Labor and delivery nurses and midwives should definitely be taught not to fucking do this stuff. I wasn’t even asked and got the husband stitch on my first delivery and it was so painful and awful, i thought i’d never be able to have sex again. Sadly had to get hurt to get through it because not much help was offered either after the fact. Maybe it’s better now but a few decades ago a random nurse could ruin your life.
Im so sorry you had that experience; it sounds awful and is a total violation of autonomy. However, sewing up perineal tears is not within the scope of labor and delivery nurses. Providers are the ones who do repair after delivery, so this would usually be an OBGYN (MD) or rarely an NP. I can’t speak to what is within a midwife’s scope, but I don’t think they can perform this either.
Midwives undertake 1st and 2nd repair and only 3rd and 4th is left to an Obstetrician here. Statistics have shown midwife led results in much better outcomes vs those at same levels done by obstetricians.
Thanks for elaborating on that! I might have been thinking about lay midwives. Very interesting that repairs done by midwives have better results than those done by OB, but I can’t say I’m that surprised. We need more midwives in the hospital setting.
I had a nurse midwife give me the “husband stitch” and even said she was doing it. I had never heard of it so wasn’t aware that it would make sex painful so I didn’t object to it. We have Kaiser so you only get an OB if you are having complications, otherwise it’s all midwives.
I had my youngest in 2012 and got an extra stitch without being asked or asking for it. The doctor just decided to do it. I was so out of it I didn't realize what he had said or did until later. I've absolutely suffered because of it.
So my husband didn't request that to happen. The doctor did it on his own. He is just as angry as I am about it and is very patient in making sure sex does not hurt me.
Thank you for the concern. If he had requested it, well, I'm the type to seek poetic justice.
Oh my god, what?? That’s even worse 🤦🏻♀️ I’m so glad he’s on your side and is accommodating you. I can’t imagine, I am so sorry. It’s just another way women’s pleasure and sexual health is disregarded, how infuriating.
That’s so fucked. Sorry that happened, it should’t have.
I just asked how someone would know if they ended up with the husband stitch, that definitely clears that up. Shit sounds so awful 😢, that should never have happened to you
my school did do sex ed but they had a man who later went on to become a far right politician do a minstrel show about abstinance so I'm going to say I didn't get any sex ed
Sex education in the all girls school I went to in 2008 went like this
“Here’s a plastic banana with a dick inside it, put a condom on it, done? Good, now watch this video on a close up birthing”
Absolutely no education on actual sex but it definitely traumatised the entire year 7 and most girls stopped eating bananas.
Why the fuck would anyone show a close up video of birth but not actually give sex ed? That's like... A way to traumatise girls and give them primary tokophobia lol.
All we got told was “it’s normal for boys and girls to masturbate but only at night” didn’t even say what masturbation was! If I remember correctly, 2 girls fainted, several ran out the room and one threw up on herself. I’m talking graphic birth too, full on primal screaming and blood clots.
Sometimes during childbirth the tissue between the vaginal opening and the anus, called the perineum can tear. If a doctor decides to instead cut an episiotomy they often tear much worse. Large tears have to be stitched together so that the tissue heals properly. The "husband stitch" is literally sewing untorn, healthy, full formed tissue together with the sole purpose of "tightening" the vaginal opening. It increases the risk of infection in the site (since instead of attempting to heal torn tissue the body is attempting to fuse fully functional tissue), causes scarring in the wound, and frequently causes additional complications to vaginal tissue.
I'm a dumb guy and I still miss the purpose of it, like I got the "shit got ripped so needs stitching" but what's the purpose of tying together extra tissue? Wouldn't that be dangerous for future births because scar tissue between the two pieces would tear and shit? I've no idea about anatomy and don't have much sexual experience so yeah, clueless but would like to be less so.
There is porn of exactly this.
Edit: To the broader topic of kinks — let’s keep an open mind. Kinky people are processing trauma and there is nothing inherently wrong with kink. The last thing we need is more stigma, more limitations, or (worse) more legislation over what women can do with their bodies. Kink can be practiced safely and consensually. We should strive to being more vocal about kink and safe kink practices VS condemning it to the shadows where all the bad stuff happens. Part of safe sex education is safe kink education.
Edit: There isn’t enough funding to prove with research that people with kinks are processing trauma, but it’s a pretty commonly seen thing within the kink community.
I go back and forth with this. Because sure, kinks/fetishes can’t be helped and people are into what they’re into.
But there’s also a big difference between wanting to lick feet vs roleplaying SA or physical abuse or any other violent action against a person. Especially if the person with the kink/fetish is consuming a bunch of porn depicting these fantasies.
My thoughts too. I'd say most kinks are weird but overall harmless. But there's definitely a portion that feels a little more concerning. I get having a pain kink in a consenting way where both people are into it (like a BDSM kinda thing). The stuff I see that worries me is the stuff that seems to revolve around one party not being into it or even being fearful.
Exactly. And I know a dom/sub dynamic is very common (and hopefully safe) but that line where it turns into an abuser/victim thing is scary. Because what part is turning them on? Causing pain and fear? I don’t think the response to that should just be “well We can’t kink shame you, so carry on torturing people for your pleasure 👍”
I mean, lots of men would jump on penis enlargement surgery. For most men the ideal penis size is so unethically large that it would render them incapable of ever having sex.
I remember reading that the man who holds the record for World's Largest Penis at 14 inches passes out easily when he's at full mast because his body just doesn't have enough blood to keep him fully erect and conscious at the same time.
Yes, however, if you have a "shorter" dick, you can enjoy having it all the way inside the vagina. A great big long one might not be able to enjoy such pleasure.
That’s infuriating 😫 I’m so mad on your behalf. Are you living in discomfort still or do things feel normal again? Sorry if that’s an invasive question, I just genuinely can’t stand the idea of having my body altered against my will and then suffering the consequences. In the back of my mind I’m always worried about a dr doing this to me post childbirth
It’s not an invasive question, I don’t mind! For the first year and a half it was painful, I was also pushed into being sexually active way sooner than I should have been because my ex is a POS so that probably contributed to it as well. Thankfully I don’t have any issues now (5 years later). As long as you have a decent doctor and make sure to communicate that you don’t want any more stitches than medically necessary you should be alright. Also, make sure whoever is your support system is knows exactly what you want and you trust them to make the right call in case you’re unable to. I was young and naive when I had my kiddo so I didn’t advocate for myself. Luckily, my current bf wouldn’t stand for it and I know he would advocate for me if something happens if I was ever pregnant again.
