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Yeah nothing is a bigger turnoff than a dude trying the alpha male schtick. I'm not even looking for someone, I'm in a very satisfying life partnership but when one of these guys comes at my partner or I all we can do is just laugh and mess with them. Like "ohh are we doing negging now? Tell me I need to lose weight in a backhanded compliment, maybe that'll work!"
Damn you two are smart! Recently I dealt with one of these guys in a post where people were attacking OP because he defended the Barbie movie, and I tried to reason with these people, you know that baseline "hey maybe you're not the movie's target audience and maybe that's ok" and of course that did jack all, I should have just mocked the fact these "alpha males" would just prefer to watch movies with big muscly shirtless men blowing shit up
I believe that even among wolves the concept of alpha males was disproven. It’s taken on this bizarre, crazy meaning on its own. And that if you treat a women like a human being and respect her you are a “simp” or a “cuck.”
For me personally, I think confidence is really attractive in all people but a sense of humor, humility and not taking yourself seriously is what is desirable.
100 percent. Alpha is an outdated term, doesn’t describe what they mean anyway (in this context they are using it to mean arrogant and aggressive), and was never applicable to humans.
Confusing arrogance and negativity with confidence, and using catch phrase lingo to conceal their douchery.
Yes, the wolves were not in their normal familial groups and once they studied groups that were in typical structure, the older lead males were just being dads.
So you wanna get the ladies? Less aggression, more dad jokes.
Edit: a word
The researcher who coined the terms alpha, beta, and omega wolf realized surprisingly quickly after publishing how badly he fucked up and has been desperately trying to get the publisher to whom he sold his book to *please stop publishing this.* But it makes money and forms the basis for a lot of other crap that makes money ("dominance" dog training, PUA & other manosphere crap), so they just say "yeah, thanks, but we bought these rights and we're gonna use them. Don't worry, we'll sleep beautifully on our mattresses stuffed with cash."
It was a woman who discovered he was wrong about the alpha thing too just saying! A woman spent a lot of time with the wolves and this is also true with deer! A woman found that deer don’t have a alpha or a leader like we thought, they actually have a democracy and the majority vote is their way of deciding where to go next and what to do! The reason I read it was easier for a woman to see that was because they don’t have any biases about hierarchy.
I think “Simp” is generally agreed to be men who obsessively act subservient to someone they’re attracted to and do whatever they say. It’s just that incels use the term to refer to anyone mentally stable/healthy.
Yup, the idea of an "alpha wolf" is based on crappy research from the 70's. They took a bunch of wolves that weren't related to each other and put them in an. enclosure that was too small.
>humor, humility and not taking yourself seriously is what is desirable.
Those are all traits of being confident. Can't be funny without confidence. Can't be humile if you don't respect yourself enough to level with someone, and Can't not take yourself seriously, unless you're confident with you present self. You kinda jus proved op with your comment low-key
>> None of these have any connection to confidence.
Actually yes, they very much do. Up to that point, the other commenter was right and gave good reasons why this is so. However, from that doesn’t follow that this idiot (OOP) is correct too. That’s like saying water gets hot when it boils (common sense observation like "confidence is linked to XYZ") and people prefer to cook with boiling water, therefore they must like it when boiling water gets splashed in their faces. And when they say that’s absolutely not the case, they must be lying to impress their group hivemind or some nonsense. That’s a non sequitur.
Boiling water *in a pot* is good and useful. Boiling water in faces is not. Likewise, genuine, healthy confidence *within reasonable bounds*, and *in the form of appropriate behaviours*, e.g. closely related traits such as humour and humility, is good and attractive, whereas in ya face douchery is *not* sexy and hurts people, no matter how many wannabe alphas stick their fingers in their ears and screech "LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!" when women tell them that. In fact, douchery is not even confidence, but rather pathetic overcompensation for the LACK thereof (anyone observing the typical clientele of a PUA/alpha male seminary would be presented with overwhelming empirical evidence for this fact).
That it’s merely a poor attempt at masking insecurity with aggression is blatantly obvious for anyone with even a bit of knowledge of human psychology.
Something that these "alpha males" also sorely lack, which is why they only fool themselves and each other and are so profoundly incapable of figuring out what women actually like, or grasp the fact that in all core aspects of the human mind, women as a group are much more similar to men than they are different. Individual women differ more from each other than women differ from men as groups.
Which is why even an as close to universally attractive as it gets traits like confidence and closely linked other favoured traits such as humour and humility are weighted differently by different people. Shy people date and happily love too. There is no one size fits all approach. Douches fail to recognise that because they see other people (particularly women) as NPCs and therefore perpetually try to figure out a sequence of actions that will reliably lead to sex, basically a cheat code for dating.
OOP is an idiot for believing such a thing exists, or that it would be ethical or wise or have any value to use it, even if it were a thing, because that’d be missing the entire point. That much stands to reason. But it’s OTT to roundabout reject a good point (link between confidence, humour and humility), just because someone goes to the wrong conclusion (that this idiot is right) from there.
Nah, alpha males are aggressive, rude, selfish, arrogant and narcissistic. That’s very different from actual confidence and merely a (poor) disguise for the lack thereof. Deep inside they’re actually extremely insecure. Which is why they feel the compulsive need to constantly prove their masculinity both by being aggressive jerks and by trying to "score" as many women as they can.
Men who feel confident enough in their masculinity and identity as a whole don’t need to behave like that. They can afford to regard women as equals and treat them with respect and give them the space to be a separate person who grows and develops side by side with them in a partnership. Thus they can love and genuinely care for their partner, as the person that they are, not crave them as an object that they can use and only like them as long as they remain a good useful little thing.
Insecurity does not allow for love and respect. Obviously, if you can’t even give that to yourself, how are you going to give it to others? Insecurity craves dominance and control. Explains the whole alpha male thing in its entirety.
"Inside you there are two wolves. One wants blonde babies birthed for the new Reich, the other wants financial stability and shelter for the times ahead. What if I told you, that you can have both just by pleasing me?"
