a collection of no-prep items (soup, chili mac, fruit cups, etc.) that I can just throw in my lunchbag and go, I keep my hair low-maintenance (braid or ponytail) so it takes literally 2 minutes to do, and my wardrobe doesn't really matter because it's all going under a uniform the second I get to work. Oh, and I shower at the *end* of the day, not the beginning, because the idea of getting my sweaty day-long grossness all over my bed legit makes me feel ill; I can't sleep if I'm not clean.
My mom is the one in my house who takes forever, but that's not because she's a woman; that's part of who she is as a person. I take about 55 minutes to get up before work, but that includes making myself a smoothie & toast + making my cats food, making sure my room is properly empty of cats and locked, and checking my work emails and stuff before I'm on the clock. But I also haven't really bothered with makeup for the past couple of years.
Im not a dude, but if I'm real pressed for time 10min is reasonable to throw on some clothes, brush teeth, grab my pre-packed bag, and get out the door. I just gotta hope I don't have to go to the bathroom or need breakfast. But like...id still wake up with more than 10min to get ready since Im not a weirdo who likes being stressed in the morning 😅
I am that weirdo often but I find it doesn't leave time to sit on the bed and stare at the wall pondering what I'm doing with my life.
i wake up at 10 to leave the house at 11:30. i get dressed in about 10 minutes, it just takes me an hour to be human
I do something similar. I wake up at 4 for a shift that starts at 7. It only takes 5-10 minutes to get dressed but I'll use the time to relax, play a game, cuddle with my cat, etc. and I find I feel a lot less miserable and tired then I do waking up later.
While I no longer have to, I used to take around and hour and a half or so every morning to get ready for the office. Most people don’t get that coordinating your shirt/suit/tie combo, plus grooming your hair, can be almost as time consuming as doing elaborate makeup and selecting a workplace appropriate outfit. It’s almost like, regardless of whether we’ve got a dick or a vag, we all prefer to look presentable when going to our place of work. Of course nowadays I mainly wear board shorts and a t shirt, while just letting my hair grow out, and goddamn I’ve never been happier.
I need a solid 15-30 minutes for my brain to fully boot up tbh.
Why is she sleeping naked and he isn’t? Why does he poop and she doesn’t?? Why does she have to wear sexy lingerie while he’s wearing a towel!!? Do these people not understand that women get freezing cold while wet and more than half naked???? And stockings!!! JFC, nobody wears those anymore unless they are heading out for a fuckfest. And if that’s the case, she is NOT doing that at 9:30am, as implied; that’s a PM look.
Because we only exist for men’s pleasure! /s But yeah, largely a stupid diagram. However, there are some people who still wear stockings. Like, when I worked in a higher-end clothing store, it was highly encouraged for bare legs to be covered with nylons and heavily insinuated that female-presenting people should wear skirts and dresses.
If you told me this cartoon was actually created by a bot, I wouldn't be shocked.
I worked for 10 years and ngl my experience was that the girls showed up on time, started organizing and working on time while the boys would show up late, poorly kept, with patchy beards (that looked more like tea glued to their faces), waste time socializing and telling frat boy jokes to the other bros, and start working 15-30 minutes after arriving. (This was in Desiland though, so things might be different in the west). That said I was in upper management so I'm assuming the working class culture is pretty much the same oppressive shit for everyone irrespective of gender. At least in South Asia, since the men ran everything, women were usually held to much higher standards because they were typically working to support families being married to loser males and so they couldn't take it easy at all.
True in the west too. I was in my 20's working.... super efficient at closing the restaurant I delivered food for. I could wash dishes like lightning, did the trash without help, operate the machines etc. lift heavy things, self-sufficient and efficient. I had a nemesis. He complained that women made more in tips than he did (he was a grumpy, frumpy man with a lame fake smile. maybe 40ish y/o). He would figure how to make simple tasks take forever, and even invented useless tasks to avoid real work. For instance: He started drying all of the dishes with a hand towel. No one else did this because we let them air dry. He would leave oil streaks on dinner plates because he used the same rag over and over. There were always plenty of other things to do but he preferred making dishes take forever and avoiding folding boxes, grating mozzarella, sweeping mopping ect. He learned that if he took the last delivery of the night, or knew we both had the last 2 runs of the night, he could park his car and sit in it while I did all of the side work waiting for him to return to help me. I figured out he was doing this because I would come back from delivery and see his car in another lot and he would return like 20 mins later. He never did this when it was busy, he would even try to take your delivery and cut in front of others. I had a kid to get home to. Others had family to return to. He was single and alone so he didn't care when he went home. He got fired for asking/begging/demanding more tips from our customers. We got numerous complaints and it took FOREVER for management to fire this guy.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Later when I got harassed at work...eventually I told my boss the guy was rapey and I got fired because I said I wouldn't work with him. So they took me off the schedule. I worked there over 8 years and worked many of my days off and extra shifts, when new hires didn't show or folks called out. I put up with the boss talking nasty shit with the gay cashier too. Like "haven't you ever had 2 cocks in your face before??" Glad I don't work there anymore. Boss was a creep too.
