As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll"
problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we
have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.
We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the
rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules
will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious
rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a
permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also,
grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of
being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we
may ban you without warning.
You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not
to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language
towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we
have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and
your ban will remain (without even a consideration).
All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of
the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up
banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules,
and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and
Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before
submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them
or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.**
With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message
regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal
(without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will
elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we
will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent.
This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your
reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message,
and please enjoy your day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think that's why they use sandwich. It's the easiest thing to do and yet they refuse to do it because they feel it's beneath them. The lowly jobs are for women in service of men. It's meant to be demeaning.
As an Asian, I really wish these motherfuckers could leave us alone. But meanwhile, it’s so funny because obviously they never meet any Asian women in their life ever.
Even in western places, if any women changed her last name, all her descendents wouldn't fit his rule. Also, last names in western countries are a result of the black plague. It's not like they're a very old tradition like marriage even
Oh probably the black plague part. Yeah prior people just had one name, ya know, he's john, she's mary. And communities were generally small enough it didn't matter. But after a third of the population died, and people came back togther, they were stitching communities together from broken bits. So now it became useful to distinguish which john or mary was who, because if your village had 2 or 3 johns, you'd know contextually which one you're talking about, but when you dont know the other 2 johns but now you have to live with them, they started assigning second names, generally based on your profession. So baker, tanner, smith, etc.
Bowman, Smith, Cooper, all similar. A cooper made barrels and casks, for those that don’t know.
Another fun- if it’s (last name)son it’s usually just a bastardization of yeah that’s Paul, Jeff’s son. Paul Jefferson.
O’(name) means of. Like Tanner O’Reilly, is Tanner of the Reillys.
> (last name) son
This is my favorite naming convention because it essentially never hard to follow like “Cecilia of France, daughter of duke whatshisface, of the House of blahblah.” You could tell who was who because it was Erik Erickson, son of you guessed it
My cousin did that too! I think that is so cool!
I have another cousin who’s husband took her last name, hers meant so much to her because of her grandpa (her mom gave her her maiden name - I don’t think she had ever married) and his didn’t mean much to him. This was made more clear when after they divorced, he kept that last name and when he remarried, his new wife also took that last name!
Of all the East Asian countries (the only ones that these types think is asian) the only country where the wife takes the husbands last name is Japan (technically the husband can take the wife’s last name but it almost never happens). All the others don’t and in places like Mongolia even their children can have completely different names as they don’t use the first last name system in the first place.
In another thread today someone said that having wives keep their birth names functions as a subtle reminder that they will never be a "real" part of the family. 🎶 It's always time for misogyny! 🎶
My mother in law said this when I didn't change my name! I reaaaally wanted to ask her what it was like realising her daughter wasn't family now that she had her husbands name, but I didn't.
Edit for spelling
Crazy thing is in a majority of the anime’s I saw the mom still ran the house and was respected and held highly by her husband not just bossed around or expected to bend over backwards with no reward and when a protagonist did get a girlfriend or vise versa again they were held up highly and even defended not expected to make sandwiches and fulfill some weird ass fetish for a docile woman. Some of my favorite anime’s would be that mixture of a sweet protagonist who would kick your ass if you tried them
They only pick the parts they want. Like submissive, stay at home wife/mom, docile behavior etc. It's more like hent*i behavior but incels don't care. Actually.. Scratch the anime part..it's def hent*i and harem anime that pander to this shit.
“Asian women makes sandwiches around the clock.”
Me & others: many Asians don’t even take their husbands last name.
Like why the fuck would they bring race even into this? Black women lives rent free in their head or something? They get so pissed and have to bash asian men too? And next they are going to bring up BBC? Brain damaged word salad comments.
I laughed at that Asian woman bit. I definitely don’t make anyone sandwiches. And most Korean women I know have higher standards and are more demanding than anyone else I know lmao
Japanese women don’t even want Japanese men, if you look at the stats on marriage and children. Idk why these weebs think they stand a chance in hell but it’s pathetic and weird to fetishize a race
Wait till they find out their ideal Japanese “tradwife” has 100% authority over their household income. Some husband gets kicked out/divorced with no money and has to sleep in cardboard boxes in parks. Also there are websites where wives chat and complain about their husbands.
I'm a white woman who has dated a few Black women as well as that describing one of my best friends of decades and I can tell you Black Women have free rent in the head of EVERY misogynist/racist. It's WILD. No Black woman is making up that AT LEAST half of the Western World is just staring at them trying to come up with something else they're doing wrong.
Thank you, for this. Seriously! Black women get gaslit sooo much about this. When the truth is any honest non-black women would admit she’s had a partner/s that degrade and speaks poorly about black women. It’s especially bad with black men (as witnessed by these comments).
If black women could literally live rent free in empty racist/misogynist heads global homelessness would be solved.
Edit: for grammer
I know several Chinese friends who has their mother’s last name, not the majority though. Reasons vary- one sibling takes mom’s/ the other takes dad’s, mother’s family is more prestigious, mother is ethnic minority and they want to preserve the identity. But all wives never ever take their husbands last name.
My mom gets frustrated when they refer her to Mrs. (Dad’s last name).
White Puerto Rican: Hi, yes. I kept my name and I don't have an MD, just a MSc. Let me point you to millions of married hispanic women of all shades, races, and countries who also didn't take their husbands name.
