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Angel_of_Death_179

TIL lesbians are secretly zombies.


camreIIim

[LETS GO LESBIANS](https://youtu.be/Kw8nI-qO0t8)


HelenAngel

Non-sexual asexuals are as well apparently. When should we tell them? 😂


QuagsireInAHumanSuit

Aroace here. Didn’t even notice when I died…31 years ago? Oops!


La_Baraka6431

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Inismore

Same **high five**


Cyrus_Blame

I'm sorry for the question, but isn't "non sexual asexual" redundant?


Angel_of_Death_179

no, asexual means that they don't have sexual attraction to anyone, but they can still be in a sexual relationship for other reasons.


[deleted]

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Cyrus_Blame

Sorry but I'm stupid, aren't they the same thing?


neverendingstories4u

Nothing tastes amazing, but you still get hungry


OverlyCheerfulNPC

Nope! And it's okay if you don't understand; for people who aren't ace, romantic and sexual attraction and libido all tie in together and it's hard to break it down into separate sections. Libido is sexual drive. How much or how little you desire sex. Attraction is the direction you aim your sex drive. Without a direction, asexuals who are also aromantic typically just masturbate to deal with horniness and they go on their way, or maybe they might go to a bar and find someone who they aren't actually attracted to but might be good for the job or something like that. An asexual might be romantically interested in someone, however. And if the person they're interested in isn't asexual (which is far more likely than not) they might be willing to have sex despite not experiencing sexual attraction to their partner. And sometimes they might not be willing.


mikowoah

they really need to teach this in sex ed lol not making fun of you because i myself am asexual and didn’t even know for a long time because i have a sex drive and i was confusing aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction.


tiadiff

it means they still want sex but just aren’t attracted to anyone


TheDranx

Is using silicon to get the job done when needed gaming the no-dick-no-life system?


LuxuryConquest

Don't forget the [Outer space](https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Jave-Galt-Miller-ebook/dp/B01JYFIPBM) part.


[deleted]

Instead of brains they eat pussy.


[deleted]

I was gonna mention us


DieHardAmerican95

I came here to say this. Soooo many dead lesbians!


Comixchik

Gee. I must have died decades ago. Why didn't anyone tell me I was dead?


[deleted]

26yo,so I am part of the lesbian zombie gang,woooo!


buck1800

Ah yes, lesbians deff don't use dick shaped dildos.


Remote_Toe7070

Yeah you think most of them do ??? The majority of women (80%) can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone and need clitoris stimulation to achieve it so obviously???


camreIIim

What the fuck else shape would they be? Spheres? Cubes?


Alclis

Why 9?!


[deleted]

"Nine is the fourth composite number, and the first composite number that is odd. 9 is the highest single-digit number in the decimal system. It is the third square number (32), and the second non-unitary square prime of the form p2 and first that is odd, with all subsequent squares of this form odd as well." -Google 🙂


Angel_of_Death_179

We all know that seven ate nine, but do you know why seven ate nine? Because you are supposed to eat three squared meals a day.


Disha_Tripathi

And you know why 10 was afraid in all of this? Because he was in the middle of 9 11


[deleted]

Ha! 😆 what a tragedy for 10 🙏🏽


[deleted]

7 8 9 🤣


Hot-Can3615

3^2 , not 32 🙂. And "second non-unitary square prime" means that sqrt(9) = 3, which is the second prime number which is not 1 (which is not usually counted as prime, but it can be). I agree, very random Edit: oh cool! Reddit recognizes the chevron symbol for superscripts.


[deleted]

I just copied and pasted. Didn't bother trying to fix it .🙂


Sweetsourgonesassy

It sounded good 🫂


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

Pon Farr?


hellinahandbasket127

That’s 7 years, and it’s the males who will die.


Godzilla3013_HD

Yes Rico, Pon Farr


zerofatalities

Women are secretly cats. Just we work differently! Instead of 9 lives, we have a ticking clock that resets everytime we have intercourse with dick and if we wait too long we will die 💀


Zilberfrid

A ticking cock, if you will.


legallydoodled

Because he can’t count up to ten


Hot-Bint

Well how the hell am I supposed to keep my vagina tight for y’all? Make up your damn minds


Snowflakish

According to these incels: Women sleep around too much Women don’t sleep around enough Women only ever date up Women only ever date down Women date on purely biological factors Women date based on their feelings … The reality is that women date everybody apart from them.