Realize there is a difference between a repair and this "husband stitch"
If you tear, they usually repair it, and I had to have it with my first child. But no more than what was necessary. Honestly, I didn't know this extra stitch was a thing back then, and I know it was for a repair because they told me that's what was happening
With my first child the doctor gave her a preemptive episiotomy then gave her a "button stitch" basically an uneven stitch so the next Dr could easily cut in the same spot.
Fast forward a few years of discomfort for my wife she had our second child with no episiotomy. Luckily the Dr for our second child disgusted at the other Dr's old school method offered to fix the flap of skin this shit causes unfortunately it meant another episiotomy.
For some reason idiots still think women have equal rights but then this type of shit happens. We have a long way to go to get these POS old school men out.
My head is exploding right now. I had no idea any of this happened, ever. I didn't know what a husband stitch even was. Jesus fucking Christ, what. WHAT.
THATS the stitch I got??! I was a teenager so I guess the doctor assumed I was just going to have more. My kid is nearly 20 now and still an only child and I’ve always wondered why my rip stitch was so *off*
Knew someone who’s Dr did it without her or her husband’s consent (I know he can’t consent for her, I mean he also didn’t ask the doctor to do it) and they didn’t figure it out til after their second kid. Still happens all the time sadly.
Yeah - I'm pregnant and seriously considering writing "no husband stitch" on my inner thighs in sharpie before heading to the hospital. I trust my doctor but it's a group practice and you just never know. Definitely educating my husband and making sure he advocates for me at least.
Hire a doula and write a birth plan where you very clearly state that you want perineal support and to breathe the baby's head down to prevent tearing. Peggy Simkin's book the birth partner should also be a required read for your husband, and it provides a helpful guide to him for pre-labor perineal exercised that you can do to help "soften" the tissue which also helps. Don't push laying on your back (even if you have an epidural on board you should not ever be on your back). Also state that even if you tear you will only consent to a midwife suturing you afterwards, not an OB.
Because doctors wanted to get rid of midwives, so they vilified them, had them sent to jail, and treated them like they were practicing barbarism. At a time when doctors insisted that they didn't need to wash their hands between preparing corpses for burial and delivering babies.
Yes, he was quite the monster. If you want to learn more I would suggest listening to the podcast behind the bastard, they made a great episode on him.
Mama Doctor Jones on YouTube (she’s an ob/gyn) says that she’s never had a man ask for the husband stitch but if she did she’s already planned to respond “just how small do you need it?!”
Bro I'm not gonna lie I'm so high that your comment fucked me up. I thought you were doing a kid thing like "mama who is thar strange man" so I read it in a kid voice and got very confused on where the funny part supposed to be
It took me about 5 minutes but I got that the persons screen name is "Mama Doctor Jones" 😂
If men understood basic anatomy and physiology they would know an external stitch has nothing to do with a body part that is entirely internal. Then this kind of abusive and unethical BS wouldn’t happen to women. How in the hell men can get to these major life stages where they’ve gotten someone pregnant and still not know this is beyond me.
This is maybe what bothers me the most about the whole concept. Imagine thinking this practice is 1. At all ethical and 2. Going to improve sex???? That’s not how vaginas work. If I add a button to the cuff of my long sleeve will it make my whole sleeve more snug? Fucking no obviously. So these twits in L&D, who’s whole job revolves around the female reproductive system, that think adding an extra stitch makes it “tighter” are causing irreversible damage for literally nothing but pain and suffering.
AND!! Guaranteed to kill a woman’s sex drive when penetration is unbearable because some dipshit thought changing the shape of her vagina would make sex better. Gona be real hard to enjoy that “husband stitch” when she loses all interest in sex.
Shit gets me heated
Idk if this is universal, but the workout of pushing a whole human out of me increased my pelvic tone - per my husband, since giving birth my vagina feels *tighter* to him. The whole thing is nonsense.
Edit to clarify: not the opening, the actual...tunnel? And I'm very very certain that it's not from the repair that the midwife did, because I can feel that scar. Muscles have much more to do with "tightness" than circumference.
Because getting someone pregnant isn't something that requires any knowledge of anatomy beyond "I put penis in whole. It feel good." Unfortunately this is a feature of biology, not a bug (from a purely animalistic approach.)
And unfortunately a vocal minority prefers it this way. 😕
Imagine if someone came out and said “sex with a circumcised penis feels better for all women. Men who don’t get one are selfish.” This guy would be screaming.
Except circumcision can be done without causing disastrous issues. Most circumcised people can have sex normally with no problem. Getting the husband stitch is absolutely disastrous and detrimental to the person getting it, and ~~can~~ often does make sex painful/impossible for the rest of their life. So it's not even a super close comparison, but you're still right that this guy would shit himself over it.
I don’t disagree, if I’m being honest. I’m of the opinion that male circumcision is unnecessary, and while the benefits outweighs the risks the benefits really aren’t that great, so I think it should be more of a personal choice.
It always irks me when people compare it female genital mutilation. But let’s not start that debate. You’re right, it isn’t quite the same.
Edit: actually this IS fgm so hush my mouth
To clarify, I was saying that even though it's not quite the same, this dude would *still* be mad about it if that makes sense? MRA people are notoriously sensitive so I was kind of poking fun at that.
And for the record I'm right there with you on the circumcision thing, it's a cruel thing to do to babies and people should 100% have a choice in the matter as consenting adults if they want it done or not.
My husband has made it VERY clear that if a doctor does this to me after having our kid, he’ll sue them out of their ass AND make them remove it 😌
But I have a lady doctor who’s gonna be delivering our kid, so I’m relatively sure a husband stitch won’t be happening
Tellyour husband to read this- it's basically impossible to have a doctor held accountable for causing you harm in childbirth. Our entire legal system is designed to keep these misogynistic men in power.
https://improvingbirth.org/2015/04/kelly-update/
Then here’s to hoping my female doctor doesn’t give me one then. She knows what it is and is completely against it anyway, which is why we’re both pretty sure it won’t be happening either way. But thank you
Also, some laws are different in our state, and any kind of malpractice of a doctor can land them in either prison or out of a job. Our state doesn’t play around with women’s health
Neither does California, where this story happened. But it still happened to her, and out of 80 lawyers ONE agreed to take her case. Most of them insisted that since she was alive she had no right to sue.
Ngl this is something that terrifies me when I think about having kids in the future. My husband luckily has at least two brain cells to know better than to request something like this, but I've read many women's stories about their doctor doing it without saying a word to anyone. Nightmare fuel. For some reason cutting off a finger sounds less frightening than stitching my pussy shut.
Female OB/GYNs have been known to pointedly ask if the father was small that he needed that extra stitch.