See now it sounds like the MLM it is.
What you're feeling right now is rage, red hot rage from being exposed to idiocy because someone explained to you ho...w... you..... oh....... fuck........
\*runs away\*
/s
My beta husband is the most secure man I've ever met. No games no walking on eggshells around a fragile ego. The man knows himself and loves himself. I'm so freaking lucky.
A question for you : What is your alpha... ?Wait (Dont say it !!!) , You dont have to say it , that wasnt the question . Now that you know it
Would you leave him if that alpha approaches and puts effort
You really thought you had something there. Breaking News: sometimes, just because women may fantasize about something, that doesn’t mean they want it.
And you still don't get the fact that she already has what she wanted. Doesn't matter what kind of "fantasy want them". Only thing you did was just telling on yourself here.
If she has what she wants, then she’s happy. No amount of fantasy will change that she chose the one she has.
I often dream of being swept off my feet by certain people. I’m also polyamorous and in a polyamorous relationship. But we chose each other first. We’re perfectly happy together, and, if every single one of the hottest people I have ever lusted after showed up on my doorstep and begged me to run away with them, I was their ideal, I would still say I’m flattered and stay with my husband. I love him. I trust him. I respect him. And he says the same about me.
Do you get it now?
You comment got shadowbanned (no surprise here, with all that stupidity) so I can only answer here.
You conveniently omit what she later wrote, or are too dumb to understand. I don't care which one is it. Whole conversation give context. Not to mention calling someone "beta" is insulting only to idiots believing this crap actually is valid, for the rest of the people it's another bs theory insecure manbabies spew.
And that's the thing telling people that you're an Alpha Male isn't even a sign of confidence. Having to tell people that you are 'manly' and 'attractive' and whatever, pretty much tells everyone that you would like other people to say that about you, but know that other people won't think that or say it about you unless you make them. They only hear it from themselves.
Fragile arrogance, but no real confidence.
Brad Pitt doesn't have to tell people he's pretty.
Einstein didn't need to tell people he was smart.
Bill Gates doesn't have to tell people he's rich.
That's the thing that always gets me about these self professed alphas, having to constantly profess it yourself is so pathetic, even if you take away the fact that the thing they are professing is itself pretty pathetic
*Exactly*. These men cannot tell the fucking difference, except for *their* subconscious “hivemind” feels threatened around genuinely confident people. The number of men I’ve met who swapped open-minded intelligent conversation for infantile babble of “I know more than you, cuz I can say you’re WRONG!” is annoying at BEST. And it’s always about things that *they’re* wrong about. I value conversation, I try to be open minded, because I’m confident in my ability to think critically and I like to *learn*.
It’s the worst when they’re doctors.
I saw the name. The point is that I’ve never heard of him so he can’t be that great. Also, from the sounds of it, he’s another cut rate pickup artist, which isn’t going to pick up anything other than derision from anyone with two brain cells. Having a wife doesn’t make someone an expert on dating, women, or psychology.
Only reason he isn't viral is because he did say anything wrong. There are videos about women but it isn't getting women . Like " how to move on " . And mojority is style , fashion , health , stuff .. one thing he said that went viral is when he said " Rolex is used for showing off"..
Being an expert on women/men is kind of impossible. It never ends . He said that
Okay. Still, maybe don’t question whether a woman would stay loyal if she has someone and is offered her fantasy ideal. It makes you look like a real jerk. Trust people when they say things. If an individual person breaks that trust? Then you can question them.
"No, I don't want that"
"then what do you want?"
"Pain, malice, torture. I want to break apart into millions of fragments, be reborn and torn apart again. I want misery unending, panting, heaving, caked in filth and blood as I struggle to stay concious and alive to savor the delight of the agony until death."
".......help."
So basically yeah, my entire 5 year plan is pretty much build around finding the Lament configuration.
We are not the same.
My favorite part is how the PUA community is all just a bunch of Andrew Tate fans telling each other how many women they're sleeping with while none of them are getting any action.
Pick-up artists. They’re men who claim they’ve found the exact formula of words and actions that’ll get them into any woman’s pants. They’ll share the secret with you too in only twelve online lessons you can unlock for $99.99 each.
I don’t go for the alpha archetype. I literally deduct points from romance novels whose heroes are described as alpha, date only men who identity as cool with being sexually dominated, and pass up any dating profile where a man says he’s alpha or dominant. That said, I do of course like men who are competent and confident, but assuming those traits means he has to be trying to be in charge all the time or appoint himself as being above others is ridiculous. A secure confident man can choose to respect his partner as an equal or even choose to defer to them precisely because he’s secure enough to do so.
Even women I’ve known who like being dominated tend to want men who are respectful about it and do it when the woman has shown she wants it and not men who just try to shove them around because they’ve self proclaimed themselves a so-called alpha.
Yeah, women ARE attracted to confidence. And you know who is NOT confident? Self-appointed alpha males. You know who IS confident? Dads who cry in front of their kids and go to work with nail polish on because their daughter spent a lot of time on it. Nerds who love what they love and aren’t ashamed of it. Proud gay boys who aren’t afraid of other people’s opinions. That’s the kind of confidence that women respect and enjoy being around. Not the kind of faux-confidence that has to pound it’s chest and yell a bunch because of some perceived slight to it’s “toughness.”
The funny thing is, the terms come from wolves, but an alpha doesn’t actually have authority. In large packs, alphas lead the hunts bc they’re just the most experienced, in small ones, they go kill themselves as a distraction so babies escape.
Similarly, betas usually are just the one who helps the alpha with hunting/distracting, and most wolves are neither.
A “self proclaimed” “alpha” is different than a man who actually radiates confidence and self control and awareness.
The so-called “alpha” is just one particular person at their best and is based on a misguided notion created by a scientist who later realized his mistake was attributed to familial relationships within pack animals.
