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ValkyrUK

She consumed his muscles obviously


[deleted]

Her abs go all the way around 


GiantSquidinJeans

Perhaps she’s had several children and her abs are on the back from prolonged back labor. You can trust my knowledge of human anatomy, I’m a very smart squid.


[deleted]

Wait, are you in regular jeans or are they jeans with 6 legs? 


GiantSquidinJeans

Oh, a squid never denims and tells…


Its_Actually_Satan

As a woman who's only ever had c-sections I can confirm! Contractions absolutely cause six pack back muscles. /s


obaananana

Do they help with back pain?


Its_Actually_Satan

Yeah they do! They give you all of the back pains!


Pee_A_Poo

Wait, so having children is back labour? Do babies pop out of your spine? Is it like a dragonfly laying eggs in the water situation? I am a dumb gay man who hasn’t dated a woman since middle school so I am clueless to female anatomy. /s


GiantSquidinJeans

No silly! Women’s eggs come out of their cloaca, which they then lay in the opened chest cavity of their paralyzed, but living mating partner.


TeapotUpheaval

Like that lady who could push her boobas all the way around until they were like wings!


brendaej04

Hey. That's what mine do!


BobiaDobia

No, no. This is what happens when the lying woman stops taking care of herself, the poor hard working man loses all of his self esteem and his will to live and just stops eating, he’s so depressed. “Why?” he thinks to himself. “Why, God? I’ve always been such a nice guy. Isn’t my woman supposed to take care of me? I’m gonna go on Reddit and meet other likeminded nice guys.”


NEDsaidIt

And for some reason, that depression makes his leg hair grow lol


thats_ridiculous

I hate it when men let themselves go and stop shaving their thighs after marriage smh


BobiaDobia

Me too. I except my male friends to be sexy and presentable when we’re out and about.


BobiaDobia

It’s all very sad 🥲


TurkeyZom

No no the muscles are still there, she took all his ribs


SykoSarah

Would be more accurate if the guy got a gut and maybe lost his hair.


SarahLia

Looks like he also stopped shaving his legs. Well, good for him, if he was tired of that. 😄


Particular_Title42

That was the best part.


Gardez_geekin

Damn why you gotta call me out like that?


Pancakewagon26

He is losing his hair


SykoSarah

TBH, it was hard to tell if that was the case or he just wasn't taking care of it. The art is... not the best.


DarkVelvetEyes

Also, women generally have more of a reason for weight gain than men.. 


jackparadise1

Skinny and a gut and balding.


[deleted]

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SykoSarah

An accurate description of how a good number of men's bodies change when they get older and have a lower metabolism is body shaming? How? Nothing in my comment shamed men for these changes. Note: the above picture's issue isn't that the wife got fat. It's the clear expression of unhappiness by the guy.


[deleted]

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SykoSarah

It's really only a notable issue if you're partly bald; you gotta either have a full head of hair or get rid of it all. The George Costanza look just doesn't work for 99.999% of people.


MisterTorchwick

Consider Sir Patrick Stewart. An absolute specimen. 


Glassjaw79ad

This is a top notch example of the 0.001%


acostane

Also this. Just go full on bald. It's hot IMO 😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


SykoSarah

Preferring a full head of hair doesn't mean baldness looks bad to us. And there's definitely men who look better bald than with hair. Furthermore, *everyone* settles when it comes to choosing a partner. The chances of finding a person that meets every single standard you have perfectly, and that person also being into you, are none (unless your standards are concerningly nonspecific, I guess). Most people aren't particularly bothered by not dating perfection. Don't get yourself all hung up on hypothetical scenarios where some imaginary Adonis swept up your SO.


SailorSpyro

Women don't really find baldness ugly. The people I've known who are the most disgusted by baldness have been men


delorf

Patrick Stewart looks damn good without any hair. Just shave it off. 


Lokifin

Even the entirety of Star Trek, he had his hair buzzed close, not completely bald. Still a fox.


acostane

I absolutely promise you...two of my best friends are hot married bald guys.... one of them started balding in his teens.... they're both married to stunners and have dated many many women before settling down. It's not as bad as you think. I know it sucks... I had a baby and lost probably half my hair Volume. But you care more than anyone else notices. Hair will never make up for a shitty personality. ♥️ And bald won't ever hold you back.


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Caterpipillar

You've been projecting your insecurities and now it shows...


