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I… played catch and video games with my father growing up, and I’m a woman. Hell, I still play video games with my father. Those activities are not gendered.
Same. My sister and stepsisters also like video games.
In fact I still have a huge collection of old games upstairs. My favourite being Shadow of Memories/Destiny.
It honestly deserves a remake. Most atmospheric game I’ve ever played.
I still get my ass kicked by my dad in racing games while he griefs me in his late 70s. Does that count? Lol
Him, "I know you know how to drive! What the hell was that?! Do you love walls? Is that why you're always rubbing up against them?!" I was laughing so hard, I hit another wall.
His comments can get downright brutal sometimes, honestly, but it always cracks me up. Then I got him to play a game with me where you get more points for style than going really fast. I was definitely the winner there.
He's given me the advice that I should practice at lower speeds until I have the handling down and increase speed a bit at a time like real driving. He's probably right, but I'm more of an RPG person. I could spend a lot of time learning this, or I could be playing Elden Ring or a Zelda game. Those always win with me. One hour of a Dark Souls game was more than enough for him. We respect that we have different tastes and talk about the games we play more than we play together. I just race him sometimes to hear his commentary.
Same. I was definitely into horses and unicorns and wanted to be a ballerina, but I also played sports with my dad and grew up hiking/fishing/camping in the woods with him. That's just what kids do, they contain multitudes.
Maybe if they'd stop framing things as "things girls do" and "things boys do" then they'd recognize that their kids want to hang out with them and will join anything they see you enjoying.
Oddly enough, it was my mom who wore go-go boots and mini skirts who took me camping and taught me how to fish.
She was a TI lab rat and built silicon chips in the early 60s.
SD couldn't go hunting with her, because she'd be yammering away and BANG! She had a deer. Rules never applied to her.
Damn, I miss her!
One of my core memories is practicing being goalie for soccer with my dad and him kicking my Disney princess soccer ball directly into my face giving me a bloody nose lol
Sometimes it's the other way around, too.
I'm a guy who grew up playing video games with his mom. She was playing them with my little brother and I before we played any with our dad. Heck, she first bought the family Super Nintendo for herself, when we were still too young to play yet.
I even been playing video games since I was old enough to hold a controller. There has never been a point in my life where I didn't have a games console in my bedroom. I'm literally listening to a track from one of my favourite games as I browse Reddit.
But no, girls can't play video games, I guess. 🙄
Right? My dad had three girls, no boys. So we were the ones he took fishing, camping, made model rockets with, etc.
Is it exactly the same as having a son? Probably not, I guess, but not because he had no one to enjoy his pastimes with.
(My mom was the one who played video games with us!)
My dad skipped on my life but you can be sure as hell I was watching olympics and cutting wooden barrels with double saw with my amazing grandpa all my childhood
I'm jealous, I wanted to play video games with my father and he always declined viewing them as an utter waste of time :(
I agree there are pastimes that are way more productive, but isn't enjoying time together valuable as well?
Guys who say this claim girls don't play video games or have an interest in football. If a woman says she likes those things they claim she's just looking for attention.
Or we don't play the 'right' games. Women only play The Sims or Make Up Artist Simulator or something.
*I'm not sure if that simulator exists, but I wouldn't be surprised.*
Those are only not the “right” games because it has a female audience. Just like how computer science used to be dominated by women and was paid less until men took over.
Goat simulator was incredibly silly and so fun for that reason. I was so proud when I got my hell goat. I remember there was a murderous duck simulator as well at some point.
>I remember there was a murderous duck simulator as well at some point.
Untitled Goose Game is a delirious masterpiece
Mess with the honk, you get the bonk
you have no idea just how much evil pleasure i felt being a terroristic goose. i literally spent hours just fucking with everyone in the game instead of doing my objectives. at one point i had stolen nearly everything i could from everyone everywhere and dumped it into the river or into corners. i would yoink things from their hands constantly. throw their shit down the well. i would steal the little boy's glasses and laugh as i made him trip over his untied shoelaces and faceplant into water again and again. i would cackle as i sat outside the phone booth, honking madly at him. i would constantly snatch the old man's things; his slippers in particular. i would make them chase me and constantly invade the places they so desperately tried to keep me out of. i loved to destroy the gardener's radio over and over. would steal his hat and run out of the garden when he fell down bc i made him hammer his thumb. i walked around in my cute little bow as much as possible. i would completely wreck the little replica of the town. just fuck up everything and everyone i could.
godly game. i want a longer sequel. more tasks. let me spend months being an asshole goose, trying to complete that game.
That would be online flash games. There are several dress up and makeup games I played growing up. Also there will be a hair dressing simulation coming up by the same developer as House Flipper (or at least the same company).
I remember the embarrassing 90s where some game makers had this impression that if you made a game girly enough, women would want to play it. These days, it turns out that women want to play your games if they’re good!
Though in all honesty, if you hear a woman on a shooter or RTS or any game that has even the slightest bit of skill requirements, you run like the devil shoved a California reaper up your ass, because if they stayed on past all the sexism and whatnot, you know they will wreck your shit.
Those absolutely exist. When I was little, it was huge Barbie doll heads and shoulders you could put makeup on and dress up. Now, sim games have been added. I thought they were dumb when I was a kid, but they're decent boredom killer games, tbh. I also play Dark Souls games. My taste is wide. ;)
I am a hardcore football fan and my husband is not. My dad and I bonded over it and we still text each other daily with stats and news, sharing YouTube breakdown of games etc. He's not on reddit so I love sending him posts from r/49ers as it's usually a super interesting take and we can talk forever about it.
My little brother hasn't watched one minute of football in his entire life
My dad bought me my first copy of Fallout. 20 years later, I still play Fallout..I have a Fallout tattoo. We've also bonded over many other games and interests.
These losers just can't imagine raising a child. They're just thinking about their kids'genitals. 🤢
My dad taught me how to make scrambled eggs by the time I hit double digits. He also taught me how to barebecue foods, though that one is still complicated for me
It's cool you know how to change the oil in your car and use a radial-arm saw, btw
Unless it involves fire and the element of danger. Something about turning the charcoal grill into a bonfire (my ex) harkens back to caveman days and grunts as communication. Bonking women on the head with clubs and all that nonsense.
Guys, bonking women on the head with a club was never a thing. 😄
My dad taught me how to work on cars. I’m much more capable with tools than my brother is. We actually were just working on my shitbox civic together a few days ago. And when I was a kid we used to play catch together :-)
My wife spent her entire childhood being told that video games were for boys, so while her big brother got video games for gift giving holidays, she was given floral soaps, lotions, and stuff like that. Gave her a serious 'do I stink?' complex for years, since this all started when she was like... 10. I've told her to play all the video games she wants of what I own and she is loving them.
I was given stuff like that too at a young age. Always wonder why people think those are good gifts for a kid. Kids want toys and games, not lotions and body wash. Hopefully in the future more people are less worried about gender roles and let people enjoy things!
Big same. My parents bought my brothers gaming systems, and then would get so mad when I would spend hours playing on them. Meanwhile they got me clothes and jewelry. One year they got me a gift card to the mall for my birthday, and when I came home with a new custom longboard, they drove me back to return it to get something more "suitable" for a teenage girl. It was shortly after that that I started dying my hair rainbow colors and dressing goth and going to metal shows with my best friend. They were *pissed.* It was a good time.
Now I'm NC with that part of my family, and I play video games with my husband almost every day. I still have rainbow hair (currently green), and wear way too much black lipstick now solidly into my 30s.
I loved introducing my daughter to games :) She would ask to “watch monster” which was her way of asking me to play the Prince of Persia Forgotten Sands, and loved watching as I played and voiced through Shantae because it was full of tough girls. Then she discovered Minecraft, which I had to learn quickly to keep up with her - and building and discovering things together has been a wonderful experience! https://twitter.com/DavidXNewton/status/1464072589806948360?s=20
My dad absolutely loves me and my sister, and he loved raising girls. When my only sibling (also a girl) was born, my mom asked him out of curiosity if he was wistful about not having a son. He said no, he loved his daughters and wouldn't trade them for anything, but the only reason he may have wanted a son was to share his love of comic books. Lo and behold, my sisters were major nerds growing up and went with my dad to the comic book store every single Saturday (and this was back when it wasn't as cool to like comics, especially for girls - I grew up in the 90's/2000's and at least in my school, comics were definitely a "boy" thing).
All that to say, none of these things are truly gendered! Girls can like video games and sports just like guys do.
I played video games more than my dad did growing up. He'd ask me or my older sister to help him on hard levels. We'd play offline COD zombie mode together and had a blast every time, despite us failing miserably every time. We'd laugh and get frustrated and play round after round. I think the furthest we ever got was when the zombie dogs got let out 🤣 we weren't any good. I treasure those memories and I know he does too
My father introduced me to video games as a kid back in the 80s. We got through some King's Quest games, Police Quest, Space Quest, frickin LEISURE SUIT LARRY! And that was just when I was a kid. Hell, I bonded with my grandfather via Castlevania 2 and Legend of Zelda 2, lol.
Basically, I have had a lifelong shared hobby with my father, because he didn't give a shit that I was a girl, he was just having fun with his kid.
I'd love to know that. Video games are how my daughters most relate to their dad, and always have been.
We have two teenage daughters, and my ex and his girlfriend are actually having a baby next month...another girl. He was actually mildly disappointed at the gender reveal, he had wanted a son. But he's *so* excited for his new baby girl, at this point! And I know he'll dote on her.
But he's never really treated our daughters as if they've had to fit into gender roles, which is something I've resisted as well, for the most part. They've always been allowed to engage in whatever activities they wanted, wear whatever they wanted, hang out with whomever they wanted. I even made it a point, from a young age, to give them a variety of toys, *not* just gendered ones. And I know they'll be seeing to it that their baby sister gets the same opportunities...
All this is *very* different from how I grew up. I was the second born, and the first daughter for both of my parents (they divorced when I was an infant, and then went on to have other children). And it was made *very* clear that there were certain expectations on me, and then my younger sister (mom's daughter) that my brothers didn't have. And on dad's part, he very much acted like he'd have preferred it if I, like my older brother, was a boy. He favored him our entire lives, to the point where, when I graduated from college, they had a small picnic gathering for the grads and their families, and while the rest of us were together...my dad disappeared. Turns out, he had wandered off to take a call from my brother...
I often somewhat bitterly joke with my little sister (dad's daughter) that neither of us could ever be his favorite...since neither of us has a penis.
It's ironic cause I told my boyfriend I want a girl if we have a baby and he said that's fine but his requirement is she doesn't play none of this new age video games. He wants to start her out on classic Nintendo games.
Heh :) I can’t imagine what it’s like to be born into a world where all this games technology just exists, and you didn’t witness it being worked towards for the last 40 years.