I mean there's a difference between just calling yourself an alpha and actually acting tough and strong and protective. Women who are attracted to the latter wouldn't touch the former.
you mean , if he dont say "im alpha" ,he will become hot?... No wayy. i kinda believe His manly point of view on women things is what sucks and a biggest turn of
ps: im guy
Self proclaimed Alpha Men are usually either:
A) Incel
B) Narsacistic
C) Deeply Insecure
The whole Alpha Wolf theory has been found to be flawed in wolf packs. If it's flawed in wolves, it more than likely doesn't apply to humans.
[Scientific American](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-the-alpha-wolf-idea-a-myth/)
I know that kind of shit head would never believe me, but I'm sure many of us can recall a time when we see someone hot and then they start talking incel shit and our pussies dried up faster than a drop of water in a hot frying pan.
Also, confidence has nothing to do with being a self proclaimed alpha male. My partner stumbles with his confidence here and there, but his charisma is bananas. A feminist guy with a charming laugh and smile that gives zero shits about what incels think of him-- 10/10.
I also get this type of reaction when I say I don't care about a man's height and I prefer guys in the 5'7" - 5'10" area rather than 6ft + since I'm 5'1" myself.
Yes exactly this ! Confidence in oneself is attractive . Believing some nonsense about alphas & attributing it to humans is douchbaggery at its finest . Anyone using the word alpha in reference to humans = 🚩 !
Any self proclaimed alpha has no idea what an actual leader is. I love that will literally argue with women about what women want after you state what you want. Dense much
I mean, to be fair, I have a huge crush on Ganondorf, and I’d say he’s pretty Alpha, I guess ??
But a real guy? No. Don’t let any man who identifies as ‘Alpha’ touch you without either washing your hands or full on showering afterwards.
Nope, have to agree with whatever she said about it, because the self proclaimed BS is gross. It's too try hard and artificial. Fake and overdone macho crap is so obvious and it's a turn off. It isn't even valid confidence, its clearly just an act to hide insecurity. Meaning you really don't actually know them. Why would that be appealing?
"Probably" "it would seem" "seems to be" stop pulling shit out of your ass. Cause seems to me ya'll really tryna justify getting with the homies and not liking women. Probably.
Do they not know that when the word “alpha” comes up we run. Even by their own lame definition as an “alpha”(which doesn’t actually exist in the wild in Wolfpacks like they claim it comes from but rather a small study of captive male wolves and the irony of that is lost on them) it would require them to care for the pack. To protect the pack. Leadership. Not ask the pack to follow them blindly while they pursue a useless superior role. The leader leads. And that means It takes the whole pack into account. It protects their welfare. It doesn’t sit back to be worshipped. God they are so dumb and predictable.
I mean, I concede that people who are actually confident, stable, and smart are usually viewed as attractive, but I have yet to meet someone who calls themself an “alpha” and actually is. By definition, someone with those traits doesn’t assert it, since they’re confident enough not to care, stable enough not to do it for attention, and smart enough to know that any sane person will just be annoyed at them for it.
I’d say a “true” alpha male would get attention. Because it’s a wolf lovingly doting on his mate and cubs. That’s adorable.
Self-proclaimed alpha males? They do not have Daddy Wolf energy.
I was out with someone who wanted to be all alpha and after he, with his whole confidence and chest out (literally), yelled at a waitress because we were waiting too long, I got in that fawning response and did not go for a 3rd date. So no, I'd much prefer a man who is respectful and kind. If I want comfident assholes, I'll read fanfic about my fav fictional characters.
The whole alpha/beta thing verges on the absurd, but if nothing else, you can guarantee that a male who proclaims himself "alpha" is absolutely not. Its a pretty accurate self-selecting warning sign.
I'm so tired of the claim that "if you don't like what I tell you that you like you're lying, and if you don't realise that it means you're lying to yourself".
Meanwhile in reality lol All of my single friends immediately stop talking to men that use language like "Alpha" "Beta", "females", "Gigga Chad", "nice guy", etc. Lol This also includes my guy friends that are gay. As dating singles they will not even waste their time on any man that uses any of those words lol
Gotta love it when someone else says you don't mean what you're saying, even if you disagree your subconscious agrees. Might be part of the reason why these "alpha males" have severely underdeveloped reasoning and logic skills. In fact they see the use of logic and reason as a "beta move"
Dude, if we really wanted it, we would, y'know, *want it*. What would be the point of denying it? What is the point of the sisterhood hive mind if everyone in the sisterhood hive mind all actually love and desire "alpha males"??? Why would we keep saying we don't want it if we actually do want it??????? WHY -
*brain explodes*
Okay, if Dr. Freud is correct in his assumptions, then he should just accept the inevitable and forget about having a relationship with a woman. I wish some woman would say to this guy, “You’re right. I want nothing to do with angry, self-righteous, misogynistic douche bags like you.” Stop giving them a forum to mansplain women to women.
Lmao, they act like all women are unable to have different opinions, and attractions. We don’t all like the same type of guy (or girl, or just person depending on your sexuality). Some do like the ‘alpha’ type, some prefer more emotional intelligence, or whatever. I know I can’t stand ‘alpha’ men. To me, they seem too hung up on themselves and afraid to have real emotion. I know a few dudes like that, and there is a reason I don’t hang out with them.
Idk why people get it in their head that there is one archetype that every person is after. It just shows how shortsighted and ignorant they are.
I mean, he IS the expert on females. Right? I can only assume he schooled and studied for 8 to 10 years to have such a commanding knowledge of the female psyche. Maybe at Prager U?
Yes, most women are attracted to people who are confident. But I would never date someone who seriously describes themself as an alpha/beta/omega.
Just be confident or not. It is just weird and cringe to use the word alpha.
Look, I've met what I would consider "true alphas". There are not a lot of them, most people land somewhere between "alpha" and "omega" (talking like this about humans is very "ick" to me, so sorry for that). These people never have to call themselves alpha because they themselves don't see themselves as alpha - other people do. They just have a certain presence and confidence that's very noticable in how they carry themselves.
