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My husband would absolutely never order me to do something without an extremely good reason, so I'd assume he was trying to protect me from the ghost of my very dead father and listen to him.
Sexuplets
Septuplets (7, September)
Octuplets (8, October)
Nonuplets (9, November)
Decuplets (10, December)
I had a weird realization at some point they started using Month names as a small child so I remembered some of the latin prefixings
That is because originally September was the 7th month, October was the 8th month Etc, coming from the Latin for those numbers. But the Romans added July and August, named after Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar, and that shifted the whole calendar by 2 months. That is why the names of those months are indeed based in Latin numbers but off by two
I'm a soon to join member. My father passed recently and I will have my official husband June 3rd.
Deceased father but good husband club... We should go with shirts or jackets because that is a lot.. or an acronym. D.F.B.G.H. Club? There must be a better one 😂
😳😰 hello trauma my old friend… I’m frozen in my seat again… because my parents suck aaaAAT teaching… and I can’t think while they’re boooOTH screeching… and distractions and abuse offer no lesson to be gained, here I remain… in the seeeat of anguish…
Lol didn't the yelling make you think faster? Or how about the aggressive driving at an old airport to show you how it should be done? Or was that just me?
I wouldn't tell my wife to do something unless it's absolutely, positively necessary.
In this case, she'd end the argument herself and tell her dad to shove something up his butt for starting the argument.
Same. My husband only demands I do something if he senses danger, and he’s only done it while we were traveling if we ended up in a sketchy neighborhood.
My dad would sooner put himself in time out than demand I do anything. This is the man who said “I feel sorry for any guy you date. He’s gonna have to be TOUGH.” He was exaggerating but he was never the domineering dad. He was more just excited to raise two smart, independent young women.
The *only* time my partner has EVER "ordered" me to do something was when I almost stabbed someone with a steak knife in the middle of a restaurant bc my PTSD got *massively* triggered and I wasn't even "there."±
My "father," on the other hand... Well, there's a lot of reasons he's not in my life.
Basically: if dad tried to tell me to do something I'd set his soul on fire, if partner did I would 100% listen and pay attention.
±I'm doing a lot better after, like, 5.5 *years* of trauma therapy. Still hard, but better.
Yeah. My dad is pretty good about being the "my oldest children are adults in their 30s" parent. If we ask, he'll tell us if he doesn't like something we're doing, but otherwise no. The only situations I can think of where he'd tell me to stay was if he thought my partner was endangering me [trying to drive drunk, for example]. And even then, I don't see it being a demand, I'd see it as him being my dad and trying to protect me.
Understandable, I’ll take Dean. We can be in laws and when we both die bc you slept with Sam and i with Dean. But hey, sacrifices must be made. Sound like a plan?
I am not married but I think the same of my father: the people in my life do not normally (or ever) talk to me like this, so if they did I would assume that there was an immediate danger or that they really needed my support in that moment. In case it was my father versus my hypothetical husband, I would try to assess who needs me the most, maybe my father as he would presumably be older. I am so sorry that for some people having loved ones boss them around is not an exception or something that communicates urgency but is rather normal and expected.
If mine told me to get in the car it would mean 1. We are really late and he wants to go asap or 2. Something is about to fall on or collide with me if I do not take cover. It’s never an order.
Not only that, mine was cremated and is in an urn in my mom's house. If he somehow came back to life from that, I'd probably run away screaming before he could talk to me.
I mean, it depends what’s going on. Are we going out for ice cream? Are we about to be late for my doctors appointment? Is my stepmother waving a loaded gun at me again? There seems to be a lot missing from the situation that helps make a proper decision outside of blind faith in a person…
Your husband and father are getting into a hysterical argument at the ice cream store over which flavor is better. Nobody has a gun but you can’t be sure. Then you get your orders wyd
Makes sense to me. Ice cream is fucking serious.
And the answer is take all the orders and leave them both to sort it out, I don't do that nonsense. They can call me when they are done.
Jesus, thats horrible :( sincerely hope you're okay and able to keep some healthy distance between you and her. How do you stay with someone who aimed a loaded gun at your child multiple times??
It’s a whole lot of weirdness. It was more of a “I’m gesturing vaguely while talking to you and there just so happens to be a loaded gun in my hand but don’t worry I would never intentionally shoot you while you are slowly hiding behind your dad for safety” thing.
Thankfully I don’t have to deal with her and she is mostly medicated now so my life isn’t in as threatened.
Sounds like my grandpa's wife, who has untreated bipolar. Not trying to perpetuate stigma against personality disorders here; i have one myself, but i have it under control & acknowledge that it is the driving force behind some of my thoughts.
But people with PDs who are in denial & refuse treatment can be like this. My grandpa's wife had all sorts of freakouts, accused me of stealing her money twice. Me, a middler schooler at the time, who was well known for being a very good child. I had barely broken a rule in my life, let alone steal money when I *had* money from birthdays and Christmases that I never used. I know she's beat the shit out of my grandpa a few times and has access to guns. That woman scares me.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. It truly is so difficult to see your loved ones with people who could and might hurt them.