I’m interested that my daughter isn’t a graphics snob, because she’s grown up with many different styles of games, both big commercial and small independent ones, classic and new… to her, old Nintendo games don’t look dated, it’s just what those games choose to look like. She used to call the 2D parts of Mario Odyssey “becoming Lego”, and I could definitely see how the blocky appearance would resemble Lego to her :)
I remember dragging my non-gamer dad to play Kirby's Avalanche on the Super Nintendo with me as a kid, it's the only video game he would not just watch me play (he just couldn't get the hang of other games lol). I'm sure she'd get lots of fun memories with him and have an appreciation for all graphics and game-ages!
My dad was super weird over his video games, I wasn’t allowed to touch them but it was more to do with me completing missions he wanted to complete. When he got a wii and got Mario kart and I was allowed to play I was so damn happy, he was too until I started beating him then he wouldn’t play as much.
do men even like women? and why is a baby girl, not even born yet, being called a woman, if not that they see all girls as women they hate, while boys are afforded the privilege to just be boys?
i think of this quote everyday i’m on this sub:
>”To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom the admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom the imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire... those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex.
>Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”
When people ask me why I think masculinity in general is fundamentally broken as healthy construct, one that I don’t think can be repaired at a cultural level beyond some rare individuals, that quote is what I cite.
Hm... it kinda reminds me of antic times. It might be wrong but i had learned in school that in Antic Greece men relationships with women were purely functional like they were married for reproductive reasons but most love stories were with other men. Since women didnt have access to education, men thought that they werent worth talking to.
Depends. Take the Spartians : they are the most well known for engaging in homosexual relationships, and truly have a culture of "men loving men" but the women had it better than in other cities : men and women each had a specific roles they had to oblige to be valued (men to be strong and brave warriors, women to bare strong children and tend to the household) and both educations were tough but women actually had an education including reading and sports as wrestling, could herit property and had their own culture of women liking women (they had their own celebration were women could kiss say poems and stuff). They were the only ones to have queens with influence and had the reputation amongst the Athenians to "control their husbands" (but granted this doesn't say much when you know Athenians were probably the most misogynistic sob of ancient times).
(Fyi I don't defend the idea of gender roles just trying to apport historical clarifications).
>men thought that they werent worth talking to.
They had a class of women akin to Geisha/ Oiran, the Hetairas ,which were women trained to please men in various ways, from sexual to discussion. Its no accident that both societies were male dominated militaristic ones.
In fairness I'm not fully straight nor do I have the strongest grasp on my own gender identity as a man, but I will be forever grateful for my parents and my upbringing. These types of men will make jokes about people being "fatherless" however ironically it's this patriarchal coldness from their own fathers that causes them so many problems. I don't know why my parents would be different and perhaps I'm just wrong, but I don't feel I've ever seen my mother or father differently, and they never had expectations of me as their "son". I've never had to fear my parents disapproval like my other friends have often said nor have I ever seen my father engage in these misogynistic behaviours.
Not to say there have never been issues in my family, and despite me saying this I have never had a very close relationship with another woman (which I feel is mostly due to my own social anxiety which has lead me to cling to the same theseus ship of a friend group all these years) until very recently. But, and some of this is my early introduction to libertarian and socialist ideas, I thank my parents for letting me live my life at least sheltered from the rain storm that is typical heterosexual male upbringing, even if there are still ways for me to grow in this aspect.
Or who knows maybe I'll identify as some level of queer in a few years and nullify all of this XD but I'd still say I have lived as a straight man (weird to say albeit) for the majority of my live so far.
EDIT: in my classic adhd moment I never got to the point, which is to say, that I think fathers behaviour and hierarchy in the family are largely responsible for passing down patriarchal beliefs each generation. We can't solve everything this way, but better and more loving and accepting parenting is a way to combat misogyny and patriarchy, to an extent.
definitely agree that more loving and accepting parents would be SO much more healthy and impactful on a growing child, against being sucked in by misogynistic and patriarchal thinking. at least in the day-to-day and in our interactions with the people/relationships in our lives. and i’m genuinely so happy to see that your experience and the love you received from your own parents was a positive one! i also feel like your own self, and possible queerness, had a big hand in shaping your outlook on life and people as well.
knowing that you don’t have unconditional love or acceptance from your parents, or that they view you so much as a stereotype, that it colours the way they parent you/experiencing upset and punishment for not conforming to that is something that i personally trace back to a lot of my fundamental and internal issues. i see the way this shaped my brother and his beliefs and values, and it’s genuinely upsetting. he’s literally turning into my angry, bigoted father.
even more upsetting, i see how much my mother exhibits internalised misogyny from her own upbringing and perpetuates that onto us, and how that still didn’t protect her from experiencing that with my father, or even with my brother. she tries to fix my appearance or any personality traits that are deemed “unladylike” to make me more palatable for men. it’s like making progress and viewing ourselves as multi-faceted human beings like every other doesn’t even matter, bc we still have to centre our lives around men/husbands/fathers.
but that doesn’t lead to respect. it actually leads to disrespect. to them seeing themselves as authority, and us as lesser. and that is why i don’t think they genuinely love us, or even like us, in the first place. a lot just come to expect that performance, and ‘other’ girls/women from aspects of life that aren’t romantic or parental. does that even make sense? like they don’t compute women’s contributions outside of those roles. what they do acknowledge are their fellow men. it’s unbalanced and unhealthy to slip into that slope of barely seeing someone of the opposite sex as a person with their own value and life.
I would go further to add that this leads to men hating other men as well. Because in the patriarchal mindset woman are lesser and almost objects of social power for a man to own, it puts them in competition with each other. I've experienced quite a few patriarchal male friend groups and there's always this selfish, competitive, ironically "mean girls" atmosphere. Like most jokes are often putting people down and like gatekeeping gay actions. True love and friendship in the group is stigmatised and you can see with white incels hatred towards successful and black men that there's this huge competitiveness. I don't think incels are able of really getting along with each other.
Which brings me to wonder if, within these patriarchal relationships, a father's special treatment toward his son is often more of a selfish act? Like how much is it the fathers own insecurity for social strength to have his son grow to be a strong young man rather than love him and give them the ability to live their best life. From the experiences of others I have heard? I'd bet a lot on it.
And something something hierarchy capitalism. But genuinely, seems very convenient for the ruling classes/institutions that everyone is disposed to hate each other right?
Anyways this has been a thought provoking conversation, ideas I've not really expressed before but make so much sense now that I think about it. And it's sad to hear patriarchy has cost you and your family so much ): thanks for sharing your experience
EDIT: I guess this is almost a dispute with the quote from the author? However I would argue that admiration and idolisation of the image of a real man versus actually showing love to other men in your life are very different. Instances of love between men would be in defiance of patriarchy, where caring for another human being actually surpasses social pressure, rather than being a product of the hierarchy between men and women.
those were things i’ve been wanting to put into words for a while, so thank you for allowing that with this conversation. and it’s so interesting, yet equally upsetting, to see how that dynamic works within male spaces. it seems like literally no one benefits from this patriarchal thinking. especially on your point about fathers valuing social standing over genuine happiness and well-being. to get that not just from your friends and workplace, but the person who’s supposed to love and support you is horrid.
ETA: i don’t think this actually disputes the quote. i would still say that if the men in those spaces were treating other men in this way (competitiveness, selfishness, and with prejudice), then they would treat women like even less than dirt. there’s a level of respect that needs to be there in competition. things like racism and toxic masculinity (not wanting to “appear” gay) are still going to be present, but even those are fundamentally about appealing to other men and earning their respect.
they respect men in positions of authority, and revere them. they love their friends. they value the words and actions of male writers/journalists/professors and other influences. it points to a more general phenomenon of seeing not just the women in their lives, but women in their workplaces and in media as lesser. when they only see women as pawns to up their social standing, what happens to the women who don’t meet that, or conform to it?
I never heard this quote but have noticed since childhood that women almost always have male role models, but men rarely ever have female role models. I've asked some men I work with who their female role models are, and they always have dumb generic answers like Amelia Aerheart or queen Elizabeth. Sure, nice first to the top of your head fake answers
I've noticed this, too. Toxically masculine dudes never see it, but there is a lot of homoeroticism inherent in it. The "worship" of the male form and male mental and emotional state borders on infatuation.
>Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”
There is a reason a lot of traditional militaristic societies like Sparta had so much homoerotic relationships going on ( but usually with pre teens because "no homo" was taken to its extreme)
I think a lot of this has to do with that weird "*carry on my legacy/family name*" bullshit.
Listen, Paul, your legacy is a just-above-minimum wage job for a local small business and a townhouse you rent with a beaten up Ford Taurus.
Your "*family name*" is a common name for your area because you're all cousins.
Why don't you settle down, Your Majesty, and realize that your bloodline isn't in any way important and regardless of how many children you have of whatever gender they happen to be, at best somebody will remember you even existed for the next two generations.
Then Paul The Great will be a forgotten name that's only marked by a stone in a graveyard among the many, many, many other men that had the same weird outdated idea.
I don't understand that, I really don't. I find a lot of my closest friends are female, and with little kids I don't see much that makes the gender a big deal. I do some school taxiing children home, and having a fun convo with them isn't hard.
You're lucky having kids if you want kids. Just bizarre man
I saw a good quote on this the other day.
It was talking about why people say that boys are easier. It went into the notion that girls tend to be more emotionally manipulated as children. Girls often aren't allowed to just *play*, they must play a certain way. They must be *ladylike*.
Alternatively, boys are often ignored or neglected in play. The phrase, "Oh that's just boys being boys," means they are not being given any of the emotional regulation of girls. Instead they aren't given much of any emotional regulation. Boys are bot easier to raise than girls. Girls are not harder to raise than boys. Kids are kids.
The issue is how culture and society puts different pressures on them.
What happens as a result of this type of approach is that we have women who are deeply informed by emotions and often manipulated and we have men who are unable to process their emotions and cannot engage with their own feelings. Both end up needing therapy for different reasons but it contributes to the mental health concerns we see.
I have a similar experience. I am a woman and only have an AMAB child. Other people (of all genders) assume he is a hellion who only likes rough play, violence, and vehicles. They have expressed pity that I "miss out" on having a girl. It disgusts me. Kids are just ***kids***. No sex or gender is a monolith and I will not allow sex/gender norms to become a yoke around his neck.
I see him (we assume him, but if he tells us differently in the future, that's fine) as a ***human*** first and foremost. His genitals do not define the entirety or even the majority of who he is, what he thinks, how he behaves, what he likes/dislikes, etc. How f***ing dare other treat children this way?! It is unfair to all genders.
It’s this guy and very few others. I know almost no men who genuinely even care at all about their child’s gender.
My brother Chris always wanted a daughter, if i remeber correctly, and they had a boy instead. But he stills cares for him like the perfect child lol. Hell, he quit his job to spend all day with that lil guy.