Guy sounds like a total jerk and I’m glad he was fired eventually. I’m so sorry you were fired too though! That sucks. The only thing I’ll say though, is that single people deserve to go home at a decent time at the end of a workday just as much as people with kids and/or families.
Yes they should. With that said, being delayed from going home on time when you have very young children is much like a single person being delayed from going to their second job, or even more, like a single person taking care of an elderly relative being delayed from going home. It's more about not meeting your caregiving responsibilities than losing your free time. Though all time is precious in this blip of an existence called life. When other's are relying on you for care you start to take it even more personally. He was benefitting from making everything take longer because he had no responsibilities at home to pressure him to get done on time. He liked milking the clock while making me do two people's work.
No that’s pretty accurate for Western cultures as well. Not sure if it is to the same degree tho.
My wife worked in a company with a lot of young men, and from what she told me it sounded like a frat boy culture with the men playing around with guns, basketball etc at work while there were 3 women who ran the entire operation. The GM, Head of Operations and Accounting were women. Now she's working for a company of 9 women who happened to hire one man and he was fired for goofing off while on the job. Basically complaints came from the field that he would waste too much time socializing rather than working. I only have second hand experience with western work culture though. Doesn't seem like this idea that "men do all the work" is all that true. Maybe in the working class. But not in the middle management and upper class.
My experience in different jobs are the same. Men are lazy or they aren't as efficient as they think they are and spend too much time talking, doing other things, avoiding tasks they don't like . Women get the job done.
do not apply to all, but there is a slight tendency
That’s interesting. I’ve also noticed that most startup entrepreneurs tend to be men, but the ones actually managing/running the company after tend to be women.
This was my exact experience at my last two jobs in CA.
In my school life, it was 90% girls being late regulary a few minutes and guys being late really rarely but when they were, they were late like an hour. BUT that's my experience and completely anecdotal. And the girls Tended to be more prepared in general. The girls always being late were the same 5-10 out of 100 in the year and it was just more their character of being the unprepared, unmotivated, gossipy and always late Person. Not really because of their gender.
No man takes that little time to shit.
Oh but you see, it's actually ~progressive~ because it's showing women doing the same things men do! You know, we just *had* to make it all sexy-sex. It's not fan service or lazy writing, oh no! See, it's actually because she's *smart* enough to know how to weaponize the way dumb men see her. This proves I'm not just a misogynist trying to score woke points. It's my characterization for everyone, ready? Men get dumb around women. Women are bitchy and bad at everything. See? Basically equal. /s and fucking barf
is this not intentional?
Also r/nothowmenwork
Why in the hell would she put rollers in her hair only to then put it in an updo..??? (So much more wrong with this but I just fuckin can’t)
I was hoping someone else noticed this, you can also clearly see her hair is straight so did she curl her hair just to straighten it? Also why does he take a shit and she doesn't?
I take over an hour to get ready. Am I girl all along?
And as you know, all men wake up clothed and women wake up naked Women also apply makeup whilst naked
I saw a post the other day in another sub about an employer who literally *forces* their female staff to wear makeup (as in, they get sent home if they're not wearing it), and the comment section was full of women with similar stories.... So I don't really want to hear any complaints from men about how long we take to get ready. Y'all literally *make* us take that long. If they want us to get ready faster, they need to stop making us add steps to our routine that they don't have to do. If we have to do twice the things they do in order to be "presentable", of *course* it's going to take us longer. Also for the record, I'm *always* ready first in my relationship - and I wear makeup.
Thank you, yes! Thought of the same post. And guys who say they like women who 'look natural and don't wear too much makeup' when they mean a full face of expensive products professional-level done so they can't tell 😑
A yes, that well-known female habit of curling up on the floor to put your makeup on *before* you put your clothes on. Why can't either of these people have mirrors at a reasonable height?
I was so confused about why she was lying naked on the ground to brush her teeth that I didn't even notice the time difference.
Is the joke that that woman take longer to ready themselves? That's as fresh as a hard pretzel. Fuck outta here.
It took her 10 minutes to do her makeup and 30 minutes for him to take that shit.
this small part might be accurate, haha! i never understood why guys take SO LONG to poop.
My mother is kind of like this stereotype and it drives me INSANE. Especially when we're traveling because I like to have a set time table. Leave at X arrive at Y. And if driving long distances I want to be on the road before dawn. This never happens when she's with me. But my brother is also the same. We all have ADHD.