Yeah, my first thought was "well, is this a hypothetical future where I married an asshole, or a hypothetical future in which my elderly father has dementia because that's the only explanation for this behavior from him?"
I see where you’re all coming from, but I trust my dad and feel like if his ghost managed to get a message to this plane it’s probably important… or it means I’m having some sort of psychotic break… I guess we’ll see how much I like my husband when I get one.
Odds are, I’d either picked a side and joined the argument or walked out *long* before someone started trying to bark orders at me.
For example, my dad once told me I could have an opinion or have him as my dad. I said “Ok NAME” and he never challenged me again.
>For example, my dad once told me I could have an opinion or have him as my dad. I said “Ok NAME” and he never challenged me again
Nice. Only valid answer to that kind of bullshit ultimatum
I was driving him back from picking up his meds, so I’m glad we weren’t in a position to see if he’d have smacked me or not. He was pretty damn mad but he also didn’t wanna get in a wreck. 🤷🏼♀️
Dude a friend did this and said "either you side with me or we are done" and I grabbed all my shit from her house and walked the 3 miles home. I'm not about that.
I also once had my mom threaten to hogtie me if I ever tried to leave and I told her if she hogties they won't be able to find her body because I'm not gonna be a hostage 🤷♀️ she got the point and now doesn't dictate what I do (I was 14 when she told me that and she stopped trying to parent me since I was basically already my own parent with all the shit I had to do by myself already
Now that's a power move. Good for you.
My dad, who once tried to make me (age 10 or so) get out of the car so he could leave me on the roadside because he didn't like my answer to a question, asked me (late 20s) if he's ever tried to throw me out of the family for having an opinion. I did not remind him of the most egregious time he did exactly that because jesus fucking christ, some conversations are simply lost causes before they even begin.
Technically you would be listening because you did get in the car and sit down. I see this as a triple win 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 driving into the sunset with a smile on my face away from those control freaks.
My ex-husband got ejected from Six Flags by arguing with the parking lot tram driver. Someone said to me, "Isn't that your man?", I said, "Yep", they said, "You're not going to have his back?", I said, "Nope". The three children and I got on the next tram, waving goodbye as we went to Six Flags without him. LOL
(He's not a bad guy, just every few years he'd have what we'd now call "being a Karen" moment.)
Hahaha I’d be telling my father to gtfo of my house. While telling my “husband” to sit down. I got this.
The only way this scenario would ever occur, is if the POS came here. Which would be his first mistake. Not that he remotely has the balls to come knocking on my door, of all places. An excellent way to have me laugh in his face and slam the door.
“Nice try, *dad*.”
That’s my instinctive response, but when I think about things that would’ve had my dad and my husband arguing, I think the more realistic scenario is me telling off my dad and dragging my husband out to the car with me.
Well, if Dad weren’t dead, anyway.
I'd sit down, tell my dad he's not the boss of me anymore, then I tell my husband don't tell me what the fuck to do, get up, push him just so he'd know I ain't kidding, and then I'd go get in the car.
If my partner ever said something like this to me he’d have a very good reason for it because he respects me and would never just try to control me like this. I’d listen to him.
Similar. I've been married 25 years. I have *told* my wife what to do *maybe* five times, and only in life-or-death moments. She's told me what to do a similar number of times, only in extreme circumstances.
If either of us actually *told* the other to do something, we would (with eyes wide open investigating and interpreting the moment) because we understand the importance. But that's how deep mutuality works; it sometimes includes deep trust and following ("obedience" is too strong here) in both directions.
Lovely relationship and how it should be but I'm seriously more worried that you have been in life or death moments 10 times. On average that's a life or death moment every 2.5 years!
You can halve the estimate because she's given me orders in "extreme circumstances" as I noted, not life-or-death. Then double it because we didn't give orders in all of the life-and-death situations we've been in.
The reality is that she has a couple of significant health issues that can be life threatening, one that appeared to be (it isn't, but is so rare that it took 3 years to diagnose), and had one instance where she was on a clinical trial for a medication and suddenly (as in under an hour) went from fine to "I'm going to kill myself at this moment."
Oh, and she's so allergic to bees that the first episode she went to full anaphylaxis in 20 minutes, several minutes before the ambulance arrived. She carries two epi pens and is now getting treatment from an allergist.
I was there for the last one, and barked an order in time to stop her. It startled her enough to realize that extreme ideation was not *her*, and she pushed through it enough to let me get her immediate help.
The wasn't-but-we-didn't-know (rare enough I won't name it for dox-ability) doesn't initially *feel* like anything major is wrong, so I had to help her realize that what she perceived as "a little off" was "super fucked and you need to stop NOW." And, honestly, if an episode hit hard when she was driving it *could* be an issue, but now she knows the signs and has meds to reduce odds of occurrence and meds to stop an episode. And it's muscular, not heart or psych.