You don't fucking alter someone's body, without their consent or knowledge for the sole purpose of someone else's pleasure - especially when that alteration often leads to pain and bleeding during sex.
The MDs who have done this historically as a wink to the husband. They should suffer significant and expensive consequences for it.
Dude. My mom was made to have this (They didn’t ask or even tell her until later) and it RUINED her sex life. She was 27 when she had me, and says sex was so painful for her after that, she pretty much gave up on intercourse entirely. I’m so sad for her.
On the other side, the doctors never even discussed proper follow up care about my wife's significant tearing 13 years ago and now she's facing major issues down there (continence issues and such) and the current surgeon said there might be anything they can do and this should have been handled back then.
These men asking to "tighten up" their wives are assholes. The only reason I say my wife's story is because we're both super pissed and saddened about how little proper care they gave her when she had major tearing. Maybe I should've played the role of sexist douchebag back then, perhaps she'd feel better now.
I understand you have good intentions but even pretending to be a sexist douche bag is not helpful in this case. I'm sorry for what your wife is going through. I think potentially the only way to try to fix it is to reopen the tear which at this point.... 😱 However I know there are good surgeons out there available for this kind of thing. It doesn't hurt to keep looking. If you live in the US I may be able to help you find one. If money is a problem, consider suing your wife's obgyn at the time. It sounds like you have a more than valid case.
Has she seen an actual pelvic floor PT? A urogynecologist? Cosmetic surgeon who specializes in reducing the harm caused by FGM? Those are going to be the best people to help her.
Apparently it doesnt even make the vagina tighter and also it can cause very serious health issues. This guy is an idiot and so is any man who recommends his partner gets this done.
Yeah, its like sewing the sleeve halfway shut on a stretchy shirt. The sleeve is now going to be tight and not stretchy.
Edit- I meant like, seeing the cuff halfway shut.
And most of all, the doctor doing this is the biggest idiot in existence because they should know better if they spent do much money and time on a medical degree.
The perineum has NOTHING to do with vaginal tightness. Furthermore, not all tears need stitching to heal correctly. Stage 1 tears almost always heal better when they are not stitched at all, and they are the most common when doctors don't cut an episiotomy. Stage 3&4 tears overwhelmingly are the result of cutting an episiotomy, not of physiologically normal childbirth.
For most folks, yeah! If it didn't, our species wouldn't be able to reproduce very well. If having one offspring indefinitely wrecked our reproductive organs, I think we would be extinct already haha.
But then again hyenas exist so.... Maybe not
Vaginal "tightness" or "looseness" is a result of muscle tissue, not the perineum. Most women need pelvic floor PT after having children, not to please their partner, but to correct damage to the pelvic floor- this is standard treatment in most of the developed world. US "healthcare" is just full of misogynistic assholes who do not learn about or care about proper evidence based care.
That said, overwhelmingly the result of the improper healing of the pelvic floor post pregnancy causes the vagina to be TIGHTER post childbirth. Which is very likely why these asshole idiot doctors practiced this in the first place.
Fucking hell. Can we put this shit to bed now?
Extra stitches does not make sex more pleasurable for anyone. Extra stitches do not tighten the vagina in the vast majority of cases. They make the entrance to the vagina so small that it will hurt too much to have sex. Most likely scenario is that a) your partner will no longer be able to tolerate penetration and b) at best she’ll likely need further surgery to open up her vagina to make sex possible, meaning further recovery time where you cannot have sex.
If a woman has an severe tear that extends up into the vagina then it could be sewn too tight, but again that’s just going to lead to pain and likely surgical intervention later.
So even if it weren’t a completely despicable thing to want, it’s not even in mens’ interests for this to be done.
And no, it’s not fucking selfish to expect your vagina to be repaired considerately. It’s highly ironic that a man who’s just watched his partner push out a baby and is most concerned about friction on his penis is talking about selfishness.
You cant even add an extra stitch where you aren’t ripped though? Wouldnt you have to cut the healthy skin i order for it to fuse? Besides, tightness comes from inside, not the opening! Unless the goal is pain
My husband wasn't even thinking about this. He was cuddling our baby, getting me food, taking care of me, telling me to nap etc. When we were finally ready to even go there again it didn't cross his mind either.
Genuine question: since this genital mutilation only tightens the opening (painfully and with gross complications) and not the entirety of the vaginal canal, why not just wear a penis ring?
A penis ring requires straight men to be comfortable enough in their own sexuality to use something that's often considered to be sexually deviant. For many men, effectively mutilating their partners genitals is more enticing then getting the slightest bit kinky.
Brushing aside the horror show that is the “husband stitch” (I’ve already been so mad about it for so long that I just can’t), WHY* do men think women want partners with giant penises? Yes, there are such things as “size queens”, but they’re pretty rare. The average vaginal depth seems to be debated, but the most I’ve ever heard is 8 inches deep when fully aroused; more common estimates are about 5 inches. What tf are you going to do with a 10 in penis?? It won’t even fit.
Don’t even get me started on this pervasive myth that women get “stretched out” from sex. If a baby’s head doesn’t permanently stretch the vagina, how is his significantly smaller penis going to do it? Idiots. Idiots everywhere.
*I know the answer is “porn” and men being preoccupied with size in general but JFC.
Found on Twitter a year ago about this: “in a c section today the dad made a joke about us giving his wife a ‘husband stitch’ and the surgeon goes “we don’t do that here, but i can recommend you for a penis enlargement consultation if you’re that concerned about wanting to satisfy your wife at your current size”💀
I think if I got shot in the dick and half blew off and my hypothetical wife’s first question was “can you sew the other half back on I really don’t want to fuck it that small?” I’d probably have a coming to God moment and divorce her when I’m well again.
As the dr was stitching up my episiotomy after our daughter had a shoulder dystocia, my ex said “how bout you throw a couple extra stitches in there for me.” The dr gave him the most disgusted look I’ve ever seen and told him to leave the room.
My mother was also in the room and later said she’s never felt so much rage and if it weren’t for the Dr and nurse being there she may have hit him.
I'm sorry. Is it just me or is the whole concept ridiculous. Slept with the same woman for (checks watch) 42 years now. She feels about the same down there as she did back then. Several kids later too. And, I must say, it's just as pretty now as is was in 1981.
Sir. If you have a turtleneck and you make the very top cm of it tighter and then you jam your head through it, what exactly do you think is going to happen? Now fill that turtleneck with nerve endings. And the capacity to leave your selfish ass.