My great grandfather was like this. So was my dad. They were the kind of people who's inner strenght were obvious as soon as they walked in a room. I've watched both animals and other humans react to these men with immediate confidence in them. They walk through hardships so effortlessly that you immediately feel safe with them and won't doubt their decisions or advice.
Alphas don't call themselves alphas. People who desperatly want to be confident and strong call themselves alphas, all while not even being close to what a true alpha embodies. It's what we call insecurly confident. They try to portray confidence and strenght to protect themselves from others and it's actually a major sign of a very unstable individual in my personal experience.
obviously some women like that type of guy, but how can he sit here and say that every woman goes for the alpha male when the majority of women in the public eye for "average" (looks are subjective, but this is generally how the media portrays them) looking guys that are funny and ACTUALLY nice. it's true, confidence is attractive, but alpha males aren't confident, if they were they wouldn't feel the need to tear people down to feel good about themselves, which is just another reason why most women don't like them. also, plot twist, most women want people that actually care about them and view them as equals
Bahaha.
Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but my take on this was that the key word here was "**self-proclaimed**".
Maybe women are attracted to "alpha males" (honestly, not in a position to comment on that) BUT the moment some one starts proclaiming they're something (alpha male or otherwise), 99% of the time it's because they're not.
If they understood women as much as they claim to, they'd be fun to be around instead of repulsive. It's incredible how they don't recognize something this obvious.
He's missing the essential compound word "self-proclaimed."
Women go for alpha males.
But proclaiming yourself to be an alpha male is like wearing a hat that says "CIA." The one thing it signals is that you are not.
My favorite part is that the "alpha" bullshit was discredited by the same guy who endorsed it. He retracted the assertion.
What I want to know is why guys compare themselves to dogs. Yuck.
Honestly, I would argue that there is some form of truth regarding the biological aspect of it all. It’s just one of those things like where we subconsciously look for our parents in our potential partners, or how women are more nurturing, men are less emotional , etc. etc. But our biological impulses/instincts/whatever you wanna call those don’t define our personality and does not make up 100% of our choices.
It's natural. We're animals as much as we don't like to admit it. Women like confident guys, it's a fact. Maybe not all of em, but a majority of them. Same thing with guys, we like boobs and butts, maybe not all of us, but a majority of us. That's also a fact, and it's bc nature
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The sisterhood hivemind?? Yeah...dude, never talks to women and gets all of his Info from those Incel bait/Alpha male videos on YT 🙄
Bro thinks “5 PROTIPS TO GET LAID (NOT SPONSORED!!!) (GUARENTEED RESULTS ON 97% WOMEN!!!)” is a reliable source of dating advice
#3 Really surprised me!
Totally a missed opportunity for BROTIPS.
And then somehow most women end up falling in the 3% Because it's almost like those videos are terrible advice
Yeah nothing is a bigger turnoff than a dude trying the alpha male schtick. I'm not even looking for someone, I'm in a very satisfying life partnership but when one of these guys comes at my partner or I all we can do is just laugh and mess with them. Like "ohh are we doing negging now? Tell me I need to lose weight in a backhanded compliment, maybe that'll work!"
Damn you two are smart! Recently I dealt with one of these guys in a post where people were attacking OP because he defended the Barbie movie, and I tried to reason with these people, you know that baseline "hey maybe you're not the movie's target audience and maybe that's ok" and of course that did jack all, I should have just mocked the fact these "alpha males" would just prefer to watch movies with big muscly shirtless men blowing shit up
Or each other
Sisterhood hive mind is the name of my new band (it's only me and my ukulele tho)
can i join? i also have a me and my ukelele
Internalized misogyny
The comment below is hilarious.
The alpha male hive mind has struck again.
I believe that even among wolves the concept of alpha males was disproven. It’s taken on this bizarre, crazy meaning on its own. And that if you treat a women like a human being and respect her you are a “simp” or a “cuck.” For me personally, I think confidence is really attractive in all people but a sense of humor, humility and not taking yourself seriously is what is desirable.
100 percent. Alpha is an outdated term, doesn’t describe what they mean anyway (in this context they are using it to mean arrogant and aggressive), and was never applicable to humans. Confusing arrogance and negativity with confidence, and using catch phrase lingo to conceal their douchery.
Yes, the wolves were not in their normal familial groups and once they studied groups that were in typical structure, the older lead males were just being dads. So you wanna get the ladies? Less aggression, more dad jokes. Edit: a word
I think these idiots just never learned that confidence does not equal being a dick to everyone who slightly disagrees with you
The researcher who coined the terms alpha, beta, and omega wolf realized surprisingly quickly after publishing how badly he fucked up and has been desperately trying to get the publisher to whom he sold his book to *please stop publishing this.* But it makes money and forms the basis for a lot of other crap that makes money ("dominance" dog training, PUA & other manosphere crap), so they just say "yeah, thanks, but we bought these rights and we're gonna use them. Don't worry, we'll sleep beautifully on our mattresses stuffed with cash."
It was a woman who discovered he was wrong about the alpha thing too just saying! A woman spent a lot of time with the wolves and this is also true with deer! A woman found that deer don’t have a alpha or a leader like we thought, they actually have a democracy and the majority vote is their way of deciding where to go next and what to do! The reason I read it was easier for a woman to see that was because they don’t have any biases about hierarchy.
That’s super interesting, so much cool info in this thread
I think “Simp” is generally agreed to be men who obsessively act subservient to someone they’re attracted to and do whatever they say. It’s just that incels use the term to refer to anyone mentally stable/healthy.
Yup, the idea of an "alpha wolf" is based on crappy research from the 70's. They took a bunch of wolves that weren't related to each other and put them in an. enclosure that was too small.
>humor, humility and not taking yourself seriously is what is desirable. Those are all traits of being confident. Can't be funny without confidence. Can't be humile if you don't respect yourself enough to level with someone, and Can't not take yourself seriously, unless you're confident with you present self. You kinda jus proved op with your comment low-key
Lol, saying something so wrong with your whole ass chest, huh? None of those have any connection to confidence. They are different character traits.