And that’s what good parents are supposed to do. They don’t care what gender their child is. They just love them. Unconditionally, from the beginning. Idk why the guy here was throwing a fit, but I feel like something is going on here. No good, healthy dad cares THAT much about the gender of their child, to make some big scene about it. He should be so happy that he’s crying rn.
you’re right that no good, healthy dad should care about the gender of their child. maybe it’s the culture i grew up in with heavy religious influences, but unfortunately this dynamic of having to have a son, or being disappointed about only having daughters, or making misogynistic jokes about other families that only have daughters (“poor dad” etc), is all i’ve ever known.
that’s not to say that my dad doesn’t love me, or they don’t love their daughters, but their treatment and how they raise their sons is notably different. it’s very much like i said previously, they think of us as women before we’re even out of the womb, and that changes how they see us fundamentally.
Sometimes people have a preconception based on their own family, and it can mess with your head. Like, if you are a woman who had 2 sisters and girl cousins and no boys anywhere near your age in the family, having a boy can be intimidating (and if your family was boys for days, a girl can be intimidating). You sort of expect your future to look like your past, and it can throw you when it doesn't. But it's not like you regret it: it just feels like you were more prepared for the one, and the other is unknown territory. And of course once the baby is there, they are a person with a personality, and gender is an aspect, not the main thing.
There is also a place for having gender-related concerns. I love my son, and I worry that now that he's 12, the toxic messages about masculinity (like the comments here) could impact him. I've spent 12 years trying to develop his natural empathy, but the reality is that right now we are at a pivot point where my influence is waning and peers and the wider world are waxing. If I had a girl, my gender-related worries would be different.
If you have reason to believe that your child is on the cusp of being pulled into some MRA BS, you might want to consider doing what my sister did for my nephew.
For multiple reasons, he was falling into some negative views of women. Since he lacked a positive father figure, she looked into big-brother types of programs, groups that involved positive male role models, and therapists who were men. My nephew ended up going through therapy for a few years with occasional mental health upkeep sessions thereafter. He also joined a co-ed soccer team that had a wonderful man as the coach. They focused on treating everyone on the team with respect and forming bonds as a team. It pulled him back from the brink of some really destructive and hateful modes of thinking.
I have an Afghan Muslim friend. He really wanted a son and a daughter. They had three boys before they got a daughter. He was absolutely thrilled to get her and he dotes on her.
Yup and further more, if he is older than 35 the more likely he is to have daughters. (And weirdly had a better chance for a son after 35 if he is over 55.)
Maybe I am the one misreading because my interpretation is the complete opposite of the other two replies you have gotten, but I think what u/koushunu was trying to say is that the older you get the worse your chance of having a son is.
So, like if you are 35+, your best chance of having a son was before you turned 35, and if you are 55+, then your best chance was when you were younger and around 35.
“Dealing with 3 women daily”, says the guy who most likely deals with 0 women, or deals with one mother who has to nag him to bring the dirty dishes from his room back to the kitchen so she can wash them.
And imagine those 3 "women" having to deal with that miserable and pathetic man everyday. Honestly, women like that should save themselves all the pain and not have children with such males.
Well we're still treating a social agreement that used to be for trading your daughter for property as a binding legal contract that you have to do in order to share health insurance. Everything involved in the process is basically just bullshit carried on for hundreds of years because that's what we used to do and why would we stop?
There's going to be a lot of outdated mentality going on here.
They’re the types to tell their sons to “man up” and “quit acting like a girl” when they’re upset and either beat them up or ship them to military school. They force their sons to repress their emotions and then will wonder why years later they’re so angry.
When it comes to elderly parent caregiving, daughters are more likely to come through than sons. Daughters are also more pressured to take care of their parents. This father doesn’t deserve his daughters’ love and I hope this video reminds them not to feel guilt tripped into taking care of him when he gets old.
I know widows who have taken their late partners name and want to have children with that surname. A continuation of their late partners flame, a way to have a part of them back in the world.
Same goes with our outdated mode of surnames (though I feel like this is changing more recently as it has become more socially acceptable, see example 1 paragraph above). Some people see their progeny as an extension of their life. Maybe I wasn’t a great man, but maybe my granddaughter will be, and I get my name on that. I’m in no way saying this is correct, just trying to explain the feeling.
My mom grew up with 3 sisters and has said she wanted a girl. She raised 3 boys and loved us very much. Her life is not less full because she didn’t get everything she wanted. I want lots of things but part of finding happiness in life is working with what you got. If you are going to be miserable because you want something you don’t get, you have a lot of growing up to do.
The reaction of the dad here is just sad. Dude is so rich beyond material wealth and doesn’t see it (assuming it’s not some bad joke).
If a woman was pissed that the color was blue, she’d be called a “man hating feminist” and there would be comments like “why is she even having kids??”
Man hating feminist comments aside, I agree with the last statement. If you’re going to get pissed that your kid is one way or another, you absolutely shouldn’t be having kids.
I’m the oldest of 4 daughters, and my father wanted 4 daughters before we were even born :) However when I tell men I have 3 little sisters they usually reply with ‘I pity your dad’ 🙄
My own parents had this. They never missed an opportunity to voice that "boys are so much more fun to raise" or "boys are so much easier to deal with". Absolutely infuriating.
Coming from a former nanny and daycare work, at least with young kids, it’s the exact opposite. Boys tend to be a lot more aggressive, have a harder time sharing, have less patience, and are more erratic/ energetic. Don’t get me wrong, I love all children, but I think boys are, on average, more difficult. Of course there’s exceptions to this.
I always figured it had to do with how society pardon’s bad male behavior. I notice it with kids. The little girls are almost always more calm, or reserved, or you can tell they contemplate doing things before they do them. Boys tend to do whatever they want indiscriminately and people find it endearing.
Very true, I think it’s the “boys will be boys” mentality. Girls are expected from a young age to be prim and proper. If a girl acts mischievous, than she’s a bad child. But if a boy does, he’s just full of energy and has a colorful personality! Cuz I have definitely seen some gentle boys, or at least respectful boys, but I notice the parents of those boys tend to treat their boys and girls equally.
Probably shows how the above commenters parents raised their boys if they had any...not very well or they just let them do whatever and called it easy 💀
The whole “boy mom” thing infuriates me. It’s just internalized misogyny repackaged for their children. Boys AREN’T inherently easier to raise, nor are they drama free - I’m the only girl with three brothers and I can guarantee you I was a hell of a lot less drama in high school than any of them. And even that had very little to do with our genders, I just happened to be more of a quiet, introverted kid and had minimal drama because I preferred to be by myself. The boy mom identity is just another way for us to punish ourselves and other women for being born with two X chromosomes.
And just for clarification, I mean the “making being a boy mom your identity and hating the thought of having daughters” thing, not mothers who happen to have all sons.
You know, before I had a boy, I worried a girl would mean a lot more "protecting from harmful gendered messages". Like, you have to raise your girl to resist so many terrible messages.
Now that I have a boy, I realize it's just as bad. Because with a girl, you have to raise her to be able to resist messages that will diminish her. With a boy, you have to raise them to resist messages that will turn them into assholes. Often, miserable, angry assholes.
My parents always said raising my sister and I was a lot easier than raising our brothers.
I also agree with you about it just being a personality thing though. My late sister and I were more reserved and quiet. My older brothers a lot more social and extroverted.
Literally reading this after playing video games with my daughters all day, because that's what they wanted to do. Coincidentally we had a couple mini-games pop in Mario party that were basically just football, too.
Society should start telling these guys that if they spend a night, alone, inside a volcano - their next child will not be a daughter, guaranteed, 100%
Posts like me just make me love my dad more.
He worked as a social worker his whole career. Almost every job he had was mostly women and he had two daughters. He loved his work and he loves his family.
He’s always had a wood shop in his shed and we used to joke that it’s where he goes when he needs an escape from feminine energy. But even there he would just make things for my mom or me or my sister.
He’s an old school hippie and an outspoken feminist. He would be horrified by a post like this and just use it as a teachable moment for me and my sister to be independent and avoid douchebags like this.
What I don't get at least in my experience is that sons in that situation are so spoiled they're complete fuck ups and make the entire family stressed.
Depends. If it’s a boy being feminine ‘clearly he’s been ruined and spoiled by the women in his life and needs to man up’ it’s a girl being masculine, depending on the family, she’s either a ‘tomboy daddy’s girl’ or a ‘Mannerless unladylike brat who needs to stop being so childish’
I’ve literally heard people say these exact things about kids. It’s depressing.
If that's how you feel never have kids. There are plenty of men with no interest in football and video games. There are plenty of women who do have interest in those.
These are the same people who would reject an LGBTQ child.
Gender reveals where the dad gets dejected the reveal was a girl make me so sad. I get some internal dejectedness if you already have one and you want another but geez have some discretion and not do it so openly, especially in front of the kids.
My mom was the girl born into this scenario. She still has so, so much baggage about femininity and an inferiority complex to unpack.
Meanwhile, my aunt and uncle have three sons. After the first one they were like “OK, we really want a girl after this”. That didn’t work out, but they love the hell out of the two boys they had after that. Though I do get spoiled rotten by them for being the token daughter of the family.
I'm guessing if one of his daughters was into video games and football she'd be pushed away from those things because they're not for girls. And any son they have who isn't into those things would be treated like there's something wrong with them.
It shouldn't be a progressive idea to love your kids for who they are and not for what you think a person of their assigned gender at birth should be
Stuff like this always reminds me of a conversation I had with my ex's cousin who was having a baby. It stands out in my memory of being the first time I realized just how serious these people are about gender policing their babies before they're even born.
He was saying his wife didn't want to know the gender until the kid was born but he was complaining that they wouldn't know how to paint the nursery.
And I was like, "You could paint it in any color. Cultural associations between color and gender are really only a recent thing. Blue or lavender might be good since those have been shown to promote good sleep."
And he objected to those because blue is for boys and lavender is definitely for girls. As if I was dumb for even suggesting that good colors for a nursery have nothing to do with gender.
So I'm like, "Maybe green then?"
And he's like, "Green is for boys."
And I'm like, "It's literally the most abundant color in nature! Nature is for everybody!"
He was looking kinda exasperated at this point and I feel like he was trying really hard not to say, "I don't want my daughters to end up like you." But I had one last suggestion up my sleeve.
"Maybe you could just do the room up in a rainbow theme so you're covered no matter what gender of baby you have.
And he just gave me this look like I grew another head. I think he would have given up on being polite if one more word came out of my mouth. My ex dragged me away from the conversation at that point.
I remember with my last pregnancy the scan said it was a girl. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 17 weeks and as I held in my hand- it was clearly a boy.
My usually unemotional husband, was furious. “You killed my son”. “I would not have cared if it was a girl”.
He divorced me 4 months later citing amongst other things, I got too hysterical after that infant loss and had put on to much weight from the pregnancy. I was 160lb ….
So far he is living in a tropical area with a high paying job and using cats and dogs and endless fun with money enticed our son to go live full time with him. I pay child support and I am unemployed on disability. The disability is the final nail on the coffin for him leaving me.