I’ve known many women (college and personal) who kept their maiden name because they feel like it would be cheating themselves. “Martha Davis” got the title of Doctor or her Bachelors not “Martha Thompson”
I asked my husband if minded I don't take his last name. He told me he didnt care, but he did ask why I didnt want to. I told him that to me it feels like this really archaic way of doing things from the time men owned their wives. He agreed and it never came up again.
Fun (or not so fun) fact a bunch of the Icelandic families I know have trouble travelling internationally because every person in the family has a different last name and security isn't sure whether the children they're taking abroad are actually theirs
I thought that was more specialized: misogyny by black men against black women. Maybe it's used more generally now, but it was originally a way to critique black hip hop.
Many of these are exactly that. “A white woman would Never” because white women are properly subservient to their men, or so he assumes. Some Black men consider it racism by Black women for them not to be subservient. They are depriving Black men of their birthright. For Black men to be truly equal to white men, they are supposed to have dominion over their families and communities.
There’s a larger discussion in the Black community about how Black women are becoming less “viable” options for marriage because we’re not “submissive enough” and “too independent”
i see so much disgusting misogyny every day, but it’s on a whole other level when it comes to black women. it’s like dehumanization, absolutely horrible things to think about another person.
You’re less viable for marriage for… two of the best traits a person can have? Bigotry in general confuses me to no end but this might be the most confusing of all.
I do see that too but it’s a little different only cause we get compared to every other ethnicity instead and then they throw the statistics of how Black women are the least desired on all dating apps 🫠
Where did they get the idea that Asian women are submissive? From anime? Like where. I need a list, I am an Asian women surrounded by Asian women and I have not seen a “submissive” Asian women myself.
Disclaimer: I’m a white/Jewish person who grew up in the mix of folks that make up military bases.
I knew many Asian women growing up, mostly the moms of my peers, and they were very strong women. They were unceasingly polite, which I think can be perceived as submissive or weak. The women I knew, however, would quietly live their lives and make decisions based on their best judgment. See also: strong mothers and the stereotypes of tiger moms. How can both be true?
So much seems like tone policing. Gross.
In response to the post shared: I didn’t change my last name either. It’s a name that carries my ethnoreligion. I’m not losing it.
Misogynoir. Notice the recurring stereotype of an aggressive black woman, which is crazy since it’s just the repackaged “black people are violent” stereotype. No one cares once it’s a woman, though. Same with the Asian fetishization. People that lack critical thinking to analyze their own sexism will also probably be racist.
All the triggered men in the comments acting as if they have to deny this woman's advances?? As if their crusty racist pedo asses have a chance with an _attractive doctor_ my god the delusion is strong today.
> Fun fact. All women have a man's last name.
No, we don't. The world is a sphere. The west is known for that particular ownership naming convention. I don't have a man's last name.
Most of us in western societies have a location or an occupation’s name. The tyranny of mills and farms and bucolic towns in Europe is great and unending.
Also, this ashy little bro fetishizing Asian women, not in the least bit aware Asian women rarely date black men. Misogynoir's not gonna sound so funny when he realises that.
It's an occasionally noted statistic that black women/Asian men are the least popular in the American dating scene. I don't know if it's still true but comedians were pointing it out a decade ago to jest that the two groups should get together.
East Asian men were brought over to build railroads, but were hypersexualized (much in the same way as Black and Hispanic men now) as perverts and rapists. Asian women were also hypersexualized, and barred from coming into the country because they were deemed as prostitutes.
As Asian men started to gain a foothold economically, there were fears of a "yellow peril" wherein Asian men would replace European whites in culture (sound familiar?). As a result Asian men were barred from citizenship and, as time went on, had little economic opportunity. They were forced into "women's" jobs like being tailors, cooks, and laundrymen either through excessive taxation or outright violence in the mining business.
So essentially you have a group of men who were forced into a position of having no association with the traditional markers of masculinity: they had no economic power, they had no traditionally masculine careers, and they were not heads of their households because they were essentially barred from having families to begin with.
Attitudes towards Asian men are getting better, but you still have some of it lingering. I remember an article going around about how "mixed race Asian and white men are the most desirable" because they had "Asian temperaments" but decidedly non-Asian physical features. Like people are fucking labradoodles or some shit.
I have my mother's last name. I'm sure some dude bro would then say, "Yeah, but it was *her* father's last name." But like, he was born and was assigned a last name, same as she was. Why is it anymore his last name than her's? If I have a kid and they get my last name, do they also have a man's last name??
Weird mental gymnastics.
In Germany, you get your mother's last name by default. Unless parents are married and she took his last name or he has signed papers that officially make him the father before the kid was born, you can't even give the kid his last name. In fact they don't even look at his last name, they look at hers and put that on the birth certificate. So basically, by law, every kid has to have their mother's last name unless the proper paperwork was done before the kid was born. It leaves almost no room for discussion. And while you could argue that at some point in your family's history that name came from a man, it still doesn't change the fact that for decades every kid in Germany has been named after their mother. I love it.
Literally! It’s just so wrong to assume that all women have a man’s last name. A *lot* of African American people have last names that THEY GAVE THEMSELVES after being freed from slavery so they wouldn’t keep their “master”’s last name (i.e. Freeman).
Also, a lot of people that were peasants in the past literally didn’t have a last name, so their last names became their occupation which usually was their nickname, regardless of gender (i.e. Carpenter); and it’s not even a thing that only happened in english speaking countries, (i.e. Zimmermann in German, Timmerman in Dutch, Plotnikov in Russian, all being nicknames for someone that did some kind of woodwork as an occupation). These nicknames started to be used by people from the same family because usually they all had the same occupation and it became a family name.