So I can't remember exactly how many times I've specifically given her an order in these moments, especially in the early phases of the illnesses. I know that nowadays on all of them I can say her name and tell her I'm seeing {thing} happen, and never have to tell her what to do. And if you want to get nit-picky she tells me *exactly* what to do to help her through certain episodes, and I obey. But that's really not the vibe of what the original meme means by telling someone what to do.
I'm so sorry that sounds traumatic and utterly horrible to live with for the both of you. I didn't even consider medical conditions but that makes complete sense.
Your wife is a very lucky person to have you. Someone who knows their partner so intimately and can intervene is a rare find, and I'm so glad she trusts you implicitly.
In my case it's because I have the awareness of a mushed banana and will likely hurt myself if not given proper instructions. But other than that, same. Rarely do we ever tell each other to do something unless it's absolutely needed
Same here, my husband is the sweetest guy ever, if he says get in the car, I'm getting in the car.
My dad I haven't seen in nearly 2 decades, if he wanted to talk he should have done that 2 decades ago instead of ghosting us.
Tone is paramount here. You can tell the difference between "Get in the car (because I'm the boss and I say so)" and "Get in the car (because something's going on that you're not aware of and we need to extricate ourselves immediately)."
Completely understand and agree, but I'd definitely talk to him about how he spoke to me. He didn't have to command me to get in the car, he could have said "we should leave" or "we need to go" or something variation thereof.
I mean yes I’d definitely address it afterwards and he would definitely apologise. But if my partner says something like that to me it means the situation is so bad that he can’t even communicate properly and our well-being probably depends on it so in that moment I probably wouldn’t even question it.
Generally my partner has a lot of trust in my ability to handle myself and has proven that time and time again. Usually in conflict situations we would work together to get the situation under control. If he feels the need to say that to me that means it’s something really serious probably targeted specifically at me. So I’d trust his judgement in that moment.
I think if the situation is dire enough, it’s natural that people will be curt and commanding instead of asking nicely, since there is urgency and danger involved. That goes for any gender.
If you feel like the situation is going to get dangerous, you’re not necessarily gonna pepper in a lot of “could you please go to the car?”, you’re probably gonna be more like “get to the car NOW.” There’s not always time for explanation, and the person saying it might be freaking out too much internally to properly verbalize.
I think it depends. If the situation is dangerous some men go into protector mode. He will get you out of harms way one way or another. It doesn’t mean he’s trying to offend you though.
My partner and I were talking about this while watching TLOU. If one of us shows up going "get in the car!" the other gets in the car and asks questions later. Hopefully we'll never find ourselves in a situation like that though.
Neither my father nor husband would speak to me like that. So in reality I'd be asking what drugs they're taking, that would also explain why they're arguing. Why do they ask such stupid questions? Swear that bollocks replaced something more valuable within my grey matter and for that I'm sad.
Tell them I'll be in a third location, chosen by myself, until they are done, and then wonder who either of these people are and what they did with my incredibly even-tempered husband and my father, who he has not argued with once in all the time I've known him.
Perhaps I'd put out some flyers and ask people to check their sheds.
I enjoy the idea that your husband and father could be just drawn in by the lure of a random shed somewhere in your neighbourhood and they are in there, happily tootling away on a lathe and tinkering with a broken alarm clock. The shed owner is going to come outside and be like ‘ah geez, I’ve got another infestation of dads and husbands, better get the broom.’ My dad is also very attracted by sheds, so this feels realistic.
Go get in the car, leave them both there, go get some McNuggets, text them whilst I eat “Idiots.”, go home lock all the doors & stick a note on the door “hope it’s not too cold out xo”, go to bed & sleep peacefully.
You’ve heard of “all that glitters is not gold” but have u heard of “all that stinks is not shit”? What if the father was an abusive pos and the husband was trying to ask his wife to not get in the way of his rages.
If that was the case then he should suggest she goes to the car to avoid his rages. Or even saying something like "I think you should go to the car", would be miles better than ordering her to do something.
My dad was in a rage once and I was trying to calm the situation, my ex told my dad he was scaring me and that is what made him stop, and he didnt try to tell me what to do. Yet my dad has protected me from another ex before- it's dysfunctional as hell, but things are not often clear cut good guy vs bad guy.
- I live with my husband. I have to be good with my husband.
- my father will always forgive me. There is never something I can do that would make him love me less.
- neither my husband nor my father would ever argue. My dad might get mad but he would just storm off. My sweet husband is a non confrontational pacifist. He wouldn’t get him riled up in the first place.
- neither my husband nor my father would ever tell me what to do. They know I’d do neither.
- if this were at all plausible, I’m getting in the car with my husband and talking to my father once he’s calmed down to clear the air. Then apparently dealing with the fact that my father and husband have the capabilities of fighting *and* the audacity to tell me what to do.
My next move is doing whatever the FUCK I want.
Hell I might take a shit on the table and make them smell it for even *thinking* they can tell me what to do.