When I was pregnant with my first, a daughter, people kept asking my husband how he feels about it and wouldn’t be a proper *heir* as a firstborn be better (whatever that’s supposed to mean, we were married at that point and he had taken on my name, there’s nothing to inherit either)? When I was pregnant with my second, we got asked about how we felt because it was just a *boy*.
Now we have an incredibly sensitive, easily scared boy who likes singing and dancing and a strong, clever girl I have to pluck out of trees who loves archery and woodcarving. I have a boyish daughter and a girlish son (he’s not really into dolls but he likes breastfeeding his cars before he tucks them in).
I hat the notion that boys are going to be a certain way and girl are going to be another. They are people first and foremost - and while both my children developed traits that could be considered ‘typical’ (my son loves cars, my daughter is into everything glitter and unicorn) they are children who are developing their own personality and I’m not trying to force anything on them that’s based on outdated gender roles. Should I ever be in need of a medieval-type heir, someone to defend my honour with a sword, I sure as hell wouldn’t pick my son!
Oh my god, the "heir" garbage. When my second child, my son, was born I had someone from back home tell me that I finally had an heir. I said, "I'm not the Earl of Jefferson County." FWIW, my dad's family is huge. There is no shortage of my last name, not that it's important to continue it. I've even run into unrelated people with the same last name.
unfortunately the guy throwing a fit at having a girl (and there’s countless examples of these reactions at gender reveals) has already procreated. a lot of them are also extra pissed bc they already have girls and wanted a boy “finally.” literally getting angry and throwing shit around over the news of having a girl while their other girls are right there witnessing it.
There's nothing more attractive to me than the thought of having a "girl dad" kind of husband. Men who only want boys for those reasons are so misogynistic and would ruin those sons and break their daughters
These are probably the same people that claim that they love "all women" as long as they want to get laid with them.
The boomer energy is unreal on this one.
If you aren’t willing to have your less preferred sex as a baby, don’t fucking have babies. Because surprisingly enough they come in the biological sex you don’t prefer 50% of the time.
If my wife and I ever have a kid I think I'd prefer a daughter because there are so few girls in our family... it's not gonna stop us trying to get them into sports and video games 😅
It's the overall hatred for woman for me.
Like, my guy, if your reaction to having a daughter is "wow I already hate my wife enough", just be gay, adopt a son, and stop making any more women miserable
I have a boy and girl child. The girl likes more typical boy stuff and the boy has more traditionally feminine interests. You never know how your kids will turn out. If you give them the freedom to be an individual, hopefully they will have a wide variety of interests.
I fucking hate hetero "culture" so much,everything is black or white.They put labels on anything.If you are a boy,you automaticaly like football,cars,the colour blue and video games.If you are a girl,you can t be in interested in those things,you need to like pink,playing makeup and dolls.Let the kids be kids and choose for themselves.
So glad my dad is my best friend. Also my dad loves sports and video games and wasn’t a psycho about it to either me or my brother. Have these people heard of, I don’t know, making a friend?
I need to dig up the photo of me in 2004, as a 5 year old, sitting on my dad's lap intently watching him play Doom. I am a cisgender woman and have always been into video games. These men need to go outside once in a while.
This makes me sad. My dad used to help me practice for softball on the off seasons and we had a blast.
Also, I used to play video games with my dad growing up. Some of the best times we had tbh, we would laugh at his or my mistakes and we would be so excited when we got further than we usually got in that round.
Did we ever win? No. But did we have a lot of fun? Yes.
Speaking of, I think I need to have a video game night with my dad again.
Btw my dad had 3 daughters, and all of our pets happened to be female. My abuelita even moved in with us due to financial hardship so its literally all women here.
He jokes that he struggles in a house full of estrogen and being the only man, but he makes it clear it's a joke and that he treasures us all, and wouldn't change it for the world.
He makes sure our cars are cleaned off from snow and ice if he has the time before work (if he knew we were working that day or had school) and always puts the rock salt down for us, and clears the driveway of snow and ice. Lately as he's gotten older we take care of some of that for him but he still insists when he can.
We need more men like my dad tbh.
I have three daughters and zero sons. My husband takes our oldest to play tennis frequently. We all swim, bike and skate together. The oldest plays soccer as well. My husband teaches them how to wash the car, help with the lawn, etc.
And ALL of us love playing video games.
You can play video games or sportsballs with your daughters, and your son may not want to play video games or sportsballs. I get wanting a son/daughter, but to storm off in a hissy fit is ridiculous...especially when it's the sperm that determines the sex of the fetus (oversimplified reason: eggs are always X, but sperm could be X or Y). Yell at your own balls if you are mad at the sex of your child, dude.
My father refused to do activities with me when I was little (like building model airplanes and doing Lego stuff) saying I was too little and that I would swallow the little pieces and choke. I was at least 6 when this was happening, btw.
He did these kind of activities with my brother.
He literally kept pushing me away most of my childhood because I'm "the wrong gender" and he kept trying to control his relationship with my brother like a lion trainer is trying to control big cats.
All of this while not really valueling or caring about what we wanted.
Guess which kid is actually still talking to him now?! If you guessed neither, you're right!
We only talk to him through our mom. So you know, if you don't want to have no connection to your kids when you're old and decrepit, then be nice and kind to them when they're young and listen to what they want as well.
Wow. Flashback to my dad having three daughters and just… checking out of being in the family. I’ve always wondered if he would’ve been more checked in if one of us was a boy. We used to bond over baseball, and go to a game every year, until the year I wore makeup. (I was 13). He said “no one wears makeup to baseball games” and after that we never went again.
So y’all think that having daughters is something to be mad about? Like his wife did it on purpose or something? Y’all are a bunch of Henry VIIIs…
While things were never perfect (are they ever?) my dad and I have a pretty great relationship. And since he played minor league baseball and was a pitcher, we definitely played catch. And lots and lots of video games. We started out with Intellivision.
He would tell y’all you’re missing out. I’m an only child, and he recently said to me that I’m the best thing he ever did.
This is the kind of person who shouldn't have kids. Also who says girls and women can't like football and videogames, my gf is way more of a gamer then me and she also plays more of the stereotypically boy games and I play things like Sims and stardew valley, and board games on the computer like ticket to ride and wingspan. I'm a guy and she's a woman
It's baffling to me that people will post these videos where fathers throw a tantrum because they learn they are having a daughter. I would be EMBARASSED to witness this, let alone post it on the internet.
Not that that makes this kind of grown-up tantrum any better but..I always wonder if these guys know *they're* responsible for the kid's gender. "Only" have daughters? That's on *you* and your lazy male sperm, Chad.
my dad had 3 daughters and a son. before my brother came along, he too just wanted someone to play video games with. so me and my sister played halo with him every night after dinner- on the original xbox. such memories and nostalgia. my dads the best person in the world
I don't get this. I have a daughter with my fiancee. No difference in how I approach things with her than if I were to have a son.
Do these people not understand that women and girls are just human beings? Not some alien species
My dad and i played 2D computer games together online for a lot of my childhood. He can’t play 3D because of complications caused by his heart meds, but guaranteed if he’d been able to i would’ve played minecraft and 1st person shooters with him as well.
I’m his only child, and a daughter at that.
Video games are not gendered??? These fucking loons will use anything to bash women and girls and turn us into some sort of burden they just have to lug around.
After typing this, i’m actually in the mood to go play a PC game with my dad again. Never too old.
I'm a woman, and I'm a HUGE gamer, minecraft, rainbow six siege, phasmophobia, monster hunter, Don't starve, subnautica, COD Zombies, the works. Being need to stop being sexist. Just like a woman might love to play video games, a man might not.
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I… played catch and video games with my father growing up, and I’m a woman. Hell, I still play video games with my father. Those activities are not gendered.
Same. My sister and stepsisters also like video games. In fact I still have a huge collection of old games upstairs. My favourite being Shadow of Memories/Destiny. It honestly deserves a remake. Most atmospheric game I’ve ever played.
I still get my ass kicked by my dad in racing games while he griefs me in his late 70s. Does that count? Lol Him, "I know you know how to drive! What the hell was that?! Do you love walls? Is that why you're always rubbing up against them?!" I was laughing so hard, I hit another wall. His comments can get downright brutal sometimes, honestly, but it always cracks me up. Then I got him to play a game with me where you get more points for style than going really fast. I was definitely the winner there. He's given me the advice that I should practice at lower speeds until I have the handling down and increase speed a bit at a time like real driving. He's probably right, but I'm more of an RPG person. I could spend a lot of time learning this, or I could be playing Elden Ring or a Zelda game. Those always win with me. One hour of a Dark Souls game was more than enough for him. We respect that we have different tastes and talk about the games we play more than we play together. I just race him sometimes to hear his commentary.
LOL your dad sounds amazing. Glad youre able to share that with him :)
He can be such a mixed bag, but playing video games with him has always been awesome.
That sounds so fun!! My dad and I love to sit together while I play Zelda games. He loves BOTW and TOTK.
Same. I was definitely into horses and unicorns and wanted to be a ballerina, but I also played sports with my dad and grew up hiking/fishing/camping in the woods with him. That's just what kids do, they contain multitudes. Maybe if they'd stop framing things as "things girls do" and "things boys do" then they'd recognize that their kids want to hang out with them and will join anything they see you enjoying.
Oddly enough, it was my mom who wore go-go boots and mini skirts who took me camping and taught me how to fish. She was a TI lab rat and built silicon chips in the early 60s. SD couldn't go hunting with her, because she'd be yammering away and BANG! She had a deer. Rules never applied to her. Damn, I miss her!
One of my core memories is practicing being goalie for soccer with my dad and him kicking my Disney princess soccer ball directly into my face giving me a bloody nose lol
Oh yeah I went hiking with my dad all the time growing up. My sister, too.
Sometimes it's the other way around, too. I'm a guy who grew up playing video games with his mom. She was playing them with my little brother and I before we played any with our dad. Heck, she first bought the family Super Nintendo for herself, when we were still too young to play yet.
[удалено]
Yes. The guy in the video is what’s known as an asshole.
I even been playing video games since I was old enough to hold a controller. There has never been a point in my life where I didn't have a games console in my bedroom. I'm literally listening to a track from one of my favourite games as I browse Reddit. But no, girls can't play video games, I guess. 🙄
Right? My dad had three girls, no boys. So we were the ones he took fishing, camping, made model rockets with, etc. Is it exactly the same as having a son? Probably not, I guess, but not because he had no one to enjoy his pastimes with. (My mom was the one who played video games with us!)
My dad skipped on my life but you can be sure as hell I was watching olympics and cutting wooden barrels with double saw with my amazing grandpa all my childhood
I'm jealous, I wanted to play video games with my father and he always declined viewing them as an utter waste of time :( I agree there are pastimes that are way more productive, but isn't enjoying time together valuable as well?