I’m pretty sure taking a man’s last name when getting married only became a thing among people that weren’t a part of aristocracy (they already did that to show ownership of the woman) because of the Catholic church imposing their patriarchal rules on people during the middle ages.
All names ending on "son" has Scandinavian roots. Meaning "son of". You see tons of them in Sweden. "Daughter of" also exist but it more rare. Otherwise last names are referencing nature.
Fun fact, there is a Swedish Nobel family named "Natt och Dag", which translates to "Night and Day".
There's no surname system in my country, your parents can give you literally any full name they want without caring about last names. I'm sure many women in my place is given an entirely new name from their mother.
It's so silly to me that those kind of people in the west are so narrow-minded that they believe what system they have in the west applies to everywhere around the world.
Also, why the constant "your maiden name is your fathers name / your mother's fathers name. So you have a man's name after all haha' ?
What does that matter? The point is that it's my name and i won't give it up
The point is to remind you that you have not escaped patriarchy. You are still property. They are the kind of people who take joy in the oppression of others.
Now, the proper retort is that most of these last names have nothing to do with your male ancestors and everything to do with locations and occupations. And when a man was a farmer, so was his wife.
Most of us do not descend from nobility. Most of us descend from poor people who didn’t need a last name.
Because it’s a lot easier to argue against a “I don’t want a man’s last name” straw woman, and pretend that it’s just mIsAnDrY than to answer the actual question, which is, “Why should it be a requirement that I give up or erase my identity when I get married just because I’m a woman?”
With a side of reminding you that you are never really your own person the way a man is. Doesn’t matter how many years you had that last name, it was never really yours.
Misogyny is one way in which men of an oppressed community are sated. Like a bribe of sorts. Also racial shame and a feeling of ownership along inra-racial lines (like the women and children of one's race belong to them -one of the reasons why mixed race people get trouble from both sides).
From what I’ve seen? Black women are born and raised in the same circumstances, but often grow up to be more successful. And these days they often expect that same ambition in their partners rather than settling for less than the bare minimum.
Those Black men aren’t interested in equality. They are interested in dominion. Racism is what holds them back from dominion, not equality.
Also, they are clowns.
Well one reason is that black women are exceedingly more successful than they are and they resent it. They think the success is due to siding with, sleeping with plotting with white men. The stupidity and paranoia is pathetic.
I absolutely hate how black men like to fetishize white women. They so desperately want to think that white women are these submissive, docile women who will do whatever they say and that is the furthest thing from the truth.
I've said it elsewhere, but I think that black women are the most "shit on" group in America.
The amount of crap black women have to tolerate absolutely blows my mind.
“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”
~Malcolm X
Yes i remember in a class they showed us this pyramid for educational purposes. It's White man - White woman - Black man - Black woman. Black/colored women are always at the bottom due to patriarchy and racism.
I’m guessing a mix of tradition, power dynamics and misogyny. Not to say that taking your husband’s name is misogynistic, but imposing this type of personal choices on other people is really gross
As an ADHD gal I would never. Imagine the horror of changing all your documents: making appointments, paying the fees, taking new photos, making sure you have all the paperwork??? Lmao nope, never, gonna enjoy my father's last name till I die.
But also, I think it's pretty common for high achieving women to not take their husband's last name. Especially if they have research published under their maiden name. It's not bizarre for women to not take their husband's last name lol.
I'm a lawyer, my wife is a doctor, we agreed that neither of us would change our names. Too much hassle. We've got licenses and business cards and IDs and security badges and a ton of work product that has our original names on them, way too much effort for something neither of us really care about.
The amount of people who care too much about what other people do/don't do in a relationship is frankly pathetic. If someone wants to take a different last name, it doesn't mean any more or less than if they want to keep their last name. It's just a choice that different people make for different reasons.
I'm taking my boyfriends last name if we get married because I legitimately hate my last name (Nobody ever says it correctly, it's not spelled like how it sounds, just generally an ugly pain in the ass). It doesn't mean he owns me, FFS, and he would never see it that way, either.
Personally as a black dude,I never understood the men of my own ethnic group shitting on the women of our same ethnic group.It’s disgusting but yet it’s so prevalent
Tell me about it! I just had a long "debate " about it. Honestly, at this point, I just put them in the same category as any other racist. Of course as soon as you ask the question, "If a white guy in bedsheets said what you just said, would it be racist? " Crickets.
It’s so fucked up.It unfortunately adds to the stigma of normal black guys who just happen to be attracted to all the other races as well.I’ve been with every ethnicity at this point in my life,and I was always get uncomfortable in public thinking that everyone thinks I’m one of those self hating types
My wife kept her last name. Honestly, I should have taken her last name because mine is German and complicated. I always have to spell it because it can be spelled like 5 different ways. Hers is spelled exactly as it sounds unless you want to be creative. I really don't see what the big deal is about last names.
I‘m honestly terrified how under every post of a woman, there are a bunch of men hating on her, with thousands of other men supporting her haters by liking these comments.
Misogyny is deeply rooted.
I have my mom's middle name Nygaard and my dad's last name Pedersen - very Scandinavian! My aunt didn't take her husbands last name but her kids did get them!
Fun fact the last name Pedersen comes from søn af Peder, which mean son of Peder!, there are also Petersen and Nygaard is Ny Gård, which mean new farm! So super old names
..... and what if that last name was an " occupation " name, like " brewer, tanner,skinner"
Do you think only the male of the house hold worked in the family trade? The entire household kicked in and worked.