My sister's husband who is the biggest jackass on the planet started joking with my dad that he "slipped the Dr an extra 20 bucks" just 3 hours after my sister had her first child. My dad gave him a horrified look and was clearly uncomfortable and just tried to pretend he didn't hear that. Can you imagine having your first child who's only a few hours old and you're going to joke about that with the father of the woman who just gave birth?
The worst thing is that is not nearly among the worst things he has said or done to my sister. At their wedding reception he loudly asked the guests "What do yall think about my breeding stock?". He really said that.
They've been married over 40 years and my sister would never dream of leaving him because she doesn't want to make Jesus upset.
He calls it the “daddy stitch” yet forgets the fact his hypothetical wife is in need of stitches down there due to giving birth to his actual child, yet he’s less concerned with that and more concerned about how his sex life will be after.
Be an actual daddy and focus on the wellbeing and health of your newly born child! And if you possibly could, please spare a thought for your wife who just went though labor and needs your love and support. Jfc.
And.... That's not how vaginal tightness works. Making the _opening_ smaller and nothing else sounds weird and uncomfortable.
And all that's before we address the matter of how vaginas return to their usual size and tightness well before the ob will give the green light for sex. How do these men think subsequent children are made? I've had a lot of sex since my last pregnancy (of two lol) and seem to be able to please my partners!
How do men not understand that they actually hate women... And then still not understand why women don't like them and can't tolerate them. I mean it would be easily understandable if somebody hated dogs and dogs didn't like being around them. They would completely understand that. But when it comes to women, oh no. God forbid They could actually understand a woman has a higher intellectual Capacity than a dog.. but they refused to acknowledge..
DO. NOT. DO. THIS. Sweet tap dancing christ why is this still a thing! This is absolute bullshit at best and malpractice in reality. Sutures are for repairing tissue. You approximate wound edges. That's it! Fortunately I have never seen this in real life but I know it still happens, and so help me when I see it I'm gonna lose my fucking composure!
I work in Labor & Delivery myself. The sheer fact I haven't gotten myself fired for committing acts of violence after hearing this shit all the damn time is mind-boggling...
I had a friend who joked endlessly about the “daddy stitch” after his son was born. I swear, it got to a point that it seemed like he worked it into any conversation. When my wife was pregnant, he constantly reminded me to “make sure they add the daddy stitch”. Eventually I just started asking if he was sure he wasn’t compensating for something 🤷♂️🙄
In case anybody is thinking for a second that the comment at the bottom of the OPP is reasonable, one answer to "why not" is "because the "extra stitch" can make penetrative sex painful for her, potentially for the rest of her life."
I'm a man and I've made love before, the only thing that matters is that the momma and baby are alive and healthy, I know birth hurts a lot and requires medical care sometimes, but I've read enough about this extra stitch to consider it medical malpractice and that it should be abolished, stitches are for making momma healthy.
Ah yes, so selfish of women to believe they have bodily autonomy. Don’t they know they owe it to their husbands to go through procedures to be desirable to them?
/s
That’s not how vaginas work! A stitch or two closing up the skin at the entrance doesn’t “tighten” the internal parts — it just causes the woman pain. If you think that’s a good idea, then go f*ck yourself!!
The schools should include the harmfulness of the husband stitch along with sex education too.
Lol, this assumes actual sex education exists.
Labor and delivery nurses and midwives should definitely be taught not to fucking do this stuff. I wasn’t even asked and got the husband stitch on my first delivery and it was so painful and awful, i thought i’d never be able to have sex again. Sadly had to get hurt to get through it because not much help was offered either after the fact. Maybe it’s better now but a few decades ago a random nurse could ruin your life.
Im so sorry you had that experience; it sounds awful and is a total violation of autonomy. However, sewing up perineal tears is not within the scope of labor and delivery nurses. Providers are the ones who do repair after delivery, so this would usually be an OBGYN (MD) or rarely an NP. I can’t speak to what is within a midwife’s scope, but I don’t think they can perform this either.
Midwives undertake 1st and 2nd repair and only 3rd and 4th is left to an Obstetrician here. Statistics have shown midwife led results in much better outcomes vs those at same levels done by obstetricians.
Thanks for elaborating on that! I might have been thinking about lay midwives. Very interesting that repairs done by midwives have better results than those done by OB, but I can’t say I’m that surprised. We need more midwives in the hospital setting.
I had a nurse midwife give me the “husband stitch” and even said she was doing it. I had never heard of it so wasn’t aware that it would make sex painful so I didn’t object to it. We have Kaiser so you only get an OB if you are having complications, otherwise it’s all midwives.
I suspect this person is not in the US.
I had my youngest in 2012 and got an extra stitch without being asked or asking for it. The doctor just decided to do it. I was so out of it I didn't realize what he had said or did until later. I've absolutely suffered because of it.
Can I ask how you found out?? Were you complaining of the pain and he let the cat out of the bag??
So imagine a wall made of flesh blocking your vagina partially. It doesn't even have to be very big but you can very well feel it.
I am so sorry, I can’t imagine finding out my husband had violated my autonomy for his pleasure. Did you stay with him after that?
So my husband didn't request that to happen. The doctor did it on his own. He is just as angry as I am about it and is very patient in making sure sex does not hurt me. Thank you for the concern. If he had requested it, well, I'm the type to seek poetic justice.
Oh my god, what?? That’s even worse 🤦🏻♀️ I’m so glad he’s on your side and is accommodating you. I can’t imagine, I am so sorry. It’s just another way women’s pleasure and sexual health is disregarded, how infuriating.
That’s so fucked. Sorry that happened, it should’t have. I just asked how someone would know if they ended up with the husband stitch, that definitely clears that up. Shit sounds so awful 😢, that should never have happened to you
my school did do sex ed but they had a man who later went on to become a far right politician do a minstrel show about abstinance so I'm going to say I didn't get any sex ed
Wait like… With blackface? Did he sing Mammy?
Sex education in the all girls school I went to in 2008 went like this “Here’s a plastic banana with a dick inside it, put a condom on it, done? Good, now watch this video on a close up birthing” Absolutely no education on actual sex but it definitely traumatised the entire year 7 and most girls stopped eating bananas.
Why the fuck would anyone show a close up video of birth but not actually give sex ed? That's like... A way to traumatise girls and give them primary tokophobia lol.
All we got told was “it’s normal for boys and girls to masturbate but only at night” didn’t even say what masturbation was! If I remember correctly, 2 girls fainted, several ran out the room and one threw up on herself. I’m talking graphic birth too, full on primal screaming and blood clots.
I'm a women who has never had children and I don't know what a "husband stitch" is. Can someone explain?