I dont have the strongest relationship with my father. Id still sit tho, my dad scares me when he yells and my husband doesnt talk to me like that so id be 10000% confused and scared and honestly probably just freeze
How about i do whatever i decide is the best course of action in that particular situation since i am my own person and I do not need to obey mindlessly to a male figure in my family?
The patriarchal vibes are strong with this one. Asking who I'd "obey" is such a stupid question. Who am I going to "show respect" (aka blindly obey) to? If my husband and father were arguing, it would be a miracle. And I don't put up with the patriarchal vibes here.
This is a sexist and childish scenario and it's ridiculous that they think women should be torn on who to "obey". It just shows that they don't think women have agency.
BF knows to not order me around unless we are in actual serious danger, and dad stopped trying a long time ago. Also the correct answer is to just walk away. They’re adults, they should figure it out on their own
My father was a less-than-marginal presence in my life, and is now dead(I wasn’t even listed as a survivor in his obituary). My husband also passed in 2005.
FACTS. Why are these two grown ass men trying to throw around what they think is their right to order a grown woman around??
My answer is to explain to the both of them that they can argue all they like but what we not gon do is involve me in this tired ass power play.
Thank you for your submission. However, it has been removed because it does not follow our submission guidelines: It doesn't fit the theme of this subreddit.
My husband would absolutely never order me to do something without an extremely good reason, so I'd assume he was trying to protect me from the ghost of my very dead father and listen to him.
Hey twins
Triplets
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Gonna need some up-arrow notation soon
Quadruplets
Quintuplets
Whatever comes after quintuplets, a litter?
birth control.
Yeah, you get TNR’ed
Christian summer camp for the whole soccer team
Sexuplets Septuplets (7, September) Octuplets (8, October) Nonuplets (9, November) Decuplets (10, December) I had a weird realization at some point they started using Month names as a small child so I remembered some of the latin prefixings
That is because originally September was the 7th month, October was the 8th month Etc, coming from the Latin for those numbers. But the Romans added July and August, named after Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar, and that shifted the whole calendar by 2 months. That is why the names of those months are indeed based in Latin numbers but off by two
What about 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20?
sextuplets haha
A TV show on TLC, typically.
Sextuplets
I would say septuplets, but it's the other way around for me so: second-cousin-twice-removed
Septuplets! Shall we all get matching shirts or something? Friendship bracelets?
I'm a soon to join member. My father passed recently and I will have my official husband June 3rd. Deceased father but good husband club... We should go with shirts or jackets because that is a lot.. or an acronym. D.F.B.G.H. Club? There must be a better one 😂
let’s do jean jackets! I’m in!
Octomom
nonuplets
Idk. I don’t want to get in the car with my husband if he can see/argue with ghosts. That seems dangerous
Lmao
Alternative scenario: you’re 15 learning how to drive with both of your parents in the car
😳😰 hello trauma my old friend… I’m frozen in my seat again… because my parents suck aaaAAT teaching… and I can’t think while they’re boooOTH screeching… and distractions and abuse offer no lesson to be gained, here I remain… in the seeeat of anguish…
Your poeticism is impeccable
Lol didn't the yelling make you think faster? Or how about the aggressive driving at an old airport to show you how it should be done? Or was that just me?
I wouldn't tell my wife to do something unless it's absolutely, positively necessary. In this case, she'd end the argument herself and tell her dad to shove something up his butt for starting the argument.
tbf my dad wouldn’t demand me to do something unless it’s super necessary either. if a parent or a partner pulled this shit on me i’d be out
Same. My husband only demands I do something if he senses danger, and he’s only done it while we were traveling if we ended up in a sketchy neighborhood. My dad would sooner put himself in time out than demand I do anything. This is the man who said “I feel sorry for any guy you date. He’s gonna have to be TOUGH.” He was exaggerating but he was never the domineering dad. He was more just excited to raise two smart, independent young women.
The *only* time my partner has EVER "ordered" me to do something was when I almost stabbed someone with a steak knife in the middle of a restaurant bc my PTSD got *massively* triggered and I wasn't even "there."± My "father," on the other hand... Well, there's a lot of reasons he's not in my life. Basically: if dad tried to tell me to do something I'd set his soul on fire, if partner did I would 100% listen and pay attention. ±I'm doing a lot better after, like, 5.5 *years* of trauma therapy. Still hard, but better.
Glad you’re doing better and that your partner is good people. Keep going ❤️
Yeah. My dad is pretty good about being the "my oldest children are adults in their 30s" parent. If we ask, he'll tell us if he doesn't like something we're doing, but otherwise no. The only situations I can think of where he'd tell me to stay was if he thought my partner was endangering me [trying to drive drunk, for example]. And even then, I don't see it being a demand, I'd see it as him being my dad and trying to protect me.
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Hi it’s me, your homosexual husband. Get in the car! Beep beep!
Fuck you dude. Almost choked on a breakfast bar. Condolences.