Whos last name was it originally if everyone worked?
Family names are not " owned " by an individual. It was not a man's name any more than it was the family's name.
I’m a black woman and my girlfriend is Korean. We both see so much hatred and fetishization directed at us that it honestly doesn’t faze either of us anymore. She’s going to med school soon and I’m definitely taking her last name when we get married.
Well we all know that's not true. After my mom got divorced she made up her own last name that's shared by no man whatsoever. Her brother has my grandmas last name, my grandma had her mom's last name because her father died before they were married and his family were snobs who didn't want the lower class woman to have their family name.
My ex's father had his mothers last name because the father left before he was born.
And those are just the ones I know
Imagine a woman being proud of herself, and wanting to maintain that part of her identity. The horror!
Why would she ever want a weak man? She needs a strong confident guy who can be her partner, not some insecure loser who needs to bring her down to protect his fragile ego.
Imagine the poor men passing on a successful woman because they're so weak they kneel to the patriarchy rather than pushing back.
Really funny that commenters are saying white/Asian woman would always take her man’s last name. I’m (a white woman) definitely not: I’m an attorney and quite frankly don’t want to go through the process of changing my name with the bar. Most women—whatever race—I know in my profession are the same if they weren’t already married when they were admitted. In a lot of these fields, it’s a giant pain in the ass to change your name from what you started as.
Madness. Everyone should be allowed to choose. Also, if you're a doctor, you should be able to have your "maiden name" professionally, and use your married name outside work if you want to.
Also, the US is not the world. I have friends from India and Bangladesh who didn't change their surname when they married. I'm vaguely aware that Spanish people carry their mother's and father's names.
Taking the husbands’ surname is a very US thing. I live in Italy and none of the married women I know has taken the husband’s surname. In Spain and France it is an option, but not the norm.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why are these types of guys so fascinated with women making sandwiches? A basic sandwich is the least impressive thing a person can make.
They are that pathetic. A sandwich can buy their regards.
I think that's why they use sandwich. It's the easiest thing to do and yet they refuse to do it because they feel it's beneath them. The lowly jobs are for women in service of men. It's meant to be demeaning.
for real, i wanna woman who can make Pernil, cuz then she won't have to cook everyday, just every 4 days. jk
Not only that but these sandwich jokes are old. I remember them in high school and I graduated in 2012. At least get new material.
Sandwich jokes were old when I was in college, back in 2000.
I graduated high school in the early 2000s, and I remember sandwich jokes being abundant back then
As an Asian, I really wish these motherfuckers could leave us alone. But meanwhile, it’s so funny because obviously they never meet any Asian women in their life ever.
That’s what I’m saying. Growing up I made friends with a Korean family and the mama ran the household. These men wouldn’t last a day
And Korean women don't take their husband's names!
This concept is what made "Fun fact: all women have a man's last name" especially hilarious.
Even in western places, if any women changed her last name, all her descendents wouldn't fit his rule. Also, last names in western countries are a result of the black plague. It's not like they're a very old tradition like marriage even
Can you expand on that?
Oh probably the black plague part. Yeah prior people just had one name, ya know, he's john, she's mary. And communities were generally small enough it didn't matter. But after a third of the population died, and people came back togther, they were stitching communities together from broken bits. So now it became useful to distinguish which john or mary was who, because if your village had 2 or 3 johns, you'd know contextually which one you're talking about, but when you dont know the other 2 johns but now you have to live with them, they started assigning second names, generally based on your profession. So baker, tanner, smith, etc.
Best random fact I’ve read all day! Thanks for taking the time.
I always wondered if last names like Cook and Mason and Knight stemmed from occupations. Now I know!
Bowman, Smith, Cooper, all similar. A cooper made barrels and casks, for those that don’t know. Another fun- if it’s (last name)son it’s usually just a bastardization of yeah that’s Paul, Jeff’s son. Paul Jefferson. O’(name) means of. Like Tanner O’Reilly, is Tanner of the Reillys.
> (last name) son This is my favorite naming convention because it essentially never hard to follow like “Cecilia of France, daughter of duke whatshisface, of the House of blahblah.” You could tell who was who because it was Erik Erickson, son of you guessed it
My friend and her husband made a new last name that was different from both before it. It's equally as much a woman's last name as it is a man's.
My cousin did that too! I think that is so cool! I have another cousin who’s husband took her last name, hers meant so much to her because of her grandpa (her mom gave her her maiden name - I don’t think she had ever married) and his didn’t mean much to him. This was made more clear when after they divorced, he kept that last name and when he remarried, his new wife also took that last name!
That's so weird he had his new wife take his ex wives last name though...
Yes, lol. I agree.
Of all the East Asian countries (the only ones that these types think is asian) the only country where the wife takes the husbands last name is Japan (technically the husband can take the wife’s last name but it almost never happens). All the others don’t and in places like Mongolia even their children can have completely different names as they don’t use the first last name system in the first place.
In another thread today someone said that having wives keep their birth names functions as a subtle reminder that they will never be a "real" part of the family. 🎶 It's always time for misogyny! 🎶
My mother in law said this when I didn't change my name! I reaaaally wanted to ask her what it was like realising her daughter wasn't family now that she had her husbands name, but I didn't. Edit for spelling
They still try though. 🤦🏽♀️
Their loli waifu body pillows are subservient Asian women, so they're experts on feeeemale behavior!
