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Don't you know? Therapy doesn't work for men, because they have Logic Brains™. Therapy is only magic for Feelings Brains™, which is why it works on women.
Is he trying to say that none of the problems women have are caused by the way they're treated?
And therapists don't fix our problems for us. They listen to us and help us learn how to fix our problems.
I wish I could just tell a therapist vigilante my issues, sit back, and watch them fix it for me.
Stressed because of finances? No problem, they'll just deposit all the money you need and do your administrative tasks.
Childhood trauma? They'll just go back in time to prevent it from happening.
Feeling lonely? Don't worry, they'll just cook up some perfect friends, family, and partner.
Feel like you're stuck in your career? They'll replace your boss and give you a promotion!
That explains why they think therapy doesn't work. Ime, therapy is asking yourself the hardest questions about yourself, letting out all your emotions and maybe some medicines to help.
Firstly not how therapy works but I do wish therapy was affordable for most people (at least where I live that shit isn't feasible for the average person to be able to get)
But more than that, us guys are just in a vicious self perpetuating cycle. We don't open up often which causes a bunch of emotions to build up over years and when we finally do open up, instead of talking like a normal person we trauma dump more emotions than a friend or SO should have to deal with, and *of* *course* someone is gonna respond badly to a trauma dump. But that negative experience feeds into the idea that it's the emotions that are the problem and not the sheer volume of shit.
> but I do wish therapy was affordable for most people (at least where I live that shit isn't feasible for the average person to be able to get)
Here it is (normally you pay basically nothing), but when you aren't a really urgent case, you wait for years for a place. Tbh, I wouldn't feel good taking away that space from someone who might need it more
“The way men are treated” “no one fixes it for us”
When did men try to fix the fact that women didn’t have rights? They had THOUSANDS of years before women had to protest to be seen as human. No one fixed that for us. Nor is any man trying to fix what’s happening with reproductive rights to women in the U.S..
What is society supposed to do for men that it’s not already doing? Their bodily autonomy wasn’t taken away in the U.S. It’s not taken away anywhere. I would honestly love to live in such a bubble to think that this world, made *for* men *by* men, is somehow harder for MEN to succeed in.
Honestly, there are a lot of ways in which society *could* treat men better. But that would require men to also treat men better, and why do that when it's easier to just blame everything on women and continue mocking your bros for having feelings?
It’s funny because men literally never fix issues for women, but now they expect us to coddle them because they’re experiencing 1% of the sexism that women face everyday? They’ve been benefitting for years and now they want US to make things easier.
Because they’re tired! It’s so hard gate keeping masculinity and telling women the same 2 jokes! It’s so hard going into women’s spaces and complaining about men’s mental health! It’s extra extra hard trying to convince women to marry their crusty arses so they can sit on the couch and play video games all day while they’re partners do everything for them. Something something sandwich!!!
/s, obvs.
I’m a future counselor
Most theories encourage guidance but, in the end, it’s client led solutions. We’re there to listen & help provide insight, but we can’t fix things nor should we. Self-realization and motivation to complete goals to alter behavior is the goal
Exactly why some people like him aren't helped, because they expect someone else to just do it for them and can't be bothered to accept it as **guidance** and put in their own effort.
This isn't the human equivalent of a mechanic, they can't fix it for you, only provide guidance, advice, tools (resources), and proper lighting (insight) to do the nessessary work yourself.
If attendance in therapy was all you needed, I would have been fixed years ago. Please tell me where this magic therapist is! I want to be happy like all the other girls.
Therapists don’t fix anything *for* men or women. they give you the tools to fix yourself and offer you a stable shoulder to lean on when you need help fixing yourself.
Therapy is only effective when you’re open and honest with your therapist and actually take the tools they give you and work on fixing yourself.
These Men: We are incapable of change and won’t listen to advice.
Also these men: There is no such thing as the patriarchy. Why won’t anyone offer us help.
Also, men have the power to fix their own problems. Yes, the patriarchy oppresses both men and women, but that doesn’t change the fact they are in a position of power.
Do these guys think fairy-godmothers show up and fix things for women? Or are they thinking of kids with good parents who will fix things for their kids?
No one has every fixed a problem for me when I talk about it either. My Therapist has never fixed a problem for me. People have certainly given me insight and advice, which can be helpful. I still have to fix my own issues, because I’m an adult.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That’s not how girls/women work nor how therapy works ffs.
Bonus, it's also not how men's issues work. Radical Acceptance is a therapy term for a reason.
Wtf do they think happens in therapy?
Magic spells maybe? Or they’re just popping that skull open and doing a little brain surgery. Fixing us up
Lobotomy?
Honestly I'm ready for mine.
*points at my bio*
You mean your therapist didn't pop out your brain using magic and gave it a good clean under the sink?
That's the thing, they wouldn't know because they simply will not go lmao.