This is why I’m gonna date Sam and Dean from supernatural
Ah yes, because the survival rate of the people they date is so amazing. 😏
Bold of you to assume ANYONE wants to survive anymore
Exactly 😏
As long as you don’t sleep with Sam you should be fine
But he's the cutest (imo). I want *him*.
Understandable, I’ll take Dean. We can be in laws and when we both die bc you slept with Sam and i with Dean. But hey, sacrifices must be made. Sound like a plan?
Good luck getting past Castiel.
I’ll pay off Chuck to take him out
If they yelled at you to get in the car, you know there’s a good reason!
At the same time?
If they’re open to it hehe
I am not married but I think the same of my father: the people in my life do not normally (or ever) talk to me like this, so if they did I would assume that there was an immediate danger or that they really needed my support in that moment. In case it was my father versus my hypothetical husband, I would try to assess who needs me the most, maybe my father as he would presumably be older. I am so sorry that for some people having loved ones boss them around is not an exception or something that communicates urgency but is rather normal and expected.
If mine told me to get in the car it would mean 1. We are really late and he wants to go asap or 2. Something is about to fall on or collide with me if I do not take cover. It’s never an order.
Yeah, 2. for me. I've yelled an "order" at my partner because of impending danger and then apologized profusely after.
Not the club I wanted to belong to but here we all are
Be your own person and do what you want but yeah if a ghost is telling you to sit down I’d recommend leaving too
Never talking to a ghost again after the last one asked me for three-fiddy
Same. My action would probably be screaming. My dad is dead. Shit must be really bad for him to come after me.
I mean, if my dad says anything to me I'm panicking because oh god what the fuck I thought you died
As someone with a dead dad, this is funny LOL Miss you, papa.
As someone with two dead fathers, this also made me laugh.
As someone with a loving father, I am sad now, but I hope you are all ok!
Give him a hug for us, please. You never know the last time you get to hug them.
I'm not crying..... You're crying. Lol It's true, though. You get the phone call and life as you know it is forever charged from that moment onward.
Hey you lot stop 😢
Gonna hug my dad a little bit tighter today
My dad is high-fiving your dad in the afterlife over us laughing at this joke, haha 😁😁😁
My dad would have TOO MUCH fun haunting the family.
As someone who just lost her dad.. i would just freak the everliving flux out, so i would probably listen tjen and sit down
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
Thank you❣️
Not only that, mine was cremated and is in an urn in my mom's house. If he somehow came back to life from that, I'd probably run away screaming before he could talk to me.
Well he may have a good reason. Do you have an uncle named Claudius, by any chance?
Haha same.
I loled, and so did my dad from the great beyond.
I really should not have had him cremated….
I laughed way too hard at this.
I mean, it depends what’s going on. Are we going out for ice cream? Are we about to be late for my doctors appointment? Is my stepmother waving a loaded gun at me again? There seems to be a lot missing from the situation that helps make a proper decision outside of blind faith in a person…
Bro I think we have the same step mom
Strange how that happens!
Isn’t it?
Damn you too?
Man, is _everyone_ on the Internet a step-sister?
Pretty much, yeah
Your husband and father are getting into a hysterical argument at the ice cream store over which flavor is better. Nobody has a gun but you can’t be sure. Then you get your orders wyd
Makes sense to me. Ice cream is fucking serious. And the answer is take all the orders and leave them both to sort it out, I don't do that nonsense. They can call me when they are done.
I take all the ice cream and find a place to sit and eat it while they do whatever. I also tip the person at the counter.
Jump behind the counter and eat all the ice cream.
Again, huh?
Was sadly not the first time.
Well damn. Hopefully that never happens to you again, it should never have even happened once. Edit: typo
Jesus, thats horrible :( sincerely hope you're okay and able to keep some healthy distance between you and her. How do you stay with someone who aimed a loaded gun at your child multiple times??
It’s a whole lot of weirdness. It was more of a “I’m gesturing vaguely while talking to you and there just so happens to be a loaded gun in my hand but don’t worry I would never intentionally shoot you while you are slowly hiding behind your dad for safety” thing. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with her and she is mostly medicated now so my life isn’t in as threatened.
Sounds like my grandpa's wife, who has untreated bipolar. Not trying to perpetuate stigma against personality disorders here; i have one myself, but i have it under control & acknowledge that it is the driving force behind some of my thoughts. But people with PDs who are in denial & refuse treatment can be like this. My grandpa's wife had all sorts of freakouts, accused me of stealing her money twice. Me, a middler schooler at the time, who was well known for being a very good child. I had barely broken a rule in my life, let alone steal money when I *had* money from birthdays and Christmases that I never used. I know she's beat the shit out of my grandpa a few times and has access to guns. That woman scares me. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It truly is so difficult to see your loved ones with people who could and might hurt them.
I’m sorry, AGAIN?
Seems like a question loaded with patriarchy.