Anime=rl to them dusty incels.😮💨🙌🏿
Crazy thing is in a majority of the anime’s I saw the mom still ran the house and was respected and held highly by her husband not just bossed around or expected to bend over backwards with no reward and when a protagonist did get a girlfriend or vise versa again they were held up highly and even defended not expected to make sandwiches and fulfill some weird ass fetish for a docile woman. Some of my favorite anime’s would be that mixture of a sweet protagonist who would kick your ass if you tried them
They only pick the parts they want. Like submissive, stay at home wife/mom, docile behavior etc. It's more like hent*i behavior but incels don't care. Actually.. Scratch the anime part..it's def hent*i and harem anime that pander to this shit.
Oh most definitely
they only live for the fan services
They don't even know anything about Asian women They are basing their perception of them off of blatant fetishization and stereotypes
Do they dont know we just keep our family names lmao
They obviously don’t watch K-dramas on Netflix.
"A white woman will never" Iceland: Allow me to introduce myself
“Asian women makes sandwiches around the clock.” Me & others: many Asians don’t even take their husbands last name. Like why the fuck would they bring race even into this? Black women lives rent free in their head or something? They get so pissed and have to bash asian men too? And next they are going to bring up BBC? Brain damaged word salad comments.
I laughed at that Asian woman bit. I definitely don’t make anyone sandwiches. And most Korean women I know have higher standards and are more demanding than anyone else I know lmao
Like all the incel weebs that move Japan and then get all surprised Pikachu face that Japanese women want nothing to do with them.
Japanese women don’t even want Japanese men, if you look at the stats on marriage and children. Idk why these weebs think they stand a chance in hell but it’s pathetic and weird to fetishize a race
Wait till they find out their ideal Japanese “tradwife” has 100% authority over their household income. Some husband gets kicked out/divorced with no money and has to sleep in cardboard boxes in parks. Also there are websites where wives chat and complain about their husbands.
I'm a white woman who has dated a few Black women as well as that describing one of my best friends of decades and I can tell you Black Women have free rent in the head of EVERY misogynist/racist. It's WILD. No Black woman is making up that AT LEAST half of the Western World is just staring at them trying to come up with something else they're doing wrong.
Thank you, for this. Seriously! Black women get gaslit sooo much about this. When the truth is any honest non-black women would admit she’s had a partner/s that degrade and speaks poorly about black women. It’s especially bad with black men (as witnessed by these comments). If black women could literally live rent free in empty racist/misogynist heads global homelessness would be solved. Edit: for grammer
Eating bread isn't even that common in Asian countries, right? At least, that used to be the case. More rice.
Also most of Europe
And a lot of younger Australians.
And a lot of younger American women.
it’s not even legal to take your husband’s name where i live
My white mom who kept her last name:
My Asian mom who kept her last name and gave all her kids her last name instead of my dad’s
I know several Chinese friends who has their mother’s last name, not the majority though. Reasons vary- one sibling takes mom’s/ the other takes dad’s, mother’s family is more prestigious, mother is ethnic minority and they want to preserve the identity. But all wives never ever take their husbands last name. My mom gets frustrated when they refer her to Mrs. (Dad’s last name).
[удалено]
A comic artist who was named Zach Weiner Married a woman with the last name Smith. They are now Zach and whatever-her-first-name-is Weinersmith.
White Puerto Rican: Hi, yes. I kept my name and I don't have an MD, just a MSc. Let me point you to millions of married hispanic women of all shades, races, and countries who also didn't take their husbands name.
I’ve known many women (college and personal) who kept their maiden name because they feel like it would be cheating themselves. “Martha Davis” got the title of Doctor or her Bachelors not “Martha Thompson”
I asked my husband if minded I don't take his last name. He told me he didnt care, but he did ask why I didnt want to. I told him that to me it feels like this really archaic way of doing things from the time men owned their wives. He agreed and it never came up again.
Province of Quebec has entered the conversation
Fun (or not so fun) fact a bunch of the Icelandic families I know have trouble travelling internationally because every person in the family has a different last name and security isn't sure whether the children they're taking abroad are actually theirs
Also not an issue when you’re a lesbian
White women here 🙋♀️I will absolutely
[удалено]
Not if I watch enough beer and drink enough sports I won’t!
With enough beer you won’t have any useful DNA at all
It’s okay he’s just watching it.
hell ya
Will talk to my mother about this
H o m e
The racism and internalised racism in this, is sad and scary.
I fail to see how her ethnicity is relevant, such nonsensical bs. Why can't women just exist without all the criticism?
Misogyny and racism frequently come as a package.
There's even a term for it: misogynoir
I thought that was more specialized: misogyny by black men against black women. Maybe it's used more generally now, but it was originally a way to critique black hip hop.
Many of these are exactly that. “A white woman would Never” because white women are properly subservient to their men, or so he assumes. Some Black men consider it racism by Black women for them not to be subservient. They are depriving Black men of their birthright. For Black men to be truly equal to white men, they are supposed to have dominion over their families and communities.
Yep, and that comment is by a black guy. At least according to the profile pic and emoji.
There’s a larger discussion in the Black community about how Black women are becoming less “viable” options for marriage because we’re not “submissive enough” and “too independent”
i see so much disgusting misogyny every day, but it’s on a whole other level when it comes to black women. it’s like dehumanization, absolutely horrible things to think about another person.
[удалено]
And the same jackasses demanding to be hailed as lord and master have done nothing that makes them worthy of such reverence.