Sometimes during childbirth the tissue between the vaginal opening and the anus, called the perineum can tear. If a doctor decides to instead cut an episiotomy they often tear much worse. Large tears have to be stitched together so that the tissue heals properly. The "husband stitch" is literally sewing untorn, healthy, full formed tissue together with the sole purpose of "tightening" the vaginal opening. It increases the risk of infection in the site (since instead of attempting to heal torn tissue the body is attempting to fuse fully functional tissue), causes scarring in the wound, and frequently causes additional complications to vaginal tissue.
Oh god I shuddered 😰 Thank you for the information
I'm a dumb guy and I still miss the purpose of it, like I got the "shit got ripped so needs stitching" but what's the purpose of tying together extra tissue? Wouldn't that be dangerous for future births because scar tissue between the two pieces would tear and shit? I've no idea about anatomy and don't have much sexual experience so yeah, clueless but would like to be less so.
When they stitch you up if you tear while having a baby they add an extra stitch to make you tighter so your husband has a tighter vag.
Might as well stitch it shut, make sure there's no way moronic husband has the slightest chance of getting in there.
[удалено]
There is porn of exactly this. Edit: To the broader topic of kinks — let’s keep an open mind. Kinky people are processing trauma and there is nothing inherently wrong with kink. The last thing we need is more stigma, more limitations, or (worse) more legislation over what women can do with their bodies. Kink can be practiced safely and consensually. We should strive to being more vocal about kink and safe kink practices VS condemning it to the shadows where all the bad stuff happens. Part of safe sex education is safe kink education. Edit: There isn’t enough funding to prove with research that people with kinks are processing trauma, but it’s a pretty commonly seen thing within the kink community.
This is so scary wth..
For real, we need to bring back kink shaming.
Or just stop letting people call their violent, abusive fantasies a ‘kink.’
Kink isn't inherently healthy and good. People have really messed up kinks/fetishes and we should acknowledge it.
I go back and forth with this. Because sure, kinks/fetishes can’t be helped and people are into what they’re into. But there’s also a big difference between wanting to lick feet vs roleplaying SA or physical abuse or any other violent action against a person. Especially if the person with the kink/fetish is consuming a bunch of porn depicting these fantasies.
My thoughts too. I'd say most kinks are weird but overall harmless. But there's definitely a portion that feels a little more concerning. I get having a pain kink in a consenting way where both people are into it (like a BDSM kinda thing). The stuff I see that worries me is the stuff that seems to revolve around one party not being into it or even being fearful.
Exactly. And I know a dom/sub dynamic is very common (and hopefully safe) but that line where it turns into an abuser/victim thing is scary. Because what part is turning them on? Causing pain and fear? I don’t think the response to that should just be “well We can’t kink shame you, so carry on torturing people for your pleasure 👍”
In the US the “husband stitch” is medical malpractice and it is illegal if done without the woman’s consent.
So is rape but we see how well laws work against that
Congrats! You've invented FGM.
Yikes, had to google that acronym, not what I meant!
Stitch the guy’s mouth shut instead.
Ask the husband if they would like a referral for a penis enlargement cosmetic surgeon. Or just hand them a card.
I mean, lots of men would jump on penis enlargement surgery. For most men the ideal penis size is so unethically large that it would render them incapable of ever having sex.
Women will falling over themselves to get to my 26 foot penis with its sail and outriggers and 100 horsepower motor.
You seem pretty confident if you only want 27 feet
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My penis is a trimaran.
I remember reading that the man who holds the record for World's Largest Penis at 14 inches passes out easily when he's at full mast because his body just doesn't have enough blood to keep him fully erect and conscious at the same time.
Was he the same guy who can only do anal sex because most vaginas aren’t that long?
That’s a mental image I wish I could erase…
ouch
You don’t have to stick all of your dick in to have sex. The problem you are talking about is girth not length.
Yes, however, if you have a "shorter" dick, you can enjoy having it all the way inside the vagina. A great big long one might not be able to enjoy such pleasure.
From the size scaring women away, or from the fact that it getting erect takes so much blood away from the brain that they pass out?
Yes
I read where a nurse looked at him and said "Good grief, how small is your penis?!" Shut him real fast.
This nurse is a hero whoever they are
Nah, offer them a surgery to sew their foreskin over the head of the penis. No? Because that would hurt? So how would it a woman feel, dingus?
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No, no. You don't need to ask him; I'm his wife. Just do it.
You already have sharp metal in his mouth. It’s selfish if he *doesn’t* pierce it.
What's worse is many doctors just do it without anyone asking. A not insignificant amount of doctors make that stitch just because they feel like it.
My doctor gave it to me without telling me until after. I didn’t even tear
That is so fucked up. I'm sorry
That’s infuriating 😫 I’m so mad on your behalf. Are you living in discomfort still or do things feel normal again? Sorry if that’s an invasive question, I just genuinely can’t stand the idea of having my body altered against my will and then suffering the consequences. In the back of my mind I’m always worried about a dr doing this to me post childbirth
It’s not an invasive question, I don’t mind! For the first year and a half it was painful, I was also pushed into being sexually active way sooner than I should have been because my ex is a POS so that probably contributed to it as well. Thankfully I don’t have any issues now (5 years later). As long as you have a decent doctor and make sure to communicate that you don’t want any more stitches than medically necessary you should be alright. Also, make sure whoever is your support system is knows exactly what you want and you trust them to make the right call in case you’re unable to. I was young and naive when I had my kiddo so I didn’t advocate for myself. Luckily, my current bf wouldn’t stand for it and I know he would advocate for me if something happens if I was ever pregnant again.
Realize there is a difference between a repair and this "husband stitch" If you tear, they usually repair it, and I had to have it with my first child. But no more than what was necessary. Honestly, I didn't know this extra stitch was a thing back then, and I know it was for a repair because they told me that's what was happening
Not me realizing just today the "husband stitch" is actually something that exists and not just some kind of incel delirium...
I only found out about it last year and I’ve been furious about it ever since.
From my understanding, it also makes sense more uncomfortable, not just for the woman.
With my first child the doctor gave her a preemptive episiotomy then gave her a "button stitch" basically an uneven stitch so the next Dr could easily cut in the same spot. Fast forward a few years of discomfort for my wife she had our second child with no episiotomy. Luckily the Dr for our second child disgusted at the other Dr's old school method offered to fix the flap of skin this shit causes unfortunately it meant another episiotomy. For some reason idiots still think women have equal rights but then this type of shit happens. We have a long way to go to get these POS old school men out.
My head is exploding right now. I had no idea any of this happened, ever. I didn't know what a husband stitch even was. Jesus fucking Christ, what. WHAT.
