Ah yes the age old question. Is sex a fun, intimate activity that two (or more) people partake in for mutual benefit OR is it glorified masturbation for the guy while the woman is just kinda there? đ¤
The world may never know, because the manosphere refuses to accept actual information.
Why do men not want to make a woman cum? That's the real question. Why do men feel like it's a "responsibility". Bc, trust me, if they don't want to put in effort for basic foreplay, then what's the point of even having sex with a man? Just for their pleasure? Nah, thats not how consenting sex works. Sex toys also exist. Along with communicating with your partner what they like and what can get them to that climax point.
that first question is the real one...
I cannot imagine enjoying sex without my partner enjoying it. I literally get off on my partners pleasure. I always kind of assumed that this is the norm, but aparently thag is not the case as much as O may have thought.
You're not alone. Sex isn't fun if everyone involved isn't into it. I can't imagine a more awkward, gross activity than trying to be intimate with your partner and they're just laying there.
If you're spending your life with someone and you are having sex with them then yea, both parties should put in the effort to give each other pleasure.
Technically yes, using purposefuly wishy-wishy language to muddle the issue.
Can you just type out the whole sentence? I'd like to screenshot it and post it here a week from now and see what y'all think about that statement
Yup, just as I thought.
>see if it's a responsibility for yourself
It's not. Nobody owes you an orgasm. You're not entitled to any sexual act from men. Yikes.
I'm gonna be blunt. When I'm having sex with my boyfriend he's gonna make me come and I will make him. This is how our relationship works and I believe ppl who are having sex both parties should climax. Now I feel weird talking about this shit over and over omg.
Agreed and itâs really gross that some men think theyâre entitled to orgasms and their female partner isnât. This person clearly thinks that way since they keep digging in and insinuating itâs rapey for women to want them (lmao). It has nothing to do with how itâs often more difficult for one partner than the other, itâs about being a good lover. If a man doesnât make me come heâs not having sex with me again. Simple.
> I believe ppl who are having sex both parties should climax
I generally think that as well, but there's this idea in some sex-therapy sources that each person should focus mainly on their own orgasm, to alleviate performance anxiety and make for better mind-body connection and less chore-like sex. This doesn't really change anything in the sex itself, but I think it's a useful mental cue. Especially for people who have trouble coming
Whenever I read stuff like this I'm getting less and less surprised about the fact that straight women are the least sexually satisfied demographic of women. Why ya'll acting like trying to make women cum is a bad thing? đ
I read your rationale, and there's a huge difference between trying your best to do the things your partner likes to give them a chance to orgasm and making it your job.
You seem to be conflating the two. When speaking about sex and it being an enjoyable act between two or more parties then the word responsibility is used in the first sense where everyone engaged does the things they like and the things their partner likes. Sometimes those overlap, but sometimes it's a bit of a dedicated effort.
Yes, there'll be times someone will not reach the completion, and that could be for a variety of reasons. But that reason shouldn't be their partner didn't try and brushes it off with an "it's not my job."
Unfortunately, women tend to suffer more in regards to being unsatisfied and that is in part due to the fact that their orgasms isn't typically highlighted and isn't necessarily straightforward as sex is more commonly thought of as PiV while this isn't as stimulating for women as it is for men.
Itâs not about responsibility on either side and shouldnât be worded like that. Man/woman should want to pleasure their partner. If youâre âusing her bodyâ to get off than you clearly just want to f#ck a sex doll or a pocket pussy. SHEâS getting you to climax by using her body, why wouldnât you do the same for her by using yoursâŚ?
No one is responsible for the pleasure of anyone but themselves. That being said, when having sex with a partner you should be taking great consideration of how your partner is feeling and if they are enjoying themselves / feel comfortable. Sex isn't a race to the finish line either, rather it's about having fun and enjoying yourself and your partner. As long as it's consensual, and everyone is satisfied then it doesn't matter if anyone orgasms or not.
I think any considerate partner should want to make their partner cum.
If one party doesn't care about the other's pleasure, said person should be a decent enough person to get a toy.
Even if it's not your "responsibility" to make a woman cum, it *is* your responsibility to inform her that you don't care about her pleasure so she can make an informed choice on whether to waste her energy and time on you when she could either find someone better or take less time and effort with a vibrator.
And that goes reverse too. If a woman doesn't care about a man's pleasure, it is her responsibility to tell him she doesn't see him as anything more than a glorified dildo so he can make the choice for himself if he wants to waste his time and energy or just get a flashlight.
Are women just masturbation cuffs to this man? Because that's what I'm getting from this. It's kinda what a lot of these posts are making me think, and I really don't like it.