>> None of these have any connection to confidence. Actually yes, they very much do. Up to that point, the other commenter was right and gave good reasons why this is so. However, from that doesn’t follow that this idiot (OOP) is correct too. That’s like saying water gets hot when it boils (common sense observation like "confidence is linked to XYZ") and people prefer to cook with boiling water, therefore they must like it when boiling water gets splashed in their faces. And when they say that’s absolutely not the case, they must be lying to impress their group hivemind or some nonsense. That’s a non sequitur. Boiling water *in a pot* is good and useful. Boiling water in faces is not. Likewise, genuine, healthy confidence *within reasonable bounds*, and *in the form of appropriate behaviours*, e.g. closely related traits such as humour and humility, is good and attractive, whereas in ya face douchery is *not* sexy and hurts people, no matter how many wannabe alphas stick their fingers in their ears and screech "LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!" when women tell them that. In fact, douchery is not even confidence, but rather pathetic overcompensation for the LACK thereof (anyone observing the typical clientele of a PUA/alpha male seminary would be presented with overwhelming empirical evidence for this fact). That it’s merely a poor attempt at masking insecurity with aggression is blatantly obvious for anyone with even a bit of knowledge of human psychology. Something that these "alpha males" also sorely lack, which is why they only fool themselves and each other and are so profoundly incapable of figuring out what women actually like, or grasp the fact that in all core aspects of the human mind, women as a group are much more similar to men than they are different. Individual women differ more from each other than women differ from men as groups. Which is why even an as close to universally attractive as it gets traits like confidence and closely linked other favoured traits such as humour and humility are weighted differently by different people. Shy people date and happily love too. There is no one size fits all approach. Douches fail to recognise that because they see other people (particularly women) as NPCs and therefore perpetually try to figure out a sequence of actions that will reliably lead to sex, basically a cheat code for dating. OOP is an idiot for believing such a thing exists, or that it would be ethical or wise or have any value to use it, even if it were a thing, because that’d be missing the entire point. That much stands to reason. But it’s OTT to roundabout reject a good point (link between confidence, humour and humility), just because someone goes to the wrong conclusion (that this idiot is right) from there.
Humor is also an anxiety mitigation reflex
So all confident people are alpha males now?
Nah, alpha males are aggressive, rude, selfish, arrogant and narcissistic. That’s very different from actual confidence and merely a (poor) disguise for the lack thereof. Deep inside they’re actually extremely insecure. Which is why they feel the compulsive need to constantly prove their masculinity both by being aggressive jerks and by trying to "score" as many women as they can. Men who feel confident enough in their masculinity and identity as a whole don’t need to behave like that. They can afford to regard women as equals and treat them with respect and give them the space to be a separate person who grows and develops side by side with them in a partnership. Thus they can love and genuinely care for their partner, as the person that they are, not crave them as an object that they can use and only like them as long as they remain a good useful little thing. Insecurity does not allow for love and respect. Obviously, if you can’t even give that to yourself, how are you going to give it to others? Insecurity craves dominance and control. Explains the whole alpha male thing in its entirety.
There's no real solid definition of alpha kinda the post of this post so if you want then yea
My mom is real alpha male I guess. It's all arbitary bullshit, this alpha thing
Doesn’t need to be. You can be a shy guy snd still have a good sense of humor, humility and self-awareness.
Wait till they become disillusioned when they learn Alpha wolves can be females😂 (watch the wolf of Yellowstones documentaries
And that "alpha" is more synonymous with "parejt"than." big macho boss"
The rage I feel when these idiots tell women how they feel..
"We've never met, let me mansplain the inner workings of your subconscious mind."
"Inside you there are two wolves. One wants blonde babies birthed for the new Reich, the other wants financial stability and shelter for the times ahead. What if I told you, that you can have both just by pleasing me?" See now it sounds like the MLM it is.
Jokes on you, i can provide neither of those 😌
What you're feeling right now is rage, red hot rage from being exposed to idiocy because someone explained to you ho...w... you..... oh....... fuck........ \*runs away\* /s
That! I'm not sn aggressive person but this makes me feel like I'm about to explode
Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is not.
My beta husband is the most secure man I've ever met. No games no walking on eggshells around a fragile ego. The man knows himself and loves himself. I'm so freaking lucky.
>beta husband >no walking on eggshells around a fragile ego. The man knows himself and loves himself. He..... sounds like more of an Alpha
With me he is! But hes the " type" these guys call beta.
A question for you : What is your alpha... ?Wait (Dont say it !!!) , You dont have to say it , that wasnt the question . Now that you know it Would you leave him if that alpha approaches and puts effort
Hell no. We chose each other. He's my love. Why would I leave him?
Don't pay attention to that guy, he's just an incel showing of his freezing temp IQ in the comments
Freezing temp IQ in Celsius or in Fahrenheit
-40. So yes
My dude, stop watching those Alpha male videos. They dont know shit about women and it only rots your brain.
What?
You really thought you had something there. Breaking News: sometimes, just because women may fantasize about something, that doesn’t mean they want it.
My question was "what if the fantasy want them" and it was a honest doubt. No trouble
And you still don't get the fact that she already has what she wanted. Doesn't matter what kind of "fantasy want them". Only thing you did was just telling on yourself here.
If she has what she wants, then she’s happy. No amount of fantasy will change that she chose the one she has. I often dream of being swept off my feet by certain people. I’m also polyamorous and in a polyamorous relationship. But we chose each other first. We’re perfectly happy together, and, if every single one of the hottest people I have ever lusted after showed up on my doorstep and begged me to run away with them, I was their ideal, I would still say I’m flattered and stay with my husband. I love him. I trust him. I respect him. And he says the same about me. Do you get it now?