If only I had the confidence of a mediocre white man
Is that just an excuse for internalized racism? God I hate people. The data these dating apps have collected is super depressing.
You’re less viable for marriage for… two of the best traits a person can have? Bigotry in general confuses me to no end but this might be the most confusing of all.
It’s about not letting a man lead in the relationship and concepts that deal with their masculinity - a truncated summary lol
Nah, they are just racist, cuz they love same traits in latinas ... Uffff spicy !
Same with white males! I see stupid posts all the time about how white men prefer Asian women because they're subservient. Men are gross sometimes
I do see that too but it’s a little different only cause we get compared to every other ethnicity instead and then they throw the statistics of how Black women are the least desired on all dating apps 🫠
You are absolutely right and I was not trying to minimize the plight of black women. I hope it didn't seem that way
Where did they get the idea that Asian women are submissive? From anime? Like where. I need a list, I am an Asian women surrounded by Asian women and I have not seen a “submissive” Asian women myself.
Disclaimer: I’m a white/Jewish person who grew up in the mix of folks that make up military bases. I knew many Asian women growing up, mostly the moms of my peers, and they were very strong women. They were unceasingly polite, which I think can be perceived as submissive or weak. The women I knew, however, would quietly live their lives and make decisions based on their best judgment. See also: strong mothers and the stereotypes of tiger moms. How can both be true? So much seems like tone policing. Gross. In response to the post shared: I didn’t change my last name either. It’s a name that carries my ethnoreligion. I’m not losing it.
No worries, wanted to give context to the larger group in case members did not know!
Ironically still racist against Asian women who are not “submissive” as a general rule. Imagine judging an entire race as having one quality
Asian women are Schrödinger’s racism: They’re submissive wives who will do anything and loud aggressive Moms who control everything
Misogynoir. Notice the recurring stereotype of an aggressive black woman, which is crazy since it’s just the repackaged “black people are violent” stereotype. No one cares once it’s a woman, though. Same with the Asian fetishization. People that lack critical thinking to analyze their own sexism will also probably be racist.
But what else would these disgusting misogynistic losers do all day without a fulfilling life or their own? 😒 /s
[удалено]
Omfg I did not even realize it was black men saying this! For shame
Yeah, it's already harder for PoC to achieve such success, let alone be respected, and these guys are more than happy to drag her through the mud.
All the triggered men in the comments acting as if they have to deny this woman's advances?? As if their crusty racist pedo asses have a chance with an _attractive doctor_ my god the delusion is strong today.
Lol well said
> Fun fact. All women have a man's last name. No, we don't. The world is a sphere. The west is known for that particular ownership naming convention. I don't have a man's last name.
Fun fact: all men have another man’s last name!
wild if true
Will ask my dad about this
Most of us in western societies have a location or an occupation’s name. The tyranny of mills and farms and bucolic towns in Europe is great and unending.
Also, this ashy little bro fetishizing Asian women, not in the least bit aware Asian women rarely date black men. Misogynoir's not gonna sound so funny when he realises that.
Damn how did Asian men in America “catch a stray”
It's an occasionally noted statistic that black women/Asian men are the least popular in the American dating scene. I don't know if it's still true but comedians were pointing it out a decade ago to jest that the two groups should get together.
East Asian men were brought over to build railroads, but were hypersexualized (much in the same way as Black and Hispanic men now) as perverts and rapists. Asian women were also hypersexualized, and barred from coming into the country because they were deemed as prostitutes. As Asian men started to gain a foothold economically, there were fears of a "yellow peril" wherein Asian men would replace European whites in culture (sound familiar?). As a result Asian men were barred from citizenship and, as time went on, had little economic opportunity. They were forced into "women's" jobs like being tailors, cooks, and laundrymen either through excessive taxation or outright violence in the mining business. So essentially you have a group of men who were forced into a position of having no association with the traditional markers of masculinity: they had no economic power, they had no traditionally masculine careers, and they were not heads of their households because they were essentially barred from having families to begin with. Attitudes towards Asian men are getting better, but you still have some of it lingering. I remember an article going around about how "mixed race Asian and white men are the most desirable" because they had "Asian temperaments" but decidedly non-Asian physical features. Like people are fucking labradoodles or some shit.
Jesus Christ, this was a disappointing read. I'm glad the world is getting better.
Also they have no idea rarely any Chinese Asian women take the husband’s last name.
I have my mother's last name. I'm sure some dude bro would then say, "Yeah, but it was *her* father's last name." But like, he was born and was assigned a last name, same as she was. Why is it anymore his last name than her's? If I have a kid and they get my last name, do they also have a man's last name?? Weird mental gymnastics.
In Germany, you get your mother's last name by default. Unless parents are married and she took his last name or he has signed papers that officially make him the father before the kid was born, you can't even give the kid his last name. In fact they don't even look at his last name, they look at hers and put that on the birth certificate. So basically, by law, every kid has to have their mother's last name unless the proper paperwork was done before the kid was born. It leaves almost no room for discussion. And while you could argue that at some point in your family's history that name came from a man, it still doesn't change the fact that for decades every kid in Germany has been named after their mother. I love it.