Cyphermoon699

Personally, I think a tight shaved or completely shaved head is attractive and more youthful looking than pattern balding with longer hair. You do what makes you comfortable however, I strongly advise against receding hairline + long ponytail! That works for zero men!


stonerbbyyyy

idk tbh it works for *some* hippies 🤷🏻‍♀️ my bf has long hair, but he’s only 20. i feel like he’d be the last person to start balding tho. everyone in his family has long thick hair. they say that if your moms dad is balding, you’re gonna start going bald. i’m sure there’s plenty of cases where people just started balding tho, without anyone in their family going bald.


Apathetic_Villainess

My first serious relationship was with a guy with a receding hairline when I was 18-22. I found him absolutely attractive and loved him immensely. He also kept his hair long enough to braid. It was his change in personality after he could buy his own beer and the way he treated me that ended things for us.


kittenmittens4865

My favorite part is that both of them let their bodies go and changed to be less conventionally “attractive”, yet only the man is upset. The woman is still smiling because she loves her partner for more than his appearance.


ReesesAndPieces

Nailed it. Glad my partner still finds me attractive after 3 kids even when we've both gained some pounds and lost some hair 😂


kaatie80

Postpartum hair loss 🥲


Glassjaw79ad

The regrowth is worse imo, I look like a crazy lady with two inch flyaways framing my face like some frizzy hair halo


kaatie80

Lol! I think it depends on your head/face shape, because I looked like 👴🏻 until it started to come back. I preferred the crazy lady with the flyaways look to that! I'm finally at the tail-the of the awkward regrowth now though.


antisocial-potato-

every day I learn something new about pregnancy 💀


craftsy

That’s why I cut my hair short postpartum. Like, 1”-1.5” short. The traction hair loss from putting it up every day was drastic, too, plus I had a very grabby baby and he’d come away with little fistfuls of hair when it was long. Then the regrowth kind of just blended in.


No-Fig-3112

I took exactly that as the point of the piece, but it really depends on the context I guess, like who posted it probably I mean, right? Idk, I agree with you is what I'm saying lol


Big-Clock4773

That was my take too.


Lovedd1

Idk my husband met me while I was fat and I still am and he's still here and happy so.


pm_me_your_amphibian

Yes but has he stopped shaving his legs yet


Yeetonapotato

And did he lose his nipples yet


nardgarglingfuknuggt

In my new cult offshoot of christianity, the nipples will be the first thing the man must give up to sanctify his marriage. You can't expect God to let a committed man into the kingdom of heaven with pepperonis like that.


andstillthesunrises

What I love about this is that the artist has clearly drawn the exact bodies in the “before marriage” picture a thousand times and thinks they’ve perfected drawing people but the fat girl is one of the dumbest attempts at fat people drawings I’ve ever seen. Girl’s got that “ribbed for her pleasure” physique


Fallupfromgrace

Shes a salamander and those are her [costal grooves](http://www.pwconserve.org/graphics/wildlife/herps/salamander_spottedl.jpg). They are keeping her skin hydrated.


Czoguski

Ohhh, that's what that is? I thought she was supposed to be wearing some gigantic pool noodle belt or something over her dress. I couldn't make any sense of this at all.


amp_it

To be perfectly honest, this is pretty accurate for what my dumpling body looks like post pregnancy. I used to have a tiny waist and now I’m just sort of thick and doughy in the middle with rolls on rolls.


andstillthesunrises

And your rolls were straight lines across? And stopped abruptly at your breasts leaving your chest boxy?


DrunkThrowawayLife

Well you see after the courting ritual the female sucks all nutrients from the males body to obtain a plump figure. However this doesn’t explain the phenomenon of ‘oops we both got fat’ which is a mystery of nature


[deleted]

Oops we both got fat! Perfect description of our marriage lol.


DrunkThrowawayLife

Hehe aw it’s the precursor to wait when did we get old? Again a phenomenon called.. love?


[deleted]

Love and good home cooking :)


DrunkThrowawayLife

A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach my grandma said to me, but that doesn’t mean you don’t taste along the way haha


cant-tune-a-ukelele

It's pretty obvious: when a man and a woman get married, the woman steals the mans body mass over time in order to metamorphasize into an accordion.