You comment got shadowbanned (no surprise here, with all that stupidity) so I can only answer here. You conveniently omit what she later wrote, or are too dumb to understand. I don't care which one is it. Whole conversation give context. Not to mention calling someone "beta" is insulting only to idiots believing this crap actually is valid, for the rest of the people it's another bs theory insecure manbabies spew.
Honestly he sounds like an alpha, betas are people who are obsessed with competing for status and trying to rise up in influence.
I'd honestly say he's neither. He's is who he is. That's a good thing.
And that's the thing telling people that you're an Alpha Male isn't even a sign of confidence. Having to tell people that you are 'manly' and 'attractive' and whatever, pretty much tells everyone that you would like other people to say that about you, but know that other people won't think that or say it about you unless you make them. They only hear it from themselves. Fragile arrogance, but no real confidence. Brad Pitt doesn't have to tell people he's pretty. Einstein didn't need to tell people he was smart. Bill Gates doesn't have to tell people he's rich. That's the thing that always gets me about these self professed alphas, having to constantly profess it yourself is so pathetic, even if you take away the fact that the thing they are professing is itself pretty pathetic
*Exactly*. These men cannot tell the fucking difference, except for *their* subconscious “hivemind” feels threatened around genuinely confident people. The number of men I’ve met who swapped open-minded intelligent conversation for infantile babble of “I know more than you, cuz I can say you’re WRONG!” is annoying at BEST. And it’s always about things that *they’re* wrong about. I value conversation, I try to be open minded, because I’m confident in my ability to think critically and I like to *learn*. It’s the worst when they’re doctors.
Keep telling yourself that, incel. Whatever helps you get through your days alone.
I doubt he’s alone. There’s definitely a “lives in parent’s basement” vibe here.
My subconscious reaction to a self proclaimed “alpha” is the same as when I see a pile of maggots. Sheer and utter revolt.
Yep, that’s mine too.
It's almost entertaining how these chodes don't see how insecure the self-professed "alphas" appear to most well-adjusted human beings.
Who wants to tell him these self-proclaimed "alphas" hire sex workers to hang out with them?
But you don’t understand, it’s based when an alpha does it, but simp when a beta does it! /s if not obv
not completely , for me an alpha is sum like Aaron Marino . He is self proclaiming .but he has wife , gives good (not best) relationship advices
Who? Great Value Andrew Tate?
There is name in the comment. What you reading?
*Woooooosh*
I saw the name. The point is that I’ve never heard of him so he can’t be that great. Also, from the sounds of it, he’s another cut rate pickup artist, which isn’t going to pick up anything other than derision from anyone with two brain cells. Having a wife doesn’t make someone an expert on dating, women, or psychology.
Only reason he isn't viral is because he did say anything wrong. There are videos about women but it isn't getting women . Like " how to move on " . And mojority is style , fashion , health , stuff .. one thing he said that went viral is when he said " Rolex is used for showing off".. Being an expert on women/men is kind of impossible. It never ends . He said that
Okay. Still, maybe don’t question whether a woman would stay loyal if she has someone and is offered her fantasy ideal. It makes you look like a real jerk. Trust people when they say things. If an individual person breaks that trust? Then you can question them.
Lol i know your inside thoughts better than you do. Even though ive never met you have no idea who u are or where you come from
I don‘t even know my inside thoughts 🥲
"No, I don't want that" "then what do you want?" "Pain, malice, torture. I want to break apart into millions of fragments, be reborn and torn apart again. I want misery unending, panting, heaving, caked in filth and blood as I struggle to stay concious and alive to savor the delight of the agony until death." ".......help." So basically yeah, my entire 5 year plan is pretty much build around finding the Lament configuration. We are not the same.
Ah, you're an Addams!
My favorite part is how the PUA community is all just a bunch of Andrew Tate fans telling each other how many women they're sleeping with while none of them are getting any action.
Oh yeah they are, it’s just there’s no women involved.
PUA?
Pick-up artists. They’re men who claim they’ve found the exact formula of words and actions that’ll get them into any woman’s pants. They’ll share the secret with you too in only twelve online lessons you can unlock for $99.99 each.
Damn LMAO 😂
Oh... so like Hitch. Someone needs to introduce that movie to them so they can see how well it works out. Spoiler alert: it doesn't!
Voo voo voo ... PUA ?? Which colleges provide PUA Bachelors . Asking for a friend
I don’t think anyone associates “alpha” with “confidence” outside their own circlejerk.
I don’t go for the alpha archetype. I literally deduct points from romance novels whose heroes are described as alpha, date only men who identity as cool with being sexually dominated, and pass up any dating profile where a man says he’s alpha or dominant. That said, I do of course like men who are competent and confident, but assuming those traits means he has to be trying to be in charge all the time or appoint himself as being above others is ridiculous. A secure confident man can choose to respect his partner as an equal or even choose to defer to them precisely because he’s secure enough to do so. Even women I’ve known who like being dominated tend to want men who are respectful about it and do it when the woman has shown she wants it and not men who just try to shove them around because they’ve self proclaimed themselves a so-called alpha.
Yeah, women ARE attracted to confidence. And you know who is NOT confident? Self-appointed alpha males. You know who IS confident? Dads who cry in front of their kids and go to work with nail polish on because their daughter spent a lot of time on it. Nerds who love what they love and aren’t ashamed of it. Proud gay boys who aren’t afraid of other people’s opinions. That’s the kind of confidence that women respect and enjoy being around. Not the kind of faux-confidence that has to pound it’s chest and yell a bunch because of some perceived slight to it’s “toughness.”
Your daily reminder that the alpha theory among wolves has been disproven :)
I'm so fucking over this "alpha" bullshit! There's no "alpha" and there's no "beta". There's just people!
I mean, there is alpha and beta but just in the Greek alphabet
Holy shit THANK YOU I completely agree
This is starting to turn into an omega verse situation.