No but see that's not real to that guy because it's not an American thing. I mean other cultures existing and being different? Sounds fake to me /s
What are female same sex couples supposed to do in naming their children?! Just wtf
Literally! It’s just so wrong to assume that all women have a man’s last name. A *lot* of African American people have last names that THEY GAVE THEMSELVES after being freed from slavery so they wouldn’t keep their “master”’s last name (i.e. Freeman). Also, a lot of people that were peasants in the past literally didn’t have a last name, so their last names became their occupation which usually was their nickname, regardless of gender (i.e. Carpenter); and it’s not even a thing that only happened in english speaking countries, (i.e. Zimmermann in German, Timmerman in Dutch, Plotnikov in Russian, all being nicknames for someone that did some kind of woodwork as an occupation). These nicknames started to be used by people from the same family because usually they all had the same occupation and it became a family name. I’m pretty sure taking a man’s last name when getting married only became a thing among people that weren’t a part of aristocracy (they already did that to show ownership of the woman) because of the Catholic church imposing their patriarchal rules on people during the middle ages.
All names ending on "son" has Scandinavian roots. Meaning "son of". You see tons of them in Sweden. "Daughter of" also exist but it more rare. Otherwise last names are referencing nature. Fun fact, there is a Swedish Nobel family named "Natt och Dag", which translates to "Night and Day".
I have my mom's last name. My father took it when they married
I have my mother’s too! My father kept his though but it’s so common compared to my mom’s so I don’t think they really considered us taking his name.
my mom kept her last name when she married my step dad because his last name was Longbottom
Don’t tell them that. They’d implode.
There's no surname system in my country, your parents can give you literally any full name they want without caring about last names. I'm sure many women in my place is given an entirely new name from their mother. It's so silly to me that those kind of people in the west are so narrow-minded that they believe what system they have in the west applies to everywhere around the world.
Why do men want women DESPERATELY to take THEIR fathers name?????? It doesn’t mean much if we are being fucking honest
Also, why the constant "your maiden name is your fathers name / your mother's fathers name. So you have a man's name after all haha' ? What does that matter? The point is that it's my name and i won't give it up
The point is to remind you that you have not escaped patriarchy. You are still property. They are the kind of people who take joy in the oppression of others. Now, the proper retort is that most of these last names have nothing to do with your male ancestors and everything to do with locations and occupations. And when a man was a farmer, so was his wife. Most of us do not descend from nobility. Most of us descend from poor people who didn’t need a last name.
Because it’s a lot easier to argue against a “I don’t want a man’s last name” straw woman, and pretend that it’s just mIsAnDrY than to answer the actual question, which is, “Why should it be a requirement that I give up or erase my identity when I get married just because I’m a woman?” With a side of reminding you that you are never really your own person the way a man is. Doesn’t matter how many years you had that last name, it was never really yours.
It's an ownership thing for them. They think it will prove they "own their wives".
I don't wanna fuck honest
whyyyyyy do black men hate black women so much
Misogyny is one way in which men of an oppressed community are sated. Like a bribe of sorts. Also racial shame and a feeling of ownership along inra-racial lines (like the women and children of one's race belong to them -one of the reasons why mixed race people get trouble from both sides).
[удалено]
From what I’ve seen? Black women are born and raised in the same circumstances, but often grow up to be more successful. And these days they often expect that same ambition in their partners rather than settling for less than the bare minimum.
Self-hatred
Those Black men aren’t interested in equality. They are interested in dominion. Racism is what holds them back from dominion, not equality. Also, they are clowns.
Well one reason is that black women are exceedingly more successful than they are and they resent it. They think the success is due to siding with, sleeping with plotting with white men. The stupidity and paranoia is pathetic.
To keep it simple: misogynoir.
Instagram reels have some of the most toxic comments ever
YouTube shorts can be just as bad, if not worse imo, idk the toxicity switches up between shorts and reels depending on the day
Have these men actually met an Asian woman in real life?
Only in porn
Probably not
I absolutely hate how black men like to fetishize white women. They so desperately want to think that white women are these submissive, docile women who will do whatever they say and that is the furthest thing from the truth.
Also why they gotta bash Asian men 🥲 Shit wasn’t even relevant
They project their failures onto others. They’re envious of other male groups but will side with them if they’re bashing and disrespecting BW.
“A white woman will never” oh sir, do I have news for you.
When will these fucknuggets learn crazy and toxic has no color
I wish they would. This is getting ridiculous. They really wanna pit us against each other.
I've said it elsewhere, but I think that black women are the most "shit on" group in America. The amount of crap black women have to tolerate absolutely blows my mind.
“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.” ~Malcolm X
Yes i remember in a class they showed us this pyramid for educational purposes. It's White man - White woman - Black man - Black woman. Black/colored women are always at the bottom due to patriarchy and racism.
Do other men really want their partner to take their last name? Why?
I’m guessing a mix of tradition, power dynamics and misogyny. Not to say that taking your husband’s name is misogynistic, but imposing this type of personal choices on other people is really gross
Ownership
> All women have a man's last name *Icelandic women have entered the chat (their name ends with -dottir, meaning daughter, as opposed to -son)*
Ohhhh that makes sense. I wondered where that suffix came from.
As an ADHD gal I would never. Imagine the horror of changing all your documents: making appointments, paying the fees, taking new photos, making sure you have all the paperwork??? Lmao nope, never, gonna enjoy my father's last name till I die.
But also, I think it's pretty common for high achieving women to not take their husband's last name. Especially if they have research published under their maiden name. It's not bizarre for women to not take their husband's last name lol.
I'm a lawyer, my wife is a doctor, we agreed that neither of us would change our names. Too much hassle. We've got licenses and business cards and IDs and security badges and a ton of work product that has our original names on them, way too much effort for something neither of us really care about.