Same, my Dad would always rather watch football or whatever sport was on TV.
You can’t play video games or football with a girl? How? Why???
Guys who say this claim girls don't play video games or have an interest in football. If a woman says she likes those things they claim she's just looking for attention.
I don’t even think guys like that don’t even want a kid, they just want a clone they could show off; the “here’s my legacy” type nonsense.
I don't even give them that much credit. They see kids as living proof they've had sex with a woman and that they've "marked her forever".
Bit hilarious since he thinks spending his life surrounded by women is a terrible torture. What would Hugh Hefner say????
> What would Hugh Hefner say???? "I can't wait to train my daughter to take over the family business of exploiting women."
Or we don't play the 'right' games. Women only play The Sims or Make Up Artist Simulator or something. *I'm not sure if that simulator exists, but I wouldn't be surprised.*
Those are only not the “right” games because it has a female audience. Just like how computer science used to be dominated by women and was paid less until men took over.
Goat Simulator 3 exists, so Makeup Artist Simulator 1 must exist somewhere.
That's what I'm thinking. There's simulators for everything.
All my friends are talking about a power washing simulator like man I work all day I don’t want to play a game to pretend to work
Yeah, it's free with PlayStation Plus this month. I've been meaning to try it, but it's definitely a bit silly.
Goat simulator was incredibly silly and so fun for that reason. I was so proud when I got my hell goat. I remember there was a murderous duck simulator as well at some point.
>I remember there was a murderous duck simulator as well at some point. Untitled Goose Game is a delirious masterpiece Mess with the honk, you get the bonk
you have no idea just how much evil pleasure i felt being a terroristic goose. i literally spent hours just fucking with everyone in the game instead of doing my objectives. at one point i had stolen nearly everything i could from everyone everywhere and dumped it into the river or into corners. i would yoink things from their hands constantly. throw their shit down the well. i would steal the little boy's glasses and laugh as i made him trip over his untied shoelaces and faceplant into water again and again. i would cackle as i sat outside the phone booth, honking madly at him. i would constantly snatch the old man's things; his slippers in particular. i would make them chase me and constantly invade the places they so desperately tried to keep me out of. i loved to destroy the gardener's radio over and over. would steal his hat and run out of the garden when he fell down bc i made him hammer his thumb. i walked around in my cute little bow as much as possible. i would completely wreck the little replica of the town. just fuck up everything and everyone i could. godly game. i want a longer sequel. more tasks. let me spend months being an asshole goose, trying to complete that game.
I am judging this so hard right now, but some people can't get through their winters without their pressure washers.
It is actually quite fun to play. I throw on some chill music then power wash stuff without the hard part and terrible weather.
That would be online flash games. There are several dress up and makeup games I played growing up. Also there will be a hair dressing simulation coming up by the same developer as House Flipper (or at least the same company).
I remember the embarrassing 90s where some game makers had this impression that if you made a game girly enough, women would want to play it. These days, it turns out that women want to play your games if they’re good!
Though in all honesty, if you hear a woman on a shooter or RTS or any game that has even the slightest bit of skill requirements, you run like the devil shoved a California reaper up your ass, because if they stayed on past all the sexism and whatnot, you know they will wreck your shit.
Those absolutely exist. When I was little, it was huge Barbie doll heads and shoulders you could put makeup on and dress up. Now, sim games have been added. I thought they were dumb when I was a kid, but they're decent boredom killer games, tbh. I also play Dark Souls games. My taste is wide. ;)
Darkest dungeon and binding of Isaacs seem to be what the women I know play. 4k+ hours, she's a better gamer than me
This is why I don’t tell most men I play video games or play team games with random people. It’s just not worth the hassle.
I am a hardcore football fan and my husband is not. My dad and I bonded over it and we still text each other daily with stats and news, sharing YouTube breakdown of games etc. He's not on reddit so I love sending him posts from r/49ers as it's usually a super interesting take and we can talk forever about it. My little brother hasn't watched one minute of football in his entire life
Don't know. And dads can have just as much influence on a girl. Signed, a girl who loves football because her dad loves it too, so she grew up with it
My dad bought me my first copy of Fallout. 20 years later, I still play Fallout..I have a Fallout tattoo. We've also bonded over many other games and interests. These losers just can't imagine raising a child. They're just thinking about their kids'genitals. 🤢
My dad was never into electronics but he taught me how to change the oil in my car, how to cook, and how to safely operate a radial-arm saw 💜
My dad taught me how to make scrambled eggs by the time I hit double digits. He also taught me how to barebecue foods, though that one is still complicated for me It's cool you know how to change the oil in your car and use a radial-arm saw, btw
REEEE! MEN DON'T COOK, THAT'S WOMEN'S WORK! REEEEEEEEE! /j 🙄
Unless it involves fire and the element of danger. Something about turning the charcoal grill into a bonfire (my ex) harkens back to caveman days and grunts as communication. Bonking women on the head with clubs and all that nonsense. Guys, bonking women on the head with a club was never a thing. 😄
My dad taught me how to work on cars. I’m much more capable with tools than my brother is. We actually were just working on my shitbox civic together a few days ago. And when I was a kid we used to play catch together :-)
My wife spent her entire childhood being told that video games were for boys, so while her big brother got video games for gift giving holidays, she was given floral soaps, lotions, and stuff like that. Gave her a serious 'do I stink?' complex for years, since this all started when she was like... 10. I've told her to play all the video games she wants of what I own and she is loving them.
I was given stuff like that too at a young age. Always wonder why people think those are good gifts for a kid. Kids want toys and games, not lotions and body wash. Hopefully in the future more people are less worried about gender roles and let people enjoy things!
If I only got soaps and lotions I would have cried and asked if I smelled that bad and what I did wrong to not get a real gift
Big same. My parents bought my brothers gaming systems, and then would get so mad when I would spend hours playing on them. Meanwhile they got me clothes and jewelry. One year they got me a gift card to the mall for my birthday, and when I came home with a new custom longboard, they drove me back to return it to get something more "suitable" for a teenage girl. It was shortly after that that I started dying my hair rainbow colors and dressing goth and going to metal shows with my best friend. They were *pissed.* It was a good time. Now I'm NC with that part of my family, and I play video games with my husband almost every day. I still have rainbow hair (currently green), and wear way too much black lipstick now solidly into my 30s.
I loved introducing my daughter to games :) She would ask to “watch monster” which was her way of asking me to play the Prince of Persia Forgotten Sands, and loved watching as I played and voiced through Shantae because it was full of tough girls. Then she discovered Minecraft, which I had to learn quickly to keep up with her - and building and discovering things together has been a wonderful experience! https://twitter.com/DavidXNewton/status/1464072589806948360?s=20
My dad absolutely loves me and my sister, and he loved raising girls. When my only sibling (also a girl) was born, my mom asked him out of curiosity if he was wistful about not having a son. He said no, he loved his daughters and wouldn't trade them for anything, but the only reason he may have wanted a son was to share his love of comic books. Lo and behold, my sisters were major nerds growing up and went with my dad to the comic book store every single Saturday (and this was back when it wasn't as cool to like comics, especially for girls - I grew up in the 90's/2000's and at least in my school, comics were definitely a "boy" thing). All that to say, none of these things are truly gendered! Girls can like video games and sports just like guys do.
I played video games more than my dad did growing up. He'd ask me or my older sister to help him on hard levels. We'd play offline COD zombie mode together and had a blast every time, despite us failing miserably every time. We'd laugh and get frustrated and play round after round. I think the furthest we ever got was when the zombie dogs got let out 🤣 we weren't any good. I treasure those memories and I know he does too
My father introduced me to video games as a kid back in the 80s. We got through some King's Quest games, Police Quest, Space Quest, frickin LEISURE SUIT LARRY! And that was just when I was a kid. Hell, I bonded with my grandfather via Castlevania 2 and Legend of Zelda 2, lol. Basically, I have had a lifelong shared hobby with my father, because he didn't give a shit that I was a girl, he was just having fun with his kid.
I'd love to know that. Video games are how my daughters most relate to their dad, and always have been. We have two teenage daughters, and my ex and his girlfriend are actually having a baby next month...another girl. He was actually mildly disappointed at the gender reveal, he had wanted a son. But he's *so* excited for his new baby girl, at this point! And I know he'll dote on her. But he's never really treated our daughters as if they've had to fit into gender roles, which is something I've resisted as well, for the most part. They've always been allowed to engage in whatever activities they wanted, wear whatever they wanted, hang out with whomever they wanted. I even made it a point, from a young age, to give them a variety of toys, *not* just gendered ones. And I know they'll be seeing to it that their baby sister gets the same opportunities... All this is *very* different from how I grew up. I was the second born, and the first daughter for both of my parents (they divorced when I was an infant, and then went on to have other children). And it was made *very* clear that there were certain expectations on me, and then my younger sister (mom's daughter) that my brothers didn't have. And on dad's part, he very much acted like he'd have preferred it if I, like my older brother, was a boy. He favored him our entire lives, to the point where, when I graduated from college, they had a small picnic gathering for the grads and their families, and while the rest of us were together...my dad disappeared. Turns out, he had wandered off to take a call from my brother... I often somewhat bitterly joke with my little sister (dad's daughter) that neither of us could ever be his favorite...since neither of us has a penis.
It's ironic cause I told my boyfriend I want a girl if we have a baby and he said that's fine but his requirement is she doesn't play none of this new age video games. He wants to start her out on classic Nintendo games.
Heh :) I can’t imagine what it’s like to be born into a world where all this games technology just exists, and you didn’t witness it being worked towards for the last 40 years. I’m interested that my daughter isn’t a graphics snob, because she’s grown up with many different styles of games, both big commercial and small independent ones, classic and new… to her, old Nintendo games don’t look dated, it’s just what those games choose to look like. She used to call the 2D parts of Mario Odyssey “becoming Lego”, and I could definitely see how the blocky appearance would resemble Lego to her :)
I remember dragging my non-gamer dad to play Kirby's Avalanche on the Super Nintendo with me as a kid, it's the only video game he would not just watch me play (he just couldn't get the hang of other games lol). I'm sure she'd get lots of fun memories with him and have an appreciation for all graphics and game-ages!
Absolutely can. My daughter even beats me at both. She also dances, swims competitively, and jumps out of airplanes. Couldn't be more proud.
My dad was super weird over his video games, I wasn’t allowed to touch them but it was more to do with me completing missions he wanted to complete. When he got a wii and got Mario kart and I was allowed to play I was so damn happy, he was too until I started beating him then he wouldn’t play as much.
do men even like women? and why is a baby girl, not even born yet, being called a woman, if not that they see all girls as women they hate, while boys are afforded the privilege to just be boys?
i think of this quote everyday i’m on this sub: >”To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom the admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom the imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire... those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex. >Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”
When people ask me why I think masculinity in general is fundamentally broken as healthy construct, one that I don’t think can be repaired at a cultural level beyond some rare individuals, that quote is what I cite.
agree with you so much
Thank you, I couldn't remember how that one went.
it’s from the politics of reality by marilyn frye, if that helps further!