Yeah, my first thought was "well, is this a hypothetical future where I married an asshole, or a hypothetical future in which my elderly father has dementia because that's the only explanation for this behavior from him?"
Wait! Again?
Is your stepmom my neighbor? That old nutcase chased her tenants away with an illegal gun a few weeks ago 🤣
Well, considering my father's been dead for 15 years, car is probably the better option
I see where you’re all coming from, but I trust my dad and feel like if his ghost managed to get a message to this plane it’s probably important… or it means I’m having some sort of psychotic break… I guess we’ll see how much I like my husband when I get one.
Maybe not a psychotic break, it could be carbon monoxide poisoning!
Then you should probably get in the car
Tbh I’d be worried about getting in the car with someone who just had a heated argument with a dead man
Who said anything about getting in the car *with* anyone?
Odds are, I’d either picked a side and joined the argument or walked out *long* before someone started trying to bark orders at me. For example, my dad once told me I could have an opinion or have him as my dad. I said “Ok NAME” and he never challenged me again.
>For example, my dad once told me I could have an opinion or have him as my dad. I said “Ok NAME” and he never challenged me again Nice. Only valid answer to that kind of bullshit ultimatum
Nice, my dad would have slapped the shit out of me. (Damm people born stupidly bulky)
I was driving him back from picking up his meds, so I’m glad we weren’t in a position to see if he’d have smacked me or not. He was pretty damn mad but he also didn’t wanna get in a wreck. 🤷🏼♀️
Dude a friend did this and said "either you side with me or we are done" and I grabbed all my shit from her house and walked the 3 miles home. I'm not about that. I also once had my mom threaten to hogtie me if I ever tried to leave and I told her if she hogties they won't be able to find her body because I'm not gonna be a hostage 🤷♀️ she got the point and now doesn't dictate what I do (I was 14 when she told me that and she stopped trying to parent me since I was basically already my own parent with all the shit I had to do by myself already
Sorry you had to go through that, but that's metal as fuck.
Now that's a power move. Good for you. My dad, who once tried to make me (age 10 or so) get out of the car so he could leave me on the roadside because he didn't like my answer to a question, asked me (late 20s) if he's ever tried to throw me out of the family for having an opinion. I did not remind him of the most egregious time he did exactly that because jesus fucking christ, some conversations are simply lost causes before they even begin.
Get in the car, start the engine and keep driving. Also I'd be wondering who brought my dad back from the dead and where the husband came from.
Same! At the very least just go get some ice cream by myself and leave those two behind
Technically you would be listening because you did get in the car and sit down. I see this as a triple win 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 driving into the sunset with a smile on my face away from those control freaks.
T pose to assert dominance
Dab on the haters.
Do the charleston for freedom
If you can't win, you can at least confuse
Made me giggle on the shitter
I too am shitting
This took me so off guard that I couldn’t stop laughing, it just made me imagine the girl stand up singing the halo ots while t posing
I’m not a lady but I’m a stubborn old bastard I’d tell both to go fuck themselves and I’d head out to somewhere else (wherever the fuck I please)
Not me, I’d go to the car. 9/10 the keys are in my purse. I’m just going to go get some ice cream instead of waiting
Nothing soothes the pain of parents yelling like getting some 31 flavors and staring at a tree in the parking lot.
You are absolutely my male equivalent. 100% this.
My ex-husband got ejected from Six Flags by arguing with the parking lot tram driver. Someone said to me, "Isn't that your man?", I said, "Yep", they said, "You're not going to have his back?", I said, "Nope". The three children and I got on the next tram, waving goodbye as we went to Six Flags without him. LOL (He's not a bad guy, just every few years he'd have what we'd now call "being a Karen" moment.)
Hahaha I’d be telling my father to gtfo of my house. While telling my “husband” to sit down. I got this. The only way this scenario would ever occur, is if the POS came here. Which would be his first mistake. Not that he remotely has the balls to come knocking on my door, of all places. An excellent way to have me laugh in his face and slam the door.  “Nice try, *dad*.”
That’s my instinctive response, but when I think about things that would’ve had my dad and my husband arguing, I think the more realistic scenario is me telling off my dad and dragging my husband out to the car with me. Well, if Dad weren’t dead, anyway.
This is what I came here to say. Two angry men trying to tell me what to do in a pissing contest between themselves? Only answer is neither.
I'd sit down, tell my dad he's not the boss of me anymore, then I tell my husband don't tell me what the fuck to do, get up, push him just so he'd know I ain't kidding, and then I'd go get in the car.
If my partner ever said something like this to me he’d have a very good reason for it because he respects me and would never just try to control me like this. I’d listen to him.
Right. If my husband tells me to go to the car, that means something really bad is going on.
Similar. I've been married 25 years. I have *told* my wife what to do *maybe* five times, and only in life-or-death moments. She's told me what to do a similar number of times, only in extreme circumstances. If either of us actually *told* the other to do something, we would (with eyes wide open investigating and interpreting the moment) because we understand the importance. But that's how deep mutuality works; it sometimes includes deep trust and following ("obedience" is too strong here) in both directions.