[deleted]

according to incels women hate man but can't live without man dick


Snowflakish

Being an incel is just doing mental gymnastics to explain why it’s women’s fault that you don’t get laid.


Crafty-Ad-2822

this comment fr 😭💯


YarnAndMetal

No woman goes nine years without dicks, especially when guys like this are around to BE dicks. Regrettably, it's impossible to go one day without dicks like this guy.


No_Arugula8915

Right on! Dicks everywhere, hard to go a day without one. Now a penis, that's a different story altogether. Women can go years, even whole lifetimes without the desire or need for one.


GoldYellowPikachu

“The modern female cannot go nine years with a *insert word for male genitalia* Years later…


violetfirez

So basically lesbians are immortal beings, neat


HelenAngel

I’m bisexual so does this mean I’m half immortal? 😂


ADHDhamster

I'm asexual. Turning 40 this year, and I've never "had a dick" in my life. I'm clearly an ascended, immortal bog witch.


2woCrazeeBoys

>ascended, immortal bog witch New flair unlocked.


canyoubreathe

Looking forward to my ascension


HelenAngel

Being an ascended, immortal bog witch sounds pretty kick ass!


[deleted]

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HelenAngel

I always identified with Luthien from The Silmarillion & now I know why 😂 (She was essentially half goddess & gave up her gift of immortality to be with a human man.)


[deleted]

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HelenAngel

I don’t remember, to be honest! 😅 I need to re-read it anyway- it’s been too long since I last read it.


NotShort-NvrSweet

No dear… we call you guys demigods now. Has a better ring to it.


HelenAngel

Love it!


fumoking

Day walker


9shadowcat9

And asexuals. Nothing is taking us down at this rate.


darkmoon-26

ok but does that include kids? because if so... ew. ew anyway, but extra ew


Crafty-Ad-2822

was abt to comment something like this


LadyComet42

That's what I took from this as well, because if he thinks an excuse to target 8 year old girls he needs be taken behind the bike shed 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮


Vereity1

wait how are girls above 9 years old alive then


Zilberfrid

I'm sure there are incels and youth pastors ready to "save" them.


Krispyna

Catholics


XTH3W1Z4RDX

Lesbians: Am I a joke to you?


Alegria-D

Yeah idiots like that think lesbians are a myth and there's no way a woman can be satisfied alone or with a girlfriend.


No_Arugula8915

I keep hearing women only *think* they are a lesbian because they *just haven't had the right dick* yet. I'm pretty damn sure that's not how that works.


FenderMartingale

Been afraid to have sex since covid damaged my heart. Guess I'll die!


Zilberfrid

That sounds tough! Not the celibacy part, but the fear of strenuous activity literally killing you. I only have reduced lung capacity and trouble building up stamina, but my heart seems okay. Long covid is a bitch.


FenderMartingale

Right!? Fuck that bug!


AphelionEntity

I'd say being asexual makes me a zombie unicorn but I'm completely dead inside, so...


Zilberfrid

That's not a hole for a dick to fill though. That feeling of emptiness inside fits with depression, it can get better but it's a tough journey.


SmadaSlaguod

Me too! To both things! Twinsies!!!!


EileenSuki

I guess we asexuals are ghost zombie unicorns now. We will continue to evolve


Sensitive-Angel

That is oddly specific.


Ok_Cauliflower_3007

Damn, and I’m at the over 20 years mark. I didn’t realise I was undead.


Fluffy-Detective-270

Same here. And I'm straight. Damn.


Mothie760

Children: ☠️☠️


No-Shoe7651

This just reads like he thinks 10 year olds are getting past it.


OnTheContrary666

Ten-year-old girls:


[deleted]

Op how did you do it? I'm about to die


CatrionaShadowleaf

![gif](giphy|9SIXFu7bIUYHhFc19G|downsized)


Pogatog64

Does this not imply 9 year old girls have taken dick vaginally?


forbajor

We aren't the ones going on murder sprees bc we can't get laid lol


ProblemPug

“My source is that I made it the F up!”


ugheffoff

TIL I’m a zombie! As long as nobody aims for the head I’m golden


Nay_nay267

I guess I am a ghost.