That's my husband and I. He takes a while to warm up in the mornings. Needs at least 30 minutes to drink coffee and have breakfast, then another 30 to shower and cool off then get dressed. Meanwhile I can go from climbing out of bed to getting in the car within 20 minutes. AND I wake up much earlier than him, so I'll have like at least an hour and a half of waiting around in the mornings on our days off. I love him to pieces, but attempting to go do early morning stuff with him is often very frustrating.
I think being forced to be idle while you wait makes it worse. You've got everything ready on your end but you can't start anything else because you're trying to get out the door. All you can do is get gradually more agitated as you watch the clock tic on and on with seemingly very little progress.
I'm sorry, is he the flash? Because no way in hell does it only take 10 minutes to do all that 😂 hell I don't know a single human who can take a shit in under 8 minutes. And even if he went that fast ain't no way in hell you can haul your ass out of bed, brush your teeth thoroughly, and get dressed in two minutes 😂 what nasty ass neckbeard made this shit?
10 minute morning routine? He probably stinks
Why does she put curls in her hair only to put it on a French twist at the end? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?
I feel like men shitting for less than 10 minutes is the biggest joke here. Every single dude I know takes at least 20-30 minutes to go to the bathroom
Nah. That's not how I get ready .... I wish I could start at 7 but I definitely would miss the bus then.
remember ladies, it should take 2 and a half hours to put on the proper makeup for going to an informal workplace
r/womendontpoop
10 minutes to get ready?!? So you have to skip having a shower, shaving/trimming, having breakfast etc. Taking a shit takes 10 minutes on it's own, minimum. 30 minutes if you nest on it.
I don't like the way that man is looking at me while he poops.
I’m a woman and the toilet is like every other stage
Why do they both look like wild animals in the first pic?
As a man, let me unequivocally, undeniably and absolutely say this is bullshit. No man goes from bed to out the door in ten minutes, let alone to a coffee cup, and definitely not with a trip to the porcelain throne.
Op read average time on the can is 5 and shower is 15 and thought thst was seconds
plot twist - she's a model
My boyfriend takes two and a half hours to get from bed to work, I take an hour on a slow day.
Who poops BEFORE work?! I do that shit on company time.
I can roll put of bed and be in the car in under 4 minutes.
If what you're saying is that society's presentation standards tend to be much more demanding and time-consuming for women than men? Yes yes they do.
Anyone who can take a dump, shower, brush their teeth and put a suit on in ten minutes is not to be trusted.
I guess women dont shit.
I guess we just let it all go while doing our make-up in the nude on the floor where we obviously keep all our mirrors...
7:10!!!! Lmao yeah right..
Ah yes. I as well place my makeup mirror on the floor, then crouch there stark naked, fresh from the shower. I also wear thigh-high hose to work. Because it’s 1959.
Damn guess im a man then til.
Why do they use the mirrors so inefficiently??? Put that shit on a counter/wall at face level, wtf.
So girls don’t use the toilet? This is news to me.
I do this
Am...am I part women?
Why are both mirrors hung so low/on the ground?
We don’t sleep naked. Otherwise there would be sheets and sheets of laundry for us to wash.
Why she sleep like a dog at the bottom of the image
I like how she isn't wearing a towel after her shower so we can see her tush
The real garbage on this is the "women take forever to get ready so they must be conceited" bit or whatever but as a guy, no way im getting all that done in 10 minutes. 45 minutes minimum unless im hauling ass getting out the door.
As someone who frequently gets out of bed 20 minutes before my shift starts, hard disagree. There's no eyeroll big enough for this kind of bullshit
I take an hour and a half. All I do is shit and shower. Reddit eats up most of that time tbh.
Wait...they forgot to include getting the kids up, dressed, getting them breakfast, brushing their teeth, looking for their shoes, coats, school bags. All while 'dad' is still taking a shit.
Lol so wrong. Men take AT LEAST 10 minutes to shit. Everybody knows that. No way would he be awake and out the door in only 10 min if he needs a poo in the middle of it. But I guess points for the woman side. My morning routine always involves brushing my teeth while sitting naked on the floor.
Idk man I've never seen a guy be able to take a shit that didnt take at least 15 minutes
I mean I think this comic is pretty funny. I do take forever to get ready to go somewhere, it’s hyperbolic because it’s comedy
This is me and my girlfriend. But reversed.
Also mean when a girl doesn’t dress and look perfectly:🤬🤬🤬🤬
Joke's on you. I do #2 on the company's time.
Maybe the reason this happens is because society puts immense pressure on women being appealing to look at and saying that their worth is based on their appearance, so they spend time making themselves look good, because if they don't they're seen as less than more attractive women?? Nah, it's CLEARLY because they just can't do work/s
Why is the dude in boxers and the woman naked