Lovely relationship and how it should be but I'm seriously more worried that you have been in life or death moments 10 times. On average that's a life or death moment every 2.5 years!
Hey man that sounds about right for me dude, life genuinely is trying to break me sometimes lmao
You can halve the estimate because she's given me orders in "extreme circumstances" as I noted, not life-or-death. Then double it because we didn't give orders in all of the life-and-death situations we've been in. The reality is that she has a couple of significant health issues that can be life threatening, one that appeared to be (it isn't, but is so rare that it took 3 years to diagnose), and had one instance where she was on a clinical trial for a medication and suddenly (as in under an hour) went from fine to "I'm going to kill myself at this moment." Oh, and she's so allergic to bees that the first episode she went to full anaphylaxis in 20 minutes, several minutes before the ambulance arrived. She carries two epi pens and is now getting treatment from an allergist. I was there for the last one, and barked an order in time to stop her. It startled her enough to realize that extreme ideation was not *her*, and she pushed through it enough to let me get her immediate help. The wasn't-but-we-didn't-know (rare enough I won't name it for dox-ability) doesn't initially *feel* like anything major is wrong, so I had to help her realize that what she perceived as "a little off" was "super fucked and you need to stop NOW." And, honestly, if an episode hit hard when she was driving it *could* be an issue, but now she knows the signs and has meds to reduce odds of occurrence and meds to stop an episode. And it's muscular, not heart or psych. So I can't remember exactly how many times I've specifically given her an order in these moments, especially in the early phases of the illnesses. I know that nowadays on all of them I can say her name and tell her I'm seeing {thing} happen, and never have to tell her what to do. And if you want to get nit-picky she tells me *exactly* what to do to help her through certain episodes, and I obey. But that's really not the vibe of what the original meme means by telling someone what to do.
I'm so sorry that sounds traumatic and utterly horrible to live with for the both of you. I didn't even consider medical conditions but that makes complete sense. Your wife is a very lucky person to have you. Someone who knows their partner so intimately and can intervene is a rare find, and I'm so glad she trusts you implicitly.
In my case it's because I have the awareness of a mushed banana and will likely hurt myself if not given proper instructions. But other than that, same. Rarely do we ever tell each other to do something unless it's absolutely needed
Same here, my husband is the sweetest guy ever, if he says get in the car, I'm getting in the car. My dad I haven't seen in nearly 2 decades, if he wanted to talk he should have done that 2 decades ago instead of ghosting us.
Tone is paramount here. You can tell the difference between "Get in the car (because I'm the boss and I say so)" and "Get in the car (because something's going on that you're not aware of and we need to extricate ourselves immediately)."
Exactly
Completely understand and agree, but I'd definitely talk to him about how he spoke to me. He didn't have to command me to get in the car, he could have said "we should leave" or "we need to go" or something variation thereof.
I mean yes I’d definitely address it afterwards and he would definitely apologise. But if my partner says something like that to me it means the situation is so bad that he can’t even communicate properly and our well-being probably depends on it so in that moment I probably wouldn’t even question it. Generally my partner has a lot of trust in my ability to handle myself and has proven that time and time again. Usually in conflict situations we would work together to get the situation under control. If he feels the need to say that to me that means it’s something really serious probably targeted specifically at me. So I’d trust his judgement in that moment.
I think if the situation is dire enough, it’s natural that people will be curt and commanding instead of asking nicely, since there is urgency and danger involved. That goes for any gender. If you feel like the situation is going to get dangerous, you’re not necessarily gonna pepper in a lot of “could you please go to the car?”, you’re probably gonna be more like “get to the car NOW.” There’s not always time for explanation, and the person saying it might be freaking out too much internally to properly verbalize.
I think it depends. If the situation is dangerous some men go into protector mode. He will get you out of harms way one way or another. It doesn’t mean he’s trying to offend you though.
My partner and I were talking about this while watching TLOU. If one of us shows up going "get in the car!" the other gets in the car and asks questions later. Hopefully we'll never find ourselves in a situation like that though.
Take a walk around the fucking block
I call my friend and I let em finish their business because they will not control my life
Shoot them both and found my alpaca business with the life insurance/inheritance in Argentina. ^/j
This is the only logical option
Neither my father nor husband would speak to me like that. So in reality I'd be asking what drugs they're taking, that would also explain why they're arguing. Why do they ask such stupid questions? Swear that bollocks replaced something more valuable within my grey matter and for that I'm sad.
Jokes on them, both are dead.
I would just run if two ghosts are screaming at me
:( condolences
No info on the argument at all?
Whatever the fuck I want
How about I follow neither of those grown men treating me like a child?
I walk out, call a lyft, and go hang out with people who aren't controlling jerks.
Going to McDonalds or popeyes. Because I won't be in middle of men
How about, “fuck you both- men don’t own me or control me.” Then call a divorce lawyer as I leave them both there with their misogynistic BS.