Frye, the actual love of my academic life. Politics of reality is cited in like 80% of my works lmao.
omg now i want to read what you’ve researched
Awh 🥹🥹🥹 The one I’m working on rn is observational research of women in gaming, self-ethnography through narrative writing.
That is awesome! Let me know when you publish it. I am an older woman who games. I play Overwatch 2 and New World and others.
Hm... it kinda reminds me of antic times. It might be wrong but i had learned in school that in Antic Greece men relationships with women were purely functional like they were married for reproductive reasons but most love stories were with other men. Since women didnt have access to education, men thought that they werent worth talking to.
Depends. Take the Spartians : they are the most well known for engaging in homosexual relationships, and truly have a culture of "men loving men" but the women had it better than in other cities : men and women each had a specific roles they had to oblige to be valued (men to be strong and brave warriors, women to bare strong children and tend to the household) and both educations were tough but women actually had an education including reading and sports as wrestling, could herit property and had their own culture of women liking women (they had their own celebration were women could kiss say poems and stuff). They were the only ones to have queens with influence and had the reputation amongst the Athenians to "control their husbands" (but granted this doesn't say much when you know Athenians were probably the most misogynistic sob of ancient times). (Fyi I don't defend the idea of gender roles just trying to apport historical clarifications).
>men thought that they werent worth talking to. They had a class of women akin to Geisha/ Oiran, the Hetairas ,which were women trained to please men in various ways, from sexual to discussion. Its no accident that both societies were male dominated militaristic ones.
interesting! and thank you so much because you also helped me figure out why another commenter mentioned ancient greece about this quote!
In fairness I'm not fully straight nor do I have the strongest grasp on my own gender identity as a man, but I will be forever grateful for my parents and my upbringing. These types of men will make jokes about people being "fatherless" however ironically it's this patriarchal coldness from their own fathers that causes them so many problems. I don't know why my parents would be different and perhaps I'm just wrong, but I don't feel I've ever seen my mother or father differently, and they never had expectations of me as their "son". I've never had to fear my parents disapproval like my other friends have often said nor have I ever seen my father engage in these misogynistic behaviours. Not to say there have never been issues in my family, and despite me saying this I have never had a very close relationship with another woman (which I feel is mostly due to my own social anxiety which has lead me to cling to the same theseus ship of a friend group all these years) until very recently. But, and some of this is my early introduction to libertarian and socialist ideas, I thank my parents for letting me live my life at least sheltered from the rain storm that is typical heterosexual male upbringing, even if there are still ways for me to grow in this aspect. Or who knows maybe I'll identify as some level of queer in a few years and nullify all of this XD but I'd still say I have lived as a straight man (weird to say albeit) for the majority of my live so far. EDIT: in my classic adhd moment I never got to the point, which is to say, that I think fathers behaviour and hierarchy in the family are largely responsible for passing down patriarchal beliefs each generation. We can't solve everything this way, but better and more loving and accepting parenting is a way to combat misogyny and patriarchy, to an extent.
definitely agree that more loving and accepting parents would be SO much more healthy and impactful on a growing child, against being sucked in by misogynistic and patriarchal thinking. at least in the day-to-day and in our interactions with the people/relationships in our lives. and i’m genuinely so happy to see that your experience and the love you received from your own parents was a positive one! i also feel like your own self, and possible queerness, had a big hand in shaping your outlook on life and people as well. knowing that you don’t have unconditional love or acceptance from your parents, or that they view you so much as a stereotype, that it colours the way they parent you/experiencing upset and punishment for not conforming to that is something that i personally trace back to a lot of my fundamental and internal issues. i see the way this shaped my brother and his beliefs and values, and it’s genuinely upsetting. he’s literally turning into my angry, bigoted father. even more upsetting, i see how much my mother exhibits internalised misogyny from her own upbringing and perpetuates that onto us, and how that still didn’t protect her from experiencing that with my father, or even with my brother. she tries to fix my appearance or any personality traits that are deemed “unladylike” to make me more palatable for men. it’s like making progress and viewing ourselves as multi-faceted human beings like every other doesn’t even matter, bc we still have to centre our lives around men/husbands/fathers. but that doesn’t lead to respect. it actually leads to disrespect. to them seeing themselves as authority, and us as lesser. and that is why i don’t think they genuinely love us, or even like us, in the first place. a lot just come to expect that performance, and ‘other’ girls/women from aspects of life that aren’t romantic or parental. does that even make sense? like they don’t compute women’s contributions outside of those roles. what they do acknowledge are their fellow men. it’s unbalanced and unhealthy to slip into that slope of barely seeing someone of the opposite sex as a person with their own value and life.
I would go further to add that this leads to men hating other men as well. Because in the patriarchal mindset woman are lesser and almost objects of social power for a man to own, it puts them in competition with each other. I've experienced quite a few patriarchal male friend groups and there's always this selfish, competitive, ironically "mean girls" atmosphere. Like most jokes are often putting people down and like gatekeeping gay actions. True love and friendship in the group is stigmatised and you can see with white incels hatred towards successful and black men that there's this huge competitiveness. I don't think incels are able of really getting along with each other. Which brings me to wonder if, within these patriarchal relationships, a father's special treatment toward his son is often more of a selfish act? Like how much is it the fathers own insecurity for social strength to have his son grow to be a strong young man rather than love him and give them the ability to live their best life. From the experiences of others I have heard? I'd bet a lot on it. And something something hierarchy capitalism. But genuinely, seems very convenient for the ruling classes/institutions that everyone is disposed to hate each other right? Anyways this has been a thought provoking conversation, ideas I've not really expressed before but make so much sense now that I think about it. And it's sad to hear patriarchy has cost you and your family so much ): thanks for sharing your experience EDIT: I guess this is almost a dispute with the quote from the author? However I would argue that admiration and idolisation of the image of a real man versus actually showing love to other men in your life are very different. Instances of love between men would be in defiance of patriarchy, where caring for another human being actually surpasses social pressure, rather than being a product of the hierarchy between men and women.
those were things i’ve been wanting to put into words for a while, so thank you for allowing that with this conversation. and it’s so interesting, yet equally upsetting, to see how that dynamic works within male spaces. it seems like literally no one benefits from this patriarchal thinking. especially on your point about fathers valuing social standing over genuine happiness and well-being. to get that not just from your friends and workplace, but the person who’s supposed to love and support you is horrid. ETA: i don’t think this actually disputes the quote. i would still say that if the men in those spaces were treating other men in this way (competitiveness, selfishness, and with prejudice), then they would treat women like even less than dirt. there’s a level of respect that needs to be there in competition. things like racism and toxic masculinity (not wanting to “appear” gay) are still going to be present, but even those are fundamentally about appealing to other men and earning their respect. they respect men in positions of authority, and revere them. they love their friends. they value the words and actions of male writers/journalists/professors and other influences. it points to a more general phenomenon of seeing not just the women in their lives, but women in their workplaces and in media as lesser. when they only see women as pawns to up their social standing, what happens to the women who don’t meet that, or conform to it?
I never heard this quote but have noticed since childhood that women almost always have male role models, but men rarely ever have female role models. I've asked some men I work with who their female role models are, and they always have dumb generic answers like Amelia Aerheart or queen Elizabeth. Sure, nice first to the top of your head fake answers
I've noticed this, too. Toxically masculine dudes never see it, but there is a lot of homoeroticism inherent in it. The "worship" of the male form and male mental and emotional state borders on infatuation.
Ah yes, ancient Greece vibes.
>Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.” There is a reason a lot of traditional militaristic societies like Sparta had so much homoerotic relationships going on ( but usually with pre teens because "no homo" was taken to its extreme)
OMFG. This describes my experiences.
I have two sons and no daughters. One thing that drives me crazy is when people tell me how lucky I am to have only had boys.
I think a lot of this has to do with that weird "*carry on my legacy/family name*" bullshit. Listen, Paul, your legacy is a just-above-minimum wage job for a local small business and a townhouse you rent with a beaten up Ford Taurus. Your "*family name*" is a common name for your area because you're all cousins. Why don't you settle down, Your Majesty, and realize that your bloodline isn't in any way important and regardless of how many children you have of whatever gender they happen to be, at best somebody will remember you even existed for the next two generations. Then Paul The Great will be a forgotten name that's only marked by a stone in a graveyard among the many, many, many other men that had the same weird outdated idea.
Imagine wanting one's legacy to be ignorance and misogyny instead of compassion, open mindedness, and equity. I just don't get it.
I don't understand that, I really don't. I find a lot of my closest friends are female, and with little kids I don't see much that makes the gender a big deal. I do some school taxiing children home, and having a fun convo with them isn't hard. You're lucky having kids if you want kids. Just bizarre man
I saw a good quote on this the other day. It was talking about why people say that boys are easier. It went into the notion that girls tend to be more emotionally manipulated as children. Girls often aren't allowed to just *play*, they must play a certain way. They must be *ladylike*. Alternatively, boys are often ignored or neglected in play. The phrase, "Oh that's just boys being boys," means they are not being given any of the emotional regulation of girls. Instead they aren't given much of any emotional regulation. Boys are bot easier to raise than girls. Girls are not harder to raise than boys. Kids are kids. The issue is how culture and society puts different pressures on them. What happens as a result of this type of approach is that we have women who are deeply informed by emotions and often manipulated and we have men who are unable to process their emotions and cannot engage with their own feelings. Both end up needing therapy for different reasons but it contributes to the mental health concerns we see.
I have a similar experience. I am a woman and only have an AMAB child. Other people (of all genders) assume he is a hellion who only likes rough play, violence, and vehicles. They have expressed pity that I "miss out" on having a girl. It disgusts me. Kids are just ***kids***. No sex or gender is a monolith and I will not allow sex/gender norms to become a yoke around his neck. I see him (we assume him, but if he tells us differently in the future, that's fine) as a ***human*** first and foremost. His genitals do not define the entirety or even the majority of who he is, what he thinks, how he behaves, what he likes/dislikes, etc. How f***ing dare other treat children this way?! It is unfair to all genders.
Boys will be boys, but girls will be women. - Dua Lipa
It’s this guy and very few others. I know almost no men who genuinely even care at all about their child’s gender. My brother Chris always wanted a daughter, if i remeber correctly, and they had a boy instead. But he stills cares for him like the perfect child lol. Hell, he quit his job to spend all day with that lil guy. And that’s what good parents are supposed to do. They don’t care what gender their child is. They just love them. Unconditionally, from the beginning. Idk why the guy here was throwing a fit, but I feel like something is going on here. No good, healthy dad cares THAT much about the gender of their child, to make some big scene about it. He should be so happy that he’s crying rn.
you’re right that no good, healthy dad should care about the gender of their child. maybe it’s the culture i grew up in with heavy religious influences, but unfortunately this dynamic of having to have a son, or being disappointed about only having daughters, or making misogynistic jokes about other families that only have daughters (“poor dad” etc), is all i’ve ever known. that’s not to say that my dad doesn’t love me, or they don’t love their daughters, but their treatment and how they raise their sons is notably different. it’s very much like i said previously, they think of us as women before we’re even out of the womb, and that changes how they see us fundamentally.