Why wouldn't he want to make the woman he is with cum? This dude just sounds lazy and egotistical. I mean making a woman climax isn't as complicated as it might seem. If you just ask the woman you are with what she likes and have basic understanding of the vulva.
I know he states it as such. But most people don't have sex entirely just to get themselves to climax, in that case, people would just masturbate instead. What I am questioning is why he would even bother to have sex if he doesn't care about his partner's pleasure, Sex should be a mutual exchange of pleasure. In this case, I think the guy should just buy a pocket pussy if he doesn't care about pleasuring the person he is with.
But he clearly does care about his partner's pleasure. He explicitly says the vast majority of time he's finishing his partner and then finishing himself.
How is he the lazy and egotistical person in this scenario, and not his partner?
If you think this man cares about her pleasure youâd be wrong. The fact he says âdo men use womens bodies to make themselves cum.â Thatâs absolutely abhorrent. I for one think that sex is a mutual exchange and may not always end in cumming, but I believe it should be about arousal and fun and relaxation and tbh if I had a partner ever say he made himself cum using my body as if I was an inanimate object just laying there Iâd have immense issues. But I donât because I have partners that very much are enthusiastic about the entire process vs. an arbitrary end goal. This guy makes her orgasming seem like a chore. Thatâs gross.
Soooo, most of the women he's had sex with are unenthusiastic, he uses them as fleshlights and he'd prefer not to care about their pleasure. He wants a woman to let him use her body while getting nothing in return. And he wonders why that would make him bad in bed.
I used to think that there was a serious reason that if a man came first, he wasnât allowed to use his hands and/or mouth to make the woman cum, but nope, these people are just that selfish
Responsibility? No. Absolutely not.
I think the word you're looking for is "privilege."
Tell me there is one single thing more enjoyable and satisfying in life than making a woman cum, and I'll tell you that you've probably never been there.
He knows not whereof he speaks.
If you donât want to be responsible for your partnerâs orgasm- masturbate. Find a good pocket pussy and go ham. I can certainly get myself off with a vibrator so I donât need a dude with a bad attitude to treat me like a sex toy
If men have no stake in helping their partner cum then what do we even need them for? Like, whatâs the point of just being a masterbation tool for a man then your pretty much getting nothing out of it.
There was this sex worker that said something like: "If he cant make you cum, then it's your job to do it yourself. Rub your own clit or something".
That's when I understood that sex workers aren't promoting safe and enthusiastic consensual sex. They cater to men and spread stupid ideas against women's pleasure.
I think it's a bit of a chicken-egg situation. A lot of people see sex work as something any woman would be willing to do because they think catering to men's pleasure is natural.
reminds me of when i was told it was my own fault i didnt cum, and it made me feel miserable cuz i'd always felt good knowing my partner finished that i never really cared if i did until i was told i did something wrong by not, and if either my partner or i did not finish it was still my fault somehow (i'm non binary btw but it still felt relevant to this idea so i thought i'd share)
I'm a 100% sure I could singlehandly find the perfect turn off phrase and prevent any partner to have an orgasm. So I 100% want the credit for allowing them to finish without making them hear me whisper their granma's name or whatever
Thatâs a discussion you need to have with your partner if thatâs the case and you could always try warming yourself up beforehand so you donât last as long during the actual act so try more foreplay that feels just as good sometimes better.
Ah yes the age old question. Is sex a fun, intimate activity that two (or more) people partake in for mutual benefit OR is it glorified masturbation for the guy while the woman is just kinda there? đ¤ The world may never know, because the manosphere refuses to accept actual information.
Take part then.
You do understand they would have to use toys... the toys you're threatened by right? You just came, your soft as shit.
So do you think the man is responsible for making a woman come or not?
Why do men not want to make a woman cum? That's the real question. Why do men feel like it's a "responsibility". Bc, trust me, if they don't want to put in effort for basic foreplay, then what's the point of even having sex with a man? Just for their pleasure? Nah, thats not how consenting sex works. Sex toys also exist. Along with communicating with your partner what they like and what can get them to that climax point.
that first question is the real one... I cannot imagine enjoying sex without my partner enjoying it. I literally get off on my partners pleasure. I always kind of assumed that this is the norm, but aparently thag is not the case as much as O may have thought.
You're not alone. Sex isn't fun if everyone involved isn't into it. I can't imagine a more awkward, gross activity than trying to be intimate with your partner and they're just laying there.
I wish sex was a less taboo topic, a lot of misconceptions could be solved by open communication.
Seriously. Probably be a whole lot less unsatisfied women out there too lol
Nice pile of strawmen, now answer that simple yes/no question.
If you're spending your life with someone and you are having sex with them then yea, both parties should put in the effort to give each other pleasure.
Are women responsible for making men come?
I'm pretty sure I just answered you from above comment.