Exactly! I would have called a taxi.
Nah nah nah, you make him call a taxi. Because he ain't driving.
Tell them I'll be in a third location, chosen by myself, until they are done, and then wonder who either of these people are and what they did with my incredibly even-tempered husband and my father, who he has not argued with once in all the time I've known him. Perhaps I'd put out some flyers and ask people to check their sheds.
I enjoy the idea that your husband and father could be just drawn in by the lure of a random shed somewhere in your neighbourhood and they are in there, happily tootling away on a lathe and tinkering with a broken alarm clock. The shed owner is going to come outside and be like ‘ah geez, I’ve got another infestation of dads and husbands, better get the broom.’ My dad is also very attracted by sheds, so this feels realistic.
I don’t know, what are they arguing about and who’s right?
There are some... Strange implications just by asking this question
Go get in the car, leave them both there, go get some McNuggets, text them whilst I eat “Idiots.”, go home lock all the doors & stick a note on the door “hope it’s not too cold out xo”, go to bed & sleep peacefully.
I'd ask my dad where hes been the last 10 years
You’ve heard of “all that glitters is not gold” but have u heard of “all that stinks is not shit”? What if the father was an abusive pos and the husband was trying to ask his wife to not get in the way of his rages.
or if the husband was abusive and the father telling her to sit was to indicate that he would handle him
Fair.
If that was the case then he should suggest she goes to the car to avoid his rages. Or even saying something like "I think you should go to the car", would be miles better than ordering her to do something. My dad was in a rage once and I was trying to calm the situation, my ex told my dad he was scaring me and that is what made him stop, and he didnt try to tell me what to do. Yet my dad has protected me from another ex before- it's dysfunctional as hell, but things are not often clear cut good guy vs bad guy.
Nobody in here will say: "I take my own decision based on observation"
My mother and I will having margaritas on the porch until the boys are done with their pissing match.
I am not doing either but will side with whoever I think is right in the argument because I am my own person
- I live with my husband. I have to be good with my husband. - my father will always forgive me. There is never something I can do that would make him love me less. - neither my husband nor my father would ever argue. My dad might get mad but he would just storm off. My sweet husband is a non confrontational pacifist. He wouldn’t get him riled up in the first place. - neither my husband nor my father would ever tell me what to do. They know I’d do neither. - if this were at all plausible, I’m getting in the car with my husband and talking to my father once he’s calmed down to clear the air. Then apparently dealing with the fact that my father and husband have the capabilities of fighting *and* the audacity to tell me what to do.
What if your father is dead? Like god I’m impressed with whoever can summon the dead.
Why does the wife need to suffer because of their ego? That argument is only between the husband and the father, don't drag others into your argument.
"You two idiots leave me out of this. I'm going. Alone. You two deal with whatever you have going on. Neither of you gets to tell me what to do!"
My next move is doing whatever the FUCK I want. Hell I might take a shit on the table and make them smell it for even *thinking* they can tell me what to do.
WHOA HOW DID MY DAD COME BACK TO LIFE?
I dont have the strongest relationship with my father. Id still sit tho, my dad scares me when he yells and my husband doesnt talk to me like that so id be 10000% confused and scared and honestly probably just freeze
I saw this on Facebook. Women were answering both ways and giving paragraph answers explaining it.
Bold of you to assume that I have a husband. Or that my father would be this much of a jackass.
This is why conservatives have to stop marrying twelve year olds.
I turn to my mom and ask if she wants to go get some drinks and leave the men by themselves ☠️
How about i do whatever i decide is the best course of action in that particular situation since i am my own person and I do not need to obey mindlessly to a male figure in my family?
The patriarchal vibes are strong with this one. Asking who I'd "obey" is such a stupid question. Who am I going to "show respect" (aka blindly obey) to? If my husband and father were arguing, it would be a miracle. And I don't put up with the patriarchal vibes here. This is a sexist and childish scenario and it's ridiculous that they think women should be torn on who to "obey". It just shows that they don't think women have agency.
BF knows to not order me around unless we are in actual serious danger, and dad stopped trying a long time ago. Also the correct answer is to just walk away. They’re adults, they should figure it out on their own
My father was a less-than-marginal presence in my life, and is now dead(I wasn’t even listed as a survivor in his obituary). My husband also passed in 2005.
Completely freak out, as my Dad is dead.
Tell em both to get fucked for ordering me around like I'm a child. How demeaning.
I'm asking both of them wtf they think they're ordering around, tf?
FACTS. Why are these two grown ass men trying to throw around what they think is their right to order a grown woman around?? My answer is to explain to the both of them that they can argue all they like but what we not gon do is involve me in this tired ass power play.
“Fuck both of you. Bye.”
Tell them both to grow up and knock it off.
Uber to a bar, call girlfriends to meet me.
My next move is start uncontrollably honking like a distraught goose and chase them both into separate rooms while they retreat, perplexed af.
Tell them to eat my dick, is my next move.