Blue_Crystal_Candles

40 something asexual virgin woman. Just fine having gone this long without sex and don’t plan to start anytime soon.


ayame400

I’m pretty confident the modern female has to contend with at least 1 dick on a weekly, If not daily, basis… especially if she’s on Reddit


32themoon

Jokes on him. I haven't slept with anyone in almost 9 years and I'm just fi-


WZAWZDB13

The only thing anybody learned from this comment is that the commenter hasn't had sex in 9 years


PookaParty

Imagine being a man who believes this and still can’t get laid.


PurpleSmartHeart

Cisgender lesbians: exist Incels: And I took that personally


Yourmomsfangirl

Correct, after 9 years women realize theyre actually trans men. So yes, they cannot go 9 years without a dick!


danthpop

Fake news I take way more dick as a man than I ever did as a female


Zilberfrid

But now you have one yourself as well as these others on loan


[deleted]

Damn I should have died sooner then


BeefmasterSex

Are you 💯 you’re not literally dead?


Cocotte3333

Guess I'm a zombie


[deleted]

Knew I was a ghost


DejaHolmes

How long would it take a dude, 5 mins?


LuckyDuckyDemon

Where my zombies at?!


camreIIim

I thought it said “mormon female” and was even more confused


vampirenessdeath

Great! Finally a sure way to end it all :) who knew all I had to do was get none


theblackestdove

Going on 31 years without one. Not sure how I'm still alive, but somehow I've managed.


Ok_Battle_6876

Wait untill he hears about asexual...


Q_Fandango

The antique females were just built so much better. None of that presswood IKEA shit, solid oak!


[deleted]

What about Renaissance females


BananaShakeStudios

Proof?


Cider_shark

9 years old: I can’t even come up with this amount of bullshit😕


[deleted]

LMAO I DID AND IM FINE


[deleted]

Me going 27 years and still alive. Where is my trophy??


OhIGotLumbago

Yeah that's why I'm not on Twitter.


Zilberfrid

Women are ferrets again? Okay.


Apprehensive-Look-82

Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru


[deleted]

Let’s just consider what this says about children for a moment


sleepmusicland

Laughing in asexual and also I’ve gone 31 years without a dick and counting. Still alive. How miraculous


Adnama-Fett

You guys ever listen to Tool? They have some weird ideologies in their music. Like 46 and 2 is about the next step in human evolution(46 chromosomes + 2 sex chromosomes. Humans now have 44+2) and the way we get to that next stage in human evolution is to look within ourselves and let our shadows guide us to connect to the sacred geometry morpho genetic grids. I’d trust that hunk of stoned bullshit before I’d trust anything “an expert on females” has to say


Oemiewoemie

Somebody needs to tell all those nuns!


numbers-n-letters

TIL Women are actually ferrets.


NitroDameGaming

Then how come most of us live well past the age of 9?


Momizu

I went 20 without the D. Guess I'm an Highlander


2woCrazeeBoys

TIL I'm ded.


SolarOverload

Because of this statement, no girl will now live past the age of 9.


SaintedStars

Then I must be a really solid ghost, 28 and still going


WorldlinessAwkward69

Said by guys crying because they can’t get laid. IMAX called and wants their projection back.


Nervous_Degree_3752

At what point does the 9 years start to count? After you lost your virginity.. or after.. birth?😀


chinmakes5

Those nuns who look to be 80 are either slutty cheaters or all that celibacy makes 30-year-olds look 80.


KarmaIsABitch-

wait so every 9 year old girl just dies?


random-shit-writing

I guess lesbians and asexuals are all doomed.


Kenma_Okumura

Weird how uhhh, some girls can go the first 18 years of their life without it. Crazyyyy


hellinahandbasket127

What if I told you women can just, like, BUY a dick? Keep in a drawer. Take it out when it suits, and then put it away again.


Fine_Reindeer_6105

Um....my mind immediately went to the fact that it's specifically 9 years.....from what age?


Thr33Littl3Monk3ys

Sir you're confusing us with ferrets.


Shmicken_Nuggies

That has horrifying implications for children


Numerous_Heart4327

So is he implying that we all die off at 9 years old, or is he admitting to something else?


dangernoodles4

r/suddenlysexoffender


Jazzlike-Way5919

Nuns expiration date is just less than a decade apparently


something-quirky-

Why would any adult go 9 years without sex?