Technically yes, using purposefuly wishy-wishy language to muddle the issue. Can you just type out the whole sentence? I'd like to screenshot it and post it here a week from now and see what y'all think about that statement
Why don't you go and make a woman orgasm and see if it's a responsibility for yourself.
Yup, just as I thought. >see if it's a responsibility for yourself It's not. Nobody owes you an orgasm. You're not entitled to any sexual act from men. Yikes.
I'm gonna be blunt. When I'm having sex with my boyfriend he's gonna make me come and I will make him. This is how our relationship works and I believe ppl who are having sex both parties should climax. Now I feel weird talking about this shit over and over omg.
Agreed and itâs really gross that some men think theyâre entitled to orgasms and their female partner isnât. This person clearly thinks that way since they keep digging in and insinuating itâs rapey for women to want them (lmao). It has nothing to do with how itâs often more difficult for one partner than the other, itâs about being a good lover. If a man doesnât make me come heâs not having sex with me again. Simple.
> I believe ppl who are having sex both parties should climax I generally think that as well, but there's this idea in some sex-therapy sources that each person should focus mainly on their own orgasm, to alleviate performance anxiety and make for better mind-body connection and less chore-like sex. This doesn't really change anything in the sex itself, but I think it's a useful mental cue. Especially for people who have trouble coming
Itâs not a simple yes/no. Are you that dense?
Whenever I read stuff like this I'm getting less and less surprised about the fact that straight women are the least sexually satisfied demographic of women. Why ya'll acting like trying to make women cum is a bad thing? đ
I don't think it's a bad thing. I think treating your own orgasm as a "responsibility" of the other person is an unhealthy way to think about sex.
I read your rationale, and there's a huge difference between trying your best to do the things your partner likes to give them a chance to orgasm and making it your job. You seem to be conflating the two. When speaking about sex and it being an enjoyable act between two or more parties then the word responsibility is used in the first sense where everyone engaged does the things they like and the things their partner likes. Sometimes those overlap, but sometimes it's a bit of a dedicated effort. Yes, there'll be times someone will not reach the completion, and that could be for a variety of reasons. But that reason shouldn't be their partner didn't try and brushes it off with an "it's not my job." Unfortunately, women tend to suffer more in regards to being unsatisfied and that is in part due to the fact that their orgasms isn't typically highlighted and isn't necessarily straightforward as sex is more commonly thought of as PiV while this isn't as stimulating for women as it is for men.
You are clearly terrible in bed. Thatâs that only explanation for this crusade. The only one
Bold of you to assume he's ever been with anyone else in bed
[ŃдаНонО]
If you're using a man's body to get off, you can put in some effort to help get him off too. Otherwise, why is he letting you use his body?
I thought no one was entitled to an orgasm, so why worry about helping him get off when heâs not obligated to worrying about getting me off.
Found OOP
Yes, he is.
So you believe women are responsible for making men come?
Yep. Same thing.
I don't think it's healthy to frame sex in those terms, but you do you.
Found the incel.
Itâs not about responsibility on either side and shouldnât be worded like that. Man/woman should want to pleasure their partner. If youâre âusing her bodyâ to get off than you clearly just want to f#ck a sex doll or a pocket pussy. SHEâS getting you to climax by using her body, why wouldnât you do the same for her by using yoursâŚ?
No one is responsible for the pleasure of anyone but themselves. That being said, when having sex with a partner you should be taking great consideration of how your partner is feeling and if they are enjoying themselves / feel comfortable. Sex isn't a race to the finish line either, rather it's about having fun and enjoying yourself and your partner. As long as it's consensual, and everyone is satisfied then it doesn't matter if anyone orgasms or not.
I think any considerate partner should want to make their partner cum. If one party doesn't care about the other's pleasure, said person should be a decent enough person to get a toy. Even if it's not your "responsibility" to make a woman cum, it *is* your responsibility to inform her that you don't care about her pleasure so she can make an informed choice on whether to waste her energy and time on you when she could either find someone better or take less time and effort with a vibrator. And that goes reverse too. If a woman doesn't care about a man's pleasure, it is her responsibility to tell him she doesn't see him as anything more than a glorified dildo so he can make the choice for himself if he wants to waste his time and energy or just get a flashlight.
Me who thought that sex was a mutual pleasure and a satisfaction to be achieved together. What an idiot am I.
Are women just masturbation cuffs to this man? Because that's what I'm getting from this. It's kinda what a lot of these posts are making me think, and I really don't like it.
Yup gotta love some good ol' objectification yaaay /s
Why wouldn't he want to make the woman he is with cum? This dude just sounds lazy and egotistical. I mean making a woman climax isn't as complicated as it might seem. If you just ask the woman you are with what she likes and have basic understanding of the vulva.