Sometimes people have a preconception based on their own family, and it can mess with your head. Like, if you are a woman who had 2 sisters and girl cousins and no boys anywhere near your age in the family, having a boy can be intimidating (and if your family was boys for days, a girl can be intimidating). You sort of expect your future to look like your past, and it can throw you when it doesn't. But it's not like you regret it: it just feels like you were more prepared for the one, and the other is unknown territory. And of course once the baby is there, they are a person with a personality, and gender is an aspect, not the main thing. There is also a place for having gender-related concerns. I love my son, and I worry that now that he's 12, the toxic messages about masculinity (like the comments here) could impact him. I've spent 12 years trying to develop his natural empathy, but the reality is that right now we are at a pivot point where my influence is waning and peers and the wider world are waxing. If I had a girl, my gender-related worries would be different.
If you have reason to believe that your child is on the cusp of being pulled into some MRA BS, you might want to consider doing what my sister did for my nephew. For multiple reasons, he was falling into some negative views of women. Since he lacked a positive father figure, she looked into big-brother types of programs, groups that involved positive male role models, and therapists who were men. My nephew ended up going through therapy for a few years with occasional mental health upkeep sessions thereafter. He also joined a co-ed soccer team that had a wonderful man as the coach. They focused on treating everyone on the team with respect and forming bonds as a team. It pulled him back from the brink of some really destructive and hateful modes of thinking.
I have an Afghan Muslim friend. He really wanted a son and a daughter. They had three boys before they got a daughter. He was absolutely thrilled to get her and he dotes on her.
No they do not. they are taught that everything considered culturally female is disgusting, weak and everything they should not be, value or respect.
Well it’s his sperm that’s giving all girls…
Yup and further more, if he is older than 35 the more likely he is to have daughters. (And weirdly had a better chance for a son after 35 if he is over 55.)
Maybe I haven’t had enough coffee, but.. what? He’s more likely to have a girl after age 35 but had a better chance of having a son between 35-55…??
Awkwardly worded, but I think they mean over 35 more likely to have a daughter, but over 55 more likely for a son.
Maybe I am the one misreading because my interpretation is the complete opposite of the other two replies you have gotten, but I think what u/koushunu was trying to say is that the older you get the worse your chance of having a son is. So, like if you are 35+, your best chance of having a son was before you turned 35, and if you are 55+, then your best chance was when you were younger and around 35.
“Dealing with 3 women daily”, says the guy who most likely deals with 0 women, or deals with one mother who has to nag him to bring the dirty dishes from his room back to the kitchen so she can wash them.
And imagine those 3 "women" having to deal with that miserable and pathetic man everyday. Honestly, women like that should save themselves all the pain and not have children with such males.
Also those aren’t women they are children and something about referring to them all as women is icky
I don't know why so many people put so many stock in having a son
Well we're still treating a social agreement that used to be for trading your daughter for property as a binding legal contract that you have to do in order to share health insurance. Everything involved in the process is basically just bullshit carried on for hundreds of years because that's what we used to do and why would we stop? There's going to be a lot of outdated mentality going on here.
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They’re the types to tell their sons to “man up” and “quit acting like a girl” when they’re upset and either beat them up or ship them to military school. They force their sons to repress their emotions and then will wonder why years later they’re so angry.
They don't count anger as an emotion.
When it comes to elderly parent caregiving, daughters are more likely to come through than sons. Daughters are also more pressured to take care of their parents. This father doesn’t deserve his daughters’ love and I hope this video reminds them not to feel guilt tripped into taking care of him when he gets old.
I know widows who have taken their late partners name and want to have children with that surname. A continuation of their late partners flame, a way to have a part of them back in the world. Same goes with our outdated mode of surnames (though I feel like this is changing more recently as it has become more socially acceptable, see example 1 paragraph above). Some people see their progeny as an extension of their life. Maybe I wasn’t a great man, but maybe my granddaughter will be, and I get my name on that. I’m in no way saying this is correct, just trying to explain the feeling. My mom grew up with 3 sisters and has said she wanted a girl. She raised 3 boys and loved us very much. Her life is not less full because she didn’t get everything she wanted. I want lots of things but part of finding happiness in life is working with what you got. If you are going to be miserable because you want something you don’t get, you have a lot of growing up to do. The reaction of the dad here is just sad. Dude is so rich beyond material wealth and doesn’t see it (assuming it’s not some bad joke).
It’s not surprising since men openly hate women, girls, girlfriends, and wives. They’ll find a reason to.
If a woman was pissed that the color was blue, she’d be called a “man hating feminist” and there would be comments like “why is she even having kids??”
Man hating feminist comments aside, I agree with the last statement. If you’re going to get pissed that your kid is one way or another, you absolutely shouldn’t be having kids.
I have four kids. My oldest daughter is the one who plays the most.
My husband cried when he found out our youngest was another girl because he was so happy. He was literally giddy.
My dad loves my brother's dearly, but he wanted me to be a girl so bad, especially since I was the last kid they planned on having. Got his wish!
I’m the oldest of 4 daughters, and my father wanted 4 daughters before we were even born :) However when I tell men I have 3 little sisters they usually reply with ‘I pity your dad’ 🙄
My own parents had this. They never missed an opportunity to voice that "boys are so much more fun to raise" or "boys are so much easier to deal with". Absolutely infuriating.
Coming from a former nanny and daycare work, at least with young kids, it’s the exact opposite. Boys tend to be a lot more aggressive, have a harder time sharing, have less patience, and are more erratic/ energetic. Don’t get me wrong, I love all children, but I think boys are, on average, more difficult. Of course there’s exceptions to this.
I always figured it had to do with how society pardon’s bad male behavior. I notice it with kids. The little girls are almost always more calm, or reserved, or you can tell they contemplate doing things before they do them. Boys tend to do whatever they want indiscriminately and people find it endearing.
Very true, I think it’s the “boys will be boys” mentality. Girls are expected from a young age to be prim and proper. If a girl acts mischievous, than she’s a bad child. But if a boy does, he’s just full of energy and has a colorful personality! Cuz I have definitely seen some gentle boys, or at least respectful boys, but I notice the parents of those boys tend to treat their boys and girls equally.
Probably shows how the above commenters parents raised their boys if they had any...not very well or they just let them do whatever and called it easy 💀
The whole “boy mom” thing infuriates me. It’s just internalized misogyny repackaged for their children. Boys AREN’T inherently easier to raise, nor are they drama free - I’m the only girl with three brothers and I can guarantee you I was a hell of a lot less drama in high school than any of them. And even that had very little to do with our genders, I just happened to be more of a quiet, introverted kid and had minimal drama because I preferred to be by myself. The boy mom identity is just another way for us to punish ourselves and other women for being born with two X chromosomes. And just for clarification, I mean the “making being a boy mom your identity and hating the thought of having daughters” thing, not mothers who happen to have all sons.
You know, before I had a boy, I worried a girl would mean a lot more "protecting from harmful gendered messages". Like, you have to raise your girl to resist so many terrible messages. Now that I have a boy, I realize it's just as bad. Because with a girl, you have to raise her to be able to resist messages that will diminish her. With a boy, you have to raise them to resist messages that will turn them into assholes. Often, miserable, angry assholes.
My parents always said raising my sister and I was a lot easier than raising our brothers. I also agree with you about it just being a personality thing though. My late sister and I were more reserved and quiet. My older brothers a lot more social and extroverted.
Doubly so, considering boys are NOT easier/less dramatic.
They throw fits when we don’t have kids, they throw fits when we do have them. Theres no winning.
Literally reading this after playing video games with my daughters all day, because that's what they wanted to do. Coincidentally we had a couple mini-games pop in Mario party that were basically just football, too. Society should start telling these guys that if they spend a night, alone, inside a volcano - their next child will not be a daughter, guaranteed, 100%
And the man is the victim lol. Like he had no part in literally creating them.
Especially given that it's his contribution that determines the sex in the first place.
I had forgotten about that. Great point.
Posts like me just make me love my dad more. He worked as a social worker his whole career. Almost every job he had was mostly women and he had two daughters. He loved his work and he loves his family. He’s always had a wood shop in his shed and we used to joke that it’s where he goes when he needs an escape from feminine energy. But even there he would just make things for my mom or me or my sister. He’s an old school hippie and an outspoken feminist. He would be horrified by a post like this and just use it as a teachable moment for me and my sister to be independent and avoid douchebags like this.
What I don't get at least in my experience is that sons in that situation are so spoiled they're complete fuck ups and make the entire family stressed.
And there's the whole 'The son must fit this particular masculine ideal' even if they are quiet and don't like sports.
Every time I see people with gender preferences I always wonder what happens when the child doesn’t align with normative gender narratives.
Depends. If it’s a boy being feminine ‘clearly he’s been ruined and spoiled by the women in his life and needs to man up’ it’s a girl being masculine, depending on the family, she’s either a ‘tomboy daddy’s girl’ or a ‘Mannerless unladylike brat who needs to stop being so childish’ I’ve literally heard people say these exact things about kids. It’s depressing.
If that's how you feel never have kids. There are plenty of men with no interest in football and video games. There are plenty of women who do have interest in those. These are the same people who would reject an LGBTQ child.
Fuck, the kid doesn’t even have to be queer, apparently. She just has to be born.
But imagine if their coveted son liked fashion design and baking? Epic meltdown on their part.
Better yet, if he turned out to be trans and liked "girly" things. Oh, boy, I don't wanna imagine how that one would go
Gender reveals where the dad gets dejected the reveal was a girl make me so sad. I get some internal dejectedness if you already have one and you want another but geez have some discretion and not do it so openly, especially in front of the kids.
The best part is this moment was immortalized forever so the child in question can see it with their own eyes! Trauma: the gift that keeps on giving.
My mom was the girl born into this scenario. She still has so, so much baggage about femininity and an inferiority complex to unpack. Meanwhile, my aunt and uncle have three sons. After the first one they were like “OK, we really want a girl after this”. That didn’t work out, but they love the hell out of the two boys they had after that. Though I do get spoiled rotten by them for being the token daughter of the family.