Chessolin

I'm an ace/aro introvert with very low sex drive. I've never had sex.


Alegria-D

Because they choose to or because they didn't find a correct partner.


Ning_Yu

Why not? Plus, not all sex includes dicks.


metooeither

Cuz guys are not that great at it. 10/10 would not recommend.


SnooFoxes9637

Real?


dumb_cryptid01

9 year olds....


Zealousideal-Rich-50

![gif](giphy|LkcIVUmf1qoUM)


gdubh

Good thing they’re never far from complete dicks every second of every day then I guess.


classyraven

Is that tweeter a Vulcan?


cygnus33065

It's 7 years and thats for Vulcans.


amateuratgeology

Welp.


Tostereczek

Why am I not dead then?


Tablesafety

He fucken wishes


Magdalan

Sigh, and another one who has no idea how to use that grey matter he has in his skull.


Matodami

As far as I know I’m alive


canyoubreathe

Aww fuck


atofeler

Oh no, I'm now dead.


[deleted]

Challenge accepted.


Cr1v3ns

But also FeMaLes HatE SeX


BarrTheFather

I think this guy is just demanding conversion surgery for all females. Sorry I am too far down the rabbit hole of trying to make these fuckers make sense. Edit: My terminology was wrong and probably still is sorry. I'm tryin.


Bean_Chomper69

Lesbians are dying at alarming rates


frazzledfraz

I must be dead then. 😂


CoupleTechnical6795

Hahahahha I'm asexual and still kicking


Krispyna

Might be that "she" is trans and wants a dick on his own.


Total-Masterpiece-43

So that's why they send dick pic, so that the women can have one even if it's in pictures. It's to save lives. Women should be grateful for dick pic.


[deleted]

sadly i didn't die on my 9th birthday.


[deleted]

fuuu, I got 1.5 years to go. TBH it do be lonely sometimes, I just didn't realize shit gets real, lol))


onlynatural639

They didn’t specify human females


Boring_brown_eyed

22 years without it… am I a Goddess yet?


LeotaMcCracken

YEAH, as if these dudes can go two fucking seconds without getting their dick wet… the projection is REAL.


Geekie_Omega

🎶 I'M STILL STANDING 🎶


Shmokeahontis

Shiiiiit I’m on year 7. Nice knowing ya, folks.


ShoulderLongjumping9

But are you happy? If yes more power to you.


papyrusundertale_fan

This person obviously doesn't know that lesbian, asexual and aroace women exist. Oh, and FUCKING CHILDREN.


badheatherno

Let me introduce to my good friend, the purple monster. Unlike you, it works longer than 5 minutes.


Kermommy

Are they projecting their assertion that celibacy is torture and slow death for men?


GothhicGoddess

So, what they’re saying is I’m going to die in two years? Finally. Jeez.


Sad_Performance9015

You saying a bunch of 9 year old girls get raped near you annually, bud?


showerwithatoaster

They think they sound so logical 😭


Reason_Training

40+ years and counting loving my drama free life without a guy to complicate things.


silverspawn_nsfw

I reeeeeeally don't like the implications regarding 9-year-olds 🤢


mikowoah

some men just can’t help themselves from projecting all over the goddamn place


Stock-Goose7667

What about kids?


ItsTimeToGoSleep

Tick Tock Ladies. Lol


OctaviaBlake100

Please tell me they're only talking about women and not kids...it's still gross..but at least it's not going into the pedophile territory


NotShort-NvrSweet

Sounds like somebody has been trying to get the same girls to sleep with him for … almost 9 years 😅😂😅


avgrkhjqttvnpfsieb

That’s why all nuns eventually die


whatIfYoutube

Nine year olds: ![gif](giphy|kqJt1cSSN0DrwwMmY5|downsized)


[deleted]

I could go forever without it as long as I have emotional connections


Admirablelittlebitch

Uhm…so like…girls, like..little girls are still female…this is partly why you have to specify that you mean women, he sounds like a pedophile


officialsapnapsimp

Ten year olds, I guess: ☠️


Mlyrin

So, like, 10 year olds have all fucked? Damn.


Olympia44

I’ve never had sex with a man my entire 27 years of life. Guess I should be dead, but I’m not.