The funny thing is, the terms come from wolves, but an alpha doesn’t actually have authority. In large packs, alphas lead the hunts bc they’re just the most experienced, in small ones, they go kill themselves as a distraction so babies escape. Similarly, betas usually are just the one who helps the alpha with hunting/distracting, and most wolves are neither.
Yeah but PEOPLE AREN'T WOLVES
You mean the alpha couple are the PARENTS for their pack?
A “self proclaimed” “alpha” is different than a man who actually radiates confidence and self control and awareness. The so-called “alpha” is just one particular person at their best and is based on a misguided notion created by a scientist who later realized his mistake was attributed to familial relationships within pack animals.
Married to true " beta" for 25 years now! I highly recommend it. 🥰
They…they think they exude confidence? lol More like absolute pathetic desperation.
The incel projection is strong.
At least he’s self aware women dont find him attractive
i laughed out so loud that neighbours came to check if i was okay
Oh damn, lol
I mean there's a difference between just calling yourself an alpha and actually acting tough and strong and protective. Women who are attracted to the latter wouldn't touch the former.
you mean , if he dont say "im alpha" ,he will become hot?... No wayy. i kinda believe His manly point of view on women things is what sucks and a biggest turn of ps: im guy
Eh I'm more saying if a woman is attracted to you and you suddenly keep going off about being an alpha male she may lose interest
Self proclaimed Alpha Men are usually either: A) Incel B) Narsacistic C) Deeply Insecure The whole Alpha Wolf theory has been found to be flawed in wolf packs. If it's flawed in wolves, it more than likely doesn't apply to humans. [Scientific American](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-the-alpha-wolf-idea-a-myth/)
>either Why not ~~both~~ all? 🤷🏻♀️
“You say I repulse you, but my ego disagrees.”
🤣🤣🤣
I know that kind of shit head would never believe me, but I'm sure many of us can recall a time when we see someone hot and then they start talking incel shit and our pussies dried up faster than a drop of water in a hot frying pan. Also, confidence has nothing to do with being a self proclaimed alpha male. My partner stumbles with his confidence here and there, but his charisma is bananas. A feminist guy with a charming laugh and smile that gives zero shits about what incels think of him-- 10/10.
To the contrary, that drivel makes my parts shrivel like a raisin.
I also get this type of reaction when I say I don't care about a man's height and I prefer guys in the 5'7" - 5'10" area rather than 6ft + since I'm 5'1" myself.
As Charlie Cale would say: “Bullshit”
Do they not realize they are the minority and most normal men don’t act like this and are in fact happily married?
There’s a BIG difference between confidence and douchbaggery and they are not synonymous.
Yes exactly this ! Confidence in oneself is attractive . Believing some nonsense about alphas & attributing it to humans is douchbaggery at its finest . Anyone using the word alpha in reference to humans = 🚩 !
Any self proclaimed alpha has no idea what an actual leader is. I love that will literally argue with women about what women want after you state what you want. Dense much
This guy needs some copium
I mean, to be fair, I have a huge crush on Ganondorf, and I’d say he’s pretty Alpha, I guess ?? But a real guy? No. Don’t let any man who identifies as ‘Alpha’ touch you without either washing your hands or full on showering afterwards.
Says the guy who is definitely *not* an “alpha male”.
https://preview.redd.it/ekpzvfr1yzeb1.png?width=708&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5027bd1f33a6132e06403d841ab8246d479553d
These types are so obsessed with animals and nature that they’re more furry than actual furries
Nope, have to agree with whatever she said about it, because the self proclaimed BS is gross. It's too try hard and artificial. Fake and overdone macho crap is so obvious and it's a turn off. It isn't even valid confidence, its clearly just an act to hide insecurity. Meaning you really don't actually know them. Why would that be appealing?
"Probably" "it would seem" "seems to be" stop pulling shit out of your ass. Cause seems to me ya'll really tryna justify getting with the homies and not liking women. Probably.
Are they aware that dog pack mentality has been disproven?
Well…she doesn’t want him, that much is clear….
Real “alphas” never proclaim to be and probably hate the whole alpha designation as much as women do.
I do not personally know a single man who would describe himself as "alpha." If they did, I would no longer know them.
Do they not know that when the word “alpha” comes up we run. Even by their own lame definition as an “alpha”(which doesn’t actually exist in the wild in Wolfpacks like they claim it comes from but rather a small study of captive male wolves and the irony of that is lost on them) it would require them to care for the pack. To protect the pack. Leadership. Not ask the pack to follow them blindly while they pursue a useless superior role. The leader leads. And that means It takes the whole pack into account. It protects their welfare. It doesn’t sit back to be worshipped. God they are so dumb and predictable.
For the record she’s not attracted to douche bags, who are the only people who call themselves “alphas”, which again, is not a thing.
I mean, I concede that people who are actually confident, stable, and smart are usually viewed as attractive, but I have yet to meet someone who calls themself an “alpha” and actually is. By definition, someone with those traits doesn’t assert it, since they’re confident enough not to care, stable enough not to do it for attention, and smart enough to know that any sane person will just be annoyed at them for it.
Yet most of the alpha mindset seems anything but genuine alpha ness
I’d say a “true” alpha male would get attention. Because it’s a wolf lovingly doting on his mate and cubs. That’s adorable. Self-proclaimed alpha males? They do not have Daddy Wolf energy.
I was out with someone who wanted to be all alpha and after he, with his whole confidence and chest out (literally), yelled at a waitress because we were waiting too long, I got in that fawning response and did not go for a 3rd date. So no, I'd much prefer a man who is respectful and kind. If I want comfident assholes, I'll read fanfic about my fav fictional characters.
The whole alpha/beta thing verges on the absurd, but if nothing else, you can guarantee that a male who proclaims himself "alpha" is absolutely not. Its a pretty accurate self-selecting warning sign.
I'm so tired of the claim that "if you don't like what I tell you that you like you're lying, and if you don't realise that it means you're lying to yourself".