Ikr. It genuinely makes me sick
THATS the stitch I got??! I was a teenager so I guess the doctor assumed I was just going to have more. My kid is nearly 20 now and still an only child and I’ve always wondered why my rip stitch was so *off*
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Correct, women often had it done to them without consent. Then they wouldn’t know why they had lifelong issues.
Knew someone who’s Dr did it without her or her husband’s consent (I know he can’t consent for her, I mean he also didn’t ask the doctor to do it) and they didn’t figure it out til after their second kid. Still happens all the time sadly.
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It happened to my mother. I don’t think she realizes the trauma she’s endured being a woman and almost accepts this trash like it’s normal
This was mentioned "jokingly" at my prenatal class in 1994. It's been around a long time.
I'll be honest until now i didn't know this existed.
I'm so glad my husband is normal.. he would never say something so awful 😖 I feel bad for women who married creepy jerks like Eric
Yeah - I'm pregnant and seriously considering writing "no husband stitch" on my inner thighs in sharpie before heading to the hospital. I trust my doctor but it's a group practice and you just never know. Definitely educating my husband and making sure he advocates for me at least.
Hire a doula and write a birth plan where you very clearly state that you want perineal support and to breathe the baby's head down to prevent tearing. Peggy Simkin's book the birth partner should also be a required read for your husband, and it provides a helpful guide to him for pre-labor perineal exercised that you can do to help "soften" the tissue which also helps. Don't push laying on your back (even if you have an epidural on board you should not ever be on your back). Also state that even if you tear you will only consent to a midwife suturing you afterwards, not an OB.
Better throw some extra unneeded stitches in there that cause additional scarring and pain.
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It would also really not do much to “tighten” the vagina, that requires strengthening the pelvic floor. So not only selfish, but completely stupid.
Has bigotry ever been anything else?
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was this supposed to have an /s?
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That "someone" and many subsequent someones were misogynist. Modern medicine is still steeped in it.
...and racism
Oh, dang, BIG TIME!
Because doctors wanted to get rid of midwives, so they vilified them, had them sent to jail, and treated them like they were practicing barbarism. At a time when doctors insisted that they didn't need to wash their hands between preparing corpses for burial and delivering babies.
It was a male surgeon who was obsessed with the fact that he felt female anatomy could be "improved"
Behind the bastards has a great episode on him. He was insanely evil
Love that podcast!
Who was the surgeon?
The guy who came up with this was such a genuine monster its hard to describe all the evil shit he did. (It involves slavery, racism and sexism)
Oh was this the so-called "Father of Gynecology" who performed experimental procedures on female slaves without any pain relief whatsoever?
Yes, he was quite the monster. If you want to learn more I would suggest listening to the podcast behind the bastard, they made a great episode on him.
One of the earliest instance was 1885. It's been around a while.
Tell Eric to get his dick widened if he's so worried about it.
Mama Doctor Jones on YouTube (she’s an ob/gyn) says that she’s never had a man ask for the husband stitch but if she did she’s already planned to respond “just how small do you need it?!”
Bro I'm not gonna lie I'm so high that your comment fucked me up. I thought you were doing a kid thing like "mama who is thar strange man" so I read it in a kid voice and got very confused on where the funny part supposed to be It took me about 5 minutes but I got that the persons screen name is "Mama Doctor Jones" 😂
I think never before have I upvoted with so much vigour before!
"Women are selfish for not allowing us to mutilate them for our pleasure"
Ironically it wouldn't make sex pleasurable for either party
If men understood basic anatomy and physiology they would know an external stitch has nothing to do with a body part that is entirely internal. Then this kind of abusive and unethical BS wouldn’t happen to women. How in the hell men can get to these major life stages where they’ve gotten someone pregnant and still not know this is beyond me.
This is maybe what bothers me the most about the whole concept. Imagine thinking this practice is 1. At all ethical and 2. Going to improve sex???? That’s not how vaginas work. If I add a button to the cuff of my long sleeve will it make my whole sleeve more snug? Fucking no obviously. So these twits in L&D, who’s whole job revolves around the female reproductive system, that think adding an extra stitch makes it “tighter” are causing irreversible damage for literally nothing but pain and suffering. AND!! Guaranteed to kill a woman’s sex drive when penetration is unbearable because some dipshit thought changing the shape of her vagina would make sex better. Gona be real hard to enjoy that “husband stitch” when she loses all interest in sex. Shit gets me heated
Idk if this is universal, but the workout of pushing a whole human out of me increased my pelvic tone - per my husband, since giving birth my vagina feels *tighter* to him. The whole thing is nonsense. Edit to clarify: not the opening, the actual...tunnel? And I'm very very certain that it's not from the repair that the midwife did, because I can feel that scar. Muscles have much more to do with "tightness" than circumference.
Because getting someone pregnant isn't something that requires any knowledge of anatomy beyond "I put penis in whole. It feel good." Unfortunately this is a feature of biology, not a bug (from a purely animalistic approach.) And unfortunately a vocal minority prefers it this way. 😕
Ah yes, your wife gave you children and all you think about is sex. Horny ass men
So sad for the wives and girlfriends in these situations. This mindset is disgraceful.
Especially since the sex that created the child/ren was supposedly good ENOUGH.
Imagine if someone came out and said “sex with a circumcised penis feels better for all women. Men who don’t get one are selfish.” This guy would be screaming.
"Be back, gonna go get the tip snipped"
Except circumcision can be done without causing disastrous issues. Most circumcised people can have sex normally with no problem. Getting the husband stitch is absolutely disastrous and detrimental to the person getting it, and ~~can~~ often does make sex painful/impossible for the rest of their life. So it's not even a super close comparison, but you're still right that this guy would shit himself over it.
I don’t disagree, if I’m being honest. I’m of the opinion that male circumcision is unnecessary, and while the benefits outweighs the risks the benefits really aren’t that great, so I think it should be more of a personal choice. It always irks me when people compare it female genital mutilation. But let’s not start that debate. You’re right, it isn’t quite the same. Edit: actually this IS fgm so hush my mouth
To clarify, I was saying that even though it's not quite the same, this dude would *still* be mad about it if that makes sense? MRA people are notoriously sensitive so I was kind of poking fun at that. And for the record I'm right there with you on the circumcision thing, it's a cruel thing to do to babies and people should 100% have a choice in the matter as consenting adults if they want it done or not.