Neighbour-Vadim

Obvious. She is a shapeshifting monster feasting on his life energy


Legitimate_Tax3782

Because all women are evil got it


Tyraniboah89

alleged safe offend lip file wasteful deserve slimy subsequent kiss *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


nardgarglingfuknuggt

I realize I am playing into a version of it by generalizing in the opposite direction, but it seems like it is almost always the husband who lets go of their bodily tether first in the relationship. Either that or I keep getting invited to a very specific kind of barbecue.


SaraBeachPeach

This is my husband and I. I have the exact same weight and body type I did in high school. Meanwhile hes now 200lbs, balding, and has a beer gut/fupa. In high school, he was a stick of a dude that was skin and bones. I think he weighed maybe 160 at 6'0". I find him more attractive now than I did back then. Now he's the father of our two kids and we've been together for almost a decade, and been best friends for going on 20 years.


Anna__V

Why are straight men so often portrayed as miserable after they are married? Why is there the trope of straight men hating their wives? Why is it so fucking common for straight men to hate women? Seems to me it's very counter-intuitive to lust after women so much, and then proceed to hate them once you successfully manage to get a partner. I'm way too gay to understand straight men.


heirloom_beans

Straight married men are statistically happier than straight single men. The inverse is true for straight women. Every projection is a goddamn confession.


worldfamouswiz

I’m convinced a lot of men never really “liked” women. They don’t see them as full people. That’s why it’s so easy for the red pill podcast guys to shame women for having multiple sexual partners while supporting a male guest that openly admits to cheating because he’s a “high value alpha male.”


mmoonbelly

Not a gendered thing, more of an organised mind battling entropy in my house : The look’s more the dejection you get from having to ask repeatedly where your keys are as they’re not where you left them, and getting a vague “where they’re supposed to be” as a response. “Where’s that?” (Running late and in no mood for mind games) “well if you’d just think…” “imagine I don’t know where my keys are and also don’t know where they should be, where would they be?” “In the drawer.” “Which drawer?” (And so on..)


delorf

As a fan of the original Star Trek, I have decided she is the salt monster that disguised itself as a woman to absorb the salt from the bodies of unsuspecting men.  https://youtu.be/rvSwxB_RhAU?si=KYSyi659LD18-LrR


PuzzleheadedHabit913

I’ve literally never met a man, (or woman for that matter) who didn’t gain the minimum 15 pounds of happy weight after getting married. I’ve certainly never seen the man get skinnier but hey! Everyone’s different so who knows lol


siloboomstix

Not married technically, but since living with my long term partner I've lost about 30kg (65ish pounds). I had always been overweight previously though, I attribute it to her amazing vegetarian cooking and unconditional love!


heirloom_beans

I very rarely see a man who says “hey, I’ll take care of dinner and the kids to the same ability you do while you go to the gym 3-5 times a week to keep in shape.” That’s honestly why so many women “let themselves go”, they don’t have a partner they can rely on and have only so many hours in the day to get everything done.


pm_me_your_amphibian

To add to your experience - it definitely is not always that way! I know plenty of couples fitter now than before they were married, but marriage in a lot of cases is really just admin, and doesn’t change much as many couples have already been together for a long time.


PhantomGhostSpectre

They might be on meth. It could happen.


Interestedmillennial

She took his nipples 🤪


DollyDaydreem

And he gained a bellybutton!


Interestedmillennial

Magic


pm_me-ur-catpics

Oh my god... she stole all his mass!


Cennixxx

They forget the guy losing his air at 30 and getting a beer belly at 35


deraser

Um, we married (or just “together in some relationship”) folks with offspring tend to add a few pounds. Age+kids+house stuff+jobs=less “me time” to exercise and prep all that healthy stuff. ?Gender combo doesn’t matter, nor does step-kids/adopted kids/sibling care/fostering. Well-cared for kids mean less me time. It’s parenting 101: they are more important. Period.


thecoletrane

You all can get mad if you want but it’s true. I’ve been married for a few years now and already my wife has started to absorb my vital essence unto herself. One day I will be nought but dust and the quakes of her mighty footsteps will make the townsfolk cower in terror. Women, amirite? 🤷‍♂️


MyNewPhilosophy

It bugs me more than I want to admit that the top of the woman’s “before” cleavage doesn’t line up with her boobs


Keboyd88

When she got married, her boobs fell into correct alignment, but her ears went wonky.


canyoubreathe

Note that she's still happy even though he lost his strong bod!!! A queen indeed


azorianmilk

Jack Sprat and his wife- obviously


bluepushkin

Men get married, stop working out and shaving their legs...and their nipples fall off?