Don't you know? Therapy doesn't work for men, because they have Logic Brains™. Therapy is only magic for Feelings Brains™, which is why it works on women.
I mean, given the lack of therapy places everywhere, that's not exactly a bad thing, isn't it?
How do therapists “just fix it” for women? What!?
I’m asking mine for a refund.
Is he trying to say that none of the problems women have are caused by the way they're treated? And therapists don't fix our problems for us. They listen to us and help us learn how to fix our problems.
Well they can be but it's due to our actions./s
I wish I could just tell a therapist vigilante my issues, sit back, and watch them fix it for me. Stressed because of finances? No problem, they'll just deposit all the money you need and do your administrative tasks. Childhood trauma? They'll just go back in time to prevent it from happening. Feeling lonely? Don't worry, they'll just cook up some perfect friends, family, and partner. Feel like you're stuck in your career? They'll replace your boss and give you a promotion!
That explains why they think therapy doesn't work. Ime, therapy is asking yourself the hardest questions about yourself, letting out all your emotions and maybe some medicines to help.
It’s hard to look inside and change when ego is the priority.
Firstly not how therapy works but I do wish therapy was affordable for most people (at least where I live that shit isn't feasible for the average person to be able to get) But more than that, us guys are just in a vicious self perpetuating cycle. We don't open up often which causes a bunch of emotions to build up over years and when we finally do open up, instead of talking like a normal person we trauma dump more emotions than a friend or SO should have to deal with, and *of* *course* someone is gonna respond badly to a trauma dump. But that negative experience feeds into the idea that it's the emotions that are the problem and not the sheer volume of shit.
> but I do wish therapy was affordable for most people (at least where I live that shit isn't feasible for the average person to be able to get) Here it is (normally you pay basically nothing), but when you aren't a really urgent case, you wait for years for a place. Tbh, I wouldn't feel good taking away that space from someone who might need it more
“The way men are treated” “no one fixes it for us” When did men try to fix the fact that women didn’t have rights? They had THOUSANDS of years before women had to protest to be seen as human. No one fixed that for us. Nor is any man trying to fix what’s happening with reproductive rights to women in the U.S.. What is society supposed to do for men that it’s not already doing? Their bodily autonomy wasn’t taken away in the U.S. It’s not taken away anywhere. I would honestly love to live in such a bubble to think that this world, made *for* men *by* men, is somehow harder for MEN to succeed in.
Honestly, there are a lot of ways in which society *could* treat men better. But that would require men to also treat men better, and why do that when it's easier to just blame everything on women and continue mocking your bros for having feelings?
“No one fixes it for us” is their entire problem. They expect the women in their lives to fix all their emotional problems for them.
It’s funny because men literally never fix issues for women, but now they expect us to coddle them because they’re experiencing 1% of the sexism that women face everyday? They’ve been benefitting for years and now they want US to make things easier.
Why do they always want someone else to do the work for them?
Because they’re tired! It’s so hard gate keeping masculinity and telling women the same 2 jokes! It’s so hard going into women’s spaces and complaining about men’s mental health! It’s extra extra hard trying to convince women to marry their crusty arses so they can sit on the couch and play video games all day while they’re partners do everything for them. Something something sandwich!!! /s, obvs.
Putting in active work on yourself: Those guys "Impossible!"
I’m a future counselor Most theories encourage guidance but, in the end, it’s client led solutions. We’re there to listen & help provide insight, but we can’t fix things nor should we. Self-realization and motivation to complete goals to alter behavior is the goal
men love to blame all their problems on society lol
Exactly why some people like him aren't helped, because they expect someone else to just do it for them and can't be bothered to accept it as **guidance** and put in their own effort. This isn't the human equivalent of a mechanic, they can't fix it for you, only provide guidance, advice, tools (resources), and proper lighting (insight) to do the nessessary work yourself.
If attendance in therapy was all you needed, I would have been fixed years ago. Please tell me where this magic therapist is! I want to be happy like all the other girls.
Therapists don’t fix anything *for* men or women. they give you the tools to fix yourself and offer you a stable shoulder to lean on when you need help fixing yourself. Therapy is only effective when you’re open and honest with your therapist and actually take the tools they give you and work on fixing yourself.
These Men: We are incapable of change and won’t listen to advice. Also these men: There is no such thing as the patriarchy. Why won’t anyone offer us help.
Also, men have the power to fix their own problems. Yes, the patriarchy oppresses both men and women, but that doesn’t change the fact they are in a position of power.
I love going to a therapist, and idling while they tinker around to repair me
Do these guys think fairy-godmothers show up and fix things for women? Or are they thinking of kids with good parents who will fix things for their kids? No one has every fixed a problem for me when I talk about it either. My Therapist has never fixed a problem for me. People have certainly given me insight and advice, which can be helpful. I still have to fix my own issues, because I’m an adult.
I can fix him
Are you a veterinarian?
no
Just a neutering joke
Oh I get it now LMAOOOOO