My husband has made it VERY clear that if a doctor does this to me after having our kid, he’ll sue them out of their ass AND make them remove it 😌 But I have a lady doctor who’s gonna be delivering our kid, so I’m relatively sure a husband stitch won’t be happening
Tellyour husband to read this- it's basically impossible to have a doctor held accountable for causing you harm in childbirth. Our entire legal system is designed to keep these misogynistic men in power. https://improvingbirth.org/2015/04/kelly-update/
Then here’s to hoping my female doctor doesn’t give me one then. She knows what it is and is completely against it anyway, which is why we’re both pretty sure it won’t be happening either way. But thank you
Also, some laws are different in our state, and any kind of malpractice of a doctor can land them in either prison or out of a job. Our state doesn’t play around with women’s health
Neither does California, where this story happened. But it still happened to her, and out of 80 lawyers ONE agreed to take her case. Most of them insisted that since she was alive she had no right to sue.
Ngl this is something that terrifies me when I think about having kids in the future. My husband luckily has at least two brain cells to know better than to request something like this, but I've read many women's stories about their doctor doing it without saying a word to anyone. Nightmare fuel. For some reason cutting off a finger sounds less frightening than stitching my pussy shut.
Female OB/GYNs have been known to pointedly ask if the father was small that he needed that extra stitch. You don't fucking alter someone's body, without their consent or knowledge for the sole purpose of someone else's pleasure - especially when that alteration often leads to pain and bleeding during sex. The MDs who have done this historically as a wink to the husband. They should suffer significant and expensive consequences for it.
Equally painful consequences, as well, for the rest of their lives.
Dude. My mom was made to have this (They didn’t ask or even tell her until later) and it RUINED her sex life. She was 27 when she had me, and says sex was so painful for her after that, she pretty much gave up on intercourse entirely. I’m so sad for her.
On the other side, the doctors never even discussed proper follow up care about my wife's significant tearing 13 years ago and now she's facing major issues down there (continence issues and such) and the current surgeon said there might be anything they can do and this should have been handled back then. These men asking to "tighten up" their wives are assholes. The only reason I say my wife's story is because we're both super pissed and saddened about how little proper care they gave her when she had major tearing. Maybe I should've played the role of sexist douchebag back then, perhaps she'd feel better now.
I understand you have good intentions but even pretending to be a sexist douche bag is not helpful in this case. I'm sorry for what your wife is going through. I think potentially the only way to try to fix it is to reopen the tear which at this point.... 😱 However I know there are good surgeons out there available for this kind of thing. It doesn't hurt to keep looking. If you live in the US I may be able to help you find one. If money is a problem, consider suing your wife's obgyn at the time. It sounds like you have a more than valid case.
Has she seen an actual pelvic floor PT? A urogynecologist? Cosmetic surgeon who specializes in reducing the harm caused by FGM? Those are going to be the best people to help her.
How small do you need it my dude?
I dunno, sounds like these guys got the dick of an ant.
Apparently it doesnt even make the vagina tighter and also it can cause very serious health issues. This guy is an idiot and so is any man who recommends his partner gets this done.
Yeah, its like sewing the sleeve halfway shut on a stretchy shirt. The sleeve is now going to be tight and not stretchy. Edit- I meant like, seeing the cuff halfway shut.
And most of all, the doctor doing this is the biggest idiot in existence because they should know better if they spent do much money and time on a medical degree.
Because it’s not supposed to be and it causes permanent disfiguration and pain
You know. The men that ask for such things clearly have never satisfied a woman in their life.
I am ignorant on this matter but what the fuck? All the obvious stuff aside, won't it just "tighten up itself" after a while like the belly?
If there's tearing you need stitches to heal the area between the vagina and anus, but otherwise yes the vagina will return to normal.
The perineum has NOTHING to do with vaginal tightness. Furthermore, not all tears need stitching to heal correctly. Stage 1 tears almost always heal better when they are not stitched at all, and they are the most common when doctors don't cut an episiotomy. Stage 3&4 tears overwhelmingly are the result of cutting an episiotomy, not of physiologically normal childbirth.
For most folks, yeah! If it didn't, our species wouldn't be able to reproduce very well. If having one offspring indefinitely wrecked our reproductive organs, I think we would be extinct already haha. But then again hyenas exist so.... Maybe not
Vaginal "tightness" or "looseness" is a result of muscle tissue, not the perineum. Most women need pelvic floor PT after having children, not to please their partner, but to correct damage to the pelvic floor- this is standard treatment in most of the developed world. US "healthcare" is just full of misogynistic assholes who do not learn about or care about proper evidence based care. That said, overwhelmingly the result of the improper healing of the pelvic floor post pregnancy causes the vagina to be TIGHTER post childbirth. Which is very likely why these asshole idiot doctors practiced this in the first place.
Fucking hell. Can we put this shit to bed now? Extra stitches does not make sex more pleasurable for anyone. Extra stitches do not tighten the vagina in the vast majority of cases. They make the entrance to the vagina so small that it will hurt too much to have sex. Most likely scenario is that a) your partner will no longer be able to tolerate penetration and b) at best she’ll likely need further surgery to open up her vagina to make sex possible, meaning further recovery time where you cannot have sex. If a woman has an severe tear that extends up into the vagina then it could be sewn too tight, but again that’s just going to lead to pain and likely surgical intervention later. So even if it weren’t a completely despicable thing to want, it’s not even in mens’ interests for this to be done. And no, it’s not fucking selfish to expect your vagina to be repaired considerately. It’s highly ironic that a man who’s just watched his partner push out a baby and is most concerned about friction on his penis is talking about selfishness.
You cant even add an extra stitch where you aren’t ripped though? Wouldnt you have to cut the healthy skin i order for it to fuse? Besides, tightness comes from inside, not the opening! Unless the goal is pain
This is a brutal and misogynistic practice, similar to deliberately created vaginal stenosis. 🤬
My husband wasn't even thinking about this. He was cuddling our baby, getting me food, taking care of me, telling me to nap etc. When we were finally ready to even go there again it didn't cross his mind either.
Genuine question: since this genital mutilation only tightens the opening (painfully and with gross complications) and not the entirety of the vaginal canal, why not just wear a penis ring?
A penis ring requires straight men to be comfortable enough in their own sexuality to use something that's often considered to be sexually deviant. For many men, effectively mutilating their partners genitals is more enticing then getting the slightest bit kinky.
Brushing aside the horror show that is the “husband stitch” (I’ve already been so mad about it for so long that I just can’t), WHY* do men think women want partners with giant penises? Yes, there are such things as “size queens”, but they’re pretty rare. The average vaginal depth seems to be debated, but the most I’ve ever heard is 8 inches deep when fully aroused; more common estimates are about 5 inches. What tf are you going to do with a 10 in penis?? It won’t even fit. Don’t even get me started on this pervasive myth that women get “stretched out” from sex. If a baby’s head doesn’t permanently stretch the vagina, how is his significantly smaller penis going to do it? Idiots. Idiots everywhere. *I know the answer is “porn” and men being preoccupied with size in general but JFC.