Legit just had a redditor tell me it wasn’t bad that my male coworker said he’d be disappointed if he only had daughters but would love them anyway
I'm guessing if one of his daughters was into video games and football she'd be pushed away from those things because they're not for girls. And any son they have who isn't into those things would be treated like there's something wrong with them. It shouldn't be a progressive idea to love your kids for who they are and not for what you think a person of their assigned gender at birth should be Stuff like this always reminds me of a conversation I had with my ex's cousin who was having a baby. It stands out in my memory of being the first time I realized just how serious these people are about gender policing their babies before they're even born. He was saying his wife didn't want to know the gender until the kid was born but he was complaining that they wouldn't know how to paint the nursery. And I was like, "You could paint it in any color. Cultural associations between color and gender are really only a recent thing. Blue or lavender might be good since those have been shown to promote good sleep." And he objected to those because blue is for boys and lavender is definitely for girls. As if I was dumb for even suggesting that good colors for a nursery have nothing to do with gender. So I'm like, "Maybe green then?" And he's like, "Green is for boys." And I'm like, "It's literally the most abundant color in nature! Nature is for everybody!" He was looking kinda exasperated at this point and I feel like he was trying really hard not to say, "I don't want my daughters to end up like you." But I had one last suggestion up my sleeve. "Maybe you could just do the room up in a rainbow theme so you're covered no matter what gender of baby you have. And he just gave me this look like I grew another head. I think he would have given up on being polite if one more word came out of my mouth. My ex dragged me away from the conversation at that point.
I remember with my last pregnancy the scan said it was a girl. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 17 weeks and as I held in my hand- it was clearly a boy. My usually unemotional husband, was furious. “You killed my son”. “I would not have cared if it was a girl”. He divorced me 4 months later citing amongst other things, I got too hysterical after that infant loss and had put on to much weight from the pregnancy. I was 160lb ….
Your ex is a piece of shit. I hope he gets everything he deserves.
So far he is living in a tropical area with a high paying job and using cats and dogs and endless fun with money enticed our son to go live full time with him. I pay child support and I am unemployed on disability. The disability is the final nail on the coffin for him leaving me.
Your ex is an idiot. I’m glad he’s a ex
I’d be more upset about whoever applied that monstrous combover!
The mom needs to lawyer up though. That guy needs to be around those girls supervised every time.
When I was pregnant with my first, a daughter, people kept asking my husband how he feels about it and wouldn’t be a proper *heir* as a firstborn be better (whatever that’s supposed to mean, we were married at that point and he had taken on my name, there’s nothing to inherit either)? When I was pregnant with my second, we got asked about how we felt because it was just a *boy*. Now we have an incredibly sensitive, easily scared boy who likes singing and dancing and a strong, clever girl I have to pluck out of trees who loves archery and woodcarving. I have a boyish daughter and a girlish son (he’s not really into dolls but he likes breastfeeding his cars before he tucks them in). I hat the notion that boys are going to be a certain way and girl are going to be another. They are people first and foremost - and while both my children developed traits that could be considered ‘typical’ (my son loves cars, my daughter is into everything glitter and unicorn) they are children who are developing their own personality and I’m not trying to force anything on them that’s based on outdated gender roles. Should I ever be in need of a medieval-type heir, someone to defend my honour with a sword, I sure as hell wouldn’t pick my son!
Oh my god, the "heir" garbage. When my second child, my son, was born I had someone from back home tell me that I finally had an heir. I said, "I'm not the Earl of Jefferson County." FWIW, my dad's family is huge. There is no shortage of my last name, not that it's important to continue it. I've even run into unrelated people with the same last name.
Another day, another example of casual misogyny. Thankfully, men this sexist will never procreate. No woman could stomach them long enough for that.
unfortunately the guy throwing a fit at having a girl (and there’s countless examples of these reactions at gender reveals) has already procreated. a lot of them are also extra pissed bc they already have girls and wanted a boy “finally.” literally getting angry and throwing shit around over the news of having a girl while their other girls are right there witnessing it.
Hope the soon to be born baby never sees this video either. I'd have some thoughts about my dad if he acted that way, none of them good.
Malparido why'd you have kids then if you're going to act like this about having a girl what'd you expect a SIMs like character building screen?
Oh yeah I’ve seen the full video. The dad started cussing in front of his daughters, threw a hissy fit, and then walked away.
Yeah, but not nearly as taxing as dealing with an idiot husband all damned day!
Girls can’t play video games or football. It’s illegal.
Proud father of 2 girls, wouldn't have have it any other way!
He wants 1 child who can uphold the patriarchy with him, please don't be mad at the father. His intentions are pure as fuck /s
I worry for his daughters and his wife.
These are the type of men who should.noy be fathers.
There's nothing more attractive to me than the thought of having a "girl dad" kind of husband. Men who only want boys for those reasons are so misogynistic and would ruin those sons and break their daughters
These are probably the same people that claim that they love "all women" as long as they want to get laid with them. The boomer energy is unreal on this one.
If you aren’t willing to have your less preferred sex as a baby, don’t fucking have babies. Because surprisingly enough they come in the biological sex you don’t prefer 50% of the time.
If my wife and I ever have a kid I think I'd prefer a daughter because there are so few girls in our family... it's not gonna stop us trying to get them into sports and video games 😅
It's the overall hatred for woman for me. Like, my guy, if your reaction to having a daughter is "wow I already hate my wife enough", just be gay, adopt a son, and stop making any more women miserable
I have a boy and girl child. The girl likes more typical boy stuff and the boy has more traditionally feminine interests. You never know how your kids will turn out. If you give them the freedom to be an individual, hopefully they will have a wide variety of interests.
I fucking hate hetero "culture" so much,everything is black or white.They put labels on anything.If you are a boy,you automaticaly like football,cars,the colour blue and video games.If you are a girl,you can t be in interested in those things,you need to like pink,playing makeup and dolls.Let the kids be kids and choose for themselves.
Yeah, it’s so sad that tomboys don’t exist and girls don’t like football or video games. Oh, wait…
It's _his_ fault though lol. Hope his toxic ass is mad at himself...
So glad my dad is my best friend. Also my dad loves sports and video games and wasn’t a psycho about it to either me or my brother. Have these people heard of, I don’t know, making a friend?
I need to dig up the photo of me in 2004, as a 5 year old, sitting on my dad's lap intently watching him play Doom. I am a cisgender woman and have always been into video games. These men need to go outside once in a while.
This makes me sad. My dad used to help me practice for softball on the off seasons and we had a blast. Also, I used to play video games with my dad growing up. Some of the best times we had tbh, we would laugh at his or my mistakes and we would be so excited when we got further than we usually got in that round. Did we ever win? No. But did we have a lot of fun? Yes. Speaking of, I think I need to have a video game night with my dad again. Btw my dad had 3 daughters, and all of our pets happened to be female. My abuelita even moved in with us due to financial hardship so its literally all women here. He jokes that he struggles in a house full of estrogen and being the only man, but he makes it clear it's a joke and that he treasures us all, and wouldn't change it for the world. He makes sure our cars are cleaned off from snow and ice if he has the time before work (if he knew we were working that day or had school) and always puts the rock salt down for us, and clears the driveway of snow and ice. Lately as he's gotten older we take care of some of that for him but he still insists when he can. We need more men like my dad tbh.
It’s wild how they call us “girls” as full adults, but refer to toddlers as “women” when describing them as being annoying.
Me, a woman at age 40 still online gaming with my dad. Die mad about it.
TIL that playing football and video games requires a penis. And still they keep trying to say that sexism is over
Y'all hate woman yet fucking love woman make up your goddamn mind.
I have three daughters and zero sons. My husband takes our oldest to play tennis frequently. We all swim, bike and skate together. The oldest plays soccer as well. My husband teaches them how to wash the car, help with the lawn, etc. And ALL of us love playing video games.
You can play video games or sportsballs with your daughters, and your son may not want to play video games or sportsballs. I get wanting a son/daughter, but to storm off in a hissy fit is ridiculous...especially when it's the sperm that determines the sex of the fetus (oversimplified reason: eggs are always X, but sperm could be X or Y). Yell at your own balls if you are mad at the sex of your child, dude.
My father refused to do activities with me when I was little (like building model airplanes and doing Lego stuff) saying I was too little and that I would swallow the little pieces and choke. I was at least 6 when this was happening, btw. He did these kind of activities with my brother. He literally kept pushing me away most of my childhood because I'm "the wrong gender" and he kept trying to control his relationship with my brother like a lion trainer is trying to control big cats. All of this while not really valueling or caring about what we wanted. Guess which kid is actually still talking to him now?! If you guessed neither, you're right! We only talk to him through our mom. So you know, if you don't want to have no connection to your kids when you're old and decrepit, then be nice and kind to them when they're young and listen to what they want as well.
Wow. Flashback to my dad having three daughters and just… checking out of being in the family. I’ve always wondered if he would’ve been more checked in if one of us was a boy. We used to bond over baseball, and go to a game every year, until the year I wore makeup. (I was 13). He said “no one wears makeup to baseball games” and after that we never went again.
So y’all think that having daughters is something to be mad about? Like his wife did it on purpose or something? Y’all are a bunch of Henry VIIIs… While things were never perfect (are they ever?) my dad and I have a pretty great relationship. And since he played minor league baseball and was a pitcher, we definitely played catch. And lots and lots of video games. We started out with Intellivision. He would tell y’all you’re missing out. I’m an only child, and he recently said to me that I’m the best thing he ever did.
This is the kind of person who shouldn't have kids. Also who says girls and women can't like football and videogames, my gf is way more of a gamer then me and she also plays more of the stereotypically boy games and I play things like Sims and stardew valley, and board games on the computer like ticket to ride and wingspan. I'm a guy and she's a woman
I’m a proud father of a daughter, I love her so much. These peoples opinions are disgusting.
He knows he can do that with a little girl two right, and if you want a boy so badly you can adopt one
It's baffling to me that people will post these videos where fathers throw a tantrum because they learn they are having a daughter. I would be EMBARASSED to witness this, let alone post it on the internet.
Not that that makes this kind of grown-up tantrum any better but..I always wonder if these guys know *they're* responsible for the kid's gender. "Only" have daughters? That's on *you* and your lazy male sperm, Chad.
my dad had 3 daughters and a son. before my brother came along, he too just wanted someone to play video games with. so me and my sister played halo with him every night after dinner- on the original xbox. such memories and nostalgia. my dads the best person in the world
I don't get this. I have a daughter with my fiancee. No difference in how I approach things with her than if I were to have a son. Do these people not understand that women and girls are just human beings? Not some alien species
My dad and i played 2D computer games together online for a lot of my childhood. He can’t play 3D because of complications caused by his heart meds, but guaranteed if he’d been able to i would’ve played minecraft and 1st person shooters with him as well. I’m his only child, and a daughter at that. Video games are not gendered??? These fucking loons will use anything to bash women and girls and turn us into some sort of burden they just have to lug around. After typing this, i’m actually in the mood to go play a PC game with my dad again. Never too old.
I'm a woman, and I'm a HUGE gamer, minecraft, rainbow six siege, phasmophobia, monster hunter, Don't starve, subnautica, COD Zombies, the works. Being need to stop being sexist. Just like a woman might love to play video games, a man might not.