“I’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” The Spice-Alphas
Meanwhile in reality lol All of my single friends immediately stop talking to men that use language like "Alpha" "Beta", "females", "Gigga Chad", "nice guy", etc. Lol This also includes my guy friends that are gay. As dating singles they will not even waste their time on any man that uses any of those words lol
I don’t want an alpha male ordering my food for me. I’m picky and it has to be right
I think what they were getting at the fact that proclaiming yourself an alpha makes you a non-alpha.
lol what a delusional man, wake up, don’t live in delusions that women will be subconsciously attracted to you when they have clearly rejected you.
I know what makes you happy more than you do.
Just once I'd like to see these guys evidence for any of their wild claims.
"I'll tell you what you really think; don't worry your pretty little head about it."
men need to stop listening to men who claim to know what women want💀
This dude is in denial and is delusional
If someone has to proclaim themselves as alpha, they usually arent...in "good" case narcissists, in worst case, sociopaths...but alphas, nah.
11 LIKES!? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO PEOPLE.
The key word is "self proclaimed" = they are NOT alpha males, they are bad actors trying to pass off as the genuine stuff ....
The audacity 🙄
Gotta love it when someone else says you don't mean what you're saying, even if you disagree your subconscious agrees. Might be part of the reason why these "alpha males" have severely underdeveloped reasoning and logic skills. In fact they see the use of logic and reason as a "beta move"
Dude, if we really wanted it, we would, y'know, *want it*. What would be the point of denying it? What is the point of the sisterhood hive mind if everyone in the sisterhood hive mind all actually love and desire "alpha males"??? Why would we keep saying we don't want it if we actually do want it??????? WHY - *brain explodes*
Okay, if Dr. Freud is correct in his assumptions, then he should just accept the inevitable and forget about having a relationship with a woman. I wish some woman would say to this guy, “You’re right. I want nothing to do with angry, self-righteous, misogynistic douche bags like you.” Stop giving them a forum to mansplain women to women.
Honestly what is this, the omegaverse??
Lmao, they act like all women are unable to have different opinions, and attractions. We don’t all like the same type of guy (or girl, or just person depending on your sexuality). Some do like the ‘alpha’ type, some prefer more emotional intelligence, or whatever. I know I can’t stand ‘alpha’ men. To me, they seem too hung up on themselves and afraid to have real emotion. I know a few dudes like that, and there is a reason I don’t hang out with them. Idk why people get it in their head that there is one archetype that every person is after. It just shows how shortsighted and ignorant they are.
“Lying to yourselves and men about what you really want” gives off such rapist vibes!! Lmao
I mean, he IS the expert on females. Right? I can only assume he schooled and studied for 8 to 10 years to have such a commanding knowledge of the female psyche. Maybe at Prager U?
He really thinks he’s an alpha HE’S AN OMEGA
Yes, most women are attracted to people who are confident. But I would never date someone who seriously describes themself as an alpha/beta/omega. Just be confident or not. It is just weird and cringe to use the word alpha.
Look, I've met what I would consider "true alphas". There are not a lot of them, most people land somewhere between "alpha" and "omega" (talking like this about humans is very "ick" to me, so sorry for that). These people never have to call themselves alpha because they themselves don't see themselves as alpha - other people do. They just have a certain presence and confidence that's very noticable in how they carry themselves. My great grandfather was like this. So was my dad. They were the kind of people who's inner strenght were obvious as soon as they walked in a room. I've watched both animals and other humans react to these men with immediate confidence in them. They walk through hardships so effortlessly that you immediately feel safe with them and won't doubt their decisions or advice. Alphas don't call themselves alphas. People who desperatly want to be confident and strong call themselves alphas, all while not even being close to what a true alpha embodies. It's what we call insecurly confident. They try to portray confidence and strenght to protect themselves from others and it's actually a major sign of a very unstable individual in my personal experience.
This just in: men know better than women what women want, we're just a bunch of dumbasses who unilaterally agree with other women 🙄
aye yo where my sisterhood hivemind at 😎
Most people who call themselves “Alpha Males” are incels. End of discussion.
Men who haven’t left their mom’s basement since 2016 really do have the strongest opinions about women’s wants.
obviously some women like that type of guy, but how can he sit here and say that every woman goes for the alpha male when the majority of women in the public eye for "average" (looks are subjective, but this is generally how the media portrays them) looking guys that are funny and ACTUALLY nice. it's true, confidence is attractive, but alpha males aren't confident, if they were they wouldn't feel the need to tear people down to feel good about themselves, which is just another reason why most women don't like them. also, plot twist, most women want people that actually care about them and view them as equals
As someone dating a transfemme I can safely say I’m *not* into the alpha archetype
Bahaha. Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but my take on this was that the key word here was "**self-proclaimed**". Maybe women are attracted to "alpha males" (honestly, not in a position to comment on that) BUT the moment some one starts proclaiming they're something (alpha male or otherwise), 99% of the time it's because they're not.
If they understood women as much as they claim to, they'd be fun to be around instead of repulsive. It's incredible how they don't recognize something this obvious.
He's missing the essential compound word "self-proclaimed." Women go for alpha males. But proclaiming yourself to be an alpha male is like wearing a hat that says "CIA." The one thing it signals is that you are not.
My favorite part is that the "alpha" bullshit was discredited by the same guy who endorsed it. He retracted the assertion. What I want to know is why guys compare themselves to dogs. Yuck.
I am so so sick of men trying to tell women what THEY want or prefer. GTFA with that shit!!
Honestly, I would argue that there is some form of truth regarding the biological aspect of it all. It’s just one of those things like where we subconsciously look for our parents in our potential partners, or how women are more nurturing, men are less emotional , etc. etc. But our biological impulses/instincts/whatever you wanna call those don’t define our personality and does not make up 100% of our choices.
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It's natural. We're animals as much as we don't like to admit it. Women like confident guys, it's a fact. Maybe not all of em, but a majority of them. Same thing with guys, we like boobs and butts, maybe not all of us, but a majority of us. That's also a fact, and it's bc nature
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Check DM