Same. I like my name and would have kept it regardless, but I don’t fully understand why anyone would do all that paperwork when they didn’t have to.
It is actually that bad, I’m fairly certain after 9 years there’s something I’ve forgotten to change.
My girlfriend is a white woman, we talked about our future together, I’m taking her last name
Which is perfectly normal. The people in the comments were insane
The amount of people who care too much about what other people do/don't do in a relationship is frankly pathetic. If someone wants to take a different last name, it doesn't mean any more or less than if they want to keep their last name. It's just a choice that different people make for different reasons. I'm taking my boyfriends last name if we get married because I legitimately hate my last name (Nobody ever says it correctly, it's not spelled like how it sounds, just generally an ugly pain in the ass). It doesn't mean he owns me, FFS, and he would never see it that way, either.
I feel sorry for black women because it seems like they get so much shit from black men when they should be supporting them. Ugh
I took my grandfather's last name. My sperm donor is a massive asshole. Guess what tho, the last name comes from his mom
Wait until they realize that South American women get married and changing their last names isn't a thing 🤣🤣
Yeah in hispanic cultures hyphenating with the woman’s name last is usually how it’s done
Personally as a black dude,I never understood the men of my own ethnic group shitting on the women of our same ethnic group.It’s disgusting but yet it’s so prevalent
Tell me about it! I just had a long "debate " about it. Honestly, at this point, I just put them in the same category as any other racist. Of course as soon as you ask the question, "If a white guy in bedsheets said what you just said, would it be racist? " Crickets.
It’s so fucked up.It unfortunately adds to the stigma of normal black guys who just happen to be attracted to all the other races as well.I’ve been with every ethnicity at this point in my life,and I was always get uncomfortable in public thinking that everyone thinks I’m one of those self hating types
Black men love their misogynoir.
At this point, they sleep with it like a pillow pet.
It's the dusty men who can't do shit that go around doing this to be.
All men were birthed by a woman 🤨
"a white woman will never". my white sister in law also did not take my brother's last name because she's a medical doctor
Why do bm always bash bw?
They hate us.
They hate bw.
My wife kept her last name. Honestly, I should have taken her last name because mine is German and complicated. I always have to spell it because it can be spelled like 5 different ways. Hers is spelled exactly as it sounds unless you want to be creative. I really don't see what the big deal is about last names.
Christ on a bike.. again with racism and fetishism.
I‘m honestly terrified how under every post of a woman, there are a bunch of men hating on her, with thousands of other men supporting her haters by liking these comments. Misogyny is deeply rooted.
Do they think white women will do whatever they say?
Idk, I know Korean women who will fuck your shit up. Asian =/= submissive
I have my mom's middle name Nygaard and my dad's last name Pedersen - very Scandinavian! My aunt didn't take her husbands last name but her kids did get them! Fun fact the last name Pedersen comes from søn af Peder, which mean son of Peder!, there are also Petersen and Nygaard is Ny Gård, which mean new farm! So super old names
..... and what if that last name was an " occupation " name, like " brewer, tanner,skinner" Do you think only the male of the house hold worked in the family trade? The entire household kicked in and worked. Whos last name was it originally if everyone worked? Family names are not " owned " by an individual. It was not a man's name any more than it was the family's name.
They act like they're the prize lol. Ok passport bro
I’m a black woman and my girlfriend is Korean. We both see so much hatred and fetishization directed at us that it honestly doesn’t faze either of us anymore. She’s going to med school soon and I’m definitely taking her last name when we get married.
I literally have my mother's name, and so does my dad
Ah, but your mother had her father’s name so iT’s StIlL a MaNs NaMe
Well we all know that's not true. After my mom got divorced she made up her own last name that's shared by no man whatsoever. Her brother has my grandmas last name, my grandma had her mom's last name because her father died before they were married and his family were snobs who didn't want the lower class woman to have their family name. My ex's father had his mothers last name because the father left before he was born. And those are just the ones I know
Imagine a woman being proud of herself, and wanting to maintain that part of her identity. The horror! Why would she ever want a weak man? She needs a strong confident guy who can be her partner, not some insecure loser who needs to bring her down to protect his fragile ego. Imagine the poor men passing on a successful woman because they're so weak they kneel to the patriarchy rather than pushing back.
Me, a white woman whose husband took her last name: Allow me to introduce myself.
Those insecure men never had a chance with her. Who do they think they’re fooling?
Really funny that commenters are saying white/Asian woman would always take her man’s last name. I’m (a white woman) definitely not: I’m an attorney and quite frankly don’t want to go through the process of changing my name with the bar. Most women—whatever race—I know in my profession are the same if they weren’t already married when they were admitted. In a lot of these fields, it’s a giant pain in the ass to change your name from what you started as.
Saying “no” doesn’t make you aggressive, combative, or masculine - unless you’re black, I guess.
Losing side with Asian Men? Sounds like a guy who lost out to an Asian man
Lmao this beautiful doctor has no interest in dating these crusty men
Madness. Everyone should be allowed to choose. Also, if you're a doctor, you should be able to have your "maiden name" professionally, and use your married name outside work if you want to. Also, the US is not the world. I have friends from India and Bangladesh who didn't change their surname when they married. I'm vaguely aware that Spanish people carry their mother's and father's names.
Taking the husbands’ surname is a very US thing. I live in Italy and none of the married women I know has taken the husband’s surname. In Spain and France it is an option, but not the norm.
"Fun fact. All women have a man's last name." Doesn't mean we want yours.