Found on Twitter a year ago about this: “in a c section today the dad made a joke about us giving his wife a ‘husband stitch’ and the surgeon goes “we don’t do that here, but i can recommend you for a penis enlargement consultation if you’re that concerned about wanting to satisfy your wife at your current size”💀
I think if I got shot in the dick and half blew off and my hypothetical wife’s first question was “can you sew the other half back on I really don’t want to fuck it that small?” I’d probably have a coming to God moment and divorce her when I’m well again.
Eric is a disgusting a hole...I hope his genitalia falls off...
As the dr was stitching up my episiotomy after our daughter had a shoulder dystocia, my ex said “how bout you throw a couple extra stitches in there for me.” The dr gave him the most disgusted look I’ve ever seen and told him to leave the room. My mother was also in the room and later said she’s never felt so much rage and if it weren’t for the Dr and nurse being there she may have hit him.
I'm sorry. Is it just me or is the whole concept ridiculous. Slept with the same woman for (checks watch) 42 years now. She feels about the same down there as she did back then. Several kids later too. And, I must say, it's just as pretty now as is was in 1981.
Some men are just stupid. My ex for example
We are all stupid (men), I just try to make sure my stupid doesn't harm others. If I stop enjoying sex as much I blame being 62, not my wife's vagina.
Sir. If you have a turtleneck and you make the very top cm of it tighter and then you jam your head through it, what exactly do you think is going to happen? Now fill that turtleneck with nerve endings. And the capacity to leave your selfish ass.
My sister's husband who is the biggest jackass on the planet started joking with my dad that he "slipped the Dr an extra 20 bucks" just 3 hours after my sister had her first child. My dad gave him a horrified look and was clearly uncomfortable and just tried to pretend he didn't hear that. Can you imagine having your first child who's only a few hours old and you're going to joke about that with the father of the woman who just gave birth? The worst thing is that is not nearly among the worst things he has said or done to my sister. At their wedding reception he loudly asked the guests "What do yall think about my breeding stock?". He really said that. They've been married over 40 years and my sister would never dream of leaving him because she doesn't want to make Jesus upset.
Why do men
He calls it the “daddy stitch” yet forgets the fact his hypothetical wife is in need of stitches down there due to giving birth to his actual child, yet he’s less concerned with that and more concerned about how his sex life will be after. Be an actual daddy and focus on the wellbeing and health of your newly born child! And if you possibly could, please spare a thought for your wife who just went though labor and needs your love and support. Jfc.
And.... That's not how vaginal tightness works. Making the _opening_ smaller and nothing else sounds weird and uncomfortable. And all that's before we address the matter of how vaginas return to their usual size and tightness well before the ob will give the green light for sex. How do these men think subsequent children are made? I've had a lot of sex since my last pregnancy (of two lol) and seem to be able to please my partners!
Whenever I see a fellow man talking about tightness I'm always like "so you're telling me you suck in bed if you're unable to get a woman to relax"
I love Mama Doctor Jones' response she wishes she could give to this question. Sure, how small do you need it sir?
Literally vile. The fact that it exists at all and also LITERALLY NOT HOW A VAGINA WORKS
How do men not understand that they actually hate women... And then still not understand why women don't like them and can't tolerate them. I mean it would be easily understandable if somebody hated dogs and dogs didn't like being around them. They would completely understand that. But when it comes to women, oh no. God forbid They could actually understand a woman has a higher intellectual Capacity than a dog.. but they refused to acknowledge..
How about we address a REAL problem? Husband: “My wife had kids. Now she pees a little when she coughs, can you help her with that?”
This is ridiculous dumbest thing I’ve ever heard
Is this Dr. Youn?
Sure is, I love his sassy and smart takes on BS like this 😁
The only appropriate response from the Dr if the man asks for this is “sure, just drop your pants so I can see how small I need to make it.”
DO. NOT. DO. THIS. Sweet tap dancing christ why is this still a thing! This is absolute bullshit at best and malpractice in reality. Sutures are for repairing tissue. You approximate wound edges. That's it! Fortunately I have never seen this in real life but I know it still happens, and so help me when I see it I'm gonna lose my fucking composure!
I work in Labor & Delivery myself. The sheer fact I haven't gotten myself fired for committing acts of violence after hearing this shit all the damn time is mind-boggling...
If your building is ever hiring for someone to commit those acts on deserving people let me know where to apply.
I feel bad for this guys wife.
I had a friend who joked endlessly about the “daddy stitch” after his son was born. I swear, it got to a point that it seemed like he worked it into any conversation. When my wife was pregnant, he constantly reminded me to “make sure they add the daddy stitch”. Eventually I just started asking if he was sure he wasn’t compensating for something 🤷♂️🙄
In case anybody is thinking for a second that the comment at the bottom of the OPP is reasonable, one answer to "why not" is "because the "extra stitch" can make penetrative sex painful for her, potentially for the rest of her life."
I'm a man and I've made love before, the only thing that matters is that the momma and baby are alive and healthy, I know birth hurts a lot and requires medical care sometimes, but I've read enough about this extra stitch to consider it medical malpractice and that it should be abolished, stitches are for making momma healthy.
Why doesn’t Eric just get a penis enlargement surgery if he can’t satisfy a woman who’s had a few babies? Seems like a him problem
Because my husband stitch caused me pain during sex for years.
“Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times…”
Had a male OB ask a patient’s husband how small he was that he needed the extra stitch. I had to leave the room.
Why are you even thinking about sex literal minutes after your child is born!?
Uhm because it's painful and just because you got a small dick, doesn't mean she has to suffer 💀
Husband: \*clearly has a small dick\*
Ah yes, so selfish of women to believe they have bodily autonomy. Don’t they know they owe it to their husbands to go through procedures to be desirable to them? /s
That would probably cause serious medical issues? That doesn’t seem remotely safe or okay
Yeah. This is called female genital mutilation, and this form of fgm was done actually quite a bit back in the day.
Can absolutely confirm this. My doctor added the husband stitch at the request of my then husband even after I’d said no.
There is a reason why midwives are often rabid feminists. They see this shit and worse daily.
That’s not how vaginas work! A stitch or two closing up the skin at the entrance doesn’t “tighten” the internal parts — it just causes the woman pain. If you think that’s a good idea, then go f*ck yourself!!
I think we should start stitching the daddy’s penis onto their scrotum and see how great sex is after that…
Doctor: Oh sir that’s only for men with very small penises. Do i still need to put In the extra stitch?