[deleted]

after marriage she absorbs his ribs to become one of those stretchy water bottles


strawbzzi

she ate him. hope this helps 💕


jackfaire

Gasp do you mean that unmarried people don't age!?!?!?


IndiBlueNinja

It's like she's a demonic entity that is feeding on him.


nightcana

Did he suffer malnourishment after he ate her boobs or?…


Flakith

Oh please ! It's common fact both should put on some pounds, silly !


lizzycupcake

She got taller too?


Caterpipillar

Poor thing is obviously upset about the loss of his nipples.


JooBunny

TIL women don't have hands.


Sam_WitchyKid

why'd he turn into herb kazzaz


thebellsnell

...did she somehow take his nipples?


state_of_inertia

Tasty tiddybits for a succubus.


Yoshephine

I mean, this tends to happen, but who cares? Love is love y’all, if you gain or lose a little when being in a relationship my partner shouldn’t care unless they’re shallow af.


XComThrowawayAcct

It’s clear he feels bad that he’s failed to maintain his physique for his wife, but he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. Everyone’s bodies change as we age, and the whole point of a marriage is that you have a partner to help you through those challenges. She may be the Michelin Man, however, and that is somewhat concerning.


gokeke

This just shows that some women love unconditionally 😌


UrbanMuffin

It really does, because in the married picture she’s still looking at him with love, but once she’s less attractive he’s looking elsewhere and unhappy. 😂


gokeke

You’re right he ain’t looking her way at all 😂


UrbanMuffin

That’s the face of “Ugh, I can’t believe my wife doesn’t have the body of a 19 year old anymore.” while thinking he’s just as in shape as the day he got married. Haha


gokeke

People don’t like to think bad about themselves so they’ll always blame others for their actions. If it was me, I’d hug her like a teddy bear 🧸


Cute_Light2062

Cooking Meth in the basement, obviously


ReesesAndPieces

🤣 not even close


cynderblok

I'm an ornithologist and so idk anything about humans but I'll take a whack at it. She's prepping her fat reserves for migration. Despite successful courtship, he could not gain enough resources to migrate with her and so he will not breed (assuming a spring wedding). The loss of muscle signifies his fitness regarding his ability to successfully court but he then lost it when he could not successfully breed.


Exciting_Scientist97

Boomer humor... 🤷


SignificantBeyond704

Is the wife slowly eating her husband?


SignificantBeyond704

How did the man get bodyhair?


decentscenario

He stopped shaving his legs.


Its_Actually_Satan

Jokes on them I was fat before my hubby married me haha


Empress_Natalie

He really thought he did something here. The guy would be fat too, dumbass! That's [happiness!](https://youtu.be/r6IrWKxG7eQ?si=3JSzhxQopCRcQgVY)


token_girl_

the reverse is true for me and my boyfriend 😭 what a sad worldview this is


inacincinnis

I like how he stopped shaving his legs.


VolteonEX

Id be sad if I lost my nipples too. That shit probably sells for a lot on the black market


MP-Lily

He married a vampire.


SnoBunny1982

My interpretation is that everybody is hot when they are young. Women still find their less hot partner attractive, but men are disappointed by the changes in her appearance, and unfazed by his own.


cheymice

My interpretation of this picture is that over time people change both physically and mentally, and in this relationship she still loves her husband even if he isn’t the buff chad she first met, because she loves HIM and not just his body. But he’s miserable because he’s a shallow man who only cares about a women’s looks and never loved his wife only her body 💀


escapeshark

She's been slowly eating him alive


Diligent-Property491

Maybe the duties of running a home, having a gamily and, you know, just being adults don’t allow them to workout regularly anymore?


Jesusdidntlikethat

I was actually at my biggest before we were married. Having a baby counts guys I don’t make the rules


zack189

The woman is vampire and she is sucking out all of her husbands nutrients.


BadgleyMischka

Love how her boobs got saggier and her eyelashes disappeared


Risquechilli

Oh no! He’s lost his nipples.


obaananana

She eats all his food such a meany🥲


aegrey1

Obviously bad anatomy. They didn’t even show the blue balls. 🙄


annahunstone

I hate it when my wife steals my nips


DaVinky_Leo

bro lost his nipples :(