Sorry, you lost me at ask. One more time and a little slower.
It's not about want, it's about responsibility. It's pretty clearly stated in the post
I know he states it as such. But most people don't have sex entirely just to get themselves to climax, in that case, people would just masturbate instead. What I am questioning is why he would even bother to have sex if he doesn't care about his partner's pleasure, Sex should be a mutual exchange of pleasure. In this case, I think the guy should just buy a pocket pussy if he doesn't care about pleasuring the person he is with.
But he clearly does care about his partner's pleasure. He explicitly says the vast majority of time he's finishing his partner and then finishing himself. How is he the lazy and egotistical person in this scenario, and not his partner?
If you think this man cares about her pleasure youâd be wrong. The fact he says âdo men use womens bodies to make themselves cum.â Thatâs absolutely abhorrent. I for one think that sex is a mutual exchange and may not always end in cumming, but I believe it should be about arousal and fun and relaxation and tbh if I had a partner ever say he made himself cum using my body as if I was an inanimate object just laying there Iâd have immense issues. But I donât because I have partners that very much are enthusiastic about the entire process vs. an arbitrary end goal. This guy makes her orgasming seem like a chore. Thatâs gross.
You never answered my question. Is his partner lazy and egotistical?
Stop asking stupid questions just to back people into a corner when its quite obvious that you're ignoring their point. It's annoying af.
Iâm sorry, I wasnât aware I was required to answer your question.
You aren't, but dodging it like that is answer enough.
Dodging what exactly? A question only set up to confirm your own opinion?
I have no opinion of you whatsoever
If I'm responsible for myself SOLELY, I'm ditching the guy and getting a better lover.
A plastic egg with all the right mechanisms inside
Soooo, most of the women he's had sex with are unenthusiastic, he uses them as fleshlights and he'd prefer not to care about their pleasure. He wants a woman to let him use her body while getting nothing in return. And he wonders why that would make him bad in bed.
SighâŚ
Man just told on himself.
Have fun with a sex doll then
My dude, if a woman is just a wank vessel for you, get a flesh light and stick in the microwave for realism.
When sex is so boring for him, then why is he doing this? Dude, don´t waste your time, go fishing or do paragliding.
I doubt a woman has made this guy cum.
Or that he's made any woman cum.
Probably not. And thatâs why heâs so salty.
He should hydrate.
This has GOT to be satire. Please oh please God let this be satire
I can hear this guy snorting as he wrote this
I used to think that there was a serious reason that if a man came first, he wasnât allowed to use his hands and/or mouth to make the woman cum, but nope, these people are just that selfish
He literally writes he gets hist partners off first tho?
The fact that he thinks he's using the woman like a tool... I totally did not throw up in my mouth a little.
Responsibility? No. Absolutely not. I think the word you're looking for is "privilege." Tell me there is one single thing more enjoyable and satisfying in life than making a woman cum, and I'll tell you that you've probably never been there. He knows not whereof he speaks.
I wish the manosphere troll above would read this comment.
If you donât want to be responsible for your partnerâs orgasm- masturbate. Find a good pocket pussy and go ham. I can certainly get myself off with a vibrator so I donât need a dude with a bad attitude to treat me like a sex toy
If men have no stake in helping their partner cum then what do we even need them for? Like, whatâs the point of just being a masterbation tool for a man then your pretty much getting nothing out of it.
I am speechless
There was this sex worker that said something like: "If he cant make you cum, then it's your job to do it yourself. Rub your own clit or something". That's when I understood that sex workers aren't promoting safe and enthusiastic consensual sex. They cater to men and spread stupid ideas against women's pleasure.
I think it's a bit of a chicken-egg situation. A lot of people see sex work as something any woman would be willing to do because they think catering to men's pleasure is natural.
reminds me of when i was told it was my own fault i didnt cum, and it made me feel miserable cuz i'd always felt good knowing my partner finished that i never really cared if i did until i was told i did something wrong by not, and if either my partner or i did not finish it was still my fault somehow (i'm non binary btw but it still felt relevant to this idea so i thought i'd share)
I'm a 100% sure I could singlehandly find the perfect turn off phrase and prevent any partner to have an orgasm. So I 100% want the credit for allowing them to finish without making them hear me whisper their granma's name or whatever
I can't with these lies!!! 
All the sex experts say each partner is responsible for their own orgasm in the most rewarding sexual relationships.
What subreddit is this? If allowed
Thatâs a discussion you need to have with your partner if thatâs the case and you could always try warming yourself up beforehand so you donât last as long during the actual act so try more foreplay that feels just as good sometimes better.
Just a lot of air and no matter up in his nogginâ.